The Sherman Harper SAGA Part 3 Never Give Up
by RRFerree
Summary: Jess and Slim move forward with their big business deal, and Jess' twin returns making a major impact on Slim's life while Jess meets a new interest and they both have to move through a huge tragedy and never give up.


**THE SHERMAN-HARPER ENTERPRISES SAGA** TRILOGY

 **\- PART THREE - "NEVER GIVE UP"-** Jun 2017-18

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Thank you for coming back. This whole story, "The Sherman Harper Saga" keeps expanding beyond what I originally thought or planned so I've had to change the order of a few things. Please pay note so you won't get lost. It is no longer a "trilogy with a prequel," it is a "saga." You need to read the earlier parts to have the background from which the later parts build and refer otherwise the story will not make sense. So make sure you've read Part 1 and 2 before reading Part 3.

I will be trying to edit FanFiction to match as follows:

Part One: The Inheritance released 2017 Jess meets his twin

Part Two: The Buckboard Incident (2017) Jess and Slim have the opportunity to expand their business based on something in Jess' early childhood but comes through pain and anguish.

Part Three: Never Give Up (this one) July 2018 Setting up the future going forward.

Part Four: Is half written because Never Give Up got too long. Potential release 2019

Part Five: I have enough to develop a 5th if the interest is there.

Originally, Never Give Up (NGU) was going to stop at a certain point, but it created a cliff hanger and I abhor those. Rather than leave everyone in a cliffhanger I decided to risk irritating some folks waiting on the next story and took a few extra months to rearrange Part 3 for a better tie over, but it created a strong beginning of Part 4 (Slim gets married?).

No compensation is made from these stories and no copy write infringement is intended.

FOR READERS WHO RESPONDED, Thank you for taking the time to write me. By far, I received more positive reviews and correspondence but there were several readers who were not that happy. Just so everyone is on the same page; I had readers who complained the stories were too long, BUT far more told me they loved the longer story giving them more time with the characters – living with them. The Website requires me to use formatting that makes it longer, too. (It tripled the number of pages). I had complainers about grammar, structure, chapters, etc., BUT others who liked the flavor of the times. Please use the "Chapters" as they are intended to be mile markers to keep track of where you are in the story, not so much where you stop and start downloading. I was advised by a published writer to NOT separate the upload by chapters because sometimes the website loses some of them. Next, I am a writer, not a computer geek. That means I'm lucky to even get the story uploaded within this website's computer format requirements. Next, I cannot control whether you are reading from a computer, a tablet, a laptop, a smartphone, an I pad or E reader; apparently all of them are being used. Please try to work with what's uploaded because I would go crazy trying to appease everyone's format and give up writing. My material is fact checked by myself to be as historically accurate as I can make it. It is not made up. I do not read any other's stories because I don't want accusations of plagiarism, so any similarity is pure accident. Besides I don't have the time to read others anyway and I'd rather be immersed within my own stories being with Slim and Jess. I try to respond to all messages, reviews and emails. Please be nice even if you're not happy and the majority of you are very nice. Remember this is for fun. If you don't hear back it's basically because I received a message of failure to deliver from your mailbox being full; I don't know how to fix that. I try to hurry getting the stories written, but I also have a life and responsibilities….this is a hobby, not my job and I receive no money from this effort. It takes time to create the stories and I thoroughly enjoy writing them, so please be patient with me. I'm doing the best I know how. Thank you for reading, for responding and I hope you continue to enjoy my stories as much I as enjoy writing them and spending time with our heroes. If you don't know, you can message me on the Fan Fiction website and I will respond. Shall we get started? May want to brew a large pot of coffee…huge pot.

~~~~~~~~~ Part 3: NEVER GIVE UP ~~~~~~~~~~~ RRFerree~~~~~

CHAPTER 1: Business, Deals, Acquisitions and Celebrations

Trying to wake everyone up on time for the day's historic business adventures, bright beams from the sun smiled through the windows to the inside the Wentworth's log lodge home on the Double K Bar S (DKBS) ranch. Outside the home the ranch acreage was being illuminated with all the new rusty colors of fall on the trees in the meadow the home and ranch had been built. It was a beautiful valley in north central Colorado just north of Long's Peak which you could see on a clear day, but the ranch was mostly in the rolling foot hills in the Red Feather's area of the Poudre Valley just west of the Virginia Dale stage stop on the Overland Route. Summer had lingered and then all of a sudden fall just burst into full color like a fireworks display and it seemed like overnight the aspens turned bright yellow and orange and were set in the backdrop of beautiful rusts and wild mums in all sorts of colors.

Slim's eyes opened quickly but it was from a sound he thought he heard and not from the sunbeams beckoning from the window. As his brain kicked into gear he could identify the sound was Jess sloshing around in the bathroom. They were in adjoining guest rooms sharing a fireplace and Jess' room was at the end of the hall where the guest bathroom was located. He raised up from the bed just far enough and peeked through the opened adjoining doorway into Jess' guest room confirmed he was not in his bed and neither was Sasha, his "nurse." On their first visit here when Jess was recovering from the buckboard accident the 3 year old white and sable Papillon toy breed dog, who was mostly a Wentworth house guest, had adopted him as her own pet human and self-appointed herself as his "nurse." She had almost immediately landed on Jess' lap, and after thoroughly sniffing his bandage areas wouldn't leave his side when he was in the house. She had even retrieved Slim when Jess had a minor setback. Sasha was owned by Kensie the best friend of the Wentworth's middle child Di, but both ladies were back east in their last year of college. Maggie, the only remaining mother, had gotten volunteered as Sasha's babysitter and apparently Sasha was very selective who fed and took care of her and she only tolerated her current care givers somehow knowing she was farmed out. The Wentworths adored Sasha and Sasha was fine with them, it just seemed that Sasha knew she was a house guest and not at home. Naturally, the diminutive 8 pound female with very dark chocolate brown eyes and long tan ear fringe that gave her head the shape of a butterfly had instantly selected Jess and promptly melted his heart leaving him no resistance whatsoever to her charms. Apparently Sasha was tired of being 'floated' and had made her choice of human companionship. One would naturally pair a tough, cowboy sorta former gunfighter with a "man-breed" dog like a cattle dog or a big wolf type and it had surprised Slim. But then Sasha was a dainty, pretty female and her mannerisms were all "lady" without being prissy and while she seemed quite the happy camper and highly intelligent, in her appearance she seemed vulnerable. Naturally as such, she immediately had captured that side of Jess that he gravitated to as anyone needing him, especially of the female gender. Fact be known, Slim believed it was because both Jess and Sasha had experienced no real 'belonging' early in their lives was what really had glued them together now as kindred spirits and it was beautiful to watch them together. And it was maybe a little funny to see the rugged, feisty and strong headed former hired gun wrapped around the little paw of such a delicate female who was as innocent, sweet and endearing as a little girl.

The bedding was shoved back in a messy heap per Jess' typical morning rituals. He'd finish with the ablutions and then come back and gear up for the day and make his bed. Slim was always impressed in the five or so years since Jess had arrived that he always made his bed up. Mike was not the same and needed constant coaching. Yes, it was a definite age gap but Slim figured it was more in the manners instilled by the mother of their birth homes like his Ma had in him, and the fact that Jess never had much as a child, so he took care of what he had even if was meager in the minds of others. That or due to his 'home' life, Jess slept on a blanket on the floor and had to roll up his bed every day to get it out of the way and it explained why Jess was so comfortable sleeping on the ground.

Well anyway, it was morning of another day and not expected to be typical. After significant sets of meetings and 'round-about' mailings between lawyers, title holders, real property sales people, etc.… they were finally set and back at the Wentworths on a 3-fold mission. First, for the signing of the land purchase for several sections of pure, prime pasture nicknamed for now as the "high 20" that had come on the market on the south end of the Sherman homestead. "High" because of the altitude and "20" was the 20 sections they were buying. Second, it created the business partnerships in mutual benefit with Wentworth's financing. Slim and Jess had been offered to utilize the Wentworth funding and plotting the acreage in return for Wentworth's first use of the land as pasture for their cattle and put the sale cattle closer to the Laramie trade and future railroads being put in. It would cut down on Wentworth cost of moving his herds to sale, including loss of weight. As more land became available for sale and Jess' new herd of Wentworth cattle began making money, Slim and Jess would then buy out the Wentworth first option and the Wentworths would then buy out the next section and repeat the growth process. Chuck had accomplished all the land ownership he desired and was paid for and bankable as equity for "projects". So his goal was now pruning the surrounding neighbor ranches networking with young like-minded cattlemen who would invest in his specially breed beef stock designed to improve the efficiency of the beef meat market. He wanted to grow a demand for organic, high pasture fed beef for a budding country finding their love of steaks and prime rib. His beef was becoming quite renowned for its exceptional grass fed flavor, lean texture and melt in your mouth tenderness.

Third and most significant to Slim and Jess was this opportunity tied them together to the official "paperwork" creating the Sherman – Harper Enterprises making Jess a fully documented partner with himself and Andy in the Sherman-Harper businesses. It put Jess as official co-owner of the land titled to it including the existing ranch in a three-way ownership. The "high-20" was being aimed at Jess' contribution to the original homestead as a three-some with Andy because of Jess' poker game getting them into the Wentworth cattle and a start up herd which merged with the needed and newly available pasture in a financing deal. When Slim had wired Andy wanting to put Jess on paper as a partner and co-owner of their ranch Andy's response had been a more than eager affirmative because that would keep Jess from ever leaving …again, and Andy wanted Slim to get Jess' signature- yesterday. The new excitement at home immediately began drawing Andy's "Sherman roots" back home and he was bored with school and "seeing the world." The newly forming "enterprises" was to be a mix of cattle, horse, and possible oil business bringing Slim's ranch forward from the dying stage coach business and into a more aggressive commerce with the railroads which were nearing Wyoming. Weeks, no months had been spent in this quickly developing aspect changing their lives and creating even more havoc, a good havoc but it had all started during an event that had almost cost Jess' life. It was a wonder he'd not been killed or crippled for life with that horrible buckboard accident that had happened in an attempted bushwhacking. (See The Buckboard Incident.) And whether or not it had been Jess' sheer luck or pure skill that won that poker hand placing them in ownership of a new breed of Wentworth cattle just before that accident was still not a rock solid fact in Slim's mind. But typical to the propensity within Jess to be constantly "getting into things" and stirring the pot, it was that poker game had sure started them down a road of pure adventure…..and pure profit all around.

Chuck's type of business was called "networking" and past making tons of his own money and becoming bored, Chuck had nabbed onto Slim and Jess in his new goals in life to building budding cattle ranchers he selected as being worth potential and prime business men to partner. The two-fold paradox to that story is that some 35 years ago Chuck and Maggie Wentworth had come back to Texas to live post-honeymoon and both knew Jess' birth family and both had immediately become family fondly attached to Jess' mother and to Jess since his birth. Maggie and Jess' mother Sarah had become more than best friends, sister and partners while they were together because Sarah had been able to help Maggie adjust to marriage, motherhood and the frontier. But they had moved to their current location just before Jess' birth family fell into ruins and Chuck had always regretted not trying to somehow nab onto the fresh, bright youngster at 5 years old who had a knack for seeing more than just the clouds on the horizon. The Wentworths tried to keep track of Jess but had lost his trail until Jess showed up as an extra wrangler on a cattle drive. Slim had sent him on the drive for extra income that month and Jess had gotten into a follow up meeting over a poker game leading Jess to win a stake in Wentworth cattle….and thus the reunion with the Wentworths.

There was always something afoot when Jess was around, always. Nothing in Slim's life had been the same since Jess had arrived and just his presence in any room brought life, a pesky energy of always stirring the pot of adventure off one wall or the other. Sometimes it was pure chaos, other times life threatening or lifesaving, and if nothing else was afoot, it was the ruckus of Jess' apple pie addiction and overall always-hungry state that kept Daisy on her toes. On more than one occasion Slim had to rescue Jess from being beheaded by a broom as he was absconding with token 'quality control samples.' And the opposite was true, whenever Jess was out of town or off site somewhere doing whatever he could stir up, the ranch was purely dull and lifeless and back to analytical purity that had been Slim's life and sanity prior to the likes of Jess Harper arriving on the scene. Nope, never a dull moment and Slim was constantly discovering just how dull his life had been prior to Andy nabbing Jess off the wide open. Apparently that Sherman analytical lifestyle had been created by his dad that he'd been weaned to but turned out had been far too shortsighted as establishing only a cattle ranch. The supplemental stage income had proved only a leaky patch because technology was advancing something called 'the railroad.' Instead of being a fine piece of cattle ranch supporting the immediate family, under the meddlings of the Jess Harper exuberance for living the Sherman Ranch was instead coming into its own as a prime piece of property located at the southern end of the Laramie town district and developing multiple avenues of income. Slim was almost positive Jess wasn't doing this out of any business genius, he just had a knack for opening doors, or shall we say, mostly just piling into them. In a full-of-life being, his exuberant ignorance simply knocks the doors down mostly in an amusing way. Hindsight is 20/20 they say and Slim and his dad had been too short sighted for the original homestead as only cattle, and what was turning out to be too short sighted as a relay station either as a business supplement. This was especially true as the railroads began centering focus as southern Wyoming was quickly becoming the viable production site for America joining the east with the west. That historical development seemed aimed at the southern side of Wyoming thus expanding the ranch from cattle only to other type of stock production and cargo shipment. Further, the revenue from the stage coach business was not the end goal, but the starting point of cargo transportation blazing the trail into the much larger and more profit bearing railroads.

Beyond even that, now touching the Sherman Ranch was other business potential such as the emerging oil commerce that was just being developed. Oil being discovered underground was found in its refining process to produce the by-product of kerosene and was a more profitable energy resource because it burned a brighter light and was cheaper than the coal oil everyone used. Edging into the energy aspects got to be more than Slim wanted to deal with and that's where he left that part in Jess' corral to deal with. Jess found the pending oil well head, Jess could well deal with it, too. Slim shivered at the sheer size of changes going on in their world and had to stop his poor groggy mind trying to wrangle with it this early in the blessed a.m.. Suffice it to say, today was a big, a huge day as they were set up to sign a bazillion papers on three huge developing deals. He wiggled and stretched every millimeter of his tall frame causing his feet to extend beyond the end of the very large bed. Stretching felt great but it was a good way to straighten all the generous fluffy bedding, too, making it easier to flip them closed when he did eject from the cavernous cocoon of what his ma had always called "Morpheus' delight" (sleep.)

Jess was taking just a little too much time this morning so Slim eased out of the bed and rubbing the sleep from his eyes floated through Jess' adjoining room as a shortcut to the bathroom at the end of the hall their adjoining guest rooms shared. He leaned against the doorjamb and since the door was already ajar he fully opened the door and was immediately smitten with a blast of hot, very moist air. Jess was standing at the sink facing the mirror fresh from the shower with only a knee length towel wrapped around his middle. The heated humidity in the small, tightly built room of this log home was thick and still too warm for even attempting to squeegee on the whole load of the day's clothes, especially as tightly as Jess wore them. He had just finishing the eternal, everlasting chore of scraping the never ending supply of scruff off his face and was reaching for the smaller hand towel to clean off the missed puffs of shaving cream near the edges of his face and freshly perfected sideburns. There's nothing like a hot shave after a hot shower when the scruff is still moist enough and that had taken precedence over the hair which hadn't even been addressed yet. Standing in the doorway Slim could admit being in a warm, moist private room with nothing binding anywhere on the body would be a treat, a real treat. No seven pound gun hanging down weighing one side of the posture or clothing hanging from a tight belt because there were no hips to stop gravity on those hanging pounds…. and in Slim's case, no bum either. With the hot water it could even be a coveted event compared to cold camping or the Sherman outbuildings and cold well water. Heck, warm as the room was, the towel around Jess' waist was probably there more for padding the sink counter.

Slim grimaced still seeing the top edges of the reddish scars from the spool of barb wire that had shredded Jess' middle and were still peeking up over the towel hanging off bones that would have been hips should Jess had any. As Jess' body had been healing Slim kept a close watch especially because the scars were from the buckboard accident where Slim had been driving and the responsibility for those scars weighed heavily on Slim. Even though Jess' injuries had closed up and he was taking care of them his self now, Slim still made a private purpose to sneak peeks of Jess' scared up body for healing progress and to watch for any out of usual movements or hitches in his get along. He wanted to give Jess his privacy considering the location of some of those wounds because he knew Jess' penchant for privacy around his "dignity" was important to him, so it was always done discretely. Sometimes Slim would see Jess grimace to a hitch, or a spasm during a mount or dismount especially after a long day in the saddle. One time from the kitchen window he'd watched Jess ride up one evening looking completely wrung out with an ashen gray face. Jess had parked Traveler up next to the barn door, dismounted with a slight hitch suspending him for a nano-second and then as he'd swung down but the boot barely touched the ground and Jess' legs had collapsed under him. Jess tried to pull leather but missed and landed half squatted, half kneeling and caved over his mid-section, his head bowed deeply with the hat tip pointed down and looking away over the corral. Slim could tell Jess was writhing in pain in his lower core, but no sound was coming from anywhere. By the time Slim had dropped the hot pot he'd been stirring on to the stove and ran to the barn drying his hands on the apron, Jess was pulling himself back to his feet via the stirrups. Traveler had turned his head and was nuzzling Jess' hat and Jess' face was white as a ghost under the day's scruff growth. Jess was still half bent over his roots and hanging onto the saddle enough Traveler had to take a short step closer to shore up his rider. Slim knew how hard it'd been for Jess to stay off the horse under Dr. Tim's orders trying to be patient waiting for broken bones and soft tissue injuries to heal and had to give him stars on his chart for obeying as much as he did. But Jess will be Jess and all cowboy (indestructible) there were still times he saw Jess sneak off on Traveler before he'd been released by the doc, knowing it'd had cost him later more than just once losing his legs in a dismount as all his muscle weight hit the healing broken leg. Injuries pile up on top of age and tends to slow the body down in recovering new injuries and cowboys can't seem to understand they have to slow down after a while. All Jess would say while trying to brush Slim away softly mumbling some screwed up story it was either he'd picked up a rock in his boot, or Traveler had slipped off some rock sideways earlier in the day, or it was a loose horseshoe and he'd be dropping Traveler's hoof in a feigned attempt to look like he was checking a hoof or a tendon. Slim finally over heard the truth one day after Tiger saw Jess go down like that and it'd scared Mike so much in worry he was crying, literally sobbing. Jess' face was so white and he'd seen the pain register before Jess could hide it. To calm Mike down, Jess explained his bum had fallen asleep in the saddle and when he got off it woke up stabbing him all over with numb needles just like when Tiger slept too long on one arm or the other. Mike had calmed down pretty quickly understanding that explanation and they ended up in a tight hug before Jess tousled Mike's hair and then Mike helped unsaddle Traveler. Well actually, did most of the legwork settling the horse in for the night – all Jess had to do was stand there and brush him down and carry the saddle in. It had been sweet watching them. Slim wasn't going to just forget the costs of this pivot point in their lives came with him in the driver's seat of the wrecked wagon after giving Jess a hard time just before the bushwhacking attempt and crash. He'd seen all the injury sites having helped Jess tend them when Jess was still too stiff from the actual impacts, bruises, and encased in scabs trying to regrow skin where the skin had disintegrated to where Jess couldn't see or reach some of them properly. The memory of Jess' torn up body was eternally etched in Slim's memory. After 5 years exposure to Jess, Slim finally figured out Jess would give up information about the more non-serious injuries making jokes and acting like he was suffering and begging for time off, using those to then hide and divert attention from the true serious ones he'd hide, so he needed to be monitored. This morning Slim saw the transparent white.. um…well, untanned skin underneath the still colorful scars realizing there was still residual tenderness toughening back up. So it must have felt good not having all the clothing, weight and binding trapped on and around that particularly sensitive skin underneath especially since that exact area was the location where Jess' holster constantly lived and there was not one ounce of fat for padding. Trying to be publically correct during the itchy, twitchy contortion stage of those healing gashes when scabs were coming loose over very tenderized skin had been pure comical hilarity, but that had been the only funny part of this adventure. Jess had laughed at himself as much as anyone else was knowing why he was twitching. Anyway, Slim thought had it been him, tall as he is, and as hot as the room still was, the towel wouldn't have been in play at all. This morning, however, Jess' face was completely relaxed in his enjoyment of the therapeutic spa he'd created for himself and Slim could tell from Jess' posture he was in no hurry to end his self-built luxury treatment session. Jess looked at the groggy Slim through the reflection in the generous sized mirror hanging over the sink which was slowly clearing of the humidity's fog.

"Well you look like the last thing the cat dragged in the door last night. You sure were working hard on that rick of wood through the night." Jess had a smirk on his face at Slim's bedhead hairdo and bloodshot eyes tattling on his lack of usual morning chipper. Slim was still physically tired from a cattle drive they'd finished last week.

"You're right about one thing."

"Ya? Just one?" Jess smiled as he laid the hand towel down and picked up his comb. He looked in the mirror and his shoulders sagged in anticipation of the work trying to get the wet tangled upheaval of curls to lay down in some kind of wave order so they'd stay mostly put the rest of the day…or at least look like he'd tried.

"Something about these beds just knocks ya out. Never slept in one my feet didn't hang over until here. Maybe that helps."

"Beds or these huge logs. Can't hear a daggum thing outside ta make you worry."

"Benefit of having hired hands to do all the worrying for you." Slim softly rubbed his bare chest with the palm of his hand and yawned then he reached overhead and hung from his fingertips off the top door jamb. "How'd you do last night?" His eyelids had jammed shut and locked down as good as any bank safe as he'd yawned and he had to shake his head and really pull to get his eyelids back open.

"With your snoring? Not much at all." Jess was parting and re-parting the side part of the mass of thick, unruly curls riding an ocean of dark brown waves. They both just finished a cattle delivery the week before and his routine haircut was overdue making the head full of hair at its maximum length Jess allowed, or maybe could control. The more he combed them the more they seemed to grow and expand.

"C'mon on, stop exaggeratin', my snoring ain't that bad." Subconsciously Slim's hand shoved back the curl hanging down off his own forehead realizing his hair was due for a cut, too. A little length on his mop always helped hold the wayward in control but the length in back was getting long enough to constantly harass his collar and the flip of the waves was a tad too feminine for his taste…. and well, Jess always managed to start teasing him when it would flip.

"Oh ya? So you stay awake at night listening to yourself, huh?" Jess let out a small gasp under his breath ….the part still wasn't where ….. "!" One more time….

Slim made an exasperated look at Jess and waved at the commode on the other side of him. They were enjoying the new invention (1851) that was gaining popularity and had a small water tub that was mounted on the back wall overhead a few feet atop a tall commode seat attached to the wall. The reservoir was high enough you wouldn't hit it with your head and had a bead string you pulled to flush the deposit made in the seat outside somewhere. Slim hadn't gone exploring "the where part" but it was obviously a new improvement and those were not uncommon in this house based on some catalogs Slim found on the night stand in his bedroom. Maggie's east coast family kept her up to date with all the latest inventions, including modern or hard to find household items, in cooking spices, kitchen gear and gadgets and fancy entertaining implements. It was no doubt why they had an indoor, hot water shower, too. That was either one of Junior's (Jr) innovations or an east coast invention spreading west but that shower was quickly becoming a bone of contention because Jess seemed to want to live in it.

"Knowing you, probably too excited about today to settle down for sleep. Hey, you gunna be much longer? It's just hair, Jess, not artwork."

Jess' eyebrows furrowed upwards in a mock pout. "Eh! Takes a lot of work to get myself pree-sentable. 'Sides today is special. Not every day I become an OH-fficial executive in a business. Gotta look jeesst…" It was the third attempt on the part… "…right." Jess smiled at himself in the mirror knowing he was getting under Slim's skin and decided to rile him further in return for the howling snoring that had made sleep nearly impossible.

"Ya, you're just working on making all the ladies think you fall out of bed looking perfect, but I know better."

Shuffling back and forth on his feet, Slim was one step away, literally, from doing a big brother assist from his height advantage by grabbing the comb, pushing Jess' chin down and parting the brown sea of waves his self! It was just a gull dern part. Slim was out of patience and nature's first morning call, now pushing against vertical gravity, was working harder on his plumbing than Jess' jokes. After all, there's a proper place and time for riling one's pard and blocking that first call of the mornin' is not par-ti-cu-larly the wisest choice, ya know. So seeing Jess' secure grip on the comb he shuffled inside the bathroom pushing the door fully open and making sure it stayed open, he slipped behind and to the other side of Jess where the commode was as if to do double time then he turned around to face Jess offering him a fair chance to excuse himself. Slim took a look at Jess to see if he caught the implied urgency, but Jess had just typically noticed any movement and then maybe moved over ½ inch and continued working unbothered by the idea of doing double time. Jess seemed to be accepting they were both men and being military vets used to community men's rooms. Well, ok, but this was a generous one person room but still with limited aroma space. With his hand on his chin Slim then purposefully looked down at the towel wrapping Jess' waist and then peeked around him out the door to the hall which, past the four bedrooms on this wing, lead 40 or so feet away to the centered dining and living rooms. Breakfast aromas were filling the air and it was easy to hear pans clanging and voices cheerfully yapping and Maggie laughing. Jess paused, his arms still raised with the comb working on getting the side part on his hair at the exact longitudinal latitude on his skull plus perfectly straight and picking at single hairs who were not sure which side of the said dividing line they were supposed to live. He looked in the mirror at Slim's face that was planning the unthinkable.

"You wouldn't dare." Jess challenged not believing Slim would actually have the audacity to shove him into the hall wearing only his towel, especially as guests in a swanky house. The verbal challenge was however….um… backed up by an imperceptible lean forward and an inch off target from one of the largest buckboard accident scars on Jess' lower flank safely bracing his lower core with his legs into the towel and sink…juusst in case. After all, Jess was savvy enough to know you don't live with your prank-equal without some level of insurance reinforcing his lower center of gravity. Legs were locked and loaded, check.

Very slowly with his now fully awakened blue eyes twinkling with decided dubious deeds of deviousness, Slim smiled looking at Jess' face back through the mirror reflection and in slow motion began moving his hand from his chin toward the towel. Jess didn't believe Slim would actually go through with stealing his towel, too, a double indignity, oh, that would be… and he made the mistake of lingering just one micro-second too long expecting slow motion the entire distance. Just the beginning of the second when Jess started to drop his hands from parting the brown wavy sea, in one deft move Slim suddenly re-diverted his left hand and bumped Jess at the shoulder jarring him from the lean against the sink. Then with the right hand he jerked the damp towel off snapping it like a matador's cape as it left contact with Jess-parts and with the left hand he finished shoving Jess sideways on his shoulder pushing him clear through the door into the hall. Yes, it snapped with a sounding thwack coming off of human skin, but angled away from the scar areas hit the targeted bum skin. After all Slim was a well-practiced and challenge mastered artiste at towel snaps having a younger brother... and just how dadgum worthless is it to simply steal the towel without the sound effects OR the slight red signature? Then he quickly slammed the door closed while still holding the empty towel up like a prize trophy and grinning from ear to ear.

"!"

Now…. by reasons of constant demonstrations repeated countless times and easily in view for years, Slim had been fully indoctrinated and was well familiar with Jess' athletic prowess and cat-like reflexes. His push was gauged and perfectly executed to be hard enough not to knock him over, huh-uh. That wasn't the plan as that would automatically bypass the already renowned short fuse of his temper. Nature's morning call had fully alerted Slim there was no leeway for time to engage said pardner in a fight at the other end of that notorious temper. Plus a fully loaded bladder and pipes are not something you need distracting you from required survival moves in such defensive maneuvers trying to salvage your body's ability to perform even the mere simplest moves such as breathing air. No, this was just enough so that Jess only had to stutter step to keep his balance in the hall in order to keep from going down in a completely helpless, sprawled out, and definitely unflattering heap of man parts. And as timed and expected, Jess' stutter-step was a mere three-beat plus pirouette move any dancer could hit after their first waltz lesson and which was artfully accomplished as well as any stage dancer's line performance. And as also expected, he instantly reached back for the door knob desperately trying to turn it at the very same second the door closed. Did I mention how fast Jess' reflexes are? The knob turned frantically but the door didn't budge because the a-for mentioned grinning, and somewhat calculating blond pard was instead feeding Jess' angst by leaning against the door itself with his hand higher up on the other side and with his bare foot at the base making the door knob in the middle utterly useless. Slim wasn't interested in tearing their host's door knob apart. He knew he had both height and weight advantage over Jess which was his only chance for surviving against the shorter man's dense muscle tone, lower center of gravity and well known short fuse. Practical jokes, you realize, or successful ones, have to be carefully planned with strategy just as much as accomplished as artfully as any well-executed military maneuver. And it's not like Jess hadn't received advance warning. Of further important note, Jess' bedroom containing all his clothes was a mere 12 inches around the door jamb of the adjoining room. That fact seemed to escape notice as the freezing sub-arctic cold of the normal temperature in the hallway compared to the spa-heated bathroom, added to being stripped of any insulating accoutrement, was not the only thing that sincerely motivated Jess to stand close to the corner of the door jamb and cram as much of his afore mentioned (ah….hem)-parts into it as tightly as he could. He quickly jerked his head around looking nervously down the hall remembering there were female voices coming from the other end of the hall. The last thing Jess needed was peeping females concerned over a commotion just down the hall, even though the end of the hall he was standing in was mostly dark in shadows of the dense convergence of solid log construction with no windows or lit lamps anywhere nearby.

"SLI!...mm! Open this door!" A now fully shivering Jess yelled in a whisper whilst rattling the door knob. "SLIM! There's wem..en out here," Jess' voice cracked and was at least one half octave higher than usual… "…. dadgum it! My clothes ar…."

Slim was not a heartless pard prankster. No, none whatsoever. None the less even though, as mentioned, Jess' bedroom and all his other clothes were a mere 12 inches away, the bathroom door already had begun to open a few inches and Jess' pile of clothes began a quick parade ejecting through the door in rapid succession and in single file. The first one was ejected strongly beyond plus lofted just far enough over Jess' head it made him back into the hall to retrieve it from escaping too far down the long corridor in the vicinity of those female voices. It was also planned to loft it high enough to back him off the door as knowing that trying to pick them from their flight path one by one whilst still airborne would keep him busy from charging back through the door. There were never that many pieces to his wardrobe ensemble for any given day anyway, so Jess was actually gaining ground both collecting the flying objects and getting back to the door when the last piece, his jeans, landed with a thwap in a wad on his face and wet hair. It messed up what little he'd managed to get groomed and completely annihilated the divide in the parting of the brown sea of waves. Most of the top part of his hair fell back onto his forehead in a heap meeting up with the uplifted furrowed eyebrows.

"…..re in….there." his voice faded unlike the fresh blush, er …rush of blood stampeding to his face. Those colors were vividly displayed on the canvas of the renewed countenance freshly stripped of its camouflaging scruff and sweat dried dirt he constantly claimed proudly as his natural tan. As he leaned over collecting one of his socks off the floor that he'd missed, the door briefly opened again just a few inches and poor, little Sasha's sitting body was gently shoved through the bottom part. She landed nose to nose with Jess looking very startled with her large deep, dark chocolate rimmed eyes and in a still seated position. She had the other one of Jess' socks half wrapped around her seated bum and the other half of the sock was gathered up and stuck on her head like a Santa hat with her ear fringe sloppily half jammed into it. Some of her ear fringe half covered her eyes but overall she looked rather charming in a bed-head sort of way as though she'd quickly gotten wrapped in an oversized piece of his garments. She had to cock her head slightly to one side to see out the one unblocked eye discovering her human pet's nose to nose with hers.

"DA GONE IT! My nurse, too?!" Jess shrieked a whisper launching back up to vertical now in boiling anger and fully onto his toes. Having lost the challenge and still in disbelief, his clothes-stuffed mitts were propped on his unprotected hips. Pranks against his self was one thing and Jess could take care of his self, but an overflowing prank involving an innocent lady who just happened to be in his presence, too? Well! THAT was just beyond the boundaries of Jess' world of moral integrity and well beyond the rules of prankdom! His next comment… um threat wasn't loud enough Slim could have heard it. "OH..You just asked for it, Pard!" Already busy plotting his revenge, like a boxer in a match he took a swing punching the door with the clothes-padded hand. He nudged Sasha with his toe and she looked up at him from sniffing his shorts that just fallen on the floor in front of her. They had fallen off the bottom of his wadded clothing that had just accosted the door on her behalf. Still wearing the sock hat half covering her eyes she thumped her entangled tail slowly on the floor looking up his frame to his face as though seeking direction asking if something was amiss or is this a new game? The longer he looked at her face the more it seemed to be asking in a feminine flirty face his opinion of how she looked wearing his "robe" (over size sock).

"Enjoying the view?" He snapped at her, his anger was so breached it precariously teetering on an overflow onto his own "innocent bystander."

But somehow the absolute innocence continued exuding from the depth of her dark chocolate eyes and her overall disorderly appearance instantly began melting Jess' heart at both of them having been so rudely subjected to the indignity of being ejected from their spa. Plus she looked so helpless to move as his sock was wrapped around her seated rear. How can you stay angry looking at such a sweet, guileless face? It wasn't her fault and hers had been a more gentle and dignified ejection. She was just as much a victim as he was, but hers was done tenderly and respectful to a lady. His angst refocused back on his own insult. She had a fur coat and was wearing his sock so at least she was in a dignified state of respect. The abject innocence in her face bought pardon for Slim at least from her. Holding the wadded up clothes over strategic locations he bent back over and snapped the shorts off the floor with his middle finger just as he began hearing voices getting closer to the hall. Chuck must have arrived from his other hallway asking.

"Seen the boys yet, Momma? We don't wanna be late. Mornin', Ada!" Jess could hear Chuck giving Maggie a very noisy morning smooch, no doubt leaning her back like a dancing dip. Then Maggie snickered playfully, "Poppa!"

"Can't help myself, Mother. I happen to love you!"

"I love you, too, Dear. I heard the shower running some time ago, so it should be anytime, now. I'll go check on them." Maggie's very cheerful voice volunteered.

Like a little boy who'd been caught playing away too much time getting dressed Jess' heart skipped a beat added to a murmured "dadgum." Her voice sounded even closer than Chuck's and Jess heard her footsteps on the solid wood floor. His eyebrows peaked again in deep concern, shooting another quick look down the hall. Needing emergency action, he forgot the purpose of his sentence about Sasha's female viewing choices, nodded sideways at Sasha to follow him and quickly ducked into his room scant inches away. (about a half step to his stride length). As always he held the door open for her as he did for all ladies only this time he was already through it and standing behind the door still carrying strategically places garments. She followed as quickly as she could trying to stand up whilst entangled with the other end of his hefty and long boot sock which then stretched on the floor behind her like an overly heavy bridal veil dragging her head to one side. As she went by him Jess softly tugged her hat off with a hand so gentle it didn't even affect her stride, then he quickly closed the door. Without a pause in her gait and freed from the confines of the human's odd confinement she shook her whole body nose to tailgate effortlessly dropping her hair back into its natural setting. Jess smiled watching her wishing his hair would line up that easily. Daintily she snorted and easily lofted herself onto the bed two and a half times her height heading for the indention in the bed at the pillow and nestled down blinking slowly back at him. Angst gave way to an endearing smile as Jess watched her tuck her nose to the bed where his scent would be the strongest. He thought to himself, she was in her birthday suit and it didn't bother her none he was in his. She was not the least embarrassed over his exposed anatomy parts of no particular knowledge or even of any interest to her. Probably even why he enjoyed her comfort and touch so much. She wasn't after him for his appearance, didn't care what he looked like and her eyes never undressed him stripping him with imagined x-ray vision through his clothes down into his dignity. Being 'pretty' can be just as much a curse. Her priorities were loving life, loyalty in dedicated companionship including protecting him and unconditional love. It didn't matter to her worth a hill of beans he was standing there completely in the buff, his hair half wet and going every which way and loose and his one and only set of best clothes all waded up in a heap in his huge hands quickly getting wrinkled by his severe mega-watt grip. Her eyes were already getting droopy headed for a snooze surrounded by the aroma of her favorite bi-ped. He flipped his wads of clothes onto the foot of the bed, loaded on his shorts in the two steps it took for him to reach the bed and kneeled into her body circled on the bed. Jess pulled the mass of down-filled, Jess-fragranced and very fluffy bedding as a cocoon of security around her and also his self's parts for warmth and for decency. Then he completely leaned over her, encompassed her body with his huge mitts on either side of her curled body corralling her and put his freshly exfoliated face over her always groomed body kissing her ribs. He cooed nothing words in his deep voice into her tummy as she sniffed through sorting the waves of hair on top of his head in a seemingly understanding way and planted a soft lingering lick with her eyes closed. He couldn't tell if she was trying to help him with the hair area of grooming from her own experience with hair or simply giving her approval to its au natural style. He looked into her soft face, scratched lightly under her ear fringe tenderly with his digits and holding her cheeks with his index fingers gave her a long unhurried smooch on her forehead and her eyes were closed. Then he snuggled his body completely surrounding her while pulling the top quilt over them creating a secure yet soft enclosed cocoon of warm safety. Sometime after his door had closed where he didn't see it, the bathroom door opened briefly again and Jess' comb came flying out flipping end over end and landed alone on the floor beyond where he'd been standing… well, been crouched. He heard Maggie talking to Slim muffled through the doors, but he didn't care. Priorities are priorities, ya know….

Suffice it to say, Jess arrived at the breakfast table before Slim because while Slim had been busy getting ready, it had taken just a wee, tiny bit longer to check everything before he picked it up anticipating the payback to jump out and surprise him, which it didn't. Secondly, not having found the comb in the hall, Jess arrived with his hair dry but uncombed, it was still in a messy heap of waves and not the usually orderliness. It certainly didn't match the business wear he'd upgraded to for the day's events. And it obviously bothered him because through the meal he kept having to push it back with one hand or the other while glaring at Slim who only smiled back with a look of innocence plastered on his face under perfectly coiffured blonde hair. Chuck didn't notice being in the mindset for the business they were facing, but Maggie noticed Jess fiddling with its uncooperative and somewhat fuzzy state and his frustration and glares at Slim. As they ate trying to break the awkward silence she offered,

"That's a little different style than you normally wear, Jess. It looks a lot softer styled that way and it's nice, too. Are you going for a new look?" She put a bite into her mouth and smiled at Jess hoping it would be received as a compliment, then glanced at Slim. She innocently had landed on the absolute worst topic and instantly got a wide eyed wave off by Slim behind Jess' head as he looked toward her. Her smile melted like butter in a hot saucepan on the fire.

"No, Ma'am. Just a….missed the window where I can convince it where to sit down." He shot another glare at Slim biting his words as he spoke.

Maggie was speaking back to Jess but watching Slim quickly trying to read them as a hostess quickly concerned her home was falling short. Her forehead was wrinkled up in concern facing the potentially devastating blow that her hostess efforts were failing. Next to her kids and marriage, her home, her nest, was everything and she'd worked very hard making it comfortable for guests. That made her pursue the distress past Slim's attempted wave off.

"I know what you mean, Jess. I have to get mine tied down at a certain dampness or it just does its own thing. Your momma, bless her heart, when we first met and your daddy would be away, she'd let me pull her hair down and mess with it." She flexed her fingers in memory as though styling hair then reached for another biscuit before picking her fork back up. "She had the longest, most beautiful thick, dark hair, about the same waviness as yours. I just loved messing with it. Hair that's as thick and wavy as you and your momma's was not easy to convince some days. She had the same problem I did. If you didn't get it at just that right dampness nothing could be done, just pull it up somehow and pin it all down."

"I like your hair down, Mother. Even better when I can put my hands through it." Chuck teased in a flirting manner while preparing his next bite and Maggie blushed. He stuffed his bite into his mouth and waved his fork up and down Maggie's upper torso, swallowed quickly and added,

"Momma's always had hair down past her um …..waist. It's just gorgeous when she lets it down. Just love getting my hands in there." Chuck aimed his fork at the next bite on his plate but looked up and winked at her appearing very boyish in a manly way.

"Poppa!" Maggie was in another full out blush but Slim and Jess both thought she looked twice as beautiful.

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on, Momma. Inside out, hair upside or down. I'm the world's luckiest man and you in my life is the best thing that's ever happened to me!"

Jess took a wall-eyed look at the two Wentworths as though he'd never heard a husband make such a sweet compliment, then at Slim impressed with the public compliment of a husband honoring his wife.

Slim was having a field day and he smiled at Maggie then Jess and then he nodded half sideways closing his eyes momentarily in an "aw shucks" moment. Then blinking open again he started to open his mouth as though to offer to style Jess' and he flexed his fingers mimicking Maggie but Jess saw it from the corner of his eye and then fully glared at Slim.

"DON'T even!" Jess growled cutting off any remarks about Slim offering to put his hands on Jess' hair. Slim stifled another grin making a faux face of 'ooh you're scaring me.' Maggie raised her eyebrows in surprise and caught on there had been some friction on the matter before breakfast. She grinned at them shaking her head.

"I can still see you two as little boys on the floor wrestling over some issue. Jr and Jerry were too far apart in age and Jerry was never a real physically active boy…he liked books more. I trust you find our guest bathroom a workable situation. Except for the master suite, we planned one bathroom per two bedrooms here. Jr and Jerry shared a bathroom & Di shared one with the guest room. How many bathrooms do you have at your ranch Slim?" She thought she'd take Slim down a notch and maybe help Jess. It didn't work.

"Just the one, Ma'am, but I think Jess here has taken a liking to your shower. He gets camped out in it and I can't hardly get him out so's I can get in and do my chores. 'Sides, it don't matter none how he works the hair. Just always shoves the hat on and then when the hat comes off, he has natural hat-hair just like the rest of us. Nobody ever notices and he loses more hats than …don't know why he even bothers." Slim half grinned and shoved another fork full of food in his mouth as though he'd scored two more points with his jab.

"Well, I notice. Jess, you always look so well-groomed and put together, even back when you were all banged up from the buckboard accident. Takes some effort to pull that off every day when hats are involved with thick, wavy hair. Wavy hair as thick as his always works like springs pushing hats off whenever the head moves. Men may not give notice about personal grooming, but us women sure do. You men are welcome to use Jr and Jerry's bathroom, too, please help yourself to anything in the house.. ….like you were in your own home. Be just like old times, wouldn't it Poppa, when all the kids were home and the whole house was just so FULL of…."

"…Noise, Mother…." Chuck chuckled as he interrupted her. His age was showing a little through the gray hairs.

Jess had picked up another biscuit and with Slim's comment he grabbed the knife like it was a weapon. Still watching the unspoken communication between them Maggie quickly reached for the favored peach jelly she made from Jess' mother's recipe that he craved. She was serving from its jar and handed it toward Jess making sure the label was where he could see it. She could tell now by putting two and two together that Jess had gotten cut short in his ablutions time.

"Opened a fresh one this morning, just to begin our celebration of the day's historic events."

Glancing at her hands moving the label up front of his most favored preserves and one of the rare sweet memories, in one smooth move Jess' entire body changed direction as he spoke. He graciously accepted the treasured potion of clove infused peach preserves as though touching something highly revered. He started to dive in with his knife then remembered it was a shared jar and not from his private stash back in Laramie that Maggie had been so generously restocking. Weighing the jar in one hand and his knife suspended in the other, he put down the knife and with his fork scraped clean a corner of his empty plate and then took the knife and portioned about a third of the jar onto the prepared corner of his plate. As he worked on the preserves he spoke.

"Thank you, Maggie. Your home and hospitality is pure pleasure and very comfortable. Slim and I have never slept so well as we do in your home. And I do enjoy a good shower… which unlike Slim's, is one that's indoors and has hot water. When you actually have a beard to deal with, that hot water makes a big difference." It was spoken in perfection as a glib dig stated as a full complement with a straight face on Maggie's side and a half grin on the side of his face facing Slim and was a return volley of equal or greater value. Maggie did a second look at Slim's face comparing Jess' freshly renewed skin with Slim's complexion of nearly invisible pores any woman would be jealous to have.

Slim started to say something but had to pull his jaw closed over the insinuation he didn't have a beard and shot Jess a pouty look. After taking a deep sniff of the fresh buttermilk biscuit and smiling behind it, Jess then slathering fresh butter drowning the hot biscuit then layered it thickly with the peach preserves working artistically as though sculpting a piece of fine porcelain…. Calories were welcomed, the more the better in Jess' world of high metabolic burn. As hoped, connecting with the cherished peach delicacy worked and seemed to sooth Jess' rancor and his hackles settled down some.

"An outdoor shower and cold water?" She exclaimed and then shivered all over. "You know, though, I remember Jr making a similar statement when he finally got the hot water system my sister sent out here up and running." She giggled lightly, "THAT invention actually took him more than one day to install. Anyway, Jr had a full beard when he turned 12 and he said the same thing, hot water made it so much easier. His beard! Takes after Chuck's pa. Sure made the girls go crazy, though. Did they ever chase him….oo..ee!" Chuck chuckled without looking up from his plate as he used his biscuit to shovel the last crumbs of his scrambled eggs onto the fork. Then he quickly jammed it into his mouth before they could jump ship again.

Slim just rolled his eyes and watched Jess use his biscuit to stop the preserves from jumping ship over the edge of HIS plate as he gathered the remnants with his spoon and ate the balance of the scooped delicacy off the spoon. Covertly done, the spoon was loaded so that it was more Jess eating peach preserves with a biscuit rather than a biscuit with preserves. Had he been alone he would have eaten the entire jar full as he had done as a boy whenever he found one. As he'd once explained to Daisy, to him, a 4" high jar of preserves equaled one piece of pie since they were about the same size and the biscuit substituted for the pie crust.

Later after breakfast and just before going out the front door to load into the buggy, Slim and Jess were standing facing each other about 4' apart at the front door hats in hand waiting for Maggie and Chuck to join them, but they weren't talking. Jess' hair was still fuzzed and out of whack and he was giving Slim an unyielding gunfight stare and repeatedly lifting his gun out of the holster about an inch then letting the Colt drop of its own weight into the holster while twirling his hat in his left hand. He was still mulling over a planned revenge and not letting Slim forget. The hat would have to be worn all day, which without some order to the hair underneath only meant the barber-due thick and wavy hair would be constantly pushing the hat off especially if there was any kind of breeze. Slim's jaw was flexing and he almost started pacing. Jess was well practiced in speaking with his face added to his gun fidgets. A nervous Slim knew repayment would not be in a gunfight, no, that was too simple for the high rank of prickly prankster he'd found Jess to have achieved. But Slim knew Jess was telling him he was in some preettty deep poo by now seeing the level of calculation delaying the return. He quickly fell in behind Chuck going out the door. Just behind Chuck by a few strides was Maggie and Jess waited for Maggie to precede him through the front door. As she passed Jess she reached her right hand out and offered to shake hands with him which Jess thought that strange, but accepted her hand, he thought to help her through the door. She reached naturally and slipped palms with him in a very purposeful swipe without grabbing his hand or pausing in her pace she whispered to him,

"Rub it on your hair. It helps in the humidity here." And she smiled coyly and deftly plucked his hat from his hands and went on through the door without slowing or missing a step in her brisk stride.

The quick loss of his hat startled him and in delayed reaction he watched her abscond with it so easily, started to reach back for it in protest, then feeling the moisture in his hand he looked down seeing a clear dab of some kind of gel. He raised his eyebrows briefly, closed the door behind them and followed her to the buggy while he rubbed his hands quickly together, quickly smelled it approving the lack of female fragrance and then wiped his hands off on his hair expertly finger combing it down into its usual pattern as easily as if he actually had a comb and mirror. And it looked perfectly coiffured. By the time they all reached the buggy, without anyone needing to pause, he had worked it through his hair and Maggie slipped his hat back to his one hand, he assisted her into the buggy next to Chuck with his other hand, then he doffed on his hat low over his eyes as though nothing had happened and climbed aboard Traveler. Truth be known, he planted the hat targeted to pin down the front, the part and sides to set the gel, it just also happened to look quite dashing lowered over his forehead, too. Slim stopped at Buck's side and started to climb on, then removed his foot from the stirrup and checked his cinch just in case it was ever so slightly loose as a joke…..his whole morning had been that way, one step forward two steps back. But it was tight and he climbed aboard. That didn't stop Jess and with the hat still low while leaning one elbow on the saddle horn. Having glided from the front door, loaded his hostess and then climbed aboard Traveler like one slick, cool dude, he shot a teasing half smile and looked out the side of his eyes at Slim, with a deep voice cooed;

"Saddle on good there, Pard?" It never hurts to keep an indebted prank quarry alert.

Slim's forehead lifted his hat higher as he cupped up his lower jaw and shaking his head slightly knowing it was just a matter of time and retribution would rain down. He'd just have to survive somehow. When nature calls, and keeps ringing without being answered, you just don't wait on "preeening."

Once they reached the town Chuck's attorney had as his office headquarters, while Maggie went on her covert shopping mission for Jess' "thank you gifts" the meeting at the attorney's office signing tons of partnership and land purchase papers was on time and went off without a hitch. It just took time to go through all of it. Even though the papers had been drafted and passed back and forth several times during previous months working out the kinks and discovering legal terminology vis a vie Chuck Wentworth's school of business, these were the final drafts and it still seemed to take an eternity and mostly just signing duplicates. Chuck worked through multiple business contacts with people who'd proven themselves in previous deals under strict confidentiality. When working a deal this large with multiple owners it had to be by the book for him so that nobody was gouged in price markups dealing with a ranch owner of his um… obvious financial acumen and accumulated wealth. Chuck insisted on a fair price for all and that included himself. That also meant lots of paper trail and scheduled sub-meetings with agent buyers and sellers and above everything else, strict confidentiality. Neither Slim nor Jess could figure out how the attorney kept all the people and papers in order especially when there were duplicates for each party to keep. But there were just tons of succeeding papers filling an entire conference room table all in chronological order neatly stacked and bound. Portions done by other parties involved had been completed and Chuck's group were the final signatures. Had the table been a corral full of cattle, Jess and Slim would have been extremely impressed. Neither one felt so bad later justifying the price they coughed up to pay for their part of all that paperwork and just the sheer business knowledge how to put it together. While Slim was his typical cool, calm and collected Jess was fidgeting and wouldn't sit down but hovered and paced and watched and listened to everything that was said or needed to be read, then signed after Slim. So when Chuck's attorney offered a break mid-way through for fresh coffee and a trip to the men's executive room Jess had broken off quickly leaving the room waiting for no one. Slim ended up tagging behind him by about 30 seconds and finally caught up with him going back out the door into the hall.

"Hey, Jess, wait up." Slim called softly double checking the room they were leaving and the hall they were entering was clear of other humans. Jess jerked to a stop looking back at Slim as though awakened abruptly surprised someone was behind him. They ended up Slim had Jess backed up to the wall in the hall trying to get him to stand still long enough to talk.

"You know, I've seen you stare death in the face in gunfights and jump into 5 men at one time in saloon fights. Last time I saw you this pale you were dealing with Josie's esquire and been told you were a twin. I think I figured out why you didn't sleep so well last night. It's the lawyer thing, right? Last time you faced an attorney he told you you're a twin then she's died all in the same 5 minutes. Either that or you're not quite ready to settle in on those fence posts with me yet. Look, Jess, I don't want to push you into anything you don't want so if you've changed your mind just say the word and I'll stop all this." He waved at the door to the attorney's office maybe 30 feet away.

Jess leaned slightly forward toward Slim, blinked deeply several times with his head slightly cocked to the side and furrowed his eyebrows as though wondering what planet Slim was coming from maybe even wondering what language he was speaking. Then he touched Slim's elbow in reassurance lightly but quickly withdrew and frowned.

"Huh? No…. I mean…well, ya…he's one of those…" Jess looked at the attorney's door nervously.

"So this is me, Jess. What's bothering you?"

Jess squirmed and looked briefly over Slim's shoulder out a window in the hall and Slim moved his head in the sight path drawing Jess' gaze back to his face. Jess shifted his weight, looked down at his new, fresh and polished boots, and rubbed a scuffed tip off on his calf pant leg.

"Jess?"

"Somebody try to convince me 5 years ago to get this deep into a business partnership, Ida… I dunno…" he shrugged his shoulders and looked down to the floor.

"Took their head off?"

"Ya. Maybe even just took off. Slim, I never bought anything I didn't have cash for tying myself down long term, like you have a loan on your ranch. I came from a world of owning nothing but my horse and the clothes I wore, family all fell apart or was no good, only person I could really trust was my mom and she was in worse condition than me in over her head with responsibilities shoved off on her, no education, all piled on with things she should've even been bothered with. 'At's all I ever knew of what family is about, clueless about business… she taught me to read and deal with what was in my face at the moment and get down the road. That was my happiness and security."

"So….?"

"Well, over these last few years you showed me another way, what is and can be a healthy family and all. You don't have a whole lot, more than most, but you offered everything you had, no conditions, just be honest and it's showed me where just wandering the big open was fun, but it was worthless and a waste. What you were putting your energy into made something of yourself and, well it's where I want to get to in my own life. Putting in with you and Andy, eventually be able to bring Mike into…. something I not only want, but I find more peace in doing it than laying on the ground every night with nothing to show. It's like fence posts one step further."

"Like stringing the wire in and making a pasture out of ….."

"Ya, making something useful out of the energy it takes to live."

"So, what's the problem, then?"

"Well, I don't know this type of life…I don't have the education you got." He waved at the attorney's office. "Josie's esquire was like blazing new trail. Not sure I did that part right, but we eventually got turned out ok. Was a lot more to it than herding cows on a drive. I just know what we've got between us is where I want worse than anything I've ever found but things I've tried to do in the past all ….well, they seem to fall apart at the last minute. Then I'm back to where I started only more empty …or..." his voice wavered and he looked down…. "beat up hurtin' somewheres, lost more than I had to start with. Looking back, when I got here and Andy latched on, all he wanted was a way out and all I could see was a life and home a kid like me only dreams of having. I'd convinced myself believing at my age it would never happen for me and I'd be on the big open my whole life. I'd settled in my head that was the way of it." His voice wavered and he briefly looked into Slim's face and waved his hand off in an open circle out into the air, "Never come this close before or this far, worked this hard just to get to this point. I DON'T WANT something to go wrong again at the last minute and LOSE THIS! Wasn't expectin' all that paper neither."

Slim didn't immediately respond seeing unusual moisture in Jess' eyes from how deeply Jess was speaking. So Jess looked at his face. There was just those few seconds of silence where their eyes met and read each other like long ago on Baxter Ridge and Slim could tell Jess was being honest. Jess' eyes were so wide open telling Slim how much he wanted this partnership, Slim's forehead elevated in realization of how deeply this meeting meant to Jess and his own eyes got misty and he frowned lightly. This was the cause of a sleepless night, not his snoring or the attorney. Then he squeezed the back of Jess' bicep in reassurance;

"Ya, I remember the feeling when my parents …and the weight of the ranch landed in the pit of my stomach, plus finding myself being more than just a brother to Andy and that one hit me harder 'cause I wasn't set to be a parent, yet. Jonesy did what he could, but he was, well…he was older than Pa, and the stage business never took off like we thought it would. It made a huge difference when you came in and started pulling your end of the load. Was a huge turning point for me…first time I really felt like I could get my head above water. It's a good feeling, Jess, making steps like you're doing and you've come a long ways getting here. I've been watching this esquire, though, and that conference room table is more squared away than a 1000 head trail drive. 'Sides, Chuck swears by him from back to his dad's day. I'm not seeing anything wrong, fact is, I'm quite impressed."

Jess seemed to loosen up some and Slim saw him breathe out, possibly even a hint of a smile in relief and hope, almost hearing a "ya?!" under his breath.

"Ok, then. Face a gunfight, I know how to read and handle them. I can read horses and cattle, but all them papers on that table, they jest sit there ain't one of them movin'. These suits are another breed."

Slim slipped shoulder to shoulder at right angle to Jess blocking any retreat or 'assault' from down the hall. Then he looked Jess squarely in the face.

"There is something needs to be done here before we go further."

Jess looked more solidly into Slim's face in a new worry and Slim eased him back with a brief lifted palm of his hand.

"Been looking for the right time and place to go into this, perhaps this is the best."

Jess shuffled on his feet looking like Slim was going to pull back away a step and things were really going to slip away AGAIN and his eyebrows furrowed. But Slim lifted his two fingers and touched Jess' wrist briefly trying to pull up an ounce on Jess' fidget reins…and Jess shifted his weight but held still.

"You know I realize all this new business we're getting into and all the potential growth the ranch is headed for all started with a poker game you won."

Jess fidgeted again and opened his mouth to say something but Slim cut him off.

"Just hear me out, Jess. How you won that game no longer concerns me because it had to be upright for this much business to prove out this long without falling apart, so I give you that win, no longer question you. I know you play an honest game. Skill or luck, doesn't so much matter this point. You won. Here's where I want to get to. More important I also realize those were your poker winnings and you were under no obligation to include me, or any Sherman dealing in your winnings of that poker game. Plus, in collecting on your winnings you pushed through the pain of that buckboard accident when it was me that drove off the embankment after you took two bullets saving my life. You could have pulled out at any time and gone solo with your own business arrangement or built your own ranch just next to mine….even with Josie's estate money had options. So somewheres along in this process I wanted to thank you for including me and Andy in your startup adventure here and just let you know I realize the cost you've been paying making all this come together hasn't come in just money. What we're signing in there came through a deep level of pain inside you, so I'm well aware of the cost you've been investing, Jess. I'm so glad Andy latched onto you back in the day. And I may have had more than you growing up, but Jess, I've never had a better man stand beside me." Slim put a hand on Jess shoulder and Jess dropped his gaze to the floor.

"I wouldn't have been in that poker game had you and Andy not hauled me in off the big open and showed me what a family's supposed to be….so you two've done some of your own investing in me. I know I've cost you pain and money. Wasn't your fault that rig broke neither. If your height and weight advantage couldn't have held that curve, no way I could've. It's the bushwhackers who drove the whole mess over that embankment. I think we need each other, Slim. You and Andy's property and my wrangling …. pretty dadgum good team. When it's right, there's no weapon can defeat it."

Jess seemed to take a breath and relax some, he whapped Slim on his lower back and grinned up at him.

"Shall we get back to the paper round up?" Slim offered pointing his thumb over Jess' shoulder.

"Ya. His coffee's almost as good as Maggie's."

Jess followed Slim back to the conference table like a puppy, even accepted the secretary's renewed coffee refill and he inhaled a small jelly doughnut whilst waiting for Chuck and Jr's return. Slim also noticed Jess' hair looked quite nicely tamed with no hat frame. Once they finished the paperwork and left the attorney's office, Jess seemed to calm down and relax and it was Slim who began breathing normally again because Jess did. When they'd finished the attorney stacked everything neatly into labeled file folders and put both Jess and Slim's copies into a brand new leather attaché case and one for Chuck. Jess latched onto and volunteered to carry his and Slim's case and Jr took his dads. Slim would have been amused at Jess latching onto business material of any kind, but from the look on Jess' face he wasn't even going to dare vying for it. Anybody who'd try to get those papers from Jess would have hell to pay, even in jest. They got to the buggy and Jr loaded Chuck's papers in a surprise concealed box hidden under the driver's seat and offered to load the one Jess was carrying. Jess hesitated fidgeting on his feet then looked at Slim who smiled reassuringly and then Jess handed it over to Jr to tuck away. He watched Jr then put a padlock on the latch and replaced a board that fit over the front of the seat hiding the latch. It was a concealed compartment, another Jr invention and Jess pointed to it for Slim to see and Slim nodded in agreement needing that for the stagecoaches. Jr decided he needed to get right back to Bessy so he could babysit and she could cook supper's celebration, so he didn't stay for the lunch at a restaurant he'd eaten at before. And unknown to either Slim or Jess, Maggie had pre-arranged that on the way to the restaurant for the promised heavenly lunch fixings that Chuck would drag Slim into a feed store. It was a made up errand to look at all the varieties and custom blended mixtures of feed that Chuck had worked out with the manager of the feed store so that Maggie could have a 'meeting' with Jess about his shopping detail of "thank you gifts" she was working.

Jess started to follow the men but Maggie dragged him back by his sleeve and they disappeared around a corner of the building. Jess was surprised until he saw Maggie's finger over her lips shushing him. She had stacked handfuls of rope handled shopping bags on each arm and as the group divided up he quickly reached in a gentlemanly manner to carry them for her. At first she was startled with someone pulling them from her hand and refused to turn loose and it almost went into a tug-o-war, then he offered the infamous Jess-smile and she remembered what he was doing offering to take her load like a gentleman. She smiled back somewhat embarrassed and let go taking his elbow as though he was the trophy and knew all along what he had been offering. What had taken both her hands to carry, Jess easily joined them into one of his mitts leaving his elbow free for her. The rope handles fit in one hand, but the bags fanned out making a decent sized sail billowing upside down at his knees. He also automatically loaded her on his inside elbow with the packages on the street side of himself placing her securely between himself and the buildings. That confused her, but it was the only elbow he'd left for her to grab, so she took it and then walked around him getting on the correct side of his body. Only once she was set did Jess start to walk…following where she led. Jess could instantly tell she did her shopping alone and probably a lot of other errands and, considering her affluent appearance and lady size frame, it didn't make him very happy. In his book, women should be properly escorted.

She led him to a small park off the front street and physically nudged him to sit down backing him onto a bench where his bum plopped down. Then she began pulling out the items she had purchased on her expedition for his "thank you gift" shopping list he'd requested her help with. She became quite animated standing in front of the seated Jess as she went through her shopping treasures for his approvals. Some of the bags were for herself, some were for Jess. The more she showed him the more Jess seemed almost entertained at her happiness and trying to keep up with her delight as she rifled through her findings somehow knowing where things were in different bags. As his thanks to Daisy for her nursing care of him during the buckboard accident, Maggie had found a very lacy, medium weight knitted shawl for Daisy to wear to church. It was in a cream color with a frilly lilac colored tatted edging and she demonstrated on herself quickly how it could be used it in summer as a wrap or in cooler weather as a scarf. She also had found a small jewelry box that was silver plated they wrapped in the shawl and secured in a tissue like gift wrap. That was then wrapped in brown paper and hung in the drawstring brown flour sack for Jess' secret transport and tucked back inside the paper shopping bag for Maggie's disguising them. That alone condensed 4 shopping bags, but Maggie neatly folded the spare bags and tucked them inside her shopping bags. Inside the jewelry box was a matching drawstring bag in the same colors as the shawl. Jess was thrilled nodding his head and smiling, sometimes nose diving into the shopping bag just ahead of her and she'd gently lift his chin with a fingertip to pull him out of wrong sacks and he shrug his shoulders with a sheepish grin. One time he even blushed because inside one of the bags he'd stuck his nose into contained ladies undergarments way too small for Daisy, but she'd said nothing not wanting to embarrass him. Maggie sat down beside him very closely almost in his lap and he shifted his legs slightly out of her way but she skootched closer yet wanting to use his lap as a table surface. Once he figured out her intent for a table he just flatted both hands out side by side on top his lap for her to use. She began unwrapping several layers on a knife she'd found. It was a 3 ½" folding pocket knife with the body made of stainless steel and had two blades and the entire knife was made from Japanese steel. She explained the knife had been custom ordered and imported by another customer who had then failed to be able to pay for it by the time it had finally arrived and needed a refund instead of delivery. Maggie had wrangled one heck of a deal from the shop owner who just wanted to recoup his cost he'd had to refund. It was so tight she had difficulty opening and closing it and Jess gently took it and did so inspecting it closely and handed it back to her in the little box while nodding his head in approval. She promised to gift wrap it back at the ranch since Jess approved and would have it ready by suppertime. She stood back up for Mike's gifts demonstrating them, too. She had bought a child size set of chaps made from faux suede that had been rolled up tight and it had optional cut off marks to shorten them to size. She found a child size set of fat nubby spurs she nearly fell over trying to show them on her shoes but Jess caught and steadied her at the elbow. She also purchased a child sized bi-fold billfold so that Mike could be taught budgeting and with the multiple gifts Jess would have a stock pile for birthday and Christmas. Then she dug into her own drawstring handbag and began to give Jess back 1 of his 3 $100 dollar bills and a several handfuls of change and he was stunned to get any money back. As he began to see the volume of coins coming back at him he tried to get Maggie to accept all of the left over money as wages for all her work and they were shoving hands back and forth for a few moments. But she absolutely refused while giggling and flying high to have been part of the conspiracy and having Jess' trust as his designated shopper. He finally relented when she pulled a "mother attitude" and while he was busy filling up one pocket then the next with the assorted change repeating several pockets trying to level out the weight load, she tried to reassure Jess patting him on the chest that he really did know what to get his people he just needed to trust his judgement. All she did was source the items for him as any good female worth her weight could do and had she had more time could have found more. Everything she had purchased was perfect and seated side by side Jess bent her half way over sideways and gave her a big, long hug from the side and a huge smooched kiss on her cheek. Jess was so touched by her efforts and attitude of happiness he was speechless and she saw his blue eyes deepen in mistiness and it melted her and she hugged him back reassuring him that being so thoughtful to say thank you to his caretakers was a noble and proper thing to do.

They were 5 minutes late re-meeting up with Chuck and Slim at the designated favored restaurant because Jess had to re-composed his self and they arrived hand in hand with Jess loaded down with all her shopping bags now condensed easily contained still in one of his giant mitts, but not so fanned out and flying in the wind. He was a bit awkward at the restaurant circling near their table not knowing what to do with them while they were being seated at the table, but she read that, too. She had him stuff them all in her usual place on the ledge in the bay window their favorite table was butted up to. Then he held her seat as she landed beside Chuck as though nothing was going on but her having had her standard fun shopping adventure and Jess had volunteered to carry her bounty. After they had ordered, Maggie excused herself to use the ladies room out back and "wash her hands" and she made the mistake of leaving her drawstring purse within Jess' reach on the ledge of the bay window. While she was gone and after looking the direction she left to make sure she couldn't see, below the sight line of the table with sleight of hand and without looking into the purse, he slipped the 3rd $100 dollar bill from his inside shirt pocket back down through the hole at the top of the purse. Then he wiggled it to the bottom of whatever else was in the bag making sure it was deep in the purse and out of sight. Slim noticed a movement and had asked if everything was ok and Jess simply shrugged and said he thought one of the shopping bags was slipping off the ledge and he was re-securing it.

Chuck paid for their meals which was a large salad for Maggie that had several types of cold meat on it and huge hot gourmet sandwiches for the men with heaping servings of hot potato salad for Chuck and Slim while Jess' sandwich had some kind of bean side dish. During the meal Maggie had snuck a few forkfuls of sandwich spillage off his plate from Chuck's sandwich supplementing her salad. Then she hesitated with her fork lifted being curious about the one Jess was working on that was a selection that obviously Chuck never ventured into. When he'd ordered, Jess had called it by some complicated Mexican name Slim couldn't even spell. So Jess left some generous samples on his plate and whilst watching Chuck talking about cattle, he slowly edged the plate closer to the middle of the table and smiled at her eye contact. She drew one corner of her mouth back and her fork wavered midair as she looked pitifully back at Jess. So he rechecked his plate, then rolled his eyes and casually took his unused knife and separated the samples into smaller bite sizes as if playing with his food. Chuck never noticed, but Maggie smiled broadly, almost like a playful little girl, and while Chuck was busy talking, she helped herself quickly finishing all of them in several bites. Slim smiled but he was too far away to join the private taste testing party plus it was a Mexican themed restaurant and he figured he was out of his element. Quietly and from behind his huge hands resting near his chin Jess mentioned the word "smoked salt" as she was chewing and she shook her head, swallowed lightly and from behind her fork she whispered back, "liquid smoke and poblano peppers." Jess raised his head and nodded ever so slightly in agreement and mumbled, "tasty." Chuck was in his own world discussing cattle, breeding methods, branding or feed mixtures and most of the lunch conversation was one-sided.

Determined to not jingle and jangle on Traveler during the trip back Jess insisted on leaving the tip. He began emptying most of his loaded pockets of the mounds of various denomination coins he'd gotten back from Maggie. He wasn't counting them either. He was unloading bulk and weight for what he deemed was his next worthy cause, helping working women with expenses, especially ones he didn't personally know who'd be less inclined to miss-assume he'd be volunteering for full time assignment. He just seemed to understand if a woman was working, then she wasn't being properly supported by a man in her life and he could safely provide help anonymously through generous tips without showing any personal commitment threatening his bachelor status or be misunderstood as exchange for their um…personal services. As they headed for the door the waitress who came back to clean the table was shocked and started after them concerned that they had left too much. But being typical, Jess was also last one out via holding the door, and loaded with the shopping bags and he winked at her as he left. The waitress ran after him just outside the door caught him by his sleeve and she was crying and speaking very fast in some kind of Mexican dialect of Spanish Slim couldn't understand but ended in "Gracious, Senor, Gracious!" And she pulled Jess down with his sleeve and kissed his cheek, then ran back into the restaurant still spewing Mexican words and hugging her hands full of coins. Maggie was on Chuck's elbow with Slim tagging between them. Watching the commotion, Chuck commented to Slim about Jess having some effect on yet another woman and Slim shook his head 'no.' Jess joined them still looking back at the restaurant almost running them over before he stopped and mentioned his Mexican was rusty but it was something about her child. Maggie interpreted that the waitress said she had five kids and her husband had been hauled off to Mexico three months ago and she wasn't sure she'd ever see him again; that one of the kids was a sick baby and now she could buy food to add to the leftovers she'd take home every day plus take the baby to a doctor. Jess and Slim looked sheepishly at each other, then without hesitation and alternating hands with the packages Jess dug around his pockets some more for the remaining coin load and forced the rest of his coins into Slim's hands asking him to go take them to the waitress because he didn't want the waitress to get the wrong idea. Slim was reluctant, first because it was Jess' money he should get the gratitude, then secondly, because checking his pockets he didn't have but about 3 coins on him to add. Chuck pulled out some coins from his pocket and added them to Slim's handfuls and waved him back to the restaurant. Maggie suspended Slim momentarily and dove into her extra folded empty shopping bag stash and found a small bag and they dumped all the change into that, replaced the bag into Slim's hands and then pushed him back toward the door telling him to be brave. A few moments later, the door swung open hitting the wall and Slim was hurrying out of the restaurant looking over his shoulder and with the now sobbing waitress chasing him in gratitude still in her Mexican dialect. But her short legs were no match to his daddy long legs and he quickly outpaced her. As Chuck assisted getting Maggie into the buggy, Jess checked the lock on the front of the seat bench then secured the rest of the packages in the back of the buggy but he was still looking back at the restaurant with a very sad face. Maggie touched his hand that was resting on the side of the buggy and asked what was wrong, it was a very generous thing he did. Jess moved to mount Traveler and mumbled, "that was my mother 15 years ago" and Maggie's head tilted to the side and she frowned in empathy. Trying to cheer him Maggie quickly offered, "She'd be so proud of you, Jess." But Jess looked away and took a strong pull turning Traveler off the rail and Traveler's bum dug deep in answer to a determined yet soft spur with Slim quickly hoping aboard Buck to catch up.

They had a pleasant drive home settling into a nice pace and finally enjoying the fall scenery and the cooler fall air. Maggie talked non-stop the entire trip only Chuck could hear, but his eyes were glazed over and he'd nod once in a while. Jess and Slim figured he'd tuned her out but was thoroughly enjoying his wife's delight at an adventure to town and having the love of his life laughing and snuggled under his elbow. Chucks eyes were glowing though, watching Jess and Slim riding their horses and thrilled to have nailed down and come into business with the little kid from Texas that had stolen his heart at 5 years old, now a grown man with a great partner. Jess saw them and nodded to Slim to look mentioning how nice it was to see a husband and wife happy just being together and a life time of choices that had made that possible. Slim acknowledged it was a 'rare thing' quizzically looking at Jess who'd noticed something like that twice in the same day, was something Slim had known with his parents, so it must have been a rare thing for Jess for him to pick it out, again.

Arriving at the ranch by early evening Jess helped Chuck unload the secret compartment and Slim helped Maggie carry in all her packages. Again Maggie seemed surprised getting male assistance but was cheery and grateful while hanging on Slim's elbow and holding the door for him whilst a ranch hand gathered the buggy and horses and took them to the barn. Bess and Ada had appetizers of every cuisine known to modern 1800's man covering the kitchen island. Some of them were known to 1800's men but that didn't mean Slim or Jess knew about them and some of them purely fascinated the two men who thoroughly perused the island exploring all the options, intrigued by tiny sandwiches with no crust. For the main meal the ladies had fixed piping hot smoked beef brisket that fell apart more than being pulled, beef short ribs that fell off the bones and a very large, lean prime rib smoked rare and cut into 2" thick servings as options on the buffet. The prime rib was so tender it was cut on the plate by a fork. All of it Wentworth beef. Everyone sat down on time at straight up 7pm along with all the fixin's, wine and later around the fireplace with bourbon chasers accompanying a peach cobbler. When Jess and Slim had gotten to the buffet, picked up their plates they stared at each other wide eyed at the amount of food and the quality of preparation. Jess picked up his plate and Slim was behind him, but seeing the buffet, Jess peeled around the group to get at the rear of the line. When questioned, he told them he'd clean up whatever they didn't want, but in fact was afraid he'd take too much and others would be shorted, so going to the end of the line was safer for them. He'd never seen so much food fixed so enticingly before. Slim followed Jess stating the same thing and Chuck was too hungry to complain and he pushed Jr through ahead of him. There was still too much food when Jess and Slim got to the meats, both overstuffed their plates regretting it later with over full stomachs and both had to loosen their belt buckles before standing up after supper. Jr and Chuck weren't too far behind Slim and Jess for over filling their plates. Jr's family pulled off after the dishes were cleaned up.

By the time Jess and Slim reached their bedrooms around 11 pm they were exhausted and somewhat woozy from all the eating and celebrating. They staggered into Slim's bedroom and both were still over full and pulling off string ties, coats and boots,,. Jess tossing his into his room. Their belts and top button of their jeans were already unhitched without being removed from loops. Sasha was waddling instead of swishing, had been following Jess around the house and she went right to the bed. But she had to use the side chair to loft herself into the bed, scratched up the pillow enough to just pull back the quilted bedspread and unceremoniously flopped down like a puppy without even making one circle. Once on the pillow though, she spent a good five minutes cleaning her face off with her front paws before finally slipping into sleep.

Jess plopped down in the fainting lounge chair on the far side of Slim's bed groaning an "oh dadgum" under his breath his eyes closed in delightful misery. His body promptly oozed in slow motion into a melted version as though his skin was being released from a tight corset to allow room for processing all the food he'd packed inside. Slim flopped spread eagle on his back taking up the entire bed moaning,

"I have died and gone to heaven. I thought Daisy was a good cook, but that meal was better food than I have ever tasted!"

As he laid back a small, gift wrapped packaged box slid down from near the head pillow into the indention his head made and came to a stop near his ear and he reached up and took it in his hand peering at it trying to focus.

"What's this?"

"Looks like a gift to me." Jess moaned his eyes were still closed but now covered by one hand.

Slim couldn't focus on the writing and with some effort had to roll half way over and use the side of the bed to pull his self onto his side to sit up on the edge of the bed. It took two pulls to get back to a seated position and the movement pushed a massive eastern compliment up his gullet. A very generous one and in delayed action he covered his mouth and mumbled an "oh, excuse me."

"I can't read this…" he laughed out loud and adding through bleary eyes, "..too much bourbon. Doggone, Jess, I couldn't eat one more bite…never seen so much food. An' that is without a doubt the best beef I have ever tasted!"

Jess groaned in a tortured, deep voice his right hand lightly resting on top his stomach, then he whined in a deep rasp;

"Itsa... pure sin ta offer a man both prime rib smoked rare AND pulled ribs all in the same meal!" He groaned another 'dadgum' under his breath with a pinched face and continued…

"Ta make a man hafta choose..…pure torment….. especially …. us bachelors." Jess dropped his head back on the chair back but that stretched the tummy too far and he grimaced and had to pull back up. "Beef was... …just melted." His right hand was now softly massaging the right side of his ribs trying to gently angle the weighted stomach contents… somewhere and a small burp surfaced quietly.

Slim chuckled very lightly, "You mean something finally filled you up?"

Jess ignored the dig with a "what do you expect" look on his face.

"Three meats cooked like 'at? Should'a taken less deessert. Both legs are packed all the way up to my nose. Dadgum, Slim, never knew food could taste that good! Beef was so tender it melted, like I wasn't chewing or nothing." Then he moaned and squinted at Slim, "Purely melted in my mouth before I could chew! How can a man gauge what he's put away when there's no chewing!? What'd they call that white stuff we put on the prime rib anyway?"

" 'ey said 't's called um….horse- something. Horse radish?" They looked at each other puzzled, then grinned, then laughed. Slim finished their thoughts, "Don't ask me…ain't got a clue. Maggie described them as small white balls. Oysters is the beef ones, right?" He looked over a Jess who appeared passed out.

Slim shook his head side to side. "I don even wanna know!" as though it was something that actually came out of or off a horse or was unknown parts of that horse and definitely unaware it was a vegetable root.

"Some Mexicans served me menudo once, was clueless what that was, too." Jess chuckled lightly at an old memory. "Was a kid, hadn't eaten in days and my stomach was so daggum caved in it literally hurt….woulda ate anything, even dirt." Jess groaned again and his eyes were closed. "Threw up my boots… came back up before it'd even landed in my stomach." His right hand's fingertips were lightly tracing some ambiguous pattern on his stomach in memory of retching so hard. "Felt like everything got turned inside out on the way back up…burned every inch coming back, too." He screwed up his face and drew a circle covering his mouth and nose area while looking at Slim, "worse…parts of it came through my nose. Dadgum did that ever burn!"

Slim and Jess both talked at the same time, "What's menuu….?" "Talk about fire! Never again, either, once I found out…huh?"

"What is it?" Slim was curious.

Jess thought a moment but didn't want to disturb Slim's palette and cause nausea and tried to wave him off. "Don… ask."

"I'm serious, Jess. What…?" Slim was intrigued. To his experience Jess ate everything, tried anything offered.

Jess shook his head and looked sideways at Slim. "Ok, but …." He pointed two fingers at Slim without looking at him, "…you asked."

He took in as deep a breath he could squeeze in, "Beef guts and pig trotters." He blurted out.

Slim turned green at the gills and looked ready to …. "Beef gu…..and…..ppi….what?"

"Trotters. You know, the feet parts." He gestured the size between two hands that was 6".

"What the pig hoof, beef ga…?"

"Ya. Well, no. Mostly the soft part between …all of it, debone the innards of the hoof parts… either the spice or the length of time cooking…mostly falls apart. Some of 'em pull the hard hoof out before they eat, others jest eat the whole shebang. Hard part of the hoof crumbles, gives it crunch. They make this spicy soup brew trying to cover up what it is they're cooking but yup, intestines and fee…. Cut up into square cubes. You know beef guts when you open them up on the inside look like squishy sponges from dirty bath water and pigs live in their crap, hafta live covered in mud so's they don't blow up in the heat. Garbage…down south, everything NOT eatable … goes to the ….pi…ggy…. Feet… onest the inside part is cooked, they're still squishy, too. Squishy and spongey…." Jess peeked a look through his hands checking something he heard in Slim's quivering voice.

Using exaggerated movements Slim waved him quiet….still green at the edges. "Ya…ok…ok…I got it."

"No you don got nor want it got. But that horse radish stuff sure tasted good though." Jess shook his head watching Slim holding his chest to keep from heaving. Jess' face barely smiled but sitting back into the couch peeking through his fingers watching Slim weave he added innocently, "Ought to put some radish in a stew. Isn't a radish a vegetable?...thought a radish was a vegg or root…"

Somewhere in Slim's future, menudo in some form or another would be in the payback from the morning bathroom prank…..Jess had his seed….he just needed to source some pranky pig's parts for his plan, or a deer….you know their feet look pretty close alike especially if covered in mucky looking food ingredients. Mort had pigs…..hmmm. Jess covered his eyes with his fingers rubbing them in tiredness, but there was a kooky grin hiding under the shadow of his hand….wondering if Maggie knew where to find sponges. He'd seen those nasty brown crinkly edged sponges in a bath house somewhere on the big open. Yep, he'd need to chat with Maggie tomorrow. Daisy'd have some old stew somewhere he could doctor up…just the sight should be enough with a couple plops of really ripe pasture ingredients. The half grin smirk got wider.

Slim was finally able to swallow again and trying to redirect his thoughts the gift reemerged from his hand. He tried again to read the tag on his gift this time playing trombone slide moving it closer and farther away trying to get the focus.

"Hey, it says is from you."

"Ya but before you open it, you gotta give me a penny."

Slim started digging in his pocket but all he could come up with was a two bit piece and he tossed it to Jess who easily caught it because he was less soused.

"Here. It's the only thing I got on me. Keep the change."

"Gee, thanks." Jess took the coin and without looking at it dropped it into Slim's open luggage bag sitting on the floor next to the chair. To his knowledge any coin paid the custom off and he donated the "change" back to Slim.

Weaving slightly side to side on the bed Slim asked turning it over and over suspiciously his speech slurred, "Now can I open it? It's not gunna bite me, is it?"

"It could. Be careful." Jess was amused but wondering if Slim was too drunk to appreciate the gift.

" 't's not my birth…" Slim burped quietly but it was a long one and he rubbed his chest with a muttered, "Dadgum" and heaved a sigh in relief of some pressure, "…day. What'sit for?"

"Just something to remember our official partnership today."

Slim fumbled with it but it was too tightly wrapped so Jess inched his way to the edge of the couch to get up and started digging in his pocket for his knife…moaning under his breath and holding his ribs…. His head was beginning to ache, too, and the head ache part was coming on fast and like a freight train….may have misgauged the amount of alcohol as well.

"Maybe you need a knife." Jess dropped a hint but Slim was too far gone to catch it.

"No…hey, I got one." Slim held a wobbly finger in the air then dug for his and pulled out the battered rusty one he normally carried, but it slipped from his fingers and fell on the floor. He was too woozy to lean over and retrieve it and just stared at it on the floor knowing if he leaned forward his stomach ….. well, it just wasn't a good idea to tip over an overfilled container, not even sure he could get bent over his stuffed gut.

"Ah…oh…" He stared sadly at it on the floor shaking his head.

"Here, hold it out." Jess motioned for him to hold the gift still and Slim held it out but his hand was trembling from the booze. So Jess grabbed his hand, blinked hard a few times to focus, aimed carefully to cut the ribbon and the wrapping started to fall away. He folded his knife returning it to his pocket and eased himself gently back down on the chair with another groan happy with his success at a remarkable achievement. The wrapping fell away and the little box holding the gift separated in Slim's fumbling and he caught the shiny steel object and seemed to sober up slightly.

"Jess! This is a ….. it's beautiful. Look at that! I've never had a brand new knife before. Pa always gave me his used ones when he'd buy a new one. By the time he'd do that, the old ones were falling apart. Never had extra money to buy one myself. Jess! I..it's…." Slim's face was lit up with delight as he looked back and forth between the knife and Jess.

"The case is steel, too. Should hold up better than those plastic ones." Jess coached because he knew Slim's vision was beyond reading fine print at this stage. And not being one to miss an opportunity to claim extra gold stars for making it a special order added, "And it's a special order imported from Japan. One of a kind, too. You know Japanese steel holds it edge."

"Yah, I've heard …. but never actually seen one." Slim looked quickly at Jess with a happy face like someone had just paid 3 months mortgage payments on the ranch, then back to the knife.

"Be careful, it's sharp." Jess smiled lightly quite happy to see it hefty enough to nicely fit Slim's long but slender fingers.

Slim seemed to sober up and began inspecting the knife, carefully pulling the two blades out, testing them on the hair on his forearm, not that he could actually see the blond hair falling. He opened …. or even see the hair on his forearms…and closed the blades several times finding the operation firm but smooth.

"Dadgum, Jess. This is the nicest thing anyone's ever given me. 'At had to have set you back some." He looked down at it then held it up eye level in better light now fighting mistiness, "Just look at that. Nice and sleek, it'll fit great in my pocket, too. Not bulky. Thanks, Pard!" He looked somberly at Jess with a pout, "But I didn't get you anything."

"Sure you did."

"No I didn't. What do you mean?" Between the heavy protein and carbohydrate food and the alcohol, the fog was quickly re-descending on Slim's fuzzy brain.

"Slim, I've never owned anything that was truly mine but my horse, my gear, what I wore and a change of clothes. Folks were dirt poor and never owned anything but handed down clothes. I'd find odd jobs try to help and gave my ma everything I earned but we still lived on thin soup and bread. My ma would keep poking holes in the belt I wore 'cause I was so thin my britches wouldn't stay up. I remember the morning before she was….. was the last conversation we…..we'd just loaded the line with the baby's diapers to dry, they were so thin you could see through them and I was whining about having got my hands dirty washing them and about not having things. She never complained or never once said anything bad about anybody. Well, she sat down on the back porch steps and pulled me between her knees so's she could keep pulling my chin outta the dirt with her finger and look me in the eyes. Said, 'Jess, measure of a man is not in what he owns but how he lives his life, what he does and doesn't do. It's who he helps, that he fights for what is truth and never gives up until he's done his best at what's in front of him. When he puts his head on the pillow at night he knows he's put it all in there and doesn't need to apologize to nobody.'." Jess paused to look over at Slim who was leaning back on his arms on the bed but attentive. "I may have been only 15 and uneducated, but 'at told me right then why she could live in such a shabby world and be so satisfied and I loved her twice again as much 'cause she lived what she preached. Made my mind up if I never had two coins to put together and died early, I wanted to be like her. She had nothing but was the wealthiest woman I'd known. Her wealth was not money and things, but love. The kind of love that loves truthfully when you own nothing and everyone else is using you up."

"Sounds like someone you'd want to know." Slim mumbled but was disappointed in himself he couldn't think of something more appropriate. He sat up over onto one elbow still trying to find a comfortable position for an overfull stomach.

"Wanting to be like her and actually being able to do it, 't's two different things. When she was so brutally …. took whatever love may have been in me….with her. My family, whatever much it was not, was gone. Everything they owned disappeared into the smoke. She was my foundation… was gone. I had nothing left but anger and a 15 year old's stupidity. Getting into the war was not even a decision, it was destiny and the first part of that only enabled the anger. Hallack's solitary confinement was the bottom of the pit. When the war was gone there was nothing left but the wide open and doing what Jess Harper wanted. Most of the time that got me into more trouble. Had a couple business opportunities but those men never proved out to their word. I ended up beat up or shot, hurt, more broke and confused how my mom could have ever loved anyone. Everyone I tried to help or love like she wanted me to do, even people I didn't know, turned on me."

It was Jess' turn to shift positions and he pulled himself to his feet, circled the lounge chair uneasy opening up that much dirt about himself his right hand making a fist and opening, then plopped back down sitting on the edge of the chair and twiddled with his thumb nails. He looked between Slim's face and the floor and tried to wrap up his thoughts before Slim passed out, gestured a circle in midair.

"Then Andy nabbed me. You're the only man who's ever come all the way. Show'd me what a real family is or can be when I'd never even seen that before neither. You may not have the wealth of the Wentworths or fancy this or that, but everything you did own you opened to me including your heart. More than anything else, you were true, like a gun that's sighted perfectly, or….." Jess hesitated not wanting to demean Slim with comparing him to a woman…but, "….well like my ma had been. You know in what rules she lived by proving what she preached was possible, meaning I could do it, too. Man can't expect more than that. You managed to get me off the wide open road of destruction and keep me off, help me put down some fence posts, gave me a place to belong. You never gave up on me, Slim, even when I made all those mistakes. I've seen and learned things from you I never knew before and you proved out my ma's words. Now, actually got to put everything I am out there and got my name official on land and a business and all done from my own hands and every bit is leegit… nobody died, or cheated. Dadgum! What's a pocket knife when I have more now with what's between us than I never had with nobody else." He paused and looked at the floor for a moment. "Soon as I find a guy who can engrave it, I'll have your name put on it."

Slim was stunned in silence and as foggy as his mind was he could see that yes, Jess was full of fine eating, but perhaps more so, he was full inside his self emotionally from having made the achievements this day brought into reality inside him. He brought the knife from the grip of his other hand and turned it over several times fighting off tears. It was a very nice, weighty in quality knife and knew it had cost some money, yet the money wasn't the purchase. It had truly come from Jess' heart as a gift he knew no other way of giving back to express what it meant to Jess to have achieved the goals he had captured today. He was giving Slim something Slim or his family had never provided, a brand new knife….and a high quality one he'd have bought for himself but gave it as a gift instead.

"Wow, can't get a higher compliment than your ma, Jess. And I'm gunna get the engraving and it'll have both our names on it, maybe our brand. This one will be the first piece I own that's worth anything and it will be a legacy item I can pass down to my kids. I…just don't know what to say."

"Ya, well, just don't kick me outta the bathroom in my birthday suit again….'at's all I ask." Jess puffed in a mock pout gesturing toward the bathroom down the hall.

Jess struggled to his feet finding his own eyesight drifting into oblivion and he pulled the rest of his shirt tail out while he weaved through the room unbuttoning it. This time standing up he had to put his hands on the door jamb to aim at the doorway to his bedroom to steer himself through it. At the last moment feeling very full and fluffy, even fat from all the food he'd eaten, he paused from unbuttoning his shirt to turned himself sideways pulling his tummy in with his hand just being sure to fit through the door. The doorway was normal size, but Jess felt so extra full he wasn't sure he'd clear what his vision was telling him…. and the room was beginning to spin pretty daggone fast. Slim started laughing to himself about the morning joke,

"You sure did look all funny…shoulda seen your face. But dadgum, Jess, certain needs take preceedence over hair and you'd already been in there for half a week. By the way, it looked fine all day…..better than usual, actually." He was mumbling to himself.

He was not getting any response so he slowly pulled himself to his feet and looked into Jess' room finding the shirt and pants thrown across the foot of the bed, one pant leg dangling overboard. Jess looked like he'd walked out of his clothes and then crash landed not quite straight in the bed and then flipped over belly up was on his back with the farthest leg bent at the knee and flopped open leaving extra space for the stomach's needed expanse. The bedding was half flipped over his body haphazardly with his head on the pillow next to Sasha's tummy and her head snuggled between his hair and his hand as her pillow. Her nose was just a whisker away from his forehead. They were both passed out from a food stupor.

"You changed my life, too, Jess. For a fiddle-foot, you sure have some kind of stick and more integrity than anyone I've ever met. I guess Andy just knew better'n me quicker." He turned back around and began peeling his clothes off, but as he walked back to his bed he did a 360 and went by way of the um….indoor shower room for a last minute tank empty in desperate search for any available space inside his body where supper celebrations could ease. Jess was right, three smoked prime beef selections on one buffet was just way too much temptation for a poor bachelor… …. but oh…it was SO good! It was impossible to gauge how much one has eaten when you don't chew. Him and Jess coulda eaten that entire prime rib just between them….…it just dissolved in one's mouth. Slim shook his head very softly and unconsciously licked his lips wiping his hand across them, didn't even chew….melted, liquefied, dissolved …pure mother's milk… could just latch onto those bites and drift to sleep.

CHAPTER 2 Full Speed Ahead Growing Pains for a better Laramie

The next day was spent putting supplies and a final plan together and Jess and Slim pulled out fully loaded to return to Laramie two days later with Jr, half of his cowboys, the trail drive chuck wagon loaded with cowboy personal gear and food to supplement a steer Slim planned on providing. If there was a land management project on order, or a cattle drive, Jr knew how to put equipment, men and resources together and he was equipped out the caboose with all the latest tools. Slim and Jess both had a huge laugh when the gathered wranglers tried to convince them that Jr was known for his mechanical penchant. If it even smelled like a tool, Jr had to have it. It was his weakness and they'd gotten him several times in poker games over some tool he'd be drooling over, or some huge piece of equipment he'd dreamed up and was trying to build in his back yard. There were 5 large buckboards loaded with fencing materials, 2 more were on order standing by waiting from Elroy's ranch ready to fall in and several containing the Wentworth's up to the latest modern construction tools for buildings, fences and for maintaining roads. Each buckboard was a crew and equipment for building fences to be assigned to specific sections and they'd follow Jr to assigned areas. He'd taught them how to read his survey flags and know right down to which timber or pole and the line for the pasture and roads. Another wheeled unit hooked up to heavy horses looked like it could cut roads but neither Jess nor Slim knew what it was. Jr said it would fix the embankment where the buckboard had taken flight and it could carve dirt like a knife could carve through his Mom's ribeye steak. The team of heavy horses would alternate moving equipment and returning with loads of cleaned timber ready for use. There were wranglers outfitting their steeds for the next adventure and a sixth buckboard contained what Jr called survey equipment. The whole drive lane looked like a dadgum wagon train headed north instead of west.

The oil testing company was lined up to arrive at the week to do core sampling over an entire mile section around the first pool Jess had found, um….well had landed on at the bottom of the embankment with the wagon load of fencing on top of him. A pump rig was ordered and on stand by for delivery if or when a well gushed. Jr was so positive they'd hit oil, he'd convinced Chuck to order the pump. It was planned to have the new "high 20" perimeter platted and fenced for pasture by Thanksgiving ready for the early yearlings to be transferred before heavy snow fell. Then they could be ready for separating the new crop of calves in the spring needed before the ground thawed and more fencing could be completed if needed to divide larger pastures done now. Jr worked "daylight shifts" which meant if there was daylight, you worked. Long summer hours and short winter days you worked as long as the sun was out. If the weather was bad, you worked indoors on equipment and tack maintenance. His men didn't mind staying more inside during the cold winters, generally working on inside chores such as inventory, cleaning and sharpening tools, fixing tack, etc., that Jr had planned in his management style. When Chuck Wentworth entered a deal, his whole empire became committed without holding anything back.

The morning of their departure for Laramie sitting astride their steeds Slim and Jess pulled aside pausing to survey the entire scene and looked at the lined up resources in awe. They exchanged glances not wondering so much anymore how this man could accomplish anything. He'd built his self a city of resources and he controlled their quality and execution, Katy bar the door. A project that would take Slim and Jess weeks, no months to accomplish, this man could get done in days or weeks. Chuck gave them the visual short version of his lesson on "Networking for Success" which was his guide for life in that it's who you know that causes growth and success comes from everyone sharing resources to make the job achievable beyond just joining cattle drives. Success is in investing and building other people's businesses and joining with them and was why he'd been able to achieve what he'd built. Slim still couldn't believe this all started from a poker game Jess won. Jess was just fidgeting like a little boy sitting on top of Traveler grinning ear to ear and had the happiest look of hope in his eyes Slim had never seen before and it caused Slim to pause while enjoying Jess' happiness. When Jess wasn't looking, Slim turned away and had to wipe his eyes on the bottom of his palms. He didn't know which was affecting him more, the hope in Jess' eyes at seeing something finally healthy and lawful burgeoning from his efforts, or realizing himself he was on the verge of seeing his dad's dream of a self-sufficient cattle operation beginning to materialize. As planned it would turn the Sherman ranch from a rundown barely functioning cattle business supplemented by the aging stage business into the crucial pivot point for not only their burgeoning cattle business with Jess' new Wentworth herd but for Chuck and Junior's cattle pasturing and processing out through the incoming railhead in Laramie. Suddenly the old homestead was taking on new value and becoming a crossroad to profits and Slim's heart was overflowing in happiness. Jess caught the motion not knowing exactly what it was and quickly asked Slim if he was ok. Slim blamed it on a bug that flew into his eye silently justifying it to himself as a bug of success. It became pretty drippy because a big, real bug did make it through his hands and Slim smothered a curse and was fixing to pull his bandana off his neck when Jess' bandana flew into his hands…..bug or a wayward eyelash.

The near term goal was to grow the Sherman-Harper Ranch into the headquarters for upland pasturing for weanlings and for holding pens bringing in off-site pastured stock as the railroad became laid into the anticipated Laramie railhead. It would make the new purchased property at the south end of the Laramie section of the joint enterprises as the main site to handle the combined ranches' cattle "graze through pasture land" headed for distribution departure through to the railroad expected to be operating by that time, hopefully within the year. It was hoped the long strenuous cattle drives to fulfill Chuck's long standing beef contracts would be replaced by transporting through the railroads and preserve the weight on the hoof for better profits. The Sherman homestead became a crucial hub for even developing more cattle contracts further away through the railhead. Chuck finally had shared this was a big reason he was so thrilled getting into business with a Laramie-area rancher who could expand with him and HIS bonus was having found Jess again plus gaining Jess' pard, Slim with whom he was equally impressed. Chuck had a special cattle breeding system that resulted in extra tender lean beef and he wanted to expand into the promotion of "high country, grass fed cattle" and the Sherman Ranch and new purchased sections would serve both as that grass fed beef plus it was done closer to the incoming railhead so there would be less weight loss during delivery. Or "pampered beef" to use Maggie's definition in plain English and she kept teasing Chuck in a respectful way of opening a pedicure spa for the cattle for polishing prior to sending them off. Everyone wanted to get the kinks worked out of their new system before the railroad actually got settled in and anticipated that the Overland Stage business would drop off quickly once the rails opened. Chuck didn't want to waste time trying to prepare after the railroad committed. He wanted to be fully functioning the day that last spike was driven and his goal was to load their beef on the first stock cars that left Laramie. Slim and Jess didn't want to experience the loss of income during the transition from stage to railroad. They couldn't afford any loss of income and needed to have the new business up and running before it grabbed hold and took off causing the stage business to drop off the cliff in source of income. Jess never asked and Slim never told anyone how many times he'd almost lost his dad's ranch due to lack of funds, how many times he'd taken extra mortgages on the property and then lost countless night's sleep worried because the stage income struggled to keep up with just providing feed, animal and human. Chuck would initially own, finance, section and fence the new "'high 20" and pasture his cattle for the first few years. As Slim and Jess' herd production increased off of their poker- won Wentworth beef herd, they would take over the pasture and have first buy out option off of Chuck who would then lease the pasture back from Slim and Jess. Chuck had told Slim that Jr came back from his first visit reporting he'd never seen better pasture than the "high 20" and had wished they'd have found the property first.

Eventually, as profits began to build, the original Sherman house would be reworked into a smaller version of the DKBS to handle a sub-headquarters operation for the railroad business Chuck termed as "fulfillment" at the railhead in Laramie. He also suggested using the Sherman house with the lake view, once remodeled, as a business sight for conferences and meetings with cattle associations and with railroad businesses in working new contracts for beef sales and then transportation. They expected the railroad to make a big change in business once it reached Laramie, but none of them anticipated just how huge a change would come and then how pivotal the Sherman Ranch site would turn into as part of that business growth. There were several ranches between Elroy's to the north and reaching south from the Sherman Ranch that were targeted as pasture for purchase as elderly owners retired and sold out and Chuck planned on visiting those owners within the next 12 months to work out a pre-purchase agreement committing to him verses selling out to railroad rights of ways. But the Sherman Ranch gave the enterprise a spear head for accessing the railhead anticipated in Laramie, the growth of the town itself, plus turn Slim and Jess into a solid business partnership making tons of profit from their prime location close to Laramie. The DKBS, Elroy's ranch and Jr's would become dedicated to the breeding, delivery and sorting more as a cattle nursery as the pastures opened up between them and the Sherman Ranch.

If or as the oil field part of the business came through it would be pure bonus and designated mostly under Jess' oversight. Depending on what came in, it was planned to be used as a supplemental income more as an emergency fund for the cattle business or for necessary capital improvements or land purchases between them by joining their properties. Slim had no interest in the oil area and because Jess had discovered it and just because he was born in Texas, it was turned completely over to Jess. Jess would've preferred staying solely with the cattle or doing horse business and he had little hope that much would come of the discovery. But, because of the sheer oddity of finding the oil pool as possibly related to his mother's guidance from heaven (See Buckboard Incident), he decided to play this hand, too, and see where it took him. He wasn't committing to the belief she was involved from heaven, you understand, but he wasn't taking any chances in case she was. Because of that any oil wells that came in would be named "Lizard" in tribute to her nickname of a pool Jess had accidentally discovered whilst chasing his next "pet", a lizard, back when he was a kid. She had delayed Jess' involvement in oil until the dad had left the picture. If the one at the bottom of the embankment came in where he'd been injured so badly, that would be called "Lizard 1." Jess was no longer interested in lizards, uncommon to Wyoming, but he wanted to keep the memory of his mother's wisdom alive for her having kept the father out of any oil boom considering that father's complete lack of financial discipline.

For the Sherman Ranch 2-3 year goal, architect plans were being drawn up to build a new two story log home in the valley across from the existing drive through to upgrade living quarters. The upstairs would be mainly living quarters and the downstairs built including a conference room for needed large business gatherings near the Laramie railhead. It would also have a massive kitchen for major meals for cowhands on trail end meals. The front of the house and balconies would be turned to face toward the lake. The existing house would be reworked and turned into a new, larger two story bunk house and the barn into a more efficient barn, complete with loft, would be built where the existing barn and old house stood after removing more timber from the back area of the lot clearing the view of the lake. Except for a corral near the enlarged barn servicing the barn and immediate house needs, all fenced corrals and holding pens were to be set up or moved over the hill into the next valley, nearby but out of sight. The improvements to the existing layout would be worked on in between cattle drives and Slim was insistent on hiring all the available stage drivers who were becoming laid off as the stage coach business dwindled and routes were cut. It was estimated that this area of work would be started under Slim and Jess' oversight and management as Andy came back from graduating college with his girlfriend, and that Mike would eventually grow into partnership with Andy at the original homestead managing the pastures, rotations-sorting and loading with the railroads. Everyone would help everyone but be in charge of certain areas of the business sections.

Short term plans were to have the newly purchased "high 20" pasture property fenced and parted in for immediate cattle pasture and cattle drive organization and the oil cores done by Thanksgiving. Then they would have a meeting with Jess' Montana doctor, Dr. Tim, in Denver to look over Chuck's property in the first two weeks of December as possible emergency trauma hospital run by Dr. Tim. Then when the college kids arrived for Christmas break, the Laramie group would join them for a much deserved, and desperately needed two and a half week vacation holiday retreat as invited guests at the Wentworth ranch. Needless to say, when Jess and Slim left for home two days later, everyone was buzzing with excitement and plans and the departure held more activity than any of the large cattle drives looking more like a very large traffic jam without stop signs.

Once everything and everyone made it to the Sherman ranch, under Jr's management of multiple "teams" of cowhands each were assigned to different parts of all the work, building roads, improving the embankment, platting and fencing the pastures, moving the holding pens to the next valley and clearing the land behind the house at the Laramie sub headquarters. Everything was completed on time and in order. Jr ran the operation like an army and his hands all seemed well trained and experienced plus they enjoyed having orders and just be busy with the construction. With his degree in land management Jr would lead off in one wagon surveying and a team would line in where fences were to go up, several wagons would do the fencing, he'd mark off roads and the huge bladed piece of equipment pulled by their two heaviest horses would cut in new roads, fix the embankments. Another wagon when waiting for fencing assignment cleared the trees behind the house cleaned and stacked them. Jr had Slim and Jess supervising different sites for last minute decisions and still taking care of stage runs. They'd have meetings at the end of each day reporting progress, problems, or suggestions and then another pre-dawn meeting over breakfast with the day's assignments. Everything worked hand in glove. They even had time before the weather headed south where the first group of weanlings were moved from "below" at the southern DKBS to the new north area "high 20" before the first major snow. AND they built a diving deck over the deepest part of the lake and added a small boat dock for a fishing boat Jr had his eye on a neighbor was thinking about selling. Jr was positive he could tell there was a deep hole in that lake where the fish were hiding but needed a boat to get to it. He wanted to get the dock secured in the water while it was low before the melting snow filled it up next spring. Next to tools, Jr loved to fish. Slim and Jess were shaking their heads in disbelief, relief and awe all at the same time at Jr's energy and drive. It sure made a difference to have wranglers cross trained in construction and have so many crews all working at the same time. Slim and Jess got a good taste of supervising management activity rather than doing the actual labor.

Daisy was thrilled at a ranch full of man-appetites and never cooked so much food in her entire life even with the help of Frankie, the Wentworth's "cookie" who actually served the wranglers off of the converted store room over in the valley using his chuck wagon. The holding pens and valley pasture used to hold stage teams and the first Wentworth stock from Jess' poker win was divided first thing. They moved the cattle to a pen just over the hill and moved the stage horses to the pen nearest the drive. The other pen was used for Wentworth's remuda, wagons, the chuck wagon and eating area and cowboys who preferred sleeping outside set up a bedding area on the up slope. The Wentworths even had a huge buck house tent complete with fold up cots they set up on the slope that would put an Army tent to shame. Jr had sourced a closing fort supply train...one of his "equipment finds." The cowboys all preferred sleeping out on the upslope and eating from their chuck wagon – it was their second home. Jr used the Sherman buck house for sleeping and as an office. In return for her cooking supporting the "cookie" Daisy rarely stepped out the door to do some chore but it was relieved from her hands and done for her, even finding a multiple line clothes drying line strung at the back of the new backyard. They hung it so high you could ride a horse under it so it wouldn't have to be taken down. On days of use, she could pull it down via a pulley drop to load clothes and then re-raise it to the wind. She fell in love with the clothes line and extra apple pie was made the next day. It was another "Jr invention." Trash was always emptied everywhere and a new metal burning pit was constructed downwind next to a compost pit which was turned containing the uneatable parts of the large amounts of food that was being consumed. She'd bring one laundry basket out to hang, go inside for the second and come back outside finding the first basket hung up and empty. That one really tickled her fancy. Several times Jess and Slim would come in very weary with one more stage due and the stage would be ready to pull out with a new team just as they'd come scooting in late…extra hands had taken care of it. And they were happy hands, too, nobody was picking fights or breaking rules or getting drunk. People asked with "please" and "thank you" with "ma'am and sir". Jess decided that Tiger should show up at the bunk house sink bar with the rest of the hands and begin 'shaving' with the guys, even though it was with a table knife….in return, it wasn't so difficult getting Tiger to take baths. Jess even had a 'meeting' with Jr about how to install hot water showers and an indoor privy, but they decided to wait until the remodel was done because it costs some money putting that rig together and quite a lot of the supplies would have to come from Maggie's sister in Boston. Somewhere in all the activity fall finished and went unnoticed and the days got shorter and colder quickly and suddenly turkey day was gone. The new log house, bunkhouse and barn were not built yet, but everything else was done and the land was prepared for the construction to commence complete with stacks of logged wood.

CHAPTER 3 Antibiotics and Modern 1870's Medicine

(This chapter is response to my reviewers who are medical skeptics from part 1, and to those who don't like long stories, my apology.) So the first week in December blustered in and the meeting with the Doctor was set on a day that naturally ended up cloudy, cold and windy in the outer skirts of Denver's budding business building metropolis and close to one of the train stations. It was a typical early winter day, some snow had fallen and melted and more was brewing to arrive making everything frozen ruts threatening to be covered by new snow. Jess, who was aching in pre-storm barometric misery, Daisy, Maggie and Chuck had travelled to Denver and were meeting with Dr. Tim, the Montana doctor hero who'd patched Jess back together from the buckboard accident. It was a probably "deal" Jess had arranged putting Dr. Tim's dream of building a hospital trauma and rehab facility with an empty building Chuck owned in Denver. It was a building partially completed on three acres near downtown Denver where a nursing home had been started but ran out of money and Chuck had won it in a poker game. Chuck didn't want city property, Dr. Tim needed a building and Jess connected the two businessmen. The Doc was to lease to own it as he got the medical facility up and running using startup money pledged by various Cattlemen Associations in the surrounding area states and his back east supporters. The member ranches of these associations would receive discounted medical services or an optional medical maintenance plan or they could opt to go with a pay as you use plan. Dr. Tim had been busy organizing his financial backings and was set to move forward on the actual property when Jess and Slim tied him up with Chuck and the whole deal was falling neatly into place. It was another positive piece of life to be coming off the horrendous buckboard accident where Dr. Tim had been on the stage behind the accident and had been instrumental in saving Jess' life, patching him back up and a great friendship had begun. Once this property was approved by all members Dr. Tim was headed for the train station in Denver to go back east and pick up his fiancé from the east coast medical college she was graduating from with a doctorate in rehab therapy. He planned on being married over the holidays and she would join him in Denver as his lead partner with her expertise in rehabilitation therapy. Slim was left in Laramie supervising the weather-allowed bonus first load of moving in weanlings to their new pasture and handling the stage schedule with Mike…..and eating leftovers.

Chuck and Dr. Tim were focused on their deal for the building as a medical facility, but Maggie and Daisy were more interested in Dr. Tim's methods and resources, especially how he'd been so successful treating Jess' injuries after the dastardly bushwhacking and then a buckboard accident. Jess had made the trip as escort to Daisy who wanted to meet the Wentworths and in on the medical aspects as putting Chuck and Dr. Tim into their first introductions with each other. He didn't realize he would become the object of conversation and the more they got into it the more nervous he became discovering what had happened while he had been unconscious. He began feeling discomforted like they had been looking inside his body, beyond his dignity and had been completely exposed of his self to female viewership. In other words, he began fidgeting.

Daisy was walking arm in arm with Maggie and they too, had just begun a budding new best friendship as being close to the same age and both originally from the north east coast with nursing backgrounds. They were several paces behind Dr. Tim who was with Chuck and Jess while walking through the empty and very dusty building surveying it for needed completion. It was a mutual benefit as they hung onto each other stepping over piles of construction leftovers and debris while shivering with the cold December breeze cutting through the open skeleton of the building. Both women were the same height, in their 50s, blonde over gray hair piled on top their heads, dressed to the teeth. Daisy was more…..um ample in size standing side by side to Maggie who was lithe and quite shapely barely looking like she'd birthed 3 children. By personalities, very similar yet by no means competitive. Maggie had an obvious manner having come from wealth while Daisy was more earthy and yet when they were together, it was more like they were sisters. It made Jess happy to see Daisy finally have a close relationship developing with a female peer.

"I'm really interested in your nursing experience working in the hospitals during the War, Daisy. I know with what I've had handling the various injuries on our ranch it can be quite challenging especially to get ahead of infections. They always seem to be a bigger problem for me than the injury itself. During the war, my family's station in life kept me in the rear of the line and we treated those who had been shipped back after actually surviving surgery so our largest battle was with the infections." Maggie's head was tilted toward Daisy as usual instantly connecting with people as though longtime friends. "On a scale the size of a war, how did you ever survive living through such trauma of such brave military men on the front line?"

Daisy paused a moment as the horrible memories flooded back from the deep pocket of storage she'd tucked them in her mind and she looked down and shook her head.

"It was the most awful time of my entire life, Maggie. I've never seen such terrible wounds and so many of them never arrived soon enough after their injury where we could begin treatment until it was too late. If we'd have only had the supplies, facilities and had gotten to them sooner, so many of them could have survived. I don't know how many nights I didn't sleep because we were so busy simply trying to make their last hours as painless as possible. The most horrible part was once you got the bloody uniform peeled off, you couldn't tell the difference between whether they were a northerner or from the south. They were all Americans and in the same pain and I treated old men with no teeth left all the way down to boys who were…" she cleared her throat without needing it, "well, let's just say optimistically lying about their age." She stopped and gave Maggie one of her looks up through her eyebrows.

Maggie blushed and nodded without saying out loud she knew the "boys" were under aged males obvious once they'd been torn up by wounds.

"It was years after the war was over when I finally was able to get away from the nightmares."

Dr. Tim overheard their conversation change from dresses and frilly lace and instantly he turned and stopped but then looked back at Chuck who kept walking and looking up into the rafters surveying the work still needing to be done. Tim was more interested in medical talk than construction. The ladies were trying to get around a particularly nasty and very large pile of debris. Jess stopped with Dr. Tim and turned to see what he was looking at and saw the ladies were plotting a path so he quickly walked back and with a toothy smile and a slightly over exaggerated bow of oozing charisma and charm got between them offering an arm to each. That was his intended purpose for coming, facilitating the ladies and putting Chuck and Tim together was even better than watching cute but small cattle being delivered. Both ladies smiled at his attentiveness and he guided and steadied them around the pile.

"Jess, you're such a gentleman. Sarah sure taught you well." Maggie said accepting his elbow.

"Who's Sarah?" At first Daisy thought there was yet another female in Jess' life she had not been introduced to and her voice contained a teasing lift.

"Sarah. Jess' mother? My very best and first friend I met in Texas after Poppa and I married and he moved me out here. It was the first time I'd ever been away from family and Boston and she was such a dear friend turned sister helping me learn how to be a married woman and mother AND survive in the wild frontier. Boston was quite different than the panhandle of Texas." Maggie explained. "I always admired Texas raised children and Sarah certainly did a fine job with Jess. His manners are impeccable."

"Well, he's a quick learner, Maggie, especially how to pilfer apple pies hot out of the oven." She shot a side look of tease at Jess up through those same eyebrows razzing him in order to keep pride under control.

Jess' eyebrows pitched upward in the center in absolute innocence like he'd been caught in the cookie jar and he took in a breath to start expounding in justification his addiction to apple pie, but Daisy didn't notice and kept talking and Jess had to shut his jaw.

"You know, Maggie, it was just amazing watching our new doctor here work on Jess' accident injuries after that buckboard went flying. You know none of his wounds even became red, he had no fever and in spite of all the activity of the trip here slowing things down some, he's healed very neatly. I was especially amazed how quickly the stomach wound healed because those are often so deadly."

She noticed the doc watching and listening and Maggie noticed Chuck was several dozen feet away all alone still inspecting the ceiling rafters. She smiled to herself. Once Chuck got in the business mode, he was like a dog on a bone. They got around the pile and joined the doc and Jess was expecting the ladies to turn loose and Daisy did latching onto the doctor's offered elbow. Maggie held onto Jess' elbow smiling at him. They had found a spot mostly out of the cold wind where they could still observe Chuck wandering, so they stayed put huddled in a circle waiting for Chuck to finish and rejoin them.

"Those medicines you used on Jess really made a difference, Dr. Tim. I've never seen anything work so well." Daisy offered the doc to join in the discussion. "Did you bring them west with you when you came from college?"

"I have to warn you ladies, if you get me started on the topic of infections and medications, I could talk all day." He smiled charismatically and was immediately rooted to the floor and ready for medical conversation over construction business on any day of the week. He was a handsome, striking man much the same size as Slim only with dark hair, highly intelligent yet personable with an instant bedside manner that made anyone quickly open up to his thought processes.

"Why is that?" Offered Maggie.

"I grew up on a very large ranch in Montana where there were tons of injuries. Both cowboys and animals would become infected and die before we could deal with the cause of the injuries, too. We not only had ranch injuries but we also had wild animal attacks. From the time I was about 10 years old I began spending my summers with various friendly Indian tribes in Montana and surrounding states and some in Canada. The older I got, the further my dad let me travel. I'd spend my time with the tribe's medicine men learning how to use natural plants and steam, basically any method they used for treating infection and injuries. Some worked better than others, some of it is mystic, but there were some underlying commonalities and their knowledge of plants are impressive. The key was in taking the commonalities and using combinations from each tribe to gain an overall better, more potent treatment. Then when I went east for my medical training, I'd travel to Europe and Asian countries during the summers and study European and eastern medicinal methods."

"Were the Indians that friendly they'd allow you to know their medicines? Daisy asked.

"Some tribes were, others were not. My dad was very careful allowing me to go to ones would work with us. Quite a lot of the time we'd provide beef in return and that far north with the winters we have, they were always interested in food. My mother was especially good with children and often could exchange ideas like sewing crafts, with the Indian women. My parents have a great deal of respect for the Native Americans and their cultures and we always were trying to find ways to make their lives easier. In return they seemed very willing to show us their way of living and surviving. It gets very cold in Montana winters, everyone pulls together."

"So how did you get into actually formulating medicines?" Maggie asked.

"During my freshman year I took a pharmaceutical class on how to mix products so they worked harmonically rather than countering each other and how to preserve the potent parts and keep them pure from the point of harvest. It's quite an exciting area of medicine. But the key to preventing infection is early treatment, impeccably sanitary conditions and thorough debridement of the wounds. In Jess' case, I was on site at the wreck within minutes of the event, Slim allowed me to call how he was recovered from the site, controlling the bleeding and efforts getting him up the embankment and then completely in charge of his surgeries. All of that happened within the first 12 hours and Mrs. Cooper was a tremendous assistant and provided me with plenty of hot water and alcohol, and her home is immaculately clean for the environment around it. You remember how much time we spent cleansing his wounds before we even began repair work, right?"

He looked down at Daisy who had raised her head to even see his face. Jess, however started becoming very uncomfortable. In his memory his "wounds" were the ones mostly centered around his waist, hips and thighs. He began shifting uneasily on his feet tugging the front of his blue winter coat closed and looking as though they could all somehow see through his clothes to his naked body and innards. Maggie grinned at his fidgets reading his modesty in contrast to the normally outgoing and confident adult male and cowboy just making him more lovable in her sight.

"We certainly did, Dr. Tim. I never saw someone so diligent about cleansing the tissues all around the injury as well. I was so impressed when I saw Tim working on the inside of the injury cavity itself especially around those nasty barb wire gashes. Every other doctor I've worked with only did a surface wash and those barbed wire things make such nasty, ragged edges. Some of Jess' skin was so shredded it couldn't, well there was skin that didn't fit back together. So Dr. Tim had to debride the inner areas and then patch pieces of skin. It was some of the most delicate cleansing and then sewing I've ever seen, Maggie. Sometimes he'd use a serious of stitches to hold the gashes together where there was no more skin he said because we had to wait for the skin to regrow closed. On those he also used a fascinating system of bandaging and infection preventative."

Jess rolled his eyes now convinced everybody had gawked at every inch of his self and they'd been petticoats, too. A goodly number of those "nasty gashes" had been in some peeticularly um….well just too dadgum close to his family's roots and what he considered private property, or his dignity. Fortunately by some miracle, the certain most pertinent parts were uninjured, but it had been just too close of a dance with a roll of barbed wire for Pete's sake and some of the pink on his face was not from the cold wind.

Daisy noticed the tension in Jess' face and he was obviously uncomfortable so she added, "Of course I don't know how well they closed because Slim helped Dr. Tim around those areas during the surgery and in caring for those areas just after but he was talking his way through and I heard how he was doing it. The good doctor had me busy in the other room sanitizing instruments and preparing bandages during certain parts of the surgery." She didn't say exactly when she was missing just to give Jess some sense of privacy, but she had been assisting the doctor during the stitching and nothing she said was a lie.

"And in Jess' wounds, from the tumble of the wagon and his foot being caught trapping him, those gashes were not only ragged surface cuts, but they'd been stretched and rolled under pressure and caused a significant amount of internal mauling…. or bruising of the deeper levels of the dermis. Quite different than a deep gash say from a bear or cat claw which is more of a cut with mostly clean edges." Tim added changing his gaze to Jess and nodding. "I, for one, can't imagine the pain you were experiencing Jess. Soft tissue damage and bone breaks are two of the worst kinds of pain."

Tim moved his gaze quickly away because he instantly saw the flicker in Jess' eyes again and didn't want to embarrass Jess in front of women. Looking downward Jess stuck his chin out slightly then pulling it up like a drawbridge tried to exude a tough cowboy mask. He pulled his hat down further on his forehead and leaned back on his left leg somehow instinctively still protecting the right one. It had hurt….horribly and he hadn't said a word then either, to anyone. But Jess thought nobody had noticed. He knew Slim had already beat himself up believing people could actually think Slim could've intentionally gone over the embankment on purpose. But Jess' pain was not only physical, it was also emotional. The amount of pain and the coverage in his body had awakened long buried childhood memories of events that had been nasty between him and his pa due to his kid-hood attempts to rescue his mom from the man's temper and physical assaults. Plus the accident had happened during yet another attempt at moving into the dream of a positive future this time with Slim and using his once in a lifetime newly won winnings from a poker game. Jess had been flying so high on cloud 9 while fingering his once in a lifetime cash and prizes. Then there was being shot down in a bushwhacking and then being launched over the embankment smothered by the thorn-riddled buckboard bent on shredding his skin off one inch at a time. Jess remembered one of his first thoughts when he woke up unsure he could even move was this event once again ripping apart his hope from his dream. And on the physically real side it wasn't just an isolated gunshot in a wing or skimming a corner, or a few ribs tenderized from a hand fight. These were multiple injuries all on top of each other, all tight in body hits lasting weeks, no, months. The deep lower back contusion added to the vertical twist break from his hip to his knee had often times completely paralyzed his entire leg and hips in numbing ice needles from reduced blood flow sitting too long in one position, like a saddle. Riding the buckboard always killed him in pain from the hard seat vibrating everything going both up his spine and down his legs. Both events would be followed by the thousands of 18" needles of pain skewering his groin from every direction cutting off his oxygen in pain before the numbness eased off with the return of blood circulation to messed up nerve fibers trying to reroute themselves. More than once those needles of pain bent him over in dark corners the barn and the always unannounced collapse of either leg dropping him on his bum were tied for first place in pain. The needles always came with full body shots of adrenaline at the loss of cognitive control he needed and was used to from his body. When he could finally dismount... or slip down dragging his right leg off the off side out of view, he would be unsure what the middle of his body was doing. He couldn't physically feel its positions for the stabbing needles which were just as bad as the original injuries, and those needles covered those more pertinent parts caught in between the patches that had been skinned being held together by woven stitches. Even today, although less, those nerve paths were still in the process of re-wiring. He HATED the needles. There had been times when he was alone no one saw the tears. But cowboys don't cry. MEN don't cry. In those alone times he'd fought between depression of the past memories the pain had re-awakened from when his dad's past abuse when he was a kid left him numb from stabbing pain unable to move parts of his body then, too. Plus with the buckboard crash's infernal needles that continued long after he'd gotten outta bed only added to the worry as he healed that he'd ever be able to physically move certain parts again and unknown if there had been unseen, long term injury to inner parts that might affect his chance to produce kids. No one knew .. well, that is to say he didn't have the nerve to ask the doc. No one would ever know about all that pain knocking him down every direction he stood…. except Traveler those times he'd have to grab something fast, generally a wad of mane, or lean into to help catch him when his legs would collapse. There were those early days on their first visit to the DKBS in the middle of those nights stopping the old nightmares of the past that resurfaced staring into the blackness of the dark bedroom. Somehow knowing those worst moments Sasha had whimpered as she gently crawled onto his chest and washed the tears from his face a few times with her puppy kisses. Hurt? But, it would be a cold day in hell before Slim would ever know from his lips! Jess had turned his gaze over the heads of the ladies and was looking unfocused into the empty skeleton of the building blinking away the excess moisture in his eyes…. from the cold wind …must have picked up. But he'd caught the movement of Dr. Tim's frown and their eye contact just missed each other by a fraction of a second.

Dr. Tim confirmed in his heart he'd been right about the pain. He grew up cowboy, too, very well acquainted with the depth of argument the body can produce firing back in retribution for self-preservation. The shadow that crossed Jess' eyes when Tim had touched the scar with merely the verbal reference had confirmed it. Reflexes never lie. The moral integrity Tim read in Jess that caused him to hide that depth of pain revealed not only who Jess was, but who Slim was. He'd watch both men hurting more for their pard and trying to protect each other from worse pain letting each other know they knew, but in love for the other, would never ask….but just do for each other. Like Slim helping him in surgery and then caring for Jess' wounds after. Uncommon men. It only cemented to Tim these two men would be a part of Tim's life just as forever as he could make it happen. Daisy's voice brought both men back to the present.

"We never had time or supplies like that during the war. I was also extremely impressed how our doctor here, nearly scrubbed the skin off his hands before he ever started working on Jess. During the war the doctors just went from soldier to soldier. Slim was there and he did a marvelous job stepping in and caring for Jess' more um shall we say… more classified areas." Daisy repeated because she could clearly see Jess was still blushing under cold cheeks and the ever present scruff growth, his eyes had now glazed over and uncomfortable as he'd fidgeted in tight to Maggie's body. She added, "I was more than happy Dr. Tim took care of those areas during the surgeries and Slim stepped up and did the aftercare on him. I didn't have to even get close…mostly just handed Dr. Tim and Slim the tools and believe me, he kept me busy. He wouldn't use a tool twice without having me re-boil them. And Slim was a jewel. All I did was hand him supplies and he tended Jess's wounds."

Maggie's head was tilted compassionately while holding Jess' elbow smiled up at him. "I remember Slim taking care of Jess on that first visit….I could tell they had a special trust of each other as Slim could reach areas Jess was still too stiff and sore to bend into. For one man to have trust at that level with another man who was not a doctor spoke highly of them. Even Chuck remarked about it and made him at ease coming to know Slim and accept him that much faster. You have to earn your standing with my husband…and he can read people like a book."

Not caused by the weather Daisy shuddered and seeing her do that, Jess unconsciously shivered, too, his face screwed up realizing people had been digging around not just near his dignity, but no, inside his body too, and while he was unconscious. He crossed his arms in front of his chest further securing the coat closed and again shuffled his feet still looking out from under the low pulled hat brim. Daisy adding Slim into the remarks helped tremendously, but still…..

"Ya….don't know who was hurt worse in that wreck. Slim or me. Took a big man to dive in and take care of me after feeling responsible for the whole thing, especially when none of it was his fault." Jess affirmed mumbling in a respectful tone hopefully getting off the topic of his internal parts hanging out in the wind like…..well, like laundry.

Daisy added, "I've never seen Slim so ghastly white like he was at the top of that embankment when Mose and I drove up. I could instantly tell he was….I mean he was still in control and busy working on the problem, but I looked him over pretty close before he and Dr. Tim went back over the edge. I was sure he'd been injured by how horrified he was. He was so pale, his skin was clammy. All he could see was "Jess!" this and that…as close to panic as I've ever seen him." Her eyes became moist.

"No doubt he was in shock, too, Ms. Daisy." Dr. Tim tried to help her with her idea.

Jess frowned and began cogitating inside his head to himself because he had been long concerned about how Slim had gone through the ordeal, who was refusing later to share it with him. For days after he woke up in the house he couldn't remember much about what'd happened. The pain kept ricocheting around his body he wasn't sure where all he was hurt because everything was either in pain or so numb he couldn't move parts. He remembered the poker game and the bushwhacking getting hit with a couple rounds somewhere in his body, and then finding his foot caught under the fencing and being tangled in the wagon which went flying. That was it and everything went dark until he woke up in bed and found Slim was distant and aside from some smaller bruises, completely healthy. Slim was compassionate and very helpful, but distant and Jess couldn't capture his eye contact to read him deeper. It was the first and only time Jess could remember where Slim had backed away some from his openness with him and had even closed his self off a ways from Jess. Slim's shutting him off hurt hundreds of times worse than his body screaming bloody murder at him. Several times he'd look through what portions of the house he could see from bed and find Slim gazing off into space out some window or appearing exhausted with his head down leaning on his arms on the table or window ledge and Jess could hear sniffles. Couple times he woke up because Slim was snoring sitting in a chair next to his bed and his head had tilted back. It had concerned Jess wondering just what condition Slim had found him in at the end of that wreck….and could never ask because that self-retribution he saw in Slim would just hurt Slim more and all over again by rehashing it. But he knew for certain from Slim's distant attitude and coolness that it had been bad and worse and that Slim was beating himself up about it. And as Daisy had diagnosed, the more Slim helped Jess with the wounds and injuries, the more Slim had opened back up to him on the inside where Slim lived. Having Slim come back and open up was the primary reason why Jess had been so willing for Slim's help because he wanted to help Slim deal with whatever was bothering him. It's not just any person, male or female, that Jess would have allowed that level of contact with and around those particular parts of his body at least when conscious and having some input on the matter, and only Slim would be allowed contact if needed to one specific area. He wouldn't have let Jonesy. Slim would have been his only choice on any healthy day, but he could also tell Slim was dealing with something deep and wanted to give special emphasis to Slim of his trust at that level. That was why he'd finally opened up and told Slim about some of the horrible parts of his childhood he'd never told anyone, too. Now hearing this back story, apparently he had been correct. Of course allowing that level of contact was because of Slim being another man, but now he had some confirmation what he'd read that Slim had been hurt just as much from beating himself up on the inside as being responsible. Jess could tell from early in their acquaintance that Slim had a lot of confidence and leadership qualities which a lot of men have, but he also carries those responsibilities deeper than most men especially in the degree to those high standards he holds his self to. Jess looked down briefly and released a deep sigh blinking back more moisture in his eyes….daggone wind….men like Slim are unique, few and far between… sometimes stubborn and obstinate, but a true man. It had been one of his better moves, if not one of absolute requirement in order to have been able to help Slim not give up on everything, to move on through that accident WITH himself. Now looking back and with this confirmation Jess was happy inside that he'd released that deep of trust to Slim, even if it meant giving up some of the filth from his birth home he'd never shared with anyone. (The Buckboard Incident) It had absolutely never occurred to Jess to even begin to hold Slim accountable for that wreck because it was pure accident from the elements of a muddy road and old equipment. It would have killed Jess to have been in reverse roles and he'd been driving instead of Slim only he wouldn't have been so controlled dealing with his guilt. So it was difficult figuring out how Slim could deal and Jess had wanted to give Slim every ounce of help he could by over-extending his trust level back Slim's direction. Jess well knew physical injuries heal, it's those internal ones that gnaw on a man, or woman. Second to finally deeciding to stay on at the ranch with Slim, letting him deeper into his self was one of and maybe just the best decisions he'd ever made. Tim's voice brought Jess back to … he's still talking about Slim…

Dr. Tim's voice continued. "He's one powerful man, Maggie. Had we not been being careful putting Jess on a board, I'd have had to be pulling Jess off of Slim's shoulders. He was so wound up I thought I'd have to try to prevent Slim from carrying Jess on his back and pulling his self back up that embankment on a rope. He could've done it, too, big as he is and had I not been there to help, he'd have moved hell and got Jess up to the top. But the jostling would have aggravated Jess' injuries and he'd have lost more blood and more skin around those gashes. Slim's a handsome son of a gun but I'd want him at my back in a crisis because he still had his head on and let me stage the retrieval."

Jess had wondered how he'd been found out the bottom and how they'd gotten him back to the top, just now realizing and knowing Slim, how true the doctor's concerns were. Slim would and could have done just that…..yet when Slim had doctored him later, Jess remembered how very gentle Slim had been. His hands were always warm and the pressure was perfect and not so light it tickled. Even in dealing with his cranky muscles' cramping threats Slim somehow always had the correct strength.

"I can tell pharmacology can be a huge benefit to general surgery and trauma." Maggie decided to draw the conversation back to something a little bit less sensitive for Jess as she pressed her head into his bicep in a side hug on the elbow she'd tucked into and patted his forearm with her gloved hand. She wanted to take him in her arms and give him a big momma hug. From how tightly he had gradually inched closer standing tightly into her body where she almost had to take a step sideways, she felt that Jess wanted and definitely needed a big momma hug, but would never ask. She felt on any normal day he was in a considerable deficit for deep caring hugs, but timing is everything with cowboys especially Jess and his history. Right now it would have been embarrassing to Jess so she controlled herself, hard. Without a second thought Jess reached over and placed his free hand over her gloved one and patted it gently then released his elbow and wrapped his arm around Maggie's shoulders drawing her in for a tight side hug augmented by a strong squeeze. Maggie turned slightly quickly enfolding herself in his body while wrapping her arm behind his back and hugging back. They exchanged small smiles. Jess gave great hugs and helped satisfy some of Maggie's need to hold him…..barely satisfied, but she'd take what she could get.

"Exactly. You know there's even a scientist from France who is working with bacteriology and another man back east who is studying these same infection and disease prevention methods. I read everything they write on treatments." He chuckled, "Good ol' Louie. Said he was out to change the world of medicine. I was certainly impressed with his work. So basically, ladies, I earned two degrees. A Master's in emergency and surgical medicine and Minored in Pharmacology. My interest level though is more in practicing the medicine on the front line rather than getting documented by historians on inventing potions. I also do a lot of experimentation with new methods. That's why I was so hands on building the braces to fit Jess, rather than just hurry his body into the trauma of another surgery opening his body up again just before a long distance trip I couldn't monitor. Anytime you open the body, you're inviting all kinds of problems at the same time weakening it. So I enjoy the challenge of the live event. We were lucky on several instances with Jess. His stomach wound only nicked the digestive tract where the gastric fluids often cause the severe infections that are so deadly. That bullet basically landed in the cartilage of the nearby rib stopping the bullet from churning up worse damage and a fragment only nicked the top edge of his stomach. The roll of the wagon and the immediate weight that landed on his abdomen at the bottom kept both the blood loss and the gastric leaking to a minimum. The shoulder wound was a through shot and didn't hit anything vital. From all the nearby scars on both his shoulders, probably just replaced an old scar. Plus, we were ahead and had an incredible advantage that Jess is so physically fit, too. That was a tremendous factor in his healing and in rehabilitating wounds. Makes a difference when someone takes care of their health and then he obeyed my instructions post surgery."

Jess tugged nervously again keeping his jacket pulled together and again adjusted the hat down over his eyes readjusting the hair under the brim. More information about what they found at the bottom and at least he got one more credit point …. taking care of his health…..that is when he can convince the cooks the intake of food is vital to his sustenance of life and limb and not just a joke always begging for apple pie and such. One score, handled pain; second score, maintains health, third score and the most important, was correct in offering extra trust to Slim to help him through, too. Check, check and check…hmmm…some hot apple pie would sure taste great right now, nice almost boiling hot coffee, too…..the thought of food quickly sliding into apple pie memories. Lunch would be even better, a hot one… with hot apple pie following.

"So the medicines you sent me to use on Jess were ones you made yourself?" Daisy and Maggie were both fascinated.

"Right. I have a college buddy who's getting his degree in pharmacology and he bought a used gelatin capsule machine. I gave him my recipes for infections and one for diseases and he makes them for me and ships them out here to Denver on trains. Those ointments were my own recipe, too, and he makes those. All my recipes are combinations of the natural homeopathic medicines as well as the newer components science is coming up with back east PLUS ones I sourced from my trips to the orient and in Europe. I set up sources in Europe and the Orient to send me components, or rather they ship them to my buddy who makes them for me. I may be just a cowboy medic with a degree but using my homegrown recipes allows me to alter their ingredients and update them faster. Who knows, maybe someday I'll mix a cure all before anyone else can land the recipe and become rich and famous."

"You do any studies on blood that becomes contaminated through a transfusion, too?" Jess asked based on his recent experience with Josie's medical problems.

"You're thinking about Josie?" Daisy asked softly and Jess looked at her with a small smile and nodded.

"Those are more complicated and I only have a little bit of information."

"Do you know if a person has blood with components that can fix other blood would also be more resistant to infections?" Jess followed up. Maggie raised her eyebrows at Jess' interest and Daisy just smiled.

"I'd answer that as a 'yes' but not necessarily in the why you're thinking. You see when the body is injured, repeatedly injured or has recovered from an illness, their blood has a higher level of what is known as white blood cell components. The white cell components of the blood is what fights infection, disease, or anything that battles against the body's natural means of health, or "anti-body" which is what we try to formulate medicines to do or to assist. So with a recent injury or constant series of injuries, the human body would have produced and even temporarily maintained a higher than the usual level of white cells. An ailing person has normally a lower level of white cells and they would typically be prone to infection or disease, sometimes just needing a boost in white cells to achieve a recovery. It's not that the blood of itself is a fix all. It's the condition the blood is in at the time based on what the donor has recently overcome. Someone who eats healthy and keeps fit would have stronger blood components than say a someone who is malnourished and inactive. "

Dr. Tim waited a second inclining his head seeking to see if Jess was following and Jess was nodding, so he continued.

"The Indians have long used the Echinacea plant for fighting infections because it enhances the human blood's natural white blood cell count and its effectiveness in building the body's natural immunity. It's controversial in medical science because they have difficulty proving it, but the Native Americans swear by it and I've used it quite successfully for years and include a substantial portion in my recipes. Since I use these herbs and plants in my treatment, and since they work to enhance the work of the white blood cell's anti-infection benefit, I sometimes refer to my medicines as anti-biotic, or biologic antigens. If one of my recipes has more than one anti-biotic component, then I call it a plural, "antibiotics." Not sure what the rest of the medical community calls it or do I care because I see mine work. I much prefer boosting the body's own natural systems rather than just dumping chemicals into the weakened body. Willow Bark is also used for pain relief and is much safer than laudanum or opium based medicines because it's not addictive. Belladonna is another herb that work on calming or suppressing nerve sensitivity. I'm surprised by your interest, Jess, and that's not a typical question. Do you have some experience with this?"

"My mother…." He gestured to Maggie's earlier reference, "in her middle years became quite sickly. She had two miscarriages in a row and the last baby was born with a rash nobody could fix."

"I see." Dr. Tim nodded knowing exactly what Jess referred and Jess continued;

"Recently, I discovered I have a sister who had become infected by a blood transfusion after her miscarriage and was on the verge of dying from it. Well, I did a series of blood donations to her and her blood was fixed and she's fully recovered, can even have more kids. So I was just wondering if my blood could have helped my mom and the baby back then, too?"

"How long ago was this with your mother?"

"A good 15 years."

"Do you know if your father was promiscuous?"

Jess frowned slightly and briefly glanced at Maggie with a puzzled look not convinced the topic long buried should be exposed or how to properly disclose some information in mixed company. He wasn't really sure about the "promisicus…" word either. In their short acquaintance Jess had noticed Maggie had a way of saying things let's say "politely," and that fascinated him because he'd accidentally lost contact with way too many folks by just blurting things out. So in his mind she was worth learning from and maybe she could confirm the word for him.

"Yes, Dr., he was attentive to the social women." She offered in a gentle and socially appropriate manner and gave Jess a very coy small smile. Jess raised his chin slightly acknowledging her assistance and the appropriate way to communicate things in a socially correct manner.

"Sounds more to me like he contracted an infection from them and passed the illness to your mother and from her on to the baby that did survive. That is a very common problem with that type of lifestyle and produces a very serious type of infection. It would have complicated her ability in holding onto conceptions because child production requires a lot from the mother's body. And that type of infection would have caused the rash on the baby that was born. That infection takes strong medicine to overcome and we are still working on developing one and it takes more than just boosting the blood's white cell antibody components. There are viral infections, bacterial infections and ones where simply the body's own defenses that somehow get miss tuned and starts attacking its own body, too. So just from your limited information, Jess, I would say no to the blood transfusion helping her and even more doubtful that far back. If you'd like I could share more with you later. Did she or the baby suffer long?"

A shadow of sadness crossed Jess' face that was reflected in Maggie's as she identified not only some of the scars Jess held deep inside, but was becoming more convinced that he had miss- assumed ownership of the responsibility for things he really had no control over and weren't his to begin with. She frowned lightly this time.

"Long enough…she seemed to be getting worse about 4-5 years before for her murder but the baby was just a few months old." Jess mumbled while looking down at the dirty floor. He saw an exposed nail sticking point up in a piece of wood near his foot and reached his foot over and bent it down with the heel of his boot. All three of them looked down and watched him.

"Sarah and the baby was not sick because of anything you did nor could they have been healed by anything you could have done. Those things are not your responsibility or your fault, Jess." Maggie softly but emphatically tried to interject into his thoughts. Jess returned her eye contact but his eyebrows were furrowed from internal pain, his helpless at supporting his ma was a deep scar he'd carry to his grave. He adored his ma but was just a skinny kid…and it angered him being that helpless. Women should be worshipped and protected, they are so fragile and so…. life generative. It fascinated him since he was a …Tiger's age. Somehow they could make babies, living creatures like his ma did, and feed them without cooking, and always knew answers and fixed things, and could cook wonderful things that kept his stomach from shooting pain through his innards. Women were …also the most beautiful creations. They should be….

Daisy noticed the communications between Jess and Maggie quietly and then in compassion offered causing Jess to look at her,

"But your twin was helped with your blood, Jess, right after you survived that assault on the stage. The buckboard accident happened shortly after that, so your white cell count would have been high when it helped Josie. And she told me the doctors have given her a clean bill of health and she can have more children. We just found out that Jess is a twin."

"Wow, Jess. You and I need to sit down some time and talk medicine." The Dr. was intrigued. "George would be quite interested in your health history. Do you have an interest in medicine, Jess?"

"Never did, never much exposure to it at all. Just some interesting events recently have been putting answers to long time questions, Doc. I seen too many bullet holes and not enough of the successful repair part of medicine. Always been fascinated, though, how skin just repairs itself; fills in around a hole and somehow a new surface is formed, like the barbed wire ones…. 'at was pretty daggone amazing. By the way, I'd like to thank you for your amazing talent. You did a remarkable job putting me back together and then using stitches to hold things together until the skin did fill it in. Couldn't have done it without Slim's help, but I watched that skin grow back. The scars are …" he looked toward Daisy's curiosity and nodded slightly, "… minimal." He wanted to put an end to Daisy's memory of his injury sites by shutting down her curiosity.

"Have you ever watched a surgery before, Jess?" Dr. Tim brushed on past the compliment.

"I watched Daisy pull a slug out of Slim's shoulder once. 'At was pretty amazing. Pulled a slug outta a feller's arm once; it healed straight up."

"But you didn't pass out watching?" Dr. Tim looked at Daisy.

"No, doctor. Jess was right there at my shoulder helping me. He's patched up other wounds, too, ones not needing a bullet removed and he's constantly fixing horse wounds. Not many men can do that." Daisy bragged. "He's got very gentle hands."

Maggie's eyes were misty and she looked up into Jess' down turned face and rubbed his forearm. She'd retreated back to holding the elbow and he looked over the few inches to her face and smiled lightly at her with a half shrug of his other shoulder.

Chuck walked back up to the threesome clueless what they were discussing rubbing his gloved hands together. "Seen enough Doc or do you have questions?"

"I've seen enough. I think we need to sit down with your lawyer and see what the numerical diagnosis is for this building and the 3 acres. It'd be a great start to what I've got in mind and this place is only one block away from a train station where we can bring in emergency victims. I can already see a series of emergency treatment rooms and an operating room on the first level and then recovery rooms in areas on the upper floors, and a rehab area on the top floor for my fiancé. My buddies have been telling me about some new vertical screw railways in New York (elevators 1853) that can lift loads between floors without using stairs, might work in moving patients fixed to wheels from one floor to another. I plan on checking them out when I go back east and get married over the holidays. We're going to honeymoon in New York City. When do you think we can meet your attorney?"

"I'll wire him on the way over to the restaurant. Be a happy day I can get this building into something useful. I had enough of this cold. Is anyone else hungry but me? My treat!"

They all turned together to begin the trek back out of the building and Jess mumbled,

"Could use a stiff cup of hot coffee…some hot apple pie."

"That sounds good." Maggie joined and grabbed Chuck's elbow with her other hand.

"Put some bourbon in mine." Chuck chucked. "Looks like you're gunna get to see your dreams come true, Momma. Maybe we can get the Doc here to name a wing after you."

"We should be into construction in the spring and hopefully open for business in the year. I'm really started to get excited and you folks have been such a key component to making this happen. I'll be so good for the cattle industry in these areas!" Dr. Tim was beginning to get giddy in anticipation and seemed to be walking a few inches off the ground in happiness.

Unknown to his young prodigy, Chuck planned on giving Jess a commission from the sale of the property as a bird dog finder's fee bringing him a qualified buyer to property he really didn't want. Chuck had his business resources vetting Dr. Tim and found out he was well set in funds and several associates knew Tim's dad and the huge, even wealthy ranch Tim had grown up on in Montana. Chuck was an astute business man, but yet again, conducted his business in confidence. He may not have wanted or needed Denver business district buildings but he wasn't going to give it away either, especially with the incoming railroad growth in the area. And having familiarized himself with Jess' doctor, was happy with the man's integrity. He felt Dr. Tim's idea, moral integrity and qualifications was worth investing in by bringing him onboard the group of executive businessmen he liked to help out.

On the way home to Laramie from the Denver doctor trip Jess found a nice carriage sitting in a yard with a "for sale" sign on it. Considering the upturn in travel ventures and tired of being designated to sit in the back on oat sacks or wood crates with Mike in Slim's small road warrior (small wagon), and knowing they'd never get Daisy on the back of a horse Jess decided to stop and take a look. Over Daisy's initial complaints delaying the trip home he gave it a thorough inspection and then wrangled a trade for the Sherman's smaller wagon they were traveling in plus $100. The couple selling were downsizing from their parent's estate and just wanted it liquidated. It was still in great, nearly new condition, a four person carriage, two padded enclosed bench seats complete with warming compartments and the bricks you pre-heat that go into the bench seats. It had a collapsible surrey roof with side tarps that locked into a folding frame and almost completely enclosed the passenger compartment. It was built on a long, low bed with a low sitting 5'x4' large boxed in cargo extension behind the back seat and sat low on springs riding on 30" wheels with full length splash guards. It could be pulled by one horse but had an interchangeable hitch at the spring pin to a two horse plus it had a matching removable hand-built 6'x8' single axle fully enclosed wood enclosed trailer with a stiff bumper hitch and pin that ponied on behind for more cargo. The whole carriage had been designed and custom built from oak and walnut hard wood and ornamentally carved by a master (Amish) carpenter for this old Denver money family to their specifications as their main vehicle. But one of the parent's had recently died and the unit was collecting dust so the family was selling estate stuff. He made a dadgum find is what happened. Jess was impressed because the fold down roof and the hitch for the extra horse, when not in use, folded down sliding onto the main frame of the foundation making it look like ornamental carving. The tarps were rolled and stowed in the inside bench seats or cargo box on back. Rolled, not folded. If folded, they would crease in heat and cold and eventually break. When rolled inward, the tarps curled inward protecting the passengers from weather and road debris, strapped underneath with tie downs. To make the length of the carriage, the tarps were held together by heavy duty hooks and eyes which included a generous underlying overlap on the inside. They threw in the extra hitch for a two horse since it was made specifically for the buggy, traded horses over to the new buggy and the people kept the Sherman smaller old wagon for market and feed store runs for their carpenter as payment in full. The carpenter was building a new two person buggy version for the family's reduced needs and when done was going to strip down the Sherman wagon to Amish standards because it had "good bones" and just needed a craftsman's tender loving attention. Once Daisy sat down getting back underway she was amazed but happier with a softer, more comfortable ride, the weather proofing which they used going home against the cold wind, and all the cargo space she could fill up with market runs. The deal came along in the nick of time for all the planned trips with the new budding businesses. Jess was just busting his buttons proud of his self over the find and Daisy bragged about him and the deal he made for 2 full days after they got home. He was also rewarded with extra pie for the enclosed option to keep everyone warm or dry and Mike instantly began begging to drive it. Slim was speechless ….Jess and his "dadgum luck" with another one of his deals. Jess then pledged he was going to repack the axles and polish the wood when the weather broke for spring and get the whole unit back to parade ready. He was also going to build a small barn to park it in out of the weather, once he figured out carpentry and the weather warmed up. Until then he and Slim attached a heavy drop down tarp under the lean to and in front of the bunkhouse and the buggy fit perfectly and would be covered when not in use. The cargo trailer was small enough it could be parked and covered either inside the barn or in the new, small pen behind the barn and they built a roof over the pen and attached another tarp.

With four people to transport and their extra luggage, it and the cargo trailer became a life saver and went into immediate service for their vacation trip. Of course nobody else but Jess was allowed to drive it for the first 3 months at least. After all, it was a two horse buggy enclosed unit with a pony trailer and "that takes extra skill." What he found was the weight of the cargo box and or the added trailer steadied the whole unit and gave it balance by weighing the back end, yet not too big to bind the horses down. The balance and turning radius by the exact placement of the wheels in ratio to length was also well calculated that it didn't tip or bind. And although one horse could pull it with a fully loaded trailer, it was just safer and easier on the horse team to use two horses and let them loaf along. Jess was almost giddy considering it was not a horse, he was a single cowboy and vehicles were for families and THIS vehicle was definitely NOT a clumsy stagecoach or a beaten up old family station wagon. (Yes, for my vocal reviewers, the Amish do make pull behind trailers on their buggies and are gifted carpenters.) Since Josie's horse, Scout, was a full blooded Morgan and trained for pulling, until Josie returned they hooked him up and as a chestnut with a flaxen mane and tail he was not only a perfect color match, he seemed to enjoy it. Jess left the passenger compartment tarped to keep the chickens from messing in it or laying eggs someone could accidentally sit on and if they needed supplies from town, they used the buckboard and somebody had to drive Ms. Daisy. That is until she convinced Slim she could drive something that large and heavy, too.

CHAPTER 4: Life Changing Holiday Surprises

It was the second day of the New Year and Jess was back in the hot shower only this wasn't a spa therapy greeting a new chapter in his life. It was just the opposite. He was standing on his aching left leg with the right leg bent and his right arm hanging at his side. His head was leaning on his left forearm against the wall under the shower's downspout that was raining hot, steamy water down his torn up back. The water was running off his wet hair which was nowhere ready to be parted and was dripping forward off his nose. His eyes were closed and he was trembling. Slim had gotten back to the house first and already gone through the shower and was back in his own room where Daisy was tending Slim's injuries so this time it didn't matter how long Jess took in the shower. He was exhausted like never before in his life and the water was soothing his being as his mind began reviewing in memory the chaos of the last 2 weeks.

Things hadn't let up since signing the papers in the fall. After all the construction in the Sherman Valley and new pastures, then viewing the skeleton for the new hospital in Denver they'd gone back to Laramie for a quick preparation for the holiday and then loaded the new buggy and trailer and were headed back to the Wentworth ranch. The Wentworths had invited them to come and stay for the holiday, even the month of December, however long they wanted. So they had decided to take a self rewarded vacation and hired the neighbor, Charlie, to handle the stage traffic through the last 2 weeks of December through the 1st week of January and take care of the milk cow, chickens, Alamo, Scout and the stage teams.

Once they returned to the DKBS for their mini-vacation on the 20th it had been a fast and crammed time at the Wentworths meeting the college kids home for holidays. First came Jeremy's predicted "unannounced" and whirlwind marriage ceremony on the 22nd, next the biggest Christmas Jess had ever known followed now, today by a tragic barn fire claiming the lives of two wonderful people. If life had become more complicated over the last 18 months, it showed no sign of letting up. It hadn't been one vacation, merely one hectic exchanged for another in a different location.

The Laramie group had arrived several days before Christmas to give the college kids a few days home before guests arrived and camped out in their house. Meeting the youngest Wentworth, Jerry, and his fiancé was somewhat cool and aloof only because, as Jr had predicted, all they had on their minds was getting married and doing it during the Christmas break. The family of Jerry's fiancé was nearly non-existent so it fell on Jerry's to get it done. By Jerry's family, that meant Maggie. The guests from Laramie arrived in time to attend the unannounced small family wedding and to see the newlyweds take off for a Christmas honeymoon on their way back for 2 more years of college. The nuptials went fast and mostly smooth for a quickly arranged small church nearly private event and Jess felt sorry for the added pressure it put on Maggie during a holiday scheduled with four guests. But she pulled if off like it had been planned for a year. Before the main family celebratory meal Chuck took the floor and while Chuck didn't disown his son, his college tuition support became limited to keep the boy in college to finish yet not a full free pass anymore for a "son wanting to assume the full responsibilities of manhood." In Chuck's economy he explained,

"A child who expects to live like an adult with adult privileges should then expect to bear the responsibilities of an adult." He further explained that his kids were raised to discipline their bodies and adulthood hormones and abstain from hanky panky freedoms. There is cost called responsibility that comes with privileges of adulthood and once a man steps over that threshold of privilege, he should expect to take on those responsibilities as well and that includes his finances. You simply cannot hide a child and what's done in secret will be found out in public even in front of new partners, guests and family members. While officially welcoming the new bride into the family both of them needed to know that they dishonored themselves and their parents by the pressure they added to the commitment to new family member/s and by not being upfront with the parents to the need for a shotgun wedding. They owed their mother into eternity for springing the event on her during the biggest holiday of the year assuming she had nothing else going on in her life. Responsibility means responsibility and if you take from adulthood privileges, then expect to pay adult prices and no longer be treated as a child. He formally and warmly welcomed the bride to the family and toasted her and then Jerry, offered to let either of them speak their minds AS members of the family or forever hold their peace. Chuck's attitude was gentle but direct and fatherly, not in any embarrassing way but calling a spade a spade and this is what you can expect coming under his name and lineage. Jerry thought for a minute, cleared his voice, stood in respect to his parents and clearly apologized, thanked them for their love and help and understanding and his pledge to follow the rules. He gave Maggie a very tender and sweet kiss on the cheek and she blushed fighting tears of love. The bride was offered the same chance and she also stood and basically duplicated Jerry's actions hoping to make them proud of her as a member of their family.

Slim, Jess, Daisy and Mike along with Jr and his family and Di were all at the table waiting to begin the celebratory dinner and listened respectfully. Although the bride still looked lean and willowy no one was fooled the purpose of the wedding was for a new incoming Wentworth arrival. Anyone could quickly tell the bride was a stunningly beautiful woman hard for any man to resist and had an intelligence and sweetness similar to Maggie which would have drawn Jerry in. She even had a strong Boston accent that was similar to the one now faded in Maggie. After the bride sat back down Chuck looked at the Laramie group and apologized for an unexpected addition to their holiday and vacation plans and thanked them for their patience. If there was a point of protocol not covered, Chuck didn't miss anything. He waited a few seconds for a reply and everyone in order turned their heads toward Slim and his forehead went up in surprise. Both Daisy and Jess had looks of being impressed but also out of their league so Slim cleared his throat, sat forward and offered,

"We appreciate your opening your home and hearts to us and including us in your inner family's celebrations and the holidays. I have found a man of your standing always has words of wisdom and inerrant family guidelines because it has come at a high price over long periods of time. I wish more young people had such a resource to value. Our best to the new family." Short and sweet was Slim's motto.

And he raised his glass of wine to which everyone joined. Jess toasted toward the couple by rote but was glued watching Slim's mouth moving and looked at Daisy mouthing the word "inerrant?" wondering what it meant. She smiled. Jess was amazed how and where Slim came up with just the right thing to say being Slim was only a year or so older, plus all the fancy smanchy words. Seeing Jess' facial expressions and easily able to read him, from the corner of his eye Slim lightly tilted his head to the side and smiled at Jess, well, smirked really at upstaging Jess is more like it. Chuck smiled an acknowledgement and then opened the dinner to eat. Once the noise of serving and eating began Daisy quietly thanked Slim for his words and Jess mumbled, "I wish I'da had a Dad who'd have been so wise." It was a mumble but loud enough everyone heard it and a few briefly looked his direction.

"You mean inerrant?" Daisy whispered sideways at Jess and then fluttered her eyelashes and smiled at him. Jess' head raised ever so slightly gaining understanding and muttered back,

"Ya, that or one that cared." He added while passing the serving dish of potatoes with one hand and then quickly passing a morsel of meat to Sasha who was at her station under his chair.

The newlyweds took off that evening for their honeymoon and as the holiday celebrations commenced, meeting Chuck's lifelong pard, Elroy was fine because Elroy was exactly as Chuck had described him as a solid, best friend and business partner you could bank your life on. But his daughter Kensie was a bit of a surprise. Jess and Slim had believed she was supposed to be a pretty and very classy, well-educated ranch daughter. Kensie was Di's lifetime best buddy and she was gorgeous, but Kensie also turned out to be a very vivacious, even bodacious, hot-blooded Irish woman fierier in spunk and bravado than Jess had ever been in his teens. She was a beautiful young woman but she knew it all too well and had the energy that could fully operate a locomotive and couldn't seem to stay seated for any length of time. Early in their visit Jess had been the first to pick up on something wrong because he could read Sasha and while Kensie was the true owner of Sasha, the pup hadn't seemed at all comfortable with her owner and that was killing Jess. Kensie had noted early in their acquaintance that Sasha seemed to hang close to Jess. Even after repeatedly being repositioned by Kensie to her own lap, within moments Sasha would find a way back to Jess and try to hunker down behind him and he'd cover her up with his large mitt and a solid poker face. Then shortly after that to Jess' shagreen, Sasha was left at Kensie's house and immediately Jess' shoulders dropped and he had a look of abandonment shadow his face. During times the families were together during supper and dessert an obviously flirty Kenzie drew a bead on Jess among other coquettish behavior that was quite embarrassing to Jess, well to anyone who noticed. She continually showed up in various red, very tight fitting dresses with low cut necklines. Her words directed to him or about him were very suggestive and she had no problem being overly familiar um..…in contact with parts of his anatomy. Slim, as a guy, easily and quickly picked up on Jess' attempted counter moves trying to maintain the societal standards of the day. Typical to Jess' manners with all women, mostly he re-directed her hands by moving his body part away but she'd push those aside and keep coming at him. At first Slim was amused because it looked like just another mild exercise easily handled by Jess' years of experience with interested ladi…um females. But her persistent peskiness quickly became a work out causing Jess to completely remove his self from the vicinity, such as putting himself physically inside a group of people. He'd even sit at the table or on a couch between people and she'd still come stand behind him and keep stroking his head, or hair, or sideburns, or rubbing down his back, maybe petting his arms which if you looked closer was more touchy feeling his muscles. That was accompanied by several times leaning over frontally in her low cut dress and whispering in his ear all but shoving her um…ample and perky peeking assets into his nose or mouth. The only thing that hadn't happened yet was an "accidental slip needing his catch" or some variation of that well known maneuver, but that idea wasn't floating too far away. Slim noticed at least one time when Jess was standing talking business with Chuck and Elroy there was several passes of her hand lingering on and feeling the dimensions of Jess' bum which was then headed around his hip to the front. There was no doubt where she was headed because she was positioning herself for a body line up to hide her hands. In a previous conversation Jess had told Slim his definition of this female maneuver he called "slithering." She was flirty alright but subtlety was not in her vocabulary. As she made the corner Jess' actual complexion under the ever present scruff noticeably deepened. Unknown to her she was tracing the path of some serious and untoughened, still highly sensitive barbed wire scars as well as just general trespassing. Daisy noticed Mike watching and it was so noticeably inappropriate she quickly put her hand across Mike's face unsure if Jess was about to explode. Had it been a man pestering Jess in those ways, there quickly and definitively would have been a short but impressive, fully loaded, double shot load right- cross to a pertinent nose beginning an all-out brawl requiring Slim and at least one, maybe two other strong men to pull Jess off. Slim had seen that particular loaded move come all the way up from Jess' boots and lift men twice Jess' size off their feet and half way across a room. Smart people didn't line up for Jess' not only well trained but deeply experienced measures of self-protection and Kensie obviously was not reading Jess' face. But Slim approved of Jess' response as it was also all "Jess." In split second timing averting the arrival at the goal line, in an unhurried slick move Chuck and Elroy's not-quite-empty shot glasses were lofted from their hands in the same move Jess smoothly pirouetted effortlessly and helped himself to Chuck's bar to refill them for the two men. Chuck's bar was two steps away, a 'one person' size, very narrow aisle and it very effectively and safely isolated his body as Chuck and Elroy followed him to lean on the bar. At the same time before Kensie could adjust by moving around the two senior men, the ever prudent and observing mother instinct in Maggie slid smoothly up to the entry of the said aisle as though but not really interested in their cattle conversation effectively cutting off access to anyone trying to follow him into the tight space and trap Jess inside the aisle. It also controlled Jess' freedom for choosing his own egress whenever he deemed it safe to leave the cubby hole. She even slid a bar stool in place, sat down and asked Jess for a sniffer of brandy covertly winking at him and his eyes twinkled as he smiled knowingly at her maneuver and then very proficiently tended bar. In fact, it had never occurred to Slim before but by the manner in which Jess began handling a bar towel and then re-lining up various bottles in order, he seemed to be well experienced at bartending, perhaps some previous job. Not a saloon bartender slinging whiskey or beer, but one from high society actually mixing drink concoctions. Slim followed but he stationed his self safely on the other side of Chuck and Elroy. It didn't take long for the entire household to begin noticing the on-going one-sided efforts to engage in a pas de deux, everyone except Elroy who doted on his daughter and only living relative. And they noticed Jess' proper attempts to control her politely and try not to make any scene. [I could go further about the details over the 2 days but that only makes the story longer which irritates some of my readers who like to write reviews.] Suffice it to say, Jess was extremely uncomfortable. But he handled his self with the debonair discipline and manners of a cowboy albeit he was one micro-step away from hauling her down the hall, or out the front door and putting her in her place with a well-placed hiding. Slim, Daisy, Di and Maggie were extremely impressed and proud of Jess, later Chuck was when Maggie told him. A lessor man would have found a way to accept her advances with all speed and without remorse find an isolated location and promptly help himself to what she was advertising whether or not she fully intended on going through with her offers.

Other than Jess' physical workout trying to stay ahead of Kensie's hormones, things seemed to reach a climax at the Christmas Eve party with them at the Wentworth's home. During the dinner, dessert and brandy where he'd successfully eluded her, opting for a more direct maneuver around the fireplace after supper she then brought and insisted he open her Christmas gift to him. All truth be told it was embarrassing to everyone except Kenzie as she had an attitude expecting whatever she wanted done to be done without hesitation or question much like an only child who wanted for nothing in her doting father's eyes. Neither Slim nor Daisy had ever seen Jess so uncomfortable throughout the entire half day into evening from her advances in spite of his vast experience fending off women and his best efforts to remain neutral. When he politely tried to postpone the gift to the next morning when it was planned everyone would be opening all gifts including the 'family gift' type of gifts from the Laramie folks, her red-headed Irish temper exploded, she threw a huffy fit and dragged her dad home cutting short the festivities. Her dad became aware of her extracurricular actions only from the afternoon and he became completely embarrassed, apologized to Chuck's guest promising to have a talk with his daughter as he was hauled out the door. If Jess would've known she'd explode like that, he'd have gladly opened the gift which ended up being some homemade fudge and decorated cookies he wasn't even convinced she had made with her own hands. When Chuck and Maggie profusely apologized, Jess had diplomatically passed it off as leftovers from wedding fever and holiday fluids and to think nothing more about it. It made Slim and Daisy proud of Jess but in private later, both Slim and he had quickly decided she was not a contender for any future with either of them as quite likely her volatile personality would be the very type that could start the next Indian war. Jess seemed depressed after that when they were alone and all Slim could get from him was his deep concern about Sasha. But he could also see a very deep, sad depression in Jess without having his "little nurse" under foot and constantly snuggled into him when he was off his feet. Jess shook his head in the shower and swiped the water running off on his nose remembering how close a call dealing with Kensie had been and how integral dealing with her could upset the whole apple cart of business they had just loaded their entire lives into putting everything at risk….even Slim's original homestead. One ill-advised compromise move with a new partner's partner via that (spoiled and manipulative) daughter could have compromised the entire deal. It caused him to only dig deeper into his resolve at the safety of a fast horse… maybe find a way to build a knap sack he could hang around his self and then abscond with Sasha and keep the 1134 away from a certain red-hot Irish woman in heat. (dial 1134 into a calculator and turn it upside down.)

Jess shuffled on his feet and tried to put his weight on the right leg but it screamed and he had to put it back on his left. Diana, however, Chuck and Maggie's second child was the most pleasurable part of the entire Christmas trip. She was not only a stunningly gorgeous younger version of Maggie but maybe a little shy and was Maggie's shadow as the hostess entertainer. When she was not helping Maggie like a hand in glove she was hovering nearby her father and yet warm and open to the Laramie guests. By the end of Christmas, the finish with her younger brother's wedding and their departure, and Kensie's disappearance back to her ranch by her dad's confinement for the week between Christmas and New Year's, Jess had turned up his charm one notch in her direction. Kensie's outburst seemed to have backed Diana into the background and everyone seemed to take note of Maggie and Chuck gathering Diana from behind them and bringing her arm and arm beside them with quiet smiles of encouragement. So he was trying to reassure her, too, that he had not been fatally destroyed by her best friend's poorly chosen embarrassing escapade and tried to get her to relax and open back up, at least offer a small smile, which of course he succeeded. Nobody could resist a direct dial of a fully loaded "Jess-smile" mounted with a light scruff and twinkly blue eyes looking up through a forest of eyelashes and framed with one lifted eyebrow peeking out from under nearly black wavy hair. Her instant melt into a beautiful, blushing smile in response came with the cutest giggle framed by raised shoulders. It was the giggle that instantly captured Jess and he automatically reached to encircle her, she surrendered wiping away a happy tear and they ended up in the sweetest hug with the side-step little dance that reminded Slim of the twin-hugs with Josie. Everyone noticed Diana's whole body just instantly relax the moment she was encircled by the "Jess-hug" his nose tucked near her ear being almost a tickle…..meaning he was whispering sweet nothings into it. Not seen but without a doubt she instantly broke out in a sudden assault of goosebumps under her more modest and completely appropriate holiday dress that perfectly complimented her peachy cream colored complexion and light blue eyes framed by stacks upon stacks of immaculately coiffured golden curls piled on her head and cascading down her back. After that moment Diana began opening like a beautiful rose bud releasing a freshness of innocent purity into whatever room she was in as the more she relaxed and knew someone, the more effervescent she became. Jess had noticed Diana had been observing both Slim and himself from the safety of her father's elbow during their visit. But hers was an intelligent perkiness and he could read she had a playfulness tanned with manners yet it was held in reserve until she got to know a person better. In hindsight, Jess thought, reaching out to Diana's humanity to rekindle her confidence was among the top deecisions he'd ever made and was confirmed by the events that happened next as she freely came more and more out of her shell answering the needs of events that almost devastated the family.

Then came today. It was the 2nd day of the New Year with everyone scheduled to return to normal life and head home and college on the 3rd. So today was scheduled as a rest and pack for home day and a breakfast buffet was up per usual for a holiday until 10 am. By 9:30 am sleepy people had started filtering into the dining room where only Maggie, Di, Daisy and Mike had eaten. Most everyone had barely arrived ready to go through the buffet, Slim had sat down and wolfed half his breakfast down just because he's a guy, was starving hungry and they take large mouthfuls. Jess had just picked up a plate and was reaching for the serving spoon when Jr came charging in the front door yelling Elroy's main barn had caught fire. It was an obviously huge all involved fire from his attitude departure from the normally calm management leader. The whole place jumped in a pre-planned cued alarm and much like the events during the fall at the Sherman Ranch, the entire DKBS ranch went into offense mode like a well-drilled army with wagon loads of wranglers being hauled to Elroy's ranch to join the firefighting effort. On a spread this huge and set up 3 ranches side by side, any fire is EVERYONE's business. Even Maggie and Diana had a medical wagon delivered to the door and they grabbed Daisy throwing on coats and jackets and followed to set up a triage for injuries. Jr's wife Bessy, who'd begun fighting morning sickness, was left with their toddler and Mike and Ada at the house to clean up and then prepare a lunch to come.

Without waiting for an invitation or approval Jess and Slim jumped on one of the hand wagons as it drove by. Jess was pulling his jacket on with one hand and with the other cramming a handful of bacon into a folded dry pancake which was at the same time being jammed into his mouth inhaling it as they rolled over to the barn. They both piled right into the middle of the water line while he was still trying to swallow. The last bite of dry pancake became bird food in one deft toss as he leaned down to pick up his first bucket. The water line, however, was running pretty raggedly and since nobody seemed to be in charge Slim started lining hands up in better order so they weren't running into each other coming and going. Then they heard Elroy and some hands were late bringing out the next group of stabled horses. As they approached the barn door to go help retrieve horses, the hands were carrying Elroy from the barn and he was deceased, best they could tell from a very nasty and large head injury. The head injury was worse than things Slim had seen during the war and he almost barfed up his hastily eaten breakfast. As he paused to try to hold his stomach in control Jess whizzed by him headed into the burning barn and seeing Jess run by headlong was enough to change Slim's stomach ideas of the reverse transport of food and he ran after Jess. Somebody needed to…. knowing Jess and his attachment to animals. Kensie had run up to her dad just as Slim and Jess went into the barn to retrieve the prize stud named Bolero. He was reportedly still in his stall at the back end of the barn that was by now disintegrating and raining pieces of lumber on fire down on the remaining horses at the back. Nobody could get close to his frantic panic, or at the least were afraid of his 1500 pounds of pure stallion spirit and size. You could easily hear the ruckus he was raising from his stall would have put the clamor of a very large parade noise to shame.

In the smoke of the barn Jess had found the stud's stall first and gotten a halter to him. The stud had reared in fear of the fire and like most horses was convinced his stall was by far still the safest location and it was the humans who were going rabid, screaming, throwing water and ropes everywhere. Jess had gotten his hand into the halter and was going for his shirt to cover the stud's face but with the stud's dancing his hand slipped through the web and got tangled just as a burning piece of wood had fallen on the mane catching it on fire. With the stud rearing up and down, Jess had nearly climbed the horse's neck using his legs and had reached the mane and with his left hand patted the fire out burning his hand. But losing his right hand through the halter loosened his legs and already in panic mode the stud's front hooves had repeatedly clobbered the front of his body mostly his right thigh all around where it had been broken earlier last year in the buckboard accident. A huge piece of timber on fire then fell on Jess' right shoulder and down his back as Slim caught up. Slim saw him losing control of the stud because his legs were being kicked out from under him but Jess refused to turn loose of the halter using his weight in anchoring the stallion from an all-out burst through the walls of the stall. Slim could see Jess was intentionally using his weight to drag the stallion down preventing the horse from plowing through the stall so from Slim's advantaged height, he put his shirt over the stud's head which brought all of the stud's hooves to the ground and was the only way they got the stallion to move from his stall.

Barely started to the barn door now following Slim and Bolero, Jess heard a female screaming in pain and turned seeing Kensie trying to follow them and falling down. Her clothes were fully on fire as was her waist length dark red hair flying lose all around her. Jess turned and picked her up and while carrying her a few feet he saw some horse stall blankets not on fire and dove her into them and covered her with the blankets and his body trying to snuff out the flames. Several hands had run up and covered them in dripping wet saddle blankets and a couple spare well placed buckets full of water putting out the remainder of the flames. Sopping wet and covered in smoke, ash and both barn debris and some from her body, Jess carried her outside to the triage area Maggie had set up. Sadly, Kensie passed from third degree burns all over her body within minutes.

For Jess it all began to get fuzzy after that and was when the ranch's ammunition stash stored in or near the barn then caught fire and rounds began going off and flying through the air in every direction like a fireworks show. Diana was standing leaning over Kenzie and Jess with her hands over her mouth in horror having just watched Kenzie pass. Jess hauled Di to the ground and covered her with his body just as a round went through his flank above the same right hip which had just mended from barbed wire gashes. Unknown and unaware if or how much of his own body had been burned from contact with Kensie, barely holding onto consciousness Jess remembered looking into Diana's face. While still covering her body with his their eyes met about 6 inches apart and unable to explain it other than an instantaneous bonding, their spirits connected for a few seconds in utter peace and they kissed. Out of all the fuzziness that began to enshroud him, Jess could distinctly remember the look in Diana's eyes had been tormented by the horror going on around them, but at the moment they connected everything went silent and her eyes had flickered a peace and confidence as though they'd grown up together. Her instant confidence had triggered his kiss accepting her trust and then the commotion pushed back in. Slim had pulled Daisy to the ground and Chuck was covering Maggie behind the medic wagon. Another crate of ammunition triggered by the heat of the fire went off and Jess covered her again. It was even more hazy from there as his body began going into shock from his injuries and he had to fight to retain consciousness. The horses were saved but the ranch's entire main barn complex burnt to the ground including the feed in the loft and all their tack.

After the ammunition stash exhausted itself the wet and muck covered wranglers began surfacing from all their hidey holes and milling around in shock and exhaustion. Slim made sure Daisy was ok and vertical and Chuck checked on Maggie who was trying to help Slim get his shirt back on and grabbed an extra coat from their medic wagon for him. Slim was so covered in ash and soot it was not possible to tell if he'd been burned, or that he was blond. Diana was helping Jess to his feet and he was the last one up struggling with body parts that were oddly not working. He was wobbling and staggered into the medic wagon while rearranging torn clothing making sure he was decent because his thighs were completely numb and he felt like most of the front of his body was naked because he was wet and in a breeze. Slim was looking everyone over for injuries while he got his shirt on and accepting the coat from Maggie he walked over to Jr and Elroy's foreman, Joe. Slim suggested to Joe to have some of the hands begin putting the displaced and valuable stalled remuda from the outside pens they'd been rushed into and set them up in south end of the indoor arena that was next to the burnt barn. His purpose was to get the wet horses out of the winter weather and to help keep the men moving in order to stay warm. Slim asked Jr if his hands could go retrieve a good supply of hay and oats and water buckets to share with the displaced remuda. In typical Jr response of jumping the whole ranch into action, he nodded eagerly, popped Slim on the back and immediately rounded up his men with a whistle through his teeth to head the wagons to go retrieve supplies. Every DKBS wrangler ran to answer their next duty. The foreman, Joe, overheard and thanked Slim and Slim suggested to Joe also having any spare men poke through and spread out the piles of smoldering ashes to prevent them from re-firing and the foreman immediately complied. Daisy noticed Slim's lower leg bleeding badly and captured him by the arm back to the medic wagon to take an inspection of his injury. It turned out to be a through shot from a stray bullet that had gone through the thickest part of his calf muscle and he wasn't even aware he'd been hit.

During the college holiday time at home after Kensie'd determined that Sasha was paying too much attention to Jess, Sasha had been returned to Kensie at her house. With her absence for a good week, through the week Slim had noticed Jess wandering around looking around for her and finding her missing. He seemed depressed or like a boat that had slipped its shore anchor and was adrift. But just as the fire was put out Elroy's house maid came running out panicking grabbing Diana and looking for Kensie. All Jess could understand from the emotional maid's broken language was she was exclaiming something like the "perro pequeno loca" meaning "small dog was going crazy" inside the house and nobody could get close to her. Sasha was such a light weight, small dog, the maid was afraid she was going to break all her legs bouncing from furniture to furniture. So while Slim got the wranglers busy putting the horses into the indoor arena Diana grabbed Jess and with Maggie went to the house. Jess was barely able to stand and his eyes were getting glassy struggling with shock from his own injuries and burns; wet and filthy shivering in nearly shredded clothing from Bolero's fear on the cold January day. Hugging his chest he had to stop a couple times to cough barn smoke and catch his breath in between grimaces because the coughing rocked on his shoulder, but he had overheard the concern about Sasha and nothing was going to hold Jess back from checking things out. Scarcely inside the front door and being assisted to walk, er… that is being accompanied by Diana while crouched over holding his wounded side and severely limping, Jess barely cooed "lina" in his deep voice even more raspy being peppered in ash. Out of nowhere Sasha came flying into his arms as if somebody had thrown her hard across the room and he had to take a half step back to balance himself and capture her preventing her falling out of his arms by gravity. Nobody threw her, nobody could catch her up TO have thrown her. She just ran and jumped hard into his core. She was whining, shrieking really and violently trembling, immediately trying to crawl inside the front of his torn and burnt shirt. She was always a well-manicured and an immaculately clean pooch, but his skin was torched sensitive and her toenails didn't help the raw burns on his chest, arms and upper back. It was no surprise to anyone that she quickly began calming down in his arms as he immediately began cooing into and kissed her ears. He'd completely enwrapped her body with his large hands trying to gently restrain her legs from crawling up his chest and onto the top of his head all while tears escaped down his charcoal dusted face overwhelmed by the pup's sheer terror. The maid provided him a huge, thick bath towel to cushion himself and he managed to find the hidden "off" switch to the pup's shrieking, but she still refused to leave his shirt. She was all cuddled up, her warm nose in his ear, her paws folded tightly in his neck under his chin still trembling albeit with a softer whine. She wouldn't leave him to go to Maggie or Diana either as any attempt to move her from Jess' hands threatened the 'shriek' button and her legs began climbing again. Jess could take any kind of torture man could hand out on his own person, and he was well known to pile into five men in a saloon fight, but he couldn't handle a trembling animal in distress. So nobody was sure if Jess had Sasha, or Sasha had Jess. Suffice it to say, they were enshrouded within the thick towel and hell would freeze over before they would be separated. Somebody shoved a chair under Jess' bum just in the nick of time and with Maggie and Diana's help trying to hold her hind legs off of Jess' shredded lap, Jess finally got her wrapped in the thick towel and folded closed like a baby in a swaddling blanket capturing and folding her delicate legs. A blanket arrived and was wrapped around Jess who had begun shivering and was ashen white with cold skin temperatures. Sasha toned down to a soft whimper with her warm nose pointed over his shoulder tucked under his ear listening to him coo to her under his breath in a deep bass resonance. Her shriek quieted to an unbroken trembling whine as she seemed to be expounding quietly into his ear emotionally telling her side of the frightful story, apparently having watched the entire event from the living room floor to ceiling window. Jess' tears became mixed with the smoky ash and sweat from his face falling into his eyes causing them to burn more and tear worse yet he couldn't turn loose of Sasha and there was not enough clothing on his shoulders he could swipe his face on. Finally as the trembling calmed down, the maid had brought a fairly wet warm face cloth to Maggie who gently wrung the cloth over Jess' eyes and then wiped the mess from Jess' face trying to alleviate the stinging eyes covered in ash and smoke debris and he used a corner of the towel to dry his face. It got most of the debris, but the residue burning irritation still caused him limited sight. Between Diana helping Jess hold onto Sasha against his disturbed right shoulder, and Maggie and Jess working on Jess' face so he could see, everyone began to breathe again. Well, Jess was trying to breathe through the coughing but his shoulder was beginning to get through the chaos to lodge its complaints and his lungs were hurting. After getting the top layer of mess off his face, he took a few seconds to put his nose into the ruff at Sasha's neck while still cooing softly into her ear fringes but secretly he was blowing some warm breath over her windpipe to help calm her. He finally gained several moments of eye contact with her while still softly cooing encouragements and reassurance that she was still alive, the fire breathing monster threatening her universe had been extinguished. She could hear from his voice he was not mocking her which further calmed her and she managed to lick his nose with several deep meaningful swipes in between whimpers with a newer tone that was almost apologetic. The maid explained in Spanish to Maggie that it was Sasha who had gone nuts at the back door causing them to open the solid door and look out alerting them the barn was in flames. Nobody knew how the fire had gotten started, perhaps a suspect poorly extinguished cigarette caught a breeze, but once the door was opened they could hear the flames sounded like a stampede and feel the heat. Jess was wobbling pretty badly by then. First his mother and infant sister died in a fire, then Kensie did die on fire in his arms, now his four-legged nurse was terrified by a fire breathing monster at a distance half a block away. His nerves were shot and it seemed like Sasha's vibrating transferred deep inside his body. But at least she had been rescued, her quivering eased off and Jess could feel her body relax and she began breathing in a normal pattern again. He finally pulled her in tight under his chin whispering in her ear, "I've gotcha, Sash, I'm not gunna lose you, too." She whined quietly in response and leaned into his chest.

Jess was surrounded in the warm mist and propped up under the refreshing hot running water of the shower while Sasha was just inches away outside the shower's curtain nested on his clean towels in the bathroom. Jess really couldn't remember how he had gotten from Elroy's house and back to Chuck's, only that Sasha never left his arms and other than knowing everyone else was safe, he didn't care. Since he couldn't remember, he suspected that he'd passed out getting into one of the wagons and the short ride back, but that didn't matter either. Aside from the sound of the water in the shower, the silence in the small room was Jess' sanity where he and Sasha grabbed moments to re-group and try to take a deep breath or two….when he wasn't coughing smoke. Sasha was still clinging but she drew the line at actually getting wet going into the shower because, as Maggie explained once, participation in human bathing rituals was just not her favorite thing. They constantly got water inside her voluminous ears and she absolutely hated water in her ears. Once she figured out Jess was in the shower and the water began running she had resolved to being put down on the towels and Jess removing his hands….but she whimpered as she circled about 100 times and finally laid down as though softly begging him to hurry.

For Jess, getting in and out of the tub to operate the shower and moving around the room was easily done hanging onto the various clothes or towel rods affixed to the walls everywhere. They were holding the fancy ornamental towels and face cloths that he still wasn't sure was supposed to be used. They were also too pretty for his scruff which he was positive would shred them. While still in the shower standing was getting harder by the minute and Jess finally turned the hot water off. He could have stayed there with the hot water for a longer time purging the smoke, filth and especially the stench of burning human flesh and hair from his being but he wasn't sure how much hot water was available and knew there were others in line for clean up. Jess flicked back the shower curtain immediately seeing his right thigh in full color as the steaminess began to clear. That answered why the leg was screaming, again. Well, no surprise there. The entire top of the thigh, waist to below the knee was now fully bruised again and the edge of the front hoof's horseshoe had dragged a one inch wide vertical ridge down the tender inner side of the thigh. It was a closed gash that began about 2" down from his femur artery clear down to the inside of the knee below the knee cap causing a deeper streak and a deeply colored closed groove that looked like an open cut without the broken skin. He shook his head seeing the damage but in some relief. Two inches higher on that groove in his inner thigh and he'd have been moved to singing in the tenor section…maybe soprano. That grooved skin was already singing in nerve sensitivity like fingernails on a chalkboard and he could tell just the sheer touch of fabric to that groove, with the swelling too, was going to be excruciatingly uncomfortable worse than skin sensitivity during a bout of flu. His left knee was almost as badly beaten up by circular hoof imprints now bruising up quickly. He winced as his left hand tenderly inspected it, but bending over provoked the right shoulder and he had to stand back up stiffly and gasp for air against the pain and humidity affecting his lungs still aggravated by the smoke. He could feel other tender areas, on his lower right front ribs and his right wrist, but there was no color yet and he had dozens of cuts all over his forearms. One thing barns had plenty of was old manure and it stunk fierce in a fire. Worse than that, the stench of burnt human flesh and hair was…. He looked around the bathroom for less ornamental towels and found he was going to have to tug the thick, fluffy towels out from under Sasha. She'd finally stopping whining and trembling, was convinced to turn loose of his neck, but she was not leaving his side. She figured that the towels had been placed on the shelf beside the shower for her benefit as warm padding for the hard shelf sitting next to the tub. He tugged but she didn't move and just lovingly began licking his wet hand offering to groom him dry as any good momma dog would do.

"That's sweet, Sash, but your tongue'd be exhausted covering all my territory. Better let me have the towel and you can save some kisses for later." He cooed.

He softly brushed the top of her head and then down the side of her face. She leaned her cheek into his gentle touch and blinked slowly but didn't stop licking. Bending down to her would have been painful, so he gently took the corner of the towel and tugged it free while she sat up relinquishing her soft spot. He was glad she was one of those dogs who was always clean about herself. He noticed her muzzle and eyes looked soaked from probable tears and held residue from contact with his dirty body. He grabbed his wet washing cloth and tenderly wiped her face then used the corner of the towel to softly dry it and topped off with a kiss to the top of her nose. No sense in her trying to lick that off using her front paws…she'd never get it done. That seemed to stop her offered licking on him for some reason.

"Thanks for warming it up for me, girl!"

Jess flipped the towel over his back gingerly with his left hand that was griping with the burns from the fire. The right shoulder was in no mood or condition to move at all and the arm hung at his side so the drying effort was quickly abbreviated. He was set to put the towel down again when a soft rap on the door changed his mind. He quickly tried to wrap it around his middle having only limited success one handed and trying to use the sink counter. All too fresh memories of being ejected from this bathroom in his birthday suit earlier last fall caused him to startle and it landed him on his right leg which immediately collapsed under him. He had to grab the leg and sink and stifle a scream of pain, the forgotten towel dropped to the floor. It was Maggie's sweet voice that followed the rap on the door.

"I didn't know which clothes you wanted to put on, so I left the big robe for you to use. It's next to the sink." Her voice was soft and encouraging. "Daisy's working on Slim in his bedroom, but I could get Poppa if you need some help." She offered sweetly.

Jess quickly grabbed the robe tossing the towel from the floor back toward Sasha where it landed over her head and she promptly curled down underneath its freshly infused scent of her favorite human. Jess grimaced harshly as he sat down on the lowered lid of the commode. Every part of his body was screaming in either exhaustion or pain but he managed to get the robe on pulling it close to his body and tied it off best he could one-handed.

" 'at's ok, Ma'am…" then mumbled, "…been doing this since I was knee-high to a…..toad" and back to full volume… "I got it." He tried to sound strong but his voice was wobbling as badly as his leg.

He looked quickly into the mirror around the wet condensation and saw a head full of wavy hair going every which way and a good start to the scruff and shook his head softly in discouragement. The scruff would have to wait because carving his face was a two handed job and the tender left hand and griping right shoulder was winning the argument against any movement. The hair…well, that would have to wait, too. He was just hurting too much and getting dressed and falling into that cloud filled bed was about all he had left in the energy reserve. If he could just sneak into that bed and hide with Sasha he'd be happy, and the world might stop spinning,….and they could warm each other up….at least he had Sasha back….wonder how cold it was outside? He looked at the closed door grateful it wasn't moving, then over at Sasha's nose just peeking out from under the thick towel and lifted a corner of it. Their guest bathroom door was at the end of the hallway to their bedrooms and his bedroom door was in the same corner but he'd not anticipated a waiting crowd.

"Wasn't expecting you two ladies to be waiting on me or I'da brought in my fresh clothes. How about you go fetch them from my bed? They're in the luggage thing. It's not hard, you know, the jeans and the blue shirt? Can't miss. Oh and don't forget the underwear." He tried to coax Sasha to help nudging her shoulder with the side of his knuckle but she didn't even lift her head and just blinked at him and thumped her tail slightly. "Ya, shoulda figured that…..you're one of them."

Jess dropped the towel back on her and looked helplessly around the bathroom while looking dejected at his robe that had come untied allowing all kinds of breeze all over his entire body. The room seemed very warm to stuffy, but his skin felt clammy and cold and under the surface. Inside his body he was burning up in heat and at the same time shivering cold like outside in winter without a coat. He felt strange. Really strange. If he moved too fast, the room began to wobble like being in a boat without an oar, or trying to stand up after landing on the back of his neck getting bucked off a rank animal. He was shivering but couldn't tell if it was a cold room or inside where his nerves were shot. He tried one more pull on the half hitch tie but his tug wasn't strong enough against the thick belt and the one end stretched all the way to the floor where it pooled near his bare feet. "Good thing I'm ground tied…" It was an attempt at humor but didn't even make sense to him…. they train horses to not move when the reins are dropped to the ground making them stand still. His robe's belt was pulling loose and falling to the ground like reins, but in real time, unfortunately, that wasn't what kept him from moving.

It had been quiet in the hall for several minutes so Jess decided to take a peek around the bathroom door to see if he had clearance to make it to the bedroom in the robe where his fresh clothes were flopped over the opening of the luggage sitting on the foot of the bed waiting for him. So close but so far away. No one was in sight so hanging onto the walls to assist his balance he slipped stealthily through the doorway, peeked into the bedroom and it was clear so he eased quietly into the room and closed the bedroom door behind him. Poor Sasha had to move in a hurry but she managed to slip in at his heels with her tail feathers barely clearing the door as it closed softly. Jess limped to the bed and sat down on the corner next to his pile of clothes. Sasha made it to the pillow in 3 hops and after circling about 20 times, finally laid down to watch satisfied at recognizing a routine and being back on her favorite bed where she truly belonged surrounded by Jess scent.

Jess quickly found dressing himself was going to be a huge problem. His right shoulder and back was still screaming making his right arm useless, the right leg was already swollen from the new bruising making it unbendable causing him to doubt the tight jeans would even make it to his waist and his left hand was beginning to puff into red second degree blisters from all the moisture in the shower. Inspecting his hand he ranked the burns and the coverage on his hand sufficient they would be very annoying, mostly second degree blisters, but thankfully nothing black. His flank bullet wound was throbbing but numb…the headache? Oh ya, stopping to look things over, it was throbbing indeed it had long passed the initial symptoms of a hangover….. if the room would just quit spinning! The stomach? It was a mess….so hungry it literally hurt like when he was a teen after his birth home had burnt to the ground. He'd sworn to himself to never get that hungry again. At the same time it was so nauseated from the aromas of the fire…. those stenches would take years to erase. Hungry hurting and not sure the stomach could take food…that was new… and horrible. Cowboy was not feeling so good and he sat slumped on the corner foot of the bed simply unable to gather enough whatever ….to move.

The door between their adjoining rooms was open and sitting on the foot corner of the bed he did not have clear sight of Slim's room but he could begin to hear Maggie, Di and Daisy talking in the next room. Daisy was not quite done putting the finishing touches on doctoring Slim's injuries. He'd heard Slim had been hit with a wild bullet in his right calf, a through shot and he had burned hands and other various minor burns and bruises. Jess figured if he dressed quietly, no one would notice he was there and he could sneak under the covers and disappear with Sasha. Di was standing in the open doorway but on Slim's side with her back to him, unknown to him Maggie had a view of the pillows of his bed and had seen Sasha land on the pillow and knew Jess had arrived on the bed. Mothers know things. Jess was slumped on the bed staring at the jeans in his left hand. He'd gotten his shorts on ok under the robe but that was because they were soft and pliable, and short, but the jeans were stiffer and wouldn't lay straight down his legs so he could feed them on. In his exhaustion he was trying to figure out if he got the left leg on first would the right one bend enough being swollen, or should he do the right leg first, but the left knee wouldn't bend? The robe's tie hadn't gotten tied all that tightly and was gaping open over the colorful right thigh and beginning to hang down off his back. It was too sore to shrug it back up and he could begin to feel burn injuries to his upper back as the cooler air reached them. That was a sensation of freezing burn. Beyond the calculations of the calisthenics facing him getting his clothes on, Jess was just plain out of energy and he shook his head. The last real food he'd had was an early supper the night before, it was now early evening by the darkness settling in. The fire alarm had gotten everyone out in the day earlier that morning with not even coffee. Couple strips of bacon and half a 4" pancake does not count as food. When it's inhaled, it's only a snack and it was inhaled so that doesn't count as a meal... he thought he …. musta inhaled the food. He remembered picking them up and running out the door, not so much the chewing and swallowing….maybe he didn't get but a bite. It was so long ago. Fighting a fire in a barn that held 40 or so stalls large enough to double bunk horses was huge and exhausting work of itself but then there had been the rescue of a barn loaded with panicking 1500 pound experienced cattle trained Quarter horses through the fire, plus the uncooperative 15 hand prize stallion, part of the barn timber falling on his shoulder felt like half the barn had clobbered him. Then finding Kensie staggering toward him on fire and needing to carry her 120 pounds out with his body already torn and then the ammunition storage going up in flames….worse on top of that was nearly losing Sasha again. It was all just too much for one day…especially with no food or even coffee. Now it was even a fight for something as simple as getting dressed. All he wanted to do was fall over in the bedding and pull the downy bedding over his head, even if it was without any clothing….he'd slept in his shorts before. It's just that he was chilling to the bone and for some obstinate reason his mind was insisting on layers of clothes. Under all that downy filled bedding, what difference would clothes make? Nagging the back of his brain he sensed the heaviness of the air tending to indicate a weather change coming which only compounded the ache part of the pain…..if he could just get his body to obey his brain's orders to move. He wasn't even sure now having sat down that he could even move to get between the sheets…..of that cloud…maybe if the room would stop spinning. And his stomach, too….don't move too fast, self, with those lingering stenches circulating if two of the right ones crossed paths that tummy would eject nothing with no excuses needed. The only thing worse than hurting hunger is pitching up empty gut fluid through your nose. Well, even worse would be doing that in this beautiful room because there was just no way he could move to get back to the bathroom's commode fast enough…..dadgum…. breathe Jess…try… but slow and easy. He wanted to just lay back on the bed but he knew the moment he did that all his clothes would fall off and feeling like he did there were be no way he could move again. He just had to hang onto consciousness…..somehow. Focus, Jess….those legs will obey if you just focus.

He didn't see Maggie slip into the room and standing at the doorway she observed one very exhausted, hurting young man slumped over, robe half off and staring at his bare feet as if he were trying to force them to move by sheer mental orders. She'd frowned lightly and tilted her head compassionately to one side seeing him so dejected sitting on the corner at the foot of the bed. Normally Jess had such an upright posture even when relaxed stood well balanced and when he moved it was like a dancer, yet there he was all crumpled down on the corner barely on the bed. In one last effort to right the clothing, he flipped the jeans left handed one more time and in lifting his left arm to do that it uncovered the view of his technicolored right thigh and she gasped before she could think. It was a soft one, but loud enough Di heard her mother's alarm which alerted her and she turned and stood at her mother's back and could see Jess' battered thigh over Maggie's shoulder. Daisy saw Di's body stiffen and she frowned, straightened away from Slim and looked into Jess' room at Di's elbow. Slim heard Maggie's gasp and grabbed the end tie of his leg's bandage that Daisy had dropped, stood up behind all three ladies. He was tall enough he could see over all three heads and he instantly read Jess in pain and he frowned. Sasha looked up from the pillow seeing a crowd of four jamming into the doorway and she growled softly catching Jess' ear. He turned to look at her saw the three women and Slim's head staring at him. He realized from the cold breeze hitting his body that his robe was gaping open, looked down quickly and pulled it back up around the right thigh quickly trying to make sure his dignity was covered. His whole body was very cold and numb at the same time so he wasn't sure what was covered and what might be eh..hem.….bare and the robe was definitely failing to cover things as it should be doing. His tender left hand was holding the jeans so he had to use the right hand which moved the right shoulder and caused him to grimace in pain but he kept eye contact with the pack of female emotions aimed at his chest as sure as if they were fully loaded .45 revolvers. The moment turned into a huge disaster like one huge avalanche of lost privacy.

"Oh, Jess, sweetheart!"

Maggie's voice was soft but loaded with concern as she cooed to him like a mother wanting to gather an injured child. Di and Daisy's faces spoke the same concern in eloquent silence and all three ladies began moving in earnest to render aide.

Jess' face, however, was frozen in alarm and their unhesitating movement caused any color left in it to instantly go AWOL and his eyes got wide. It was a big, thick, fluffy robe, but it was coming loose and all he had on under it was the long john shorts which were pulling up aiming for his neck by how he was seated on the bed sinking into the cloud like fluffy bedding. He'd never faced a whole pack of loving females before in nothing but his underwear and being in an exhausted and pain filled state, robbed of a full load of sugar and carbs, the brain simply wasn't functioning properly. It certainly wasn't getting his body to follow orders. His left hand was now screaming as the jeans tugged against the developing blisters as he was transfixed staring at the incoming pack of hormones. In trying to drop them back on the bed between himself and the ladies with the intent to grab and reclose the robe, the bedding grabbed the jeans and they fell from his trembling numb hand and slid to the floor out of his reach. Slim knew instantly Jess was in overload and quickly tucked the tail of his bandage into the wrapped bandage and then reached to the women's shoulders to pull them back just as Jess tried to stand and escape back to the bathroom. The only problem with Jess' plan was the upset right leg which wasn't in normal working order went into full rebellion and failed to accept the weight as he stood. With a very real threat approaching and his clothing in outright failure beginning to pool at his robe-tethered feet to trip him, Jess eyebrows went up as his body began to go down in a heap on the floor. Slim reached his right side and caught him before he landed in a mound on his wounded hip and hog-tied in the generous fluffy guest robe that would have been overly-large on Slim.

"Sssl….!" It was a very real whispered gasp of desperation and utter helplessness topped with exhaustion.

"I know, Jess. I got ya, Pard!" Slim's voice was quiet, complete in understanding and compassion.

Slim smiled lightly to himself behind Jess' head as he caught him. He'd never seen Jess so vulnerable or helpless. Many times he'd seen Jess pile head first into a group of men tearing into them in a hand fight, or stand up to some hardened gunfight somehow staring death in the face with no fear in play….or at least not visible on his face. If Slim was headed into ANY confrontation, Jess was his first and only choice at his back. But this was a situation where it was obvious Jess was completely lost and while actual mechanical physical functions were not working on the outside, inside himself Jess had reverted back to sheer instinct like a horse with its hooves trapped and was in full flight trying to run for his life. Problem was, the outside parts of Jess was not matched with the inside parts.

"That stud catch your thigh when he reared up?" Slim tried to access Jess' frozen mind using his favorite topic of horses….well next to guns and apple pie….it was a three way tie.

"Ya, hhuh? Um…hand was caught in the halter, then the piece of wood on fire dropped on his poll." Jess' face was still zeroed on the women piled up behind Slim's mountainous frame like cowboys at the end of a trail drive all trying to get in the door of the saloon at the same time. 'Dadgum, do we all look like that coming off the trail?' his poor mind was losing focus and direction, at times seeing 6 women, then back to 3.

" 'at's more color than the buckboard bite. Did you rebreak it from last year?" Slim was trying to hide the concern in his voice but both of Jess' thighs were in so many colors of blue, purple and black it was difficult to determine if he was even a Caucasian person. Slim had never seen so many variations to the colors of purple, blue and black…..except his lower back after the buckboard accident. Holding Jess' waist tight just missing the bullet wound Slim quickly checked the vertical ridge on the upper thigh checking for actual bleeding and then turned loose to recapture the robe closed. Slim had gotten between Jess and the women folk and had gathered and curled him in the cover of his ample chest and advantaged height as a body block. Slim's attention to Jess and his body blocking the women caused Jess to break his attention off the women and back on his condition and he looked at Slim's face.

"Hhuh? A….dunno….not wanting to take any weight….getting worse… longer I'm on it." Jess' voice was trembling and he looked back down at his leg as though not recognizing it as a part of his body. "Parts going numb…. room's pitching faster than a raw bronc…." Jess' head wobbled onto Slim's shoulder and he muttered, "Jest let me …. under sheets…..be fine." Then he tried to hold his head up alone.

Slim was not convinced. He had to hold Jess mostly standing and was holding him around the waist facing away from the women and getting the robe better secured was beginning to turn toward the bed. Slim couldn't hold Jess up, hold the robe closed and tie off the tie with both of his own hands in second degree burns, so he was barely holding Jess up with one arm and holding the robe closed with the other. Slim's being was also exhausted, hungry and hurting, but his age and solid home life growing up always somehow seemed to help him pace himself better than Jess did and so he wasn't as beaten up somehow. In 5 years Slim had figured out that Jess had two gears. Forward and reverse. Reverse didn't work most of the time and his forward gear had only one speed or position, fast forward. Other than that it was a dead stop. So if he was awake, Jess was in motion, fast moving forward, so he always wore out quicker. Slim's management mind went back into gear organizing available resources.

"Ladies, Di maybe could turn back the bed, we need to get him flattened out….. on purpose. The jeans are out of the question so we'll skip that part. Daisy can you finish my leg….. Can you eat anything, Jess?" Slim was trying to access the typical women-type activities their brains tended to line up into as diversion and it worked beautifully at breaking up the pack gathered on his back. Daisy backed up to the doorway and regathered her scissors off the floor that she had dropped. Di turned immediately and pulled the bedding back and started fluffing pillows.

"Nn…need …. but gut's a mess. Ccold….ver…cold." Jess' voice was mostly a whisper in fatigue, his focus went wide eyed from the women now all moving apart and spreading out where he couldn't see them all at the same time.

"Just need a nap, I'll be ok." His mouth was moving but he wasn't convincing anyone.

"Maggie's his body temperature is ice cold… like when he was in shock on our first visit, and he's vibrating." Slim quietly updated Maggie.

She whispered back, "Yes, Slim I see that from here and it is shock again. He spent the day in the cold weather getting wet and I'm sure he had it hot in that room. So his pores are wide open and its cooler in this room. We need to get his head level with his heart and trap some of that heat he's losing by getting him in bed and covers before he passes out again like on the wagon coming back over here. I was worried how long he was in the shower that he'd passed out again but in the tub. I almost sent Poppa in to check on him."

Di had the bed turned back and Sasha eagerly made room anticipating a snuggle.

"I'll go fix him a peanut butter sandwich and some milk…always works on a raw tummy." Di offered.

"Warm the milk and use the peach jelly, dear…..load on the jelly, he needs the sugar."

Maggie instructed as she went to Jess' other side, but stood in front of him suspending Slim's movement to drop Jess in the bed. Di nodded and sprinted from the room and Slim stopped. He was still holding Jess up at the waist and Jess was bent forward teetering on one sore left leg. Maggie smiled briefly at Slim in reassurance. Then she looked at and held her gaze into Jess' face catching and holding his eye contact on purpose. She wanted him to see she didn't even look down as she neatly reclosed the robe properly folding it across his body chest high. Gathering the robe tie she gave a good strong pull closed adding a reassuring half hitch on the belt securing it on behalf of both men. It was almost too tight of a tie off and Jess looked at the tie ever so quickly almost sucking in air and had to stand more vertical. She then touched his cheek with her left hand. Maggie knew in Jess' early life he'd been physically forced and abused with only limited tenderness from his mother which was required to be done privately. She had witnessed it. And she knew that being an attractive male of the species women pursued him mercilessly as Kensie had proven. From what she'd witnessed from him at the inspection of the hospital site, she wanted him on his feet and willingly allowing her to touch his body in close quarters and millimeters from very private areas before he was forced onto the bed and off his feet where she could tend him medically.

"Not so long ago, I was hurting and you took away my pain. You're hurting now and it would be my honor if you would allow me to share your momma's shoes and tend your wounds, son."

Her voice was firm but gentle, her face was soft and her eyes were glassy in moistness as she continued to obtain Jess' eye contact. At first his gaze was toward the safety of the bed covers, and he'd watched her hands move to take and tie his robe. But she'd neatly tidied his robe while capturing his gaze and he blinked rapidly several times stopped in his tracks by the angle of her approach. His first reaction had been running from the circumstances of advancing female hormones where he had lost control, but she was coming from one of an intimate and trusted motherhood. But that part of him had so long ago been buried in his being. It was a position he had granted her on their first meeting and she was appropriately accessing it but still asking permission to touch him. Her respect for him caught him off guard. Daisy and Slim quickly exchanged glances also fighting tears. The exhausted Jess wasn't as successful in holding in his emotions as Maggie's words went straight into his inner vault of scars he held clamped shut against any intrusions and he frowned. Suspended in moments ticking by slowly he lifted his left hand to her cheek as a few tears threatened to drop over his lower lids touched at her sincerity and tenderness… and his own sheer exhaustion.

"There's no one I could trust more, Maggie, bbut I'm not her little boy anymore." He said softly both wanting and even craving some tender care but at the same time uncomfortable with grown female attention he couldn't control and yet not wanting to injure her love. Inside him an argument was fussing. When he was conscious and had the option, the young Jess buried deep in horrible memories yearned for his mother again, if just one more time being surrendered to nurturing from someone he trusted wholly and had never betrayed him. But the hardened, scar ravaged young man had long ago disciplined that part of himself into submission never to be opened again, never possible because an older woman would never be there again to replace his ma. Physical touching as he'd enjoyed from his mother's tenderness had long ago been placed into his control of whom he allowed to touch him according to the need of the moment, especially females whom he had self-appointed himself to be caretaker and guardian. Taking care of his own self had been required long before his parents had died and he'd lived as long again alone as they'd been in his life making it even more difficult and uncomfortable receiving caretaking from a deep, personal level she was offering.

Maggie didn't even need to think to understand his viewpoint or his weak objection. In her soul's deep connection to his mother and from her own motherhood nature Jess had already become a part of her heart as though she'd given birth to him and other than her husband and own children, she could read Jess the best. As much as he was physically hurting and exhausted, Jess' control-oriented mind just needed a nudge of confidence to fully release his reins to her. She remembered the cold Jess tugging his coat closed while at Dr. Tim's building inspection, uncomfortable at the unapproved intrusion that people had been inspecting his innards while he was unconscious on the embankment accident.

"I understand, Son. But I treated grown men in hospitals before I married Poppa and have treated more adult men on this ranch than I have fingers and toes whom I know all by first name, I know their wives and their families. Plus I've birthed and raised two boys of my own. I know, too … where you are from and what you've been through." She lightly patted his heart. "I'll take care of you."

Jess nodded ever so slightly, then reached and kissed her forehead and looked back into her eyes. His blue eyes were soft accepting her reassuring self- control as coming from the proper source and not merely running him down in over- zealous female helpfulness.

"Tell me what to do, "Mom"," his voice cracked, "I..a... it's been a long time."

"I know." She whispered as she reached up and deftly kissed the dimple in his chin and then backed up an inch and waved Slim toward the bed and began to quietly give directions gently, lightly touching his injuries with only a fingertip as she spoke about them. Then she walked to the far side of the bed where he could see she'd be at his back and unable to see his front. As Slim got him into the bedding, she assisted removing the robe toward Slim as she began covering him with bedding from the back as the robe left. It was obvious to Slim and Daisy that Maggie had a whole lot of experience dealing with injured bachelors by her deftness mostly handling the items around them and not so much their body directly. And whether they were injured or incapacitated, by talking them through what was about to happen she was making them feel they were still in control. She was also confidently employing the trust between Slim and Jess as she'd seen them before, for Jess' comfort.

"Let's put you on your left side in the middle of the bed so I can reach both sides without you having to move and get the robe off and covers up. I need to clean and sew up that gash on your flank now that you've gotten the shower you wanted, and check your leg and shoulder for breakage. I'll ask Di to tend the burns and blisters starting with your hand because she's in training for her future here. I'm already seeing second degree burns like Slim's and we'll have to wrap your hand, too. You can snack on the sandwich Di's bringing when you feel able, but right now, warmth and sleep is your priority….I can feel your body surface is cold but you're burning up under the skin. Slim is correct, you're fighting shock, so we need to get you covered and trap that heat you're losing. Agreed?"

"Yes, Ma'am." It was a crackled whisper. Her mind was moving much faster than his by now, but her soft confidence and deft feather light touch was very soothing. It was just light enough he could tell where she was without looking and not heavy enough to have to brace against. Jess' voice was soft and unargumentative, relief beginning deep inside realizing someone else was taking over evaluating the damage done to his body yet without mowing him over. Things were still spinning and his mind was fuzzy, parts were numb other parts were screaming, so he was not sure he'd been evaluating everything properly.

Daisy's eyebrows went up and she smiled as he allowed Slim to turn and angle him into the sheets so he would be lying on his left side and she grabbed pillows standing by for placement and only guided and directed him through those pillows. Slim noticed Daisy's response and mumbled as he began to position Jess,

"Wow, Daisy, you always got a fuss trying to patch him up."

"It's the peach jelly, Slim, but I'm gaining ground with my apple pie." Daisy joked trying to lighten the attitudes in the room. She wasn't jealous, but in awe watching a masterful job of nursing. "I can see how Maggie's worked with many more conscious men then I have. Most of my patients in the war were already passed out from their injuries."

Slim eased Jess into the bed and between him and Maggie got the robe easily rolled off and instantly fed on his long john undershirt moving it in place where he didn't have to do anything but help them guide his arms into the sleeves while she pulled them straight and down. Then she covered him up rolling the bedding up around his body quickly with experienced hands. She grabbed extra smaller pillows for tucking them in under the sheets around Jess' dignity areas without ever contacting his body. She wanted him to know why so he could sense some control and poise and not just someone poking and prodding him. He could move smaller pillows to adjust or compensate for bedding too large or tied down for him to move when certain activity areas were too close for comfort.

"We can use these smaller pillows, Jess, to help you elevate your right leg so it's not weighing on your left knee and to support you while I work on your flank. You can adjust them where you feel the need and I have more behind me, just let me know. Here, Slim, tuck these under that right knee and re- cover him until I can get over there and, yes, there at his front hips so he can lean his balance as needed while I sew his flank wound closed. Try to cover him as much as possible for heat, maybe you could add a log to that fireplace after that."

"I'll get the fireplace." Daisy announced softly and turned adding a log to the burning fire.

Maggie handed two soft fabric but well stuffed smaller pillows to Slim and he reached under the bedding and placed it under Jess' right knee levelling it from the pull of gravity and taking it off the left knee. He instantly felt Jess' entire leg relax realizing Maggie was utilizing Jess' male pard to secure areas close to his roots, old scars and any current wounds. She left access only to the injury sites she was going to work on deftly moving the bedding with just enough firmness and wadding that Jess could feel himself propped and securely covered in dignity areas. She moved quickly with assuredness yet without being overwhelmingly too fast. Jess groaned as gravity took over in the security of the tucked in cloudlike bedding which had been his goal and the heat being trapped began to saturate his skin, or better said the cold air was fenced off from reaching his body overloading what heat he was generating from inside. Sasha snuggled into his damp hair on the pillow and Maggie gently tucked the robe around Sasha and Jess' head to prevent cold drafts on a wet head. Jess immediately accepted the use of the smaller pillows as something he could control his sore painful areas and the relief of having that control unwound him faster than anything else. He mumbled under his breath;

"Something about this room….jest grabs me….don't understand…" he was fading very fast like a balloon losing air.

Maggie retrieved her medical supplies from the chair where she had pre-planted them and then planted her leg squarely in the middle of the bed at his back and folded over it preparing for stitching his wound closed. She tested her hand temperature finding them cold and began rubbing them together and warming them up before touching his flank. She also laid smaller hand cloths between the bedding and wounds to catch any drainage or bleeding.

"It must be the center of your universe, Jess. Certain places grab me, too. It's like a hum or a pitch perfect tone and all the brain waves just calm down." Maggie offered. Her voice was softly confident, cheery yet serious but unworried and fully reassuring as her conversation distracted from what her hands were busy doing. Her chat would give Jess knowledge of where she was at so he could close his eyes and hopefully relax. Slim smiled shaking his head slowly one more time at her ability to just instantly connect with a person as though they'd been close, personal friends all their lives. Impeccable bedside manner.

"Ya….'at's what happens." He mumbled under another groan and his eyes sagged closed mostly in the relief of a released trust….and the room slowed down when his eyes were closed.

"I won't tell you this is where I've kept your mother's things all these years and where I've been doing all the writing you asked me to do. Her presence seems so strong in this room for some reason, too." She looked at Jess' face but he was groaning in a low, deep throated rasp with each exhale much like a screw being slowly unwound the deeper he relaxed.

"You've got a wonderful touch, Mrs. Wentworth." In admiration Slim watched her going to work on Jess' flank inspecting the bullet wound tenderly to which Jess seemed completely and oddly oblivious. The bullet had grazed him just above the right hip bone and not far from the still visible barbed wire scars in the valley of his connecting leg. Tending the bullet wound allowed Maggie to see some of the top edges of the fresh scar tissue and she shook her head with tears welling up in compassion at the pain Jess had gone through and she quickly covered the area with her heaviest small towel so Jess would feel secure. The new wound was a deep horizontal groove about four inches in length and ¾" inch wide but was no longer bleeding, just weeping clear fluid and had clean edges. It was a deep surface cut affecting nothing deeper than muscle, but enough muscle any movement of the waist or weight would be aggravating and belts and holsters would be strong agitation. The bedding was packed deeply around Jess' body to within inches of the wound she was working on and she used gauze from her medical kit to mop the ooze gently.

"Your wound is above your hip bone, Jess, well above your scar areas, so I don't need much more space than just the normal waistline of your pants and you've cleaned it better than I could do with two hands. It doesn't involve much more than skin and the outer edges of muscle, nothing deep and no internal parts are involved. Don't worry, we'll be able to go straight to closing the wound. I'm going to do that with tiny little stitches so you shouldn't feel much other than light pressure."

"Yes Ma'am" was a whisper almost nobody could hear, just see his lips move and he relaxed his right arm further forward un-guarding the pillows in that area. Slim smiled at her care of his mental concern. Maggie continued her running commentary so he'd know where she physically was stationed.

"Bachelor" added to "cowboys" are the hardest. They're so independent. Never fails to amaze me how the most independent of them need a woman's touch the most, yet seems to terrify them worse than a mountain cat. Bachelor cowboys are a beautiful breed as their independence is a survival skill and I've always deeply admired how they do that." She motioned toward Jess but looked at Slim and Daisy. "He's relaxed on the out but deep inside his body is still tense. What would help him best would be to have a woman he trusts hold his whole body so he could just unbuckle and sleep. You know, a deep sleep beyond the dream stage. Seen that so many times with the married cowboy, they heal faster." She didn't even look up when Di returned to the room carrying a tray of snacks overhearing her comments.

"Ya, whole time I've known him, he's a light sleeper. Better'n any pooch I've had for hearing stuff that goes wrong in the night." Slim offered.

"Comes with his history, I reckon, Slim. Nasty childhood and all." She was easing the needle through Jess' tender flank so sweetly he wasn't even flinching. Even Daisy was fascinated watching her fingers fly and she checked Jess' face finding it peaceful and his eyes closed.

"Doesn't he feel that?" Slim leaned over and whispered in Maggie's ear.

With her needle paused for just a moment Maggie pointed to a small bottle of medicine sitting in the lid of her medical bag.

"I have a recipe of some plants that numbs the surface of the skin. I learned it from an Indian woman who was married to one of our wranglers back in the early years up here. I put that on his wound just before I started. It also has antibacterial qualities – great on cuts and burns. I could put some on your leg if you'd like, or you can help yourself." She pointed to it again and Slim began to reach for it, so she handed it to him.

"Ya, I might try some. Leg's throbbing some."

"Use one of those gauze squares and pour just about the size of a pea on your finger and then to each opening and tap it in lightly. If it's really hurting, use more," She instructed confident in Slim's self-medicating.

"I'd like to get a copy of your pain medicine recipe, Maggie, and your stitch work is beautiful. I sure would love to see you do that tatting Jess showed me." Daisy took a step closer to watch and was astonished at the delicate needlework-type suturing quite unlike the harsh sutures the Army doctors had used jabbing skin together. Maggie neatly stitched inside the wound to pull the two sides together then pulled and stitched the outer layer of skin making less of a scar.

"I really miss tatting. Maybe we can find the time to sit together, Daisy, before you all have to leave. I find it very relaxing, and I'll copy that recipe, too."

"Mother's really good with her hands." Di joined in as she adjusted the side table to hold her tray of delicacies containing 3 sandwiches and two glasses of milk. "One of the hands had a 3 year old baby girl who fell off a fence and laid her knee open. Nobody could get close to her she was screaming so hard. Mother came right out of the house and took the baby girl in her arms cooing to her and the baby calmed right down and Mom stitched her little knee closed right there and the baby fell asleep in her arms. Mother's stitch work doesn't leave any scars later either."

"Well, that's certainly better than I could do. Little girl screams go right through my….um…" Slim fidgeted and crossed his arms having to brake suddenly finding himself too close to saying too much about the effect of little girl screams on his roots which in turn activates his anger faster than any snake. He blushed while screwing the lid down on Maggie's pain potion and dropping it softly where he'd found it.

"That's because you're a bachelor, Slim. It'll change." Daisy helped him out of the corner. "When it's your baby girl, that…" Daisy cleared her throat and waved in general over Slim's lower half, "scream becomes energy. Nobody moves faster than daddies when it's their baby screaming."

"I dunno, Daisy. Jess moves pretty daggone fast…..faster'n me when he hears a kid scream. I'm still trying to get my legs unfrozen and he's half way to the kid. He's fierce when he's in protection mode."

Maggie and Di looked at Jess who, apart from the scruffy beard, looked nothing like fierce but was sagged completely out on the bed with his eyes closed cuddled into the head pillow and looking more like a little boy who'd played too hard and fell into bed. Then they looked at each other and smiled. "Is that right?" Maggie asked in a knowing manner.

"So he must have kids tucked away somewhere?" Di's logic became suspicious.

"Him?!" Slim chucked under his breath, "You're joking, right? 'Sides, these kids already came fully equipped with a set of parents."

"Come on, Slim, let's finish your bandage. You need a nap, too. You're both exhausted." Daisy tugged at Slim's sleeve.

"Yes, Ma'am." Slim echoed and followed her back into his bedroom. He had to walk past Di who had finished putting her tray on the nightstand next to the door way and smiled at her. She held a saucer size plate with one sandwich toward Slim half offering it but when he reached for it in a respectful but kid-like way asking with his eyes, she deftly pulled it back.

"Not kidding." Her eyes were full of questions and being shorter she had to look up Slim's tall frame to see his face. Slim stood back to full height dropping his shoulders in a mocked miff, but smiled back.

"What your mom said about more fear of women than mountain cats? Commitment issues, Di. Somebody's got to catch him, first. He runs even faster away from.. than he runs to kids, only his brain hasn't figured it out yet."

She smiled in understanding and quickly brought the plate next to his chest and he swooped the sandwich off and put a sizeable bite right into his mouth and took the milk with his other hand, managing a "Thank you" muffled by a full mouth. As he followed Daisy, over his shoulder he added,

"You're lucky his legs are hurt. It'll slow him down a smidge." And he winked over his shoulder at her and she blushed. Slim had to quickly lick his mouth due to the instant overflow ooze from the tastiness of the sandwich.

Di looked quickly back at her mother who was listening to Slim, too.

"His legs? Both of them?"

"Yes dear, his left knee has a bad bruise, too, honey. Bolero wasn't too fussy where he was aiming with his front hooves. You can start working on his hands. Put some of the cream on the blisters and wrap them in the gauze just like you did Slim's." Maggie was still focused on her mission. "Start with his hands, then he's got some blisters up here on top his shoulders. Remember to warm your hands, dear. Nothing charges up a man faster than cold hands on tender spots."

"Yes, Mother." Di checked her hand temperature on her cheeks but they were warm, then grabbed the ointment tube and gauze wrap, knelt on the floor in front of Jess and fished under the bedding for his left hand. Having retrieved it she tenderly began tapping the cream into the blisters. The added activity caused Jess to stir and he half opened his eyes to see who had started on another area of his body, but his eyes immediately softened seeing it was Di and he began to study her. As she worked gently, Di became very quiet remembering the sight of seeing Kensie on fire and Jess carrying her thinking that's why his hand was burnt. Her eyes began to water and she had to brush the falling tear with her shoulder. It caused Jess to frown lightly, somehow sensing the source of her tears.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save her." His whisper was barely audible, but Maggie looked up from her stitching to see Di's tears. Di looked up from Jess' hand to his eyes and then back to his hands and nodded slightly to the side but kept working.

"She….was very headstrong, Jess. Nothing and nobody could have kept her from running into that barn to save Bolero. She really didn't trust anyone with him. She researched his breeding, hand fed his dam every day she was in foal and slept in the barn for 3 nights waiting for the mare to drop him. Handled him every day before we left for college. Their ranch is dominantly horse business, and secondly cattle and he was destined to be her foundation stud for the ranch when she took over from her dad. But she wasn't very practical and her emotions ruled."

"She was a single child, too, dear. Her daddy never said "no" to her and not having those fences, she ran on the wild side." Maggie offered in comfort as they both kept working, she offered to Jess, "I've never seen a child have so much and still not be satisfied."

"Something to be said for having nothing unless you work for it." Jess offered. "Stuff takes on a whole 'nother value when it costs something. Probably didn't realize the danger of fire."

Di wiped her dripping nose carefully with a wad of gauze and set it aside catching another tear with her shoulder being careful to not contaminate the burn wounds.

"I can see that, Jess. You've probably nailed it. Mother always said, "Love is blind"." She agreed. "I think my heart stopped though when I saw you go into the barn after the horses. I love horses to my toes, but human life is so precious."

"Slim and I started in for the horses, but the hands had a good line of rescues going and two of them carried out her dad but he was already…. Anyway, she came up to them looking for her dad first and when she saw he was gone, that's when she ran into the barn." Jess thought Di didn't have all the information and that it would help her to know Kensie's first concern was her dad.

"I didn't know that, Jess, that helps. I thought he was on the other side of the barn. Is that when you went in, I mean, after her?"

"No, I'd already passed her dad and had grabbed Bolero, but he was so panicked he was dunking me like I wasn't even hanging onto his halter. A piece of burning timber fell on his poll catching his mane on fire and I got that batted out when Slim arrived with his shirt off and wrapped Bolero's head so he couldn't see. I was having trouble standing so Slim took his halter and lead him out. That's when I heard Kensie screaming behind me and saw her coming from deeper in the barn. Her… um.. clothes and hair was already on fire." He stopped to make sure Di was not going overloaded but she was sniffing and still working wrapping his hand.

"What did you do?" She asked briefly looking up but mostly concentrating on a very neat wrap between his fingers as though doing microscopic surgery and barely touching his hand in trepidation she might hurt it.

"I grabbed her and dived into some blankets on top her to put the fire out and a couple hands came up and threw a couple wet saddle blankets over us. Then I carried her outside, but she was already in shock….her clothes were mostly gone and she was shivering hard, so all's I could do was hold her close trying to cover her up … hold the blankets close. It's the air that hurts burns the worst. She whispered in my ear asking if Bolero had gotten out and I told her he was fine and she nodded. Then she whispered 'thank you' and said to….take care of Sash for her and…" Jess paused, "She was gone."

"I overheard one of the hands say they saw you kissing on her." Di asked meekly without looking up.

Jess was having more trouble than Di and Maggie was blinking hard trying to concentrate on finishing the sewing on his gash. Di sniffed again.

"After she gave me Sasha… she was staring at my face and started crying. Said she'd never had a man kiss her and she was going to miss that most." He shifted in the bed uncomfortably with a light pain spasm in his shoulder digging at him back to front and he arched forward groaning hard under his breath into the pillow. Maggie placed a hand softly in support of his back where she thought the spasm had started and waited for him to ease out of it and Di suspended wrapping his hand until he released his fist which expanded her bandaging and she had to back up and adjust the tension.

"So that's when you kissed her?" Di asked after Jess was able to relax back.

Jess was still struggling emotionally and had his face half buried in the pillow trying to compose himself. In his exhaustion memories of watching his mother burned to death was interweaving with what he'd just experienced with Kensie who looked like a younger version of his mother. When he spoke, his voice was deep and soft.

"Shortly after my um…. family was wiped out, I made friends with this Indian kid my age. We were hunting deer one day and he wounded one and when we reached it to a.. finish... he leaned over looked like he was kissing it on the nose and I asked why. He said if you breathe the last breath of a living creature, then their spirit will live on forever." Then in between groans… "Odd how that memory came…. Hate fires. Worst way to die….slow."

Maggie was weeping and this time she was wiping tears onto her shoulder.

"Is that why you kissed her?" Di asked sweetly, now with understanding coming through her grief.

"I ….thought she should have the chance…. at least once… was for her…not me." Jess lightly rubbed the side of his face in the pillow trying to hide his own emotions and any evidence of moisture from his eyes.

"I saw her face before you covered it with the blanket, Jess. It was burned badly." Maggie softly offered and Di nodded having seen it, too.

"She didn't need to see herself in my face." Jess' voice was barely a whisper and cracking. He'd never kissed third degree blackened burns on a woman's face or on lips that crackled and dissolved under the lightest touch or whose hair evaporated in his hands into a fine black dust. Worse of all, he could still smell the odor of burnt flesh and that along with the dissolving lips were going to take work to erase from his memories….again. For a fleeting second he thought that those horrid aromas were the cause of the nausea that kept floating through him in waves….. that made sense because his hunger was really hurting.

"And now she'll live on. You sacrificed so much trying to save her, Jess. You could've lost your life or your hands saving her and Bolero." Di wrapped both her hands around his finished left hand and kissed it gently as though holding onto a baby bunny. Her wrap job on his hand was meticulously neat and snug and beyond the initial contact and wrap, the covered burns began quieting down without the air irritating them.

"Did smothering the fire on her cause you some burns on your chest, Jess?" Maggie asked rather than to go exploring. Earlier when she had wrapped the robe closed she did so without having inspected his anatomy.

"Huh?" Jess was distracted gazing into Di's tenderness.

"Burns from her…..on your chest?" Maggie repeated gesturing at his.

"Ah..um..nothing serious. I'd tossed enough buckets I was already wet. Just some falling debris caught my shoulders when the beam hit my back. You put your pain medicine in that stuff she put on my hand?"

"Yes, there's some but mostly cutting the air off will make those burns quiet down. We need to keep the ointment going under those bandages. They will help heal the blisters with less scarring. I've got your bullet wound closed but I'm leaving the two ends open a tad for drainage and I'll cover it with a gauze wrapping. If you begin to feel heat or burning let me know, or if you feel moisture let me come check it. We have just tons of medical supplies here from over the years. I could supply a hospital, so please promise me you won't hesitate if you need something."

She waited for him to respond but he was still studying Di who was putting her kit back together. So Maggie bumped his hip to get his attention and Jess startled some and looked at her raising the eyebrow.

"Huh?"

"Promise me if you need something?" She repeated tenderly with a small smile.

"I'll be fine." He mumbled looking back at Di and being the tough cowboy.

She reached back and lightly took a good finger-full and pinched his bum and he startled moving his hip forward trying to get out of range.

"Ow!" He looked back at her frowning and she gave him her 'mother look' with pursed lips through a smile flipping her pair of scissors' tip up and down with a snipping action like she was getting ready to poke him…or cut something off.

"OK! a...Mom! Promise." He grumped while Di was trying to hide a huge smile knowing well her mother's methods of nursing care with humor to keep tough cowboys toting the line of her rules.

"Good boy! You did a nice job cleansing it, Jess. Doesn't look like it hit any organs and just missed your hip bone, so you should be good there for now. Can you lean a little forward onto your stomach so I can look at your shoulder? Where on your back did the timber hit?"

Jess didn't want to tell them that the length of his shower was to clean up, but more so, he was trying to purge his sinuses from the stench of burning human flesh that had gotten re-woken. It was a stink worse than manure and nauseated him. Before exposing his bum any further by leaning forward he checked to be sure she'd put the scissors down and she had so he eased forward onto his stomach tucking pillows close to maintain the heat he had begun to feel from the down bedding. She gathered the undershirt and raised it gently so she could see his back and still keeping an eye half circled monitoring her face in renewed respect he leaned forward allowing his shirt to be raised.

"Right shoulder, the end of the timber hit and then it glanced down my back ribs."

"Yes I see the impact site. It's very colorful." She smiled in a reassuring attempt at humor. "Perfect match to your thigh. Just relax, Jess and let me move your arm."

She gently held his right arm and felt with her left hand and rotated the arm some. Jess grimaced hard and his right leg curled stiffly over his roots folding his gaze back toward Di, but otherwise held still.

"How bad was it?" She put everything down and peered over his body to read his face.

"Hurts but I can breathe." His voice was a non-breathing gasp covering up that the movement was the best fireworks display he'd ever seen and nearly caused him to black out. His eyes were slammed shut and he didn't see Maggie gesture to Di to notice Jess' face had flashed ashen white as Di's blouse. Di looked at his face and her blouse and nodded yes she'd seen it. Nurses know things and Maggie had a good start on Di's responsibilities as growing into a ranch matron someday and teaching her what and where to look over what the mouth said…..or in the case of a cowboy, failed to admit.

"You move it now." She instructed looking at his back to watch.

"Screams too loud when I do it. Barely got out of the shower." His voice was tight.

"Can you "A" move it, but it just hurts? Or, "B" can't move it at all?"

"Can… just…um… barely move it." His voice was strained, maybe half an octave higher in pitch.

"Di, a general rule of thumb, if a bone is broken, first it will not support weight, second the patient will be unable to move that part below the break. It's the mechanics of the skeleton has to hold the tug of the muscles that work like a pulley. If the support bar, which is the bone, of the pulley is broken, the muscles have nothing to pull against therefore they cannot move it themselves. Understand?" She was gesturing the effect with her hands intertwined.

"Yes, Ma'am." She acknowledged but it was Jess' face that registered what she said made sense to him because he'd experienced broken bones.

Maggie had been watching both of them and Di was paying attention, but Jess was back to watching Di. He seemed fascinated by something and Maggie smiled lightly.

"From the bruising and how its moving, Jess, if it were broken and I moved it, we'd be peeling you off the ceiling. Men can mostly take collar bone breaks even without wrapping them, but shoulder blades will bring them to their knees if they are fully broken, so don't feel bad, Jess. If you have pain moving it, but not that much with me doing the moving, that tends to be more of soft tissue injury, or muscle involvement, at worst possibly a crack in the shoulder blade. If you can't move it at all that indicates a broken bone or part of the bone. We need to get a handle on the shock first, so I'm going to leave the arm loose while you're in bed tonight, but when you get up again in the morning, we'll wrap your arm snug to the chest to limit the movement until we can get you to a doctor. Lying in bed with it hurting, you're not going to be moving it and your body needs lack of movement so it can rest and mend. Try to keep the shoulder squared up best you can. You get out of square, it will scream. Di, please hand me the ointment and I'll treat these burn blisters while I'm here and we'll leave them uncovered except for your undershirt until you get up, then the wrapped arm will cover them. I doubt you'll be sleeping on your back for quite some time, Jess. What about your leg? Do you think you broke it again?"

"Won't take weight, but it's different this time. When it was broke, it'd give like a broom. Now, it seems to hold but I can't balance."

"I'm just feeling for heat to help you monitor the inflammation since the swelling will numb your readings." She offered while scanning his body and lightly touching the top side of his thigh through the blanket Maggie gave her diagnosis.

"Sounds like this is more deep soft tissue. If it had broken, you'd know it when you stepped down, not be able to move it. It is very swollen and hot, or inflamed they say, indicates soft tissue. So we'll keep you off it for several days, no more than to the bathroom, we'll bring in your food. When you get up to begin moving around, we can wrap it for support and get a cane or crutch for you from our medic supply room and then start hot compresses in about a day or so. I should ice it but you're too cool and in shock. Did Bolero get you anywhere else but the thigh and knee that you're concerned about…want me to check out?" She looked at his face trying to read if he was or would try to cover up more unmentionable injury areas the hooves had raked. In her experience with wranglers, they sacrifice their thighs to protect certain other more sensitive and high valuable body parts by sheer instinct, just as a woman would do, so she wasn't too much concerned considering he was able to walk to the bed. In over 40 years of nursing on a ranch, she'd only had one wrangler injured in his …um, roots and he was folded over plus in so much pain and scared outta his mind about permanent damage, he couldn't move his whole lower body and embarrassment be damned, had begged for help. Jess and Di were still looking at each other's faces.

"Jess?"

"Huh? No Ma'am. Just ….very tired. Thank you both for taking care of me. You both have a wonderful touch."

"You admiring my nurse?" Maggie gently extricated herself from the bed and brought the covers up behind him tucking Jess in.

"Yes, Ma'am, she did a beautiful job on my hand." He maintained looking at Di but held his hand up so Maggie could see it. Maggie was amused, she'd already watched Di put it together.

"Well, I'll leave you in her care. Are you hungry enough for a meal? I've got all kinds of food left from the last two weeks, I can put something together and Di can bring it on a tray." She offered.

" 'preciate the offer, Mom, but my stomach's a rock. Been a long day for everyone." He knew his stomach had begun to ease off and back to knawing on him but didn't want her fixing him a full meal when he could see in her a full measure of exhaustion, too, and her day wasn't done yet. If nothing else, he'd rest for an hour then once the house was quiet he'd go raid the kitchen like he did Daisy's.

"Very well. I need to check on Poppa. He lost his pardner today, too. Would be something like you losing Slim after 40 years."

That broke Jess' attention and he looked at Maggie and his eyebrows furrowed.

"I….couldn't deal with that, a..Mom. No idea what you can do for him. 'xpect the funerals will be soon?"

"They were counting on Kensie having kids in order to rebuild the family because they didn't have any relatives left, so I imagine it will be tomorrow. Kensie was wild, but as a single child she wanted 5 kids….guess that dream is gone, too. That and it looks like a big storm is brewing. They wanted to be cremated and spread out all over the back forest area of the property up higher in the hills. Not sure but I think they'll have to be taken to Denver for cremation….Poppa will know. We'll have a big dinner for everyone after. His housekeeper, Ana and Bessy are already cooking."

"With no heirs, who'll own the ranch then?" Jess looked strongly at Maggie in concern.

"Last I'd heard, if both Elroy and Kensie passed without next of kin, Elroy was going to deed it over to Poppa and what he's going to do with more property is beyond me. Elroy's property is all north of his house and Jr's got land on the opposite side of us to the south. Jerry's already left to go back to college for two more years, then he's a copy of my father, a city boy and wants to live in Denver. He couldn't get outta here to college fast enough. When are you going back to college, Di? You're already going to be late."

"Not, Momma. I'm gunna stay here. There's nothing back east for me now." Di was gathering her skirts preparing to stand up.

"But, Sweetheart, you've worked so hard to get ahead and done early, you only have 3 more months to graduate with your degree." Maggie was shocked.

"Not going Momma. I've made up my mind." She brushed her hands together as she reached her feet. Jess took a quick look at Maggie's face to read the reaction to such a brash announcement.

"We'll talk about it later, Di. I've got to go check on Poppa. Jess, if you need me or anything, just let Di know. If you need anything for the pain, let me know. I have Indian recipes and laudanum available, or we can rob Poppa's whiskey cabinet. Would be better for you to have something on your stomach before using pain treatments." Maggie could tell this wasn't the time to argue, closed her medical bag and leaving it on the chair on the opposite wall, turned and left the bedroom.

Daisy had long finished with Slim and had left to go lay down and Mike had showed up having been fed and snuggled up on Slim's bed and they hadn't heard a peep. Di stood up and looked into Slim's room seeing them asleep and went to cover them with an extra quilt and came back to Jess' room where he was fighting sleep. She took one of the peanut butter sandwiches, tore it in half and took a bite gingerly sitting down on the bed in front of Jess while chewing.

"Slim and little Mikey are out cold. I covered them up with a double since Slim is so long in case they get to pulling blanket tug o war during the night. Kitchen looked like Daisy and Mike had made some sandwiches for themselves and I gave Slim one of these sandwiches and a glass of milk."

"Smells good."

"Your stomach calming down any?"

"I reckon some. Helps to get things tended so I know what I'm up against and can work on a plan. What are you eating?"

"Mother makes this homemade peanut spread. She bought an extra coffee grinder and then takes peanuts out of the shell and grinds them to a powder, adds cream, salt and fresh butter makes a real thick spread and then she fills up jars with it. We put it on bread for a protein snack. Never tried it with the peach jelly she makes, but then we can't hardly get her to turn loose of the jelly. She hordes it. It's really good though!" With her finger she plowed through between slices scooping up just the peanut spread and jelly and brought it to her lips.

"Really?" Jess was instantly zeroed in on her mouth, watching her lick her fingers. The smell of the peanuts and the thought of those peach preserves… floating into her wet, plump, shiny, light cherry colored lips surrounded by her peachy-kissed flawless complexion had his full and complete attention. Laying flat on the bed and relaxing for over half an hour had replenished the blood supply to his brain….. he wasn't dead yet. Those particular colors that close together .. and something flowery was mixing with the aroma of peach preserves and a peanut flavor. It made his stomach grumble softly.

"Mm..huh." She was working on stuck portions inside her mouth which moved her lips and only cemented Jess' gaze of that target.

"Sure do appreciate the work you did on my hand." Jess was hinting at further medical attention to continue the feeding duty of her patient but Di wasn't used to man-type leading questions. He leaned forward slightly offering his left hand and she reached back to take it with two fingers admiring her work understanding only the literal side of his comment.

"Not bad for a rookie nurse if I do say so myself." She was completely missing the hint.

Jess slowly took her fingers in his bandaged hand and pulled her closer still staring at her mouth and leaned forward onto a thick pillow with his left elbow with some effort. Di had a mouthful but stopped chewing noticing she was being targeted by a gorgeous man who'd intrigued her, but one moving respectfully into her personal space. He was about 12 inches from her face when she thought maybe he was interested in eating a bite so she turned the half sandwich toward his mouth, but it was too late. Very slowly, deliberately and gently keeping his scruff at a safe angle, he leaned forward to where he saw the potion disappear and softly kissed her mouth taking a full sampling then pulled back slightly and licked his lips tasting the peanut butter and peach jelly. It didn't take a second thought and he reached back in for a stronger kiss, er….taste and this time Di knew what he was doing and kissed him back. It was a tender kiss lasting several seconds and he pulled back again, still licking his lips and looking strongly at her mouth in deep consideration of doing a full dive. Memories of Kenzie's dissolving charred lips quickly began dissipating being replaced by Di's sumptuous and youthfully full ones. Laying beside him on the head pillow Sasha could smell the food aroma and licked her lips, too.

"Did you find you are hungry?" She cooed softly with just the corners of her mouth tipping up and her blue eyes glistening with a smile, a tease about the food and she slowly licked the half of her finger again.

"Ravenous." His voice was low and sensual, his eyes glowing a soft blue and leaning on his left elbow and ignoring the pain of his right, he slowly inched reaching with his right hand to her neck and gently drew her toward himself onto his chest. Laying back on the bed taking the movement and weight off the shoulder he kissed her again, lingeringly tasting her lips. His pull gently brought her onto the bed laying on her hip next to his and leaning onto his chest. They didn't hurry the kiss, their lips softly caressing, eyes closed lost in savoring the sumptuous flavors of the moment. Her hands were full of sandwich pieces so she was leaning on her forearms on the bed at his neck. When she pulled up to breathe, Jess' head fell back deeply into the pillow with his eyes still closed savoring something he'd never tasted before including peanut butter spread with clove infused peach jelly, and his left hand fell relaxed onto the bed. Sasha whimpered softly and licked her lips again but otherwise didn't budge.

"I have more ….." she had the partially eaten half in her left hand and pointed with her full right hand toward the nightstand. Both hands had residue on them she was licking the leaking of the over-stuffed peach preserves off the sandwich and both hands. She was having a very hard time staying ahead of the "load on the peach jelly" overfilled homemade bread.

Jess' eyes opened and he was still staring at her mouth.

"Not sure I can manage a whole meal….sore as I am…." He didn't mean only food, but she didn't catch that one either. He was also fibbing to himself in denial with typical cowboy optimism because there was no way on earth his beaten up body could have done more than burp. The lean forward to capture the kisses almost wiped him out again both in no energy but more so by the threat of a full rebellion of pain. It also raised him from the cozy warmth of the bedding and he shivered as a breeze wafted past him.

"That's good." And she smiled and jammed most of the last fourth of the sandwich into his mouth and giggled at the peanut butter and jelly smashed all over his lips and face some of it caught in the scruff. It was the smaller fourth of the sandwich, a large bite and a half for a guy, two bites for a lady. He got the huge bite into control then tried to gather in the sticky substance with his tongue and chew the huge mouthful at the same time but some was leaking out of the corners of his mouth. Jess reached over with his bandaged left hand and grabbed her gently, but stronger around the neck and brought her face back onto his messing up her mouth off his face and they shared cleaning the residue with several more kisses. Once Di got the idea of kissing his face clean, it was a good thing because that was all Sasha could stand and she crawled forward and joined in the licking party on his cheek aiming for his lips, too. It caused Jess and Di to laugh and break apart and Jess had to curl some from a fresh assault of pain stabs but he had to groan because his mouth was stuck closed and he couldn't even get "ow" out.

"Did I forget to tell you Sasha loves peanuts?" Di giggled as Jess pulled Sasha off his face and began coughing from smoke residue still stuck in his lungs disturbed by his laugh.

"Not as much as I love… peach jelly!" He was grimacing from the activity on his shoulder. "Oh, dadgum!" he muttered through a sticky mouth but grabbing his shoulder.

Di reached with her finger to clean a piece of peanut off the left side of Jess' face that Sasha had missed and Jess grabbed her finger and put it into his mouth to suck off the tidbit. Then he kissed it and still holding it he folded her hand onto his chest and covered it with his hand while still working on the tucks of sticky residue caught inside his mouth.

"How do you stand having that brush on your face?" It was an innocent question asked in pure honesty as she pulled the napkin off the tray and finished cleaning some of the scruff on his face nobody could reach with a kiss. Between his sucking inside his mouth cleaning the sticky peanut butter from crevices and her wiping his face at the same time it was amusing. He'd be working inside his mouth, she'd be wiping his face or scruff and he'd dodge but she chased like a mom cleaning off a baby's moving face until she got him cleaned up. She figured he could clean the inside of his mouth, she'd clean his face.

"Not a choice." He moved his tongue to another pocket of residue. "Gets softer…. the longer…. it grows…..'is peanut stuff is…..sure good."

Di shook her head 'no' not believing it could be comfortable.

"Takes two hands to scrape it off. Shoulder won't …. Make it." Jess explained.

"You know, I took a class in barbering my first year of college. Did it just for kicks. I should give you a facial. You'd enjoy it. Can be very relaxing, you know."

"What's a facial?"

"It's a special cosmetic treatment for the face skin, you know, hot towel, soft creams, an exfoliation, with men includes shaving the beard. They're very refreshing."

"Sounds like what I do scraping this off my face only I use a razor." He pointed to her cheek. "You got some jelly stuck on your um…."

"Where?" She touched the other cheek not sure which one he was pointing.

"No, the other one." He pointed again, then just waved her closer. "Here, come…. I'll get it."

She leaned closer exposing her face expecting him to use his finger but he leaned up close and cleaned it off with another sweet kiss this time rolling her across his sore body onto the bed and trapping her face up on the bed her legs dangling over his lap and he finished the kiss properly. She enjoyed the kiss then recoiled playfully, pushed him gently back over onto his back, batted her eyelids and smiled while wiping her hands off with the used napkin.

"Jess Harper, YOU are a flirt!" She exclaimed softly in a mock pout with half a smile.

"I'm daggone hungry, 's what I am." It was the infamous forlorn look with arched eyebrows as he laid back onto the pillow and adjusted his right shoulder with another groan and grimace. He figured the pain of moving, the weight of her body on his new sore spots and the expense of moving both his body and hers was worth the kiss he took….and she willingly rewarded. He really needed a strong kiss and what he was tasting beyond the food nutrients was more energy to his soul than the food was to his body. Something about her…..flavor…..touched him deep inside and after the horror diving deep inside his soul and the vault of hideous memories he carried there, he desperately needed something whole and fresh. Dadgum…..she tasted …. he closed his eyes trying to hold back tears. When his head quit spinning he determined he'd have to figure out what was going on inside his being. The events of the fire was 180 degrees opposite to what happened inside him when in contact with this particular beauty….and that was about as alarming as the fire….even scary. It was the shock he was fighting….must be…the answer. But she seems so…. pure. All females he'd ever met or known had some scars or … well, they drained him. He never minded that before, but this woman was different….she was an energy source and very warm like being snuggled into a fireplace or warm bed with a full, happy stomach.

"Why didn't you say so. I brought more sammichs and milk." She eased off his chest and the bed reached for the tray still not understanding what his spirit was saying. She brought the milk to the corner of the night stand within easy reach and then held the saucer with the second whole sandwich and he lifted it in his left hand as she snuggled next to his hip again. She took the other half sandwich and started for her mouth but Jess lifted his whole sandwich to her mouth offering to feed her and she accepted taking a delicate bite. As she chewed, she held her half sandwich to his mouth and he bit off almost half of it in a normal man sized bite. While they chewed the gooey, Sasha whined softly with her tail lightly thumping, her head resting lightly on the pillow next to Jess' right shoulder and her eyes following every movement of their hands. He bit off a decent sized corner of the crust that had some peanut butter and turned his head toward her and she delicately lifted it from his lips without touching him, backed up on the pillow and began working on her morsel. He then offered the sandwich back to Di and she took another bite offering him the last half of the half sandwich. He almost reached to take the bite then backed off into the pillow and gave her a warry side look and half smile and she grinned.

"I'll be good. Trust me." She promised in a soft almost whisper.

"Trust is a foundation stone. If trust isn't there, nothing else will stand." He softly coached.

"I understand." She proffered the portion again and he took it gently, this time it wasn't shoved into his face. He offered the sandwich again because she was finished with her bite. This time, though, she took the sandwich from his hand and then turned it around and fed him the rest of it bite by bite as he could chew.

"I've had enough, you finish it. I've got a milk chaser standing by."

Jess finished the sandwich quickly since he took larger sized bites and when placed properly in his mouth where he could control the sticky, it could be eaten faster. He saved a large portion of the last corner crust with some peanut spread and handed it to Sasha as she finished her first one and came looking for more. The snack on his empty stomach added to the room temperature milk quickly worked on Jess' fatigue level and he faded fast as the darkness of dusk seeped deeper into the corners of the room.

"I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose Slim and I've only known him a little more than 5 years. After 40 years, dadgum, especially in such a tragic way, be like someone taking your lungs out. I feel for your dad." Jess began slowly inching trying to turn back onto his left side and settle into the bedding. "You and Kensie knew each other, what 20 years?"

"Well, 25 years, but I don't remember earlier than when I was about 5, so ya, about 20."

"Dadgum….would kill me. Never had any close relationships with anyone as long as him, 'cept my mom."

"You were close to your mom?"

"Adored her. She was my mother, my best friend and my confidant. She knew everything. Had nothing."

"She had you."

"Well, ya. After I was about 7, when my dad wasn't around …we could be together. Even when I met Slim we clashed at first for about 10 minutes. Then things went south and we were taken hostage and from there we seemed to be able to just read each other, like out there fighting that fire today. His ranch felt like home but I'd never known a real healthy home. Took me some time to identify what I was feeling and was so strange to me it took a few months for me to let go of the big open. Things from my past kept showing up and I didn't want any of it to destroy what he had so at first I'd take off again. But he'd take my back and together we've been working through those bad things and they are fading away. Now, it'd kill me to lose him. He's the brother I never had. Feel for your dad. Dadgum, 40 years – 8 times longer than I've known Slim. At least he's got your mom. 'At's the way a marriage should be, you know, best friends and a spouse. Does it feel cool in here to you?"

"Not really. I can build up the fire if you want it warmer. Dad made sure us kids could manage a fireplace almost before we could walk."

" 'at's ok….I'm not ready for more flames just yet. Be ok once I snuggle down."

Di headed for the door and Jess brought his head back up.

"Where you goin'?"

Looking back over her shoulder she pointed across the hall. "My room's just across the hall. I'll be right back. Just grabbing an extra quilt."

Reassured she was coming back Jess settled deep into the covers pulling them up close to his chin. The room was too cool to him, maybe just the fatigue grabbing on or the shock Maggie diagnosed, but he wasn't in any hurry to be alone for some reason, or especially get close to any fires even in a fireplace. The room was really getting dark and was settling in like the coolness and the downy softness of the bedding. He'd just found that groove to lay in where everything wasn't hurting when one lamp turned on a low flicker as Di returned lighting the lamp by the door to the bathroom. Then Jess felt an indentation come onto the bed behind him and the extra half of another quilt lofted over him settled smoothly across his body just long enough to reach the edge of the bed and then he had to look behind him. Having quickly changed into night loungewear appropriate for company, Di was crawling into his bed, on top the covers and scooching up next to his back tucking herself in along his back. Jess was about to protest, knowing any parent would kill him if they found their daughter in his bed especially in their home, but somehow the fit of her body at his back quieted every nerve that had been rattling all day. Adding in the peace in this room and the cuddle assurance of the bedding, then her warm soft curves came up his back was like every inch of his body was being hugged and all the tension began sinking away.

"Oh, dadgum." He muttered under his breath as his eyelids fluttered in sensation overload. "Your parents will kill me, you know that, right?" he whispered over his shoulder remembering suddenly what Jr had disclosed back at the ranch about Di's inexperience with men.

"Poppa will bristle up and blow, but down in their hearts, they want us to be together. They want you for a son so badly they can't see straight. I'll just reassure them I'm doing my nurse thing like Mother suggested and there's nothing personal being breeched."

"And what do you want, Di?" His voice was breaking apart.

Her voice was very matter of factly reporting unemotionally as she tucked herself in with covers at her back and settled a head pillow. "I want the chance to get to discover the only man beyond my father who's ever spoken to my heart. But I've got to help you live long enough for that discovery to happen. That means you need to mend and to mend you need sleep. Deep sleep…. like Mother said earlier. And if you will trust me, you will relax enough to reach that sleep. I'll take the watch tonight. You just get busy sleeping and mending. Can you trust me, Jess? I trust you."

"I trust you as I do your mother, Di. It's me I'm worried about."

"So rest." She still didn't understand as she nestled her hips into his bum like spoons in a drawer to commence heat transfer same as she had snuggled with Kensie on overnight sleep overs together.

Jess wasn't used to having a woman's body lined up along his back because he always maintained control when in contact with women, especially positional contact. It was his duty to guard and protect the woman, not her protect him and he wasn't even on his feet. Yet her fit to his back was doing strange things relaxing nerves deep inside him and he felt like all his disciplines were melting. Perhaps…. yes, it had to be the shock Maggie had diagnosed, or the extreme exhaustion, or maybe even reawakening the nightmare of his mother's death the same way Kensie had died. It was a tad bit unnerving and everything inside him was unravelling …the cloud fogginess of exhaustion was enclosing his head again making clear thoughts impossible. He'd never met a woman like Di…..just like he'd never met a man like Slim. Like Slim she was peaceful and whole… much like looking at a brand new rose bud barely beginning to open, perfectly formed and fragrant. Unlike every other female he'd met she had no nicked petals or torn leaves, or rusted edges, knowing there was velvet inside that bud, not even finding thorns. Full of life just beginning to unfold, so much potential. It was mesmerizing.

"You have to help me." Jess muttered as he was fading, not going to take any chances.

"Whatever you need, Jess. Just tell me." she whispered listlessly. "If you need something during the night I'll get it for you, too."

"Don't move fast, stay behind me and keep your hands north of the equator. Ok?"

"Got it. Now, SHHHH! I'm tired, too." She lightly kissed his back for a good night. "G'nite."

"No kissing either."

"Ok."

"Anywhere."

"OK!"

She was facing him tucked up tight and she brought her finger up and was tucking the bedding up to the top of his shoulders and neck and snuck in touching the back of his hair accidentally on purpose. She'd felt the scruff which was bristly so she was curious about the texture of curly hair on a male and found it soft and silky. There was a few moments of silence and Jess was dropping faster into oblivion than Di, but then Sasha decided to move closer to the heat sources and she crawled in front of Jess and tucked up under Di's quilt in front of him. Still fighting cold and injury numbness, sinking quickly into half consciousness and totally unwilling to admit to the dizziness, Jess thought Di was moving somehow having gotten in front of him.

"Di!" his voice cracked still dried out from the smoke in the fire.

"What!"

"Oh….never mind. It's Sash….thought it was you. Ok…nobody rock the boat…. …PLEASE!" It was a soft pleading whisper…..cowboy was losing to exhaustion yet again and things beyond his control accosting his body.

There was a few minutes of silence with just the fireplace crackling.

"Jess, your body is trembling. Way down deep."

There was no answer. Jess could feel deep inside his body was trembling in utter exhaustion he'd not felt for years and thought to himself he certainly wasn't going to admit that out loud. He'd just met this lovely creature just days ago. Now she's completely disarmed him AND she could feel that deeply inside him?...boy, that peanut stuff and peach ….kisses….sure tasted…that could topple apple pie…as his fav…fuu. She sure tasted… ...yummy… would it be possible to sleep latched onto that….

"Jess?"

She raised up slightly trying to see his face and in the shadows she could see his eyes closed, a very soft and peaceful face, so she laid back down and waited. Slowly over the next half hour as his breathing became more regular, the deep baritone groans in his exhales softened and stopped and last of all so did the deep trembling. The last thing she remembered was feeling his body sag limp as a wet noodle and really deep, even breathing. So she gently reached over his waist and across his chest toward his left shoulder and tilted his body a few degrees back toward herself to keep him from rolling forward and off the bed or on top of Sasha. It's not like she was going to bite him after all and the purpose for her being there was to heat his rear guard.

Di dropped into a deep sleep and didn't move the whole night until Jess had several muscle spasms hit his legs and back and he had to sit forward over Sasha to stretch his body in a different direction. It woke Di and she leaned forward putting her hand on his back in support waiting for the pain spasms to lift as she'd watched Maggie do earlier. She'd asked if she could help but Jess shook his head softly and after several moments they resettled and both dropped back off into deep sleep.

It was later in the morning when Maggie entered the room and stirred the fire in the fireplace that Chuck had rekindled in the middle of the cold January night. Slim and Mike were still zonked out in their room but they had turned onto their sides facing each other with Mike snuggled into Slim's chest. The dual sided fireplace opened into their room keeping it warm as well. Maggie stood up and touched Di's feet from on top the quilt waking her daughter quietly and Di peeked out from under the cover, her hair was still pinned up but it was fuzzed out some.

"Morning, Di." Her mother whispered quietly while checking out Jess' face for a temperature with the back of her fingers. Maggie's face was tender and soft reading Jess' face for tension.

"Mom! I can explain." She whispered back and tried to not move the bed and wake Jess who was still deep in sleep with a very peaceful expression on his face.

"No need, dear. Poppa found you in the middle of the night because you weren't in your bed."

"Aw oh."

"We had a lovely talk. You know it were anybody but Jess, there'd be another funeral to go to. But I pointed out you were still dressed and on top his covers and told him how badly Jess was so banged up he couldn't move a muscle. Just watch your step, ok? How about you take Sasha outside to do her chores, get yourself ready for the day, feed her and grab some breakfast. Then check back here. Jess may be ready to eat and you can fix a fresh tray. It's cold outside, so wrap up."

"Yes, Ma'am." Di eased out of the bed wrapping herself in her robe and gently plucked Sasha from under the quilt who instantly wiggled in protest of being removed from her warm cuddly nest at Jess' tummy and they left the room.

"Jess?" Maggie quietly called and lifted the curl of hair off his forehead but it obstinately flopped back to its guard position. From the shower his hair had dried unstyled and was a complete pile of messy waves and curls except with the ever present curl forelock and added to a 3rd morning scruff he looked quite ruggedly handsome. He was laying perfectly balanced on his left side with the right arm running lengthwise along his side with his hand on the top edge of his right thigh and in a semi-fetal curl. He was also still propped with the small supporting pillows in the same places and appeared as though he hadn't moved all night. She smiled and put her hand lightly over his right shoulder blade feeling for any heat indicating infection and did the same for both knees and the bullet wound at his hip. Jess didn't even twitch, his face still soft in deep sleep. She sat on the side of the bed purposefully but gently, pulled covers back off his chin and neck and touched his temple and cheek with the back of her fingers and called softly again. He still didn't move or even flinch, and for all appearance looked unconscious to the world of the living. Happy with his peace she stood back up and went to check out Slim and Mike. They both appeared to be sleeping but since there had been no supper the night before, it was now just past 9:30 a.m. and breakfast had been cooking and set up for at least an hour so it was time to get up. She felt Slim's forehead for any indication of fever, too. Unlike Jess' cool face, Slim's was quite warm, ruddy and dewy. He slowly woke up from a deep grogginess but once seeing her, he focused quickly.

"Is Jess …?" He started to get up and Maggie held her hand lightly on his shoulder to hold him down smiling to him reassuringly yet to herself still so impressed how Slim looked out for Jess. Slim couldn't have even taken a full breath and yet his first thought was concern over his pard.

"Sleeping quite soundly, all night. How are you doing?" Slim was a little unnerved by her sincere look of compassion as though he was the only one on her mind and in her care.

"Um…? Le's see….little warm. Leg's stinging some." He lifted the blanket taking a peek but couldn't remember the blanket. He was still in his fresh under clothes, long pant long johns from the shower the afternoon before.

"Would you like me to look at it?" Her voice was soft and assuring.

Slim's movement caused him to realize how closely Mike was tucked into him and he looked over at him and gently rolled him over off of his other arm. "Ya, probably should. Daisy was quite tired yesterday evening when she worked on me. Here, let me get up….." Slim was squirming… "….be easier for you."

Maggie stepped back and Slim grimaced as he moved stiff muscles and remembered he was in only his bottom long johns and started to reach for the robe laying across the foot of the bed for propriety. But Maggie saw him look for it and she automatically reached it handing it to him and then turned around taking another look back through the door to check Jess giving Slim some discretionary space to get out of the bed and cover up.

"Oooh…looks like my leg is leaking." He checked the bed and then sat back down on the side of the bed somewhat woozy and had the long john pant leg pulled up revealing the bandaged wound in his calf. The pant leg had spot marks of wetness and the bandage was even wetter with an odd off white yellow discharge. Maggie turned back around and kneeled down to one knee to look it over, removed the bandage and saw the discharge on the leg itself was cloudy. She frowned.

"No wonder you're running warm. We have some cloudy discharge and red rims to the wound. Are you woozy?"

"Ya."

"The wound is not happy. It's the early indications of the start of an infection. Let me go get my herbs. I have an old Indian recipe that I've used for years that will finish pulling the irritation and germs right out of that wound. It's a poultice we'll pack onto the wound and wrap it and we'll change it three times today. Should see some improvement by tonight. It will be best if you drink all the water you can put down today even if you have to live in the bathroom. Your body needs to flush this out, ok?"

"Yes, Ma'am. Whatever you tell me to do." Slim was looking over Maggie's shoulder checking his calf out and had a very sheepish, even boyish look. He was not comfortable being found with any weakness and concerned because this wound had been tended within hours of its occurrence.

"Is the stomach just grumbling or is it an all-out revolt?" She wanted to check his face for a temperature because it was redder than his normal healthy skin. Touching his leg she could feel the low fever and a closer look at his face indicated sunburn from the fire, so she didn't go feeling. She kept the low fever to herself so he wouldn't be alarmed. It was early yet anyway.

"Just a little queasy and I am thirsty."

"We'll get the hot broth and toast going which you should be able to hold down. If you hold that down we'll try more solid food. The thirst is your body asking for the fluid. Do you fight infections or colds a lot?

"Rarely sick. Had a gunshot in my arm once got nasty but it was a day before I could tend it. Once it was treated, it snapped right back."

"Well, you're young and definitely healthy, Slim, so I'm not worried. We just need to stay on top." Her confidence was completely reassuring. "If you have any questions, or feel something strange, let me know. It will be wet there today, so don't wear anything that can't be cleaned later. We'll change it after lunch and then before bed. Do you have anything but boots?"

"I'm surprised this has started. All I brought was boots."

"I'm not at all. Barns are notoriously filthy plus the fire, smoke, ashes, the good Lord knows how long that ammunition had been collecting dust in that back room. That wound is close to the ground where all the dust and dirt was floating. I've got a pair of slippers put back for Jerry's birthday you can have. Your feet look about the same size." The mother part of her was creeping in just a tiny bit onto Slim.

"I don't want to rob your gift stash."

She patted his knee reassuringly. Then she left her hand on it to begin standing back up and Slim took her elbow and arm to help her achieve full height.

"What and rob me of another excuse to go shopping?" She smiled big and promptly plopped her hands on her hips in a mock protest. She held her smile and then waved him off. "I'll have plenty of time to replace them and I do love shopping." Her smile was so open and genuine it would take anybody's concern away. Again Slim was enchanted with her manner of treating people like long time close friends and her comment brought a small smile.

"How's Jess doing? Don't hold back, or butter coat it."

"His body is cool without the clammy, he's tucked in toasty warm and sound asleep, breathing is steady and quiet. I expect he stood in that hot shower quite a while when he got in there, got a good rinse on his wound. Medically they call it debridement. The buckboard accident he just went through helped his body build up a good supply of resistance."

Slim's head went up also remembering the blood transfusion event with Josie.

"Right! He's been banged up on and off now for about 18 months. Gets put back together and then something else knocks him out of the saddle."

"Is he accident prone?"

"No, not really any more than the usual cowboy crap, you know, life on the frontier, odd gunfight or saloon fight. But he doesn't back down from a fight either. Just this last year or so things have been pretty busy. Always has a healthy appetite but doesn't put on the weight. I figure that's because he just didn't get enough food when he was growing up and he's making up for it now."

"Well, some people have to eat to maintain their weight, too. Something to do with metabolism. I read about it in literature my sister sends me. I let you check out the men's room, I'll go get my poultice and we'll meet back here in a few minutes. Will Mike sleep late?"

"Naw, nature's gunna be hollering at him pretty soon and I smell food. That always gets him, too. Seen Daisy yet?"

"Yes, she's slept very well and is in helping fix breakfast. She and Ada's having quite a time discussing chives or salsa over the scrambled eggs. Ada's mother was Mexican and you don't eat anything without salsa. You should have seen Daisy's face light up though when she first saw my herb garden. That Daisy. She's a doll."

"She sure is. I bet that will be added to our 'to do list.' Better direct me to yours so I can see what we're gunna be volunteered to build." Slim wrapped the robe tighter and headed out to the bedroom door behind Maggie trying to keep from stepping on her heels. His legs were longer… it was a common problem of his life not over walking people's heels because their strides are shorter.

Coming back from the bathroom Slim cut through Jess' room and leaned over to see his face and smiled again. Slim always enjoyed seeing Jess sleep especially all cuddled in an oversized bed with thick, fluffy quilts and pillows. It made him look like a small boy, well, except for the strong show of scruff on his face. They were those rare moments when Jess' mind wasn't engaged always pursuing life and stirring up the pot on something or bursting through doors, neither in fast forward or reverse but just parked. He enjoyed the view for several moments. Not wanting to complicate their host's routine delaying meals, Jess really needed to get up so he could eat before they took down the buffet to put up lunch. Knowing Maggie, she probably had Ada cook a huge breakfast knowing Jess would have a voracious appetite this morning and it was against Slim's "religion" to throw away good food. Everyone had gotten to bed at a decent time last night. If he knew Jess like he thought he did just like Maggie had learned, Jess should be ravenous by now and breakfast was one of his favorite meals, especially the Wentworth breakfast buffet. Every time watching Jess' eyes twinkle and light up standing at the Wentworth buffet was like watching a young kid with a free pass at a candy counter. It always brought a smile and near chuckle inside Slim. Ok, well, somebody has to break the peaceful silence…. fire the start gun….light the fuse….open the gate and watch Jess pursue life. Slim took a deep sigh and then reached over and whapped Jess' right bicep lightly enough to get through the fog but not enough to hurt the shoulder.

"Hey, Slingshot! You awake?"

Jess jerked and his eyelids fluttered but didn't quite make full staff and he grumped deep and low in his throat. But he didn't move.

"Jess! It's morning. Time to get up. They're holding up breakfast waiting on us."

"Go way." Was the pillowed mumble. Obviously Jess was still asleep and not listening to his gut.

Then just as suddenly, Jess' head poked up and he twisted around to see if Di was still in the bed with him. The twist woke up everything else in his body and shot pain spasms through his stiff and very sore body and he had to curl back forward to keep all the injured parts from going into a full cramp. "OWW!" was smothered in the pillow right next to the 'go away' and he curled tightly in a fetal position. Slim thought he heard a cry as would come from a child sobbing in pain, but it was smothered in the pillow and he wasn't sure, probably because a child's voice wouldn't be that deep.

"Where's your girlfriend?" Slim began poking around the obvious extra quilt laying cockeyed over the usual bedding, but his poking was with fingertips ready at an instant to retreat should a growling snap suddenly jump out at him.

Jess opened his eyes enough and reached for his stomach area looking for Sasha and not finding her.

"Sashalina?" He called softly, kissing the air and checked his head pillow and attempted another, smaller twist to his back.

Maggie poked her head in from Slim's room with her hands full of supplies.

"Di took Sasha outside to do her chores and then feed her. Never seen a dog be able to go so long without trips outside, but she never boo-boos in the house. They'll be right back as soon as Di eats some breakfast. Are you ready Slim?"

Slim was smiling at the disheveled Jess who was now rubbing his eyelids trying to unglue the forest of eyelashes. He was not succeeding very well because they were mostly stuck with dried tears and residual fire irritation.

"Ya, ready." He went to his bed and Jess tried to watch them go through the doorway open between them still rubbing his eyes and squinting.

"What's wrong with Slim?" There was real concern in Jess' voice and bleary-eyed he tried to sit up to get out of bed and inspect his pard and got pulled back down by more sore stiffness and grumping pain spasms in a body that was neither awake nor wanted to move yet and he murmured, "Dadgum!" as he curled back deep into the bedding and re-covered his self. 'Sides the room was cooler than under his pile of pillowy down filled bedding.

"Just a mild show of infection on his calf. I'm putting an old Indian poultice on it to drain it. Not to worry." Maggie called from Slim's room. The voices woke Mike up and he ran out of the bedroom to the bathroom and Maggie smiled at Slim who had grabbed the bedding that had tucked under Mike so it wouldn't get pulled to the floor.

Maggie had the poultice in place and tied down with fresh bandaging within a minute or so and patted Slim on the leg and then shoved the slippers on his feet making him lift them for her. Not too surprising, the slippers actually fit.

"Good to go. Take it easy today, ok? Maybe grab a nap later. I'll check on your partner and meet you in the kitchen so I can fix your queasy some toast and broth. Try to drink some water and see what your stomach says so you'll know how much broth you can hold down. You might just be over hungry with not a lot of food yesterday."

"Sounds like a plan. Food does smell awful good."

Maggie got up and closed the adjoining door so Slim could get dressed and she approached Jess who was laying back in the pillow half snoozing, half still trying to pry his eyes open and overall undecided if he wanted to wake up.

"Sleep well?"

"Don't think I've ever slept that deep….ever. Don't remember any….. Had dreams, but then just floated. Not like being unconscious either." He paused for a moment, then mumbled again, "Dad….gum! Must be this room again." He was looking around the room still rubbing his eyes with his left hand.

Maggie diverted quickly through the bathroom and brought Jess a very warm, even hot, wet face cloth and tossed it to him as she reached the bed. Jess gratefully unfolded it and groaned as he applied it to his face trying to unglue the lashes. Quite possibly some leftover peanut, peaches and kisses were acting as morning glue on a sticky face. The idea of ash residue never crossed his mind.

"Poppa and I both checked on you at different times through the night, he stoked up the fire because both rooms were too cool. You seemed to be sleeping quite well." She sat back down on the side of the bed near Jess' waist as Jess had rolled partially over and re-covered his eyes with the cloth in his left hand.

"I'm not going to hide anything, um…Mom. Di slept on the bed with me, I think all night. Well she started there, not sure how long she stayed. BUT she was on top the blankets and still fully dressed, so nothing happened." Then under his breath, "Not like I could move or anything."

Maggie smiled and rubbed his arm compassionately. "I know. Poppa made his rounds and couldn't find her in her bed, so we had a little recon mission during the night. But it's decent of you to tell me, Jess."

"Just don't want you or Chuck to think….you know what he told Jerry at the table."

"We trust you, Jess. I know you're banged up, but you're not dead yet and are a full grown man, so I understand what you're sayin' and I appreciate your honesty. Di….. well, let's just say Di is naive about men."

"I know." Jess turned the cloth over and laid it back to soak his face.

"You do?" She frowned wondering how. "And how do you know?"

Jess was back to rubbing his eyes with the cloth trying to separate the forest of eyelashes into some order as the hot water seemed to help melt the glue. His was also finding his eyes felt bloodshot and they were weepy, must be from the irritation of the fire ash and smoke. Some of it had to have dried on the eyelashes as he slept making opening his eyes and keeping them open uncomfortable. The cloth was a lifesaver.

"It'sa man thing, Mom. Don't know how, just do. Maybe Chuck can explain…. I do respect the … what'd you call it? Nativity. You have my word."

Yes, "nativity"…..he was still half asleep.

"Well, Jess…." Maggie folded her hands in her lap and it caused Jess to pull the cloth down and look at her suspiciously.

"Well, what?" His tone was suspicious and he was blinking and frowning knowing he'd not done anything that could cause a "well" comment. He scooched up on the headboard to a half sitting position preparing to gather his defense but the movements not only hurt, the skin on his thigh especially the gouge was screaming in sensitivity being touched by anything, including soft downy sheets. He got settled but as Maggie talked he had to keep lifting the sheets with his left hand on top trying to maintain a tent over his thigh without making it obvious. But the bedding would keep sinking back down softly onto his bare skin thigh and knee. He finally propped several of the smaller pillows under the sheets around his knee and thigh to support the bedding up and that worked so he folded the now cool cloth holding in his hands on his lap to listen. He was still slightly squinting with dry burning eyes but at least he could see through the forest.

"There's only so much either parent can do to prepare a daughter for her future. To a woman, some things come naturally because of our hormones and the like and we parents don't worry about that. But then there are things men…and I mean good, trustworthy men… are valuable for in preparing a woman. It's rare to find one of those men, and you hope someday that your daughter will find this kind of man and help your daughter find her life and purpose. With the right person, it begins to grow a relationship that over time blooms into a life of commitment through good times and bad times and they strengthen each other. A daughter needs a good, strong man friend. My folks recognized this when Poppa came into my world and we've had a wonderful lifetime together. We'd only hope and pray that something as nice as that would happen with our only daughter. If we had any doubts about your intentions, Jess, you'd have been woken up in the middle of the night with a gun shoved in your mouth. So I hope you will relax and enjoy the process of life as it will unfold and just keep an open mind about whatever you feel you can do to add to both yours and Di's life by your experience and wisdom."

She could tell by the puzzled and absolutely lost look in Jess' eyes that her thoughts were a little ahead of where his sleep hangover was working so she changed the subject. She seemed comfortable sitting on the side of his bed as she'd done on their first visit and the ease she felt sitting next to his leg. Jess didn't mind either. He realized she had returned to the same position from that first visit where she'd opened her heart and poured out her soul to him… perhaps she needed some more and he certainly enjoyed her….for some odd reason.

"Are you hurting strongly in one spot more than another, or feel any leaking, heat or queasiness?"

Jess was frowning slightly by being confused by her dissertation and then sudden turn about so he had to take a quick inventory of himself.

"Uh….no. Stiff and sore and ravenous…food smells great. Just let me know a little ahead and so's I can be up in time for the funeral. Reckon it's gunna take me longer to get where I'm headed for a few days."

"Apparently that's been moved to tomorrow. We're not really set up for cremation around here and they've been taken to Denver, but Elroy had preplanned everything. Still, they couldn't get done until today. So you….and Slim… have the day to sleep and rest up. Slim sure needs it. He tries to hide his self as much as you, but he's exhausted. Are you up to walking to the dining room for breakfast or I can have Di bring you a tray and you can eat here?"

"I'll come. It's not that far." Jess was lying trying to be tough, but he was still exhausted and hurting just lying in the bed. Added to the ache was the heavy pressure when the down-filled bedding was pulled back. He'd felt this pressure before and was trying to remember when and why.

"I dunno, son. Weather outside getting geared up, temperature's dropping like an egg off a counter and the clouds are getting thicker. I'm afraid the funerals tomorrow are gunna be purely frozen. Better save your strength for tomorrow and let your body get a day's head start on mending. I think you need a day off. I'll have her bring your food today." She offered her hand to take the cloth and after a moment thought trying to figure out what she wanted he remembered it was in his hand and gave it to her.

"You're the boss, Mom." Jess gave up easily. This bed in this room and all the fluffy down filled this and that and generously sized homemade quilts made it awful hard to move away from. Having a full bed this plush and loaded with soft fluffiness without being overly hot was a new experience for him as a repeat from their first 2 visits. He looked as though he was swamped and sitting inside a cumulous cloud. Without moving from the bed, the wall opposite the joining doorway and fireplace was a big bay window with a picture view of the mountains in the distance, fireplace crackling on the opposite wall, indoor lu a few feet away…pretty women everywhere …. plenty of good, really great fresh home-cooked food…. man'd be pure stupid to want to escape that.

"Sounds good and we'll plan accordingly. We should start the hot compresses on your leg late today or tomorrow."

"How is Slim? I mean, really, with him not overhearing now?" Jess was plainly worried about his own pardner.

"It just the beginning of an alert to the bullet wound in his calf muscle. I work hard at monitoring wounds because you don't let infections get ahead of you. My poultice is from a very old Indian recipe and has never failed me in 30 years on this ranch. He's a strong buck, Jess. Not to worry. Quite a young man, some woman's going to be very, very lucky!"

"Ya, well, he's holding out for my twin, I think. That's one experience I ain't gunna miss, for sure."

"Your twin? Oh right, the one you mentioned when we were looking for the hospital site. Where is she?"

"On the drift. Reckon she'll be showing back up soon. She's not going to find anything out there better than Slim, but being a Harper, she needs to remove the questions and options so she's sure."

"I remember your mother thinking she was carrying twins but I was there when you born and it was you alone." Maggie was confused but her eyes twinkled at Jess' cupid comment.

"She never knew. Well, never confirmed. Josie's lawyer reported Ma nearly died giving birth and Pa sold Josie off while Ma was still unconscious, so neither of us knew about her."

"I remember her going through a rough birth and they nearly lost her but we weren't allowed near her or you for quite a while. She was just so elated with you and I could sense from her a stronger than normal bond with you but that wasn't hard at all. You were such a beautiful little baby boy and your temperament was so different than your older brothers….was like night and day. We both bonded to you but I was thrilled for her to be able to have you so close, something finally wonderful she could hold in her arms. I knew her health began to become fragile after your birth, which makes sense now since you were a twin. But then we moved away, and I only got that one letter. That's just ….sad, Jess. I…. don't know what to say. Sarah was such a natural mother."

Jess didn't want to go further down that road, especially with the renewed horror of a fire so he changed the subject.

"Do you have any idea what the value is on Elroy's ranch? I know it's primarily a horse operation."

"Well, I've only heard general comments, don't know the particulars. Elroy's ranch is about the same size as Jr's and each of theirs is about 3/4ths the size of ours. Heard Poppa mention to Jr yesterday of a value in the neighborhood of $150 to $175,000 area but I think that depends on the size of herd on hand at the moment of sale. I can ask him to come talk with you."

"No, he's got more than enough on his hands right now dealing with losing his pard, funeral things and now dealing with the estate, too. Doesn't need me poking around. I'll talk with him later when I see how he's doing."

"That's thoughtful of you, Jess, thank you. He is pretty upset." She patted him softly on his left forearm resting in his lap, got up gently and headed for the door tossing the robe over her shoulder at him so he could crawl into it from the sheets once she was out sight.

"Maggie?" Jess was still scratching his head about what she'd said.

"Yes, dear?" She stopped in the doorway tossed the cloth into the bathroom and then looked back and Jess who was sorting out the robe one handed.

"What you were talking about, you know, a man coming along to teach a daughter? Do you mean like getting the right horse trainer to take on a young horse and finish them out proper?"

Maggie grinned widely and holding his eye contact eased coyly around the door jamb out of sight, her fingers disappearing last lightly drumming the door jam.

"I'll be….dadgum….!" Jess exclaimed under his breath with eyes that looked like a deer caught in headlights he actually guessed correctly. He gingerly grabbed the covers back and eased the robe on….. "Women…ow!..." grimacing at moving the shoulder… "… and their words."

Jess' legs were so battered with deep bruising into the muscle he had to physically move both legs off the bed with his left hand and he inspected them as he fussed getting the robe on… well mostly on because the shoulder refused to bend and he did a half hitch on the tie. Groaning and grimacing with the very stiff and sore legs he began hobbling to the door but he was reaching for furniture and walls to gimp against because the right leg would still not balance any weight at all. He got almost to the door when Di came striding through it in a huge hurry with Sasha running at her feet looking like they were having a race. Di was looking and giggling at Sasha. Di had changed clothes and her hair was half done in that it had been taken down and combed through and then tied in a quick, loose square knot at the ends. She was a little flushed and slightly winded from rushing back to Jess' room with her mother left behind unsure what was going on behind her back having been found in his bed. They almost knocked heads running into each other and being so concentrated trying to gimp to the door headed to the bathroom he didn't see her coming, it caught Jess off balance. Truth be told, she was in a huge hurry and not watching where she was going and nearly ran him over in full face to face contact. More from instinct than planned thought, he gave way to the female of the species and started to windmill looking for something to grab hold. That is to say, something safe as in not an inappropriate female body part. Di quickly grabbed Jess' left arm to keep him from going down, then grabbed him around the waist to balance him as even though he outweighed her by 60 pounds, she was moving faster so he'd already lost the majority of his balance to catch his self. They accomplished a half pirouette from her momentum and with nothing around to catch and his legs not working Jess had to grab onto her to keep from falling and making his injuries worse. He ended up in a signature Jess-hug wrapped with his nose in her neck and blinded as the "dance" shook her hair knot loose and it fell around them. It was undetermined whether he enjoyed more the full body contact or the flow of her hair swirling around him because he held her in close body contact with a pleasant look on his face. Unfortunately in her youthful vim and vigor, she didn't think to stretch out her moment and pulled back holding his waist. Jess had to reluctantly retreat to her elbows…. also retreating his aim to kiss her cheek which had been so close…..and she smelled so good….mix of flowers and food. To him, her au natural state of morning before becoming groomed for the day only magnified her natural beauty and it more than captivated him. Most women he'd encountered were dressed for the day or their work and were in full war paint.

"Whoa!" He coached with a chuckle, but grateful for the catch. "Easy, girl."

"You're up! I figured you'd still be in bed." She exclaimed in concerned delight. Unnoticed by either one, Sasha had turned and ran into the bathroom to wait for her human.

"Barely vertical, Di….just underway …. Dadgum, you sure look purdy in the mornin'!" Jess' voice was at least a half octave higher than normal and he was staring at her natural beauty while nervously backing his bum into the um…. familiar corner door jamb visited so long ago. He was trying to balance his body against it as he needed to quickly regrab the robe. His sloppy half hitch had given way under contact of their dance move. His um…long johns were showing. He was hoping his face wasn't turning pink under the contrasting dark color of his scruff because aside from the cooler room now reaching the parts of his skin that was bare, other parts of his body was a normal, healthy male being awakened by a stunningly gorgeous woman who amply and perfectly fit his frame and was not yet padded by the full entourage of women's underclothing… aaand his pipes were overdue for being emptied from 12 hours of deep sleep with no potty break. Being a normal, healthy female having exchanged unpadded contact with a well-built cowboy, she was blushing, too, and offering her hands to help steady him as he was still unbalanced, grinning and fumbling the wall behind his self trying to find the dadgum door knob of the bathroom that he knew just had to be hiding somewhere within inches of his mitts!

"Need some help?" She offered without thinking not wanting to see him slip to the floor or jerk his injured shoulder.

He smiled looking up from the floor to her face thinking his eyelashes would be a good distraction for her from his failing wardrobe. For some odd reason women seemed fascinated with his. His eyelashes.

Well….the wardrobe, too…..especially failures.

" 'At's ok, Di. I'm a big boy, I…a..." a small chuckle of embarrassment escaped… "… can do this part all by myself." He gently reassured her relieved his voice dropped back to its deep timber and added his signature smile and uncondescending charm that was oozing from his pores.

She couldn't resist and blushed more realizing what she'd said. "I…I'm sso….sorry, Jess. I didn't mean to impl…."

She began stuttering and mid-sentence he reached over and quickly but purposefully kissed her flushed lips surprising her to where she couldn't think fast enough to kiss back. It was sheer impulse and he wasn't quite sure where it came from, but for some reason whenever she'd get flustered, her lips became so magnetic… they were such an unusually pretty color of peach this morning. But the taste…was no impulse to apologize for.

"Hmmm…..what's for breakfast?" He politely licked his lips trying to sort out the flavors and while tasting both her and the food, defaulting to food but staring at her lips…..those dewy, light peachy colored…next to that flawless cream tinted skin was more perfect than Slim's face skin….and look at all that gold, shiny hair flowing around her shoulders was so haphazard it was inviting.

"Huh? Oh! Daisy and Ada have made a ton of these really fluffy scrambled eggs with chives and salsa. I think they are competing for who can make the fluffiest eggs. Oh! And vanilla flavored pancakes, bacon and smoked ham. Plenty of hot coffee. How hungry are you and are you coming to the table?"

"Oh, dadgum! Sounds great. I'm starving, could eat the whole buffet." Jess' mouth was watering in anticipation and he continued inching into the bathroom. "Looks like Dr. Mom has confined me to bed and ordered to rest the whole day in order to handle funerals tomorrow. Um…room service here is top notch, you know! Best I've ever had." He was still trying to get her mind off of his lack of decorum and savoir-faire. His clumsy.

"Is that right? Salsa or chives on your eggs?" she teased back in a faux pout but thrilled she'd be waiting on him all day. Jess had hobbled into the bathroom but was still clinging to the door from the inside with the sore right arm holding his robe closed, the bandaged left hand operating the door.

"What's chives?" The door wavered partially closed as Jess peeked back out through a crack.

"Little green onion tops…..chopped up real fine."

"Ya, both and don't forget the peach jelly!" He closed the door softly. "And that peanut stuff, too!" Then through the door, "For the pancakes."

She smiled and through the door could hear Jess talking to Sasha. "I like onions, don't matter size or color. And peanut stuff and peach jelly on pancakes, Sash! 'at's as righteous as apple pie! I'll nab some for you. Hey, I thought you did yours outside…. so scoot over. Make way for tall people."

She could hear Sasha chortle softly and her tail thumping on something wooden. Di shook her head touched her lips with her fingertip where Jess had stolen his smooch and with a smile and a lively bouncing step took off down the hall to retrieve a breakfast tray loaded with food and fun while re-tying her loosened hair back together back into the knot.

In the bay window in his room was a small round table large enough to hold Di's loaded breakfast tray. How she carried such a heavy, loaded tray baffled Jess but she got it to the table before he could gimp to help her. Beside the table were two overstuffed leather chairs and propped with pillows and with the robe securely tied and an extra blanket wrapped around him Indian style and the fireplace going full bore, Jess sat down to eat. Nearly two days without any real food and he was ravenous. Di was keeping him company from the other chair replenishing whatever he emptied, making one extra trip back to the kitchen for refills of a few items completely amazed at how much food he could hold. He polished off 3 plates full of scrambled eggs appropriately submerged in salsa and chives, country potatoes fried with onions, both bacon and ham plus pancakes with lots of coffee. Then stuffed full of food, he promptly oozed back into bed and dozed off into another nap. Sasha dutifully took her post at his tummy and Di packed them in with the quilts and pillows. Then she made two trips to carry everything back to the kitchen shaking her head in wonderment how much he could eat if he was active on say a trail drive.

Everyone had a quiet day with naps and snacks but the atmosphere in the house had an over hanging silence that was deafening in shock and deep sadness. Chuck was swamped dealing with his best bud and lifelong pardner's estate and funeral plans which had to be done either in person or by wires which put him out of the house quite a bit of the day and Maggie went with him on some. Both Slim and Jess had several solid, long naps most of that day from sheer exhaustion and soreness having fought the huge blaze on an icy cold day. The ranch hands on both sides did little else as Elroy's ranch was in shock having lost their owner/ boss, his daughter and their biggest barn and they began picking through the rubble and organizing a clean-up. Jr was helping them and engineered bringing several loads of feed and hay and finding a location to haul the debris. Their overhanging silence was the unknown future. Slim was able to hold down a fair amount of soups and homemade bread, his grumpy stomach turned out to be mostly from not being fed the day before. He hobbled from his bed to the kitchen for snacks every hour or so then to the bathroom as he dutifully drank tons of water, coffee, milk or anything liquid….accompanied by matching trips to the lu. Jess had no problem putting down any food brought on the multiple trips of tray deliveries and ate anything brought. Any amount of food on either man's stomachs sent them quickly into another nap. The family did fix a full menu supper and dessert as Maggie's therapy for the overwhelming doom was nursing injuries and cooking food. Di was being tutored in both as Maggie kept retrieving Di from Jess' room so he could sleep. Slim ate small snacks all day and wanted to eat at the table to keep Chuck company and to monitor him. Di brought both her meals and Jess' and they ate supper in his room.

Maggie was very happy with the amount of drainage she was getting from Slim's leg as her poultice once again was just draining crap out of his leg like a waterfall. The only ingredient he could get her to divulge was table sugar, the rest remained her secret. Slim had never heard of that use. On the other hand Jess happened to be awake one of the times they were changing the poultice discussing her poultice and he hobbled to Slim's room to check out his pard. Once Maggie got Jess' face pulled away from inspecting Slim's leg Jess laid across the bed where Slim was sitting, and began to share he was quite familiar with using table sugar to drain wounds and he'd used it very successfully many times draining proud flesh on horse wounds along with "his" other secret ingredient. And since Slim was "big enough to eat oats" sugar should work fine on him too, only they "didn't need to be as pretty as Maggie was making them, just pack it into the wounds with your hands." Jess was ready to push in volunteering to show her when Maggie and Di's eyes made contact and Di diplomatically rolled Jess over and out of reach. The slow roll redirected Jess' mind as gravity pulled on his sore spots and tender thigh skin. Just minutes later Jess' fluffy bed began calling his name and he rejoined Sasha for yet another nap. So between Maggie and Jess discussing home-brewed remedies, it was Slim's turn to be the less educated one and aside from being embarrassed over all the attention, he was relieved seeing the drainage. They were getting so much drainage she changed the poultice 5 times and she put a hot compress on it during one of his long naps where she could wrap it in lots of thick towels and a plastic sheet to sweat it out. His fever broke mid-afternoon and that night she put him back through not a hot shower, but a hot tub bath with salts before bed. She ran the tub water so hot Slim had to ease himself into it inch by inch which he'd never experienced before and he submitted to it only on the condition that Jess never knew. He still hadn't been paid back for the "ejection minus towel" event earlier that fall and wasn't opening any opportunities. So Maggie snuck him into Jr's old bedroom's bathroom after Jess went to sleep for the night and after he soaked for a good hour Slim was so relaxed he barely made it back to his own bed from the hot bath before he conked out into oblivion. By morning Slim's temperature was normal to cool, his calf wound was clearing nicely and his sore muscles were only mildly complaining due to the hot bath. The side benefit was his complexion looked like he'd had a million dollar facial and he really didn't need one but he sure felt like he'd slept for 3 weeks. He even managed a fairly decent sized breakfast the morning of the funeral. Maggie didn't mess around with infections.

Daisy thought she woke up fighting a head cold that morning, but after assigning Mike a good day's homework with books Maggie had, she slept most of the day, too and was fine by supper where she was then sure it had just been standing downwind of the smoke from the fire had irritated her throat. She was very relieved Maggie took over nursing Slim's leg. Mike preferred sleeping with Slim over using Jerry's old bedroom and since Jess had Di then Mike became the bird dog if Slim needed anything during the night.

CHAPTER 5: Frozen Funeral Farewells

The delay to the funeral by a day was due to the fact the bodies had to be transported to Denver for cremation. The combined funeral for father and daughter though was held at the nearby church at 2 pm and typical of funerals always landing on bad weather the local elders were reading weather signs to be an eminent big nor'easter with expected significant snow. There were bets if the funeral finished before the blizzard started or not. It was cold, cloudy and very windy, the kind that just cuts through every ounce of clothing you could pile on and was a chief cause of pain for both Slim and Jess as the atmosphere was gearing up for attack plus they had to leave the warmth of the log lodge and full bore fireplaces. Jess was especially uncomfortable feeling like he had sludge for blood due to the higher air pressure prior to storms on his achy body parts. Everyone was bundled up tight and it was decided at the church before the service began to do the release of ashes days or even weeks later as soon as the weather broke and warmed up some. The church grounds were very crowded with hands from both ranches and staff plus some of the town people and the service was abbreviated so everyone could get tucked back home before getting stuck in the expected blizzard. Along with some of the church families' best cooks, Elroy's house staff along with the Wentworth's extra cook, Ada and then Bessy had been cooking solid for 2 days and had enough food prepared for all the hands back at their respective ranches for an early supper and then to feed the stock and get tucked in for the night.

For the funeral the Wentworths were riding in their best buggy and the Laramie guests were in Jess' new acquisition. Slim finally got to drive only over protest by Jess until Maggie gently sidelined him due to injury. You don't argue with either your "doctor or your mother," so Jess gave in. She told Slim privately that in her "home hospital" anyone taking meals in bed was disqualified from driving buggies and Slim grinned at her in agreement with her adjudication. Her rule proved true on the ride home, too. Jr rode an escort horse in case of emergency and he basically froze. Both buggies had drop down side tarps enclosing the passengers and had bench seats with brick inner compartments that carried pre-heated stones that helped for the first ½ of the trip going. It was a nice gesture, but winter was not backing down. Over protest Maggie had bound Jess' right arm around his body under his long handles and shirt to force him to not use it and both men had been issued Wentworth quality canes to limp against. Jess' legs were so swollen against the tight jeans he couldn't really bend them but just a few degrees before the pressure was too much against the bruising and raw gouge. His walking was stiff and the processes of sitting and standing were an awkward sequence of maneuvers that would have been very painful just to watch in a normal human. But with Jess, his awkwardness was almost comical because he was more in tune with and used to a whole, athletic body. Between his left knee, his right thigh swelling upward into the buckboard accident's old scar tissue in his groin and his right shoulder blade, he was misery to watch whilst one fought chuckles in compassion. He tried to hide it, but nobody believed he was painless and when people tried to help he'd wave them off like a little boy unwilling to admit he needed help while groaning under his breath the whole time. The deep groove from the end edge of the horseshoe was so sensitive to everything, compression, any type of material, even air especially cold air, it kept Jess' eyes dully moisturized and sucking air through the gap in his front teeth wincing with each step. The only thing that seemed to squelch it's squalling was warmth and that meant his only free hand, the left paw whenever it was free. Some of that heat was from Di's overflowing skirt layers when he could filch an overlay without catching anybody watching. Di caught on very quickly and helped cover the leg and then hide his efforts by snuggling into him in her grief so he could tuck his legs under her skirt overflow. She was wearing wool slacks underneath her dress anyway and she was a natural heater Jess couldn't get close enough to. At least his eyes were less bloodshot but were still over watering from smoke irritation which was embarrassing.

When they had first arrived at the church they drove up next to the Elroy's ranch hands who were gathered up with the Wentworth hands all waiting outside the church in the cold circled up stomping their feet to generate some heat and smoking tobacco looking like a cul-de-sac of smoke stacks from fireplaces. They nodded to the Wentworth buggy as it pulled up and unloaded but when Slim and Jess' buggy arrived just behind them, as Slim got down and started to help Daisy off, all Elroy's hands swarmed quickly and eagerly to Slim with grins and smiles. It was uncertain what all they were saying as they all started talking at once, but they were wringing his hand off and slapping him on the back which caused him to wince through the coat and gloves as they bumped up on his burn blisters bandaged underneath. He smiled back but was blushing so hard you couldn't tell the blush from the cold on his face. Daisy was a tad put out having to wait in the buggy with the all the smoke being exhaled around her while they bustled around Slim just off the front seat where he'd been driving. Jess saw the commotion and Daisy shivering, so he got Mike off quickly and reached for Daisy and she gladly slid over and accepted Jess' limited assistance getting off the fancy buggy. He reached for her and just before stepping off she plucked a piece of tissue off the right side of his face where he'd nicked himself shaving one handed. Then she accepted Jess' offered arm and Mike who stepped back up to help Jess, and left the Elroy hands to escort Slim to the church. Slim's cane arrived at the church door by itself and was handed over head from one to the other until it caught up to him. At the church stairs Slim caught up and purposefully pushed in to gather Daisy and help her up the steps into the church and Di latched onto Jess' left elbow to his offered escort but ended up being more in an assisting him up the stairs with stiff legs. Mike grabbed Jess' coat on the other side so he wouldn't get pushed away in the bustling crowd bumping into each other as it tried to get inside the church's small doorway all at the same time behind them. The hands were being polite waiting for Jess to maneuver the steps, but due to the crowd they were shoving up tight behind him unwittingly nearly toppling him. Both Slim and Jess were back in their shoulder holsters hidden under their outer coats and while Slim could handle his coat and hat, Di was busy fussing over Jess' trying to help him with and he'd give her a short look now and again over "being handled like a boy child unable to dress his self. He was supposed to help the ladies with their coats, not them help him." Then he'd see her flinch and he'd immediately recant not wanting to add to her emotional day and gave her a peck on the cheek and she'd blush into his hug which of course was up next to her ear and tucked in her hair curls hanging down. It looked like to the crowd behind that he was comforting her emotional grief losing her best friend. He was, but he was also snuggling into the heat she generated and face to face hugs were preferred directly covering his thigh.

During the service inside the church Di still had a latch onto Jess' elbow and wouldn't turn loose as she was struggling as much as Chuck with their emotions and Chuck was hanging onto Maggie. Daisy kept a sharp watch on Slim. His leg infection was clearing up nicely, but a calf muscle is vital to walking and once that cold air hit his body the entire leg commenced complaining and with 2 days being just off his full feed, he began dragging quickly.

Jess struggled with both of his bruised legs and their swelling. The right one mostly would not accept weight and was so swollen against the tight jeans it was unbendable. There were no alternative pants anywhere he could borrow that had a chance of fitting him. That skin tightness was both good and bad. It was good because the tightness of the jean material meant it didn't move back and forth across the top layer of skin of the closed horseshoe scape irritating the sensitivity of the skin surface. It was bad because it still made a constant contact with the skin gash and the loosened skin underneath the gash groove moved because it had been ruffled beneath the epidermis layer. That meant pain that felt like burning a match directly along the vertical gash every minute of movement standing or sitting. The only relief Jess could arrange was holding his hand over as much of the vertical gash as possible and adding warmth which served mildly as a pacifier to the nerve pain, but at least he could breathe. He had zero lap available. The left knee was swollen and barely took weight but the knee was so inflated in the tight jeans that he couldn't bend when seated. Sitting and standing, some walking were sheer efforts of negotiated calisthenics. His right shoulder was painful with any movement and sheer gravity even though it was tied down to his side with the outside coat just thrown over it and buttoned down. His normally tanned face was both pale from the constant pain and tinged a light pink from the cold.

The Wentworth family took up the small country church's first pew with the exception of Di and is why she remained attached to Jess and willingly took the second pew filled up by the Laramie guests. Slim and Jess both had difficulty squeezing their legs into the second pew's shortened leg space, Slim due to height and Jess due to swollen unbendable body parts but everyone was happy being squeezed together because it was warmer. Chuck and Di fought tears and Maggie comforted Chuck leaning into him while Di nestled under Jess' left arm and clung to him. She'd cuddle into his left side and he'd sneak her coat and dress skirt over his legs for added warmth. With the blizzard on the starting line waiting for the gun to fire, the barometric pressure on Jess' body was becoming increasingly difficult to bear and the longer the afternoon went the more he was groaning under his breath with each exhale or movement. Di's body touching him helped distract his nerves as well but he wasn't willing to admit that. By the end of the deeply touching service recounting the long life of Elroy and the perky daughter added to a goodly amount of scripture, Di was weeping and had her head on Jess' shoulder. She was trying her hardest to not collapse all together in a heap of grief and maintain some family dignity. Jess felt sorry for Jr who looked as out of place off a horse and in a church's chapel and lost in helplessness as a lone wolf separated from his pack. The cowhands of both ranches filled most of the rest of the church and the longer the service went, the more restless they became needing to freshen their nicotine habits. And the longer it went on, the more Jess and Slim fidgeted due to the pain, sore stiff muscles and a very hard wooden pew. The type of funeral service the parson conducted required various times of standing up for this song or that reading, and then kneeling forward on a pull down ledge off the pew in front for a prayer. The first time they had to move Daisy knew what to do and she had Mike by the hand, but Slim and Jess watched her for their cues which delayed them, then were awkward at the activity clueless as to the procedure. Because of tight quarters and stiff soreness, they always seemed to be the last ones standing, or sitting back down, or kneeling. Each time the whole congregation moved however, it seemed like the entire little building shifted on its foundation especially with heavy boots on an old wooden floor. People would look around and up at the rafters wondering if the little old church would hold together with the wind howling outside, too. After the first kneel down's painful and undignified effort where he realized he couldn't make a full kneeling position Jess gave up and just leaned forward or back. Di covered for him realizing his legs weren't working well and the effort it took to stand and sit or kneel, so she leaned into his shoulder sitting down as though crying and needing him. Slim noticed the modified commotion and grinned at first thinking Jess was taking proper advantage of being needed by a female, but then he noticed Di draping her skirt over his legs and figured out who was really helping whom and then he, too, finally gave up and stayed seated. It was a very nice service lasting a full hour and for two deceased persons Jess thought that was fair, but an hour is an eternity when your body is screaming from abuse and a dropping barometric pressure. Slim figured the parson was making the most of a full church to try to reach the souls of the heathen who never showed up otherwise and he seemed slightly amused at the minister. He was further observing and amused at how Jess and Di seemed to be moving in a paired unison without discussing things, much like two horses that seem to fit together well under harness and had been paired for decades.

Like a Quarter Horse skidding to a stop, at straight up 3pm the parson finished his discourse. While the organist pedaled fast to keep warm and the organ's cold bellows wailed the same song over and over, they started the procession to the front of the church to say goodbyes to the two urns with tin-type photos. The table also contained a few mementoes of memory artfully stationed around the urns including Elroy's old beat up cowboy hat and his dress boots as a backdrop. Near Kensie's urn was her dress boots, a pair of spurs and a riding crop. Chuck had to lead it off, accompanied by Maggie, Jr and his family. Then as they finished the very elderly and bent over usher was standing by in the plan to direct Di and Jess in the second pew followed by everyone else. Chuck, however, was in no hurry and was obviously trying to be a tough cowboy and not cry. But he had been extremely close to his pardner for over 40 years and the daughter and "goodbye" seemed caught in his chest and unable to come out his mouth. Jess was seated and watching Chuck frozen in place with his hand on the table in front of the photo. He noticed Maggie lean up and whisper in Chuck's ear and Chuck lightly shook his head 'no' and about a half a minute later she nudged him in the ribs gently and he still didn't move. That tore Jess up and he rolled his eyes and had to look away and then down to the floor lightly bouncing his cane on the floor next to his boot. Slim noticed Jess' response and leaned back reaching around behind Di's shoulders and he squeezed Jess' left shoulder in support and Jess nodded without looking at Slim then his head went up and slightly back. Slim's effort was appreciated, but instead of encouraging Jess per usual, it seemed to motivate him. That or Jess had gotten anxious about the very elderly and bent over usher standing too close for too long towering over his head supporting his old bones on the tall side rail of the pew and just inches away from the broken shoulder blade. So not waiting for the very elderly and slightly bent over usher standing in the aisle next to him to cue him, Jess used pew parts to pull his self to his feet slowly and stiffly tucked his cane handle into his back pocket as though holstering it. At first the very elderly and bent over usher didn't move and there was a brief stare down between him and Jess, their noses about 18" apart but with Jess' back to him, Slim couldn't see what Jess did. Something non-threatening occurred changing the very elderly and bent over usher's mind and he nodded as though understanding a concept and he quietly backed off making room. Jess dipped his head ever so slightly in regard for the man then reached back for Di. She was lightly startled and curious, but grabbed his hat off the pew putting it on top her hand holding her purse, quickly obeyed and gathered in under his left elbow to follow. Jess drew his cane then nodded back at Slim, then Daisy and headed for Chuck, Maggie, Jr and family standing at the table. Slim easily saw what Jess was doing and gathered Daisy's arm and she grabbed Mike's hand and their pew full gathered up around Chuck at the table as the very elderly and bent over usher moved to stand at his next pew post. Slim, Daisy and Mike gathered behind Chuck, Jess with Di in tow went directly to Chuck's left side and stood mostly shoulder to shoulder with Chuck but at a slight angle. It caused the red rim-eyed Chuck to look from the table to Jess' face and something unspoken happened between their eye contact. Jess seemed able to captivate and maintain Chuck's eye contact same as a gunfight, only this was without the anger or challenge. Slim watched fascinated wondering what Jess was doing but there were no words, they just looked at each other for almost a minute in complete silence in a soft, but unwavering eye contact. Slim was mesmerized as for those few minutes Jess didn't seem to have trouble standing or stepping close to Chuck. Then ever so slightly, Jess' eyebrows raised by millimeters and he blinked slowly then tilted his head to the left away from the table. Chuck nodded ever so imperceptibly and then simultaneously, both men's left leg took a small sliding step away from the table. Maggie was reading both Jess and Chuck, Jr was watching from the right side of Maggie and they both smiled lightly in relief and in supporting closeness followed Chuck. Jess looked quickly at Di and leaned his head toward the table and she looked back into his eyes and shook her head 'no' very slightly and she turned to lead the entire group away from the table. Jess tightened his right shoulder contact with Chuck's left shoulder until Chuck had taken about 2 or 3 shuffling steps on his own with Jess watching his feet, then Jess slowly widened the gap and turned reaffirming his left elbow to escort Di away. From the rear within the chapel, it would have appeared as though nothing odd had occurred, just that the rest of the family had joined Chuck, said their goodbye and then the whole family turned to leave together. But the parson had been watching every flick and move from in front of them and he knew, so he eased in ahead of Jess and motioned for them to follow him out the door behind the platform into a waiting room behind the chapel. This cued the very elderly and bend over usher to begin to direct the rest of the congregation in their processional past the urn table. As Slim ushered Daisy and Mike in front of him through the door he felt an odd sucking release of air from the entire chapel as though everyone had been holding their breath and released it all at the same time as the connecting doorway had opened. From his height Slim was watching the entire scene in the church and brought up the rear of the family with Daisy and Mike. They all made it into the back room with the parson who closed the door behind them. He saw Jess quietly ask Di something and she pointed to a side door leading outside and Jess nodded to Jr and looked back at Slim without any worded communications. As they left the back room to retrieve the two buggies and horse to the side door Slim saw Jess shake the parson's left hand. It was not 2 minutes later and the two buggies and horse escort were back on the road to the ranch. No one said a word. It was completely done in a quiet reverence and Chuck seemed to wake up in the cold air and once behind the reins of his buggy. Slim was shaking his head the whole time in silence reviewing what he'd just witnessed as it was almost like seeing Jess steer the boat from the back seat by what he'd done.

This time on the trip back Daisy rode with the Wentworths to help Bess with the toddler, Mike was in the front seat with Slim and Jess and Di were cuddled in the back seat. With the buggy flaps down on the sides and rear and being the caboose part of the procession, Jess had pulled Di into a tight cuddle and put their buggy blanket over both their heads completely covering both of them as a tent. He was trying to stave off re-chilling from the cold of both the wind from the buggy and from the weather's breeze turning into a pre-storm wind shift and he barely maneuvered getting his self into the buggy.. At first when Slim looked to check on them finding them under the blanket, he grinned thinking Jess was making good use of a bad moment. Jess plus pretty lady plus back end of a buggy had opportunity written all over it. But then he kept hearing Jess' deep groans and muffled "dadgums" and "doggones" followed by Diana's purrs seemed to happen after the buggy jerks from ruts in the road. One time after a particularly deep pain gasp escaped a deep bass voice Slim heard Diana pull Jess back into the seat and re-covered him as he groaned grasping his shoulder and coiled himself into a tight circle near completely in her lap with the blanket being re-pulled over them. That became added to a muffled coo, "he's doing the best he can, Jess, itsa a bad road. We're almost home… maybe two minutes or so." There were other softer feminine purrs and coos he couldn't make out and what sounded like a pretty serious, protracted kiss maybe nuzzling, but Slim…. or several kisses…. began to pay more attention to the road ruts after that and keeping Mike's attention forward. He was pretty sure there were more kisses in the next two minutes because there was a hard weight shift in the back end of the buggy and the cooing tones changed. Then he heard Jess' deep voice in a muffled something as though he'd bumped an inappropriate spot followed by a softer feminine … 'you're fine.' Next, Jess groaned like he was tasting fine wine or something scrumptiously delicious and the buggy springs felt tugged toward the rear of the buggy lifting Mike and Slim higher in front. When they unloaded at the front door Slim noticed Jess' hat was askew, he wouldn't look at Slim, his eye rims were red and wet and his face was frozen hard like he'd been shot in a gunfight and it appeared he was wearing tinges of Di-colored lipstick on his face. The rouge was a little hard to tell because it was darkening with the building cloudiness. Di made a point of getting off the buggy unassisted because her hand was supporting Jess' disappearing back and she was rushing to keep up. Slim noticed her neck scarf ready to fall off and caught it as it fell and before it could land on the ground. Di was helping Jess get down when a cowhand came up diverting his attention and took the buggy reins from Slim. Whatever Di was able to do, including protracted smooching or whatever they were doing in the back seat under the blanket to help divert Jess and get through the buggy ride home in the freezing cold wind with the barometer falling, all the pain Jess had to be experiencing from his new injuries, the sheer fatigue of the energy output to survive the funeral, and keep Jess from tearing their chauffer/pard apart who was driving Jess' new toy, was scoring extra points with Slim. Jess could be quite the handful and sometimes in an overload only the female of the species had any affect.

As soon as they got to the ranch huge snowball sized snowflakes began to fall… well more like began bombing the earth in earnest. Jr excused his family explaining he wanted to get his toddler in for the night, was going to take the buggies in, put the horses to bed, feed the stock as the hands were quickly showing up behind them and then tuck himself in to his house with his family for the night before the snow could commence in force and they would eat then. Chuck, Maggie, Di and the Laramie four hurried into the warmth of the log house and began peeling their outer wear off to get exposed to a warm room. After stoking all the fireplaces back up to solid, picture perfect roaring fires, Chuck disappeared down the wing of the house holding his den and bedroom. Everyone else took trips through the water closets and Maggie began directing traffic assigning "the men" to the fireplace in the living room and handed them a dish of appetizers offering them to help themselves to Chuck's stash at the bar to help them thaw. It tickled Mike being included as "one of the men." She volunteered all the ladies to help her put the finish on the meal and get it to the table, Bessy helped pack food to take home and Maggie handed the last portions to several hands who'd showed up to help Ada take food out for the hands in the bunk house since everyone was starving and cold.

Since the fire was at full force, Jess was first to fall into the chair he always seemed to land in, slouched in it as though it was a recliner and uncharacteristically declined Slim's offer to fill a drink and any appetizers. That called out all kinds of concern from Slim, quickly frowning and now confirmed despite having rescued the funeral, something was really bothering him. Jess quickly packed the sides of his chair with side pillows to push and hold his legs together to make a lap and as expected, the pillows were barely set when Sasha materialized in his lap as before, landing as lightly as an angel. After Jess finished absconding from her a long hug with his face buried in the fur of her ruff while she inspected the top of his hair, she quickly and softly curled up in his lap commencing heat transfer and he covered her entire body with one of his hands. There was a knitted afghan on the side arm of the sofa next to him and Jess grabbed it and flopped it on top himself and Sasha. She was reported to weigh only 8 pounds at best maybe after eating, but the bones of the Papillon breed are so feather light, it was the heat from her body that told of her contact. Mike wanted a drink and Slim watered down a couple tablespoons of brandy to mostly water making maybe a mouthful of liquid and handed it to him in a shot glass while grinning. Mike took a sip, made a face and handed it back waving his hand in front of his nose and wolfed down a couple of appetizers to cleanse his pallet. Slim inhaled several appetizers as he….as in about half the plateful…. fixed a small shot of bourbon and plopped in his chair propping his calf next to the fire, leaned back and closed his eyes.

"I don't know what you said to Chuck, but it sure seemed to help him."

Jess was staring into the fire and stroking Sasha gently and seemed a million miles away.

"Jess?"

"Huph?" it was a low, deep almost grump more than a word and Slim became further concerned Jess was still upset about the bumpy buggy ride. So trying to keep away from that topic, he diverted.

"What you did for Chuck."

Jess was quiet and dark, brooding in some deep chasm of sadness. Slim was almost ready to speak again when Jess mumbled.

"You ever die, Slim… I'll kill you!" Jess retorted in his low gunfight voice deeper than Slim had ever heard it before. It was a sincere threat.

Slim's forehead went up but he smiled. "I'll have to remember that." At least now he had a bead on where Jess' emotions were smoldering. "What did you say to Chuck?"

"Nothing."

"Maybe not words, but something was going on between you two."

Jess was quiet for a few moments, then spoke slow and meditatively. "There's times when being alone is good. Other times, not. After 40 years as close as they were, was "a not." Place was so stuff full with sad ….. made the hole in his heart bigger. Needed a reason to keep ahold and not give up."

"You're his reason to live?" Mike asked not quite sure he was understanding but he thought Sasha had a great idea and he crawled into Slim's chair beside him and reached for another appetizer off the plate Slim had balanced on his chest as he leaned back. Slim scooched over to make room so Mike could thaw out tucked between him and the fireplace.

"Jess is part of the next generation, Mike. To Mr. Wentworth, he represents the future." Slim tried to explain putting his arm around Mike and Mike curled into Slim's chest under his arm and took another appetizer.

"What did you feel, Tiger, when you woke up just after your folks had died?" Jess asked softly but his eyes were closed leaning his head on his left hand, elbow resting on the side arm of the chair.

"Alone and empty. I didn't know what to do next. My folks told me all my life what to do."

"Exactly. Mr. Wentworth was alone and empty without his best friend of 40 years. That's you living 4 times your age right now, Tiger. Itsa dadgum eternity. After that much time together as close friends as they were, a person has no clue how to hardly breathe on your own. He just needed a different focus than what he was staring at so's he could hold on and keep going."

"When I woke up I could remember seeing my folks laying there on the ground. So what you did was like you and Slim being right in front of me on the bed?"

"Right." This time Jess slowly leaned his head on the back of the seat groaning as the right shoulder had not yet defrosted and closed his eyes. Sasha snuggled deeper into his lap under the blanket and his hand on her back and the heat generated from her small body without much weight felt good to Jess' thighs.

"I get it. Don't know what I'd do without you and Slim."

"Dinner's ready." Di called sweetly from the opening to the room and leaving to return to the kitchen called over her shoulder. "Mother's gone to get Dad."

"Go wash your hands, Mike." Slim coached and Mike unraveled himself from Slim's warm lap and ran down the hall. Slim got up stiffly putting the near empty plate of appetizers on the fireplace mantle to polish off after supper, limped over and picked up Jess' cane. Having found her perfect warm spot Sasha growled slightly under her breath, but it opened Jess' eyes and he saw Slim standing over him offering a left hand assist.

"Seen your share of alone and empty, huh?" Slim's voice was gentle, low and silky as hot caramel and his eyes were soft and he softly lifted the afghan and tossed it onto the sofa.

Slim had read Jess' pedigree again and Jess instantly reclosed his eyes and turned his head away but it was too late. Slim started to reach down to take Jess' lapels to gently pull him forward in the chair in prep to stand and thought he saw a tear fall off the corner of Jess' face. Preparing to get up Jess had begun removing pillows to grab on and moving that side of his face away cut off Slim's view and suspended Slim's pull and Sasha jumped down. Then Slim grabbed Jess' lapels in one hand and his belt buckle in assist to lift Jess onto stiff swollen straight legs trapped in the cast of his tight jeans. It was done slowly and soft enough there was no threat and Jess seemed to appreciate the lift and offered no resistance.

"C'mon, Slingshot. Let's focus on some food. We're both empty." His voice was still soft.

Slim got him on his feet and wrapped an arm around his waist until Jess got his balance and the cane situated. As they both wobbled side by side to the dining room Jess brushed the side of his face off on his far shoulder and Slim heard a soft sniff. Slim's forehead went up while forcing his own mind away from the idea of having to live without Jess in his life. At one time in his life the thought wouldn't have even crossed his mind like when they had first met out by the lake. But today taking stock of where they were in life now, Slim couldn't handle that thought, so he tried to suppress it. If Jess died before him, he would kill Jess, too. Somehow, in less than 5 years' time two men's hearts had merged beyond simple business partnership, boss and employee, even past brothers and Slim marveled how and why Jess had initially irritated him. How easy it would have been for this drifter to have gone on downstream, who now, had made such a positive change in his life. On the way to the dining room Slim put his hand on Jess' left shoulder and trying to get away from sad thoughts offered,

"That buggy you found sure rode nice going and drove even better coming back. Even had room for my legs and THAT's worth at least two of that old wagon, one heck of a deal. Glad you found it. Thanks for letting me drive it. What's it like with the loaded trailer?"

Jess' voice cracked on the first few words then straightened out, "Nice, better'n you'd think. Weight on the back end steadies the rig and all the bouncin'. Can't figure how he got it balanced though, doesn't fishtail and no problem with one horse even."

"Think it's the short shank on the hitch?" Slim was very relieved getting Jess' mind re-directed using mechanical talk. He didn't like seeing Jess retreat into dark moods…it wasn't healthy…for anybody.

"Ya, could be. Rigid…..runs high and tight. Reckon the guy knew what he was doin'."

The dining room was as decked out as the first evening Jess and Slim had eaten there complete with the fancy candelabras as an honorary dinner to the departed. This time it was Mike's eyes that were big and wide. Chuck was at his usual head of the table but this time Maggie rearranged everything and assigned herself next to Chuck with Slim as the next oldest male at the other head of table. She put Mike next to Slim, then Daisy next to herself and put Jess and Di on the other long side facing them, and of course Sasha took her place under Jess' chair. They had fixed another smoked main course, this time beef brisket that had been pulled into fine shreds and extra smoke sauce complete with all the fixings and had a blueberry cobbler waiting for dessert. The brisket fell apart not even needing to be pulled. Both of Slim's hands and Jess' left hand were still wrapped in gauze from the burn blisters and more, Jess' right arm was still tied to his chest isolating the shoulder movement. Suffice it to say, both men's hunger was being deetained by their handicapped dexterity, so Daisy and Di assisted in holding the serving plates so each man could serve themselves. Jess ate left handed and Slim struggled with his right hand but that was a good thing because it slowed him down shoveling food into his mouth after a near 2 day fast. Never the less, it was amusing to watch them maneuver the food into their mouths and having to sometimes pick the food back up off the plate having fallen off a fork or spoon.

"You do set a lovely table, Maggie." Daisy offered cheerfully trying to lighten the somber mood. "Slim and Jess came home from their first trip here all full of wonder at your hospitality."

"Thank you, Daisy. I love to entertain but today I wanted to do something special in honor of Elroy and Kensie. I really love your recipe here for baked beans, especially the brown sugar and molasses. Brisket 'n beans was Elroy's favorite food, he would have loved this."

Jess and Slim looked at their beans then at each other and Slim mouthed the words "Brown sugar?"

"Mother says it's her way of sharing God's blessings." Di added.

"So what was that all about, Slim, the way the hands from Elroy's ranch swarmed you at the church? I couldn't make out what they were saying." Maggie was curious.

"Beats me." Slim was in between bites and chasing the beans on his plate with his spoon and trying hard to keep his gauzed hand from getting soiled as a stopper. Manners be damned, he was starving hungry and finally just picked up the fork and shoveled his food on to either the fork or the spoon using one in each hand.

"Jr told me when he was over there yesterday finding out what they needed in helping start the clean up on the barn that all the hands were asking about the tall blond guy from Laramie." Chuck offered.

"Is that right?" Daisy chimed in looking coyly over at Slim, her blue eyes twinkling in pride.

"Seems they were all very impressed how the "blond mountain man" stepped right in and started organizing the firefighting effort, directing who to do what, getting the water line lined out better from where it had started. They credit the loss of just the barn to his calmness stepping in organizing the panic that kept the whole ranch from burning down and they were thrilled when they saw Slim leading Bolero out of the building. Thought that was extremely brave, stud blind folded and all. They especially liked how he suggested moving the horses from the outdoor pens and turned into their indoor arena into a makeshift barn for the geldings so they could leave the mares and yearling foals in the warmer mare-barn for the winter months until the new barn is built."

Jess sniffed and swallowed his bite while digging together another forkful of beef one handedly.

"Really? They have anything to say about the dark haired fella from Laramie?" He stuffed a mouthful of food into his mouth put the fork down to reach for the homemade bread buns. After all, he was the one who got Bolero out of the stall and the halter on him. Slim just walked him out of the barn.

Everyone stopped eating and looked at Jess. He couldn't butter his bun one handed and was dabbing it into the pile of butter he'd slathered onto his plate. He noticed the sudden silence and looked up from his bread with the innocent look of an embarrassed boy. Then he put down his bread and grabbed the cloth napkin from his lap and started for his face.

"What? Have sauce on my face? Sure is great smoke food….like I'm in Tex…. So what's everyone starin' at?" He whined and looked up and down the table in innocent bewilderment.

After a long pause and everyone trying to keep a straight face Chuck piled back in.

"Nope.. nobody asking about him." He was shaking his head and grinning while stuffing another bite into his mouth. It was Chuck's first grin since the fire and Maggie heaved a sigh in relief.

"Well…I wasn't just standing around pickin' my nose, you know." Jess tried to justify his query and back peddled in embarrassment.

Di reached over and buttered Jess' partially eaten bread bun and one extra one laying on the plate with his butter stash and commented as she worked them,

"I think it's sometimes difficult, Jess, for cowboys to express things they feel deep down inside their hearts. You know, such as seeing someone they don't know carrying out the daughter and co-owner of their ranch when she's on fire and then watch her dying in his arms." Di quietly came to his rescue and everyone smiled softly in agreement. "I'm sure several of them saw you start Bolero's exit from his stall and the hard time he was giving you and the beating you were taking. It's just hard to say those deep feelings. Even for non-cowboy people, like wives and mothers."

Jess smiled at her and finished with the butter assist she lightly patted the side of his thigh under the table. Sasha was camped out under Jess' chair and thought another morsel from the table was being delivered. Her cold wet nose just missed Di's hand but Jess caught the movement and handed Sasha a piece of gravy-touched bread. She sniffed it and then eagerly lifted it ever so softly from Jess' fingers…..she always sniffed every morsel coming off the table before she ate.

"Well said, Di." Maggie softly added. "They just need time to process everything. Remember, their whole world just, pardon me, but went up in smoke. Their jobs and futures plus quite a few of his wranglers are married so the security of their families are in question right now with the ranch in limbo. Plus it's winter, so there's no cattle drives to hire out to either."

"Not to change the subject, but while we're dealing with the topic of a new order to the world, if nobody minds I have an announcement I'd like to make." Di sat back as everyone continued to eat.

"Go ahead, daughter, the floor is yours." Chuck offered taking another bite.

"Some of you know, some don't, that my given name is not Di or Diana. It's Sarabeth Lynn Wentworth and I was named after Mother, Margaret Elisabeth and from her best friend Sarah Harper. As you know Sarah Harper is Jess' mother. When Kensie and I were little girls we thought my original name was too long and Kensie wanted something more princess-like and a little snobbish so she picked Diana as a nickname. It was a joke really for play but it stuck and well, I really didn't care for being snobbish but to keep Kenzie happy, I went along with it. As I grew up more and more I didn't like it, but Kenzie wouldn't change back and sometimes we would fight about it. With her now um ….gone….if no one objects, I'd like to make it official and go back to Sarabeth, or Lynn either one." She nodded the top of her head slightly to the side half raising that shoulder.

Maggie and Chuck had taken hands on the table and smiled at each other.

"Here, here!" Chuck tapped his wine glass with his spoon. "It's about time."

She tentatively looked over at Jess who was back to chowing down and watching her face mostly listening while everyone else had stopped eating to pay attention to what felt like a significant announcement. Jess noticed beyond Di that her parents had stopped eating to listen forks down and so he looked slowly around the table and found everyone else's silverware parked and listening. He lightly rolled his eyes, slowed his chewing and put his fork down and while swallowing hard wiped his mouth with the napkin again looking very confused about when to eat and when to stop and talk. Apparently one embarrassment wasn't enough and HE had to make two! So hard to know at this fancy a dinner table he just hadn't been trained for.

"I know Sarah was your mother's name and I don't presume to impose, that's why I thought maybe Lynn would work, too." Sarah added seeming unaware of the cause for Jess' confusion.

"You didn't look like a Diana to me and was a little bit high falitin sounding. Made me feel like I should bow every time I saw ya." He smiled at her and she giggled quietly.

"High falitin?" Maggie asked.

"Ya, all upper crust, you know society like." Jess briefly raised his pinky finger on his left hand but it wavered mid-air in his confused embarrassment, he looked quizzically at it and then dropped his hand.

"Jess means "high falutin"." Slim advised and heads nodded around the table in comprehension.

Jess pointed his thumb at Slim briefly, "Ya, what I said."

Diana asked coyly sampling her next bird-sized bite of food, "Which name do you like, Jess?"

Jess pondered for a few moments while playing with the fork handle wishing they could go back to eating…..eating was a priority and hot food needed to be eaten when it was hot.

"Well, I dunno. Le'see. You said Kensie picked the name Diana and you went with that name to please Kensie, but then began not to like it, right?"

"Yes." Di responded.

Chuck's eyes twinkled and he winked at Maggie, anticipating where Jess was headed and liked Jess' picking out details.

"I know my feet wouldn't fit in Kenzie's shoes so I won't try pickin' a name for you. A handle's a handle an' all and people's gunna be calling that name the rest of your life wanting you. Which name do you feel like matches who you are inside where none of us can see?"

"I never thought of it that way, Jess." She pondered out loud. "Hmmm. Sara….Beth….Lynn. Sarabeth. This is hard!"

"I like Sarah." Mike announced, his lips covered in smoke gravy juice.

"You do?" Sarabeth answered leaning towards and smiling at him.

"Ya, it's a Bible name."

"So is Elizabeth." Daisy coached quietly reaching for Mike's napkin in his lap and handing it to him to work on his face.

"Oh, ya. Right." Mike deflated quickly and wiped his nose.

"Jess' mother was a tremendous person." Maggie softy mentioned trying to stay neutral. She saw everyone had stopped eating but Diana had begun again and Jess was fidgeting. So she picked up her fork and gathered a new bite.

"So is your mother." Chuck added squeezing Maggie's hand and winked at her.

"You know, I can see parts of both women in this person sitting next to me. Even maybe the best parts of each one." Relieved to see Maggie begin eating Jess picked up his fork and was trying to pile his last bite of beef back onto the fork but it kept scooching around the plate.

"It's been my experience, Di…um… well. When a woman is pregnant, there are things she senses going on with the child she is carrying that is often very hard to describe with words. Father's pick names for their children, but it is often the mother who prevails with the final choice. I've not known Maggie that long and I never had the privilege of knowing Jess' mother, but I've seen who she raised and I've met his twin long enough to know she was a fine woman with a heart of gold." Daisy offered in a grandmotherly tone and she resumed eating.

"You're right, Miss Daisy. Mother's been my mom and best friend all my life and I know her pretty well. She's told me many wonderful things about Mrs. Harper and their times together and I've have given anything to have known her. Jess told me the other day he adored her and that she was both his mother and best friend, too. Maybe, with everyone's help, I can live up to the respect I have for both women and honor both of them with my name."

"And with who you are inside." Jess added softly, pleased his last bite was successful and putting his tool down then grabbing his napkin and wiping his mouth for good, then handing another saved morsel to Sasha's waiting mouth under his chair.

"Sarabeth it is, then." She sighed and wiped her hand across her forehead. "That feels so right!"

"Have we settled the matters of the universe now?" Slim asked flopping his fork up and down midair by its butt end between his thumb and forefinger.

"Slim!" Daisy admonished.

"What? I'm ready for some cobbler. Can't help it. HE…" Slim pointed his fork at Jess, "Got me hooked on sweets and I haven't eaten much in two days. Something's gotta keep this blond mountain moving." Then a smile broke across his face.

Everyone chuckled in the comic relief off a long, hard day and intense decisions.

"Just one more thing, first." Chuck finished his plateful of food but used his empty fork like a baton and jumped in. Everyone turned to look at him.

"I'll never forget what you did for me today at the church, Jess. I just couldn't seem to get my legs to move. Much like Kensie and Sarabeth, Elroy and me grew up together and I knew him even before Momma and I met back east and married. From the get go as grasshoppers we could read each other and had each other's back no matter rain or shine and our growing up years were raw in a frontier where more folks died than lived. He married a Texas girl shortly after I got Momma home and we both moved up here together to start these ranches carving out yet another section of the raw wide open. I was there when both his kids were born and when his baby boy then his wife died in childbirth and watched how that nearly killed him. A parent should never have to bury his child. But we pulled together and Kensie became his life and future, providing for her a solid place and future making sure he had made it debt free for her. It's a good thing he didn't witness Kensie's passing in the way she went. I can't imagine what that would have done to his father's heart and I am forever grateful for what you risked trying to save her. In my opinion, aside from my own father…. there was no better man…. on this earth than Elroy. I couldn't move at the church and had no idea how I could my legs to function again and you coming alongside gave me the strength. It provided me the dignity to retain the respect of those I still have to face in this community. So, that's two now that I owe you."

"Here, me too." Maggie chimed in.

"Me, three." Sarabeth added choking on her emotions seeing her dad so moved in emotions and it came out more in a whisper.

"I can't hardly imagine knowing someone as long as you did, or being that close at the same time. There is no dollar value can be placed on family and Elroy must have been like a brother to you." Jess offered in consolation.

"Yes. Yes, he was, even closer than a brother. Blood is supposed to tie people together because of the DNA, like 'em or not you're stuck with them. But when you have a bond with someone who is not blood related, it's voluntary so that relationship is even more valuable, as I'm sure you're discovering with Slim, there." Chuck seemed to gain some strength the more he could talk it out.

"Yes, Sir. For certain. I reckon I'll never comprehend 40 or 50 years with one person to understand what you are going through with that ripped from your soul now. He was a lucky man to have you as his pardner…. and brother."

"That's upright for you to see that and to say it even, Jess. You continue to astound me by your perceptivity and ability to view more than what's obvious in front of you. Ok, Momma, where's the sweets?" He leaned back and patted his stomach.

CHAPTER 6: Snow storms, Fireplace, Hair and Knitting Travesties

By mid-meal the storm outside broke loose in full force and it began snowing hard but the snow changed from bomb sized balls to small and medium size flakes. Luckily the wind died down some through the night causing more snow fall but fewer extreme drifts but it snowed all night long. Chuck excused himself after dessert was finished as he decided to turn in early, all the ladies in the house had the dinner cleaned up quickly and everyone else settled in the living room around the big fireplace. One whole side of the living room was the two story floor to ceiling window and with it being on the southerly side of the house, it was out of the main blow of the wind. It was lit just enough from lamp reflections coming from other parts of the stretched out lodge those seated in the living room snuggled up to the fireplace could watch the snow falling and made for a cozy retreat while listening to the crackle of the picture worthy fire in the fireplace. Jess and Slim were sipping the bourbon Chuck had insisted on sharing.

Having made like a piglet for supper Mike had landed in the chair Jess normally sat in but he was fading very fast with a full stomach. Like an expert Slim adjusted the fireplace for a long burn then found a reading book on the mantle and sat down in his usual chair propping his injured leg on the hearth next to the fire. Jess moved to a corner of one of the fluffed sofas where he could watch both the snow falling and the fireplace as well as rest the aching shoulder on the side rail of the sofa. He raised his hoof-razed right leg up on the glass covered wagon wheel coffee table and straightened it releasing pressure from the swelling that pressed against the tight jeans and then stretched the other knee injury straight under the table. With the ever present Papillon lap warmer, Jess had his head back and eyes closed all stretched out like a face up bear rug on the somewhat high backed sofa. As the ladies joined the men in the living room Maggie brought several towels and an old Indian double thick skin bag filled with stove-heated water just below boiling. Without really asking permission Maggie gently reached to wiggle Jess' boot off the foot that was propped up on her coffee table which startled Jess from his reverie. Embarrassed with being caught with his feet on the furniture he tried to move fast to lower it then to help her but she pushed him back into the sofa without a word and taking no argument pulled his boot off like an old pro in just seconds barely moving his leg. It amazed Jess how easily and quickly she got his boot off with just a flick of her wrist. So he surrendered and watched as she went to work building his treatment. She padded his foot and the back of his knee with a small pillow each, laid one towel across his raised thigh and eased the hot bag slowly onto it. And it was so hot she HAD to ease it. Instantly his chin went up and his eyelids fluttered in relief as the heat seeped immediately through the jean into the screaming muscle. Then she securely and expertly tucked one end of a thick quilted coverlet under his hip, which he had to angle up for her, then wrapped the entire thigh and leg including the socked foot with the other end leaving the leg resting on the coffee table and was all done where he had barely moved. In just moments she had it built the way she wanted, Jess groaned deep in his throat and his head sank back down onto the back rest of the large sofa as the heat penetrated a very sore, stiff and cranky leg that had been screaming all day in the cold weather and falling barometer. Even the rattled skin gouge finally shut up and Jess' eyes began to water in the sheer relief and he groaned another low "daggum." Maggie then wrapped another quilt coverlet around his left knee. Sasha saw her moment and skootched forward in his lap and cuddled next to the warm container and he covered her with his hand without looking up. Next Maggie lifted his head and wrapped a knitted afghan across his shoulders overlapping onto his chest and brought his head back down. Looking her in the eyes Jess moaned a solid "thank you" and she blew him a kiss. She offered to do Slim's calf but he declined stating the fireplace was plenty warm and most of his calf's screaming had been taken care of with her poultice the day before and the "salt thing treatment" was added covertly with a wink.

Sarabeth had her arms full of two baskets and watched Maggie put Jess' legs in its hot compress wraps and then handed one of the baskets to Maggie who sat down on the other sofa facing the one Jess was on. Daisy sat down next to Maggie who began to unload the basket on the other side of her leaving no space on that sofa. Maggie's basket contained her supplies for tatting and she was more than delighted and eager to share her skill and teach Daisy how to tat. Sarabeth had a second basket she'd carried in and the only seat left was next to Jess on his sofa, so she helped herself. His head was still laying back and his eyes closed soaking in the heat and softly groaning under his breath from the hot therapy on his legs and warmth on his shoulder looking like all he needed was a blanket and he'd have been happy to drop off to sleep. Her basket contained a heavier yarn and knitting and she was working on the first third of a winter muffler scarf. As she sat down, the motion brought Jess back to life and he smiled and shifted slightly in the sofa so she could lean back nestled against him and he could watch her create something out of string. She was interested in not being alone because of Kensie's new absence and Jess was more than happy to renew tight quarters with his new heat source. More so, he was happy his new heater was so wonderfully shaped, smelled heavenly and didn't lean weight- was lightweight like Sasha.

"Ok, Sarabeth," Jess smiled as he lingered through speaking her "new" name patting the sofa next to his hip, "I've got to see how you ladies take nothing but string and make these beautiful things."

"I'm eager to learn this tatting, too, Jess. It's so delicate!" Daisy exclaimed leaning over Maggie's forearm watching her thread the shuttle. "I can knit a little and have done embroidery, but I've never actually seen tatting done….just go ahead, Maggie. I can watch."

"Did you find a good reading book, Slim?" Maggie was not satisfied until everyone was included. She was in her world of happiness with people she loved around her whom she could share her home. Her nature was to nest well and then share away everything she could in order to make others a part of her life.

"Ya. I've heard of this author but never read any of his books."

"Do you enjoy reading?" Maggie was delighted to find a male who reads books.

"I do, actually, when I find time to sit down and have new ones to read. It's relaxing."

" 'at's where Slim learns all them big, fancy words." Jess piped.

As Sarabeth was straightening her project on her lap Jess had set her knitting basket on his lap balanced on Sasha's curled body. He was nosily picking through it like a curious squirrel who'd lost an acorn deep into the basket and then pull odd articles out to look more closely, frown and drop them back into the basket basically making a mess. Sarabeth got her project ready and noticed what he was doing a shot a look at him with her dimples puckered as if he was a pesky little brother, reached over and snatched the basket from him. That brought out the furrowed eyebrows of innocence so he went back to stroking Sasha's soft back and she tucked her feet in tighter between his legs in the crevice where it was nice and toasty.

"What kind of books do you like?" Maggie asked Slim.

"History, mostly. Enjoy a good novel but those are harder to find."

"I like those, too. Have several shelves full of books there in both your rooms, Slim. There should be 3 or 4 of that author on the shelf near the head of the bed. Help yourself, take some home with you."

"Oh, I don't have much time to read, and it's only going to get busier, Ma'am. I'd just lose them."

"No, go ahead, Slim. I've read them all several times and my sister back in Boston sends me more every 3 months when she's finished reading them. She sends me all kinds of things. I'm nearly out of space for storing them and they're fixing to be donated to the school. Be a big help to me." Maggie was delighted to share. "Daisy, there's some school books in your room if you want them for Mike. They'd be for grades just ahead of his age range. Please, folks, help yourself!" Daisy had been set up in Jerry's old bedroom closest to the living room.

"Thank you, Maggie. Never hurts to have fresh material around to keep a young- un interested in learning, right Mike?" Daisy looked at Mike but he was passed out curled up in the chair. Slim, Maggie and Daisy looked and chuckled.

Jess was fascinated watching Sarabeth's fingers flying with the knitting needles and yardage appearing underneath her fingers.

"How'd you learn to do that?"

"Mother taught me when I was very young. Kensie never much cared for it, couldn't sit down long enough, I guess, and I got away from it. But, like Slim's reading, I find it relaxing. Here…" She offered the needles to Jess. "You do a few. It's not hard. I'll help you."

Jess pushed it away a few inches just slightly with his left hand without losing the afghan on his shoulder.

" 'at's ok. It's a woman thing."

"Not necessarily, Jess." Daisy offered. "I saw a few men back east knitting."

"You do a great job fixing the harnesses, Jess. Give it a try." Slim encouraged. "Jess has a knack for re-stitching some of the stagecoach harnesses. He gets them together real tight. Can always tell when he's stitched or when someone else does. His are always even and they stay together."

"She's doing fine. I'll just watch from here. 'sides, I'm down to one wing. How do you know what stitch and color to use next?"

"Well, Mother has written patterns she uses, but I like just making it up as I go. She taught me how to do various kinds of stitches and I mix them up. More creative that way. It's basically a variation of two stitches, one with the yarn coming from the back, the other the yarn comes from the front." Sarabeth pulled the project back and kept stitching.

"You just…make it up, huh?" Jess was impressed. "Just outta your head."

"Ya. It's more fun. See, watch. I want to change colors here, so…." She rifled through her basket looking over several balls of yarn. "I think this one." She reached for a dark brown colored ball.

"Who you making it for?" Jess asked.

"Well, I thought for myself. The one I'm using is getting pretty ratty and my coat is brown."

Jess pointed to another color in her basket.

"That one."

"Which?" she didn't look fast enough and looked in the basket again.

"That one. Next to the top edge of the basket."

"Peach? Are you sure?" She pulled it out and put it next to the piece she was knitting which was a warm cream. "But the dark brown will contrast nicely against the cream, more winterish." She explained.

"Probably, but the peach goes better with your hair and face and it'll remind you of spring flowers."

As it had been the entire visit, her hair was all piled on top her head in a fancy up do held by pins and combs with cascading curls. With his left hand Jess had captured and was tousling a blonde curl from her hairdo that had been swiping him in the face as she was busy looking back and forth at the work and then at his face. She stared at the peach next to the cream thinking on it for a moment and Jess sniffed her curl closing his eyes lost in the fragrance. Maggie looked up briefly at the two and smiled coyly.

"Jess is right, dear. The peach will bring out the glow of your complexion and compliments your blue eyes."

Sarabeth held the three colors up close to her face.

"You're blonde, Slim. What do you think?"

Slim was engrossed reading the book and wasn't paying attention to the conversation.

"Slim?" Sarabeth called louder.

"Hmmm….what?" He finally looked up and saw Sarabeth nestled up against Jess' hip and under his arm Jess was still sniffing her blond lock and she was holding the three colors.

"A scarf I'm making for myself."

Without letting go of the curl, but dropping it from his nose, Jess gave Slim a look to watch his step and Slim easily read it.

"Whatever he said." And Slim gestured toward Jess with the book and looked back into the book added, "Experience talking…." And looked up from under his eyebrows and winked at her with a smile. Sara grinned back at him.

Maggie offered her started tatted piece to Daisy, "You ready to try?"

Daisy easily accepted, "Sure." She started slowly, but began to pick up speed.

"You're a natural, Daisy."

"You know, Jess. I think you're right. The peach is a happier color." Sarabeth was coming around.

"Right. A better match." Jess commented.

She felt the tug on the curl and swatted at it like it had gotten caught in her collar and Jess dropped the curl and blew gently on her neck teasingly. It was just strong enough to bring out the goosebumps and she squirmed and turned around looking suspiciously at Jess' face and glared at him. He, of course, played innocent with a dumb look on his face and pointed at her scarf.

"So how do you change colors?" After a second delay trying to read his face she turned back around to the scarf. Then he threaded several fingers into different curls and they "accidentally" got caught in the pile hanging off her head.

She started to jerk her hair loose "Jess!"

"WHAT! It's nabbed me like a beaver trap!" Playing like his fingers were caught in a trap, but then she started to pull away and he had to lightly grab onto the stack of hair because if she pulled, the whole thing really would come down. He was sitting cockeyed in the sofa and only using the left hand which was still wrapped in gauze bandaging which naturally caught on the hair. He hadn't considered that fact.

"Hang on sec…..or the whole thing'll come down…" Jess was now seriously trying one handed to truly untangle his finger and mumbled, "….not that'd be a bad thing."

"Need some help over there, Jess?" Maggie offered trying to keep a straight face. Slim smirked, now losing concentration in the book over what was developing on the sofa thinking to himself, 'sure, like Jess needed help with women.'

"How much is up in here anyway?" He seriously asked and kept wiggling his finger now fully caught tightly hung up by the gauze wrapping his hand. But he was very curious with the size of the stack of hair on top her head as to how long her blonde hair really was. All he'd ever seen was all of it piled up on top her head and mostly very neat and tidy, somehow captured in some way and piled on top her head.

"Tons, Jess…..just tons! Takes hours to fix it." She began fidgeting and pulled away just as Jess found a piece of hard something (the crucial comb) and held it still.

"Hey! Here it is. I found the bear trap!"

He softly exclaimed in jest with a small chuckle and smiling big proud of his discovery as though he'd found a gold mine. Her movement away tugged the comb from the hair and the whole hairdo fell in a mass of curls on her shoulders and started to fall down into his lap.

"Now look what you've done!" she exclaimed horrified as though he'd pulled her clothes off.

She turned fully toward him completely aghast and reached up for her hair completely embarrassed.

"And in front of guests!"

He smiled, charm and charisma oozing from his pores and cooed with a crooked grin that was half boyish tease pleased with his self.

"Better." He held the crucial comb dangling between two fingers and with the still innocent face and lifted eyebrows gingerly offered it to her like a worm ready for a fish hook.

"OOOHHH!" her voice wavered in trepidation and she quickly shot him a look of disgust and snapped it from his fingers where upon he jerked his hand back near his head in safety still grinning.

She smartly plopped the entire knitting into the basket placing it beside her on the couch. Then she started squirming and began to pull down pins and more combs from the falling mess letting the whole head full of blonde curls tumble down off her shoulder. Jess was transfixed as he watched as they filled her lap then his lap and covered Sasha's sleeping body. Her hair when loose was thick and quite wavy and in its waves still came down well past her bum. Even Slim's eyebrows went up. Jess looked down into his wave filled lap and began lifting sections and letting them fall loosely back into his lap which only fluffed them out fuller. His eyes were even wider in awe. He lifted another section to his nose to sniff the fragrance.

"What do you put on your hair that smells so good?"

"Oh that's a crème rinse Mother makes helps keep the tangles controlled, otherwise my hair would be out to here." She had a slight pout in her voice as she held her hands apart past the span of her shoulders still sorting out pins and combs into her lap. The winter dress she'd been wearing all day was made from a heavy cashmere fiber which was silky and had a nap like the feel of real fur and that made anything in her lap slip and slide.

Jess took another fist full where she wasn't untangling pins and combs and raised it and then let them fall in small sections from his hand like a waterfall, still spreading out what she was trying to haul into confinement within her lap. His face was still full of happy wonderment.

"Dadgum!" His eyes were wide and he looked over at Slim who was grinning at them. "Fella could get lost in here for days! Need a scout." he spoke reverently. "I thought I had a heap of work."

She had the hair loose and the combs and pins corralled in her lap and lightly shook her head.

"You have nice hair, too, Jess, only yours is so well mannered. Is it really that thick it takes wwor_k?" He'd been touching her hair, so she felt it fair to touch his.

She turned to give a good close up look at his head full and reached to touch it lightly. Well, the earth left orbit. She leaned closer to touch it putting one hand on his left knee but that caused her knees to move in and crossed paths with his legs which were somewhat sideways position with his hips tucked deeply in the corner of the sofa. Her light amount of shift in weight to his knee put a torque into his hip which pushed his other hip out on the other side into the arm of the sofa and stretched the flank wound pulling on the stitches. With the right leg suspended hip to hoof on the coffee table and completely wrapped in hot compresses and his lap full of a napping Papillon and blonde hair, he was hog tied. The knee she leaned on was the other leg he had been using to balance with was doing its own fair share of complaining from being ignored on the lessor but still significant hoof damage plus being overloaded compensating for the right thigh's de-stabilized disability. The torque in weight shift pinched the confined left knee contusions and sent an electrical charge of pain up the nerve shaft next to the bone from the hoof razed left knee. On its way to tattling to his brain via his tailbone it dutifully screamed at and centralized in his roots. In other words, from just casual observation his reflex move looked like she'd accidentally buried her elbow in his um... business. He silently gasped at the unexpected move, winced at the pinching nerves screaming to his tailbone and folded toward her because there was nowhere else left in the sofa for his body to be crammed into. It was intended to prevent her from any further accidental encroachment beyond the first electrical warning initiated at his left knee. Being the cowboy gentleman as a guest in an upper income home, there was no sound from Jess, there wouldn't have been any sound short of a mortal wound…and then just maybe. It WAS just as minimal a reflex move in an effort to avert any embarrassing scene developing one second further…after all, injured and tormented nerves can be overly-protective by reasons of "abuse" heaped upon said body parts who believe they are being carelessly ignored. So she didn't actually contact those "business" parts, she leaned on the secondary knee contusions inadvertently sending nerve pain in through that area she hadn't touched. The nerves in his exasperated and abused thighs caught off guard enveloped in sublime ecstasy of the hot compress just instantly redirected any pending additional threat or assault. Anyway, they nearly butted foreheads and in her inexperience with the male physique she instantly pulled back believing from his reflex move protecting his self that she HAD indeed actually crossed the equator and then permanently damaged him.

"OH golly! I'm sorry! Didn't mean ….cripple…you!" She instantly exclaimed, but it was too late. Things fell apart rapidly as her own reflex move was exacerbated because as she pulled back she began slipping off the front of the sofa due to the slippery dress fabric and from trying to catch the combs and hairpins bailing overboard from her lap.

Jess tried to catch her to keep her from moving further and bumping more tender parts further down his legs, but the leg therapy pack propped on the coffee table began to slip off his thigh. He had to divert and try to catch it to prevent the water bag from becoming squished between them and breaking open completely baptizing the sofa in water. In the process Sarabeth tried to help him catch the water bag and she slipped fully to the floor between his knees at his feet with a "whoops!" like a person getting sucked down from an undercurrent in water over their head. Jess tried to catch Sasha, too, because his lap fell apart. Sarabeth landed on her hip and elbow on the floor facing him and the sofa on the side of her back and her hair accessories and yarn basket went flying under the coffee table behind her. Jess couldn't stop what went into motion to save his life because everything was sprawled out either on his lap or on top of him or in front of him on the floor. His leg still wrapped in a quilt was caught on the coffee table keeping him hog tied with his leg on the same plain as his head and was of no assistance what so ever. He was holding a dog and a falling now warm water container that could burst spewing water all over the host's living room. If he pulled away from the arm of the sofa, the quilt would slip off of his shoulder and land on the floor behind the sofa. All the sudden movements were pulling exactly the wrong direction on all the sore places. He was grimacing at the back muscles pulling him back into the sofa protecting the assumed broken shoulder blade as he was trying to keep from falling forward on top of Sarabeth by gravitational pull. But the calf of his left leg was already trapped between her and the sofa table pulling him down like an anchor. Nothing worked.

Somehow Sasha got quickly and safely deposited on the other corner of the sofa as he had to catch himself falling over on top of her, too, potentially flattening her. If she got caught under both humans and between the sofa and the heavy wagon wheel sofa table it would have crushed her feather light legs. His left knee ended up under the table skewering the knitting basket and Sarabeth was buried underneath all the completely loose blonde hair which Jess tried hard to not land on so's he didn't pull all her hair out landing on it. The badly injured thigh was now trapped with the water skin bag and against the sofa. Had he been healthy he would have landed on his hands and knees straddling her knees and ankles and could have salvaged both their dignities but his right arm was still tied down to his body under his shirt. The only part of his body that was working besides pain nerves was his left hand but it was still bundled in gauze from the burns. So he had nothing to catch himself with to keep from completely landing on top of and fully covering Sarabeth lengthwise. He ended up trapped between two heavy pieces of furniture his self stacked on top of her facing her and only supported on his left elbow and in full body contact. It painted a pretty nice and complete image of a man lying on top of a…um… how well they fit together…. er ..um… but in broad daylight…AND in the daggum middle of the living room? Well! … Daisy actually blushed in full Technicolor color and her jaw literally dropped open. In the process Jess whacked his temple over his eyebrow on the edge of the glass table top with a good thud jerking his head back. How on earth the water bag remained unburst will never be explained other than by the instinctive cat-like reflexes and athleticism of a certain cowboy with years of experience and a propensity for ejecting from moving equine, most of the time while his self was in some form or another of hurt and dysfunctioning parts "!"

"So, did you decide to take up knitting, hair styling, or is that couch not quite broke yet?"

Slim couldn't resist and joked at the same time working very hard and failing miserably to not break out in utter laughter over the sudden pouf of bodies, a cloud of blond hair, knitting, hair utensils, and a flying dog named after butterfly wings. He wasn't succeeding and his laughter was more like giggles, but they were the happiest sounds that had been in the house for days. It was even more hilarious seeing Jess in innocent boyish curiosity about woman things actually backfire and nab him, then to see him helplessly sucked down at the hands of a woman's trappings from a truly funny and very innocent reason. Slim closed the book and began moving his sore calf to get out of the chair to help untangle them. Maggie and Daisy were very concerned neither one got hurt and trying not to laugh at Slim's ribbing. They put down their tatting and stood to help as well. Slim first reached to pull the coffee table away. He let it be and went around to pull the sofa back but became convinced they were both heavy.

"The sofa's lighter weight than the coffee table, Slim." Maggie coached giving him a wink, then to Jess,

"We're coming, Jess, please hold still! I don't want you pulling that shoulder or twisting it!" Maggie's voice carried significant concern that Jess was the one who was in danger of injury.

"Not moving….um..." There was a 1 second pause, "…Mom." His voice was at least half an octave higher than normal and cracked though in embarrassment for both Sara and himself. That made Slim have to stop to chuckle again suspending his help for a few seconds. Daisy glared at him.

Jess added the "mom" word purely for precautionary, personal security and life saving measures… not out of fear of Maggie, but just in case because he couldn't see where Daisy was. He was convinced she was in near enough proximity to begin tearing him off of Sarabeth or beaning him to within an inch of his life with the first fireplace log she could reach. The last thing he needed now was a concussion! He was so stuck anyway he'd have been utterly helpless to protect himself, so he was buying time. His right shoulder was screaming at the torque because he was trying to hold his head up and off of Sara's um… you see if he bowed his head to relieve the pressured shoulder, his nose would have been right smack in the middle of her… exquisitely beautiful, ample and perfectly formed um….assets. Even covered up to her neck in a peachy colored, delicate Queen Anne shaped lace collar on a dark navy, cozy, very fitted dress, those assets were…. undeniable and quite possibly the 8th and 9th wonders of the world not in value, but in order of discovery. Well, yes value, too. With the unsupported right arm still tied down under his shirt, it was already laying across her ribs at just above waist level directly under those wonders and the chest side of his screaming right shoulder was directly in full contact with one of them. And being unsupported, his weight was fully resting on that one's "value" which exceeded the comfort of ANY pillow he'd ever touched. From being whacked on the table his head was clouding up fast, so he was not sure which one, but definitely in contact. The um… unmistakably soft and ample full plumpness was unquestionably the dreams of the male version of the homo sapien species. He may have been bent up but he certainly wasn't dead yet and there wasn't one inch of her whole creation that had missed his notice… more than once. Actually, more than "notice." Was more like "notice, admiration and mesmerizing attentiveness leaning hard on the doorway of worship and almost falling through….notice."

"OW!" He threw that one in just for good measure under his breath hoping the ladies would believe he was concentrated on his own parts. 'Sides, pick a corner, any inch of any corner of his body and it was truly screaming. And he hoped Sarabeth would catch a clue to not move until he could somehow figure out how to get those parts of his body to move and untangle when most of them were on strike refusing to move at all.

In spite of jerking all his sore spots inciting all the fresh stabs of pain running up and down his body, the soft landing did provide a fleeting moment of enjoyment in his physical position in relation to the full body contact with a gorgeous, nicely proportioned young woman especially considering the restrictions enforced by social standards of proper etiquette of the day. But Jess really is a cowboy gentleman and was embarrassed for Sarabeth and Maggie and it was certainly nobody's fault any of it happened. It had been purely happen chance, accidental and comical. Jess was practicing the justification in his mind thinking he was stating it out loud, but was indeed too concentrated on trying to move parts of his anatomy, his mouth never got the volume turned up. So as the guffawing Slim began untrapping him from the furniture giving him an inch to move he carefully reached with over-exaggerated and slow movements to the water bag still on his thigh showing he was maintaining proper dignified contact with the beauty trapped underneath him. He was being careful to not bump anything out of bounds on her… although in doing so it was not possible to keep all his parts from not touching her. There's just so much a cowboy.. (ugh..!) .. can do with .. (gasp!) a bummed up body ya know, and her's was the priority. With his only moveable left hand he got the water bag wiggled loose from the quilt on his opposite leg and rescuing it held it up in the air as far as he could raise it as though being handed a figurine award of tribute or greatness and it landed in Maggie's hand which was nearest to him. Then sucking air in through his teeth quietly, he eased slowly um…. off…well, he is a male ….. Sarabeth toward the sofa facing her on her side. Of course he didn't want to move too quickly and risk pinching any part of her perfect assets or bruising her in any manner…that was his story he was sticking to. That move rolled him directly onto his side and the sore right shoulder and he grimaced at the continued new waves of pain that kept breaking into and dastardly disrupting the moment of being cuddled with a perfect specimen of the opposite sex. Finally on his side he tenderly sifted through the long blonde tresses for a hole until he found her face and peeked in worried she was getting any oxygen. She blinked back at him with long eyelashes over deep blue eyes completely embarrassed at her clumsiness.

"Are you ok, your grace?" Jess cooed in his deep voice and tried a smile attempting to alleviate any consternation being confessed by her blushed and flushed face. She looked back with a tiny little smile where Jess easily saw a twinkle of enjoyment in her blue eyes over their brief rendezvous and extreme close quarters contact. It was a good thing there were other adults in the room, he thought, otherwise her "twinkle" was the perfect invite to another smooch. He suddenly realized where hidden by hair, her hands were gently resting their palms on parts of his anatomy. They were not covering herself or gathering her hair protecting herself from intrusion, nor pushing him away or holding his weight off, either. She was indeed mostly steadying his wobbliness but his concentration was watching the twinkle in her eyes so he didn't remember exactly where she was touching him. It's not like he could tell anyway, as the refreshed flip to more than half of his body was with renewed pain and it was numb anyways. Everything else was covered in quilts and her thick dress was padded with all the unknown under thingies that women wore. But she quickly turned into embarrassed tears. He had to take a brief reprieve of the strain on his neck and shoulder because the shoulder was screeching so loudly surely everyone could hear it and he was about to pass out. He quickly dropped his head lowering his mouth to her ear and gave her a quick peck on the neck trying to encourage her, then whispered, "just give me a second."

She mumbled back beginning to fight tears, "I'm ok, Jess, don't hurt yourself."

Slim stopped chuckling long enough to ask, "Need some help there cowboy?"

"Nope! I got this." was the mumbled reply, "Just need a sec…." Jess' voice had that tone in it where Slim knew better than to touch him, so he just stood back to watch in case something else got flipped and or tumbled.

It was a series of calculated calisthenics through grimaces of complaining body parts but he got himself pulled sitting on his bum with his back to the sofa and finally sucked in some breath releasing a huge sigh. Then he pulled her hand directing her to where she was sitting on the floor between his legs into what would have been his lap if not sitting cockeyed on the floor stretching his denim- casted legs back out straight on either side of her (also perfectly shaped…) bum. Encased behind her messed up hair she folded into his chest and cried softly in self-imposed humiliation and he hugged her and held her tightly, kissing her head and smiling past her to Maggie and Daisy who were waiting from behind the coffee table for a diagnosis of a safe landing.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you. I.I…didn't mean to permanently damage…." She genuinely warbled softly between sniffs, her hands under her hair were tumbling at her low stomach, "you know…" She looked up through her hair checking his face for any indication she'd hurt something she shouldn't have touched below his set delineated equator boundary line.

"You didn't, Sara." He cooed just as quietly interrupting the direction of her words to cut off any further embarrassment and loud enough the other adults could be so informed she didn't transgress. He kissed her temple again and pulled her tighter into his …lap um…area hoping she'd notice his trust of her that close in to what she'd thought she'd destroyed.

"No harm, I wasn't paying attention and just didn't see you coming. The nerves in my legs are shot from Bolero's hooves so they're a little over edgy with the long day and funeral and over reacted. You did nothing wrong, Sara."

Jess offered softly wanting to pull all the guilt and blame and self-incrimination from her mind. Jess felt his head now starting to throb and briefly swiped his eyebrow pulling his hand away seeing a small amount of blood from the cut. He fingered it away on his pant leg, he'd had worse in saloon fights and ignored it. Then he began sorting through the completely messed up hair falling down around her head and onto her shoulders like a golden aura trying to divide it so she could get some air. He held her sitting between his legs leaning into his chest, the right leg straight only because it was swollen against the cast of the unmoving tight jeans and still half wrapped in the quilt. His left leg was straight out from his body on the other side but his left booted foot was wearing the broken knitting basket upside down. Daisy went around the coffee table and plucked the basket off Jess' foot and gathered all the knitting pieces off the floor setting them down on the table. Maggie gathered up the combs and hair pins. Daisy's face color had returned to normal, even sympathetic and Maggie was trying to swallow a big smile.

"I am getting a little wrung out myself." Daisy admitted as she set the knitting on the coffee table.

"I think you're right, Daisy. I know I'm beat. Looks like Mike didn't wait for any of us." Slim affirmed once again covering for his pard's embarrassing moments.

Sara's soft weeping slowed to a drip and Jess pulled his folded blue bandana from his left hip pocket and handed it to Sarabeth and she mopped her face while still enfolded in his hug. They both seemed comfortable, even enjoying sitting tucked tightly together….Jess was especially enjoying the heat emanating from her body and all the clothes she was wearing fully draping his legs reminiscent of the snuggling in the buggy's back seat.

"Are you sure I didn't …damage ….? You moved so fast." She whimpered still wasn't convince from the speed he'd moved that she hadn't hurt him. She was looking up at his face through red rimmed eyes.

"I'd be the first to know, Sara and you didn't hurt me." He lied, but to him, it was justifiable homicide of the truth if it would keep her from feeling worse. She hadn't purposefully hurt him, she really had only leaned onto his lessor injured knee initiating a chain reaction that travelled up his leg. So she fired off the start gun and it was the obliterated nerves in his body that had over compensated and he hadn't realized her dress fabric was that slippery. The chain reaction pulling him to the floor without his usual mechanical control had jerked all his sore spots and was what had hurt. Justifiable. She didn't do it. The incident had.

"I'm such a dork." She mumbled through the bandana wiping her eyes.

Jess wiped the blonde locks off her forehead with his left hand ring finger tenderly and added,

"My kind of girl. And such a beautiful dork, too." He kissed the side of her head again and fingered her long waves. "Never seen hair. …looks like spun gold."

"Ya?" She mumbled louder and walking forward into his offered poise then with a light pout began hauling it in and gathering it all wadded at her waist in her arms like it was treasure. "Mine!" was a half-playful challenge.

To Jess, it was a treasure. He'd seen lots of women and all with long hair, but none of them had hair this beautiful that somehow kept mesmerizing him. Jess knew better and let her win.

"Yes, Ma'am!" then he mumbled, "We'll see."

She had it all gathered in her arms with a light pout. He grimaced at a threatening pain spasm in his lower back and his entire body was back to yelling its discordant complaints at abuse above and beyond the call of duty. Being pinpointed to sit on a bum without padding, no saddle, no pillow or anything but a rug covered hard floor, he knew he couldn't maintain their cuddle very long at all and certainly didn't want to push his poor body into those horrible 18" needle pains- especially not in this living room in this circumstance. So he quickly added,

"Help me up?" He was offering her the opportunity to regain her dignity by putting her busy fixing the truth of what had happened. She would look back at it all and feel responsible for accidentally hitting a nerve point deep in his lap in her naivety of the parts of the male of the species that resulted in dumping them both on the floor. But the true embarrassment was not her hair coming down in public, but was of assuming she'd injured him "in front of guests"…..and unspoken, in front of her very polished mother. From her reaction Jess could tell her spirit knew what happened, it would just take a few more minutes for her mind to decipher it and he'd have already handed her the salve for her embarrassment by helping him get back up in his perceived "weakened state." Her "naivety" as her mother put it, was not a negative stupidity. To Jess it was more of a refreshing, refined innocence unmarred by horrible life events that he'd grown up in. It went beyond lack of knowledge about men and into just lack of knowledge about the practical, reality side of life in general. Most if not all eligible women he'd encountered had tons of history that had in some way adversely affected their personalities which then in turn, as Slim had tried to tell him, only called to his proclivity to try to fix everything in their lives. "Noble" as Slim put it, yes, but they were nonetheless a drain off of his own resources for living life. Sarabeth didn't really "need fixing," so the refreshing part was Sarabeth's innocence and purity just needing guidance and protection whilst she discovered life which was not draining to him, maybe even feeding positivity in energy. While he'd discovered a lot about life, going with it with her through her own discovery processes was something completely new to his life simply because hers were not traumatic like his had been. He shook his head slightly and snuck a look at Maggie who looked like she was watching children pick themselves up learning to walk along her coffee table. Her face was so peaceful with a soft radiance as she seemed to be smiling inside herself and Jess began to understand her words from the other morning about his life experience and wisdom helping to guide Sarabeth on into the next chapter of her life's road. Chuck could play a daggone awesome game of poker and had business acumen out the caboose, but Maggie was no slouch either and he was beginning to see a deep reservoir of wisdom, experiential wisdom inside her that held a new fascination about her as a person. He suddenly realized that his experience with quality adults old enough to be his parents was completely missing and was a void in his life. The Wentworths were just so daggone personable he'd forgotten they were not peers, but were really his "missing" elders, or "Mom." He frowned lightly as it suddenly occurred to him he'd come into more than just a turn in the business end of his life. He'd additionally actually found wisdom, healthy wisdom, for once in parent-type role models. He hadn't really counted on ever experiencing that enhancement to his life, yet there he was, sitting in their living room surrounded by it….and actually enjoying feeling a part of it.

Sarabeth looked at her wadded hair and began to move and Sasha sniffing the back of his head brought Jess back to the focus of his vulnerable lap being protected only by injured legs not up to their normal peak performance utterly failing at doing anything, except screaming in pain. As she collected her gear Jess was ever grateful he was not handicapped as a prisoner required to wear all the female skirts and layers upon layers of things that go with. He guided her with his left hand acting to direct her whilst in protection of his self so she could then tenderly pick her way out of his lap. She did so as graceful as a ballerina and using the coffee table and Slim's offered hand as guidance she reached her feet with just her dress hem brushing him. Then she dropped the hair unceremoniously, reached back offering Jess a hand and her hair draped back brushed his face and he instantly breathed in a fresh wave of that splendid crème rinse fragrance. Slim had moved around to the front of the sofa and between them and Jess' unbending legs they lifted Jess to his feet, mostly Slim just hefting him straight up by his lapels and waist belt again. While Slim helped Jess balance Sarabeth sat on the edge of the sofa and using her fingertips only began tenderly unwrapping the hot compress mess around his thigh being extra careful where her fingers went. Everyone grabbed and folded afghans and quilt throws and straightened up the furniture. Slim handed Jess his cane and goodnights were offered around, then Slim swooped Mike off of the chair almost one handed without waking him and everyone toddled off to their bedrooms. Sasha was sashaying like a princess supervisor beside Jess who had his left arm around Sarabeth's shoulders still consoling her.

Once Mike dropped into sleep nothing could wake him so Slim dropped Mike under the covers in his bedroom and went to their bathroom. Jess and Sarabeth with Sasha went into Jess' bedroom. Having walked out of the very warm living room Jess shivered and since the fireplace in the bedroom was going full blast, too, he headed for it while waiting his turn in the bathroom quickly exchanging one heat source for another.

"You felt cool, Jess. Are you ok?" Her voice was soft and in "nurse" mode.

She reached to feel his forehead with the back of her hand and by instinct he pulled his head back an inch until he figured out she wasn't taking a swipe at him like the saloon fights so he allowed it. He figured letting her attend nursing duty would help her overcome her self-retributions and prove he wasn't protecting his self from her offered helps. Sarabeth didn't even notice his duck and then turned to pull his bedding down and he teetered on the cane leaning with his back to the fireplace but staring out the window on the opposite wall at the heavy snow falling.

"Been cold since the fire. Went right to the bone and being wet through keeps it clinging. Fireplace and that hot compress sure felt good."

She walked back up to him and touched his arms and found he was trembling. He was still fascinated with the length of her hair and tucked the hook of his cane in his back pocket then picked another curl up at the bottom. Her hair was a strong golden blonde with reddish low lights mostly all one length with just feathered edges in front. She could pull it all back or part it for a change up look, and it was very thick and very wavy so she wore it up and anchored with hair combs and pins holding braided pieces of her hair woven through out. Now it was completely loose, falling evenly around her shoulders like the spray of a water fountain and when loose still curled came to just past her bum and he touched a lock feathered just off her face. He watched as she smoothed her hair finger combing it, pulled it to the front dividing it into thirds and began to braid it loosely for the night.

"How long did it take you to grow it to this length?"

"Never really cut it. Grows fast and I trim a good inch off the bottom first of every month. When we get a very hot summer I'll cut about 10 inches off and donate it to the hospital and they make wigs."

"Do you ever just leave it loose?" Grimacing he pulled half of the tail of his shirt from his pants and unbuttoned half the shirt checking on the wrap of the right arm. It had pulled loose some in the toss off the sofa and bunched up leaving it in place but gave more wiggle room to his hand.

"I can, or if I sleep with it down then it gets all tangled and that takes forever to brush out. That's a job and a half, believe me."

Her fingers were flying in automatic mode, not even needing to look at what she was doing. She was a third of the way down the length and Jess slowly took her hands stopping her braiding. Then he slid his hands to the hair and took the three sections from her hands. She looked down at his ample hands curious and a little nervous as to his intent since no male had ever touched her hair. His left hand was still bandaged and there was some movement room with his right hand and she watched as he confidently but very slowly, purposefully braided the rest of it enjoying the silky feel. From exhaustion he was also weaving slowly back and forth like a flag in a light breeze without moving his feet. She could tell by the rhythm of his fingers that he'd braided hair before.

"You do that well. Had girlfriends before with long hair, huh." It was a leading statement, not a question.

"My um….girlfriends had four hooves, a mane and a tail. Never felt anything as silky as this."

She offered the ribbon tie to him but he just held the tail up to where she could tie whatever knot she used. While he was holding the end she dabbed a fragranced moisturizing gel of some kind completely saturating the last 2 inches of the ends then commenced a fancy wrap with the ribbon that neatly captured all the ends and then tied a knot in the ribbon that captured the wrap without kinking the ends of the hair. He took the finished end and fingered its ingenious design and raised his eyebrows.

"Did your shoulder wrap come loose? I could check it for you." She'd now turned to anything he needed.

"It's loosened through the day but is better for sleeping. I'm ok."

"I get the impression you wished the braid was going the other way?" she softly mumbled.

She looked up almost teasingly from under her eyebrows seeing a very soft face of a man deep in thought and caught in a quandary. Jess' mouth squirmed as he drew his chin up and thought for a moment, his voice was quiet and reminiscent,

"Whole time I knew my mother her hair was always piled up tight on top of her head. Never saw it all the way down. A few months ago, 15 years after she died, your mother showed me a picture of her and her hair was loose. Was dark, wavy….thick like mine but as long as yours. In that picture she was the most gorgeous woman I'd ever seen. She was always beautiful, but I'd never seen her look…" he gestured a half circle with each hand from her shoulders to her waist. "…..was like this whole cloud was cradling her and framed her face. Man could get lost in a cloud like that."

"Ya, well, you have to brush it out every night, you get tired of wrestling "that cloud"." She responded quietly but emphatic.

She took the tail piece of her braid out of his hand and flipped the braid over her shoulder turning to leave but he caught the tail like they were reins and gently tugged it back slowly pulling her backwards toward him. She turned to protest but he caught her in an all-encompassing one arm hug deep into his chest on the other side with his face capturing her head and nuzzling her ear whispered,

"I wouldn't." He squeezed her tightly but gently then added, "The mane should flow free." Between his left arm on one side and his head down wrapped around her neck on the right and his body curled around her she was wrapped securely within his encompassing body and didn't really care what he said. Her mind basically went blank and she barely latched onto what he said at all because being surrounded by this man's body seemed to shut down her mind. All she wanted to do was both curl up inside his hold and at the same time gather him inside her body and shelter him….it confused her but she knew she didn't want to move. She snuggled deeply into his body without any resistance folded totally into the curves of his body and even as fatigued as he was she could still feel strength in the denseness of his muscles. He nuzzled into the side of her head taking one deeper sniff of the fragrance in her hair and then lightly kissed the side of her neck under the braid. Neither one wanted to move but his trembling became worse from the exhaustion of the day and having gotten jolted falling over her on the living room floor. Her head was turned slightly with her temple near his heart and she mumbled into his chest.

"I thought you said no kissing." She gently reminded him.

"In the bed." It was a whisper tucked gently in the breath she felt near her ear.

"Oh." Then she added thinking he needed fuel, "Are you hungry? A snack before turning in? There's more peanut butter and peach…."

She didn't get to finish her sentence as that was all the invitation Jess was looking for. He released the hug, cupped her cheek and chin gently in his fingers and not needing any sticky assistance or further offer he kissed her mouth lingeringly. His kiss started small just touching her lips but the longer they kissed and the more she responded his lips tasting hers eventually covered her entire mouth. She matched his kiss becoming more confident in her response and seeking to identify and enjoy what she was tasting. Her arms slipped softly around his waist holding him steady into her hips assisting his stand and due to the loss of his one arm in a full hug. When their lips parted, the kiss didn't seem to stop but merely separated by a hair's breath as though it could reconnect and she could feel his soft breath directly on her lips and taste the lightest flavor of the bourbon he'd had earlier. She looked up into his face but his eyes were still closed in a dream like state, he brought his forehead to rest on hers, their noses side by side and his hand slid gently to rest on her shoulder. Slowly she reached back connecting their lips softly and he instantly accepted happy with her volunteered offer and he pressed a little more into her mouth where it became a nibbling. She felt his tongue tenderly touch her lips as if his tongue was now kissing her, too. But his body's wobbling was becoming worse by each minute. Afraid he might begin to fall over again and that cause even more injury to him, she pulled back softly and slowly and as a gentleman he accepted what she volunteered but didn't push for more. She looked back up to check his face finding his eyes still closed and with his forehead at that angle and the light hitting just right from the fireplace she could see a bruise forming with a small cut in the middle that was on his temple where the coffee table bit him. She slowly took his face in her hands and reached up bringing his head down to her lips she gently kissed the bummy and then putting her arms over his shoulders and around his neck gathered him tightly into her hug. Her move put them back into the same full body contact as when they were on the floor in the living room only this time she opened her whole body fully to contact his with no hands or hair in between. He eased his right arm free from the loosened wrap and brought it around her shoulders and dropped his left arm across her back capturing her next to his left cheek, his nose snuggled again into her hair at her ear. She could still feel his breath as he then nibbled her ear with his lips and then kissed it and then the base of her neck. His left arm dropped toward her bum seeming as though he wanted to lift her body but physically couldn't…or wouldn't by choice disciplining his contact. Before his hand reached its goal she felt his arm come back up and stopped at her waist instead. He relaxed into her hug and accepting her opened body for contact fully curled around her snuggly accepting her body as a balance without transferring any of his weight onto her. It thrilled her in his trust of her ability to help hold him up but she felt her whole body flush where their bodies met.

As exhausted and hurting as he was since the barn fire where they first kissed, without anyone needing to tell him, Jess knew she was naïve about men by how she kissed. Her first kiss was technical, and the peanut butter kisses were pure fun, but this kiss had changed some. She was still in a receiving, learning mode and yet to be at 100% of knowing herself so she would know how to seek and ask from him what she needed. Gaining that, she would then be able to respond back in giving him what he was asking and seeking through the kiss, so she wasn't there yet. But in the last few, or was it just two days, she'd made significant progress in understanding the communication of the inner spirit's love. He was in no hurry, though. He knew he was in no shape to either receive what she was capable of giving, or that he was in any shape to give what she would need because his body wasn't whole. But he fully recognized what Josie had been trying to explain to him in the pasture months ago about Slim's tastiness. He'd known what Josie had referred to but hadn't experienced it until now, well suffice it to say, he'd tasted but they all left a sour or unsatisfying whang or bitter aftertaste of manipulation. Some kisses could simply water your eyes. Sarabeth's kisses, young as they were, tasted so differently pure like the cold water off a high mountain spring you could never quite get filled up with not realizing just how thirsty you were. That was a little bit scary because Jess didn't realize just how parched his soul was or that there could be such deeper level of satisfying it. The concept of teaching an untouched filly and finishing her out to his code, however, was extremely tantalizing, and timing is just as important as the mechanics of the ground work. Wait a sec….she's talking again…. What?

"You need to get to sleep, Jess, you're worn through." It was just barely above a whisper… could have equally been her own coo that matched his and was a new tone, deeper, even smoother in her voice that brought chill bumps up on the back of Jess' neck in its sensuality. It carried a tone of caring for him not by giving orders for him to obey such a mother would, but in a genuine nurturing of a peer who had gained privilege to guide him and was lovingly entreating him. It was obvious enough he opened his eyes and briefly looked into hers and had to quickly look away because there was also a new, deep glow of that same sensuality in her blue eyes and THAT was an open invitation to his soul but one which he didn't have authority to accept….yet. Dadgum, she learns fast, he thought. Reckon he'd better watch his step.

She could tell he was vulnerable and she wasn't going to take advantage of it. Sharing inner thoughts from that long ago about his mother's beauty and the gentleness of his hands touching her hair seemed to be intertwined inside him somehow and yet tonight they were not in an orderly way. From having watched him through the events of the Christmas break, she sensed from how he handled himself that he had things long buried from both his past or from people who'd gotten close only to be hurt further and he controlled those things harshly in a private way to keep from being wounded deeper. Bringing up the topic of his mother should have ignited jealousy in her but there was something from the way he shared. She could tell it was a deeply personal and loving memory and by sharing that, he was risking exposing that inner tenderness from his intensely guarded past to have even answered her question. He'd given with honesty where his mind was when he'd touched her hair and not made up some comment to try to appease her or bait her into loving him with a personal, romantic reply flattering her about her hair. Her eyes misted up as she realized in his own way, Jess had just handed her a little part of his heart and was trusting her with a memory of the only other woman he had loved and trusted that deeply. She could tell his mother was the only woman who had never betrayed Jess, or worse used him to satisfy the female's own self, and was why he adored her so much it was a kin to worship of her. He also had described to her what his concept of beauty is and it wasn't so much the visual, but had revealed that priority of not betraying a trust because trust is action of love. As trust was mandatory for love to live, then to him, betrayal was death and would separate him. And as he had said, trust is the foundation. Jess had a very charismatic personality and came in a pretty package, but he shared vitally important information IF you really listened.

She slowly pulled back from their full contact and he reluctantly released her and opened his eyes. They were a deep blue with lavender highlights and hers were a light blue with teal undertones and for a few seconds their blue eyes met and shimmered in the fire light reflecting the same shade of blue. She saw the very same flicker of light she'd seen in his eyes when he'd tackled her at the barn fire pulling her down out of the gunfire and covering her with his body just moments before he was hit in the flank. Had any other man jerked her to the cold ground and landed on top of her like that she'd have been all over him like an angry cat. But she saw something in that flicker from Jess' eyes that had both instantly calmed her and made her feel completely safe. Something in his eyes was his spirit telling her that he was not taking her for his own use, nor was he extracting from her something he believed she owed him simply because he was the male and she a female. That flicker was a micro-burst of his life essence ejecting from deep inside him to accomplish a benefit to whom he was aiming. At the barn, he was simply laying down his own life to protect her from her own ignorance without judging her and she'd laid in his hold contained by his body until he released her in safety.

As she gently began to pull back he wobbled taking a small step to re-steady himself standing unassisted and she made sure he was able to stand alone and left to retrieve the extra quilts on her bed across the hall. In the dark she quickly changed from the outdoor clothing she'd worn all day to a set of winter level lounge clothing that was public oriented, just not all decorated and kept on the heavy leg stockings she wore under dresses.

Slim came out of the bathroom, they all said goodnight to each other and Slim limped to his room and closed the hall door. In the shadows of the hall Sara thought he looking gaunt and tired. When they were introduced Slim had more than caught her eye. He was carved like a Greek god, big, powerful man, intelligent with strong principles, yet his eyes were the most gentle ones and she'd felt he was so true she could trust him with anything. But the more she watched him, there seemed to be a fence raised as though he was waiting for something or someone so she'd thought it best to not push too far into his world.

With the cane tossed onto the bed as too much trouble Jess wobbled into the little bathroom by hanging onto the walls and Sarabeth moved the cane hooking off the edge of the bedside table then spread the extra quilts on his bed and finished pulling the bedding back so all he had to do was fall in. In the doorway of the bedroom they passed each other as he came out having to turn sideways for both to fit through and it was a slow, easing contact as their bodies touched. This moment and hugs before repeated their close contact from the floor in the living room earlier only these were standing vertical. He'd re-tucked his right arm back into the bandaging and so caught her with one arm leaning on the door jamb behind her and with his body holding her softly against it substituting for the wrapped arm and they looked deeply into each other's eyes. She saw a wide open door deep into his inner being and it was like looking into a lagoon of refreshing peacefulness, a person who knew himself through experiences that he'd survived and had taught him hard lessons. It instilled in her a confidence that he could show her the way. But it also plainly revealed how exhausted he was and hurting beyond words, how he even could stand amazed her so she didn't linger knowing he needed to sleep. She sensed he was the type of man who would pour out his last ounce of blood to provide, not knowing when to stop to preserve his own life but tonight was not the right time and somebody needed to take care of him for a change. She could feel his breath softly flowing down her face and didn't want to move from it as they could just as easy picked back up with another kiss. But things were vibrating inside her body and she wasn't sure she could stop at one more of his kisses that somehow fed her strength and courage which baffled her. Besides, she could feel his trembling and weaving and there was now a quiet deep toned groan in his exhales barely audible above the crackle of the fireplace that was tattling on the stabs of pain he was experiencing. She looked briefly into his eyes and he kissed her lips so soft and light it felt like the tickle of a feather. She knew he was offering more, but because it was so feather light, she knew it was an offer not a demand. So she reached and separated the top of his shirt and without lingering lightly kissed his chest over his heart then covered it with her hands like a squirrel patting the ground over a fresh morsel. It was as though she was covering his vulnerability with her love and closing the gate to the drain on his giving from himself. His head was down watching her tuck in her kiss when she looked up saw his eyes were misty as though he understood her message completely so she quickly dotted the dimple in his chin with a kiss then ducked under his arm and went on into the bathroom before he could respond. She wanted to kiss his lips again and felt he did, too. But on her side it would have been a kiss that didn't stop merely on their lips, but somewhere deeper in their souls somehow feeding each other. So she sensed it wouldn't stop at a kiss, or if it had gone further and one of them stopped, then someone would have been hurt and it wasn't gunna be her hurting him.

He slowly turned in his fog of pain and fatigue knowing she was making the correct decision for both of them, so gimping along the edge of the bed he mechanically began pulling off and dropping the outdoor clothes on the chair in a heap and fell into the bed of clouds on his left side with his right arm still wrapped to his chest. As he pulled up the covers Sasha quickly settled in her place at his tummy and without looking at her Jess settled the quilt around her tucking her in from being ejected or sliding off the side of the bed. Sarabeth came back out, finished tucking the covers over both him and Sasha and dropped down all but the door lamp at the hallway to barely on, refreshed the logs in the fireplace and pulled the adjoining room door half closed already hearing Slim's light snore. Then with a glance out the window at the driving snowfall she crawled in on the far side of the bed under the top quilt wondering if she'd be warm enough.

"You gunna be warm enough under one quilt?" it was a soft deep voice speaking slowly and slurred.

"I can go get another one if I need it." She answered softly. "We have tons of homemade quilts."

"Maybe you should just get in on top the sheet." Jess mumbled.

She wondered if he was feeling still too cold and just mentioning her, so she backed out of the bed and crawled back in this time on top his sheet and under the two down filled quilts. Quickly she could feel his body's skin temperature was too cool.

"Better?" she asked as she tucked in the bedding around them.

"Ya….normally ….not this ….cold. You're on the window side, take what covers you need."

"Your body is working overtime with the injuries, Jess, and the snow storm doesn't help."

There was no answer, just his body's internal vibrating from fatigue and weakness. Tucked this close and under the bedding she could feel his skin surfaces were cool so the trembling had to be from pain. The cold would have been more of a shivering. There was a long pause and she thought he'd slipped into sleep.

"Your husband's place to take your hair down. No one else." His voice was smooth.

Sarabeth frowned and lifted her hand to hold her head up looking at him….but he said nothing else and the fire crackled in the silence of the room.

"Jess?" she called softly.

Still no answer, so she just slowly tightened along the back length of his body to add warmth. She could feel where she came into contact his body softly arched away from her followed by a slight stretch as she finished connecting and he groaned deeply into the pillow with his baritone voice. She wasn't sure why. She moved as gently as she could. Once she got set and only when she stopped moving his arch would relax and she felt the tension very slowly start seeping from every inch of his body much like watching water draining from a bathtub. It seemed like an eternity to her for him to become fully 'unbuckled' realizing for it to take that long just how deeply he had to pull from within himself in strength to make the day. And that also meant how much he was covering up being in pain. Settling still under the bedding and tucked to his body she began to feel his body begin to warm up first in contact with her, then from the front of his body and he began to relax and his blood circulation could get beyond the tensed muscles and reach the outer layers of skin.

Easing into his back she briefly touched the bandaged wound just above his hip on his right flank checking for heat of infection, or wet drainage and if sticky, then a need to check for pus. But there was none, it was normal temperature and dry and he didn't even flinch. She realized for the first time by their height differences, that wound he took was right at her lower core and he had already moved her sideways a good 4-5 inches when he was hit, meaning the wound on his side would have been dead center on her. Had he not stepped in the path of the wayward bullet, had she even lived, it would likely have hit her where it would have eliminated her chance to have children. She began tearing as his leg kicked a couple times toward the foot of the bed in pain spasms. He groaned softly at several exhales and had several pain spasms in his shoulder before finally going into a deep, regular breathing rhythm. Then she drifted off to sleep listening to the fire crackle and with tears spilling onto her pillow wondering since he'd never brought up the event of being hit, did he even realize what he had saved of her future dreams?

CHAPTER 7: A Blast from the Past forms a New Merger

It was late the next morning when Jess gradually faded back to consciousness and he could hear all kinds of voices chatting and dishes clanging as their sounds floated down the hall from the kitchen and dining room. He didn't have to check and could feel both Sasha and Sara had left the bed and was amazed yet again that he never felt them move. It was both annoying and scary because for as long as he could remember any noise or movement close or far would wake him no matter how exhausted he was. It HAD to be something about this room, or the logs, it was such a quiet, peaceful silence and felt so secure maybe like a cocoon. Most of the time when inside this house he didn't even remember where he'd left his gun or even thought about it, and THAT made him very unnerved. He ALWAYS knew where that gun was hanging or sitting. Maintaining his warm spot and holding the bedding close he turned slowly in the bed trying to not give in to a stretch which he knew would start the pain train. He wanted to look out the window finding a bright sunny morning illuminating all kinds of diamond like sparkles on the fresh snow, he gauged maybe a good 15 inches or so. A quick glance toward Slim's room and his bed was empty and made. Food aromas were strong, lessee, coffee, fresh biscuits, eggs and a meat….ham…. and from the sounds it was likely everyone was eating. With nothing known to be on the agenda for the day and the snow depth, there was no hurry to get up…well except the need for a quick trip to the bathroom. He began to move, and …may be not so quick a trip….this is going to take…..at least the lu was close…and indoors! So fighting stiffness and soreness, like molasses on a winter morning he eased out of the covers. Reaching a sitting position the wrapping on his right shoulder had mostly unwound enough nothing would go on top of it and it was loose enough it would begin to fall off with the process of walking. So he took a moment and removed it and got the undershirt on then grabbed his other clothes for warmth and gingerly pulled them on over his underwear knowing his best chance to get the tight jeans over the knees and thighs was in the morning before going vertical. As expected once he began moving, the swelling and chorus of complaints commenced immediately. Then he took the cane that had been moved to the chair with his clothes and worked his way to the bathroom. He shook his head while looking at his body as though it was not his because it took the full distance between the bed and the bathroom door for him to get fully vertical due to the stiff and sore body. Apparently Bolero had dinged him worse than he remembered and his lower ribcage was squawking, too, and a quick check in the mirror showed that new bruising had reached the surface. It must have been a deep hit to take that long. By the time he'd finished in the bathroom and opened the door to head back to bed, the aromas from the hall were too strong for his hungry stomach. Having already made the effort to get vertical and dressed, his stomach quickly won the argument to not wait to be offered room service. That may be homemade bread, not biscuits he was smelling…. and maybe….no … definitely some hot apple… something…..was brewing. Either bread was fine because Maggie made buttermilk biscuits where you could actually taste the buttermilk and all his life buttermilk was a luxury reserved for rich folks. He was underway anyway, might as well go on down the hall and join the morning cheeriness. Cutting down on walking effort though, he headed to the dining room through the kitchen taking the back way into the room with the big table where everyone was laughing and eating. It took a few minutes to get there but as he got closer the conversation became distinguishable.

"How's that leg coming along, Slim?" Chuck asked before stuffing another forkful of ham in his mouth.

"Doing great, Chuck, closing nicely. Maggie's poultice sure took the fire out of it in a hurry. Just stiff and I need to start walking it loose."

"We'll be pulling those bandages off of his hands in a few days, Poppa. He heals quickly."

"I understand Sarabeth is doing a fine job nursing Jess." Daisy raised her eyebrows readying herself to play cupid with a new target.

"He's got her and Sasha, Daisy. Sure is making the most of his duo." Slim teased as he smiled.

Sarabeth started to protest believing everyone in the house now knew she was sleeping in his bed and probably misunderstanding it, but Maggie beat her to the draw.

"Sarabeth's in training for her future here as a ranch matron and as a wife, Slim. Jess' body took a good deal more injuries than yours and are a good diverse mix of needs. When I check him out, he's making good progress under her care."

"I'm not so sure, Mother. Last night when I turned his bed down he was standing bucked up to the fireplace and shivering. Then I think he felt really bad he got tangled in my hair causing it to all come down because he stood there barely able to stand and finished braiding my hair back up for the night. And when I checked a good half hour later he was in bed but still trembling and groaning in pain, and he's got a huge bruise on his temple where that coffee table bit him, too."

Maggie looked concerned and thoughtful for a moment. "He must be pulling from very deep to take that long to unwind."

"He took your hair down, Sis?" Chuck's fatherhood was mildly alerted. "I should've stayed awake longer."

"Me, too." Mike piped with a smile and stuffed his mouth with an overload of pancakes and the syrup ran down his chin.

"Mike! And for heaven's sakes, take smaller bites!"

"But it tastes good, Ms. Daisy." He was using his tongue trying to swipe his lips clean.

"It'll taste just as good in small bites and last longer, too, young man." She admonished.

"Your hair? Coffee table?" Chuck smiled at Mike but tried to return to important issues.

"It was nothing, Poppa. Sarabeth was sitting next to Jess showing him how she knits and her hairdo was swiping him in the face so he grabbed a curl to hold it out of his eyes then got tangled in it. When Sarabeth tried to move away her combs came out. Was really quite funny." Maggie explained as she was buttering her biscuit.

"What did the coffee table do?" Mike asked stopping his next bite and unloading half of his fork. Daisy was watching.

"Well, Sarabeth's hair is so long and curly when it's down it comes to her bum and all of her hair had fallen down into her lap and his. They were comparing her hair to his and when she reached to feel his hair everything fell apart. His lap was full of Sasha, Sarabeth's hair, the knitting, I had him wrapped hip to hoof in a hot compress propped on the coffee table. Poor dear couldn't have moved if a stampede had started across the living room. Jess and Sarabeth ended up on the floor trying not to step on each other. How bad is his new bruise?"

"I didn't get to see it yet this morning, but it should be ok. I kissed it last night like you always did our booboos, Mother."

Daisy and Slim both looked at Sarabeth then each other and chuckled quietly.

"That's what Ms. Daisy does to me, too!" Mike volunteered and Sarabeth looked at him, smiled and nodded to him. Then she looked at Maggie.

"He said something really unusual just before he dropped off to sleep, though. He said only a husband should be allowed to unbraid my hair. I'm still trying to figure that one out." Sarabeth offered.

"He's right, Sis! You pay attention to what he says." the father side of Chuck agreed waving his fork at her. "Ain't that so, Momma?"

"Yes Dear." Maggie shook her head just to keep Chuck in his seat. At the same time she smiled proud to be married to a man she knew would be so committed to his only daughter's environment.

Jess arrived still groggy and stiff bouncing between the hall walls, the kitchen counter and island and wobbled to the stove that looked like it still had pans cooking foods. Not expecting anyone to wait on him, he started lifting lids to find something that had been left on the stove to stay warm for him to eat like at home, but what he found was pre-preparation cooking for the meals later in the day. One was a very large stewing pot of apple pie filling and needing no thought or decision his body became instantly alert. He immediately put the lid down off the stove and hanging onto the countertop started rifling around for a bowl and a serving dipper. Daisy saw him first.

"There's our sleepy head. Good morning, Jess!" She called cheerily. "Leave that apple pie filling alone!" was the added warning, "it's for la..ter." Then she looked at Maggie and Sarabeth and spoke in a normal voice,

"I swear, that man can find apple pie in any form or any stage of being made no matter where it is in the house. I've simply run out of hiding places for a finished one. He seems addicted to it. Calls apple pie a "fruit"." Daisy had volunteered to fix the entire dinner that evening in appreciation for such delightful holiday guest accommodations and was on guard to protect her best efforts crème de la crème she planned for dessert.

"Maybe you'll share your recipe with me, Daisy." Maggie wasn't beyond meddling and adding to her daughter's arsenal of recipes for catching quality men with food. Besides apples were easier to acquire than peaches and made great preserves, too.

The dining table was at one end of the large room, a kitchen island in an "L" shape in between was then matched to the "L" shaped kitchen counters, cabinets and cooking components on the other end of the room framed by a bay window with a round table. Standing facing the stove would put one at a 90 degree angle to the persons at the table on opposite ends of the large room. So to speak to Jess, Daisy had to raise her volume slightly which only made her voice more shrill, especially to a sleepy headed, hungry cowboy.

Watching the fuzzy bed-headed Jess, Maggie and Sarabeth smiled at each other at Jess' predicament, his barely put together appearance and attitude. He was so bedraggled looking yet so intent on his focused target, the two images made quite an amusing spectacle. He looked nothing like the polished cowboy gentleman from earlier weeks, or even the funeral yesterday. Just bluntly, he looked like he was at home and barely vertical in a hangover. It thrilled Maggie that he had come to feel that at ease in her home, not stuffy like a formal guest in their first visit. She smiled to herself watching him with a hint of amusement gleaming in her face as his true, almost comical personality began pervading through the guest manners revealing a more complete display of his natural personna. She had long believed this was the true Jess underneath the more formal public image he quite capably carried off. It was the aire of just being who he was, take it or leave it, yet with the visual appeal was what his true magnetism was. Everybody but Mike stopped eating and turned to look at the still crumpled figure at the stove.

Due to the limited reach of the sore right shoulder and the sore hip wound, the wrinkled corner of his shirt tail over the right hip was still peeking over the waistband completely untucked. The shirt was caught by only two buttons low near his waist and due to the limited shoulder range of movement to fully pull on socks, they were on but loose and he was padding around in his heavy weight boot socking feet like they were flippers. The forgotten sling had been left on the bedroom chair in favor of hanging the thumb off the front pocket of his jeans and he had a good, swollen full color shiner slightly above his eye on the eyebrow complete with a new scab on the 1" cut and the swelling obscured half of his view to that side. Food had obviously taken precedence over appearance.

"Smell….food." Jess mumbled groggily his voice was as deep and raspy as his hair and scruff was messed up and scraggly. He was still looking around the unfamiliar kitchen for something to put apple pie filling in. He spied a dipper and instantly grabbed it as though pulling his gun in a gunfight….and then stiffened against the reprimand his right shoulder sharply issued for the sudden movement. It was a sharp enough pain it caused him to dip the injured right leg as he put his right elbow into his hip. But, food takes precedence over appearance and apple pie over pain and he groaned and winced but pressured himself through it.

Dr. Slim chuckled and announced his diagnosis, "He's fine. Appetite's working. When Jess can get his self to any kind of food, he'll live." Slim was always amused watching Jess rooting around any kitchen because it was completely opposite to the "cool, smooth gunfighter" or the "polished woman magnet." He could get around the home kitchen ok because he was used to it. Maggie's kitchen was a palace in comparison, almost as big as Slim's entire house and Jess was dwarfed by comparison and looked small like a child. He looked absolutely frazzled and lost as he was standing cockeyed in a bent up body but being led by the nose to the rule of his empty stomach.

Jess rubbed the growth of scruff on his chin that itched still looking around the stove when he suddenly grasped his chest and sucked in air like he'd been cuffed in the gut. Slim saw the reaction and frowned because it reminded him of when Jess was on the roof just before Josie had driven up coming "back from the dead" and Jess was sharing her panic attacks in their twin empathy. But he quickly dismissed the idea because Josie wouldn't know they were here. Jess frowned for a moment and blinked a few times recycling in his head what he'd just felt, then nodded having identified it. It lasted only a flicker of time and Jess was back to his priority pawing through the pans and he found a recently used large empty mixing bowl and picked it up. Didn't matter to him at all it was used, it was a container, and oversized – even better. Sasha saw Jess at the stove and having just finished her breakfast over by the bay window she licked her lips and trotted up to Jess looked up, poked him with her front paw and wagged her tail. He leaned over mostly reaching her up stretched nose and showing her his empty bowl.

" 'er's my nurse. Finish your breakfast, girl? Found me some apple pie!" He beamed at her greeting and for a moment the pain disappeared from his face as it broke into a soft beam of endearment. She looked so happy. That made him happy…..and she was all his now and nobody would ever take her away from him again.

"Jess!" came another stern, louder warning from Daisy that broke the love fest between man and his dog and he jerked quickly looking back over his shoulder in Daisy's direction. The acoustics in the log kitchen was very different than Slim's house and it magnified her voice. He wasn't sure if she was right behind him and ready to bean him with whatever weapon she could grab. The pitch of her voice had elevated and held fresh consternation, near panic. From Daisy's point of view now seeing her empty mixing bowl she thought he fully intended to completely fill that very large bowl with his "serving" of apple pie. She'd learned the hard way that Jess' idea of a serving was not the standard concept of one sixth or one fourth of a pie. No, his serving size was what he was hungry for and how empty he was and his "empty capacity" did not match his physical size or his adult age of proper portion control. She'd seen him many times outpace a teenage boy in that capacity factor. That mixing bowl put her entire planned dessert in jeopardy and it had contained the entire portion for two fully heaped up pies she had brewing and which he had instantly cornered like a hunting dog on point of a treed coon. Indeed, Jess looked over at her his eyebrows arched in the center with the pathetic, forlorn look of a lost puppy who'd been suddenly plucked from his nipple and he blinked deeply several times. Then still looking at her, he pointed with the dipper into the pan of bubbling brew.

"Bbut …Daisy…..'at's apple… pie… in there.." The steam from the simmering potion was wafting up into his face and his peaked eyebrows were fully reaching the overhanging forelock from the uncombed hair. He re-directed the dipper pointing to his scruff covered face, "….'is nose can tell…."

"I'm serious, Jess. Later." She warned, the tone in her voice dropping along with her chin and her heartbeat actually quickened…Jess' face was so serious in its captured quarry and she was sitting at the far end of the room.

He looked back longingly deep into the pot and like a pup sitting up on its haunches whined endearingly, "…..aan'…..it's hot." Then under his breath he let out one of the longest low groans in the deep baritone timbre and his posture slumped even further. Both hands came down to his sides but his gaze was still transfixed on the bubbling potion pleasantly assaulting his nose and titillating his salivary glands. She looked closer and saw he actually had his tongue stuck between his lips at the ready. The right hand hanging from a sore shoulder still found enough energy to fidget unwaveringly as it gripped the dipper's handle unmercifully. If he'd had a tail it would've been now drooping between his hind legs.

Sarabeth and Maggie were both smiling in compassion and light amusement and both started to get to their feet but Maggie put her hand on her daughter's shoulder to sit back down and finish her breakfast. Maggie had already cleaned her plate and knew she could out-rank the visiting cook if Jess needed protection where as her daughter would have only walked into danger. This was quickly becoming a hot-keg of entertaining etiquette as she knew Jess hadn't been clued in that Daisy was in charge of supper thus had some authority over a simple offer to provide a dessert. She didn't want either one to be hurt or offended, especially not in her home and her pride and joy custom designed kitchen.

"We've got your breakfast held back staying hot, Jess, just need to put it on plates. Sarabeth has a tray all ready to go to your room as soon as you woke up. Come sit down, I'll get it." She offered in a calm, soft voice of reason and control that always impressed Slim.

Slim was grinning ear to ear shaking his head in amusement and trying to keep from outright laughter. Daisy was lit up and barely sitting, almost half standing and the look on her face was near terror. She was physically too far away to rescue her pie filling which was in pure peril and even if she could stop Jess, she wasn't at home where she could chase him off with the broom or rolling pin she normally used because they were guests in a very classy house. On the other side of the kitchen, the always ravenous Jess was certainly so far past empty and hungry, he'd be pushed by sheer hunger pain into near a gunfight sense of fight had the scene been different. Slim had heard Jess mention growing up so hungry his stomach literally had pain that folded him over. Now Jess' entire body was riveted and on point to one of his most favorite food groups on what just had to be a double empty hungry. Food intake for both of them had not kept up with the energy expenditures over the last 3 days and knew that Jess would be near desperate for food, let alone one of his favorites that he had so little self-control with.

"Eh, Daisy? Didn't I say anywhere within 5 miles and he'd find it?" Slim joshed also trying to avert a disaster.

Daisy glanced almost a glare just briefly at Slim then quickly back to the pending standoff at the stove as though her gaze was keeping Jess paralyzed, but she nodded,

"I know…." she affirmed from a cook continually annoyed by a certain pesky varmint constantly thieving from the garbage can no matter how secure it had been set.

Slim didn't want to leave but had to because the pending standoff of infection in his body that had lost was still in its evacuation stage and couldn't be delayed. He smiled, stood up and excused himself from the table to exit to the bathroom. "I'll be right back."

"Ok, dear." Daisy acknowledged still keeping a wary eye on her gold mine of simmering delicacy.

"Jess." Was another warning not wanting to make a scene in front of their hosts.

Jess and Daisy exchanged stares for a moment or two and Daisy was holding her table knife in her right hand from having buttered a biscuit but Jess didn't know that was why. He was just taking note because he knew in the past she'd chased him off of his find with anything she could put her hands on so he constantly watched her hands. Her head was tilted and she had put on that motherly face fixing to say, 'don't make me come over there…'! Mike even stopped eating for a few seconds and checked her face then looked quickly at Jess.

Jess must have somehow read her face from experience and he took one last long, yearning look into the pot still transfixed and trying to figure a way to nab at least a bite. The right leg was beginning to tremble. He was positive the rumbling of his stomach could be easily heard from anywhere in the large house, maybe even as far away as the barn.

"Bbut…? Maybe it ….just needs a …..quality control …" Jess muttered almost half-hearted but digging for any excuse as he sagged still staring into the brew.

Daisy shifted in her chair for other reasons but it caused it to rub on the floor like she was standing up to make good on her threat. Maintaining position on point to his quarry but well experienced from home having Daisy chase him off of her food Jess' whole body flinched sideways in his socks now believing she was physically coming on attack and his boyish instinct was prepared to dodge and run away from her. He forgot his legs weren't working. But a last, quick glance showed her still seated yet looking up through her eyebrows so he held his ground. Very reluctantly, eyebrows still arched but in agony of defeat, Jess' lower lip quivered then he finally slowly half dropped, half threw the bowl and dipper onto the counter next to the stove, his hands wavering. The dipper was slightly stuck to his hand from residue and dropped late in delayed departure making a second clatter and landed in the bowl. Forgetting to return the lid to the apple pie pot and the cane hanging on the oven door handle, with sagging posture of being overthrown he turned still staring into the pot and started gimping for the table with his chin drawn up like a drawbridge and his eyebrows arched like he was fixing to cry.

For a bent up body singing loudly in a bottomed out barometer, bruised and dinged, and his stomach hurting in hunger it was a long walk that went slow. As he gimped hanging onto pieces of furniture or walls headed for the table, Jess glared at Daisy as his lower lip continued to stick out like a back porch now joined with the drawbridge and quivering ever so slightly. With his left bandaged hand he purposefully took an obvious hitch at his beltless waistband. He'd lost weight from the buckboard accident, then Josie's events and never really got that put back on to his normal. Then the pressure of all the business transactions completely new to his lack of experience and then working and re-working the Sherman properties for two years adjusting to the growing need, it was a real job trying to keep his weight on and he was still not back to his normal. So his clothes still fit tight because of the muscles but the belts were vital in securing the clothes during movement because of the lack of hips and the waist and lower core had shrunk. Being deprived of his goal by force of manners and etiquette still did not preclude him from trying to make Daisy feel guilty over denying his poor dilapidated, deteriorated body and injured parts the simple mere sustenance it required just to maintain his physic. The Harper DNA understood guest manners and protocols, but was just as stubborn and ornery enough it wasn't giving up having the last say on the exchange even if it had to be without words. Somehow, he thought, he must find a way to get through to her that he has to eat to just maintain his weight, let alone hold his fitness level, and food is even more vital when he's injured. And why fix food for people and then keep them from eating it? Petticoats are so dadgum hard to figure. Daisy was not unsympathetic and at first she met his glare, but then she looked away. He wasn't dead yet, not if he could still put up an argument….. …mother's know. With her hands cupped over her mouth Sarabeth was looking back and forth between them watching the "silent" exchange between them with her eyebrows peaked both in sympathy and amusement over their communications. Just as he passed the island and Maggie reached her feet, there was frantic knocking at the front door. Maggie was the closest and she patted the chair beside Sarabeth as a target for Jess and headed for the door.

"I'll get that. Come sit, Jess. Be just a moment." Maggie coached as she turned for the front door.

"Who could be out already? Looks like 15 inches out there." Jess mumbled as he slowly slinked forward in obedience like a puppy who'd been verbally corrected. He released his hold on the island. It was just two steps to the table but without any support… he started to reach for the chair with his right hand but mid air he had to pull up an arm's length away. The shoulder muscle did not like the effort of reaching and was truly seizing up and his feigned pain being directed at Daisy being turned away from the pie suddenly became very real. With a barely audible whimper he swiveled away from the table so nobody could see his face as he pulled the right arm into his ribs with his left hand trying to prevent a full pain pulling a cramp. He used a light stretch and sank slightly on his legs against the island trying to stay on his feet as the knees lost their starch and he swallowed a curse. Suddenly the missing sling took new importance because it not only caused him hesitation in using the arm, it distributed gravity's pull and without that, gravity took full advantage like a fully grown bully. Chuck looked up just in time to see Jess turn away and recognized Jess was covering up a real pain spasm and he immediately put his fork down and with his face mirroring Jess' grimace stood halfway up ready to rush to Jess' aide. But, Jess stood back up with grit teeth and reached for the back of the chair with his left hand and leaned on it until he was sure the shoulder released. Chuck began speaking slowly and as he monitored Jess' effort to sit down he eased back into his chair. Chuck didn't pick his coffee cup back up or look away from Jess until he was sure Jess was either fully seated or his pain spasm released whichever came first and decided to talk as an effort to help Jess cover up his pain.

"Men had the roads and paths all cleared away by 7am, Jess….. Don't take long when the stock is cold and hungry. Jr rigged a contraption welding an extension on the blades of an old farmer's v-plow, added an axle and mounted a standing platform just behind the blades, harnesses our two heaviest to pull it. Depending how deep the snow as to how far back from the axle you stand. Clears stuff off the main paths right nicely and sure cuts down on refreezing ruts when you keep all that re-melt snow off the path. Standard procedure here first duty after snow is to clear off the roads, prevents the ruts from even starting due to thaw and refreeze." Chuck advised obviously proud of his son's "invention." He added, "The men fight to see who gets to drive it, generally a quick game of poker or high card cut."

The concept clearly caught Jess' imagination without even seeing it and he frowned looking back at Chuck, even grateful for a change of thought from confusing petticoats and the pain constantly ambushing him. His shoulder muscle released and using the left hand this time he pulled the back of the chair where he could flop. "You know he regraded that embankment where the accident happened. Made a huge difference, especially over clay spots and every last stage driver who's driven through there has mentioned it. Regraded the hill coming down into our valley, too, put banks in the switchbacks helps drainage run off on the same side of the road keeps from cutting gulleys across the road after big rains. Big difference in safety and saves ..on .. the … stage ….brakes, ….too."

Something like a shadow crossed Jess' face and he stammered the end of his sentence suddenly jerking his head and looking at the front door, then he shivered as if a cold blast of air blew through his body. He muttered, "Josie? Here?"

"Maggie,?!" Jess called to her but gravity had just planted his bum in the chair and the thought of trying to stand back up became an instant argument with his legs.

Chuck froze with his next bite halfway to his mouth which slowly sank back to his plate and stared back at Jess who was now diverted looking toward the front door for some reason ….what is Jess looking at now?

"Maggie, wait a sec…. Let me get that." Jess called a little stronger but was too soft and too late and his body was refusing to move.

Maggie reached and opened the door but before she got it completely open a cold, also a frantic female voice started talking fast and Jess instantly recognized the voice and began to force his body to stand back up pulling crudely at the table.

"Excuse me, I'm so sssorry, but is there a Jess Harper or Sl…."

Is all that was heard because with her hand on the door knob, Maggie gasped and her other hand came up to her mouth….

"Sssara?" and she began to faint.

Somehow and unknown to any possible scientific explanation, Jess' body went into flight. Gimp and sore stiffness forgotten he covered the 20 or so feet to the front door in about one nano-second, slid to his calves diving head first across the stone entryway and caught Maggie's head just before it could hit the hard stone floor. Naturally, everyone but Mike who was still stuffing his face, hurried from the table to join Jess at the door. Suffice it to say, Jess was now wide awake, but with the sore shoulder and grouchy right thigh quickly blowing back up in swelling, he couldn't stand much less pick Maggie up and carry her to the sofa. It was everything he could muster just to keep from curling into a ball bug on the floor from the scream of pain his body launched so they remained on the floor which was amazingly warm. Rock hard, but warm. He managed to get his left leg partially folded and the right one was strung out behind him as he cradled Maggie's head and shoulders mostly in his left arm and hand over his left leg.

"Come in, Josie and close the door. It's cold out there." Jess advised as he looked down at Maggie's ashen face and then at Daisy who'd arrived in a dead heat with Chuck and both were leaning over them. Josie closed the door and rubbing her gloved hands together softly muttered,

"Sorry! Of course…been riding a horse from Denver! I….can't feel anything." Her face was definitely flushed with the evidence of cold air and she hurried and closed the door.

Jess didn't even acknowledge her grump as he was trying to be calm worried over Maggie and his body was screaming in pain causing his voice to obviously waver.

"Is this another one of those fainting things, Daisy?" All angst between them had immediately become shelved.

"Check her pulse, Jess." She instructed now in nurse mode as though nothing had been going on between them.

Holding her in his left arm and into his chest using his legs to keep her head and upper body elevated, with his right hand he gingerly felt her neck for the pulse.

"Ya, but it's running like a racehorse, Daisy." Jess' voice was getting higher the more he talked while bent over and unsupported.

"I'm so sorry! What did I do?" Bundled up in outdoor clothes Josie was on her knees on the other side patting Maggie's other wrist and trying to help Jess support Maggie's body putting her arm under Maggie's shoulders next to Jess'.

Chuck was leaning over them and Maggie was encircled by humans. Sarabeth was standing behind Jess and leaning over his shoulder with her legs trying to support his back. She leaned closer seeing Maggie's ashen face.

"Mother!?" She got down on her knees moving around Jess to the top of Maggie's head and was leaning over her face. "Mother!" a note of worry crept in as she felt her mother's cheek.

"It's ok, dear." Daisy cooed. "Your mother just fainted. Lower her head some, Jess, if you can."

"Yes, Ma'am." It leaned him over further stressing all the muscle groups but Jess eased Maggie's upper body lower and color started to return to her face faster.

"Here she comes. Just keep her steady, Jess. Sarabeth, why don't you bring a cool, moist cloth for her face. It'll make her feel better." Daisy was calling the shots.

"Yes, Ma'am" She jumped up to run to the kitchen for a towel and Jess noticed her hair was half up and half down and unaware to Sarabeth, it fully brushed his head and shoulder as she departed and he got a renewed whiff of its fragrance.

"Josie, you'd better back up a little, maybe stand out of sight." Jess advised and Josie obeyed.

Maggie started to come around and began fidgeting to get up.

"What happened!? Why am I on the floor?"

"You fainted, Momma, just lay still." Chuck advised gently, still leaning over them but his hand had reached down brushing the side of her head tenderly. He was a little too aged and being all chest was too top heavy, and his knees were a little too worn from half a century in the stirrups to actually get to his knees on a stone floor. But he was huddled over her just the same and gratefully backing Jess.

Maggie looked up into Jess' face realizing he was holding her and her memory came back.

"Sarah! …I saw Sarah, Jess! You're Momma's here! I know I saw her….right there…. in …the.. morning sun!" She tried to sit up while holding onto Jess' arms and he helped support her to a seated position. She scanned the closed front door and pointed to the empty entry trying to find the person she saw. "She….was right…."

"Easy, Momma." Chuck coached and smiled at Jess, nodded toward Josie who was standing pensively behind him. "Sure looks like her."

Jess' eyes were quite moist from worry and he gave Maggie a side hug and kissed the top of her forehead just as Sarabeth arrived with the cool towel and handed it to Daisy. Daisy redirected her to put it on her mother's forehead. Jess had actually given a few thoughts in wonder and worry what would happen with Maggie when she saw Josie. It was only a matter of time before they met, he had hoped later when things calmed down some. He knew Josie was so much the spitting image of their mother they could have been the physically identical twins that she was not with Jess and Maggie knew their mother when she was at Josie's age when Maggie but had been moved away. Maggie did not have the visual closure of his mother's death so it would be like seeing her the same way as when they'd become separated 25 years ago. The only difference between Josie and their mother was that Josie had been raised with lots of money, pampered and given everything, done many adventures such as horse competitions, a degree in college unheard of for her age. Their mother came from poverty, was sold into a poor marriage loaded with child after child, made due with little to no money and had died in a tragic way. So while they looked identical, there were tattletales of different environments but you had to look closely. Maggie was patting his arm….. wha?

"Get me up, Jess. I'm ok." She patted his arm. Jess looked quickly at Daisy for approval and got a nod. "Everybody's fussin'….phsaw!"

"Just go slow, Maggie. Lean on me." Jess cooed trying to help her to her feet while he was still under her and sitting on his bum. It was an optimistic statement from a cowboy not used to being on the bottom of the pile…..maybe a tad worried he'd be left behind under the pile up. Maggie was in better shape so she was moving faster.

It was unclear who was helping whom get to their feet. Maggie was lithe and a nicely built, quite attractive women in her 50's with not an ounce of fat anywhere. She never talked about it but hands on the ranch and her family knew she walked a path around the ranch every day that was at least 2 miles and was known for her own ability on horseback. She just didn't like getting teased about her east coast English tack. She looked and acted 15 years younger than her age and while her upper body gave indications of motherhood, her waist and hips were trim. She was hanging onto a stiff and sore (broken) cowboy and the age-tendered Chuck grabbed onto Jess to help him out while Sarabeth and Daisy grabbed onto Maggie. It was a group save… looked like the end of a football tackle downfield had football been invented back then. Josie got pushed behind them but was bent forward second in line to help and tugging at her gloves.

"Lean on you! You should be leaning on me, Jess. Don't you dare pull your shoulder on my account!" She admonished very strongly while reaching for his right shoulder trying to isolate it from any movement. Everyone was helping her but Maggie had a strong grip on his shoulder to isolate it while Sarabeth was tugging to pull Jess up by other means than his arm. She just wasn't familiar enough with a male to know where to tug so she never got a good grip.

It was a crowded pack of people all piled pushing and pulling in various directions and once on her feet she began softly brushing hands away, quickly straightened her skirt and reached for Jess' shoulder to help him. He was actually the last person up because his knees were frozen straight and once again his pants could have easily been a plaster cast from the swelling under their tight fit.

"Here's let's get you to sit down at the table." Jess still wouldn't turn loose of her until he had securely deposited her in Slim's vacated chair at the end of the table but he was gimping. In a fatherly manner Chuck was lightly holding onto Jess by the back of his pants waistband and had his other hand only 2 inches away from Jess' waist in case he teetered off balance. Sarabeth pulled the closest chair and secured it directly under Jess' bum butted up to the back of his knees. He sat down with a groan and a thud in front of her as his body began to get through to his brain and reinforce to him…once again… that it was not in perfect working order yet and he was pushing the boundaries of a full muscle rebellion. His shirt tail had become completely untucked and the shirt buttons had pulled loose showing the long undershirt with its buttons loose at the top.

"Maggie, you saw Josie, my twin sister." Jess softly spoke trying to hide the pain and motioned for Josie to come into view in order to get all the handling off of his body. Josie inched her way closer and knelt down on the floor beside the seated Jess facing Maggie seated in Slim's chair and finished pulling her gloves off and her scarf down more off her neck.

Daisy caught Jess' eye and began gesturing with her finger to him that his shirt was still unbuttoned and untucked and he frowned at her, looked at himself to see what she was pointing at and then rolled his eyes but began to button it closed. He'd had other priorities such as trying to keep his hostess from a nasty head concussion or even death by blunt force head trauma on a stone floor (his exaggerated opinion), but… Daisy was correct. He was a guest and was in mixed company and had just been holding the wife of another man and they were in that man's house and he was a single male, and, and, and..dadgum etcetera. He shot her a miffed look, but was grateful she didn't come right out and verbally insult or embarrass his propriety, priorities and protocols. After all there's only so much saving the world one crumpled cowboy and one sorta working hand can do. His right arm was back to useless and the shoulder was screaming shrilly in tones not known to the diatonic scale amazed nobody but his self could hear it….especially over his howling hungry stomach. And he had to sort his self out using a gauze-wrapped left hand and that took some effort and time because the 2 day old gauze was unwrapping itself from the unannounced effort of rescue. Despite the gauze becoming constantly caught in the button holes he got half of them buttoned but the gauze wrapping the hand was in ragged shape and tugging on blisters underneath it. The shirt tail would have to wait and we won't mention the right thigh now screaming under the confined cast of the tight jeans or the grumbling left knee. As if the scruff and crumpled bed-head hair wasn't even considered as he worked on his clothing appearance he introduced everyone looking back and forth between them and the unravelling gauze was trailing behind his hand like the tail on a horse as it gestured to each person.

"Josie this is Maggie Wentworth, Mom's best friend from Texas years. This is Chuck, her husband and Sarabeth, their daughter. Folks, this is my twin sister, Josie Harper Bartlette." Ok, so the order was backwards but give the guy a break.

Josie tentatively reached her hand offering it to Maggie and Maggie began to tear slightly and couldn't take her eyes off of Josie, eagerly took Josie's hands in both of hers, ready to gather in another child to herself. She gently pulled Josie into a polite but very warm hug wanting to engulf her completely but restraining herself.

"Just Josie Harper, Ma'am. Pleased to meet you." Josie's society manners had kicked in and in her mindset, the Denver Bartlette part of her life was a dream long forgotten in her past. She instantly liked Maggie for some reason and the husband and daughter were nice as well.

"My stars! You're an exact copy of her." Tearing but wide eyed she looked quickly to Jess, then to Chuck and back to Josie. "I can't …believe it. Such an exact….. Jess! I… Denver's not all that far from here and we go over there all the time….how could we have never bumped into….?" Her voice trailed off.

"That's a long story, Maggie, and one I'd like to share when we're all together. Josie is my twin but we only met about a year and half ago because our dad put her up for adoption when we were born and nobody knew it."

Just then everyone could hear Slim's spurs as he sauntered back down the hall returning from the bathroom still unloading infection residue crap from his system and all the fluids he consumed the day before. He saw everyone out of place at the dining room and his forehead raised as he got very concerned covering the last few steps very quickly at first thinking something happened to Jess, again. Chuck moved out of blocking his sight line and he saw Josie from the back kneeling next to Jess and saw Maggie's still flushed face. His face was nothing short of deep concern but then everyone turned to look at him because they heard the spurs. At first glimpse of even the back of her head Slim's heart began racing. Josie turned and looked up and her gaze met Slims and time stood still ….again and all sound went muffled in two people's hearing. As though everything was in slow motion, she stood up about the same time Slim arrived in front of her. Their eyes were glassy and wet as emotions were trying to be held in containment and neither one succeeding very well. Slim's hands were still bandaged from the burn blisters and she was bundled in full winter garb but it didn't matter. Slim still towered over her and Josie still had to look up his frame to see his face where she saw his eyes asked a silent question and she softly replied.

"There's nothing out there I need, Slim. I've got all I could ever want right here, if you'll still have me." Her voice was soft and smooth but held a new tone of confidence neither Slim nor Jess had heard before and it sounded so good.

Slim's blue eyes twinkled with a smile and without either one using their hands, he leaned over slowly and their lips met, gently at first, and then he reached down and enfolding her with his forearms lifted her at her waist and she put her arms over his shoulders. Her feet were at least 8 inches off the floor and legs dangling down the front of his body and with eyes closed, they kissed. It started as a soft one but quickly went to genuinely passionate each one drinking deeply for several long moments in no hurry to stop. The actual visible covenants to each other may have occurred several months later in a church ceremony, but right at this moment in time and eternity their spirits merged in commitment to each other just as dynamically as demonstrated in their embrace. For both of them a life time always spent doing for someone else's needs or confined to social expectations, in this moment, simply dissipated into thin air. This time their spirits were convinced beyond all reasonable doubt as to completing each other's being and their spirits in duet reached for what IT wanted for the first time regardless and unhindered by other doubts, expectations, duties and responsibilities. With Josie grabbing over his shoulders it freed one hand and Slim brought it up to the back of her head, his forearm still under her arm, cradling her tightly to his heart. She weighed nothing to him and on this day, in this moment, he could have held her forever. Still in hold kissing suspended in mid-air Slim turned her away from the on looking smiles and covered by his body he walked her several steps back into the darker hallway where he gently pressed her into the wall of the hall his hips fully secured against hers holding her weight. Every inch of his toned body in soft emphasis joined his lips in kissing hers, and she curled into his body just as tightly before they released their lip kiss. Without putting her down, they gazed into each other's eyes and spoke something no one else could hear and Josie wiped Slim's face with the back of her hand and they kissed several times again, just as deeply and sincere, just not as long and it merged into a head to head, neck to neck snuggled hug. I suspect they said "I love you!" at least once but I couldn't hear it… and they deserved a um…. moment of privacy. They were in the hall for some time, one of them sniffed but I couldn't tell who because both their faces were quite moist.

Maggie was surprised but beginning to become delighted and she rubbed Jess lightly on his shoulder. Jess really wasn't looking, he could feel his sister's spirit through his twin empathy and knew they were merging together. Fighting his own misty eyes, unconsciously he rubbed his chest lightly with the underside of his left arm as unknown to his mind his spirit was feeling their hearts fuse into one heartbeat then he smiled back at Maggie and nodded it was ok. Chuck, Daisy and Sarabeth were both looking but not so much as to be outright staring. Daisy's hands were at her mouth and she was weeping in joy. Mike couldn't see around Daisy and with the syrup bottle nearby he was polishing his spoon with his tongue. It was Jess who broke the silence.

"It's ok, Maggie. They have to come up for air eventually." He spoke softly and grinned at her in reassurance that this unexpected event was truly appropriate.

"I trust your judgment." Maggie softly replied and joined in his smile, she leaned forward touching the new swollen goose egg sized bruise on his temple and Jess gently took her hand, brought it down and kissed it. She saw the gauze dangling and captured his hand. He was starting to pull it free when he realized what she was doing as she reached for it and held still as she rewound his hand and tucked the end in securely. She'd fix a new one after breakfast and put his arm back into a wrap to his body.

Chuck caught Sara's eye and motioned for her to get Jess a mug of coffee and she nodded instantly and fixed one with cream and sugar and laid it on the table in front of him. When Maggie finished with his left hand he reached for it and took a good sip, grateful for incoming sugar.

Jess watched as she started work on the gauze but he glanced up at Slim's face just in time to see as they turned back around. Slim had come up for air immediately after hugging Josie's face tightly again. Cheek to cheek HE was gasping for air, his face flushed and his eyelids were rimmed in red and as his eyes closed a tear fell overboard in an overload of emotion he kissed every inch of her face and neck hungry to consume her. Jess had never seen Slim in an emotional release before, and Jess smiled lightly while looking down and fought off tears happy for Slim. In the same breath Jess knew Josie would be safe and secure for her entire life he'd never have to worry about her husband being a proper provider. In his opinion a woman couldn't do better than to have Slim and Slim's wealth may not have been so much in possessions, but he was true and straight as an arrow, solid in his integrity and one of the few one or two people Jess would trust.

For Slim, never in his life had one person reached so far into his soul and heart and set everything inside him on fire, yet so completely balanced his world. Sure there was the mutual hormonal attraction stronger than any other woman had lit, but something about Josie lit up fire in a desire to live, to breathe, a craving to share the life churning deep inside his body with her and create a new world and everything that came with it. The air all around him was suddenly very crisp and clear and he could smell every single microgram of fragrance in the air and hear every twig outside the thick walls of the log house. These new feelings inside were scary but intoxicating worse than whiskey. He wanted to fold around her and hold her inside his body to protect her and at the same time fill her up with the life he felt about to explode from deep within the roots of his roots. The intensity of life that lit him up inside was burning so hard his hips were literally hurting and crazily affecting his eyes with excess moisture he couldn't control. It had never dawned on him that happiness could feel this good, this peaceful, with no nagging analytical questions of 'what ifs' or "is she the right one" or "could he learn to love her." All his soul needed was clearance from her that she was free and available and wanted him….and suddenly the whole world was free to own and he could create anything.

Jess was reading his pard very easily but looked away giving Slim his privacy and knowing in his own heart that his pard had found his purpose for life and was more than thrilled that it had come to Slim through him via his twin. Slim deserved, even was owed something or someone so personally fulfilling to his self. Slim'd done so much for Jess inviting him off the wide open road to destruction, opening his home and teaching him for the first time in his 30 year existence what a true family is and how they properly give and help each other. Jess had never experienced that kind of healthy family-type relationship before meeting Slim and Slim had done it all with a gentle, open hand of loyalty without wanting anything in return but honesty. Finally, a good chunk of future in a personal area was being loaded into someone's life because of a Harper influence, a positive chunk. It was a great day and no one was more deserving than Slim.

Slim slowly and purposefully eased Josie down his body wishing he could rub her all over his bare skin but he set her gently on the floor as though she were a delicate porcelain queen and he held her elbows since she was wobbly again. Truth be told, his body was trembling, too. In a few moments, hand in hand they both wobbled back to the dining room.

Sarabeth raised her eyebrows and looked at Jess and then mouthed the word, "WOW!" Jess gave a side nod and half smile, but a certain look told her she should keep her thoughts quiet and she quickly read him and covered her mouth with her hands in anticipation and eager, wide eyes.

Slim felt he'd waited long enough holding in how he felt about this gorgeous creature who'd stolen his heart months ago and he wasn't going to allow her even one second to get away again. Near the dining room table loaded with witnesses he slowly slipped down on one knee in front of Josie taking her hand.

"Josie Harper, will you marry me?" Slim's face was soft and his blue eyes were moist, but his voice smooth and was steadier than Jess calling out a gunfight. A small smile reappeared on Jess' face lighting his blue eyes up and they quickly shifted to Josie's face. For the first time in their time together Jess was hearing Slim's heart speaking, not his analytical or noble mind, nor was he pondering the 'what if doubts' of the woman in his hands. This was his heart and it was so steady and assured.

"Slim Sherman, it would be an honor to be your wife." Her voice was just above a whisper and tears were overflowing her lower eyelids and she pulled him to his feet. "Please don't kneel to me again, Slim. That is MY place."

As he stood slowly he gathered her around her waist in his huge bear hug lifting her back in the air and they kissed again….. a slightly less captivating, but yet lingering and earnest seal of their decision. Neither one was in a hurry, even seemed to want to draw the moments out long enough they could be remembered for eternity.

Jess actually felt this kiss as a brushed feather touch on his lips and blushed lightly feeling an odd sensation deep inside his core that was not hunger pains. Something about it and this kiss seemed to indicate to his mind what they were feeling would normally be the one opening the honeymoon bed and he turned his head and brushed his lips on his shoulder. Twin empathy or pardner connection he wasn't sure and he was more than happy for both of them. But he also began to sense he wasn't supposed to be that close and they both deserved their privacy.

Slim and Josie eventually seemed to become aware there was an audience and they were trembling and out of breath again, so Slim gently set her down again. Grinning ear to ear and releasing both of Josie's hands he encircled her in a big bear hug and looked over her to Jess who was seated behind her looking at the floor trying to learn this twin empathy and how to control it….maybe being geographically this close seated behind her made a difference? This twin-connection was brand new to him and needed to be identified.

"She's back, Jess, just like you said. And she said 'yes'!" His face was just beaming in a huge smile and his voice was full of exhilarated disbelief and he began floating three feet off the ground for the next week and half. He reached past Josie while still cupping her in his chest and patted Jess' arm.

"Huh?" Jess startled out of his internal contemplation. "Ya, I heard, Hard Rock. Congratulations!" Completely unsurprised Jess smiled and half stood to shake Slim's hand but Slim's acceptance was a little too joyous through the jolt on his shoulder and Jess had to hide a grimace. Chuck butted in just in time seemed to try to pull some of Slim's exuberance off of Jess and took Slim's hand and shook it vigorously with one hand and squeezed his bicep with his other hand giving Slim's energy a better target to squeeze. Grateful, Jess melted back into the chair.

"Congratulations Slim. I can't wait to hear this story!" Chuck began patting Slim's arm. They had an equal strength going between their hand shake. Chuck knew from experience the joy of what Slim was feeling and just how much to match in their grip.

Josie started peeling off her coat and scarfs laying them over the back of Jess' chair and Daisy came in with a teary and motherly face for a congratulatory hug followed by Sarabeth and Maggie. Finally, Josie turned to Jess, he stood and they met together again in their twin-hug and closer to the same height as before they again folded into each other's bends and nooks without space and Josie began to weep in joy. That confused Jess further….petticoats and their water works always messed up his internal radar.

"Congratulations Baby Girl. You got the pick of the litter. Woman can't do any better than Slim." Jess told her quietly in her ear as they hugged. She sniffed a few times pulling in her emotional release and pulled back holding onto his elbows.

"I know, Jess. After finding you, I've never been so sure or so happy about anything and it's all because of you. You've not only given life back to my body but you've put everything in my whole life right side up. I've never felt so happy and so assured of anything. FINALLY, my life is making sense and it's just all falling into place!"

Before Jess could move Josie took his cheeks in her hands and tenderly gave him a sister kiss on his lips. It was a solid kiss not a peck, but it surprised Jess and in delayed response he managed to respond back about half a kiss before she pulled away. He didn't mind, this was her moment of happiness and her right to make the moves.

"I owe you everything, Jess." She drew a laser beam eye contact to his eyes and it was so full of overflowing love Jess was speechless ….and embarrassed. Well, maybe she could take most of the moves and he pulled back a few inches to unhitch the laser contact.

"So Jess, you didn't tell me she was coming." Slim tried to bail Jess out so he nudged Jess' shoulder and it broke up the hug.

"Didn't know until this morning at the stove there." He gingerly gestured waving in the general direction toward the stove and wobbled backing into his chair and sat back down with another thud off of stiff legs. Josie regathered sitting on her knees in front of him with her hands on his knees. He watched her hands in case they started up onto his swollen and screaming thighs…. any women of the female species and his lap were deemed to be on new alert status.

"I saw you grab your chest, thought it was pain from your shoulder. Musta been that adrenaline again, huh?" Slim offered.

"Ya, 'nother one of those anxiety things. Was out cold in the bed 5 minutes before that. So Josie, how come you're here, how'd you find us?"

"I was trying to get back to the ranch in time for Christmas but got snowed in up in Canada, nothing was moving. I wired the ranch and someone name Charlie sent a wire back saying all of you were down here at the Double KBarS and gave directions. So then the train I had to ride south got stuck in Denver with more snow over New Years. I was getting so frustrated…being stuck." She began to get blubbery in tears, "But then I started having these nightmares that I was in a tree and you were caught on fire at the base of the tree and I couldn't get to you. I watched you burn to death and couldn't move my bod….. I thought you were really hurt or dying 'cause the dream kept repeating, so I rented a horse and got over here."

Jess couldn't take her tears and grabbed drawing her into another deep hug but hurting too much to stand up, with her on her knees he drew her between his legs and she peeped again at the quickness of his capture and kept crying hugging his waist with her head in his chest.

"Shhhh, Jose…..it's ok. I'm still here." He cooed from deep in his throat.

She backed up and popped his chest lightly with a side swipe of fingertips and through tears blubbered taking the lapels of his shirt in her fingertips and tugging it.

"You look all banged up again, are you sure you're ok?" She reached up and drew her finger across his bruised eyebrow but he tried to duck at a hand coming up his blind side from the swelling and accidentally her hand hit his eyebrow causing him to wince and grab her hands. Retrieving her hand back, she went for his bandaged left hand to inspect it and he tried to pull it away, too, and they hand wrestled like two kids vying for a toy; the toy being his bandaged hand. Being well compared to his soreness, she succeeded in getting his hand captured and he surrendered the hand while rolling his eyes. But then she started to unwind the fatigued gauze wrap to inspect the injury and he succeeded in pulling it out of her hand. Not to be denied, she recaptured his wrist.

"Let me see or I'll tackle you right down to this floor and unwind it sitting on your chest! I just KNEW you were hurt!" She threatened with a pout, wavering voice and sniffing back fighting tears of angst. Her chin was drawn up like a drawbridge matching his when he did it. "We're the same size you know, twin! I can take you down!" It was a strong, but emotional threat blanketed in tender compassion. He was actually 5" taller, at least 60 pounds and by muscle heavier, but in her mind as twins they were "identical" and "by golly" she could handle him and she was not to be denied inspecting his wounds.

Everyone else was grinning lightly at their sibling antics and Jess took HER hand and held it still because he was getting dizzy. So she looked at his face.

"Ahn't…sst! Just some burn blisters from patting a fire out on a horse's mane. You keep tugging, girl, you could tear them open and I'm back to square one, Sis." His voice coached trying to calm her some and they were forehead to forehead standoff in an inspection vs. covering it up. His wincing and pulling his hand back finally caused her to quit working on taking off the gauze and he took the tail she'd found and wrapped it back up tucking the tail deep into the wrap at his palm. "I'm scheduled for bandage changes after breakfast. You can see it then, ok?" His voice was urgent but tender and while looking up into her face trying to catch her eye contact he pulled his hand close to his chest like it was a favored lollipop he wasn't about to share.

Josie's eyes misted up looking him in the face and then she looked at Maggie who was standing behind Jess' chair. Maggie easily read she was looking for confirmation so she nodded her head with a compassionate smile to Josie confirming Jess' report.

Josie had been in her home maybe five minutes and already Maggie could easily read the complete adoration and dependence Josie had with Jess. Seeing it in Josie quickly made Maggie wonder in her heart if that dependence upon him had been there coming from his mother, too. It was too easy to read seeing how much self-dependence Jess exuded and seeing dependence now in Josie she began to remember and today understand what she saw within the look in Jess' mother whenever the mother was looking at Jess even while he was yet a baby then toddler. She'd seen his mother do that right after he'd been born, just one of those specially gifted individuals whom everyone looks to, watches, adores and who seems to bring the energy to each moment of life no matter what room or event. Tons of memories just flooded back into Maggie's mind of the past watching his mother's unusual and deep attachment to her new baby boy. Even as he grew and at 5 years old she seemed to look to Jess for strength, maybe more correctly, him holding and being her reason to not give up. It caused Maggie a moment of consideration and she frowned slightly as other memories watching the two twins inter connecting exactly repeated back then what had happened between mother and son. It all began making sense to her. Josie had the same glue in dependency with Jess as her source of strength. In the mother, Maggie now realized fully understanding that Jess had become the reason for his mother to continue fighting to live the horrible life they had. Now she understood how the mother had begun pouring everything she had into the little boy in teaching him character and how to think, to look beyond just his self and to evaluate the problems and challenges life threw at him when he was just a toddler. But hers had an urgency not normally seen between a mother and a 5 year old. That would explain why Jess always did seem somewhat ahead of things as he'd reached the toddler stage and that would also explain what had captured Chuck about the young toddler Jess. Somehow it affirmed to Maggie what she'd sensed back then but had no evidence as proof that his mother knew she wouldn't live into old age and it caused Maggie's eyes to mist up and she brought her hands folded in a steeple in front of her lips. His mother had an unusual natural ability to perceive people where Maggie'd watched Chuck had learned to read people. In the mother, several times Maggie had witnessed where it seemed his mom could perceive the future, not so much in detail like prophetically, but in a knowing so she could prepare in advance. Somehow, Jess' mother had pinpointed something special in him, perhaps pouring her own soul into him knowing she wasn't going to be there for him for long so she was working ahead to prepare him for his and to perhaps fulfill the balance of her life alongside his own. Maybe even post-partum continuing to try to pour her strength and spirit into her little son to provide him the 'little extra' she felt he would need in order to survive the life he'd been forced into by being an unplanned baby…. a life they'd both been forced into. It all was just dove-tailing together in Maggie's resurfacing memories having watched mother and son way back then. Oh, it explained so many things. If only his mother could know him now as an adult, how complete and beautifully her efforts and investment had paid off by how Jess had turned out. And 'yes' he did have to survive hard things since- so his mother's preparation not only paid off but it had been vital, perhaps even why Jess had been able to survive and turn out so well. Sure he had imperfections, but that is common to humans and to his lack of age. Maggie had to grab the hanky in her apron pocket and wipe her eyes. Whilst everyone believed it was from Josie's entrance, it was really in comprehending gifts she'd sensed in HER long ago partner and beloved friend, these twins' mother. Major pieces of the mystery was coming to light as memories watching the young Jess and his mother way back then now became interpreted and understood seeing it all over again coming from Josie. By background Josie's similarity just wasn't as polished as their mother who'd already had at least 3 children by Josie's age, thus it was more obvious in Josie. Maggie felt the revelations deep inside her head as truth being confirmed between her hips as real as a baby turning and kicking inside her womb during a pregnancy. She had to lean forward almost halfway over and groaned under her breath then hugging herself to hide it. So many things were becoming so clearly focused. Things she'd felt about Jess and a deep inner personal connection uncommon to anyone else she'd known - except his mother. But until now she hadn't the evidence to prove it – their ma, Sarah, had somehow implanted certain vital parts of herself inside her little boy and those parts just became a part of him. It answered how and why he was able to help her so much just on their first time re-connecting after the buckboard accident – he'd known things deep inside her only the mother would have known and his counsel was so ahead of his physical age. It made sense now why that event when he left on the first visit had so healed the cavern of pain inside her – and knowing this now just further adding to her peace from that treasured event. Nothing had been able to shake or erase that peace since then either. It was like a soft, pleasant wind chime in a light breeze inside her being. Now she was watching Jess who somehow had been miraculously presented his twin and he had just naturally turned his energy busy bringing his twin into health after a failed and wayward adoption. Jess and his mother inside him was completing the birthing of his twin sister in bringing her forward into the knowledge of her true self, her real identity. According to what he'd shared with Dr. Tim he'd even mended Josie's infection at the point of her dying with injections of his own blood that his body had manufactured. As a nurse she knew the mother shares her blood with the baby in the womb giving the child life….just how much closer could a male have experienced the same thing? Maggie was stunned as a small groan escaped from deep in her throat at the same time choking back the release of emotion these dovetailing pieces of information were causing in revelation to her spirit. It took every ounce of discipline Maggie had to keep from just butting in and grabbing Jess in a deep and all-encompassing hug and just needed desperately to hold his body next to her heart and share her revelation. Just for a few moments she could feel their mother, Sarah, her "best pard, friend and sis" nearby and could feel his mother smiling….and crying in happiness… even feeling a compelling urge needing to hug her son through Maggie. Now having these pieces so fit together Maggie realized she could help Jess and through Jess help his mother find all their fulfillment in life. Maggie had found a new purpose and it felt like giving birth all over again.

For a second Jess seemed to go suspended then, stiff as he was and hurting, he tried to look around himself seeking Maggie but she was standing directly behind his chair leaning one hip on the table. She saw him look, slightly shook her head in amazement knowing Jess was feeling something of what was going on inside her. She gently put her left hand on his left shoulder and rubbed it briefly just to let him know she was close. Jess leaned his head sideways with the side of his face captured her hand lifting her palm to the side of his face with his left shoulder in acknowledgement of her contact. She patted his face just lightly and softly stroked down his sideburn with the back of her finger and then retrieved her hand – he had enough on his plate to take care of right now.

Chuck didn't know exactly what was going on behind his wife's misty eyes, but something deep was happening and he walked around the pool of people and standing at her back enveloped her in his own bear hug wanting to strengthen her….whatever she was dealing with. She patted his muscled forearm and kissed it and Chuck kissed the back of her head….he hoped to find out later when things were quiet, well no, he would definitely check with her later. He knew later was better after her mind had a chance to sort through what she was experiencing and get it translated into word containers for him. But he was going to find out because she was glowing just like she did when holding each of her babies for the first time.

Slim stepped forward and put his hands on Josie shoulders to gently pull her back off of Jess who was cramped back tightly into his chair with his forearms projected into his lap to fend off any further accidental advancements or a repeat of the prior evening. Josie was simply too close to the painful and swollen thighs and moving way too fast for a sore cowboy barely out of bed and starving for food. But Josie refused to move with his hands and stayed glued to Jess' knees.

"His right shoulder's broke and his thighs are tore up, too, Josie…be careful." Slim continued softly offering to Jess, "Looks like you two's twin empathy works both ways."

"Ya. Reckon so." Jess confirmed. "Barn on the ranch next door burned down couple days ago, Josie. The owner and his daughter were killed in the fire. Slim and me got bounced around some."

As Jess spoke she gently reached to touch the front of his right shoulder still fighting tears and then leaned over and kissed each knee. Seeing reality proving her own empathy that somehow knew he was hurt was sinking into her soul. She mumbled repeating,

"I just KNEW you were hurt…. KNEW it!… 'at's why I just HAD to get home for Christmas!" She blurted out while she looked back up into his face with a wayward tear falling off her cheek. "…even if I had to WALK the whole way!"

Maggie frowned – another shadow of the mother repeating? Could Josie have that foreknowing gift her mother had?

Josie continued, "Then why was I in a tree watching you die!" She blurted out emotionally seeming to have forgotten being a guest in a stranger's house.

Jess could see his own buried emotions flash across the mirror of Josie's eyes causing her pain in confusion because she didn't know his story. He gulped and opened his mouth but couldn't answer. Slim came to his rescue, squatting behind Josie's hips and rubbed her back softly,

"Your dream sounds like what Jess experienced when your mother passed away, Josie. It just got all mixed up between you two. The daughter that just died in the barn yesterday looked similar to your Ma and she was burned alive like your mother died. It was Jess who found her and carried her out."

"Oh, Jess!" Nearly sobbing Josie grabbed Jess' face and kissed it again nearly pulling him off the chair. Her emotional state was causing her contact with him to be a little rough, and he was wobbly anyway from hunger and injured parts. "So you've been having nightmares, then, reliving Mom's and you were the one in the tree?"

Jess nodded ever so slightly with a sheepish grin and this time Josie leaned up and grabbed him tightly around his neck in her own rambunctious style of wrap around twin-hug nearly choking him. He gasped out loud and tugged at her pulling her arms loose so he could breathe and she backed up but took his face in her hands and stared into his eyes in deep concerned compassion. He could handle her emotional laser beam for only a moment and looking away he took the back of her neck in his left hand and kissed her forehead. When he finished she sat gently back on her heels and dropped her head sideways onto his lap very lightly fingered his right thigh. She just happened to finger the bottom end of the closed groove gash and Jess' mouth tugged at the corner in a light grimace hoping she wouldn't touch harder…or move higher up his thigh. Slim was watching and reading Jess' face and started to lean forward to pull her off but Jess lightly shook his head 'no' and Slim let them be. He understood from Jess she'd found answers Jess was telling him she was finally finished thrashing around. She did seem quieted having received answers and being nestled up to him, at least in contact with his knees. She wrapped her arms around his calves leaning her head lightly on the edge of his knees and sniffed several times. Jess put his left hand on top her head rubbing the top of her head lightly with his thumb letting her soak in her answers having physically "captured" him and he felt much like a lassoed steer.

Slim was close enough to see both of them having re-connected and settled into their special bond. He noticed Jess' eyes were fighting mistiness unfamiliar with actually having someone of his birth family express such concerns and furthermore, to push to discover him in less than optimum working order. Jess was in unfamiliar territory and it stopped him unknowing how to proceed. And once again Slim noticed the calming effect on Josie with her physical contact with Jess' body, like being plugged into her source of strength and identity. In Slim's mind, seeing that was more than precious and was special, and he was thrilled to see that deep of a connection in love happen to Jess. He'd sensed for quite a long time Jess' love needed to be needed and apart from his mother, long gone, and sister Francie forever off in her own world, Jess never received that connection of a deep level of family love. It had always seemed to draw a sense of being an orphan exuding from Jess' inner being. Slim dropped one knee to balance his squat and continued to drizzle his finger along Josie's back for a few moments then stood up slowly giving them the space and time they needed.

Seeing Josie settle into Jess' body and become peaceful didn't escape Maggie's notice either even confirming her new revelations how Jess seemed to be the source for Josie, as his mother had been for him. In a matter of a few moments of time right there in the big middle of her kitchen Jess had somehow managed to capture a squirming and squalling youngster who'd come running into the house all in turmoil and quieten Josie just as sure as a mother taking a rambunctious baby fussing a squall and putting that baby up to suckle connecting to his heart. Mostly it happened when baby sister's body was in contact with Jess' body and near his heartbeat….another motherly experience for Jess – or Jess unknowingly interceding on behalf of his mother for the lost twin ripped from them at birth. Maggie just shook her head ever so slightly…. she knew she'd captured the truth and her brimming blue eyes were threatening another overflow, no, they overflowed and she couldn't stop it. Could a male ever be so blessed to experience and feel the things a mother's body does imparting life and providing nurture? Jess had done so with his twin. What would happen inside Jess should he ever come into this enlightenment of continuing his ma's purpose where she couldn't, where she knew she wouldn't make it to finish her work? Maggie's eyes squeezed closed and tears flowed over her cheeks and she captured them in her hanky….then quickly pulled herself back in to control.

Chuck and Sarabeth were slightly amused at Josie's zealous familiarity with her twin's body and looked quizzically at them and Slim offered making a light gesture at the twins finally quieted before him;

"Had a buddy in the war was a twin with a sister. They had some sort of twin-type empathy. They feel and sense things each other are experiencing that's not explainable in their own body." He gestured to Jess and Josie, "Jess and Josie seem to have the same thing, they're just a little new to the whole thing and still discovering how it works. Apparently they both grew up feeling someone next to them but not rightly discovering each other confirming that connection until about a year ago. The story of how they even came together is quite a miracle, they just have a lot of catching up to do. "

"Is that right?" Having released his hug of Maggie and just standing slightly behind and beside her Chuck mused stroking his chin.

"How fascinating. I've heard that happens with twins, but I've never met any." Maggie offered fully entranced and wanting more information about this new twist. As could be expected, her mind was now fully in gear ready to discover more about this aspect of the twins plus their connection with their mother – her past pard.

"They feel everything?" Sarabeth asked suddenly in an almost little girl voice and hugged herself self-consciously.

"Ya, Jess, that's what I want to know. Just how much do you feel?" Slim needed to know at this juncture if Jess could feel Josie's body respond to his. "Did you feel me and Josie just now?"

Jess coyly smiled at Slim, figuring in his head quickly just how much control he wanted to bluff.

"Jess…." Slim was frowning and not wanting to give Jess time to plot.

Jess maintained a soft stroking of Josie's head and looking at her. "All right! It's an imperfect system. Distance seems to make a difference, and…. it's more of a sensation of feeling the emotion of it rather than the actual contact. There! Are you happy?"

He looked at Slim. He knew the empathy was more, well on his side even lots of times physical, but he wasn't about to tell anyone he could feel something a woman feels or what he thought might be. He wasn't a woman and ain't about to admit he was feeling strange sensations in parts of his body that he couldn't explain as a male and unconvinced they were female sensations to boot. They were just new to him and he was sticking to that story. It also gave Maggie a sense of just how much Jess understood what was going on inside him….he wasn't fully there yet.

"Whew!" it was Sarabeth that answered but Slim's whole body relaxed.

"Are you hungry Josie?... 'cause the room is spinning for me." Quickly changing the subject Jess complained softly very low on energy. He gave Sarabeth an odd look as though she still needed to keep her mouth closed and not go beyond the "Whew" and she blushed. Josie slowly lifted her head and looked deeply into Jess' face.

"Actually, I am, Jess, I guess trying to arrange transportation from Denver I haven't eaten since….. well… must have been noon yesterday. But I just knew I had to get to you come hell or high water! Show me where the kitchen is…I'll help. Would Mrs. Wentworth allow me use of her kitchen to cook you a breakfast?" Josie stood up decidedly ready to nurse Jess back to health. She picked up and quickly pitched her coat and things off into the living room on the other side of the entryway like she lived there, then unceremoniously like a tomboy hauled her boots off and dropped them in the boot tray by the door and came back at a half jog in her socked feet and rolled her sleeves up. Maggie smiled and looked at Jess then back to Josie almost giddy at seeing how closely Josie's mannerisms & instant comfortableness in her home would have matched their mother. Maggie then looked at Chuck who'd noticed too and he winked at her.

"It's already prepared, Sar…Josie. Come, sit down. As I thought Jess was due to be quite hungry this morning and have enough put back for 3 people and can always fix more. Pull up some chairs fellas, I will bring plates for both of you." Maggie instructed and Chuck headed for his chair picking up his coffee mug as he sat down.

Jess stood up slowly hanging onto the chair but looking for and seemed focused on finding Maggie before she moved away and out of the corner of her eye Maggie saw his turn toward her. She hesitated her departure for the stove and looked him back in the face and smiled softly. With his head slightly tilted Jess semi-squinted at her with almost a playful twist of his lips headed for a small smile and his eyebrow was furrowed up, it was a mild question with the lifted eyebrow. He'd felt something pleasant or positive had happened at his back and was seeking. Sensing things through his pores on a 360 degree field is a life survival skill required of a gunfighter, or something else tugged at him, he wasn't sure which. He'd felt something full of life hovering at his back….the hurt shoulder was quite sensitive to energy levels. Maggie stepped forward toward his body and reached up to kiss the dimple in his chin which he didn't flinch from and then he encircled her with a Jess-hug with his head tucked near her ear. She eagerly accept nestling close into his body with the side of her face buried in his chest next to his heart which she could both hear and feel and she was leaking tears as they hugged for several moments. Then he kissed under her ear and rubbed her back lightly with his left hand that had been hugging her. Nothing verbal was said, but their spirits bonded in an unspoken communication. She was able to hug him in tight and close and she added a good amount of strength in her capture – desperately needing to hold and hug him. He had sensed she had something to give him, not knowing what, so he easily accepted her tightness and length of hold until she was ready to release him. Her hold was a tight, firm hug but not crushing and he held her firm with his heart open…she needed something. She didn't stay as long as she wanted which would have been for eternity or in lieu of then for hours or until he drifted to sleep as would a baby in her arms, but she got the pressure topped off, sniffed softly and released him slowly. They exchanged eye contact for a few loaded moments then she smiled, patted the sides of his waist lightly. He leaned down and gave her a peck on the corner of her mouth which she easily accepted and returned the same to his and then they looked deeply into each other's eyes. Then she turned and went to her stove to gather his nutrition and sustenance he was desperately needing. He was too old to breast feed so she fell back and used her other "feeding assets" - her kitchen. With his open left hand resting lightly on his tummy where she (her real assets) had been the tightest Jess sensed something significant had been happening with Maggie as he had dealt with Josie's distress but his mind had not quite interpreted it yet. He watched her depart for a second or so and for those few moments for the first time in days there was no pain in his eyes that were lit with curiosity. They quickly brimmed full almost overflowing sensing something tremendously good had happened and he watched her humming under her breath as she dug into her stove and began pulling hot steaming food from its bowels. He sensed it was related to Josie but not in her appearance…but his stomach growled. So giving into the need to get food into his body someway, he turned to readjust the position of his chair so he could get back on his bum, off his legs and find a fork….or a shovel whichever he could lay his hands on first; maybe start in eating from the sugar bowl…..or anything not nailed down.

"I'll help, Mother." Sarabeth piped and joined her mother at the stove whispered in her ear, "She's gorgeous, Mother. Jess' mother looked like her?"

"Spitting image, dear. Put them in the same room, you could not tell them apart." Maggie did a double take in delay realizing what she'd just said and smiled to herself.

Everyone retook their seats and Slim reached for the extra chair nearby and barely put it around the corner from his and held it for Josie. He wasn't wanting her to get too far away. Josie diverted seeing Jess gimping to get his chair repositioned at the table. With the chair lined up Jess quickly rechecked his clothing to straighten out buttons and wrinkles clearing the pathway to his mouth and to ward off any more confrontation with the Daisy-fashion and protocol patrol. From behind him Josie pitched in shoving the back of his shirt tail smoothing it down the rear of his pants at the right side of his hips where it had never made it yet. Not only was that a tight fit with her hand but it startled him and he jerked away unused to having females putting hands down the back of his britches. He turned only to find her holding his chair for him to sit down with an innocent look on her face and her version of the arched eyebrow. He paused for a second giving her a warry look, with his face distraught with being handled, pulled the shirt tail looser releasing the bind on the shoulder then eased into the held chair. Once seated she gently hugged him from behind at his neck, kissed the top of his head and whispered something in his ear. That brought a small smile to his face and he patted her folded hands over his chest with the gauze tail coming loose again and she successfully grabbed the hand and tucked the tail in more securely, kissed the top of his ear and then took her seat between Slim and Jess.

From holding the food inside the oven keeping it steamed Maggie brought their piping hot food to the table and Sarabeth snuck a small teacup with a couple tablespoons of the hot simmering apple pie filling. She poured a tablespoon of cream into it as camouflage and put it onto the table in front of Jess as she slid into her chair next to him on the other side and smiled giving him a flirty wink. He started to drink it, but then recognized it, smiled back at her then chucked it into his mouth as though drinking coffee then sucked on it until it melted. With his eyes closed he groaned in delight as he swallowed. Just loud enough she could hear him whisper.

"Ok….life is returning to my body…."

As he picked up his fork to eat the breakfast Maggie set in front of him he offered a little louder,

"Beautiful hair this morning, Sarabeth. Even prettier in the morning light."

"Thank you, Jess. Forgot how wonderful it feels all loose and flowy. It's free." She flipped the end with her fingertips and then pushed it behind her back and cuffed the front feathers behind her ear on the side closest to him. Then she refilled Jess' coffee mug from the pitcher.

Daisy decided to check on her bubbling brew and turned the heat down re-covering it with a lid. She was satisfied it was safe….for now. She hated calling Jess down like that, but the four of them had been eating and sleeping in their guest's house for over 2 weeks and Jess put down quite a bit of that food. He needed to realize some control over a return thank you effort…..oh..no! …he didn't know she was doing the dinner. ….well, she decided if he was good all day, he'd get a bigger piece than usual.

Josie and Jess were both quite hungry but Josie was puzzled about the salsa in a bowl on the side of her plate, so with her mouth half empty she raised the container and circled her plate wondering where it fit.

"Would someone enlighten me about this curious looking delicacy?"

Jess was also speaking with a half full mouth, both of them eating left handed.

" 'At's called salsa, Jose. Put it all over anything. It's great. Haven't had any this good since Texas."

"That's because it's from Mexican recipes. It has tomatoes, onions and peppers in it. Try some on your eggs." Maggie offered. "Your mother taught me about salsa and our cook, Ada, makes a great recipe. Her family was from Mexico."

"Tomatoes on eggs? Ok." Josie piled a sample on a bite of eggs and scooped it into her mouth.

"Wow! That's …" she swallowed because of the extra juices…. "…amazing! Never tasted anything so good!" She dumped the rest of the bowl burying her eggs and plowed in like a wrangler coming in off a full day in a cattle drive.

"Well, I can certainly tell she's got Texican in her, heh, Momma?" Chuck chimed in reaching to refill his coffee cup from the silver pitcher on the table. Slim passed his empty cup down through Jess' side of the table for a refill and Maggie saw it coming and carried it back to him filling it full.

Jess was smiling and pointed his fork at Josie. "Harper!"

Not to be outdone Slim added with a smile. "Soon to be Sherman."

"Another merger!" Chuck chimed in raising his cup in a toast and everyone matched.

Jess and Josie finished the held back food which was enough for three people and each had an extra slice of homemade bread. ….which Jess naturally buried in peach preserves. Josie apparently has Jess' metabolic system because although she eats like a lady, she can put away her share of food when she's running behind and still not gain weight either. Even though her hands were whole and outpaced Jess' eating speed, she normally eats faster than he does and she had finished ahead of him so he didn't offer any peach preserves. As Maggie began taking the service plates off the table to do dishes, without a pause in chewing Jess motioned to her to empty them on his plate. So he managed to actually clean up the cold remainders of what was in the service plates, too. He was one very hungry cowboy and he may have taken a wee bit longer to finish but he cleaned up every crumb. Well, he had a little help from Sash.

CHAPTER 8: Knitting Deals.

Later that afternoon Daisy had Mike working at the kitchen nook on one of Maggie's old school books while she was directing the supper preparations with Ada's help. It was her idea to ramrod the dinner and cooking as appreciation for the hospitality and she was going all out after having a treat of a lifetime picking the choice of meat from Maggie's ice house. Daisy selected a huge end cut rump roast which she slow cooked to be added to mashed potatoes and gravy topped later with apple pie.

True to her word after breakfast Slim and Jess were escorted back to their bedrooms where Maggie, Sarabeth, Josie and Sasha zeroed in on changing both Slim and Jess' bandaging, Slim's calf was given its final clean and wrap but Jess drew the line taking care of his own thighs. He let Maggie re-wrap the shoulder and they saw the new bruise on his lower ribcage. Josie was busy inspecting every inch she could get sight of from his waist up while fighting tears still realizing she had been experiencing empathy pains.

With everyone off schedule in eating, Maggie and Ada had prepared some finger snack foods, sliced cheeses, veggies, olives, apples and peaches from the cellar, an assortment of freshly baked cookies and pulled left over cooked meats for quick sandwiches for piecing and left them out on the kitchen island. The coffee pot was always ready on the stove. After dozing off into a post-brunch nap somehow in spite of the huge late breakfast, once he woke up again Jess seemed to be the main nibbler with a constant mug of hot coffee and he took two of every flavor of cookies. Two perfectly created very tall apple pies were cooling on the kitchen island but Jess ignored them even though Daisy was filtering in and out of the kitchen. He was part miffed at the embarrassment by Daisy cutting him off in front of their hosts that he'd brought into the scene and opened up to the Sherman household. He was also quite full from having eaten the huge late breakfast and then pieced all afternoon on fresh recipes of delicacies plus somehow the fresh fruit Maggie had pulled out of nowhere. But he wasn't going to admit that part to anyone, 'sides he got Daisy's cooking everyday back at the ranch.

During the sunny afternoon Slim and Josie had bundled up and gone for a buggy ride so Slim could show off both ranches and bring Josie up to date, but just as much so they could be alone together. Unknown to anyone where, and nobody was even snooping, they disappeared somewhere on Chuck's ranch for some time prior to showing up at Elroy's to meet with his foreman for that tour. They were last seen asking where Buck was stabled and that particular male-horse barn had a plump cozy and full hay loft. Being a fresh snow day with all chores done early the hands had turned in to the bunkhouse for poker. It was supposed to be kept a secret but a very tall blond rancher from Laramie and his new fiancé spent a good hour tucked deep into the layers of clean fresh hay loft and some horse blankets where giggles and low voices were heard.

After his noon nap, getting fully dressed out for the day and a fresh graze at the island of finger food snacks filling a plateful of explorations, Jess meandered toward voices complete with fresh hot coffee. He found Sarabeth, Maggie and Chuck settled in the living room where Chuck had a picture worthy fire going in the fireplace. Jess had set the full mug of coffee and a plateful of finger snacks within easy reach that he nibbled on through the afternoon. Not to be argued with, Maggie had captured Jess by the sleeve helping him finish carrying his bounty of a mounded up plate load into the living room and herded him back to the sofa, backed him up to the sofa and steadied him as he tried to sit down with some composure making sure his stash of snacks was within easy reach. Barely bum-landed, she put his leg back up on the coffee table and pulled the boot off. He saw she had already carried in the hot water bag and offered no resistance, even offered to take the bag from her hand to help but she nudged him off and kept herding him and he quickly obeyed. The thigh injuries didn't need cleaning because the skin wasn't broken but he wasn't about to turn down the heat therapy. She re-bundled his right thigh in its own hot water therapy which once again took all the starch out of his body and he ended up sprawled on the sofa like a spread out bear rug again. Somehow Maggie knew the exact temperature to fix in the hot water and it just simply unplugged Jess' brain. The right leg was straight on the coffee table with one hot bag on the thigh but wrapped stem to stern, the left knee was bent slightly and only half straight with another hot bag bundled and it was stretched under the coffee table because Jess absolutely refused to have both feet up. His thought processes slowed considerably from the moment the hot compresses were placed and wrapped, and only picked back up in speed as the heat gradually dissipated. Satisfied with her patient's automatic melting under a two burner hot compress and leaning back into the shoulder afghan, Maggie took her post sitting under Chuck's arm tatting away on her new project which was a large table cloth for the sofa table. Maggie never sat with folded hands. She was always busy crafting something or other. Sarabeth had picked her knitting back up and was snuggled back under Jess' left shoulder while his right one was tucked back into the afghan wrap holding up his head. She had wrapped some scrap yarn around the broken part of the basket holding it back together, but it looked pathetically patched. In between munchies Jess had been explaining the story of how Josie came into his life and what they'd been through (See "The Inheritance") but he kept being slightly distracted still watching the knitting process and began to offer a color pattern suggestion in between questions and answers, sometimes pointing with a stalk of vegetable or the apple he was knawing off its core. The top half of Sarabeth's hair was pulled back and tied down and the bottom half was hanging in loose waves cascading down her back. While seated, she had pulled her hair around to the front so she wasn't sitting on it. Jess was still having difficulty keeping his hands out of it, in between tidbits stuffing his mouth he was fingering it as he talked. Sasha was snuggled on the other side tightly between Jess and the sofa with her feet neatly tucked between his leg and her body staying toasty warm. Chuck was nursing an early shot of bourbon.

Jess had picked up a light blue colored yarn ball and tied a slip knot in the end and while Sarabeth had changed over from the cream and gone several rows in the peach, he was coaching her to do the 1st 3 and last 3 stitches of each row in the blue making a border. She did it and had gone several more rows when he started reaching into her flying needles and looping the blue yarn adding a loop every other stitch. At first she was clueless what he was attempting, but playing along figuring she'd have to clean up the project later and pull those stitches out when he wasn't around and to compensate for him adding one, she'd loop the next two together keeping the stitch count the same. They got to the end of the first row of stitches and Chuck asked a question diverting Jess's looping and she quickly knitted a row across the piece back in the peach while he was answering.

"That's a heck of a lot of money in any inheritance trust fund, Jess. But money needs to work for you and not just collect dust in a vault. Do you have a plan?" Chuck asked.

"Well, she had a two generation estate of her adopted parents, her husband's estate was also two-generation plus the one she was building with her husband was dumped into her life all sudden like. Just within 4 months she was married, her husband was called up for duty the second day of their honeymoon, her parents died, then his parents in a separate accident and he was killed in action within a month and then she miscarried and became infected in the blood transfusion. Even with the college they gave her, that's a lot to expect of a young woman to handle on her own when her entire life had been directed by other people. She even admitted she wasn't prepared for estate deecisions like that. I was going to just gift it back to Josie if and when she married and then Slim came into the picture of her life and I thought even better so she'd have something to bring to their marriage."

"Like a dowry?" Maggie chimed in.

"Right, but that just returned the problem back into her lap and that's bothered me."

"What did Slim say?"

"Didn't bring it up. Didn't want the money to be part of any deecision so's it wouldn't come back on Slim he was marrying her for money. I know Slim and money. He respects it but it doesn't own him and people know that about him, but he didn't need any openings for people to gossip down the road in his future neither."

"Hey! That's kinda pretty." Sarabeth interrupted looking at the finished row of solid peach following the blue dots. She held it up so Jess could see it.

"There you go. Now do three rows of solid blue." Jess coached.

"Why 3? Three stitches at beginning and end AND rows?"

"Odd numbers are harder to count than even ones, tricks the eye. You ever play poker?"

"No." A playful annoyed tone and she focused back into the next row. Maggie smiled and kept tatting.

"So have you decided anything yet?" Chuck asked, added to a dash of curiosity and potential snooping.

"Well….been thinking about what's going to happen to Elroy's ranch but I knew this was a tough time for you and busy with his estate matters. Still not sure this timing is appropriate so stop me if you're uncomfortable. If nobody is at the lead, or if you and Jr step in, that stretches you all pretty thin for this ranch and what Jr's building, plus the new "high 20"."

"I hear that." Chuck offered a smile finding its way to his lips and a twinkle igniting in hope.

"Don't know what his ranch is worth, thought I'd check with you if you're even interested. I think there's enough in the estate money to buy the ranch. To keep it clean, considered buying it myself, then deeding it in both their names as a wedding gift, dowry AND as investment move, maybe have some of the fund left for rebuilding a better barn. And depending on figures even pay off the 'high 20'. I've tried to walk around this idea from all angles, Chuck. It would add to Slim's holdings along with expanding the Sherman Ranch and is closest by location to his, I mean ours. It'd give Andy a better option to run the original homestead in its beef production on the railroad side of the business. He'd grow into his own as a business man since he's due to graduate in about a year with a degree in business and animal husbandry. He's telling Slim he's tired of the wide open and just wants to come back to the security of a home life." Jess lightly gestured over his shoulder in the direction where Mike was studying. "Mike needs something to grow into now, too, been asking tons of questions about railroads. He and Andy could pardner up like Slim and me….both of them are good people, about 7 years apart but potential's there."

"Andy would run the fulfillment with Mike." Chuck piped in. Jess wasn't sure he understood that meaning and frowned lightly but kept talking.

"Josie'd have her dowry and an ownership carrying forward her estates. Slim's always been great with horses and he'd be a natural for a horse business. I know Slim's just as much a horse man as a cattle one and definitely has the experience to run a ranch that size, even being held back from his potential with the stage business. He won't admit it but the last 5 years I've seen him running at a management level with the stage business, it's just not expanding so he can promote up, I mean, they promote his title but never pay him more. So he's being held back. He deserves that chance to manage his own business. Josie's a horse woman, too. She's got one of the best seats I've seen in a woman rider and has competed in Equestrian events in Denver's society. I realize it's another long term type goal, maybe developing Slim's holdings over the 3-5 year area, but a man's got to start growing his business sometime before he gets too old. At the funeral, the hands sure seemed interested in him as to maybe being agreeable accepting him as their new boss. He might even need a foreman to help him fine tune the horse business and need me." He took in a breath.. "And just as important, it would give you some cash to handle all the expenses you're shoveling out getting this new "high 20" pasture expansion up and running. With Josie's deecision to settling down here, we can begin to, if not actually pay off the "high 20" depending on where the numbers fall."

Chuck was grinning and rubbing his chin. Jess glanced up from watching SB's 3rd row being completed to check Chuck's face.

"Sounds like you put a whole lot of thought on this one."

"Just so much sleep a guy can take, so my head's been working on this between dream….um…sleep. How can I get you to come in on this deal with me?" Jess smiled coyly repeating Chuck's sentence back when they had decided to partner with Chuck on their first meeting. Chuck instantly recognized his own selling tactic and a huge smile lit up his face.

"You play a neat game of poker, Jess. Proud of you, son."

"Why's that?"

"Had the idea in mind myself getting you and Slim into that property, be kinda of a dream for me, but figured from how you two played the "high 2o" you didn't have the capital to make such a huge move for Elroy's ranch and had to scrap my dream. Didn't know about the estate money."

"Well when the 'high 20' came up I was waiting for Josie to come back off the drift to decide how to invest her estate money. If she came back to stay, like she has, I had some wiggle, but if she came back to leave I'd hafta let it go with her. So it wasn't mine to use on the 'high 20'. I don't put money on a hand that's not mine or I can't cover on a short run."

"Perfectly understandable and upstanding. What do you think is a fair price for that ranch?" Chuck asked.

"Well, I'm behind the cards on that because I've waited for a few days to pass before asking the details of the size and extent of Elroy's holdings. I wasn't wanting to push, seeing how much Elroy meant to you and it just happening and all. Other than the fire and the entry of the house where I picked Sasha up I haven't even seen the place so you'll have to fill me in on the details and what the fair value would be."

Sarabeth sat forward all excited looking at her developing scarf.

"Look, Mother! Isn't it pretty!" but she held it up more at an angle Jess could see it.

"Yes, Dear. Very. I'm impressed, Jess."

"Hey, she's doing all the work." He waved at Sarabeth who'd nestled back under his arm.

"I like the deal, Jess, very much. I'm in. We'll have a sit and go over the specs before you leave. Elroy's ranch is almost as big as this one and I know roughly what it's worth. But you've got two sets of old Denver money and that should well cover the ranch and leave you some. " Chuck smiled at the two on the other sofa amazed watching Jess' mind multi-task at opposite ends of the spectrum. He was even more thrilled at Jess' concept and most of all having the best option in a new neighbor.

"One condition and this means for everyone." Jess got serious and nudged Sarabeth's shoulder.

"Anything." Chuck was not anxious. Jess' conditions were good.

"I'd like the gift of the property to be a complete surprise to both Slim and Josie. Maybe hand them the paid deed on their wedding day or something close to that. Not even the hands to know."

"We can do that, Jess. Right Momma? Sis?"

"Right, Poppa." Maggie was smiling to herself but still tatting away. She had thought all of Jess' earlier questions would have been him considering moving into Elroy's ranch somehow, but that was beyond her dreams too, that he could afford it. Even finding out about the estate money could have moved him into Elroy's ranch, his deecision to not spend estate money which was not his to own made her even more happy at his integrity. Somehow, she wanted him physically attached to her family but at least this way it was one step closer than him living in Laramie.

"Huh?" Sarabeth hadn't really been paying attention and was focused on counting her stitches.

"How soon do you think they will tie the knot?" Maggie asked.

"It'll be fast I reckon. Near spring or before. I know you have to wait for the Will to be officially opened before you can legally commit to anything and I'd be willing to let you call the timing to lock this down what's comfortable with you. I don't know anything about doing business involving estate closures and don't want to put any pressure on you. Josie's attorney had her estate all done when we met and I can hold the estate money as long as needed. When you're ready to move on it, Chuck, you can just have your lawyer send me a package of the papers to sign after Elroy's paperwork is complete, maybe wrap it in some oil business paperwork I need to look through. I don't want to push whatever you'd be comfortable doing, but that's prime property. Since I now know where Josie's headed and if you needed to move on it for financial reasons, I wanted to get in the head of the line. To keep it a surprise I think it best you to stay on as on- site executor until he can move down and take it over."

"That's quite considerate, Jess, thank you. I'll take care of you. So far, I've noticed some inquiring looks from my cattle association but nobody's approached me. I know a couple of them would be interested but I'd have to divide the property in pieces for any of them to afford it and I just don't have the heart to divide what Elroy worked so hard to build. It cuts down the overall value to divide it. I don't mind being the executor, can oversee a whole lot easier than I can handle the entire package."

"Now do 3 rows of peach, a 4th with blue dots, 3 rows peach, then 3 rows blue….don't forget the blue edges. Repeat the color pattern." Jess tapped the scarf.

"I get it. So pretty Jess! I can't wait to see the final piece." She was thrilled.

"It'll give you something to do on the train ride back to college." Jess went to his next topic.

She started another row without missing a beat.

"Oh, I'm not going back, Jess." She missed a stitch and had to pull out the start of the new row and restart it, still not stopping or hesitating.

"What!" Chuck bellowed. "Not going back." It was obvious Maggie had not brought him up to date.

"We haven't had our talk yet, Jess." Maggie quietly coached.

"Oh. Sorry." Jess paused for a second. "Well. She's going back to finish college. Just at the end, right, gradgiate this spring?" Jess stated.

Sarabeth put the scarf down in her lap with a mild huff and turned to him slightly.

"I said I'm done with college. With Kensie gone my life back there is over. I'm ready to start on the rest of my life here.." She pointed the free knitting needle at Jess without actually saying, "with you."

Maggie looked sad and briefly put her hand over her eyes knowing how Chuck and Sara could sometimes get into a "headstrong conversation." As a second born child she was known to be competitive in challenging things, especially in the brain department which made her an honor student in schools. Chuck was ready to start in on his daughter but saw a flicker in Jess' eyes that captured him and he hesitated. Here was a test to see if Jess could handle his head-strong daughter and a pre-qualification to his ability to handle any uh..hem.. relationship such as marriage issues… so he sat back to watch.

Jess took the needle tip gingerly with the tip of the index finger of his bandaged left hand and redirected it away from his chest as though he was re-directing a gun away from him. It was an automatic move, he wasn't really afraid she'd harm him. He just didn't like pointed objects pushed in his chest. As he slowly moved it he spoke.

"Does your um "life here" include quitting before the job's done, dishonoring your folks, AND trashing a ton of money? How does that speak for the type of person you want to be in your new life?" He asked softly but his full attention shifted to the lady nearly in his lap.

In Jess' mind, in the parallel mode, he had nabbed the young filly with his lariat from the corral and was facing some ground work on a green horse. He was doing foundation work on her thoughts and then seeing how she would respond to a gentle hand holding the truth. So far, she had stood still for his braiding work on her mane, plus followed his suggestions on the knitting colors so he had successfully engaged the mind. Now it was time for a bigger lesson on will power in the face of truth or the parallel, a bit in the mouth and who is in charge. He wasn't planning it to run this way, but watching things unfold, more and more of it seemed to fit the example Maggie had explained using picture examples that were really more in his line of thoughts…he could understand horses, green and unbroken lots better than trying to figure out petticoats.

Maggie's tatting progress began to slow down and she began to realize she was watching life experience busy on the finishing work of a daughter to see if a relationship would move forward, and she slightly tilted her head with a small nod. She was the only one in the room who understood where Jess was headed…..and her plan to engage him with this line of strategy was working. She wasn't scheming to marry off her daughter. She knew her daughter was a prime catch and there had been plenty of interested men buzzing around her for some time, but none of them were worth their salt or had somewhere along the process failed completely. No, she knew the relationship she had with Jess' mother, the relationship Jess had with his mother and the type of person he had grown into hard edges and all had passed her stringent requirements. He'd just confirmed his integrity further by not spending Josie's money buying himself a horse ranch leaving Slim with the cost of the "high 20" thus completely illustrating the part of Jess that was instilled in him from his mother was stronger than the undesirable father. It further confirmed her morning's enlightenment as to just how success his mother, her former "pard", had instilled herself into her young son in his formative years. She also knew her daughter inside out and the type of man it would take to bring her daughter fulfillment and happiness, both in strength as her leader and mentor plus as an equal in love and companionship. Her daughter needed a man strong from surviving hard things in life yet without becoming hardened, ruined or a part of that evil, and one who was not so overly aged who couldn't keep up with her daughter's mind and physical energy. She was simply guiding and facilitating what would be in her evaluation, happiness for both of them. They just needed the time and exposure together so they would begin to see that for themselves, with a dash of coaching and interpreting her aged experience and wisdom could add. That aspect of being a coach from a parent at work and the involvement and love of a parent never stops. Her only wish was while watching the tatting, that Jess' mother could have been present to watch the two youngsters' minds work on a life problem.

"What do you mean? I finish what I start. I'm finished with college, even worked ahead so I could be done early." She asserted with pride full of herself and dancing on the other end of the lasso.

"How many assignments are left? It's just the 4 months till spring." Jess' voice was soft, even near to the coo tone he used with horses, not preaching at her but directing her thinking processes.

"I don't know. I'm not the professor." Was a snap of her tail…..if she'd had one.

"Well, the professor obviously sees more work that takes 4 more months. Why get so close to done and then not finish? It's like starting to knit a scarf and putting it back in the basket not finished because you're bored and have seen something more exciting. The important thing in life, Sarabeth, is not the scarf, but in never giving up until you've completed the finish. By finishing it you buy more inside yourself than money or fun will ever pay, and it lasts longer because it becomes a part of the character of who you are inside. It's that character that people see and can either be something that attracts people to you so you can help them, or it becomes a nasty person no one wants to be around. It's those kind end up a bum on the street of nothing ness…expecting someone else to feed them."

He could tell she was listening. She wasn't happy and had a frown, but she'd stopped working on the knitting and her mind had become engaged in thought. It was like she was tasting the bit not sure she wanted it in her mouth. Her ideas held merit as did her tone of voice, but they were just not completely thought through. Maggie smiled really small and gave a side nod of her head. What Jess had just said could have been another exact quote from his mother's way of thinking and how she taught about building character by finishing a job and putting your best out there.

"But I've got the college education. The degree is just a piece of paper. I feel ready to go forward."

"Your folks have spent a ton of money providing you with a high quality education I never got. It's not the piece of paper, Sara, that's just a piece of evidence that will get yellow someday. It IS the achieving the right to own that piece of paper that makes up who you are, inside."

"You're doing fine without a degree, Jess. You've got a ton of money, just opened your own business, have an oil well coming in."

"It's taken me years to reach what you could have in a shorter time, at a younger age, and do more with throughout your life time. I've been hurt and nearly killed so many times I've lost count by the sheer stupid deecisions I made most of because I didn't get that education. Is it so smart to repeat my mistakes?"

"No."

"If you quit 4 months before gaining your degree, you throw away all their money. How does that honor all they've sacrificed and built just so you can quit before you finish? You think your Daddy would have all that he's built here if he'd have stopped short of completing each challenge life threw at him? 'At's like building a beautiful home like this and leaving the roof off. One more question."

"Ya." Her head was dipping and her chin was sinking, he had soft hands on that bit but those hands were filled with the strength of solid assurance and that bit was truth.

"You want to get married and have kids some day?"

"Oh, yes, since I was a little girl."

"You start a marriage, life keeps throwing even more problems at ya. That person you marry is going to need someone they can depend on to hold up their end of life and keep working until those problems are finished even when communications breaks down. You want kids, but once they come you're a parent for life and doesn't stop when the kid leaves home. You're a parent until you die. Just like the vow at marriage, until death parts. That's why when you have a challenge to finish your degree, you finish. It puts inside you that feeling of accomplishing something. That degree is the first one you do as an adult on your own. It sets the path for your life and gives you the character to finish as a wife and as a mother, until they throw that dirt in your face."

Her frown was morphing into a pout. "Bbut, Jess. I just found you and I thought…"

"Thought what?" He tugged gently encouraging her to say outright what she was thinking. He could see the bit and bridle was too loose and needed fine tuning- fitting. She was flopping around on her goals.

"Well, we're getting along so well, and ….and I thought you were at least… a little interested in me?"

"It's not as simple as my interest in you. The other side of that question is your interest in me. We barely know each other and you may not be even interested after you see this, so listen. With everything that's been coming together in my life all at once here's what I see that's on the trail in front of me that would affect my involving you. You have a degree to finish, 3-4 months of paper and head work and then your whole life is open before you. In that same 3-4 months I have a ranch-MY home will be going through a complete rebuilding that will expand it 4 times its original size but one half of the former business income is fixing to dry up within 1 year or less. To replace the income going away, I have to hit the ground at a dead run to get an oil business I know nothing about off its feet and making a profit with no education to help me out. I just found not only do I have a sister adding to my responsibilities, but a twin who dropped into my life this last year. Our meeting was physically traumatic, then we were told she died and 3 huge estates were dropped into my lap and then she came back, and is now facing starting a whole new life with a man who's been my only brother in this life. He's tied up in the same businesses with me and between us we'll be working 18 hour days, 7 days a week at least through spring." His voice went half an octave higher in added emphasis, "Life is not simple! Wisdom to make it says grab all the resources you can muster to help."

Sarabeth put her knitting basket to the side on the sofa and turned more facing Jess to see his face.

"Anybody who wants in on that kind of life needs to take a strong look at reality because it will take hard work and a person who has it inside to finish each challenge. She'll have to bring with her as much education she can carry in order to compliment the sweat I have to come up with to not only make all of this happen, but make it successful and to complete it. Somewhere down the road when I can properly have the foundation underway, I'd like to successfully build the family I never had growing up and it will take a lot of work to make THAT reality. It'll take a wife who brings with her everything and every resource she can and one who will come along side me, will commit and put her strength to the harness and be dedicated and proven to finish what she starts, too. That includes kids and I love them, but they are such a treasure I'm not going to bring them into a mess like my parents did, and then dump them to fend for themselves, or pawn them off on the mother and expect her to do it for me. You look at life now seeing your parents at a place in their life where they've done their sweating and building and can settle in some and enjoy it. You don't remember when you were busy playing as a little girl the early years of your parent's youth when they were working hard every day side by side building all of this. Right now, your life is them way back then. We both are. We've got to do our own building a life and place like they did back then."

"So with all you have going on in your life right now, is there even any room for me?" her voice was soft and tentative facing what she believed to be a disappointing answer.

"Is there room? Yes. Is it you? How can I know, we just met and you're wanting to quit things already. What's facing me and knowing I have to finish it would be so much easier with someone at my side but it won't be a woman who is just a decoration requiring a lot of attention and who wants everything given to her on a platter. I'll be too exhausted. It will take one who realizes the reality and harshness of life out here and never gives up, who wants to help achieve the goals together and who will dig in and put her knowledge in how to stitch various threads together and push the needles with her own hands to make it happen. So that answer has to come from inside you, not me telling you. Are you that kind of person? Do you like building a pretty and functional scarf with me, or would you rather skip working to the end and just buy one someone else made? It's easier to buy one. Just having the yarn doesn't give you the completed scarf. You have to finish the piece."

"I….I really loved working with you on designing this one." She was lovingly fingering the finished part of the piece and Jess looked down at her hands admiring their flawless skin and perfectly manicured nails.

"You've been around horses all your life. You have to give a horse a chance to prove itself to the purpose in life it was born to do. We have stage horses spend their lives doing nothing but hauling coaches and people and they are satisfied running 12 miles a day and then eating. There are other horses that can read cattle and know what you want to do before you get on the spurs. Stage horse is not happy dealing with cattle, doesn't have a clue what to do and a cattle horse would go mad hauling a coach all day. And you don't put a yearling out on a cattle drive neither. It takes working with them and knowing what they can do and will enjoy. That takes exposing them to cattle and taking time with them to find their purpose."

"So if I finish my college challenge proving to myself what I'm made of, then could I get to see what your life is like and whether or not I can add anything to it?"

"Add anything and enjoy doing it. I think that sounds like a wise plan. You are everything a cowboy like me looks for, Sarabeth, but we just met what, maybe 10 days ago. You know nothing about my life that you'd be joining and I'm not going to ask you into it or anything else you don't walk into with your eyes wide open and of your own free will. And I won't manipulate you with promises of love and relationships just to gain a maid, housekeeper and broodmare to birth my children. I need a partner. When we got Josie legally back among the living she was confused about her future having been told by the society of Denver who she was supposed to be. I advised her to find out for herself who she was before she settled into any new life choices sitting in front of her. She went out on the big open to try to discover if there was something out there she wanted more than what she'd discovered in Slim's arms. I told her if she was going to commit the rest of her days to something or someone, she'd better be positive that's what her purpose in life was to be. That's what you saw in that big kiss in the dining room this morning. They kissed twice before she left out and both of them enjoyed those kisses and thought there was all kinds of future there. But it was nothing like what was coming out of her soul this morning. She owned it this morning."

"This is like me needing to pick my own "handle" to fit who I am inside?"

"Right. And that goes whether that's me as your life partner, or someone else you meet."

"Do you love me, Jess, in any part?"

"I love what I've seen these last few days, especially how you dug in helping your folks with everything that's been going on through these two weeks that wasn't in the plans. You were an ace at the fire and since then pitching in and helping me, just like it would be out there in the real world. You would be so easy to love, Sara, but you need to prove to yourself who you are first in order to have a base to love anyone in return."

"But I'm already a week behind this semester and it'll take days for the train ride back." She was mumbling seeing her hope of freedom evaporate.

"Cattle drive gets delayed a few days, do you call off the whole thing?"

"No."

"You just be straight with your teachers and tell them there was a death and a blizzard and you push them to give you all the work you missed, then knuckle down and churn it out, just like you do in life. Before you know, it will be spring."

"I'll be there all alone. Kensie won't be there. I won't be with you. There's always been someone close to me in my life right beside me, Jess….I …it's a big world out there."

"Best thing could happen to you. You'll find out how to walk without a cane to lean on."

Having run out of objections, or ways to try and wiggle out of the bit, she skooched out of her nested spot leaning forward over her knees and flipped her hair behind her and had withdrawn into a pensive attitude. Jess was close enough that as her hair landed cock-eyed, he gently straightened it to lay out across her back in lined up curls and she arched her back and squirmed not sure she wanted his touch, but didn't move out of range. His hands were so … strong yet gentle.

"Your hair looked beautiful today. If you introduce me to your brush, I'd be happy to work out any knots." He offered gently drawing his finger down her spine lightly checking for the ever telling spine tension that tattles the need for more attention, or if she would be pliable and give at the poll. Her squirm was like a squished tail, but he could feel in her spine she was pliable.

"I didn't want to go back. Was done with my childhood and ready to enter your life, Jess. Now I'm confused." She had accepted the bit of truth in her mouth but was softly stomping her feet and swishing her tail. Jess didn't mind spirit. Spirit is desired, but it needs to be the right kind of spirit.

He gently tugged a handful of hair in lieu of the braid until she leaned back into his chest sprawling half of herself across the sofa and half onto his lap leaning on his chest facing the ceiling. The top of her head was near his lips. His voice fully dropped to the low baritone coo that always soothes his horses. She just needed an ounce more of a soft hand to reassure her of her own self under some new challenge.

"I think …you are a healthy, exceptional adult woman who knows what she wants but who's just been dumped into a new world by the traumatic loss of her lifelong best friend sister who she shadowed. It's a shock in a very real, very cold world now alone and you're skitterish at all the new shadows you see now that you're exposed to more light standing alone. So you're running back into the safety of the barn seeking the shadow of another new person you feel a kinship. You just need a nudge to step out and trust yourself to reach for what you want and take hold of it with your own two hands and accomplish your dream without having someone else nickname you. You've got a whole life ahead of you, Sarabeth, and you're strong inside. But learn to pace yourself and don't try to live it all in one week. Settle down and stand against the shadows, finish one life challenge and own it first, then reach for the next one. Relax and enjoy the trip."

His hand was still toying gently with a curl and after letting her contemplate his words in silence for several long moments, he took the curl and sniffed it enjoying the fragrance and watched her face softly as she mulled things over. He'd collected her under the bit and now watched in silence as he had given the training and now cued her with the reins and a nudge of spur waiting to see if she would give him her mouth accepting his guidance to push past the shadows on the ground spooking her, or stiffen at the poll and fight back.

"You're right, Jess. I have been hiding in Kensie's shadow all my life and now she's suddenly ripped from my life and I'm scared to be alone…including back east where there's nobody who understands me or the life out here. I know Mother's family is from there and they're really wonderful people and I love them to pieces, but I've been there long enough to know it's not me. Other than my parents, I've never felt so safe like I am with you, not even with Kensie. I can just be who I am when I'm around you and you seem to understand me without a lot of words, like now reaching my brain I thought I understood but showing me where it's all jumbled up. I feel it when I touch your body and look in your eye and you're strong enough to be gentle with me, giving me the freedom to choose. I do know what I want, I just have to find the courage to walk forward and grab it."

" 'at's my girl. Now you're talkin'. You need to look at college as a resource and milk it for everything you can get from it. Use it for your advantage while you have it available." She gave at the poll and had accepted the bit. He dropped the curl in his left hand and reached over her shoulder gathering her left hand and intertwining their fingers, his hand on top of hers and she softly curled her hand under his fist yielding and joining his hand. He pulled their joined hands to rest across her ribcage and kissed the top of her head while fighting misty eyes. It's so hard to find the rare person with the key ingredient of willingness to be corrected and at all cost own truth when it's presented to you.

"If I write you letters, will you write back? Be with me at least long distance."

Jess smiled and looked at Maggie who was wiping tears from her eyes and Chuck was patting her knee. Maggie looked back at Jess and smiled nodding her head yes.

"Jess writes wonderful letters, Sarabeth. They're short," Maggie offered nodding her head slightly sideways, "but newsy."

"Well, I dunno. Between Sasha, your mother and you…..I may have to hire a secretary for all the letter writing and package packin." He winked at Maggie. "Not sure I can write a whole lot with my arm in a sling, either."

"You're not taking Sasha back to Laramie?" Maggie asked quietly.

"I'm scared to death she'd be hurt or get killed with all the construction and cattle pens going up and animals being shuffled. We lose chickens all the time to a hawk…." Sasha shuffled her body closer to his leg as though she understood his words. "…. and right now have 3 to 4 stagecoaches per day coming through. It'sa mess out there. Once things settle, maybe I can build her a covered pen and bring her in. She doesn't know the people or the whole house out there's as big as Slim's and my bedrooms back there and I'll be away from the house all over everywhere. It's not what I want, but it's what's best for her. 'xpect there's going to be a lot of traffic back and forth between there and here anyway. Not like we'll never see each other."

Sasha raised her head and looked around then "woofed" softly as though speaking her mind, but then a commotion at the front door answered her alert. Slim and Josie came through the door having stomped their boots off outside, began pulling off coats and scarfs with their faces all flushed from the cold air. Sarabeth was still laying partially across Jess' chest and Maggie looked up from her tatting. Chuck decided to stand up and stretch his legs but only walked a few feet to greet them and check out his perfect fire in the fireplace. Slim helped Josie get her coat off and then hung everything on the coat rack that had appeared for the winter months along with a boot tray near the door. A couple of pieces of hay fell to the floor.

"Wow, it smells good in here, just like out at the ranch." Slim was slapping his hands together. "Kinda like Daisy's roast beef only I smell barbeque."

"She's volunteered to fix supper, Slim as appreciation for our hospitality. She's got a roast in the smoker." Maggie offered. "I tried to tell her she didn't need to, but she can be a pretty determined woman when she's got her mind set."

"You should try wrangling a piece of apple pie from her sometime." Jess complained as he finished the cold coffee from his cup and looked with chagrin at his empty snack plate. His raspy voice was noticeably more gravelly from having talked all afternoon. "Can't figure a woman who cooks something and then hides it."

"You mean you haven't gotten into that pie yet, Jess?" Slim grinned widely and pointed at Jess. "We need to check him for a temperature….may be coming down with a fever. Oh I know!" Slim snapped his fingers. "Daisy's found new hidey holes in a new kitchen!"

"I'm MINDING my manners, Slim….not going through Maggie's kitc….." Jess voice went up half an octave and Chuck chuckled figuring Jess had reached his limit having been pushed hard enough for one day surviving his daughter.

"Would you like a cup of hot coffee?" Maggie asked Slim and Josie. They both shook their heads no.

"Jess, refill?" He looked at his empty cup and thought a second then shook his head, too.

Sarabeth looked over her shoulder up into Jess' face and frowned lightly at the angst and tension she felt through her back. Jess saw her checking him out and kissed the top of her head and squeezed her hand under his and settled back into the sofa back. Sasha wiggled back into his leg and let out a huge puppy sigh.

"You get to show Josie everything, Slim?" Chuck interrupted while chuckling at Jess' comment and Maggie let out a sigh of relief not wanting to see Slim and Jess go at each other in the middle of the floor over pie.

"Ya. Both ranches. Foreman, guy named Joe, over there let us into the main house. First time inside there. That's a big ranch." Slim answered.

Josie had come into the living room with Slim tracking behind her. She put her hands on Jess' shoulders softly as his back was to the front door, and he'd looked overhead to meet her smile. She reached around from behind and gave him an affectionate peck on the cheek feeling sorry for him being teased over food.

"What'd you two think? Josie?" Chuck was purposefully fishing.

Josie's smile brightened the whole room. "It's a gorgeous ranch, the kind I've always dreamed about, especially all those horses. I was trying to convince Slim what the Morgan breed could do to complement their breeding program. And that log house is just stunning….and so big!" Her eyes were wide. "I just LOVE the log construction!"

"Ya, I didn't think the ranch was that big, but Joe gave us the whole tour. He said the hands are pretty anxious not knowing what's gunna happen with their jobs. They'd gotten about half of the fire rubble already cleared then the snow kinda stopped everything. All the horses have been settled into their temporary quarters…that indoor arena was indispensable. And that house is …. I dunno, Chuck. Gives this one a run for its money. How big is his spread compared to this one?" Slim chimed in.

Chuck waved them to seats offering by point to the bar and both shook their heads. Slim started for his chair but Josie was looking at the sofa next to Jess and Sarabeth. The other end was open. So Slim sat in the corner of the end and she slipped in nestled next into him like an old married couple. Sarabeth pulled herself up some and without losing much contact with Jess, resettled into his chest and did it so carefully and gentle Jess felt nothing. Their hands remained intertwined. Chuck neatly rearranged the fire in the fireplace, put a couple fresh logs on the fire and sat back down. Maggie stopped tatting and smiled at Jess who had put his poker face on tight because somehow Slim could read him.

"He's got a little more than 3/4th the acreage I have and his house is about 4800 square feet, this one's closer to 6000 because I had more kids and bedrooms than him. He laid it out however, so the wings could be expanded for additional bedrooms for Kensie's family. His house and buildings all sit here on the south end of his property butted up to mine and all his land extends toward Laramie. Even some acreage north of him has some elderly owners with no heirs, could go up within the next, maybe 5 years. He had put back some to try and grab it when it came open. So there's room for growth and we were trying to grow toward Laramie and the anticipated railroad to cut down costs of moving beef and loss of weight - better profits. His spread's about as big as the one Jr's been building on the south side of me and Jr will be done with his log home this spring and will move out of the foreman's quarters. Elroy's ranch though is closest to the foothills and mountains. You can even see the tip of Long's Peak on a clear day."

"What's going to happen to Elroy's property now with no heirs?" Slim was sniffing business and had drawn his first 5 cards for this business poker challenge.

Jess eyes lit up a grin but he keep his face hidden behind Sarabeth's hairdo. He kissed the side of her head and snuck another sniff of her hair. He knew where Slim was headed and it confirmed to him that they were more than interested in the property.

"Well, the Will's going to be opened next Monday, won't be official until then. All his kin had passed, just Kensie and him and he'd already told me if something like this happened, he'd willed everything to me and at my option to keep or sell based on circumstances." Chuck advised, also back into his poker mode not even looking toward Jess.

"Oh. Well, that'll really keep expanding this enterprise. With the "high 20" that puts even more weight on you doesn't it? You have plans for it?"

Now that the property was in Chuck's control Slim was upbeat and cheerful throwing down cards and drawing more. Jess took a curl of Sarabeth's hair to twiddle with and sniff. Maggie was in heaven watching the men and the new poker game called real property. But being an experienced poker player's wife, her face was frozen from emotion.

"Ya, I do, Slim. In fact, already had a buyer approach me and we've agreed on a deal. That's prime real estate these parts, ya know. Elroy put his heart and soul in that property and everything he put in is first quality."

"I …well. Ya, you can sure see the quality." Slim stuttered because he was stunned something that final had happened that fast.

Slim looked at Josie and she looked back and you could tell they were heartbroken and both their attitudes took a 180 degree fall into disheartenment. On the outside chance, Slim snuck a look over at Jess ….just checking…. but he had sprawled back out like a face up bear rug. He'd laid his head backward resting on the quilted sofa back and afghan with closed his eyes like he was dozing and there was absolutely nothing moving on his face. Slim could see Maggie had him back in hot compresses with his leg still wrapped thickly and propped stretched in front of him on the coffee table, the other leg stretched under the table holding a well picked over plate of food and empty mug. Food on his stomach tended to put Jess asleep and he could see the empty plate in plain sight. Sarabeth was snuggled under his arm on one side their hands hanging intertwined and Sasha was under his other hand. Slim wasn't even sure Jess was awake and knew he'd been fighting strong pain throughout his body. Jess wasn't really the business-type anyway, more of a player and side kick, so Slim figured Jess was off in some other world at the moment….. However, it was completely odd to see Jess so silent and distant or detached from anything in the room which was very strange Slim thought …..but he marked it up to the pain Jess was fighting…. and, and, and it was just very hard to think at all with Josie now tucked in under his wing next to his heart… perhaps the perfume she was wearing… and that she was securely back off the wide open where he could protect her. Slim's day had been very emotionally full… his first day actually feeling hope become reality that his soul had found his mate and nothing in the world could top that. He was on top of the world but his normally calm sensibilities were all messed up with Josie's body lined up alongside his and knowing for sure and for certain, this time this woman was the one. So his game was a little off. …..or at least his brain.

Jess, on the other hand, knew he had to go into a self-induced trance to control any signals Slim was historically known to pick up on. Somehow over the last 5 or so years Slim had gotten pretty good at reading Jess better than any other person known and Jess was still having difficulty figuring out how Slim did that. He also didn't want to do anything at all that Josie could, or might possibly empathize on. Only Sarabeth could feel his body deep inside begin to vibrate internally under the force of his control like she'd feel when, in reverse, he would unbuckle in the bed just before dropping off into sleep. She frowned ever so slightly and put her hand softly on his leg double checking what she could feel through his ribcage.

"Is it a closed deal or would you be open to a bidding war?" Josie popped in surprising both Slim and Jess. Slim's brow went up and he looked down at her amazed she even knew the term. Josie's face was eager and alive. Josie didn't know anything about real property, but she'd seen a few horse deals and that technique had been used to steal a horse out from under her in the past, so she threw it out there. In her mind if it worked on horse deals, it was good enough for property ones.

The vibration inside Jess deepened and his head came up slowly like a robot coming on line and he looked around Sarabeth while now leaning his jaw on his hand propped on the arm rest. He was still in poker face neutral but his heart whispered, "say what?" He wanted to read her face, a new player in the game, could his twin really know how to play poker? This could put a fly in the buttermilk. Sarabeth started to shift but Jess caught her with his arm that was wrapped around her shoulders and squeezed their intertwined hands ever so unperceptively drawing their hands closer to his ribs and she froze in place. One ounce on her reins held her still. Unless you could see past their clothing, you missed seeing any movement. Nonchalantly Jess then looked over at Chuck waiting and eyes alert watching for Chuck's next poker move. Nothing, absolutely nothing in this world could have moved Jess off that sofa. Chuck didn't miss a heartbeat, reading Jess from his side vision his gaze never left Slim and Josie, his voice was gentle but steady in a set decision.

"No, Josie…sorry. I've given my word so the deal is final. It's more than a fair price and I'd never have a better neighbor."

"So you know the people buying?" Slim offered, looking at Josie trying to console her, "That's almost as vital as any price, Josie. Not like the city. Out here this far in the country, knowing your next door can mean life and death."

"Hands over there will know the owners, too, and it will thrill them. They don't need to worry." Chuck reassured them. The only thing that moved was Jess' blue eyes as they twinkled at Chuck's poker bravado. This man didn't reach his success in life, or his experience level at poker without taking calculated risks cutting off a looming raise or fold attempt. And he didn't leave any stray cards on the table either.

"That's important, too." Slim agreed blindly, unable to fight the truth and completely unaware they were even talking about him.

"You realize though, Slim….Josie, who that is- has to be kept in strictest confidence for now. The Will's not even officially open." Chuck admonished "innocently" keeping to his rule of confidentiality in property deals. He was trying to head off pertinent probing questions that he expected next. Real property deals was Chuck's inimitable poker game and he wasn't leaving doors open for a coup d'état or anything that could give away or compromise his code of silence on a business deal. Jess just shook his head ever so slightly in awe of the man's acumen and decided he'd never want to meet this man in a gunfight – had Chuck been a gunfighter. Gunfighters have "tells" just like poker players and Jess couldn't even discern Chuck's poker tells…yet.

"Ya, I remember how you did the "high 20" deal. I understand." Slim looked at Josie. "It's for the best, Josie. I guess."

They both still looked severely depressed as though their ballooning dreams had been shattered into a bazillion pieces. Josie wasn't so happy or willing to lose a dream especially figuring she could wrangle her estate money back from Jess later. She was chewing the side of her lips and pouting. Slim reached down kissed her quickly and she laid her head back on his bicep in disappointment, now fighting tears. It had been the worst news on their happiest day.

"We'll have our hands full, Josie, with the ranch in Laramie and the changes going on over there."

"I know." It was a quiet acknowledgement and her deep blue eyes looked up into Slim's face briefly. "But those horses, Slim, and that indoor arena." She closed her eyes and her head tilted into his chest fingering his vest. "And that gorgeous log home." She inhaled drinking in Slim's aroma which she found comforting. Today he smelled like fresh hay they'd …discovered.

Jess could feel she was fighting tears and he couldn't handle her tears and hold a secret, too, and he rolled his eyes….. 'oh daggum….not the water works!' he thought quickly trying to come up with a plan. Jess could handle anything….but the water works from women and animals in pain.

"Ya know, Jose, with the estate money Slim can build you an arena. Maybe just not as big 'cause of the size of the valley. He's got an archy-tex drawing out a log home for the valley there in Laramie so it's not too late to make changes to that to outfit what you like from Elroy's house."

Jess couldn't light up too much charm else they'd get suspicious so he kept it casual and under toned. He sucked air through his teeth "Ow!" threw in a light grimace like he was fighting pain and used their combined intertwined hands to lightly brush the thigh so Sara wouldn't think it was her. Then he yawned with sleepy grogginess and shifted slightly being the anchor in the corner of the sofa… "Sorry, Sash…." He readjusted her little body sleeping soundly at his leg tucked in next to the warm water bag…..maybe that was camouflage enough. He looked down at Sarabeth half sprawled in a feminine way across his lap wondering if she realized she was laying half way over his lap completely unaware her elbow was resting on the pertinent parts of his lower core she'd thought she'd violated and permanently injured the evening before. She had laid the scarf piece down spread over their combined laps with her hand resting softly on top of it fingering it lovingly. Of slight note, the afghan Maggie had used to wrap his leg in ran all the way up to his belt, so the general area she was laying was well padding Jess' boney lap. The warmth of the knitted scarf felt good on top his lap too – hmmm, maybe she could make one for him.

"Ya. Josie. We'll get it built. Just take a little longer, is all. And like Jess says, you can get the architect to change the plans to what you liked in Elroy's house." Slim chimed in.

On his way to the bathroom Mike came charging into the room like a young stud colt just released from the barn of school work.

"Daisy says supper in 10 minutes, everyone wash up." And he was gone.

Slim helped Josie get up and they started down the hall to the guest bathroom Slim was busy hugging Josie who was obviously fighting tears of dismay. Maggie put her tatting down and gave a hand to Sarabeth who was almost as slow as Jess because she was still mulling over the speech Jess had given her. Maggie sat on the coffee table and unwrapped Jess' legs so he could stand up and Chuck grabbed the cane and offered the hooked handle to Jess who grabbed on with his left hand. Maggie grabbed Sarabeth around the waist and headed her to the kitchen to help set the table and with an empty room, Jess switched hands with Chuck giving him a close body right hand shake and direct eye contact.

"Thanks, Chuck. And I mean it."

"I know you do, Jess. Thank you, too!" Jess' handshake and eye contact was directly matched.

"For what?"

Chuck pointed at his daughter's disappearing back. "You've got quite a nice hand. I can tell you've gentled some nasty green horses before. I want to see you do that with a horse someday. She's never responded to either Momma or me that well, Jess. She's smart but she can be very stubborn and competitive. Um… any hope for a future between you two? I mean from your viewpoint… always looking at the horizon." Chuck was sincerely hopeful and Jess' head moved slightly to the side, their hands still gripped in a soft, but firm shake, Chuck's other hand on Jess' shoulder. Jess looked down at Chuck's gripped hand and Chuck softly let it loose. Jess then went shoulder to shoulder with Chuck and began walking with him but headed for the bathroom behind Slim.

"Chuck, she's an exceptional person. Very smart and competitive stubborn is good when it can be focused and directed. I see both my mother AND Maggie in her but in her own skin. I reckon a man like me couldn't hope for much better than that."

"I'd like that, son. I'd like that very much."

"But eyes open. Seen too many people blinded by the dream never make it. She's got more here right now to give up than I could possibly ever replace at this moment in her life."

CHAPTER 9: Nightmares and Separation.

Daisy out did herself on the supper menu and she had a magnificent time working in a 1872 state of the art kitchen. Everyone took their time and stuffed themselves. During dinner it was discussed that Sarabeth would need to pack and get on the train the next day back to college and that the snow had cleared enough in melt the Laramie crew could return home. Daisy portioned out the apple pies giving Jess a full 1/4th generous size piece for having controlled his self the whole, entire day not stealing the pie or diving into it for a snack even with both pies sitting on the kitchen island all day. By then he was in miffed neutral and played like it meant nothing, was just another dessert and even though it was one of Daisy's best pies he ate only 3/4th of his piece, a "polite portion." There were a few pieces left over mostly because everyone else was so full of roast beef. Jess seemed to become more quiet and withdrawn through the supper and when asked about it in a tease attempt by Slim, he just passed it off as being 'talked all day sharing Josie's story with the Wentworths and was now out of his quota of words for the day leaving no room for counter comments.' His voice was deeper and raspier than usual so Slim believed him. His real reason was because he was exhausted and facing a two day haul back home with a body that was for some reason still as upset as moments after the fire….only he wasn't going to tell anyone. While the hot compresses had felt exceptionally wonderful once they came off everything in his body went back to screaming bloody murder again.

After cleaning up the kitchen everyone retired to their rooms to pack and go to bed early. Daisy and Mike were quite ready to get home and it was decided Josie would borrow a nightgown and sleep in Sarabeth's bedroom naturally returning with them to the Sherman Ranch and a ranch hand would return her rental horse to Denver when they took Sara to the train station. None of them had a tremendous amount of packing and with winter's short daylight hours an early start was needed for travel the next day thus an early bedtime was scheduled. Sarabeth came into Jess' bedroom with her hairbrush and comb tucked in the folds of her skirt. His right arm had been freed from his side but when house bound, Maggie insisted on a sling which he fudged whenever she was not watching and compensated using his thumb in pocket or belt.

"Need any help packing?" She offered softly in a quiet disappointment but resolved the decision was the right one. Jess took the other hand not knowing what was in the first one.

"No, but thank you. Doesn't take much to fill up one luggage bag. Hafta leave half my clothes for Sasha. Sure going to miss this room."

"Will you miss me, too?" Sarabeth asked softly.

Jess drew her in for a close hug enveloping her. At first she hesitated, but then melted into his hold needing to feel the strength that emanated from his toned body. He could feel her soaking him in through her pores and lightly kissed behind her ear, his nose buried in her hair inhaling the aroma. There was a soft rap on the always open door and Josie was standing in the open doorway.

"I can come back."

"No, that's ok, c'mon in." Jess pulled back slowly and waved her in.

"You two look nice together." She added softly, but fishing for answers if her brother was attached.

"Sara's done such a wonderful job putting me back together….not sure how I can thank her enough." He smiled at Sara. "A hug seems ….not enough."

"Just need to talk with you before we leave for Laramie." Josie's eyebrows lifted about his comment but she didn't say anything further.

"Sure."

Sarabeth started to drop their hand hold but Jess wouldn't turn loose. He sat on the foot edge of the bed and pulled Sarabeth to sit next to him and gestured for Josie to take the nearby chair. Josie looked at Sarabeth quizzically wondering if she should overhear their discussion and Jess read her hesitating,

"It's ok, Josie. You can trust Sarabeth. Is this personal or business?

"Well, both really, maybe more business but I don't want to talk out of turn and embarrass you." She sat down leaning forward over her knees toward Jess. "You know the estate money I willed to you?"

"Ya." Jess blinked quickly several times in relief now knowing where she was heading.

Without anyone seeing or hearing, silently Slim came and stood with his back in the open doorjamb joining the two rooms out of their sight and listened propped against his hands folded at his back.

"Well, I've been thinking. Since I'm really still alive, are you going to give it back?"

"Maybe. But you told me after we got you legally alive again that you didn't know how to run an estate."

"I know, but how can I learn if I can't control it?"

"'At's what big brothers are for."

"We're twins, Jess." Her voice dropped a few notes as she looked up through her eyebrows with mild distain.

"I know, but the records says I came earlier by 30 minutes. 'At makes me the older. I plan on teaching you how to run your own estate, but now you're gunna have Slim and he's even better than me. We can both teach you. What's this about?" The ever short fuse applies to women conversations, too, let's move on to the point.

"Elroy's ranch. Jess, I fell in love with it the moment Slim drove onto the property and that house is my dream! Maybe I can still convince Mr. Wentworth to at least take an offer."

Slim started to jerk forward to interrupt not happy hearing what she was doing behind his back. But Jess' calm tone of voice stopped him.

"A deal's a deal, Baby Sis, man's given his word and when a man gives his word, he can't break it. It'd be wrong in so many ways to put that kind of pressure on a man knowing he can't break his word, even worse coming from someone close to his family as us."

"Bbut,…. Is there anything you can do? You know, some kind of man thing, man to man? Maybe on behalf of a woman, you know, an exception."

"Man's word is just as strong with another man as it is with or for a woman."

"We're blood, Jess. He's not." Her voice elevated slightly in her desperation, but Jess' dropped deeper.

"That's a low jab, Josie, not even worthy of you. I can forgive that because I haven't had the chance to fill you in on the history between the Wentworths and the Harpers, but I will back in Laramie when we get a breath. Once you know the history, you'll understand they are more than just "not blood." We may not be blood by birth, but like Slim and I are connected deep, the Wentworths are that way to the Harpers, especially to our momma. It'sa matter of honor."

"Ya, Slim was telling me this afternoon about your history with them." She mumbled almost under her breath and quickly glanced at Sarabeth before looking at the floor. She really liked what she'd seen so far of Sarabeth, even instantly feeling a connection and deeply wanted to get to know her better and not wishing to alienate her before she could even start. "Sounds like a wonderful family and I'd die before I'd hurt any of them. It's just…." She looked back at Jess in a fatigued excitement, "I've been inside houses of tons of Denver's society and old money, Jess. Big, beautiful, rich houses. No house ever spoke to me like this one. It was like when I first saw you and then you dove out of the stage holding me and I knew I'd connected with my point of origin. That house could have been built directly out of my brain without me even knowing it existed in my heart and ….it…. it's like being in you and Slim's hugs." Her voice trailed off softly.

Jess interrupted reading her fatigue and disheartenment, "You're just gunna have to trust me on this, Jose. I can't give you the money for you to start a bidding war to pressure him to break his word." Jess leaned forward in earnest entreatingly reaching for her hands folded in front of her knees and trying to gain her eye contact. "It's just not righteous."

She didn't meet his eyes but had reached the end of her debate list and slumped in the chair pulling her hands away from him and folded them in her lap and sniffed. Her intent was not to fight or start a war and she really was sagging in exhaustion from weeks of travel and the excitement of the day of dreams coming true. She was just desperate seeing her dream of a home dissipate before Slim and she could even get started. "Was so safe there." Was a mumble.

"I know, Jose. I feel the same thing in this bedroom. But will you please just trust me? You're tired and exhausted from all the traveling and being on the wide open, homes like we're in here really feel extra secure. But I know what I'm doing and you trusted me before."

"I know. And I do."

Jess wasn't so convinced but gave her the benefit of doubt.

She continued but in a mumble, "Please don't tell Slim I discussed this with you. I know he doesn't have the money to buy it for me and I don't want to upset him. It would just kill me to embarrass him." She looked up briefly to his face and then back to her hands in her lap. Her eyes were brimming tears.

"He'd be upset to know you did, Josie. But you can't start a relationship with anybody by keeping secrets, especially a marriage. Not me, YOU have to tell him you talked with me. You want a marriage, you've got to be honest and not do things behind his back. A relationship is built on a foundation of trust, and if you break that trust, everything else falls apart."

Her eyes got wide and she looked up at him, "But, Jess!"

"No buts, Josie, only honesty. That's what it is if you're a Harper where I'm the head. Got it? Slim'll understand, he's not like other people. Daggum, he's survived a ton of my crap and always been beyond fair understanding where I came from. As long as I was honest with him, he was there all the way for me. Now, don't keep torturing yourself about the house by thinking on nothing else. You've got a whole new life to build and first priority is your relationship and communication with Slim and getting' married. You and him can deal with housing later…that's down the list, some. 'Sides, he's got a good house."

"Ok." She wiped a tear with her finger and straightened back up. "I don't understand this one so much, but you've never failed me yet, big brother."

"You're going to do what?"

"Go tell Slim about what I asked you for."

" 'at's my Sis." He stood up reaching for her hand before she could change her mind and she stood and they hugged as he kissed her forehead.

Slim spoke up softly ready to back Jess' speech with his action and moving the door as if he were just walking into the room. "Everything alright in here? Can I help anybody pack anything?"

Sarabeth, Jess and Josie all startled and looked at Slim. Sarabeth was still seated on the bed.

Jess stepped back still holding both hands in both of his and looked Josie in the face and smiled with his head tilted, then nodded toward Slim. Josie looked back sheepishly at Jess in agreement and Jess moved her hands toward Slim and let go. Slim knew what Jess was doing and he offered his hand to Josie and she shook her head side to side and reached accepting it.

"I've done a stupid thing, Slim. We need to talk. I hope you can forgive me."

"Always be straight with me, Josie, never hesitate coming to me with anything, ok?" He was bending his head over trying to reach her eye contact directed at the floor.

"Yes." She looked up at his face with soft tenderness but he could see her exhaustion by the dark circles under her eyes. "I guess I'm a little tired…been a long two weeks….not much sleep."

Slim wrapped his arms around her shoulders kissing the top of her head and as they slipped into his bedroom.

"You been travelling for two weeks didn't get any holiday did you?"

"No." she murmured.

He closed the door gently and they heard him offer, "I'll fix that!"

Jess was standing where Josie left him, his head hanging down looking at the floor wondering if he should have just told his secret. Sarabeth stood up leaving her brush and comb on the bed and from the corner of his eye seeing her move, he turned to face her. She slowly walked straight into his body and put her arms around his neck walking him slowly backwards the few inches against the wall pinning his entire body completely squared up in full contact with hers and kissed him head-on and hard. At first it startled Jess, but he quickly accepted the flavor and allowed her pin to the wall putting his arms around her waist and kissed her back equally meeting her message yet allowing her to direct it and tell him what was on her mind. She gave a good, long drink to a tired, stiff and sore man and he drank every drop like one parched and aching cowboy ready to lick the bottom of the bowl. When she pulled up, he was the one slightly out of breath and followed her mouth for an inch as it departed but had enjoyed every second and a new sparkle was beaming from his eyes. His mouth was lightly puckered with the dimples in his cheeks catching every molecule of the kiss and he was looking at her mouth ready for the second round, but she left her arms around his neck and looked him straight in the eye.

"Jess Harper, I love every inch of your being." Her voice was soft yet firm, owning her thought.

"Something I said?" Every inch inside his body was in a full smile but he gulped and his voice was deep. He gave her a peck kiss back and then smiled lightly at the firelight reflecting in her blue eyes. He was staring at her lips first, listening 3rd. Or 4th. That kiss…. maybe 12th….. had gotten his attention…..his FULL attention and all thoughts about property, estate money and twin sisters dissipated immediately. Her volunteering it and the strength she used was the happiest thing he'd experienced in days, weeks…..maybe months! Well, since the peanut butter kisses and the back seat of the buggy coming back from the funeral. But to him, at his degree of tired and ache, it was an appetizer of personal affection headed his way and he was starving.

"You talk strong on trust, Jess, and I agree with everything you've said, but alongside trust is honor. They are a pair and work in tandem, or in harness as you say. A person has to have honor or they can't hold trust. When you begin to deceive you cannot be trusted and you lose your honor. They are all connected." She was intertwining her fingers behind his neck as though he could see her gesturing. He didn't care what she was doing with her fingers, he was enjoying their body contact. Her body, voluntarily, had been opened to him and when she started to speak still in nearly full length only separated enough for eye focus and even at that her um…..wonders were still

"I can agree with that." He was still looking at her lips ready for round 2, he licked his lips slightly checking for peanut butter, or peaches, or …..

"Did you know Slim was listening?" He was fixed watching her lips as she talked.

"No, was focused on my twin. Kinda messed up my sense of surrounding some." He pursed his lips lightly checking for moisture and they were fine, but she wasn't looking at his mouth. She was looking at his eyes so he looked down nearly to the floor and held his gaze for some moments then back up. Surely the eyelashes would get her, he could feel the scruff needed shaving which always seems to be a magnet, too….SOMEthing should work to bring her back in for more. He wanted more…..needed..

"So you'da said the same thing knowing he was in the room?"

"Absolutely." He blinked slowly a few times then back to studying her lips, they looked so.. peachy pink and glistening moist like sweet …. mountain spring water with open flowers reflecting their colors in the pristine…..glimmer….

She released his shoulders and dropped back out of contact but stood facing him holding hands.

"I'm curious. Why not just tell her about your secret wedding gift, or give her the money that's hers and let her work out her own deal?" It was a true curiosity seeking to learn about how Jess was figuring this issue.

Jess sighed. 'Ok, so she was going to talk …. so much for kissing,' Jess thought to himself and his lower lip slipped out slightly like a small back porch…. 'apparently….no peanut stuff ….. tonight' and he shifted on his feet suddenly re-aware of the pain in his body.

"Well, coming out asking about it in the living room earlier and now trying with me privately, they both have indicated they want the estate money spent on Elroy's ranch. That clears me to use her estate money to buy it. Slim knows he doesn't have the money to buy it so by asking to buy he's committed interest in taking over control of her estate as a spouse. She made a free will deecision to walk away from the money when she willed the estate to me as well as made me the executor. So rightfully it's mine and I legally don't have to give it back or spend it on them. If I gave her the money and she bought it, she could either give it to Slim, share it with him, or keep it and even back out of the marriage. Marriage should be a partnership, not a tug of war over who's got more, or who's better, and that commitment really needs to be solid without the property as an incentive to manipulate the deecision to marry. If the ranch is given as a gift, then they are on level ground, one doesn't have an advantage. Best I could figure this is a win-win and the safest for both of them."

"That's deep thinking, Jess."

He shuffled slightly again and lightly nodded his head in a circle agreeing with her and then back to staring at those peachy tinted, sweet delicious lips.

"'An' I've been working on it a spell, too. Money makes life a whole lot more complicated."

She reached for the brush and comb she'd left on the bed.

"How good are you at deep brushing?"

He smiled and was pensive at the same time and he quickly took the tools. If it couldn't be more kisses, he was very grateful and relieved to move off such a heavy topic as finances to something more…..deelightful like her spun gold, silky mane.

"Teach me how. Never touched anything that long or silky and I don't want to break it."

She turned around ready for him to start but he was tired of standing and directed her shoulders to sit in the chair sideways and backed up to the foot of the bed and he sat on the bed his knees to her bum.

"Take a small section, start with the comb at the bottom and work your way up and then push it over my shoulder. When you're done with the comb, we repeat the pattern with the brush, then braid it. It's like knitting a scarf, Jess, section by section." She teased.

His right arm was loosed from being wrapped for overnight but was still not moving, so he worked mostly left handed. He laid the brush aside and started with the comb but leaving the tied up parts alone and just working from there down. She felt it tugging wrong.

"You can pull the combs and pins as you take a handful. We'll be taking all the hair down."

"Taking down is a husband's right, or you do your own." His voice was soft and also full of fatigue… definitely raspy from having talked all afternoon.

She started pulling combs and pins from the top section that was still tied on top her hairdo suspending his combing.

"Details, details. Just pull the stuff. Why does it matter who does it?" She was not quite miffed or annoyed, just didn't understand all his rules.

He leaned her back toward his chest putting his mouth near her ear and whispered softly.

"Taking the hair down, to a man, is the first step in undressing his wife for what they will do next and should be only between a husband and his wife."

"If I take it down, then aren't I undressing myself in front of you?" she asked quietly looking entreatingly over her forehead up into his face and batting her eyelids. It was a great volley perfectly executed.

"Yes, but you are undressing only your head. It's not me taking that control based on my privileges. If you allow me access to your hair, you allow me access to your brain area, the decision generator, but is where you've decided to draw the line allowing me contact with your body. If you permit me to undress your head, as you would only a husband, then you are handing the decision making to me as to how far it will go."

He gently pushed her back upright in the chair.

"It's how a proper man should treat a woman." He adjudicated. At least it was in his world because his boundaries were based on the abuse he witnessed in his birth home's earliest memories watching his pa pull and shove his mother around by a handful of her hair she maintained always tied on top her head. As a small boy it had seemed like her hair was his pa's control point as he unleashed his anger and husband privileges and she had no defensive maneuver from that control point in which to protect or defend herself. So as a boy he'd made vows to himself how a woman should be properly treated and especially their hair. He'd seen mothers discipline their kids by grabbing their hair, too, so for some reason it had stuck in his head that the hair was a point of either control or honor. It had become confirmed deeply within his being when Maggie had shown him the locket with the picture of his mother with all of her hair down and flowing like a cloud around her and how gorgeous she looked. Whether or not he and Sarabeth ended up together, with her naivety, he thought it a good idea to plant in her head considerations from which she should judge any man's treatment of her.

"You men sure have an odd way of thinking sometimes."

"Proper men should treat a woman like a queen. Anybody who does otherwise, get away from. 'At includes their language, Sara. A man gives up who he is and what his intentions are by how he speaks, remember that."

She finished with all the combs and pins and shook her hair free then fingered through the hair and it began to fall down between his knees. Jess just looked at it stunned again as it fell in waves and the various tones and colors interspersed throughout the head full of hair. Then he gently portioned a small handful in the back feeling its silkiness.

"You'll find it easier to start on one side rather than the middle." She coached. "The 3 blue stitches as the frame on the edge of the scarf."

Jess smiled at her repeating his words back to him and shifted his hand to the right side near her face and began working the comb from the bottom. He'd find a knot underneath by the comb jamming to a stop and grimace as though he felt the pain of the hair being jerked, but it wasn't nearly as rough as she did her own hair.

"You can tug a little harder without hurting me, Jess. I have a pretty thick scalp and losing a few hairs isn't going to matter much to this headful."

Every once in a while he would stop and smell her hair before moving the lock around her shoulder and going to the next handful. They got through the comb part and she gently took the comb from his hand and briskly went through the whole headful finding no knots.

"Wow, nice work, Jess. Ready for Mr. Brush?"

"It's so silky, Sara. The light from the fireplace catches it just so it looks like spun gold." He took the brush and repeated the process. "Why repeat with the brush?"

"It's so long, the brush is intended to bring the oils from the scalp to the dry ends so they are not brittle and break off."

"Really." He wondered if that was why horse tails are so rough. Ok, that made sense. He began taking longer strokes from her scalp down to the ends and she began wilting from the head massage. He'd have to push her back up from slumping into him.

"You're wilting, Sara." He kissed the top of her head.

"It feels so good. Relaxing. Your hands are so gentle. Have you ever had someone brush your hair or massage your scalp?"

"Whatever for? Brush or comb my hair to get it to lay down and I'm out the door. It's a chore like shaving." He was busy concentrating on the brush action and speaking by rote.

He had it done and she started to part it off and braid it and he took the hair back from her hands, re-parted it more evenly and did the same tension of braid she had done the night before.

"So you're now re-dressing my brain and giving control back to me?"

"Yes. I am honoring you trusting me not to go beyond your boundaries."

Completing the braid he held the tip ends around front for her to finish off with the gel and ribbon tie as they'd done the night before. When she finished, he kissed the ribbon end and handed it to her.

"Whew! Well, that was easier for me. Thank you, kind sir! And for your honor." She turned perpendicular to him seated on the bed, their faces about 24" apart and they looked deeply into each other's eyes. She was still trying to figure out his rules of honor at the same time pleased and comfortable with his gentlemanly manner, interested in her but not pushing or demanding something back from her as though he were the superior human.

"My pleasure, Ma'am!" and he did a seated mini-bow. "Any time." Her peach colored lips were calling to him again and she seemed suspended looking into his eyes and they began leaning toward each other.

"So nobody's ever massaged your head, huh?" She got up and put the comb on the chair seat then with brush in hand proceeded to crawl onto the bed on her knees behind him aiming for his head. Just as she reached for his head his voice suspended her.

"Is that what I did to you?"

"Your hair is not up in combs and pins. It's too short, nothing to pull down."

"Are you just going to take me, Sara?" He loved her exuberance but respect between males and females should go both ways. 'sides, he'd been pawed just a little too much recently with Josie's arrival and too many uncontrolled things involving his body had been tearing him up over the last several days and it was unnerving in his state of exhaustion.

"Would you like a massage, kind sir?"

'She catches on quickly,' he thought. 'oh well, why not.'

"Be gentle with me." He'd have preferred another kiss but…

She brushed his hair through one stroke but it was so dense the bristles weren't stiff enough to get through so she dropped the brush and went in with her fingertips deep to his scalp starting at his neck and working up to his forehead then back down. After one sweep he was melting and groaning, his shoulders quickly dropped perceptively and by the second sweep back down to his neck he laid back into the bed capturing her lap and she melded back on her bum with her legs crossed capturing his head in her lap, his neck crossing her ankles. He was on his back with his legs hanging over the side of the bed.

"Daggum," he whispered with his eyes closed. "Where have you been all my life?"

She smiled and kept massaging what she could reach in a softer manner ending up toying with his waves.

"Headache been hounding me for days….just gone." His eyes were still closed but he was making note of her touch taking away a hard headache for future reference.

"Your decision-maker is working too hard. 'sides, you're tense all over Jess. I can feel it in your neck and shoulders in my lap. You are one tight knot!" Her voice was full of concern.

He was fading fast and she wasn't sure she could move him into the sheets by herself.

"How badly are you hurting?"

"Ya." It was a whisper. That was ALL he would admit to anyone.

She leaned onto her elbow and then slowly over his face waited for a second or two because his eyes were closed. When he didn't open them but she was sure he'd felt her breath on his face she advanced and kissed him softly on the lips and he stirred and kissed her back.

"I could keep massaging the um…other tense headaches in your body." She offered with another smooch and he opened his eyes and matched her kiss.

"Thank you, Ma'am. My thought-maker is peaceful now." He closed his eyes again… he wasn't even going down that road. Delightful thought, his whole body was one very tense headache, but this was just way too early in their discoveries. His entire body may have been stiff, sore or angry in every inch or the other, but it was by no means dead yet and she was a beautiful woman. He wasn't sure he could maintain control of certain automatic spontaneous effects with her touch that soft and magical if she ventured below the neck. Just as he prepared to sit up and seek her face in a full response of a big kiss, she pulled away slowly and popped the end of his nose gently with her fingertip as she eased his head to the bed so it wouldn't flop down hard….dadgum moved too slow.

"Well before he shuts off for the night, can he get the rest of you to get up long enough I can pull the bedding back?"

"I'll have a chat with him…just a sec." He joshed back…..humor can diffuse a lot of elevating tension.

He brought his left hand up over his eyebrows for a few moments as though communicating with his brain. It took about a half minute, then he groaned and sat up slowly and stiffly managed to pull himself off the foot of the bed using the chair. Sara stayed at his back assisting him to sit up and stand and she crawled off the edge of the bed in a stand by until he'd gotten balanced holding onto the chair. She began to release him and turn to the bedding, but he captured her with his left arm into a Jess-hug wrapped around her with his nose near her ear. That startled her but she quickly eased into his capture and melted into his will.

"I'm going to miss you the most, Sara. Meeting you and spending these last few days together has been the best part of this entire trip. I've never met anyone quite like you. You made the last 3 or 4 days bearable and I'm not sure I could have pulled through that fire without you." His voice was deep and sensual, smooth as glass.

He pulled back taking her face in his hands and looked deeply into her eyes. The sudden yet gentle tug into his body caused her to begin trembling lightly and her eyes were liquid pools of tender emotion that began spilling her every secret. He knew she was completely wide open all the way to her soul and he could have easily walked clearly through all her wide open gates voluntarily unlocked before him in trust to her innermost soul where nobody had ever gone before …. and where there were no scars or gashes or baggage from previous destruction along that path. He shook his head ever so slightly side to side seeing such a beautiful garden just loaded with buds coming into it's time for blooming. She tried to open her mouth to say something but words weren't making it out. Gently and slowly he placed his lips over her open mouth to receive her heart's communication that wouldn't fit into word containers and they drank deeply as a few soft tears escaped down her temples disappearing into her hair just missing his fingertips. Her arms wrapped around his body and her left hand went up along his back gently easing over the broken shoulder blade and she leaned lightly into him without transferring any weight to his sore exhaustion. Her right arm tightened around his waist but her left hand dropped below the equator between his hips and she pressed his lower back toward herself leaving no space between their hips. Jess released their kiss wrapping his self tightly to her with his limited right arm and she heard him lightly suck air as his body arched like it did when she snuggled into his back, only this time his arch was into her body. His hand slipped down onto her bum softly caressing it then held it cupped and he nibbled her neck. That nibble brought out the goosebumps and a tiny giggle escaped. He released her bum and took her face in his hands again looking into her eyes who were still tattling giving away every secret inside her heart.

"You are such a gorgeous person, Sara, thank you for coming into my life and for all you've done to help me." His voice was deep and the soft coo used for the horses.

She tried to speak again, and her mind still failed to find words. Waiting patiently for a few moments he then brought her lips back to his and they shared their hearts again. The tears began flowing more steadily yet without gasps and he dried her face with his kisses that were so light they felt like eyelashes. She buried her forehead into his chest and mumbled as he folded her securely under his chin.

"I never want to leave being right here. Apart from my parents, Jess, I've never felt so cherished and protected, so accepted as a person. I can be who I am inside without having to explain myself, or justify being a person to whose family I was born, or a being worth knowing because I'm stuck in a pretty body." She looked up into his eyes with more tears leaking down her face. "You just seem to understand me for the me inside me….some places even better than I understand me. I feel.. whole."

Jess gave her an encouraging peck on her lips as she finished speaking acknowledging her communication and taking her face again looked into her eyes waiting her return gaze. She looked into his face and he spoke tenderly,

"Our paths have just begun to come together, Sara. It's the trail head to the beginning of the next chapters in our life. Always remember these few days of our meeting. But life is the journey, it's seeing everything and experiencing everything along the way that moves us along that path. Doing the journey is the satisfying part of life, the rough spots and the smooth parts, overcoming obstacles and then enjoying the rest times. I see what's coming as something beautiful to slow down and enjoy each moment, make the best and most out of the memories we can build together. I've faced death too many times knowing down deep in my heart I wasn't done with life, yet it could be taken away at any minute. I don't want to rush through what we're just beginning and then it's gone. Or we get in a dadgum hurry and the foundation of friendship isn't built right and crumbles later. I need to clear some things away and finish them so I can concentrate on what's new ahead of us and not be divided…and you can do that too, finish this chapter so you can be clear to experience everything coming. Once we clear up some of the past, we'll have more time directly for each other. Understand?"

"Yes, I do." She kissed his chest where she could see his heart was throbbing against the shirt lapel, knowing what he was counseling was absolute truth. It wasn't what her heart wanted, but her mind knew it had to be done right or things would fall apart. "And you're right."

"At least we have a direction to aim, something to work toward instead of just aimless wandering." He offered.

"And when it's right, time and distance can't tear it down?" She tried to be positive but once again her lips were calling him as he watched her speak. She saw him watching her lips and looked back into his eyes that were so blue they seemed bottomless in tenderness.

He took her cheeks again and they exchanged another long, lingering drink but she began to feel him wobbling on his tired legs having stood for too long and she pulled back with an extra peck yet softly rubbed his lower back.

"You taste exactly what I've been hungry for all my life and I want more, but…." She started softly but hesitated. It wasn't the right time and she wasn't going to offer everything in an attempt to manipulate him to committing to her…yet didn't want to hurt him in rejection either in case he expected more than kisses. "….I don't think I could stop if …"

Jess took her head gently and laid her temple on his chest where her ear would be near his heart and his voice dropped to the low baritone. He wanted his words to vibrate resoundingly into her being in as gentle a way as possible.

"I know, I feel it, too. When the time is right, we'll both know and the respect we feel for each other will be fulfilled. Until then, we'll just make other investments…. There are more ways of sharing our love than just the physical union."

He then took her cheeks in both hands and they looked deeply in each other's eyes and shared another long, passionate kiss and she could feel his tongue very lightly touch her lips again as though he was tasting them. This time she began to arch into him but then backed away slowly. Things were going strange inside her, her legs were losing strength and all she wanted to do was wrap them around his waist… but that wasn't right. She had to stop backing up because he didn't release her face and she knew he could see her face blushing hot.

"We have an early morning." She prompted softly with a wobbly voice while looking at where his neck joined his chest watching his heartbeat. Unable to return his eye contact she softly put the tip of her index finger on the beat embedding the rhythm into her memory.

He kissed her forehead with a soft and light lingering kiss, then the tip of her nose, then a light peck on the lips and then slowly released her. She hesitated briefly making sure he could stand unassisted, then slowly turned and wiping tears when he couldn't see it she went to her room and changed to her night clothes and he wobbled into the bathroom. When he came back out the shirt was unbuttoned and pulled from the pants, the bed was ready and he pulled off the outer layer of clothing and rolled into the bed on his left side in his long handles. Sasha gently slid across his ribs and his hand hovered over her as she curled into place and he pulled the covers up. After fixing the lamps and putting a log on the fireplace Sarabeth eased on top the sheet under the two quilts and as she nestled into his back she felt the rest of his body unbuckle slowly with fewer groans and no kicking.

"But I'm going to miss you Jess Harper, like the air missing from my lungs." She whispered into the night.

The only sound and only thing moving was the fire in the fireplace that served both guest rooms and the soft flicker of the lamp near the bedroom door leading to the hall. It had been that way for several hours and was deep into the long night from the early turn in. Sara had stirred a few times just enough to check on her patient finding each time he was out cold and completely relaxed. She was happy, even thrilled because somewhere in each night Jess had seemed to have a nightmare. He would groan for no apparent reason, his legs would kick like he was running and then he'd wake up with a light gasp and curl forward on his elbow over his core and Sasha and fight the resulting pain spasms somewhere in his body. She'd raised up behind him with her hand on his back and ask, but he'd just shake his head, wait for a moment or two for the spasm to release, then ease back to the bed and drop off to sleep again. One of the nights it happened she'd asked if it was a bad dream and he had nodded yes with a severe grimace on his face but she couldn't get anything more from him about it. Thinking they would make this night through clear she laid back down but she was wrong. Within a matter of minutes things went crazy and it all happened in span of seconds.

First, Jess' nightmare started again and he moaned, kicked and sat up, gratefully not in as hard a spasm as the previous nights, but he had screamed "Ma!" in a whisper as he woke up then sucked in air, cutting off whatever happened after that in the nightmare.

Simultaneously the worst female, high pitched, blood curdling, ear-shattering and soul piercing scream of "JESS!" came from Sarabeth's bedroom straight across the hall from them where Josie was sleeping.

Also simultaneously Sasha jumped up from under the covers and Jess' lean over her nearly bumping his head with hers and she barked loudly jumping up and down but trapped under the covers. Sarabeth sat up fully awake still on her side facing Jess' back and her hand was in the middle of his back. The scream wasn't even finished when Jess' entire body jerked up off the bed by millimeters fully waking and he was trying to do three things simultaneously. First, he grabbed Sasha from falling off the edge of the bed; secondly, he tried to pull the covers back with the broken right shoulder and arm forgetting it was injured; and third, tried to get out from the bed responding to his twin's scream forgetting his legs weren't healthy. It didn't work. Well, Sasha didn't fall off the bed but she kept barking and jumping and he couldn't catch her. In trying to move and do all three things, and doing it suddenly out of instinct, his entire body locked up in a muscle cramp freezing him in place where he sat half raised over Sasha. The body cramp was so painful he then screamed outloud as if many buckets of cold water in an outdoor shower had landed completely drowning his body and he began pulling at his right thigh in a reversed hamstring cramp at the same time the entire right side of his back locked up pulling him backwards in a back cramp. His scream was from the pain of his muscles going into hard cramp knots which feels like someone ripping the muscles off the bones like shucking corn husks off a cob. He was unable to move out of them or reach them to pull them because he was parked on his left side and his right side was either broken or in the cramp. So he was half sitting up corkscrewed in a double twist with a puppy going nuts under the quilt at his stomach. Being confined by the bedding, and scared outta her whiskers, she wasn't aiming where her feet were landing….and yes you figured correctly…they were landing on his thighs.

Fourth, although unseen, Slim had to have ejected from his bed because Josie burst through her bedroom door and Jess' bedroom door nearly tearing them off the hinges and ran to him in the bed still screaming "JESS!" and Slim was running only about 2 paces behind her. Having gone the route of the hall initially headed for Josie's first scream, he had caught up with his long legs by the time she reached Jess curled up on top the bed. Both were still in their nightwear, well Josie was in a borrowed long nightgown and her long dark brown hair was askew half up and half down. Slim was in long handles and his chest was bare. Mike, in the innocent bliss of childhood, slept through the whole thing.

Sarabeth was on her knees under the covers at Jess' back trying to at least get him to breathe. Josie landed half on her knees on the floor and half on the bed in Jess' face and she was crying, or sobbing really, still screaming his name. Jess couldn't breathe for the body cramp and was bi-folded like he'd been speared in his gut and his back at the same time. Poor Sasha was in overload convinced her human was near death over her and she was still trapped under the covers now buried with people she couldn't see all over the place, and she began wiggling and making a sound of a combined growl and whimper. In the 5th second Sarabeth reached through the covers and pulled Sasha backwards through the bedding and got her clear and Sasha jumped on Jess' head pillow cuddled up to the back of his neck and began trembling. Slim was crouched over Josie trying to get to Jess and Josie wouldn't move aside.

Just then, Maggie arrived in the bedroom with Chuck behind her and he was carrying a loaded shotgun, both of them in their full nightwear. In light of the barn fire only days earlier they were wanting to find out what was happening. Their hearts were on the verge of crashing as well. They made it to the foot of the bed when Jess finally sucked in enough air to gasp a few words.

"Musc..l…." he sucked in air whilst trying to speak, "-cram…PUSH!"

Everyone leaned forward trying to understand what he said and Maggie got it first but just a nano-second ahead of Slim.

"He's having muscle cramps! OK, he needs counter weight." Maggie's nursing experience took charge.

"I got this! He had this in the buggy when we got home the first trip." Slim jumped into action.

"Where, Jess!" He had leaned so far over Josie her face was in the sheets trapped by his body.

"Thigh!... (gasp) Back….right !"

"Sarabeth push into his back where you feel it tightest. Distract his muscle." Maggie instructed and Sarabeth began feeling up Jess' back and found most of the right side of his back in a full knot.

"His whole side is in a knot, Mother!" She was panicky.

Slim jumped across the foot of the bed landing over Jess' ankles and grabbed the right foot and gently began pushing the toe upward toward the knee trying to stretch the thigh like he'd seen Daisy do in the buggy months ago. Chuck put the gun down and began raising the lamp lights and put a new log in the fireplace. Maggie went behind Sarabeth trying to help her gently massage Jess' back, but they weren't getting very far due to their feminine light touch and sympathy.

Jess was still in anguish and motioned to Slim to let up and Slim released the push. Jess tried to start pulling his right leg up bending it at the knee but was having difficulty pulling the leg because of the cramp. His effort made the leg look like a mechanical crane that had jammed and was jerking against the jam.

"Hamstring, Jess?" Slim tried to pinpoint it and Jess vigorously nodded yes.

It was enough Slim got the idea and Slim bent the leg at the knee for him and then pushed the toe back up, the knee bend better isolating the thigh. That seemed to kick in the right angle and Jess nodded with his eyes clamped shut, now arching his back from the tender probing of the ladies.

"Oh!...DAD…GUM!" Jess wheezed barely getting the words vocalized.

"Chuck, come hold this leg for me. Just hold the tension to match his push and stop the muscle pulling." Slim coached, large and in charge.

Chuck quickly slid into position and held the leg and foot. Slim then nudged the ladies aside and got into place kneeling at Jess' back on the bed and began feeling up Jess' back for the exact spot of the knot. When he'd isolated the center of the knot Jess cried out again arching back into Slim's lap like he'd been stabbed with a Bowie knife. The muscle knot was directly on top of the broken dent in the shoulder blade.

"No wonder! The whole side of his back's in a knot. Ok, Jess just tell me how much. Chuck, we need to hold the leg and then roll him onto his stomach."

Slim waved at Chuck to help him move Jess more onto his stomach and as Chuck held the leg, from his generous size Slim rolled Jess as though he was a small child. They got him rolled putting his face more into the pillow and without losing the tension on the leg and centered in the bed. With his fists Slim started gently but firmly mowing up and down Jess' back beginning at the spine up and down and moving towards the side and flank and repeating and trying to get deeper with each pass. Jess' eyes were still slammed shut and were leaking out the sides and he nodded yes but grouched,

"Not … shoulder!" Jess flinched away as Slim got closer to the shoulder point of impact. Jess' long johns were all askew and not much more than his dignity was covered and that clothing was twisted. The bedding was in heaps of down quilts plus all the packing pillows, but Slim was able to see the bruising on Jess' body parts.

Maggie understood Jess from her exam on his shoulder and coached Slim.

"Massage up to but around the dent in his right shoulder, Slim, that deep color bruise. You hit that dent and we'll be peeling him off the ceiling beams…" She lightly touched Slim's shoulder whispering in his ear… "….or cleaning body parts up off the floor."

"Yes, Ma'am." Slim nodded and smiled understanding her comment all too well but continued and Jess was nodding acknowledgement affirming her. Slim's forelock curl was now bobbing on and off his face and he had to swing his head to get it out of his eyes.

Once again, somehow Slim's touch and weight was just the correct weight and firmness and the knots began to unclench and Jess began to breathe and relax. The thigh's hamstring surrendered first and Jess waved at it and Chuck gradually began to release the tension as Jess began to be able to push against his heel. The back began to surrender shortly after that under Slim's long fingered fists and Jess began to groan under his breath as he sank deeper into the bed almost completely on his face. The bed was a mess of piled bedding and pillows and as Jess relaxed and groaned with each stroke Slim gradually eased off the massage and modified to a gentle finger rub. Sasha whined lightly and then snuck up to Slim's forearm and planted a tiny whiskered lick and went back to the pillow and let out one quiet little whine as she laid down and put her head back down at Jess' neck. Slim smiled lightly and watched her as he continued working. Josie was off the bed and fully on her knees where she had landed and her head was buried in the side of the bed crying knowing she'd caused Jess this much actual physical agony. Maggie and Sarabeth were arm in arm at the foot of the bed watching Slim work Jess over like a trained masseuse.

Slightly winded Daisy showed up in a robe and carrying a butcher knife, her hair mostly fallen down onto her shoulders. Maggie gathered her around the waist with a small smile at the knife.

"Jess had some muscle cramps, Daisy. Slim's got them worked out." She offered.

"Oh, good! From the screams I heard I thought the Cheyenne were attacking again. I'm not familiar with your kitchen lay out, Maggie. It took me a few minutes to get here." She was a little out of breath.

"We're good, Daisy." Slim offered now just using his palms and trying to level the muscles in Jess' back. Jess was groaning under each exhale from the sheer relief…Slim had perfect gentle to strength ratio and breathing air was possible again.

"Well, ok. I'm going back to bed, then." She turned slowly, pulling her skirt tail up with the other hand so not to trip in the dark.

"I don't believe we'll see any Cheyenne OR Sioux, Ms. Daisy but I'll escort you back to your room safely." Chuck gallantly offered taking her elbow while gently removing the knife from her hand. "Coming Mother?" He gathered the shotgun in the hand with the knife and Daisy's elbow in the other.

"I'll be along shortly, Poppa." Maggie smiled watching the two leaving amused at her husband's ever ready gallantry knowing he got antsy around females with knives.

Slim stopped massaging and felt along Jess' back then his thigh and found them tense but not knotted and he leaned back on his heels on the bed.

"With your eyes closed I can't tell if they're still crossed, Slingshot. Better?"

Jess' eyes were still closed and he had curled face down and into a fetal curl. Cradled in the messed bedding and pillows he was trying to relax further. He nodded perceptively.

"Saved… my life,… Par…d." Was a soft reply in his low, deep tone. His breathing was finally going the same directions again, but his voice was still wobbly.

Slim flipped the quilts back over Jess for warmth then slipped off his heels and sat on the foot corner of the bed the same side as Josie, his back to the fireplace and adjoining door and facing Jess. The room was warm but the fireplace felt nice on his bare back. Sarabeth and Maggie further straightened the bedding and Sara tried to pull Jess' under shirt smoother then they sat on the other side of the bed at Jess' back. Maggie was at the foot and Sarabeth at Jess' back and she placed her hand lightly on his hip. Sasha snuggled down into the back of Jess' neck putting her warm, dry nose into his messed up hair with a very soft whine just glad some sanity was returning to the universe… even if her cloud palace was still swarming with other large human bodies.

"Heard the scream, don't know the why." Slim opened the floor on behalf of their questioning looks.

Jess opened his eyes slowly looking to find Josie and she was straight in his view. She was sitting back on her heels still kneeling just off the side of the bed, her hands in her lap and having a hard time keeping eye contact with Jess and was fighting turning the tears off. Jess took in a slow breath testing the body how far he could move without reigniting the muscle rebellion and successfully gained some oxygen. Grimacing with every inch he began slowly rolling over half on his back and left side enough to get his left arm free. Sasha adjusted then snuggled back in close, nobody but nobody was going to get near her human without her permission! As Jess moved Sarabeth pulled more of his long johns slightly trying to smooth them and then the loose bedding up to his head being sure his back was covered for heat. His right arm was folded forward over his body and knees still bent. He reached his fingers to Josie inviting her to hold hands and come closer and very hesitantly she slowly took his fingertips. The other three watched mesmerized and fighting their own tears as the two twins established contact. She stopped with the finger touch but Jess weakly pulled her closer to where she sat lightly on the edge of the bed, her back next to Slim's knees and Slim put his hands on her waist as support. As they began talking Jess would grimace as body parts were still slowly relaxing and coming back online but in a grumpy way every so often jabbing him in retribution. His voice was low and gentle and a "um" groan would escape as a pain hit him much like out of place punctuation and he tried to keep speaking through them.

"I'm…..sso. I did it again, didn't I?" Josie mumbled with her gaze on his fingers holding hers.

"We're…um….gunna hafta register that shriek…(small gasp of air)….as a lethal weapon, Jose." He began with a light smile. The others smiled trying hard not to laugh out loud. "Don't believe I've ever um…heard quite that pitch before." His voice peaked higher and cracked at the word "pitch".

"I'm….sorry." she whispered. Slim saw an extra quilt throw laying on top the bedding that seemed unemployed and wrapped it around his shoulders.

"Does things…um… inside a man's body…(gasp)... you have no idea." The nerve endings in Jess' poor brain was not quite sequential yet. "Every nerve he's got raises to attention. EVERY ..last .. dadgum ..nerve. Every nerve, Josie, inside nerves and outside nerves, even in between nerves. Did I mention um…..every nerve? Every pore in a man's body has many, many nerves." Most of the time his eyes were slammed shut, but he managed a few glances to her face.

"Man's nerves, blood vessels, every drop of adrenaline." Slim gently offered his list. "Especially tuned to the female of the species." Then he did a side nod rubbing the hair on the back of his neck, "Even more from a twin I reckon. May have to check out the water room here myself and I'm not even a twin."

"Ya," Jess gulped a swallow, "Take mine with you, Pard." It was a whisper man to man, but Maggie and Sarabeth understood their code talk and grinned at each other compassionately.

"That…um….weapon you got there, Jose….need to use only when faced with imminent death, ok?"

"Bbbut… you WERE dying!" She protested softly with a sneak look at his face. He was watching her face softly.

"Been right here in the bed all night, baby sis." He tilted his head slightly. "Nightmare?"

"YES! Same dadgum one again, Jess! I can't get away from them!" Hers was a protest of helplessness and she finally took a strong, but pleading look at his face with a hope at obtaining a pardon.

"Since the fire, Jess has been having a nightmare deep in the night, but he won't tell me about it." Sarabeth offered gently. "He'd just woke from it again when Josie screamed."

Jess frowned and squeezed her fingers stronger. "Me on fire?" He asked.

She started relating the dream and began to cry as she talked.

"Yes! Somebody pushes my bum up into a tree and when I turn around I see your whole body on fire at the base of the tree and guns are going off everywhere. I can't move or get to you because the base of the tree is burning but the fire doesn't go up the tree trunk, I just can't get through the fire to get back down. My body won't move either! It's just horrible, Jess! So scared and helpless!"

As she started crying, Jess pulled her fingers closer and she ended up curled in a fetal position with her head backed into his chest crying into the sheets taking a hard grab onto his left hand fingertips with a death grip of both hands. She pulled herself to Jess' hand burying it between her two hands and then all three of their hands…..were clutched to her own um…ample and equally enticing wonders of the universe. …. (She put his hands there, he had nothing to do with it. In her mind and spirit Jess had access rights to any part of her body and wished he'd never release her…. She had no boundaries when it came to him touching her. Visa versa, Jess did, so he had to monitor her access to his body.)

"I just found you, Jess! I got no other family left, I can't lose you, too!" Full of desperation her voice began cracking, she sniffed and whimpered kissing his knuckles, "And Slim's not mine, yet."

Maggie touched Jess' ankle softly. Her voice was smooth yet not so much motherly but more as a close, intimate friend.

"I think it would be best if you share your nightmare, Jess. I realize it's deep, but we need to get a handle on this before it gets out of control. We're stronger together than we are keeping things bottled up inside and there comes a time when it's wiser for you to allow us to help you."

Jess shut his eyes tightly not wanting to go into his past and also being affected by Josie's tears.

Slim's voice was very tender offering encouragement in security. "That part of Jess' life is a deep scar area, ladies, so whatever he shares goes nowhere outside this room, right?"

It was an unrehearsed trio, "Right." "Ok." "Of course."

Jess sniffed every so softly.

"Didn't you tell me you and Josie's mother died by fire?" Slim softly started offering the first step for his pard.

Jess' voice was still in his low baritone used with horses. He spoke slowly trying to remain emotionally unattached to the memory, but his voice would quiver or break at odd points and his body was still stabbing him with pain gripes.

"Was a gang of white men known as the Bannisters terrorizing the panhandle where we lived and I was told our pa did something to make them angry. He'd just gotten home and was giving Ma a hard time, the um.. new baby girl was sick and crying all the time and he couldn't deal with it. The gang charged the house we lived in with guns and fire brands and it was so dry the house burned down in just minutes. Pa was first one hit and Ma grabbed the baby in her basket and me and ran us outside the back door, but all three of us caught on fire. She ran us to my climbing tree in the back yard as we were batting the fires out and she shoved me, um my bum, up the tree and was trying to get the baby out of the burning basket to hand her to me when the gang members caught her and dragged her back toward the house, shot the baby in the basket at the foot of the tree. They were dismounting to take advantage of …her when the clothesline full of burning diapers dropped on her head catching her on fire again… and…. she screamed. They threw her down and took off while others finished her with gunfire. The baby basket was still burning at the bottom of the tree and my foot was stuck in a limb and I couldn't get loose to save either of them."

The three ladies were all weeping and listening. Slim was still frowning in compassion for Jess from when he'd heard Jess tell the event the year earlier during their first visit. (The Buckboard Incident)

"Jess said it was two days before he could move, from the shock." Slim offered trying to help.

"How old were you, Jess?" Maggie asked with her voice quivering finally hearing how her best friend had perished. She was also crying and mopping her tears with the hem of her nightgown.

"Barely 15. It was ….took all of maybe two minutes and everything was gone. Family, home, few things I owned…. my life. Was nothing left when the fire ran out, except Pa's burnt handgun and it didn't work. Took most of the last 15 years trying to get that memory of her scream outta my head, um..stop the nightmares." Jess stopped and took a deep raspy gasp of air. "Kenzie was the same size as Mom, same long dark hair and inner feisty. Bolero was deep in the barn and Slim came up behind me and grabbed him with his shirt. I was trying to hobble out of the barn when I heard that … same scream … it was Kensie on fire….and she …it was..." he paused for a moment and his volume dropped even further, ".. like Ma all over again."

Slim added to help fill in details. "After I took Bolero and turned to leave, I heard Jess yell, "Ma!" and I turned to look and saw Kensie coming through the flames. That's when Jess went back deeper in the burning barn and picked her up and carried her out."

"I wasn't going to not get her again….but..…" Jess choked down a swallow. "…was too late."

"So the nightmares from back then have started up again and now Josie's twin empathy is living them, too, but they are all jumbled together in time sequence." Maggie summarized trying to help keep from going too deeply into his scar tissue.

"Tonight you heard Josie… same scream, all over again… and trying to get to her your body locked up." Slim offered in his voice barely above a whisper and he watched Jess swipe the side of his face across the pillow trying to hide his tears barely getting his head to nod yes…. Slim nailed it.

Josie was weeping and now hugging Jess' entire left forearm in compassion and fingering his bandaged hand. She appeared one step away from sucking on one of his fingers in emotional dependence.

Slim tried to make a gentle point. "You ladies' screams and kid screams have a direct connection inside a man's body- it's just the way we're made.. 's not a choice. Some men… wrong kind of men, can manage to ignore it. Others like Jess and me, it's a powerful one, don't take much to activate it, and it can't be ignored. I think Jess' alarm system's been over used because of things he's had to live through. It don't take much to move Jess just had things been normal in his life, so we need to cut him a break, ok? 'specially with the screams."

They all nodded in agreement, this time Sarabeth was wiping her eyes with the palm side of her thumbs.

"Mine's not been easy, Josie, but you're stuck with me. Once a twin, always a twin, I guess." Jess offered softly. Sarabeth leaned forward and put the side of her head on Jess' right hip and lightly rubbed up his spine with her left hand trying to keep from losing herself to a full cry now understanding the previous nights' events better.

"I wouldn't have it any other way, big brother. We're blood and I love you to your toes. You keep telling me it's not the hard parts of life that matters anyway, Jess, it's finishing the challenge. I may not know all the details of your past yet, but you're here as proof you never gave up no matter how hard your life has been. You taught me that when you fought for me on the stage attack and then later as I was sick. Then made me get out there and walk on my own two feet and find myself. If you hadn't done that I would have been a worthless arm ornament to Slim, if he'da even had me.."

"Gotta stay focused. Just put that loaded weapon away somewhere you can't get to it in a hurry, ok? I can't live through any more of those."

"Ya, well, you have your 'affidavit,' I have my 'shriek'." She smiled in a light tease of pride slowly sitting back up on the bed.

"Jess? With an affidavit?" Slim's curiosity was peaked.

"Yes. You should've seen him." She was proud of Jess and bragging, "When we were dealing with my attorney getting me legally alive again, John started being a snob and Jess pulled his 'affidavit' from his gun belt and gave the attorney a lesson on proper advocacy." She chuckled kissing Jess' hand then gesturing at him. "HE called it his affidavit. You should've seen that poor guy's face! His eyes bugged out to here!" She gestured putting her hands a foot away from her temples.

"I would have liked to have seen that!" Slim piped trying to help change the mode to something lighter.

"Me, too," Maggie seconded. Sarabeth still had her head on Jess' hip, Josie's words sinking in deeply.

"Well, you just keep your weapon holstered, ok?" Jess summarized softly.

"You gunna be able to walk later today, Slingshot?"

"Have to, Pard. There's work out there needs attention. Reckon it ain't going to get done with me flopping around on this bed like a fish out of water."

He slowly inched his right arm toward his back trying to keep his shoulder from seizing up and put his hand on Sarabeth's head and his fingers gently and slowly rubbed her temples and she shut her eyes with them leaking. He was asking about her thought generator and she understood. Then she took his fingers to her lips and kissed them nodding her head slowly she was with him and in agreement understanding what she'd heard.

"So, big brother." Josie started but had a tone of wanting to tease him about finding him sleeping with a woman and not being married. "You and Sarabeth …?"

Slim grabbed her from behind at the waist and she looked around at him and he shook his head no and nodded toward his room.

"….going to be able to get back to sleep?" Slim finished.

"Well, I am. Good night…see you in a few." Maggie got up gently tapping Jess' leg and Sarabeth's bum then nodding to Slim left the room and lowered the lamp wicks.

"Not sure, see if I can get my nurse to get this ol' body to finish unbuckling again." Jess softly answered.

They left closing the doors and Jess shifted in the bed inching his way to his sleeping position and Sasha moved into hers. Then he held the quilt corners open offering them to Sarabeth and she repositioned along his back and slipped her hand in front of him seeking to tuck it in under his hand. He took her hand cupping it in his and kissed the fingertips and she sniffed back some tears and then rubbed his kiss back on his lips gently.

"No kissing in bed, remember?" She whispered, not remembering she'd just kissed his fingers.

Jess paused a moment having forgotten his own rule, frustrated by the infancy of their relationship and bound to the code of integrity that is deep inside a true cowboy having given his word to Maggie. He realized working with her the last few days how sensitive she was to the almost invisible physical signals between rider and horse as to how well they were beginning to communicate also without words. Then still covering her hand with his on top he slowly brought it down and covered his heart holding her hand tightly enough she could feel it beating. She realized he was telling her that his heart was hers to hold and she leaked more tears and nodded yes into his back, she understood and they dozed off back to sleep.

CHAPTER 9: The Long Drive Home

After an early breakfast the next morning it seemed that various people broke off into little pockets of two having personal meetings with each other all over the house. Maggie was chatting with Daisy in the kitchen near Maggie's indoor herb garden after bringing a new crateful of Jess' special peach preserves to the loading zone of the front door entryway. Maggie was keeping Jess' Laramie stash stoked and Daisy had handwritten out her apple pie recipe and was giving it to Maggie. Jess was even more stiff and sore from the overnight cramp attack and was mostly wandering in a small circle with the cane in the entryway where everyone's luggage and boxes of this or that and received Christmas gifts of mostly handmade, down filled quilts kept stacking up. He was supposed to be sorting and handing things off to Slim who was working with Mike on doing the actual loading back and forth to the buggy. Jess was going to drive, so they loaded soft light items on Traveler and the heavy, boxier items on the floor, back end of the buggy, under the seats and in the trailer to cut wind flow and to bottom weight the buggy. Slim and his shadow Mike came in for the second load and Jess didn't hand off the next load so Slim closed the door and looked at Jess' face. He was standing like a stone statue looking down the hall near the guest bathroom. Slim looked where Jess was staring and chuckled.

"Better do it now, Jess. It's a long road and it's cold along the roadside." Slim was teasing Jess about making rest stops along the way thinking Jess was looking at the bathroom.

Jess was startled by Slim's voice not really listening to what he said, quickly looked at him and put his hand on Slim's forearm then pointed down into the darker hallway.

"Look at that, Slim. What could they be talkin' about?" His voice was loaded with anxiousness.

Slim blinked and squinted trying to get his snow-bleached eyesight to open up. Josie and Sarabeth were standing face to face holding both hands like long time girlfriends and just chatting away, sometimes giggling.

"How should I know? They're women, who can figure out what they find so much to talk about? You worried?" Slim looked back at Jess who was still staring at the ladies and saw an opportunity to rib Jess. "You know the only thing those two have in common is you." Slim was grinning and waving his finger back and forth between Jess and down the hallway.

Jess was beginning to shuffle on his feet, looked wide eyed quickly at Slim then back to staring at the ladies.

"I know!" He tapped Slim's arm. "Maybe I should go check it out. You know, make like I have to use the room….. ….listen through the door."

"They um….if things work out, they could become tremendous friends. They'll need each other, Jess. Maybe they just need to start getting to know each other." Slim offered trying to unwind Jess' nerves now seeing just how wound up they were.

Jess was still watching them. "Ya, could be…I dunno. …" His voice trailed off.

"What's next to load, Jess. We're burning short daylight this time of year." Slim waved at the stack at their feet.

"Ya, they go." It was an ambiguous answer that didn't help nor did it identify anything from the stacked up items. "Hey, tie the stuff down on Trav so they're not bouncing on him all day in a trot." Jess was still watching the ladies but waving blindly at the door.

"Not my first rodeo, Jess. I've loaded animals before." Slim started reaching and loading Mike. "Mike put all those quilts inside the buggy where you'll be sitting. You can keep warm with them."

Chuck walked up facing Jess but at Slim's back.

"Jess, got a minute? Got some oil production notes you'll need." Chuck offered.

Jess danced nervously looking at Chuck, then the ladies, then Slim. Slim looked up, completely uninterested in oil business,

"Go ahead, Jess. Mike and I got this." He nudged Mike out the door, both of them loaded down. "Not like you're helping any way…." He muttered going through the door.

Jess pushed the front door closed behind them and turned to follow Chuck.

"Yes, Sir. Whatcha got?" He gimped slowly on the cane trying to keep up with Chuck but was still watching the ladies as he walked away. He almost ran into the center tree support and had to pull up and redirect around it still gimping but shooting an annoyed look at the vertical log support for obstructing his path.

They got into Chuck's den just beyond the living room and Chuck closed the door behind Jess. Stepping outta the way for Chuck to close the door behind him began to get Jess' attention.

"My attorney sent a runner out here this morning with a copy of the Will they will open Monday, it's a preview copy as a courtesy. Have a sit, Jess.." He motioned for Jess to the desk's guest chair concerned over Jess' wobbly stance.

That got Jess' full attention and at first he immediately swiveled and stood nose to nose in respect to the business at hand giving Chuck his direct focus, but then accepted the chair but sat on the front edge of it in anticipation.

"Yes, Sir."

"The Will is exactly as Elroy told me, no surprise… man's word was solid gold. The property is mine. He had it appraised every two years so this one's only 8 months old. I think it's more than a fair price." He handed the appraisal to Jess to read. It was several pages long and Jess fumbled somewhat not knowing where to even start reading a full ranch appraisal, so Chuck leaned over Jess' shoulder and deftly pointed to the bottom line figures. Jess read it and then stared in astonishment at Chuck believing the price was too low.

"I know you haven't seen the property, Jess. Wish you had time to take a close up look. It'd be more fair to you if you could see it." Chuck was somewhat apologetic thinking it might be a stretch for Jess to make that sum.

"I can't go look, Slim's so dadgum sharp he'd figure it out, so I have to take your word for it. This figure is just the land and buildings, right? The livestock would be extra?" Jess was astonished the price was that low therefore wouldn't include the stock but then he wasn't well versed in the cost of ranches, either.

Chuck left the papers in Jess' hands but reached in flipping a few pages deeper pointed to the inventory pages and Jess held the papers secure with his nose poked over watching.

"No, Jess, says here includes the livestock. I rode with him through his herds just before the Christmas break and these figures would be right at these counts, big chunk is Bolero's pedigree, course the barn'll have to be rebuilt and appraised back to reach this value or more."

"Are you sure that's all you want, Chuck? I want you to get a commission for selling it."

Chuck guffawed in a disgusting tone, "I'm not going to make any commission off my pardner, or you, fact with some liquid assets Elroy has in his safe for emergencies I'll add to it and pay to rebuild the barn as my wedding gift to Slim. I owe that much to Elroy anyway. He'd have my head for selling his property in anything but less condition than he built. Plus I want that much for Slim to be my neighbor."

"Barns are expensive, Chuck. That's a huge wedding gift. I can throw in some more and we'll go halves on that cost."

"I want to do it for Elroy, in his honor, Jess. And Slim was right about the value of your neighbor out here. It means that much to me to have Slim and Josie as a neighbor, I'd almost pay to put them in there. No, the barn is my gift and I will add Elroy's cash reserve for replacing all the tack, fresh ammunition supply and feed that was lost, too. Only we're gunna put that ammunition in a cellar underground like mine. The property will be in the pristine condition Elroy had it in when he passed and will match or exceed this appraisal. I owe that much to the man." Chuck countered with his face set in concrete as still emotionally dealing with the gaping hole of his absent pard and he sat down on the front edge in the other guest chair not really giving full eye contact. "We both keep a large cash reserve held back for emergency funding and if you have more than the cost of the ranch then you need to hold back some of that estate money for the same purpose." Chuck's voice was wavering ever so slightly.

Jess was watching Chuck's face finally seeing some emotional 'tell' coming from him. Chuck's face was puckering fighting back tears both from missing his long time pard and faced with the horrible task of dealing with his estate and then parting with his pard's hard invested estate having to sell it. That was crossing up with the delight of the anticipation of having Slim and Josie come in. What happened was a moment of warm fatherly counsel offered to Jess as if he were a son. Jess reached gently and squeezed Chuck's nearest elbow in support and gave him a charismatic Jess-type soft smile then added a full look up through peaked eyebrows moved his head to gain Chuck's eye contact.

" 'At's great counsel, Chuck, I will do just that. Hadn't thought of keeping a reserve for emergencies. Might need to hold some on the barn idea 'least till I can pick Slim's brain. He's always seeing design improvements he'd change on anything, all kinds of better this or better that .." Jess gestured holding one hand up as though a stop sign, "… he just runs short on the funds to do them. Maybe I can get him and Josie to daydream out loud if he'd change anything in the barn and I'll send you some notes in a letter to Maggie. And…." he poked Chuck on the forearm emphatically, "….anything he suggests goes beyond what was there, I'll pay for that…just keep track for me." Jess knew for fact Slim would rebuild anything in a better plan and it would take money to do that, but he also knew he had extra estate money he could put in and didn't want Chuck paying for the whole barn.

"I like that very much, Jess. Good idea. Elroy was a tad short on imagination and he didn't have a gifted son in Jr like I do. Nothing like a daughter, but sons….good son's hard to find. One that's mechanically gifted's even rarer." Chuck was trying to keep from spiraling back into the sadness of his ripped up heart.

"Here, round this figure up to the next even hundred thousand and we'll call it good. You build the barn as a wedding gift on the notes I send and keep tabs on the upgrades I'll pay for. Move at whatever pace you're comfortable because you're carrying quite a load with this. Have your attorney send me copies of the paperwork on this deal you think I need. If you would, paper selling it to me and then me deeding it to Slim and Josie, so's it's a gift and can't come back on Slim none profiting off Josie. Mark stuff you send where I need to sign and I'll pay all the paperwork costs for both deed transfers. Send it in packages from Maggie and I'll …." Jess put his hand on his chin thinking out loud… " …hide them at the ranch… somehow ….maybe make a box marked Oil Production. Slim has absolutely no interest in oil." Jess pushed the papers back at Chuck and by rounding up the dollar value figured he'd be contributing anyway to the barn cost because Chuck would never bill him. The rounding up was very generous because Jess didn't want to ride on anyone's skirt tails and knew Slim's ideas for upgrades could double or triple the first barn's worth. "I'll put the Oil box next to my peach jelly stash….everyone knows better than touch that!" He grinned at Chuck.

Chuck's smile looked like 15 years had been taken off his back. It wouldn't sink in until maybe a few days later that he had actually stood in his office making a sweet deal of a lifetime with that once 5 year old small Texas boy who'd grabbed his attention and heart, now a grown man. And he'd realize the ease, intelligence and moral integrity that had so easily driven this new outline for both their lives. He took the papers and they gently shook right hands. "You're a natural born leader, Jess, you know that?"

"Huh?" Jess tucked his right hand back into his belt loop he was fudging to use instead of the sling. Gravity was already tugging on the renewed achy of the shoulder and he'd woke up with a new headache from his brain's over circuited pain management.

"Know what you see, what you want and how to get there. Evaluate, decide and execute. Natural leader….just as I saw when you were a tadpole." It was beginning to congeal in the elder man's mind but the whole thing would not fully sink until the papers began to make things permanent.

Jess fidgeted because he was not comfortable with compliments. They never happened as a child or adult, so he'd never learned how to deal with them, especially from quality older men he respected.

"I have the cash in a safe deposit box in Denver. How do you want it?"

"We have to take a trip into Denver for Dr. Tim's final papers on his hospital deal sometime just before spring when he can start construction. Thought we'd try to catch him coming home from his honeymoon. Should be soon. Maybe we can meet and do both in the same trip. I've got some of my paper funds in Denver, so that'll work fine." Chuck folded the papers back together, stuffed them in an envelope and tossed them onto his desk. To Chuck the handshake was more final than the papers.

"Just wire me when and I'll make up a reason to get there. I'd like you to make yourself executor of "my property" until Slim and Josie can move down here and take it over. 'At way the staff can continue to be paid and you are on-site and have authority to call deecisions, pay bills, rebuild to what it should be. Does he have any cattle contracts due to be filled before spring?"

"Sure can and he's got only one cattle contract before summer, be no problem. That's what we were out looking at before Christmas. I'll work with his foreman, Joe, get it delivered, will make the next payroll that way. He had an unusually large number of quality heifers last year and made a large profit off the year before, new ones have already been covered, due this spring, so he'll have quite an increase in his herd this year. His steer crop is quite sufficient for his contracts, maybe some left over if you have folks in Laramie looking for prime beef. His payroll is no problem and he had no real debt either. He may not have looked like much, but the man was a financial genius. 'Suppose that's why he could branch out to horse breeding. Bolero's stud fee was huge, but because Kensie did the contract way ahead, they got a great deal. They need to start marketing him as a stud and make him pay his way. Doggone stud's had such a pampered life, it's pathetic. More Kizzie's pet than a stud. Handsome stud's got bloodlines, he should make quite a show – they ever get somebody up on him who can pull his strings. Seen him move and it'll take a horseman to handle him. Kizzie just played with him. Say we gunna get you to a doc soon?"

Chuck and Jess stood and began to head back to the front entry, Chuck was handling doors and hovering over Jess' new stiff wobbliness not wanting to exacerbate his injuries any further.

"Got one in Laramie. Probably stop in on the way back." Jess grimaced as he stepped off balance.

"Say Sarabeth told Maggie this morning while they were fixing breakfast that she's got a really good classmate whose father is the administrator of an awl production company down in Texas. Seems the father comes east often on business visits so she's going to ask her friend if she can talk with the father sometime and find out what it takes to run an awl company and what she needs to learn while she can. Wants to add that area as some side classes to her business administration degree say in financial… accounting I guess they call it. Seems like your words took hold, Son."

Jess slightly shook his head. "She's a daggum fast learner, Chuck. Picks up on the smallest signals and doesn't take a whole lot of 'xplaining. I like that…."

"Kinda like you." Chuck slapped Jess lightly on the back barely missing the sore side. Chuck wanted Jess in his family so badly since Jess was a tadpole and anything along that thought line cheered him up.

They walked back to the entry where Maggie and Daisy were putting on coats with Sara and Josie. Slim and Mike were done and waiting at the door and everyone watched them arrive.

"Locked and loaded." Slim announced with a smile looking at Jess and Chuck arrive.

"And all pipes emptied." Mike announced proud of his pre-thinking to get potty runs done.

"I'll help Jess get his coat on, you all can go load up. We'll be right out." Sarabeth offered… in an instructional tone. Chuck grabbed his hat and put his coat on as he exited behind everyone.

Over his shoulder Slim called, "And it's cold out here, remember that."

Alone in the entryway with the outdoor closed, Sarabeth purposefully pulled the sling out from nowhere where Jess had conveniently forgotten it and loaded Jess' right arm in the sling over his protest. But she walked around him and tied it down in the back to his waist belt so he couldn't get out of it and there was no wiggle room. Then she helped him put on a muffler scarf tucking it in to his belt and the sling, then helped put on his coat.

"How am I supposed to drive a buggy one handed?" He whined teasingly while playfully twisting in his clothes lightly finding out he was pinned in tightly.

"You're a cowboy. They do more with one hand than most of us can with two." Her voice quivered.

She tugged his coat on tightly and buttoned several buttons, looking at his chest not his face. He was looking down into her face and playing with a lock of her hair in his left hand. She was wearing it fully down with just one side comb pulling the waves off her face and looked stunning against the peach colored perfect complexion and blue eyes. His voice was soft and low.

"I've seen two people next to each other in the same room and couldn't be more isolated and alone. Then there are those rare ones who can be a thousand miles apart and yet somehow feel each other as though they were …. laying in a bed cuddled like spoons in a drawer, not even a sheet could separate feeling each other's heartbeat." His voice was soft and smooth.

Sara started to weep and Jess gently put his left fingertip under her chin and lifted it. She closed her eyes unable to meet his eye contact and the tears fell off the sides of her face. Jess gently kissed each eyelid, then the tip of her nose.

"When heartbeats have merged, distance can't separate them." He added.

He kissed her forehead and she lost more tears and leaned her forehead onto his chest covering his heart and kissed his heart. She leaned back slightly and pulled a hanky from her dress pocket under her coat and held it with both hands offering it to him chest high. The hanky was wrapping something as though it was gift wrap.

"This is for you."

He looked at it in her hands. "What is it?"

"It's a gift. You can open it when you get to Laramie."

"Please open it now." Patience was never Jess' long suite and Laramie was years away.

She tenderly unfolded the hanky and laying inside was a 4" long by 1" diameter banded strand of her hair braided and wrapped at one end in the ribbon identical to how she ties her hair off at night. And it was properly fragranced.

"One inch for each month until we meet again. I will finish my work, and I will come see your world, Jess."

She looked up briefly at his face and his blue eyes were misty. She rewrapped the braid in the hanky and Jess took it from her purposefully and tucked it into his left shirt pocket nearest his heart and before he could speak she continued.

"Put your hand on your hip wound." She asked him.

He had a light stretch with his left hand around all the clothing but complied curious as to her intent.

"You pulled me sideways and hauled me to the ground as that bullet struck you there, remember?"

He nodded waiting patiently. Then looking only at his hands she gently took his left hand and drew it horizontally across her body stopping at her womb and turned his hand where the palm was toward her and pressed it against her body while looking at his hand. Jess didn't need words, he instantly understood where she was headed and his head raised slightly in understanding and only now realizing what he'd done. Cowboy enough knowing it was being inappropriate to touch her there he adverted his eyes over her head and started to lift his hand away before she got it planted, but she caught it and brought it back to the intended target on her body. His eyes closed blinking quickly several times but allowed her to touch his hand to hold it at her control, not his.

"You took a bullet for me that had I even lived it would have removed all chances for my dream of children, Jess." She looked up into his deep blue eyes maintaining eye contact, "I will never give up until this womb has delivered your dreams… and that is my dream, that IS my purpose, and this is my promise."

Jess softly took his left hand from hers and placed it on the small of her back and pulled her body into his until her womb nestled into his lower core and he curled into her body putting his head into her left ear nuzzling her cheek. Without hesitation she put her arms around his waist and hugged him back. He brought his hand slightly higher at her waist placing his arm across her back and still holding her close, he pulled back an inch and looked into her tearing face and this time their lips met. It was a long, lingering and deep drink overflowing in communication too full to be contained by words. Unable to control it Sarabeth felt her body arch into his and with her arms crossed behind him grabbing the back of his coat in her fists between his hips she pulled him tighter into her waist. With his right arm tethered against his body by the sling and the sore thigh barely able to even move much less stand this long, Jess had to take a half a step forward bracing her gently into the door at her back and his hug became tighter to compensate. Understanding her driven need coming from her inner sanctuary, he supported her with his legs as she sealed her promise. Still drinking from their lips, frozen tightly to his body she moaned softly for a few moments then their kiss broke and she wilted in his arms, her forehead sank into his chest as she gasped for air. Still balanced with her back against the door, still supporting her against it with his legs, Jess held her tightly with his arm and braced her against the left side of his face. Lost in the fresh aroma of her completely loose hair, he took her earlobe lightly between his lip covered teeth until her knees came back and as she slowly regained her feet he released her ear and kissed the back of her neck just behind it.

Slim's voice started hollering outside and a clamor of other complaints joined in an uncomprehendable mumble of words….or curses maybe…hard to tell through a log wall. It was racket. They separated and Jess kissed the tears from her face accepting her promise. Unable to look into his eyes to keep from losing to an all-out sobbing cry facing separation, she reached for his hat on the rack and plopped it on his head sorta cockeyed while he opened the door for her. Catching her suspended for a moment behind the door he kissed the side of her head. She accepted his kiss but turned and met his lips for one more sweet morsel, then released him as though tearing her hands away. No other words were needed… um….. possible.

The minute the door opened a combined cheer rose from the frozen group at the buggy that would have put the local town's school cheerleaders in shame.

"I was about to chip poor Traveler's hooves out of the snow melt at his feet!" Slim teased.

Without pausing in his stride and giving no eye contact to anyone one and one micron away from being fully withdrawn into the closet of a gunfight attitude, Jess shook Chuck's waiting left hand, gave Maggie a quick but warm hug added to a kiss on the side of her lips and she got him suspended just long enough to give a kiss in the chin dimple noting the mistiness in his face. He started to release her but Maggie held on just briefly and he looked back at her tenderly and she confirmed the misty eyes.

"You're right on target, Son. Proud of you." She whispered and nobody but Jess could hear. Their eyes connected for ever so brief a few seconds…..at least 10 seconds…Jess was fighting back tears – she nabbed him right where he was thinking.

"Thanks, Mom." He voice broke as he whispered back with another light smooch on her lip corner and hugged her then sniffed as he released his hug.

Sarabeth was directly at his back he almost ran into her turning, and he gave Sarabeth another quick hug but one containing no airspace between them and this one was perhaps too strong on his part, but he couldn't help it. Taking one more deep inhale of her loose hair, turned and began the calisthenics of trying to get his sore muscles to move in some sort of sequence and against tight swelling to climb onboard…

…he sensed he was on target but leaving here today, especially Sarabeth, was the hardest thing he'd ever done….well aside from surviving a hellish childhood and war. Sarabeth was the first women he'd ever met who was a pure breath of fresh air, no bad habits, horrible history, background of being abused or assaulted or made to work dirty in a saloon. She was more beauty in out and through than he'd ever met in his age range and because she was so fresh and healthy he found himself wanting even more strongly to protect her from being hurt by moving too fast and not establishing a good foundation of just being friends first. It would be too easy to commit to her and she had such ease balancing him even more than Josie, but they'd just met 10 days ago, he didn't want his past to even touch her like it had hounded him when he'd met Slim. So things had to be protected and he didn't want to derail the course of wisdom in her life if this was just a first infatuation with her. She was naïve. He would be her first love interest and if he couldn't live up to what she deserved or expected, then he didn't want to pull her down and be her first hurt. Somewhere deep inside where he'd never felt, he sensed that if she WAS the one and if HE was for her, then the time delay and distance wouldn't change that. Indeed, might just be that last deep tug on the cinch before you climb aboard…that secures the decision to go. Dunno…. something about this family and house, it's healthiness, called to him deep inside awakening parts of his being he yearned for but was a dream long buried from trauma and torment never allowing himself to even dream about it. He was afraid he'd ruin this one too, or something bad would happen taking it away, or he'd be awakened finding it a dream. As much as Slim's home and friendship had come to mean to him, this one with the Wentworths was so many times more huge in potential either extremely healthy and enjoyable magnifying the start he'd experienced with Slim, or it could more hell than that POW camp tearing his self apart if he ruined it. He'd made plenty of stupid mistakes before and all it would take is one stupid move on his side. He felt it was healthy and as best he knew how, was trying to walk wisely this time and not ruin it by his sometimes short thinking; needed to stay focused and on target….so Maggie telling him so, just meant the world to him. It was a renewal of hope…..daggum he loved that lady… all the things in her world had been so topsy turvy the last two weeks, yet she was still steady on her feet….no wonder she was his mom's pard…..Chuck was one lucky man.

…climbing into the buggy oh….dadgum, he bumped his thigh bringing stars to his sight! This was his new ride, huge and spacious and weather resistant and he had to aim for one tiny spot Slim had left for his bum wondering if he could even get his boots into the tiny space on the floor board Slim left. Wow, geez Slim ….these are boots on my feet…trying to…ack… squirm his feet into the….tiny spot…. sure had this buggy packed to the hilt like a puzzle. Where did all this stuff come from? He could even tell the trailer was full and Traveler was packed and tied on behind the trailer! At least Trav's lead line was long enough he could chose his comfort range. Jess' jaw was set hard bracing against the new cold air already assaulting his sore body, he groaned deeply with the effort of the climb into the buggy. With fresh sore muscles and the still cold albeit blanket-covered seat with warmed bricks inside, his bum instantly fired up the nerves through that bum and into a direct nerve feed of his sore hamstring loudly screaming the announcement of the cold bench. He set his hat straight pulling the brim low in front covering the view of his eyes that were refusing to lie about the pain from every inch of his body and took the reins from Josie's hand. She thought she was driving, but the way he took the reins with absolute authority she knew better than argue.

"Where's my kiss?" Josie teased smiling at him. Jess leaned over and kissed her cheek. It was genuine but she knew better than push it further.

"Hey, watch it there, Pard." Slim adjured with a fake smirk of jealous territorialism.

"Eeew!" Mike piped from the back seat snuggled into Daisy's warm softness and a load of new quilts. "Are we home yet?"

Without responding or looking at them Jess started to flap the buggy reins but then held up and looked at Sarabeth.

"A wire'd be nice just to know you got there safely." Dadgum his voice! It cracked and he choked.

Sarabeth nodded and managed a small smile. "I'm taking the scarf with me."

Jess looked briefly in her eyes thinking to himself… "ya, not just the scarf…" he could still feel her body along the entire front of his body from her gift at the door. His decision to have her stay at his back in bed…..pure wisdom. The broken right shoulder prevented him from swiveling into her body and commencing something he could not have stopped…..two spoons with a sheet separating them feel enough heart beat….. ya a simple sheet and a whole ton of discipline.

Maggie looked at Jess, "A wire'd be nice just to know you all got home." It interrupted perfectly and her voice was soft, smooth and reassuringly warm as she stood cuddled into Chuck's body and he had his arms around her enfolding her in warmth of his coat spread around her.

"Yes, Ma'am." Jess doffed his hat brim with the left handed rein and lightly flopped the reins on the horses' cold bums and the convoy jerked loose in a chain reaction from the icy snow into motion.

If there had been modern roads for convenience between the DKBS and Laramie's Sherman Ranch homestead the trip either by buggy or horseback, or direct air like a bird, would not take long. But until you reached the Overland Trail the road and or trail follows the ruggedness of the country following the canyons of the Poudre River valley. The trip home via buggy having to use winding roads around arroyos to get from west through the foothills and east to the Trail and in melting snow that was refrozen in ruts, slows the trip back to two days. It caused them to plan a stop overnight at a hotel where they could thaw out. None of them wanted to push the two buggy horses pulling a 4 person buggy, people, luggage, gifts pulling a small cargo trailer and on slippery roads. It wasn't a mile down the road when Slim unfastened Traveler from the buggy's trailer and tied him off his own saddle horn. It was safer for Traveler and judging the current conditions of the road Slim rethought the wisdom of having Jess' main bud attached to a wagon and trailer that could go off the road in the slippery snow and ice. Slim smiled behind his scarf when moments later Jess was squirming and rubber necking out the side of the buggy worried about Traveler only to find Slim had already re-secured him more safely from his saddle horn. Too easy to lose horses with broken legs off snow and ice. Slim was wrapped in a scarf around his face, hat down tight and barely able to see his eyes and depending on direction of travel, sometime he was in front, sometimes behind alongside with a tied on Traveler basically riding in the wind break of the buggy. The buggy had a surrey top with drop down side tarps secured tightly to the buggy plus tucked in by boxes and luggage and Mike and Daisy were wrapped in coats and blankets. The passenger compartment was enclosed except for openings in the front area for the reins and sight view. Mike was mostly buried in extra clothes, blankets and Daisy's ample accoutrements and after a trip through a short kid's book from Maggie's library, Mike hibernated. Josie and Daisy were wearing lady slacks, tights, extra slips and overdresses with coats and sweaters and had wrapped blankets and quilts around themselves. Everyone was covered in scarves, gloves and hats. Jess was in his long underwear, jeans, a coat and eventually accepted a tarp over the blanket on his lap and Josie's. So he had on half the clothing the ladies wore. The tarp cut off the drafts from the openings in the front of the buggy. She snuggled into his right shoulder enough trying to add heat and he drove left handed. Sometimes in a straight road area she would grab one of the reins and they did a two-handed drive as a way of breaking up the boring monotony and some of the pull off Jess' one hand. It didn't take but about fifteen minutes on the road when the cold weather really began working on Jess' sore stiffness and he began groaning each time the buggy hit a bump or frozen rut, or just a wrinkle. He was happy and very proud of his "new" buggy and it did a great job deflecting a lot of the cold wind and moisture plus was a much softer ride than the wagon. But in the snow and packed as it was and on low springs and smaller than stagecoach wheels, with the 15" of snow, when it went off the rut or hit a hole, it came close to bottoming out on the springs, so he had to slow down some. It was also safer for the horses to not hurry. Slow was much better than walking.

Jess was still dying of curiosity about what Josie and Sarabeth had been discussing. Without stopping for lunch and after they picked through a delicious picnic basket of cold fried chicken and her version of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches Maggie had put together, conversation seemed to pick up.

"You seemed close to Sarabeth, Jess. Have you known her a long time?"

"Not at all reckon. Met her just before Christmas but I'd heard a lot about her from her family before that. Why?"

"Just a little curious finding my big brother sleeping with a lady he's not married to in her parent's house." She had a slight grin and a note of tease in her voice.

"Not what you're thinking, Jose." His voice held a light warning.

"What….you're a grown man, Jess. Got a right to your needs. It's different for a man than a woman. Men have more freedom in those things." She tried to justify it for him based on the accepted ways of society in her upbringing and the teaching of the women she was raised around. But that was a mistake.

Jess pulled away from her making a sordid face and almost pulled the buggy to a stop. But the wind gusted and he shivered and kept the buggy moving. Daisy checked to make sure Mike was asleep and he was, but her eyebrows went up anyway hoping Jess wouldn't explode and wake him, especially on this topic.

"I'm not that kind of man, Josie!" She had come too close to lighting his short fuse being compared to their dad's repugnant reputation. Jess' brain was too frozen to remember Josie didn't know about the type of character or historical knowledge of their dad yet.

"Easy, Jess. I'm just repeating what the ladies in Denver taught me growing up. You know, about men having to take care of things with their bodies and all."

Jess' face screwed up even further and he shifted away from her shooting her a horrified look.

"What kind of daggone crap is that? Just what do they teach you ladies?"

Daisy caught the tone in Jess' voice and offered to assist. "Jess is very respectful of women, Josie. I've never met two more proper gentleman than him and Slim."

"Dai…SSY!" he retorted in a strained voice but it came out as an unintelligible worded grump just as the buggy wheel hit a hole jerking the buggy and everyone in it. He groaned hard, leaned his head down smothering a really loud curse into his right shoulder grimacing for quite a few moments, even half a minute not watching where they were going until the spasm lifted, all of which drove him closer to Josie's blanket capture. He looked like he'd been shot in the shoulder and was leaning against Josie. Daisy raised her eyebrows again and decided to stay out of it and pulled Mike back into her coat from the jerk. They got about 1/3 of a mile before Jess could unwind from his curl or even speak and his attitude was freezing faster than the snow melt hardening up for the night. Everything in the buggy had shifted in the jerk but held together in place as a testament to Slim's packing acumen. The first part of January made sunset darkness at 5:45pm and in the shadows of the mountain range to the south and west, it made the canyons and valleys go dark even earlier.

Josie began to soften and look quizzically with naivety at Jess like she was discovering she'd been lied to and she began to stumble over her words trying to explain her upbringing. She began gesturing with her free hand motions at her stomach churning over and over and then pointed deep into her lap.

"They all…tell us, you know, that men have um….all this pressure builds up inside them and they have to relieve it, or it'll kill them. You know like a cow's udder gets so full it could burst so it needs relieving. That women were made to um….well, service the needs of men relieving their pressure and we have no choice in matters of …down there. Most of us don't even get a choice who to marry or TO marry, for that matter. It must be very difficult being trapped in a male body." She was earnestly looking to Jess for the truth and started to reach to pat him on the forearm in sympathy.

That was brand new information to Jess and infuriated him and he pulled the buggy to a stop, shifted in the seat slightly turning to look at her and pulled his arm out of reach as he didn't need any sympathy. He tried to stand up in disgust and lurched forward grabbing buggy parts because his boots had no room to move, his legs were numb and his head narrowly missed hitting the overhead surrey top but knocked his hat loose. So he re- seated to keep from falling forward onto the horses. The buggy horses were happy to stop for a breather but the buggy's trailer slid sideways into a rut and pulled the back end of the buggy into the rut with it. Anyway the chain reaction jerked Jess' body and he had to grab leather…um…the buggy's hard frame, to keep from falling into Josie's lap.

"What the …_!_..." he winced at a pain spasm that travelled his entire body, "ow!…..kind of lies they feed you girls?" He curled almost completely to the floor trying to hold the muscles against cramping up against the pain spasm in the cold.

"You mean it's not true?" Josie's voice was pure innocent petitioning for the truth as she followed him halfway to the floor offering her hand to help….which he ignored.

Jess stiffly turned half way around looking at Daisy for confirmation and she raised her eyebrows and gave a side head nod affirming she'd heard the same news.

Jess looked back and forth between them incredulously, "You're seri..ous!?" The tone of his voice cracked and went higher in pitch. He had to readjust his hat in place as it had shifted in all his movements.

Josie saw movement from the corner of her eye and looked forward out the buggy to see Slim had noticed they'd stopped and was heading back to them, Traveler in tow. Jess saw her look and followed her gaze and sat back in the bench and started the buggy and Josie pulled the tarp over their legs again. He didn't want to get into this topic with Slim.

"Jess?" Josie wanted an answer.

"What." It was a statement not a question.

"Is it true men can't control some body functions and it will kill them if it's not released?"

"No! 'At's a bunch of lies. Don't have a clue where they'd come up with a story like that!" He retorted, then mumbled something unintelligible under his breath.

"I'm sorry, Jess, my ears are cold. "No" what?" She adjusted her head scarf back some and asked innocently having been unable to hear the mumbled part of his comment.

Studying the bumper of the horse ahead of him, "No, it's not true, but it sure explains a few things."

"Like what?" Josie asked, "What you feel in your body as a man?"

Daisy raised her eyebrows again sensing Josie was treading on short fuse territory.

Jess half turned over his shoulder to Daisy, "You know where that crap comes from, Daisy? Did they tell you the same lies? You got a medical education." His voice was still cracking in all the wrong places in exasperation.

"There are a lot of people, Jess, who don't have a proper education in matters of reproduction, so what they don't understand, they make up stories to justify their feelings. There's fault on both sides mostly because of lack of communication and education. Yes, there are more women who don't enjoy that part of marriage than those who do. Most women want children, they just wish there was a way to have them without going through the necessary contact with men."

"So do you feel things in your body as a man that need….could burst…...explains what?" Josie was really becoming confused and interrupted.

Jess looked at her impatiently like she was a 4 year old stuck on the "why" question but reading her confusion saw she was sincerely seeking truth and fell back into 'big brother' mode. Josie's search and hunger for truth generally was refreshing to him, but she'd zeroed in on him as the ONLY source she could rely on and that was new to Jess. Invariably they seemed to all land on areas that were of the private even intimate type questions not typical for a bachelor, especially speaking to a lady. Still as being himself, he couldn't deny his propensity to help someone in true need, and he supposed, as head of their family that included the sex topic.

"Stories like that explains things women do and say." He tried for a short answer not wanting to reveal his life history and the pack of women who had chased him down since he could remember.

"Do and say TO you or to relieve…" Jess' vague answers were not helping matters either.

"Attitudes, Jose, all kinds of women out there, no two are alike either. It explains attitudes different women have toward men at different times, 'at's all. Some… well, just different attitudes. And NO! Sarabeth was.." Jess' face was screwed up like he was tasting something putrid and ready to puke…. "NOT "servicing me!" And my body does NOT function like that." He flipped the reins on the horse' bum trying to control his utter disgust and muttered another "Dadgummit! Wouldn't do that to a woman if it did" under his breath and continued;

"She was there as added warmth, always on top the sheet, she slept still dressed in her street clothes and was only there after I was hurt in the fire. Three nights, I think. The barn burned down on a very cold day just ahead of the blizzard and I was wet to the bone and had gotten chilled throwing buckets of water on the fire, then nearly catched on fire myself getting the stud outta the back of the barn. The hands threw wet blankets all over Kensie as I was carrying her out because her hair and clothes were on fire. They nearly drowned me. It was freezing cold all day. Last thing we needed was me fighting new-ponya! Still not thawed out and been quick to chill since! 'Sides that, it was done with her parent's full knowledge and consent, Jose! Maggie even suggested it because her experience fixing ranch injuries was that the married cowboys mended faster because their wife's warmth help them sleep deeper. She knew she could trust me!" He ended up speaking toward his shoulder in her direction without really looking at her emphasizing the last statement.

"Well now see I didn't know all that, Jess. That actually sounds more like you. Did it help you, then?" Her tone changed to compassionate curiosity and she lightly rubbed his sore thigh.

"It did!" Jess was softly indignant and spoke in clipped words on guard and watched where her hand was going on his thigh. "Surprised the heck outta me, too. Never had that happen before."

"Sleeping with a woman, or sleeping deeply?" She was still curious about his past and unable to understand his clipped, vague answers or continued single status and couldn't pass it up.

He looked at her about to retort something but the buggy hit another hole, bounced and he grimaced and even had to suck in some air all over again. It was hard to see all the holes and ruts from behind the tarps.

"OH!" He sucked in air as the jolt travelled up from his legs straightening him up through his shoulder. "Dadgum!" Was spit out as he sucked in a second gasp of air through gripped teeth followed by a light cough. It didn't help and he had to draw the buggy to a stop and lean into his shoulder to stretch against it cramping up while murmuring a second expletive covering up a whimpered cry into his shoulder.

Josie was bewildered what to do to help so she offered her hands to the reins,

"I can drive, Jess, you're tired of watching the road." She offered softly wanting desperately to help and dying to drive the new buggy. "You're all broken up and there's not a thing wrong with me."

"I AM watching the doggone road!" He almost shouted and gave her an amused annoyed look about nothing being wrong with her, just her thoughts all tangled up typical to a petticoat….

Josie could see his eyes were wet either from the cold hitting his face or from tears of pain and backed off grabbing her own right shoulder unfamiliar with feeling something in her body she couldn't justify and knowing Jess was pulling against his shoulder. Trying to learn about her empathy levels she asked,

"From one to ten, ten is ready to pass out, how much pain are you feeling right now in your shoulder, Jess?" Josie asked compassionately trying to see into his face and Daisy leaned forward worried just as much.

"50!" It was a terse and clipped answer trying to control his self being in overload from every emotional direction. "Just… give me…minute. (gasp!) 'is body's been down the road ….a ways."

Josie waited about one minute while Jess was still pulling on parts of his anatomy, then continued,

"How about your legs?"

"Vibration from the buggy's pounding keeps them from seizing."

"Is the buggy giving your shoulder problems, Jess? It seems heavier than the wagon was." Daisy was concerned, maybe Slim should drive.

"Buggy's a dream, Daisy. It's the horses that pull the weight. Heavier on this ice is actually better. Wouldn't have made it this far in the old wagon. Horses aren't struggling either. Never driven anything so balanced." Jess was trying to steel up against the pulling muscles and the consideration of the buggy helped his mind. "It's cold in here but we got trapped body heat. Slim's pro'bly froze."

Leaning in plus pulling lightly for several minutes he got the shoulder to unpinch before a renewed full cramp and restarted the buggy just as Slim caught up trying to check on the reason for the stop. He pulled Buck to a stop just as the buggy jerked forward and all he could see was upset faces.

"She seems like a really wonderful person, Jess. I'd like to get to know her. I'm not trying to pry into your personal habits." Josie softly apologized trying to be comforting on a happier topic.

"Yes you are!" He snapped.

"Well, ok then!" This twin also had a fuse and a temper, it was just less scarred. "You're an attractive man, Jess. Doggone handsome and women should be running you down like a wet rat. You rattled my heart before I found out you're my brother! You're as old as me and still single. She's beautiful … She's gorgeous! Dadgummit…. Her complexion is so perfect she could be a professional model in Denver, and I hear she can ride as good as any man."

"She is a special person but Jose, we just barely just met! I'm just getting to know her, too, and there's a beauty that goes much deeper than the outside fence. You two musta had fun talkin' 'bout me in the hall this morning." The cold was clamping down on both of their diplomacy and tact skills and he finally got out what had been nagging him. Daisy just shook her head at the siblings and was relieved this was not happening in front of their hosts.

"Huh?" She looked at him in surprise then smiled and snuggled back next to him re-pulling the blanket around them. "Silly twin! We weren't talking about you!"

He looked at her oddly at her snuggle now wondering what she was up to and almost pulled away. He was not used to being cuddled and fussed over in public like he was a small boy. But she had him captured pulling the blanket back to a secure hold….. and kept talking….and she was an immediate and definitive source of heat so it was hard to resist her…. 15 layers of clothes women wear must help in cold like this.

"We were talking about her and me, dummy!" She pulled his neck scarf closed for him tucking it in and under the sling tightly taking the wind off of getting into the coat and shoulder, and he watched nervously as her hands worked under his chin. "We both were wishing we'd had time to go shoppin' and have lunch somewhere, you know, do girl stuff, find out about each other and our past. I told her which college I went to and my degree and asked about hers and how much longer she had. I'd like to include her in my wedding, was feeling her out as a maid of honor, but we ran out of time…my fee-ancey there is a fast packer." She waved at Slim's stiff posture. "Isn't he just gorgeous! Even wrapped in all that packing…um…mm! Anyway, she's beautiful and I'm just dying of curiosity to get to know her. She gave me her address at the college and we agreed to write letters about ourselves so when she comes out in the spring we have that taken care of and can get down to life. I'm not quite sure, but it's possible she could turn out to be the sister I never had and always dreamed of, you know, growing up alone and all. She says if she hadn't had Kensie, she'd have gone mad being raised on a ranch full of men and two brothers. I'd like to know what you've learned, too, we can share information maybe I can get to know her faster. She's not that much younger than me… ..I mean… us."

Jess kept driving but turned slightly staring at Josie's mouth in amazement. First, because they covered that much topic in a short time, second, he got all of it with one question, was way easier than he'd anticipated and third, it hadn't involved him at all.

"What, Jess?" She smiled and frowned at the same time. "Something I said?"

He looked back to the road and studied the bum of the horses deep in thought and Josie bumped him gently with her bum.

"Jess?"

"Huh?" He wasn't going to tell Josie why he was so surprised.

"Talk to me."

Jess shrugged lightly with his left shoulder. "You covered all of that in just 5 minutes?"

"Well, no. That's the short version. We musta talked for at least 15 minutes….but it was all that kind of stuff. I didn't want to bore you with the details."

He was still stunned. "Detai? … Just…..you're ….and she's what…25?"

"I think so, maybe close to 26. Her birthday is in March."

"Mom was 5 years older than Maggie when they met. They even met because one of them had gotten married."

"How fascinating, but that's not what you're so upset about."

"…'s…. not ….? Women are wired different, 's all. Us guys have the hardest time trying to follow your trail. Man thinks he has you ladies all figured out and then find out you're on whole other road altogether AND going the other direction!"

"That's part of our charm, our allure, Jess. Keep you feller's awake…. Paying attention and all. Right, Ms. Daisy?"

"That's right, dear!" She smiled but kept to herself, enjoying the two twins new to each other figure it all out. "I wouldn't miss this for anything." She mumbled to herself.

"So tell me where you're at with Sarabeth? Acquaintance or future influence?" Josie persisted.

"Yes."

"Which?"

"Both I reckon." He mumbled.

"Jess, do I have to drag it out of you? Do you love her?"

"I'm cold, Josie and don't feel good. Body's been through hell the last year and half, my whole life has been changed, both personal with you as family and business with Slim and I'm staring at more. Trying to keep my head above water, right now. Best Christmas I've ever had followed by another dunk into the nightmare of the past that keeps chasing me down. Then I meet this beautiful person who's like nobody else I've ever met. I'm just…."

"Overwhelmed." She finished his sentence. "I understand." She reached under the blanket and put her arm around his lower back and rubbed it lightly in support. "Well, that's what I'm here for. You've been giving and giving helping me out, now it's my turn to help you. We'll just get through all this together and take it one day at a time."

"Ya….. all I can do… one boot in front of the other." He grumped as he tugged the reins moving the horses to the side of the rut containing a huge hole was just ahead fully clearing it this time.

"Well then, my first project is going to be getting you well and back on your boots. C'mon, let me drive. I took 2nd in the Western surrey event 3 years running…only person kept beating me had a newer surrey made out of luminatum something." She could never get "aluminum" said correctly and reached to grab the reins from him and he jerked them back away. The buggy horses brought their ears back questioning any new orders, like one to get out of the cold trotting on slippery roads.

"I can do this, Jose. Helps me think."

"Well then, at least you can lean into me and I can help support your back and leg." She shifted closer and pulled the blanket tighter putting her head on his shoulder briefly. This time Jess didn't scooch away and let her come in close and warm.

Slim brought Buck closer checking out the passengers and looked frozen to Daisy.

"Slim, why don't you crawl in here on the other side of Mike?"

"Too much load on the horses, Daisy. Let's just pull in for the night at the next town. Might be warmer tomorrow." His jaw was so tight in cold frozen it was hard to understand him.

In less than a half hour they pulled into a small town about 4:45 pm, it was already dark, and was a wide spot in the road with several buildings at the junction just before where they joined the Overland Trail. While Jess sat guard in the buggy at the curb they got adjoining rooms close to the door to save steps, unloaded the buggy at the 'hotel,' got the horses and buggy and trailer tucked into the livery stable and then walked, er… limped to the café where they piled up to the table closest to a roaring fireplace. All three buildings were within the same block next door to each other and Slim considered all three businesses were run by the same large family, in generations. Slim's wounded but healing calf muscle was both frozen and stiff it was immovable and he was hobbling as badly as Jess but the short walk helped on the kinks. They were in no hurry to pull off the coats, in fact Jess saw the fireplace and hunkered in front of it whilst shivering turning every few seconds like he was on a rotisserie rack and he was the last one to begin removing outer garments. He even drank his first cup of coffee whilst still standing butt up to the fireplace with his leather gloves still on his hands.

It was a family run café and had light business on a week day, so their table seemed to receive extra huge portions of the day's specials and they loaded up on hot coffee and cocoa. During supper Josie was sitting at Slim's left, Jess was on her other side at her left, then Daisy and Mike up next to Slim at a round table. They were all ravenous but the food was so piping hot it slowed their eating leaving plenty of room for conversation. The appetizer was split pea soup and Slim didn't care what it was as long as it was hot and he drank his from the bowl. Daisy was interested in tasting any new recipe. Jess, Josie and Mike all stared nose down into the bowl of gruel trying to figure out green food. The longer they sat in the very warm room and ate hot food, the better attitudes became.

"Sure was a shame to lose a barn like that. Never seen one that big." Jess offered while dipping into his soup and blowing on each spoonful. No one seemed to bite on the suggested topic and Jess frowned and diverted to the food, making a face and shaking his head like he'd bitten into raw, spoiled rhubarb at his first taste.

"Something wrong, Jess?" Josie asked.

"What kind of soup is this, Daisy? Never seen green soup." Trying to unpucker his face Jess pointed into the soup with his spoon.

"Seems to be a version of split pea soup, Jess. I like the added bacon." She offered, glad to be involved in the conversation and consulted as an authority on food.

"How do you split a pea?" Jess wondered as he poked through the brew with his spoon. "That'd be a long, boring job…cutting all them peas in half." He found a piece of cooked bacon and pulling the spoon up to look closer squinted at the tiny piece of almost unrecognizable favored meat. It was long and stringy.

"It's done through cooking the pea slowly, Jess, they open up, or fall apart. They generally use ham, but the bacon perks it up nicely. I think it's a peppered bacon, too." She explained.

Slim did a double look into his empty soup bowl but he'd drank it just to get something hot on his insides. His face was still very pink and stiff. Mike was lagging behind with Jess wondering if this food was human grade and started fishing in his bowl with his spoon, too.

"Never got to see the barn except on fire. You went back and looked with Josie, Slim. Could you tell from the ground print how big was it?" He tried another spoonful and opening comment again and got a bite in response.

" 'Bout twice as big as Chuck's gelding barn."

"Never got that tour neither." Jess griped and made another face with his second spoonful containing the forlorn looking bacon piece. The addition of the wimpy, overcooked piece of stringy gristle that was spongey was too much when combined with the odd green colored food. He got the spoonful swallowed but put the spoon down and pawed at his mouth like a pup ready to puke and it took masterful discipline to keep it down, then he swallowed a big mouthful of the hot coffee. Next he quickly grabbed a piece of hot bread, buttered it lavishly and quickly jammed a big bite so huge pieces stuck out of the corners of his mouth. And he sucked on it for a few moments before chewing or swallowing wiping one corner of his eyes with the butt of his thumb.

"Oh, ya, right. Well, it held 30 box stalls, 15 on each side, full loft they said. Each stall probably half again bigger than ours, hold one horse or a foaling mare, even be easy to put two geldings per if you needed to for winter. A hand who owned 2 horses could easy bunk them in one stall. Was a good size. Loft had a pulley was full of hay bales. That was a huge loss and fueled the fire, too. Always hated putting hay in a loft because it will fuel a fire and then you can lose your feed if the barn does go. But it keeps the hay dry and makes it easier to drop the feed down in each stall that way, too."

"What's a hay ba….what'd you say, bale?"

"Ya, Joe, Elroy's foreman was showing us one of the left over ones down in the mare barn. They have a contract with a crew travels around comes from Nebraska at harvest. This crew has a machine (1851) they pitch the cut and dried hay into a form, and crank down on a lever packs the hay into a form. They get the form filled and packed, then tie it off with wire. This crew makes what they call 'bales' that are rectangular, 'bout 1' x 1' by 3' long and about 100 pounds each. He says a trained crew can produce about 75 bales a day. Gets the hay outta the field and easier to store in a loft where they pulley the bale up from a huge door in the front of the loft. Joe says it's amazing how much these bales cuts down on waste and when they get enough rain in a year, they can get two cuts out of some of the better pastures."

"I'da liked to seen one of them…sounds like a great idea. Hunderd pound bale, though, 'at's pretty big. Twice the size of Tiger, there." Jess gestured at Mike and grinned at him.

"Ya, was a good barn, but for its size needed more doors for emergency like a fire. Wasn't any door on the back end, and secure as that makes it, that's where they put their prize Bolero. Made him at the biggest risk, hardest to get out in the fire. You saw that, Jess, trying to convince him to come out plus travel the entire length of a burning barn to get outside." Slim's face was beginning to thaw enough he could talk and lifted his refilled coffee cup for a sip…..well, more of a gulp.

Jess had his conversation started and finished the piece of bread. Thankfully, the main course arrived and he didn't have to finish the pea soup and quickly pushed it aside.

"So you'd have put him closer to the front near the doors?"

"That only puts other horses who take his place at the end at risk. No, better to put in a door at each end, and on that size barn, space two doors on each length. The ones on each length could be a stall that has a moveable out door for emergency use only. That way you have 4, enough exits in a hurry. Don't hafta always use all four doors and can always stack some of those bales along the door openings for draft control and then use the south door, or stack the hay bales in those stalls. At least you have the 4 doors as options in an emergency or for ventilation in summer. I'd have turned the length going north and south, too, 'stead of east and west. Get more natural prevailing wind ventilation that way and make the south door the main one. Can always put smaller human size doors anywhere you need access. What do you think, Josie, you saw the ruins?" Slim asked.

"I'd put the hay in a separate barn and maybe pulley the grain up to the loft. You could put a down spout in the middle of the barn with a receptacle on the floor and just open the oats up top and send them down the shoot to feed as necessary. Or a downspout to each end. Saw that at a stable I used in Denver, always thought it was smart." She didn't like the pea soup either and made a very unfeminine face that Mike laughed at.

"I've always like the off center roof design of the barn Pa built. I think that could be done with a log barn, too, maybe a long line roof on the west side that goes higher and then a shorter roof on the less windy side. Largest section of roof would get afternoon sun. Just use two different length support beams. That way the snow could blow off in the wind and you wouldn't get the weight on the roof from the snow. Wouldn't matter on the inside because the loft would hide it." Slim's analytical mind had kicked into gear.

"I saw that done, too, in Denver, only where the lower roof left a gap to the higher roof, they put in vertical windows spaced along the length. They were special order windows that was thicker glass but they let the sunlight into the middle of the barn and saved having to have so many oil lamp flames on the dark inside of the barn." Josie added. "That barn's loft had a slatted wood floor that let the light filter through and it was the one that put the oats in the loft and the hay in another building."

"I like the slatted ceiling idea. What do you mean windows on the shorter roof?"

Jess knew but he wanted a picture to send to Chuck. The waitress had taken their order on a pad of paper with a pencil and as she began delivering the main course, Jess caught her with a fingertip and asked for her pad and pencil. She was happy to hand it over…she was happy to get Jess anything he asked for…she was a young teenager. Did I mention she was a girl? She had a beautiful smile, too, was aimed at Jess every time she found something to deliver to the table.

"Can you draw me a diagram…I don't get what you're saying." He lied and handed it to Josie.

"Sure!" She was more than happy and cleared a corner of the table for a piece of paper she tore off the back of the pad and used the pad as a straight edge. Her drawing was quite well done drawn in perspective and specific. Jess watched as she drew left handed. Slim was on her right and couldn't quite see over her hand handling the pad as a straight edge but was peering best he could.

"Wow. That's good artwork, Jose. You do any painting?" Jess asked still working diversions but unconsciously he shivered, rubbed his trapped right arm then picked up the fork left handed. He was struggling left handed unable to cut his steak with the arm in a sling. It was a great, tender steak cooked just right could have been cut with the fork but it was swimming in brown beef gravy spilling out from the gravy lake in the stacked up mashed potatoes. He'd ordered a 12 ounce steak but it looked 18 ounces big and it had to have been served next to a mountain of at least two mashed potatoes. Did I mention the waitress was a teenaged girl maybe 16 years old...who kept smiling at Jess making sure he had anything he needed? The pain-strained face covered in multi-day scruff and near frostbite crustiness didn't seem to dissuade her staring either.

Studying her drawing for a moment Josie reached over without asking and tried to take Jess' knife to cut his steak for him but he jerked his knife away making a face with his eyebrows arched like she was treating him like a child. Undeterred, she just reached over with her own knife and fork and cut his steak anyway and kept talking. Slim and Daisy were watching and smiled at each other at the twin's antics. Mike was especially tickled at watching somebody else getting his food cut for him and he giggled. That drew Jess' attention to him and Jess made a face of angst in play back.

"Took a year of art in college, I'll have you know. Passed that one, too. Even had an oil I did that made the class exhibition. You'll never guess what the painting was." She baited Jess.

"Hmmmm. How many guesses do I get?" He was frowning at his prepared plate but before she'd finished he stabbed a bite of the cut steak rescuing it from being pushed overboard on his side and after dunking it in the gravy lake, jammed it into his mouth hungrily.

"One or none!" She teased back taking an obvious small bite of his steak as a taste in compensation for rendering aide, then returned to her own plate's 6 ounce filet putting a bird-sized piece in her mouth then picking the pencil back up and finished the drawing.

"Oh, this is a hard one…." He rubbed his temple as though thinking but ran into his shiner and winced. "Ow!... A horse of course." It was the biggest smile anybody had seen on his face in days.

When she was reaching for the paper he snuck a bite of her filet from under her hand as payback for stealing one of his bites. She didn't see him actually steal the bite but their antics did not go unnoticed by the others at the table.

"You know I could bandage that steak up and we could send it back to the herd." After swallowing he pointed with his fork at her rare cooked steak.

She winked at Slim but spoke to Jess, "I like my meat rare and tender." Slim blushed.

"I am better drawing animals. Here….will this do? Like this." She handed over the barn drawing with Slim looking over her shoulder not quite getting to see it. Jess looked and handed the drawing to Slim to see and Slim passed it on around the table. Josie now noticed the missing bite and looked suspiciously at Jess for her missing piece that had gotten stolen and Jess had an innocent look on his face with his eyebrows arched. Mike was watching and grinning behind his spoonful of potatoes. Josie cut another bite but immediately stabbed it and placed it into her mouth before he could abscond with it whilst frowning at Jess.

"Ya! I really like that." Slim smiled, too. "Get some sun light into the middle of the dark barn. As long as we're dreaming," he pointed with his little finger, "… I'd make a wider middle aisle as working space between the box stalls that are on the outer wall. Maybe even the width of a box stall. Could cross tie a horse for grooming or medicating and do the farrier work inside out of the sun and snow…less flies on a dry horse, warmer in winter. Especially with that many horses." Slim was impressed. "Need a separate building for the tack room, too. That way you don't lose all your tack if something happens to the barn. Their tack room was all crammed and overflowing around the door and the hands were tripping over crap getting the water line into the barn. They lost all their leather, blankets, saddle racks most of the tools. THAT will be expensive." Then he went in for a bite of his steak that came out oversized, too. The waitress had grinned at him, too, but Josie saw it and gave her a 'beware of' warning look and after the steak was delivered to Slim, the waitress had wisely backed off. "That many wranglers, they'd need bunked saddle racks at least 3 tiers high, tack room could get bad in a hurry. It looked like the saddle racks were single, 's probably why the mess. Horse operation needs a barn tuned to more than just cattle. Elroy's barn was set up for a cattle operation."

"I think with that many horses, on the outside I'd be putting water troughs along the long roof edge to catch rainwater where it runs off the roof. Horses could line up instead of piling on top each other, it would refresh the troughs during a downpour and the water'd be close in a fire." Jess stoked the fuel of dream conversation while chasing food on his plate one-handed. Occasionally he'd be busy chasing a piece of stacked potatoes that would keep sliding and Josie would reach over and put her fork down in front of it like a stake and he could shove up against it and get the spuds loaded. The first few times, he'd make a face at her, then he accepted the help because his food was cooling off too fast.

"Why not put the troughs on the short roof side?" Daisy asked from ignorant curiosity but they thought it was a suggestion.

The other three exchanged looks and shrugged. "Sure, why not. Good idea, Daisy. Put them on both sides, you double your firefighting resource." Slim piped. "Troughs aren't expensive, especially when you make them."

"Too bad you can't put those windows up top that can open and close so you could ventilate the inside of the stinky building." Daisy was on a roll. She'd ordered a casserole of some kind and was busy trying to decipher the recipe. Mike had ordered a 6 ounce steak like Josie's and he was too busy eating to talk and had gravy all over his cheeks.

"Could always go into the loft to open and close the windows. Either slide the windows open or prop them at the bottom keep rain from coming into the loft ruining the feed." Jess added. "They could run up a calendar for the hands assigned one day a month on rotation to take the duty say to open and close the windows per day, restock the food stashes, tidy the tack room and remove trash. Hand misses his duty day gets his pay docked. Each hand assigned a saddle rack and responsible for maintaining his own stall and horse. Sixty hands that's only one duty day every two months…ain't bad. Some good ideas, Slim. Could use this at home on the existing barn and any new expansions since we're taking in more cattle and hands…. We get up to 15 hands, that's 2 duty days a month, still not bad."

"Takes money, Jess, make all these improvements." Slim's business experience kicked in deflating the dreaming. In his mind he was still stuck on the meager stage income and forgetting Josie's estate money and the pending oil well.

"'At's what the oil profits could do, or where we could dip into some of Josie's estate money. Chuck doesn't have to have the edge in fancy upgrades, you know." Jess offered as the food was taking hold and his mind was taking on fuel. "I'd like to see a windmill like Chuck's got connected to a water tower keeping the tower full, pump it in over the top edge of the tower. Could put a wood lever on the top the tower that would trip when it's full and shut down the windmill, and open when the water level dropped. Put the water tower in the middle of the building complex with a pull down spout near the bottom that could be directed several points of the compass. In case of a fire in one of the buildings, you could direct the spout toward the building on fire and have running water flow toward the bucket line."

Josie interrupted, "Or mount a 'v-shape' trough on some small wheels, say buggy size about waist high, and roll the trough to whatever building or fire where you need it, maybe use the rolling troughs on the short barn wall as the daily trough."

Slim's forehead raised impressed with her ingenuity but it was Jess who continued,

"Could even put another spout under the water tower for a outdoor rinse off shower for the hands or for horses on dirty or muddy days. Then dig a trough to run the water off out away from the tower to maybe feed into a garden or grove of apple pie and peach trees. Maybe even build a raised wood floor like a dance floor under the tower, leave gaps between boards, you know, to cut down on the mud. Or!.." he shifted in his chair slightly being excited by ideas. "…make the floor solid but angle it just slightly to run off into a peach and apple orchard."

"Or herb and vegetable garden." Daisy inserted.

"Place gets big enough, you could mount several towers and catch spring and summer rains off the other building's roofs. It's the elevation of the tower that provides the movement of the water to the need by using gravity. Ranches as big as them should really have a water wagon filled at all times. We really need a water tank at our place, Slim, 's close to the timber as we live …. "

Jess was on a roll, and was a more comfortable topic than women's confusing ways. He dipped into the left overs off Josie's huge portion of uneaten mashed potatoes and gravy since she'd put her fork down and stopped eating. Josie had her elbow on the table and was leaning her chin on her hand watching him shovel food into his mouth and, amazed at his unapologetic freedom, just watched him help himself without asking. Then he took another huge forkful of her uneaten potatoes.

Slim was dumbfounded at Jess's ideas and he stopped chewing staring at Jess who'd gone back to his plate and was polishing off his last bite of steak. The others at the table stopped, too, and they all stared at Jess. It got very quiet all of a sudden as Jess was mopping the last of his gravy with a piece of bread. With his cheeks filled with the steak like a chipmunk eating nuts, he stopped and looked back at them talking with his mouth full.

"What? She wasn't finishing hers and I just needed one more bite of potato." Nobody still said anything so he wiped his hand on his scruff checking for spillage. "I miss my mouth? Cheeks are still frozen."

Without moving off her chin Josie pointed her finger at Jess and looked at Slim.

"Where's he coming up with all these great ideas? I thought you told me he didn't even finish high school."

Slim pointed his fork back at Jess.

"That's what he told me." Slim's mouth was full and corners dripping. His and Jess' plates were more platter sized and mounded up enough for 3 people and he'd been trying to keep up speed with Jess. He looked at Jess. "And since when did you get so good at 'xplaining things?"

Jess smiled at Slim. "I got a good teacher."

"He always eat that much food?" Josie looked between Slim and Daisy.

"Bottomless pit." Daisy muttered. "Never gains any weight, either. It's pathetic."

"It's all that muscle, Daisy." As she talked she reached over and grabbed a handful of Jess' bicep and squeezed it while looking at Slim. "Science professor told us muscle burns more calories. You ever hug him, Slim? He's solid muscle." Jess watched her grabbing his arm, but it was in the sling so he couldn't move it.

Slim gave her a wary eye shaking his head with a definite "no".

"Huh ah….I've felt the end of that muscle a few times, don't NEED any hugs telling me what I already know." He smiled and massaged his jaw softly with a twinkle in his eye looked at Jess.

Undaunted by the topic interruption Jess reached for a sip of hot coffee.

"Ya know, I'm gunna figure out how he got running hot water into that indoor shower, too! Just need to get some sleep first….so's my brain can function." Then he stuffed the last bite of gravy soaked bread into his mouth and pulled the napkin out of his collar as he chewed, wiped his mouth and burped quietly into it. "Daggum good steak, wonder where they get their beef?"

"I'd be happy with an indoor privy." Daisy spoke softly looking at them coyly. "And a herb garden."

"Oh, here it comes! I knew we'd get that one on the task list!" Slim complained teasingly while tossing his fork down softly and wiping his own mouth in the napkin. He smiled and winked at Daisy letting her know he was teasing and she smiled back.

The waitress returned and started gathering empty dishes and in the commotion still chewing but leaning back into his chair, with slight of hand Jess slipped the drawing paper off the table, folded it under the table and stuffed it in his vest pocket. Then he took another swig of coffee the waitress refreshed.

"Where you folks buy your beef?" Jess asked out of curiosity.

"Wentworth cattle, Sir. They have a ranch just west of here and once the Peters tasted one, they won't serve anything else. People constantly comment how it melts in your mouth. How was it?"

Everyone at the table smiled at each other and Jess grinned back at the waitress while rubbing his stomach, "Perfect! Best beef we've ever tasted."

"Wished they dig hogs. We can't find any decent pork around here. Hey, Momma Peters makes a mean hot apple and peach cobbler, be coming out of the oven in about 2 minutes. Dessert anyone?"

The waitress may have been a young teenage girl but she had the charisma for a natural sales person who could sell swamp land in Florida during a summer downpour and there were not a lot of people for her to work on in the room. Jess groaned and shook his head wondering if he could find a corner of his body that wasn't full yet. He was stuffed with the over generous sized steak, but she said the magic words. So he stood up slowly from the table, readjusted his clothing slightly to compensate for the warm room, the full stomach and checking for any empty pockets inside his body to cram more apple cobbler into. While the waitress watched in curiosity Slim looked at Jess' antics while leaning back in his chair unwilling to leave yet.

"Where are you going?"

"No where. Just shuffling it all down a bit, checking for more room for some hot apple…." His eyebrows were arched in justification. "'hey, 'er's apple pie in the room, I sure ain't leaving it."

Daisy had her hand on her forehead looking down into her plate shaking her head, more apple pie and where does he put it? Josie and Mike were looking at each other and giggling into their napkins and Slim's forehead went up in understanding and amazed once more at Jess' capacity for food intake. Jess looked at the waitress and half smiled;

"My experience if ya let that cobbler set just about 3 minutes out from the oven? ….I'll have made room for some, Miss. Don't suppose you sell peaches or peach jelly?"

"One cobbler, yes, Sir. Mom Peters has a peach orchard behind the restaurant and she puts up tons of preserves every year. Sells them up at the front counter. Anyone else?" She was grinning ear to ear at their jauntiness understanding Jess needed about 5 minutes not 2, to let dinner slide down a bit before dessert…..she was a savvy waitress.

"Anybody split one with me?" Josie was not to be outdone.

"I will!" Mike quickly volunteered and Slim held up a finger to the waitress to have a serving. Daisy declined politely and not to miss a chance to increase the ticket the waitress touched her shoulder ever so lightly;

"How about I pack yours to go for later?"

"That'd be fine. We have an apple and peach varmint that keeps absconding with our sweets…I'm sure I'll have help later." Daisy gave in knowing somebody would find and eat it…and she shot a side look at Jess who was readjusting his tight jeans to sit down again. The waitress followed her eye direction to Jess who looked back up at Daisy with a disgusted face as if she was insinuating him to be "a varmint" and the waitress giggled, swiveled and disappeared before Jess could get anything said so he just glared at Daisy. He was having difficulty getting back into the chair because both legs were swollen and numb from the cold and his shoulder had begun a new symphony in discordant sounds over the abuse of being used from the day now thawing out. Hanging onto chairs sitting at empty tables he ended up gimping a slow stiff hike to the front cash register, found the shelf of homemade goodies, quickly grabbed a jar, returned to and flopped back into the chair with a grimace and Josie reached for the chair back to steady it.

"Did you find some of Maggie's peaches?" Slim asked being very curious what Jess had snapped up.

"Don't think so. The one up there doesn't say "cloves." Found this though …" He read the label.. "Prepared Horseradish Sauce" and handed it to Slim. "Says its course ground. Looks like the stuff Maggie serves on that prime rib. Horseradish must be a plant, Slim, got a picture here on the label."

Slim was busy reading the label and Daisy wiggled her fingers asking to see it, so he handed it to her.

"I used to fix horseradish sauce all the time back east. Maggie offered me some seeds to grow some when the ground thaws. I didn't know you knew about it. You make the sauce from the roots." She advised.

"Seen some plants up in the new pasture with those little white flowers on it. Hafta pick some so you can see the roots, Daisy." Jess offered.

"The plant is edible too, Jess. It's bitter but adds a spicy flavor when it's cooked." She handed the jar back and Jess set it by his coffee cup to take with them. "I got a copy of Ada's salsa recipe so I can fix some for you when we get some tomatoes. Be nice to grow a garden somewhere." She hinted.

The waitress brought their desserts on a tray and began passing them out.

"I split your helping onto two plates for you, Ma'am. Mom Peters says she usually makes the peach preserves from a recipe she got from Mrs. Wentworth because they exchange peach seeds, but she ran out of cloves this year and they are waiting a new, larger shipment from Mrs. Wentworth's east coast source. Supposed to be arriving by March, so the new batch of preserves will be back to the original recipe. Mom Peters can't keep it on the shelf 'cause even marked up higher in price it sells out so fast when its got the cloves in it. She used the last of her clove peaches in this cobbler batch. Hope you like cloves."

Jess picked up his plateful looking longingly into his two favorite flavors. "How large is this batch?"

The waitress held her hands apart showing abou 12" dish 4" tall.

"Can you pack it to go? I'll buy the whole thing and whatever containers it will travel in."

"Sure! Be right back." The waitress was grinning ear to ear and bounced back into the kitchen. It was baked in a stoneware dish and they put that into a lidded wooden crate a little larger and then wrapped it in a larger handled picnic-style basket. …..a talented salesperson. Jess didn't care, to him she was a working, single female who justified and qualified in his mind for a large tip, even if she was obviously still a teenager.

Jess savored every bite so slowly everyone else was wondering if he could finish all his food, but he was simply enjoying the flavors and he quieted down deep in thoughts or memories. He paid for the entire meal, the extra food and left a huge tip that probably equaled the waitress' full month's pay. They could hear the waitress squeal in delight after they went out the front door. Mom Peters threw in the horseradish for free and sent a jug of hot cocoa with them. Jess carried the carryout cobbler to the hotel and put it on the nightstand on his side of the bed. Maggie made clove infused peach preserves, but he'd never tasted a hot cobbler. He found her replacement crate of peach preserves when they re-loaded the buggy the next morning and it was packed next to his feet, too, under the cobbler.

Slim had gotten adjoining rooms at the hotel, one for the ladies and the other for the guys, one bed in each room and Mike got tucked in between Slim and Jess, jumping with glee into the middle of the bed in anticipation. He enjoyed contact with both Slim and Jess because they were both man sized humans and had lots of muscles he could feel which fascinated him. Back at the room they had seconds on the hot cocoa and everyone nibbled on Daisy's portion of cobbler sent home with them as a second dessert. They were happy they stopped early because as they were drifting to sleep the wind began to howl and they were relieved the livery stable had been large and empty enough for all their horses and the buggy/trailer. Jess had the hardest time of the group trying to settle and he shivered under the provided bedding rocking the whole bed. Slim had to go to the front desk to retrieve extra firewood plus two extra blankets to pile on him and Slim actually didn't mind raising the level of the fire in the fireplace. Somewhere just before dawn Jess finally stopped trembling enough that the bed quit shaking. Slim didn't mind sharing a bed with Jess if Mike was in the middle between them and he certainly wasn't going to sleep up next to Jess like Sarabeth had done. So unbuckling was another matter and Jess was on his own there. Mike was in hog heaven trapped between two big men who generated more heat than Daisy and were less cuddly. He started snuggled up to Slim's heat and during the night as Jess stopped trembling, Mike snuggled up to Jess' back. His last comment for the night with his nose under the blanket was his thrill that all piled together in the bed must be what having a family is all about and he loved it.

The next morning pre-dawn after putting down as equally robust and delicious hot breakfast at the same place that Slim paid for and their new carry out jug being refilled with more hot half cocoa half coffee they were back on the road early as the sun peaked over the horizon. Jess had the waitress make several pancake, bacon and egg sandwiches wrapped in metal foil so they could be eaten en route as lunch. They arrived in Laramie early the next afternoon and due to the recent snow and weather indications of another building blizzard, they had to stop in town on the way to the ranch to send the wire to Maggie and grab some pantry items. After breakfast Jess had become completely silent and back in the cold had been scowling the whole day and Josie was shifting and fidgeting just as much. So Daisy figured Jess was hurting badly but just not telling anyone and Josie was empathizing. She insisted on stopping at the doctor's office before the store. She asked Slim to take the buggy do the wire, pick up the pantry items from the store and he got back to the doctor's office in time to hear the doctor pronounce Jess did have a break in his right shoulder blade but it was more of a punctured hole cave in at the middle of the bone and not a complete fracture across the bone. He described it as an oval indention with a corner and would have spider-like veins break running out from it and that it was still caved it and not closing. He wondered how Jess could even move with the pain such an injury would cause. He advised two options. First they could continue to let it try to heal unassisted and the body should eventually fill in the cracks but because it was concave, it would become a problem as Jess aged and he'd lose mobility earlier in life. Second, they could find a specialist to do surgery on his back and push the bone back into a level plane. Would take longer to heal, but would be a stronger bone through later years. Daisy got the doctor to admit that when he had palpated the middle of the shoulder blade he'd had to catch Jess from falling off the exam table because Jess passed out from pain. She wanted to know because sitting in the waiting room with Daisy and Mike, Josie almost passed out just sitting the chair from their empathy and she smothered her shriek of pain in her hands as she folded over. Daisy wanted to be sure Josie wasn't sick. The doctor re-bound Jess' right arm completely down to his body totally immobilizing it under his shirt but over the long underwear leaving only fingers loose at his ribs over by his left hip. He changed the bandage over the stitches in his hip wound that had mostly closed, and re-wrapped the left hand's second degree burns chewing Jess out for being out of bed and driving with his left hand in its condition. Had the blisters broken during the driving Jess' hands could have become scarred for life. The thigh bruises from the hoof raking were a mixture of fresh bruises from the use of the leg and reduced swelling from being in the cold weather for two days. The doctor believed the thigh had only soft tissue injury and may have cracked vertically along the old break, but had not completely re-broken on the old vertical line. When he was finished with Jess' wounds, he marched Jess back to the waiting room where Slim had just arrived and ordered them to put Jess to bed and hog tie him for two weeks and keep him off the legs. He was prohibited from getting up from bed with the exception of eating a meal at the table and using the lu, or if they could make something in his bedroom that was better than going in and out of the cold. The doctor told Daisy to keep him filled with hot food, hot milk, anything hot until he could stop shivering and thaw out and unless it was hot water and remaining in a very hot room, to not get him wet for a week especially his head or they were facing pneumonia. Jess still refused the laudanum because it makes him nauseated and morphine was out of the question, so the Doc told him to quit moving the body and arm so he could heal and stop the pain. It was a stern lecture and one of the few times any of them had seen Jess look like his tail was tucked and ears back in total submission without arguing back. In addition to the physical exhaustion of the last week, under the multi-day scruff his skin was ashen grey and he had dark circles under his eyes. With uncombed hair, he barely looked like the Jess they were familiar with.

They bundled back up, grabbed a few staples of groceries they could pack onto Buck with an oat sack for Mike to sit on, and made it home at dark, or a winter's 4:45 pm with the wind picking up and huge snowflakes beginning to fall. Jess was complaining about air pressure again so they knew another blizzard was building. As they were pulling into the ranch Slim rode next to the buggy and began to instruct them of his plan to get unloaded and tucked in before the blizzard began in earnest. They were going to park all horses next to the kitchen door, the buggy would be unloaded into the kitchen, the cargo trailer in through the house's front door. Daisy and Josie were to light all the lanterns and fireplaces while he and Mike moved Jess' bed into the dining room where the desk was, putting the desk in the men's bedroom on an outside wall, the bunk on the wall where Jess' bed had been. He didn't want Jess lifting anything, or going into more cramps, and to just get his self into the bed. Slim would unload the animals and buggy to the door and the ladies would start supper and move the packed items from the doorways to the appropriate bedrooms. Kitchen items were stacked on the outside wall with the pantry items as insulation. He had Mike assigned to keep bringing in loads of firewood from the lean to barn area between the fireplace and the kitchen and stacked as high as Mike could without crawling on anything. Then Slim would tuck the horses in the barn, feed them, and bring in the stage teams housed in the barn during the blow of the blizzard. Then they could eat. He planned on fixing up an indoor lu before turning in for the night and on the morrow, they would blanket up the windows and make a better lu. He reported the wire room in the stage depot was reporting because of the expected wide spread blizzard all stage routes were being diverted for a week. So it was hunker down and wait it out.

Well,… they pulled up to the house and everyone scattered following their assignments, or so they thought. Slim and Mike went inside and re-arranged furniture while Daisy and Josie lit fires and started supper, a home canned leftover of Maggie's special recipe that could be reheated like a casserole in the oven and Daisy started some dough for biscuits. Everything was being unloaded and moved from the doorway, Mike was coming and going with loaded arms of firewood and kindling. Slim noticed Buck and Traveler disappeared from the kitchen door and he began unloading the buggy believing the ladies had gotten the two horses unloaded. But he came in the door having found the buggy's trailer emptied inside the front door and he had his first armload of buggy items and looked at Jess' bed in the dining room and saw it heaped with fluff – bedding coats and such….but not Jess. Mike fell in the door behind him trying to regain his balance with armloads of firewood stacked high enough it was blocking most of his view.

"Anyone seen Jess? Is he in that bed under all that stuff?" He scurried in closing the door behind himself and Mike.

Just then they heard a crashing sound in the ladies' bedroom and rushed in finding Josie on the floor holding her right shoulder, white as a ghost and her face all grimaced in deep pain gasping for air. Slim was the first one to reach her side.

"Josie!" He nearly yelled. "What's…?"

She was breathless, still white, "I don't know….SSsli. Just hit …me….hardl…breathe."

Then she looked wildly around…. "Where's Jess?"

"I don't know, was just looking around for him. Mike, Daisy…either of you seen Jess?"

Mike and Daisy were just inside the bedroom door at Slim's back as he helped Josie sit up onto the bed.

"I haven't, Slim. Have you, Mike?"

"Ya….me and him ran into each other in the barn….only 2 lanterns going out there. Had an armful of wood didn't see him….he made this weird noise wasn't even sure it was him, but I had to get the wood picked up and get it in here!"

Slim's forehead raised knowing exactly what happened. "Oh doggone...shoulda known….cowboy."

Josie had her hand full of coat on Slim's chest ready to commence pulling skin off him in desperation … she'd gotten her air back. "Cowboy!? Cowboy?" She looked wildly into Slim's face.

Slim stood to his feet to head at a run out the door. That lifted Josie to her feet without her even trying because she'd latched onto his lapels….now running behind him being dragged by Slim. He felt her weight and it stopped him and looking into her face saw her fright and desperation.

"Itsa cowboy thing, Josie….and all Jess." She still looked puzzled. "To a cowboy, aside from death alone, his horse is everything and generally all the family they know…you take care of your horse first, yourself last….until you can't stand on your feet….that horse is life and death for a cowboy. That horse for Jess was tied onto the back of my horse for 2 days carrying a load." He was still getting a look of desperation off Josie so he cut to the chase. "He's in the barn… taking care of the animals." Slim gently but purposefully pulled her hands off his lapels and pushed past everyone. "In his condition and in the cold, barely able to sit let alone stand… if he and Mike collided, likely that ran smack into his thighs and threw him off balance onto the shoulder. I've got to get out there."

It took Josie and Daisy several strides, Mike even more, to make the 3 strides that Slim took running back out the kitchen door, but by the time they reached the barn, the two ladies with a couple more lanterns, they were all in step. Inside the barn, now illuminated some, they saw the two buggy horses in one box stall wearing their barn blankets, Alamo in his, Buck in his, the stage horses were in the largest box stall and Traveler was in his stall tucked in with Scout. The neighbor had brought back Alamo, Scout and the milk cow earlier in the day and she was in her stall. The stage teams were together in the box stall munching happily on a big bale of fresh hay and oats from their buckets and had 12" of fresh straw fluffed over their lower legs… …. It was a crowded barn which made it warmer for the horses, but no Jess.

"JESS!" Josie hollered but Slim screamed over running her in volume behind Josie's female voice…. "JESS!"

Slim jogged up to each stall of the tightly packed barn looking at the floor of each stall checking in case Jess had fallen. "JESS!" Slim yelled again trying not to frighten the horses. "Mike go check the house again. Daisy, see if his peach stuff is still in the front of the buggy." Slim was already in tracking mode and maybe Jess'd finished with the horses and started in on the buggy. Jess wouldn't be far away from all that peach stock and cobbler leftovers, and to Jess' system of priorities it was horse first, peaches next chased by apple pie. Josie was still holding her right shoulder and frowning, fighting tears. Slim turned and saw her face looking like she was ready to fall apart onto the barn floor and took her gently by the shoulders shook her softly.

"Josie look at me. Jess always tells me he has to quiet himself down to pick up on you. Jose, try to single in on him, focus for me." She was trembling so he kissed the tip of her nose as encouragement. "You can do this for me, Babe."

Her eyes were wide but she drank in every ounce of instruction then she focused with some effort into his face and he tried to coach her with his eyes. "That's it, I know you can to this, Jose."

"SHh!" She jammed her eyes closed grasping his coat and her forehead sank into his chest and she focused. To Slim it was an eternity. Josie was fighting back tears… and whispering,

"Talk to me Jess….! He's cold…hot, not like sweaty hot on a summer day working in the sun but inside feverish like the flu, but frozen outside and shaking like a leaf in a storm." She took one hand loose from the front of Slim's coat and waved it like it had fallen asleep and muttered, "that's probably me ….oh!" then she slapped her hand back the front of his coat and grabbed a handful of coat so hard and deeply she missed most of the coat and got too deep on his shirt and her grip included Slim's peck muscle. He instantly winced, grabbed her wrist and eased his chest muscle loose from her grasp.

She opened her eyes looking entreatingly into Slim's face….. "Dad gum, Slim, the pain in my shoulder …. I'm so weak I can barely…." She sucked in air…. "stand up ..let alone… feel him."

"Ain't nothing weak about you, Jose." He kissed her hand containing her lobster claw and still holding the second hand, with the back of his other rubbed the pinched chest muscle to soothe it. His face was still inches in front of her face trying to get her to focus. "It's got to be the empathy with Jess."

"Are you injured, Josie?" Daisy coached.

"No….I'm fine …. Little stiff from the cold, but…"

"We can assume that's him then since you wouldn't be able to justify it physically. Can you pick up on an attitude…or…or…what did he call it? An emotion!?" Slim was back to coach.

"I just want to cry it hurts so much and I can't move, nothing works. Feel so helpless and discouraged because I'm so weak." Between her own desperation, fear of losing Jess, knowing he had been getting weaker through this second day of travel, the whole emotion of the last week, Josie was in no shortage of emotion.

Slim looked at Daisy and then stood to gain his full height looking around the barn "She's feeling this really strong, he's got to be close, in or near the barn… JESS!" Goes without saying that Slim was a quick learner applying his knowledge of Jess, having watched Jess deal with his side of the empathy and now reading it with the new twin who was still learning hers.

Mike arrived, "I can't find him inside. The trailer is empty, unhitched, closed and backed up to the front door under the front window. The peach stuff from the buggy is in the kitchen on the sink counter and the snow's not broke to the outhouse neither!"

Slim popped Mike's shoulders having to grin at the gumption. "I'll make a trail hand of you yet. Good boy, Tiger!"

"Mike, please fill the chicken coop with feed and close them in as they jump in to eat. They're getting stepped on out here." Daisy instructed. "If you find any unbroken eggs, take them inside."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"JESS!" Slim yelled one more time turning to check the inside of the barn for anything that moved.

"Nobody breathe!" He ordered, but instinctively began walking toward Traveler while tucking Josie into Daisy's hold. Traveler was standing off center. Scout was stalled next in with Traveler who seemed to be munching his mouthfuls of oats but only with his head down instead of level to the bucket. "Where's the man, Trav… talk to me, son."

Sure enough as Slim rounded the stall he could see Traveler seemed to be standing more to one side of his stall, reach for a mouthful and then chew it with his head lowered and sniffing something at his feet, standing carefully over a mound of straw. Several dozen pieces of oats fell from his muzzle almost like he was sharing his food. At the same time Slim's boot toe hit something hard and he heard a very quiet, deep bass groan and a length of the straw Traveler was nearly straddling jerked slightly. Slim eased in alongside skootching Traveler over to the side of the stall and that moved Scout further over on the other side of Traveler who laid his ears back, snapped his tail and pushed back. Male territory didn't matter to Josie and cooing to Scout she slid to the floor under both of them and quickly began brushing the straw off the mound at Traveler's feet. That distracted the geldings but shoved Slim into the corner of the manger.

"Jess!" She cooed. "We're here, we found you."

Slim was still trying to hold Traveler to the side of his stall and Traveler snapped his tail again and reached sideways with his mouth to snap Slim's elbow. Slim was trying to hold his temper over the territorial dispute, but he understood the horse, this horse in particular, was only protecting his human sensing something wrong so he just pointed his finger in the horse's nose as a warning.

Staying clear of the now very crowded stall Daisy began coaching Josie.

"What are you finding, Josie?"

"He's very cold, barely breathing, not sure he's even conscious, clammy, trembling hard, and his breathing is way off. Jesse? Can you hear me? Could use more light down here." She'd gotten the top of his body cleared. Daisy lowered the lantern she was holding. Jess was laying mostly face down but his body was turned parallel with Traveler and on his left side could not use the right arm to push himself off the stall wall or roll over which would have only put him underneath the horse. So he was trapped against the stall wall, looked like he had maybe wiggled himself under some of the extra straw as insulation. A couple of pieces of firewood were on the ground a few feet away.

Still leaning lightly against Traveler Slim passed a diagnosis.

"Jess has told me more than once how much he trusts this horse and being under him. Looks to me he's just wiped out and back to fighting off shock again. So sick of seeing him in shock…. There's no evidence of a struggle, he probably just finished with Traveler and collapsed at his feet or the firewood Mike was carrying hit his legs, probably tried to get under some straw before he passed out… actually pretty smart considering a tight barn and all the heat from these animals. He's gotten the hatches closed down."

Slim's face was puckered in emotion understanding the cowboy creed and companionship with those few horses with whom you truly bond. These two had been together a long time and was the only family Jess had lived with for an eternity, so he knew their bond was special, living and surviving life. Jess would instinctively have turned to Traveler to hunker down with if he were losing consciousness. Even now, Traveler's pushing him away hadn't seemed like a stallion challenge, but a rebuttal to maintain his balance from stepping on Jess the horse knew was at his feet until Slim discovered that was where Jess was. Once Slim eased onto his knees in the stall Traveler didn't push, just monitored the mound under himself.

"Josie, come up out of there, I'll back Trav out and you can hold him so I can pick Jess up and get him inside the house. Once I get Jess out, you can release Trav back in here and just close his stall door. They will all need water by morning, but would be smart to top them for the night, the doors and shudders sound tight."

Josie was already on her feet backing out of their way, wiping tears from her face as Slim inched Trav gently out of the stall and she took his halter. Traveler dragged his hooves going backward seemingly to be sure not to step on his cowboy. He nickered softly as he was backed out but Josie was holding his head too high to nuzzle his favorite human and he stood obediently very close to Josie's shoulder and cheek. While munching his oats the horse watched Slim reach over Jess and pull more straw out of the way repositioning it centered in the stall where Traveler's legs would be covered and warm where he would eventually return to standing overnight. He'd seen Jess pack straw up around their legs before during storms. The straw would help heat their legs and hooves in the night cold and feel good especially after trotting for two days in snow and ice. As if handling a carton of raw eggs Slim gently pulled Jess by the coat to turn him, Jess stirred but not quite getting fully focused in between movement, he managed a few groans and words.

"Sl…" Jess gasped hard, somehow the pain was getting through the numbing cold.

"Here, Jess. We found ya. Don't move. Let me do it."

"…. need…..sec … just wat…. er" It was a few seconds. "Then done.."

"I've got it, Jess. You did good, everything in here is high and tight. You are relieved of duty, stand down." Slim was downright "P.O'd" Jess hadn't followed orders to go straight to bed but this wasn't the time….and he should have anticipated Jess knowing Jess always charts his own course.

As Slim was getting Jess positioned to move lifting him in a shoulder carry Jess' frozen shoulder shifted. Jess sucked in a hard gasp that even sounded like a cry of pain and curled folding himself hard into Slim's body trying to smother it and a gasp into Slim's coat. It was from a deep spasm somewhere from the chasm inside his shoulder and from exhaustion. Slim felt Jess come into his body so he grab ahold and held him into his chest, purposefully out the geography of the shoulder. Slim held the injured area and with his huge, long hands placed pressure on the back of the entire shoulder in support to try to get the gathering spasm to release. He could feel Jess' leg muscles were rigid but trembling in the cold could seize any moment into another cramp and his shoulder wasn't far behind in gathering headed to another hard knot. He had kneaded Jess' body several times from cramping muscles and could feel them gathering again just like the nightmare in the bed two nights ago. Slim's eyes were watering in hope some of the warmth of his body could seep through to Jess and added pressure to intercept the gathering knots. It was a slow, yet firm pressure and the stronger the pressure, the deeper Jess let out a long, deep groan into Slim's chest as the intercept gradually began to work and he could feel the power in Slim's hold redirecting the intent of the cramping muscles. As Jess' shoulder became detoured in its intent Jess began to release a long, groan-filled gasp in relief and he tried gathering a deeper breath.

"Shoulder?

Jess barely nodded yes. "T..'anks, Par…." Jess swallowed hard with not enough air to finish his word. "Legs are gone…so cold…..can't feel."

The threatening spasm eased off and Jess released his gasp and his head fell back so quickly Slim was too slow to catch it. But Josie was kneeling facing Slim and caught his head and eased it still while planting a soft kiss on Jess' temple. Slim, though had the angle as Jess' head fell back his eyes flickered open and Slim could see the pain in Jess' eyes …and how far to the end of his rope his pard was at. Slim shook his head slowly fighting off his own tears.

"I'm going to shoulder carry you, Jess. It'll hurt….but I don't know a….better… Don't want you to cramp up again either so I'll go slow…..try to get them muscles of yours to turn loose."

"Can't …hurt worse…. Every….th….. ."

"Pretty tight in here, Slingshot, so you'll pull us both down if you even twitch, Jess. Just trust me, ok?"

Jess' response was a soundless 'ya' that came out more as a gasping sigh.

Josie was standing in front of Traveler's nose and leaning down trying to help Slim by putting her hand on Jess' back to steady things.

"He's going to pass out, Jose, just so you know. Don't worry, I've got a good hold, ok?"

Josie's eyes were leaking as she checked Slim's face and she managed to mouth the "ok" and still held Jess' back with one hand and Traveler's halter with the other.

Slim knew Jess was going to lose consciousness before he even stood up because he knew Jess' natural athletic sense of balance that enabled all the horse trick stunts would try to brace by reflex action in counter balancing moves that Jess would be unable to stop. But those counter moves would create the pain spasms that would hit Jess from movements lifting him slowly onto his broad shoulders and cause Jess to pass out. As weak as he'd just seen from Jess' eyes, it would not take much more pain to wipe him out of consciousness. As he slowly stood he did feel every muscle in Jess' body pull hard trying to brace as expected and Slim paused at pertinent points to ease them as much as possible and finally got to his feet with Jess spread like a blanket over his shoulders. He basically slow pressed Jess' 175 pounds in a paused standing lift and Slim could tell the exact second where, as expected, Jess' body completely sagged and relaxed as he left consciousness. And as expected, he did lose consciousness without one sound. Slim's forehead went up and with his own overly wet eyes he slightly shook his head sideways feeling not only the cold clamminess of Jess' body but it was also less firm, almost squishy in spots from where the injury sites were dinged.

"Ok, he's out, ladies. We can move a little faster. This man is exhausted, let's get him inside. MIKE, doors!" Mike had gathered 3 eggs but ran fast to handle opening and closing doors for Slim.

"Yes, Sir!"

Jess only weighed 175 pounds when healthy and was running too much to the light side as he'd lost weight over the repeated hard injuries and stress of the last 18 months. Still those pounds were solid muscle and muscle is heavy. A momentary smile flitted across his eyes. Jess and Josie may be twins and each of them a perfect specimen of the human body. She was sized just right for her height, weight maybe 115 pounds wet and definitely womanly-shaped outfitted with a small waist between equally matched top and bottom parts, but she weighed nothing compared to Jess. Her body was….well…. soft and definitely womanly, especially those curves…. dangerous curves a man could get lost… for days… For a moment balancing Jess across his shoulders he wondered why.. had to be the muscle factor. He could lift and carry Josie for days and never tire and she barely weighed enough to flatten his back out laying on his chest. He saw Josie's shape gliding through the shadows and she had Traveler tucked back in by then as she snuck a kiss on the horse's muzzle and one to Scout bunked in with Traveler. As he watched Traveler nuzzle Josie's back Slim was very grateful Jess' twin was just as tuned to horses as her twin and wondered if a horse could smell or sense a sibling relationship.

"Josie can you top off all the water buckets for me? With the wind let's leave the lanterns out, make sure the doors are latched inside. Daisy would you check the buggy for anything else I need to carry in? Mike, once I'm inside, lets finish getting the firewood inside – toss it in the corner by the fireplace if you have to, we can stack it pretty later – I want to get these doors closed and start trapping heat inside these buildings. This storm's about to blow and it's gunna be a long night." As he headed through the door pathways Slim mumbled, "Can't imagine what this weather air pressure is doing to Jess' body."

Everyone began bustling in their assignment. Only Traveler and Scout needed more water, Jess had done the rest. Just outside under the lean-to Daisy found the buggy perfectly parked up under the lean to with the hitch rigging tucked up to the bunkhouse door. There were just a couple extra items left in the buggy which were small and she lowered the tarp on the outside of the lean to and tied it down to the buggy. Jess had built the shelter before the trip so she secured it enclosed within the lean to then carried the items inside. Mike finished the firewood, Josie battened down the barn. Daisy stirred the supper as she breezed past Slim and pulled the bedding back so Slim could ease Jess into the bed. Slim had opted to move the bunk bed to the inside wall for Jess, the added bed on top could trap additional stagnant heat or sleep Mike. The top bunk was on a moveable head and footboard as needed. It was the first time Slim had ever seen Daisy throw clothes and bedding on the floor as she made up Jess' bed. As Slim eased Jess to the edge of the bed Daisy took over ramrodding efforts. She wanted Jess' tight jeans, boots and socks removed and she retrieved his extra pair of long handles, his thick robe, slippers and 2 pair of clean socks from his dresser and then helped Josie hold Jess up while Slim pulled off the coat, ungirthed the boots, jeans and belts. Daisy wanted unobstructed blood flow and most of the cold outerwear off so that the warmer house air could get to Jess' body and the circulation could flow. Taking from the pattern she'd seen Maggie do, she talked Slim and Josie through the necessary maneuvers and then they packed him with support pillows, several quilts and blankets. Jess stirred lightly several times without waking and Josie's fingers were trembling as she helped Slim with the non-dignity area clothing and moving Jess, still leaking tears in adoration of her brother. Slim noticed her tenderness and concentration and she noticed out of the corner of her eyes that Slim was watching her.

"He's a tough one, Josie. He'll make it. I've seen him pile into 5 full grown men in saloon fights and they ended up running away or unconscious. You'll see." Slim offered in encouragement. He was trying to hide a small smile watching her as she was fussing and fumbling over getting his cold clothes removed and warmer clothes and socks on much like had she been dressing an unfamiliar child. Slim handled Jess' pants adding a long pair of long underwear over the shorter shorts while she fumbled in inexperience with doubled socks, but was tender and good at it as though a natural mom, and still fighting back tears and constantly wiping her face on one shoulder then the other. She stepped away to the kitchen and came back with a towel half wet with warm to hot water and wrapped his face like a pre-shave soak to begin heat there, then tenderly patted it dry once the cloth cooled.

"He's the only flesh and bone I have, or will ever have from my birth family, Slim, and the love I feel for him goes down so deeply I think its roots are buried in my womb somewhere." She looked briefly at Slim then back to her work with her eyes leaking even more tears. "I've never loved someone so hard, my whole life! Ever since I was a little girl I've felt someone was always right beside me. I'd turn and couldn't see anyone, but whenever I was afraid, I could sense this presence and always knew it was a male. I remember growing up men and boys of all ages would pay attention to me or look at me like they were undressing me and it would scare me. I would go inside myself where I could always find his presence and could calm down, fear would just dissolve. I could never talk to anyone about it, afraid they'd consider me demented. I finally gave up and just accepted he was there and prayed someday if I lived upright and helped people who had less than me, God would let me meet him for real. I thought he'd be my soul mate, never dreamed I'd have a twin brother." She leaned back seated next to Jess' hip and refolded the towel, mopped the corners of her eyes with the folded towel. "Then when they pushed me off the stage and I first saw him, my heart just started skipping beats, thought I'd pass out and then I heard his voice. I knew it was him but for the first time, I could hear his voice, and it went through me so softly even though he was fighting mad and challenging those awful men. Just like had happened all my life, he was my safety net and knew what to do. I could run into his being and feel like we were twisted around each other and playing all wrapped up in this bag of water that shielded us from the world. He was always chasing me but it was a game and he'd be laughing and have me giggling my silly head off. Meeting him now I wonder, even begin to believe he wasn't chasing me, but following me protectively so I could live carefree and happy." She looked up at Slim blinking hard over her big blue eyes, tears dropping off one corner then the other and she sniffed.

Slim's forehead raised remembering almost the same exact words from Jess. (See "The Inheritance") "You should sit down with him sometime and hear his version of this exact thing, Josie."

"Everything I learn about him since we found each other is good, too. He's not a nasty man like most I've met. He's kind, protective, seems to always find the underdog and pitches in to find the truth of things and fix them. He's just a wealth of information about life. And at least he's honest with me where other people raised me with stories and fables they hid behind. And he's so patient, at least with me. He's always trying to give people hope. Oh, I know he's not perfect. Nobody is. But he could have been a real stinker. I just need to learn how to get him to receive back everything he tries to give out."

They got him lined out into his bed and mostly packed in and Jess began to stir. He was still vibrating and trembling hard but his eyes fluttered open unfocused and he moaned. Daisy leaned in,

"Jess, I have some hot food ready. Can you eat?"

"mmy….peach…es?..." his voice wobbled more in sound without any tonal quality.

"It's all under the head of your bed here, but you need something hot." Slim chimed in knowing that's where they'd eventually land along with his holster and gun and a throw rug once things got unpacked. "Daisy, if you have some hot water going, could you put some in a water bag, wrapped in a light towel and he can lean back some on that while we get the food down...some consistent heat source while he's still moving around."

"I do, Slim, good idea. I'll be right back. Mike come help me carry it all."

"Yes Ma'am." Mike was hovering on the bed at Jess' legs with a worried look.

Jess nodded and drifted while Daisy fixed the hot water bag and towel and gave it to Mike to carry. She brought a bowl full of the casserole and she handed it to Josie to feed Jess. Instinctively Josie tested a spoonful against her lips for heat value while Slim raised Jess' chest higher. Jess had started to re-waken but the second the hot water towel wrapped bag lined out under his broken shoulder he groaned hard and Slim felt Jess' entire body lapse and sag and the deepest toned groan slowly escaped. Daisy grabbed the peach cobbler and put a serving on the stove to begin heating and condensed the left overs into a smaller bowl for another time.

"Storm cut loose yet?" Jess whispered and groaned as he pulled to adjust the blankets. He seemed aware something had changed in his accoutrement, but was unfocused enough he couldn't figure out why and didn't really care because the cold was being replaced by heat. Immediately before he could focus completely, Josie was spooning food to his lips. At first he looked at her with a little boy face getting ready to protest being fed and weakly tried to reach for the spoon with his left hand. She put on a pout, pulled the food out of his reach and a look on her face saying 'the only food you're getting will come from my hand.' He rolled his eyes and gave up. Half conscious and fully frozen it was still obvious to Jess that she'd been crying.

"Going to cut lose any minute, wire clerk at the stage office said they are rerouting everything south for the next week to 10 days, expecting a big one and maybe a couple after in line." Slim advised.

"Oh fine, I coulda told them that…." Jess sighed heavily…. "wish it'd….jest cut loose …. move on."

Josie looked questioningly at Slim who offered;

"Jess was injured about 2 years ago, basically turned him into a weather forecaster. He can feel the barometric pressure on old injury sites from the storm cells as they come through. He says it's like being in a vice."

Josie offered with a light smile, "You should try a corset."

"Hurtzz…." Jess whined softly, his head wobbling and keeping his eyes closed.

"I've got to get the biscuits into the oven. There's more food, Jess. As much as you think you can handle. Maggie and Ana packed away a huge supper and sent it home with us for tonight. There's enough for two meals. It's a special recipe they use for left overs. This one is beef. Tomorrow's looks like chicken or turkey. She made today's from all the beef we've been eating and canned it the next day." Daisy admonished speaking loudly from the kitchen. "I'll have time tomorrow to bake a fresh pie tomorrow. Do you want coffee, milk or hot cocoa?"

"Yes, Ma'am. Hot…" It was barely more than a whisper.

Josie lifted the spoon to Jess' lips and again his hand came up to take it and feed his self, but she took his hand into custody and held it in her lap.

"Not an invalid….yet…Jose." he lightly squeezed her hand and holding his, trying for a smile that came more like a grimace with the upraised eyebrow.

"I realize that. But it's MY turn to help you, even if I have to sit on your chest to do it. I'm in your life now, Jess and you have someone from your own flesh and blood here now to help you for a change. So just get over it!" She ended up softly and leaned forward to kiss his forehead and whispered, "I love you."

It was a good thing she was still holding the bowl and she wasn't sure what she said even registered because Jess swallowed then slipped into a doze and his hand unraveled and would have dropped the bowl had she not had a hold on it. She grabbed his whole left forearm and hand and tucked them into her lap hold anchoring his hand in the crook of her elbow and softly waited to see if he'd stir again. She briefly tried to get the everlasting forelock curl off his forehead, but it refused to leave its guard position. Moments later, the stomach was happy with the warm nutrients and beginning to unknot so he could take in more and his eyes propped back open looking for the food bowl and she fed him.

"Melts…..more like ….prime rib….stuff. 's good." Jess mumbled.

On the final tuck into bed Jess grimaced at a move on the shoulder and seemed to be fighting tears. Looking around his self in the bed at his waist where Sasha normally slept, he found a small supporting pillow softly calling for "Sashalina?" in a soft coo.

"She's back at the country club, Jess. We're up at the line shack." Slim muttered and shivered. "You're stuck with us."

Slim's inner strength was fading fast melting his normally positive attitude clearly upset seeing Jess hurting and so exhausted this far away from the barn fire. He was in no hurry to move away from holding Jess steady either or keeping the hot water held in place. The heat felt good to him, too, having been frozen on a horse for two days. When Jess had turned into his chest in the barn with the pain spasm, in his own fatigue Slim had almost lost it and cried. Josie's attachment to Jess was not the only one tied deep inside one's soul. He hadn't had as much to offer Jess as the Wentworth's, but it was his family's home and all that he owned. Jess had never made a slanderous statement about its rusticness either and Jess being a fiddle foot or not, having him turn into him and then seek the strength from his body like that, meant all the world to Slim. To him Jess had become more than just a brother by birth of no choices. They'd been through crap together, met and overcome life and death many times and still had chosen each other in full confidence. Slim knew Jess well enough to know Jess didn't turn to people for help and when Jess turned into him to help the load of pain, it was Jess giving everything HE owned back to Slim. Maybe someday in the future they could build homes into something like the Wentworths owned, but for now, all they had was each other.

Daisy came up behind Slim with a bowl of bubbly hot cobbler and a mug of hot milk and put it on the nearby table.

"This is a beautiful home, Slim. You've got nothing to be ashamed of." She admonished Slim comfortingly in a soft, motherly manner and went over and adjusted the fire.

As Jess drifted off into sleep still mumbling "Sash?" a teary-eyed twin and her fiancé were both fighting tears looking at Jess watching his face relax out. Daisy had Mike eating at the table then Slim gathered Daisy and Josie in a group hug who were also teary in their exhaustion. The blizzard cut lose in full force just as they sat down to eat and blew hard all night. It took most of the night, though, before Jess' body finally stopped trembling and his frozen exterior skin leveled out with the heated interior of the room and he hit a truly deep sleep. His rasping exhales softened into a very light, soft snore with his nose tucked into the top of the bedding and Daisy had placed a towel over his head to help trap heat. She figured better too much blanketing and he could pull them off than to be too uncovered and prolong the cold and the back and forth in temperatures. Mike begged to be allowed to sleep at Jess' legs and back and Buttons was on her thick pallet on the floor under the bed. She ended up on top the bed between Mike and the wall sharing Mike's new handmade quilt from Maggie and all of them underneath Jess' new quilt that was bigger. The case of peach preserves and empty cobbler containers were tucked under the head of the bed, and they found some other boxes to fill in the area. Slim wanted only limited air movement under the bed so it was warmer and more stable for Jess' body by cutting off any floor drafts. Jess' outdoor boots, coat and outer wear clothing were hidden by Daisy to prevent any sneaky trips to the barn. She'd decided the way to limit Jess to bed was remove any outer garments that would cover him up- so it was incarceration by wardrobe and she had "just tons of laundry backed up, he'd just have to wait in bed." It worked. Within 3 days Slim had hung ropes along the ceiling on the inside walls covering up windows and doors with larger pieces of laundry to cut drafts through those and add humidity from the drying clothes. True to her words Daisy was catching up on her laundry duty from 3 weeks.

CHAPTER 10: The Long Winter's Nights

To the eager agreement and help of the ladies, in order for them to be closer to the fireplace Slim offered to move the second bunk bed into the living room for Daisy below and Josie on top and he moved a cot into the living room for himself, the beds all set up in a "u" shape. Then he dressed the grouped up beds similar to a teepee type to try and relieve the tension of the blizzard for everyone, especially a 7 year old boy trapped inside a noisy house worried the rippling house would blow apart at any moment. He wrapped the perimeter of the beds with hanging blankets and tied the other ends to a circled up lasso nailed to the ceiling in a point. The feet parts of the ladies' and his beds were open toward the fireplace as though pointing out the door of the teepee bedroom which effectively trapped most of the heat on the inside wall side that Jess was sleeping parallel against like a funnel. When Jess would sleep during the day they could fold the blankets closed vertically as a noise and heat barrier as Slim could move the blankets like a funnel to direct fireplace heat his direction while beds were empty. It was the biggest smile on Mike's face anyone had seen for weeks. Slim really wanted to close down the extra rooms maximizing the fireplace and stove until the series of blizzards stopped which was less wood chopping for him. The smaller kitchen table became overflow in the kitchen and the desk ended up in the men's bedroom. The main dining room table was squared away under the arch between the kitchen stove and teepee beds so Jess could sit near the fireplace when released from confinement of the bed for eating. It was also centered to the rooms so Jess could limp around it as support and if he needed to stop half way between his bed and the lu. The front door was blocked by living room furniture and firewood with only the kitchen and back supply room exit available as outdoor access. In all truth, in his exhaustion, Slim had a light bulb burst of creativity making a two week entrapment for a 7 year old hopefully something of an adventure by sleeping in a cowboy teepee. Slim fixed up an indoor lu with curtains to hold them over night and with Mike and Buttons caving into bed with Jess and drifting off to sleep warming each other up, the adults sat down to a full dinner of Maggie's special left over casserole and Daisy's fresh biscuits.

Slim sat down with a plop and rubbed his eyes in tiredness and Josie came up from behind him and gave him a big hug around his neck planting a huge, juicy kiss on his cheek and she nibbled his ear as Daisy brought the hot food to the table. Slim succumbed to goosebumps and other knots but smiled looking up at Josie and kissed her hand patting it tenderly to distract the after effects in his body of the tickling ear lobes. As they passed the serving dishes around they could hear both the blizzard wind blowing outside and it was dotted regularly by Jess' raspy pain filled groaned exhales. In between groans he would shift against some pain spasm somehow seemingly asleep and the cot would squeak. Slim was very hungry, the food was extremely tasty and just the right temperature so he was eating well, but he seemed to be dragging beyond the expected state of exhaustion and no conversation was being offered. Josie looked back and forth between him and Daisy and Daisy had noticed the same, so as they ate Daisy opened the conversation.

"How's your leg doing, Slim? You must be just exhausted and hurting, too. I could heat up a damp towel and wrap your calf."

Slim didn't respond just continued to stare down at the table and eat thoughtfully. So Josie jumped in and touched Slim's hand, rubbing it affectionately.

"Darling?" she spoke barely above a whisper with a sweet, soft smile.

"Huh?" Slim stirred looking up at her and blinking as though coming out of a reverie.

"We can both see you're so tired. Ms. Daisy asked you a question and you seem such a long way off."

Slim blushed lightly and looked at Daisy. "I'm sorry, Daisy."

"I was concerned how your leg was doing. You've been on it constantly."

The leg was long forgotten in healing quickly he hadn't even paid attention. "Hmm? No, it's doing fine, Daisy. Like nothing happened."

"So what's bothering you? Can I help?"

At first Slim seemed to be reluctant to delve into what was nagging him because it concerned Jess and he didn't want to alarm Josie, but at the same time, as his sister, she needed to be involved learning the ways of her brother. With Josie's offered statements of being his only blood kin and wanting to take care of him, that was a noble and proper idea, but how do you do that without causing an emotional upheaval in her and thus adding to Jess' load? Josie was squeezing his hand now in earnest and trying to get his eye contact off the table…..and she was certainly pretty and rattled his heart every time they were even near each other. When she looked into his eyes, he was sunk and helpless but to give her anything she wanted and he had to keep up at least a small guard when around her to keep his body under control….daggone it….no other woman EVER had this effect on him before. He laid his fork down, squeezed her hand back and then stretched leaning back over the chair, taking in a deep breath and looking over at Jess to be sure he was still out in deep sleep somewhere. That told Daisy where Slim's mind was at.

"You're worried about Jess?" She offered softly well aware Josie was listening tightly.

Slim leaned back to the table and between bites began sharing. He figured if he kept eating Josie wouldn't panic, besides the food was great and he was definitely very empty and hungry… almost too hungry and too tired to eat.

"You know, Jess. He plays it up most the time when he's not really hurt that bad, getting sympathy and all."

Daisy rolled her eyes. "Yes, I'm familiar."

"Well, it's taken some time to figure him out, most of the last 5-6 years, but I've decided he does that to distract from the times and places when he's really hurt, and then he covers up the real bad injuries. Or he tries. But if you look hard enough, and know what to look for, I think I'm beginning to tell the difference."

"And this time he's hurt for real." Daisy was making more of a statement from her heart than asking. It was confirming something bothering her as well.

"I wouldn't necessarily say he's hurt worse this time, but he's dealing with multiple levels of pain. I should have known better, Daisy. I was…" he looked at both women, then at Jess shifting in his sleep again. "He's covering up, making out like a tough cowboy and all, but when I was pulling off those jeans tonight, I got a good….I took a good look at those bruises on his thighs."

Josie's face was puckering up in moistness and her fork was slowing down. Slim seemed to sink into deep memories that were hard to bring back up and began to only play with his food.

"We both passed the men carrying Elroy out of the barn, easy to recognize he was…. looked like a beam had caved in his ..um... well, he never knew what hit him which was good. But Jess was in front of me and he saw it faster and got on into the barn going for Bolero ahead of me. Barn was so full of smoke ya couldn't see your hand in front of your face and breathing was impossible. I actually found Bolero's stall by following Jess' coughing against the smoke and we were breathing into our shirts. The roof was in flames and had started disintegrating and falling in. I caught up to Jess already in Bolero's stall, the biggest stall way in the back of the barn and he had the halter around Bolero's head but Bolero was fighting him in fear and rearing making it difficult to buckle the halter. I think anyone but Jess would have lost, but you know Jess' …agility, his trick riding and with his size and especially his upper body strength he was able to hang on to the stud. I was dodging falling debris and still a stall away when a piece of flame fell from the ceiling and caught Bolero's mane on fire at his poll, just behind the ears. Was a decent size piece and a good 6" length of his mane caught on fire, the horse screamed and reared again. Jess had gotten the buckles tightened but the rearing grabbed his right hand and it went through into the halter dragging him up with the stallion to full height and the stud's front legs were thrashing Jess' body like a boxer on a punching bag."

Slim put his fork down, stood and went over to Jess and softly pulled the blanket back and inspected Jess' right hand pulled the sleeve up and looked over the wrist. Slim groaned shaking his head, replaced the hand under the blanket and sat back down at the table. Slim's touch was so smooth Jess never even broke breathing rhythm.

"At's what I thought."

"What?" Josie's voice was urgent and she started to stand up and retrace Slim's path but Slim gently pulled her back to her seat.

"That hand, more so the right wrist, just as bruised as the thighs. You think he even mention it to anyone? Been hiding THAT in the dadgum sling!" Slim sat down with a thud of exasperation. "Those thighs are so mottled black, blue and purple …reminds me of his lower back on the buckboard accident. Got several shoe marks on his gut up next to the ribs. " Slim was definitely getting upset. "Most men I know would have turned loose and dropped away from a rearing stud. You think he'd have dropped that halter, or pulled his left hand up to release the buckle? No! HE'S busy patting the fire out of the mane with his bare left hand and somehow holding that stud in his stall to keep him from flying out of the stall, loose, and then out the barn where nobody could have caught him," Slim gestured waving his hand off into thin air, "Animal running off down the road with his mane on fire? You realize only a bullet can stop a horse on fire? Horse is rearing, he's dangling like meat on a hook, feet flying in midair. If that's not enough then a …." Slim held his hands apart 18"…. "piece of timber half on fire falls from the ceiling of the barn and cuts Jess in his right shoulder and down his back." Slim poked his finger on the table for emphasis, "One step over and they'd have been hauling him out like they did Elroy …. and not one sound came outta his mouth." He pointed over at Jess in the bed. Slim paused for almost half a minute before continuing, "I looked, the mane was no longer burning, somehow Jess' hand got free of the halter but the hit by the burning timber knocked his legs out but still hanging onto the stud and the stud's front legs ….ready to trample him. I got there just as the stud came down and wrapped my shirt around his head, grabbed the halter from Jess and pushed the stud further back in the stall off of Jess and yelled at Jess. Somehow, and truly only God knows how, he was getting to his feet and followed me out of the stall. Not sure Jess could even see straight…he had his hand on the stud's butt. I never felt so much adrenaline ... wondered how he could even get up, let alone walk out of that barn. Then we heard a scream, he turned seeing Kensie running toward him from deeper in the barn, she was fully on fire and fell toward him. I had my hands full of Bolero so he stopped to pick her up. Dadgum, she was screaming worse than…well, Josie's nightmare. Never heard anybody scream like that." Slim's voice cracked and he had to stop speaking trying to control his emotions as he remembered the event, his eyes rims were leaking and he stared off into an empty corner of the room, his voice cracked….. "She was a human…torch… like her horse could've turned into. Her whole body, clothes, her hair was down fully loose and entirely on fire and… he didn't hesitate one second… He just reached through the fire .. she stumbled as she fell…. and he dived her into the ground, wranglers finally got there with sopping wet stall blankets… only time I heard him say anything, when he first laid eyes on her he called Kensie, "Ma" and then carried her out of the barn behind me."

Daisy and Josie were both in tears crying into their napkins and Slim wasn't far behind with leaking eyes. Daisy recognized that Slim needed to unload and when Josie took in a breath to say something, Daisy reached over and shushed her.

"It's just that he was still moving around after….slower, yes, beaten up by hooves, who wouldn't be. Expect that from anyone hanging onto a stud in a fire. But…" Slim jammed his fist down on the table for emphasis, "…I missed it. I just ….he's been hiding the deeper hurts, I fell for the bruises and cold weather as a dodge."

"He's cold, too, Slim, that's not a dodge." Daisy admonished. "That's frostbite on his face and you can't fake trembling and skin color. If he comes down with pneumonia, then the cold wet weather IS the worst of his injuries. So, I guess, in his way, he's directing you to the part beyond his ability to deal with."

"He had to be in shock. But Daisy, the worst part and the multiple level he's dealing with is the deeper injury had to be seeing Kensie burned alive…she died in his arms. That HAD to be reliving his mom's death" Slim's voice choked and he had to stop and think how to breathe for a moment. "…. like it was real all over." Slim had put his fork down and stuck his thumbs into the inner corners of his eyes trying to stop the tears. Then he sniffed. "We watch him for days now dealing with physical injuries, the cold but only ONE mention of a nightmare. Wouldn't have known that had the cramps not folded him up in the bed. Since finding out Josie's empathizing his nightmare of being burned, nothing more…from him about nightmares and Josie's empathy nightmare has stopped. Josie, you mentioned being his birth family and him now having someone who will tend him. You've chopped off a huge chunk of responsibility. I've….. never met anyone who can handle the load of pain he can carry. The really deep pain…." Slim chuckled through wet eyes in a memory, "..or how he says it, the unseen pain hurts most. Oh he puts on like he's hurt, but those ones are the jokes….the little ones to throw you off the trail. The really hard ones he tries to handle alone. Sara said he's having nightmares. They don't "just stop" either. He's got to be still having nightmares about his ma dying in the fire he couldn't stop but HE's waking himself up in the middle of the night to stop the nightmare to keep Josie from experiencing more empathy. But the lack of sleep, real deep sleep is draining him handling it alone so's he got nothing left for the bruises, broken bones and cold weather. THAT's why he's not bouncing back as fast as he does with other injuries. Out there in the barn tonight, he miss-gauged his strength reserve and ran plumb out falling on his face in the straw unable to move – except for the vice on his shoulder." Slim let out a huge breath and returned to staring into his food dish and picking at eating. "I thought I'd learned a lot about him in the buckboard accident, but it's taken me 6 years to learn this." he mumbled as he nearly bit the fork biting off the next s chunk and munching on a bite of meat in the casserole. "This is really good, Daisy. Piece of prime rib falls apart in your mouth. Did you fix this?" he held up another sizable chunk of meat on his fork, his tired brain not grasping Daisy's earlier explanation of the source of the dinner.

"No, as she cleans up one meal Maggie makes several recipes out of different left overs and home cans them as the contents for a future casserole. Does it immediately as she does the dishes. They store better and make lovely main courses later, adding in biscuits or making a meal pie. She gave me some of her recipes and several jars of food to last a couple days until we get settled back in." Daisy was talking food, but she was still reading the pain in Slim's face. "I think this was some prime rib left over. She thought it'd be easier for us once we got home. She's such a remarkable, generous woman." Daisy was unsure whether or not this time she got through either. Slim was fighting tears and his own exhaustion.

"How do you tell the difference of pain in him, Sweetie? Whether its internal pain or physical." Josie was still stuck on the brother issue.

"You have to earn his trust, Josie." Daisy offered. Almost simultaneously Slim offered,

"First few years when he got here, something from his past would fire up and he'd leave rather than have it upset things here. At first I just thought he couldn't settle in and that may have been a small part. Later figured out he was in fact protecting Andy and me, leaving so's the problem would stay on him and not jump onto the ranch. But tonight, out there in the barn digging him outta the straw, he had another pain spasm gathering in his shoulder like that cramp he had in the bed. I could feel how weak he was when I turned him over, the pain hit him, but instead of pulling away trying to hide it….." Slim's voice cracked, "this time… he just reached into me. Was like he handed me his reins and expected I could hold the pain for him…because he was empty…. so weak." Slim's eyes were definitely brimming an over flow and he was playing with the food in his dish again. "He barely opened his eyes, but when he did I could feel the emptiness from depth of pain…. down deep in my gut. I knew then it was more than bruises and a broken shoulder. He could handle bruises and broken bones….shoot….those are the kind he plays up. He's just plain exhausted, empty, wore through like a worn cinch so threadbare it gives way. I shoulda caught that earlier seeing's what he shared on our first visit to the Wentworths about his… your ma's death. Saw the same pain in his eyes back then when he first told me about her dying." Slim slammed his fist down on the table disgusted with himself.

"You earned his trust." Josie finished while looking back and forth between Slim and Daisy, tying it together.

"With someone who's had the life Jess has had to survive, that's something you won't find….." Daisy started but Slim waved her off.

"Still running a mile behind him….." Slim's voice trailed off.

Still trying to hide his tears he stood up angry with himself and went to stoke the fireplace but only made it fall apart and he had to squat down and rebuild it through his tears. So Daisy finished it to Josie, "You have quite a fiancé there, Josie. Jess doesn't turn to just anyone."

"Yes, Ma'am. Fiancé and brother." Josie watched Slim working the fireplace into a confined bonfire that became picture perfect for a post card then back into her dish played with her food. Slim got the fire roaring and stood up facing it still thawing his self out, too. Josie continued,

"Anything touches either of them and it's like a spear drives from the top of my head through my heart and sticks between my hips…all I feel is this searing pain in my low back and I can't breathe." She looked teary eyed at Daisy, "and I wouldn't change it for the world. How can you love someone so much….? Not one, but two of the most wonderful men in the world, and I love them both…so hard!" Her voice trailed off into tears and she got up and stood between Slim and the fire. She stood on her toes reaching to put her arms around his neck and he easily bent his knees and picked her up taking a step back to keep her skirt out of the fire. They hugged, Slim moving one hand behind her head and both of them weeping because Josie was whispering in Slim's ear, then they kissed.

Slim pulled up and softly spoke as they hugged, "You want to share his pain, Sweetie, you got your work cut out for you."

Eventually the ladies cleaned up supper and put more things away while Slim arranged an indoor lu behind some more blankets to hold them until morning. They found Jess had unloaded the buggy trailer just inside the front door as most of the items had a handle of some sort. Once they had gotten set for the night they all fell into bed just past midnight listening to the howl of the storm. Slim didn't remember putting his head on the pillow waking only around 3 a.m. to restock the fireplace and stove….and he checked Jess' skin temperature and breathing making sure Mike or Buttons wasn't leaning weight on Jess' back.

The next day they all slept past noon waking to 20" of snow and 3' drifts grateful they had reached home just hours ahead of the next shut down. Thanks to the forethought and planning of his dad's placement of the buildings, the direction of the typical winter wind in a blizzard blew between the house kitchen side door and the barn keeping it drift free of snow so no one had to shovel a path to the barn, and with no snow on it, there was no puddle melt and refreeze until you got into the drive area where the stages generally landed. Somehow in the dark when Jess unhitched everything, he parked the buggy's trailer in front of the front window cutting down on the wind coming at the front of the house. He parked the buggy under the lean to of the barn overhang tongue side to the bunkhouse leaving a shelf and back end cargo box of the back end of the buggy at the side door of the barn. With a tarp Jess had hung off the edge of the overhang prior to the trip that Daisy had dropped down and tethered to the buggy wheels it enclosed the buggy from the storm breaking the wind driving at that side of the barn and giving the chickens a good walkabout space underneath it every day. Just the other side of the door was the wood stump where they could work fresh wood up. With no snow between the buildings they had a straight path to the water pump. Slim was the first one outside just after ….well, five minutes after he was up, and bringing back in with him fresh milk and eggs he reported the barn was tight and cozy and all were munching away on their morning breakfast grains. He planned on going back out during the heat of the day brushing down and re-setting blankets on the animals, checking legs and hooves making sure everyone survived the two day trip home in old snow and iced ruts.

Jess woke up 45 minutes after the rest of them and it took close to 5 minutes for him to surface from the fog of sleep with his first question about the horses in the barn, which was a wasted question. It took quite an effort to untangle Jess from all the bedding and for him to even begin trying to move a body that was warm snug as a bug in a rug, but being extremely stiff and bruised it took all three adults to maneuver him out of the bed while Mike held Buttons off and collected bedding. Daisy gathered the water skins and reworked them. And he was one disheveled mess once they got him vertical again because the shoulder refused to move and his leg wouldn't hold his weight. He hadn't shaved or combed his hair in 3 days but was still ashen under the scruff and had dark circles under his eyes. Out of the covers he was immediately cold again. Slim offered to bring Jess a bucket and close the teepee door, but Jess fumed 'having help doing his ablutions would be over his dead body' and just 'be doggone patient" whilst he tried to hitch the fluffy robe on but then couldn't get it on or wrapped because of the shoulder being muscle frozen. Nobody wanted him pushing his body and succumbing to another session of cramping muscles and Jess could feel "if one muscle even tried to cramp they may as well shoot him and put him out of their misery." His attitude and remarks were hilarious but watching him try to move was absolutely painful. So Slim held him up and Josie pulled the robe on, tied it and put his slippers while he rolled his eyes at being helped like a child. It didn't take very long for him to realize just getting out of the deep, very warm cocoon of the bedding in spite of the fireplace going full force he'd begun chilling again. So he quickly stopped arguing in preference to getting chores done, eating any food that wasn't tied down and getting back into that warm bed won out. But it was miserably horrible watching him trying to move and start shivering again. Once he got to the new lu, well they got to the lu, he was amazed at Slim's designing new room addition and was immensely grateful for not having to go outside to do that chore. After he finished that (alone), surrounded in the thick robe and wrapped in an Indian blanket to match Slim's teepee theme, Jess plopped onto the chair nearest the fireplace while Daisy fixed the champion of breakfasts for everyone. Jess put down two full adult portions including peach jelly on fresh biscuits and 3 mugs of hot coffee before the colder air in the house prevailed and he began bottoming out in energy.

As he ate while secured in the fluffy robe Jess began to mumble about having a meeting and dinner with several of the neighboring ranches, Mort and a few of the older stage people who might want to cross train into construction. The purpose of the meeting would be to intro their neighbors to the concept of building the Cattleman's Association Slim and he were about to establish, etc. getting into the Wentworth concept of networking their ranches together as well as sharing available cattle railroad cars so no one gets left out. Slim could grab one of the new stock and serve a BBQ in the front valley so everyone could taste Wentworth beef. Slim could be elected their associations' first President who would be leader and front man. Josie could be secretary (he would be head wrangler and enforcer). With an association they could better regulate cattle prices fair to big and small ranches, and breeds of cattle, dues according to size. Nobody could figure out what Jess was talking about believing he even might be sleep walking in his fuzzy head. And … Jess wound down like the bottom falling out of a bucket, pulled up sharply midway through the 2nd biscuit. Whilst half carried back to bed and tucked in by reverse operation, he carried his buttered 3rd biscuit to his bed, placed it on the peach jelly crate under the corner of his bed, covered by his napkin and crash dived back into bed where he instantly fell asleep and didn't wake until dark which came by 4:45 in the mid-winter afternoon. Buttons, of course, was quite grateful with her kisses to Jess for leaving her a plate of biscuits under his bed for her- and they had moments of giggles and laughter once he realized what he'd done. Slim, Daisy and Josie woke him from another deep sleep in time to eat a huge supper with apple pie and another visit to the new lu Slim had mostly finished during the day. On the way back to bed he finally noticed and crawled back into the "neat new teepee" with Mike and commenced more deep sleep. Daisy ran hot compresses on his shoulder and both thighs all day long and he didn't seem to be aware of them, but he was definitely less fussy with the change in the barometer.

When Slim got up at another 3:30 am to stoke the fire, he found Jess back at the dining table wrapped in his blankets cuddled up to a lantern that was shaded from shining into the living room. Slim shook his head believing his theory that Jess had stopped another nightmare and to keep from dropping back asleep had gotten to the table and started writing. Jess' head had sank to his left forearm with a couple pages of paper under it and several papers with handwriting stacked to the side. But he was out cold and starting to tremble in the night indoor temperature. Slim used the lu but that didn't wake Jess up so Slim went back to the table and reached over Jess adding his heat over Jess' body. He quickly scanned the handwriting and slipped the pencil away from Jess without even a twitch of the emptied hand. Jess was doing more work from his rambling at the breakfast table composing a plan of rules for the Sherman/Harper Enterprises Cattle Association (to be named later). He was still working in his head for how it could be set up and run bringing their neighborhood ranches and like-minded business into their network which would then associate with Chuck's, including medical benefits through Dr. Tim's plan for helping cattle ranches with medical coverage and resources. The document was several pages long and captured the ideas he'd been rolling around at the breakfast table in an outline without deep details and the writing had become shakier. Slim checked under Jess' blankets finding the sling was untied and just lightly holding the shoulder and figured Jess' shoulder might have become cold out of bed and was complaining from the effort of writing. He could eat left handed, but riding, roping and guns were all right handed for Jess and Slim assumed writing, too. So in resting it for a few moments, Jess had fallen back asleep at the table. Slim shook his head mumbling to himself more convinced now with evidence that Jess must have had another nightmare and was using the cattle association to get his mind off the barn fire nightmare to keep from sleeping again. Slim, naturally being big brother, gathered Jess' blankets around him and began to gently lift him to escort him back to bed and Jess half woke. Well that is his eyes half opened but they were not focused just enough grumbling "need…. paper… more" while he was trying to reach back to the table and collect his work.

"Enough, Slingshot. Back to bed, it's too cool out here for you. Finish it tomorrow."

Jess whined a mumbled "no" and leaned harder not to be refused so to keep from dropping him, Slim tucked him on one hip and gathered what he could of the papers with his other hand. In the process, Jess' long handled undershirt became lifted and Slim saw the huge, half circle bruise on Jess' lower right rib cage near his stomach that looked like another hoof strike. Jess had winced and recoiled there as Slim gathered him around the waist. Slim tried to get a better look but Jess began to slip out of his arms, so he gathered Jess, blew out the lantern, stuffed the papers into Jess' hand to carry tucked up to his chest and then tucked him back into bed. Jess was obviously so far in between stages of deep sleep and half awake his eyes were half focused and half crossed, with one hand he was struggling to hold everything against his chest in a wad much like a small boy with a treasured teddy bear only this boy had a short beard. There was no automatic balance and his legs weren't even getting the message of walking from the brain, but he managed to stuff the pages under his pillow half asleep, satisfied they were secure and he fell right back to oblivion. As Slim pulled the covers into place and tucked them in he mumbled,

"You can't get well, Jess, until you sleep. Maybe I should just whack you across the jaw… drop you past the dream stage."

A few pages got left behind on the table which Daisy found the next morning and having loaded up the coffee pot she tried to figure out what they were. Slim was second one up and he met Daisy sitting over a cup a coffee wanting to read what Jess had written. They barely got to read the two pages that had escaped when Josie awoke and Daisy decided it was time to begin cooking breakfast.

"I hope you don't feel like you've been unwelcomed to your bedroom getting all of us set up together in the living room. Are you staying warm enough, getting any sleep?" Slim inquired of Daisy while filling his coffee mug and sitting down facing the living room.

"Me? Oh, no I'm doing fine, Slim, haven't had this much adventure in years. It's quite warm enough, sleeping like a baby. It reminds me of when my husband and I were raising our son. Adventures in the alternative world of fun and make believe. Don't believe I've ever slept in a teepee before."

"I thought it'd help Tiger, he was getting pretty pale big incoming storm like that. We can get heavy blizzards and after hours of blowing wind it can feel like the roof is pulling loose."

"It was an exceptional idea, Slim. He sure seems to enjoy sleeping in contact with you or Jess."

"Ya, well he's fascinated right now by the adult male bod …um muscles but Jess is gunna look like an ol' bear this morning. Scruffy, hair not combed in days." Slim chuckled at the thought. "Like as not scare the wits off the boy. May hafta to go get him up so's he don't panic and start kicking tender spots. Found Jess at the table here 3am this morning writing out some of that stuff he was yammering about at breakfast yesterday."

"Is that what this is?" She held up the papers and Slim squinted at them.

"Ya, like to read when you're done, see what's been chewing up his sleep time. He's supposed to be sleeping to get well but I'm convinced he's still having nightmares, wakes his self up to stop them. Now he's working on this association idea to keep from going back to sleep."

"Looks like business, but I….get lost." She handed it over and stood to refill her mug.

"At's because it's not all there. He grabbed most of it outta my hands. It was him or the papers I'da dropped, so..the rest of it's under his pillow." Slim re-read quickly what he saw on the papers earlier that morning, still not making a whole lot of sense, just some.. "Some sort of cattleman's association rules and operating plan agreement notes? Where ever has Jess seen a business plan?" His eyebrows went higher. "I don't think I've even seen one." Slim popped the papers onto the table and rubbed his eyes with his other hand not holding the coffee mug for the next swallow. "Well, I guess he'll just have to share it with us when he's ready."

Truth be known, it was not only Jess who appreciated and used the indoor lu due to the cold and snow outside because it snowed hard for another 12 hours the third day after they got home and stayed cold and snowed on and off for two solid weeks. Suffice it to say, everyone discovered how exhausted they really were and didn't much move for the rest of that week with the exception of caring for the horses, getting laundry hung up all around the inside walls for humidity and to cut down on drafts. Daisy continued the hot compresses on Jess' thighs and shoulder which only melted him further into sleep and the entire house hold seemed to slip into a hibernation status and became too quiet. Unnervingly quiet. After the first two blizzards had passed and laundry drying in front of all the windows, they set Josie back up with Daisy in her bedroom and Mike camped out in the living room doing school work or with Jess as a crutch to the lu and back to bed or at night as a runner if Jess needed something of a snack. Slim took his cot but pulled it closer to the fireplace. Basically, Jess made it out of bed only to eat the main meals at the closest chair at the table to the fireplace and to use the lu. Daisy kept a stash of snacks for him to grab on his way back to his nest, mostly hard cooked eggs, cheese or pastries hoping to put weight back on his bones. Whenever he was out of bed he was in the fluffy robe with another quilt over that and he'd still shiver. His initial chill had warmed up if he stayed in heat, but he'd chill again just with the sound of wind…and it became Daisy's gauge for when he'd be released from confinement in bed. They offered to Jess to move his bed and the teepee closer to the fireplace but Jess refused being any closer to live flames and even having him sit backed up to it at the dining table made him nervous. With being inside the barn fire and Slim's discourse reminding them of Jess' past experience losing his mother in a fire, nobody wanted to push Jess closer to the fire than he was comfortable and risk keeping the nightmares going. The snow storms would come through in about 48 hour cycles, stay cloudy and rebuild and snow, stay cloudy and reload like a wagon train and each one rebuilt the barometric pressure which drove Jess nuts….miserably nuts. His only relief seemed to come from Maggie's homemade down-filled quilts and any extra pillows he could abscond with to bury himself into the cave of the teepee bunk invariably 12 hours before the next storm blew through. They didn't tease him, Slim just went out and re-stocked the wood and brought the stock back inside the barn finding Jess' discomfort a reliable source of time table to have the hatches battened down and the stock fed.

It began knawing on Slim knowing Jess had grown up in a toothpick of a house in Texas, or slept outside on the ground, and then the Sherman Ranch. But he'd also now experienced the cocoon of the Wentworth's thick log house knowing that guest room had captured Jess and had given him some of the deepest sleep he'd ever experienced. Now back at the Sherman Ranch it was back to the toothpicks where the Wyoming winter winds cut through. Being basically in house confinement by the snow, Slim's fidgets went into construction mode fixing and tightening and doubling layers, putting inside closeable shudders on windows, hung double doors on the outside ones and he built and enclosed porches around the outside doors. He realized while the cold never really bothered him, even preferred it cool, yet it did bother those sleeping in his house like Jess with a higher metabolic rate and Mike who was a kid, and Josie who was a twin metabolically, and Daisy who was gaining in years…..well everyone else living there. So he was busy fixing and shoring up the grounds taking off the edge of his confinement by weather. Besides having seen and experienced the nicer and tight log home, Elroy's log home and grounds had given him some home improvement ideas.

When Jess wasn't completely asleep during the day to be bothered by hammering Slim and Mike worked on the two projects. Slim would do a lot of the pre-construction in the barn then bring it to the house to mount. First was indoor shudders oversize to each window on the wind side that, like the barn, would shut down drafts and could be opened during the day light but help keep heat during the nights and the porches. Secondly, finishing the room for the indoor lu, Slim gave Mike some practical education in math and carpentry and Mike was thrilled with the new type of schooling and seemed to pick up on math much faster and that made Daisy ecstatic. It wasn't the Wentworth's bathroom, but it was better than bundling up and trekking 20 feet in the snow to the outhouse and then freezing every part of your anatomy with a 30 below wind chill whilst trying to do your business. Just one time in the new inside lu convinced Slim that Jess would have never made it to the old outhouse or by the constant re-exposure to the cold it would have pushed him completely into pneumonia. Necessity truly is the mother of invention.

Daisy and Slim came up with the idea at the same time to keep water heating at all times in the fireplace for cleaning and laundry and have another large pot always heating in the fireplace and one on the oven for cooking and one full of coffee and cocoa. Slim mounted a rack in the main fireplace so they could heat a large pot of water. Slim's main chore after horses was chopping wood. Laundry was an ongoing project nearly 24/7 because of waiting on heating water at 7200 feet, but Josie and Daisy worked together in between fixing meals. Once Jess woke up, in between naps they'd find pieces of paper he'd leave behind like a trail that had roughed out drawings for some kind of hot water drum size kettle keeper heating and storing hot water, or the cattleman's association, and other ideas. But those were never quite finished because they'd find Jess back under the pile of covers buried in pillows that packed his lower cot's airspace. Literally, packed. Within 36 hours of getting home every spare pillow was on top of his quilts and down comforter, there was no air space between him and the overhead cot as he tried to hide from the barometric pressure. The closer to each storm that cut loose Mike even got transplanted to the top bunk for fear he'd get suffocated under all the bedding. Josie repurposed the wood crate that had packed the extra cobbler from the restaurant and it became the drawer under his cot for all his loose papers so he could sort them during lucid moments in his day where he could stay awake. They could still hear him groaning and Josie would announce her shoulder was killing her just before storms so they figured the lack of mending on Jess' shoulder blade was causing an even worse susceptibility to the fluctuating air pressure. They did find Jess lost track of day and night and what day of the week it was with all the forced sleep time, but nobody teased him.

Mostly in the deep part of the night Jess also continued to have nightmares where he would wake himself up jerking upright with labored breathing and then be assaulted with pain spasms. But since he was ahead of the full nightmare Josie never screamed again and her empathy dreams stopped. His day naps seemed more peaceful which no one could figure out. Jess wouldn't talk about what was going on just admitting they were nightmares "related to the fire" and they couldn't push him for more details. They didn't know if "the fire" was from his childhood or the barn but Slim knew in his heart that once Jess found out the nightmares overflowed onto Josie, he began suppressing the memories and forcing himself awake during the nightmares to protect Josie from the horrible memories in nightmare form and was dealing with them alone. They gave him the space he sought and decided when he was ready to talk, he would open up. But the obvious part was that repressing the pain from the past was causing the sleep disturbances which was draining him and slowing the healing of his physical injuries. That was compounded by not having daily activity to distract him and being forced to bed rest causing sleep only exacerbated the opportunities for nightmares. Once all the puzzle pieces landed in front of Slim he determined this combination was the driving cause behind all the more uncommon busyness of thinking and note making. Jess was trying to distract his mind using paper and pencil since he couldn't get outside and do physical work. And once again it was evidence that he was trying to handle the most significant pain all by his self. But Slim also knew Jess well enough that he couldn't force Jess to share or open up and that when or if Jess got to that point he would share, Slim determined that he'd be there as he had all the times in the past in their early acquaintance.

Slim was dealing with his own memories having witnessed the pain in Jess when he shared the first time about watching his ma die in the fire. Slim couldn't imagine what that was like for Jess having to re-live it at the same time as holding her replica, Kensie, AS she died and still be unable to prevent the second death. That tore Slim apart inside not knowing how he could have even handled such memories and events had it been his mother, let alone Jess with his proclivity for helping and protecting women. It was helplessness at its truest and most horrible level. With Slim's 'diagnosis' everyone quietly monitored Jess' activities and silently adjusted accordingly trying to help him find space and peace he needed so his insides where the memories lived could mend. That was Slim's treatment plan and since he knew Jess the longest and best, they followed suit. Sometimes, just sometimes, Slim's analytical mind proved to give him an edge unraveling Jess' complex personality and haphazard lifestyle that he'd had to use to survive life….perhaps even enabled their uncommon partnership. While being a striking person all around constantly attracting people, Jess didn't allow many of them to ever get close to him in the really close, even intimate level. Slim began to believe having had to fight to survive from his earliest childhood memories and then losing his only trusted female, his ma, had built a fire ring around Jess' deep inner being and was why Jess was so stuck on being a bachelor on a fast horse.

They had two blizzards the first week they were back home at the Sherman Ranch. After the first one Slim had to go hunting successfully filling the cellar in the side of the mountain with a steer and then had the luck nabbing a buck, well lucky for the family, not so much the buck. Jess was just beginning to pull out of the deep shivers but not enough to spend time outside, basically just staying awake longer and still eating everything not nailed down. About the third night after Slim filled the cellar with meat, just before dawn with a new blizzard building Jess woke suddenly from deep sleep without any nightmare and looking around the room found everyone was still sleeping. Almost immediately he heard a noise believing it to be a repeat of what woke him and it raised all senses of alert inside his self and the hair on the back of his neck. Jess rolled out of his bedding onto his knees on a thick rug Daisy had placed having found that method easier to escape the bed. He heard another repeat sound and quickly put on his slippers and wrestled to get the robe on while rubbing his eyes trying to get the eyelashes to separate. Then he headed to the back door by the lu and got as far as the table when Slim's voice softly called.

"What's the matter?" Slim could tell by Jess' posture something was amiss this was not a bathroom run and that woke him faster than any barking dog.

"Shhh!" Jess whispered back and Slim sat up half way and rubbed his eyes.

"Jess?"

Jess wasn't stopping and Slim noticed Jess had drawn his handgun that had been sleeping in its holster on his headboard. Slim pulled the blankets back and began standing and putting on his clothes.

"You got the barn down tight?" Jess asked softly.

"Ya, all battened down tight expecting another blizzard. You been buried in your cave all day."

"Thought I heard a growl….like a bear."

"In the middle of the winter? Barometer still bothering you?" Slim's voice cracked and then he cleared it hoping Jess wouldn't think he had been teased.

"I know…..yes, hardly breathe. Where's my gear?! (Ack!)" Jess was looking around the back door trying to find something to put on.

Just then Buttons swiveled her head toward the back door and let out a deep growl.

"Are you sure? Maybe it was a dream." Slim wasn't trying to be funny or difficult, but bears hibernate in the winter.

"Did Daisy hide my coat and boots?" Jess was looking around the kitchen area and peeking out the window toward the barn. His voice was very agitated now discovering he was missing gear. He looked up at Slim's approach with a disconcerted look and anxiousness, "Where's my stuff?!"

"I'll go. My stuff's right here. You stay warm. I'll call or put off a shot if I need you." Slim grabbed the lantern that was barely on and raised the wick.

About then they heard several horses neigh nervously having caught the scent of a predator.

"Dadgum, all the rifles are in the barn." Slim snorted, mad at himself. Hunting was supposed to be done for now and Indians don't attack in the winter. He was bundled up by then and grabbed his handgun and went out the back door. Jess had momentarily disappeared so he didn't wait.

Unseen by Slim, Jess had limped into the men's bedroom and was retrieving the rifle normally hanging over the desk, checking it and grabbing shells from the top drawer of the bureau and was heading back to the back door still in his slippers and robe automatically loading the chamber. From some embedded memory he'd seen the rifle laying in the bedroom when he'd gone looking for more paper to write on. He tucked his handgun into the robe's side pocket and wrangled with the sling to pull his right arm loose. By now the ladies were awake and pulling themselves out of the bed and Jess put his hand up to stop them.

"I don't want any of you to leave this spot and above all else, keep Mike and Buttons here! Tackle em, tie them down, sit on them. I don't care…all of you….STAY PUT AND THAT'S AN ORDER!"

He headed for the back door and Daisy pointed and hollered, "You can't go outside dressed like that, Jess! You'll freeze! Let me get your gear!"

"No time, Daisy." Jess had grabbed a second lantern and was out the back door looking for Slim's tracks in the snow murmuring "I'll deal with you later."

Slim was coming back around and was at the front of the barn having made a circumference checking the snow for any kind of wild animal tracks. The road leading up the hill was behind him. He saw Jess turn from the back door and look straight at him. Jess was inching his way along the wall of the house and was almost to the corner of the house at the front kitchen door.

"Don't see anything Jess. No tracks in the snow, windows and doors all tight from where I set them last night. Lucky we got a full moon, visibility's pretty good." Slim called.

Belying that fact they both heard the horses shuffling and a couple of them neighed again. Slim put his hand on the handle of the big front door to pull it open and check inside when Jess yelled while instinctively jerking the rifle to his shoulder cocking it.

"DROP AND COVER!" It was not a shout but an order in a deep bass tone Slim had never heard from Jess before and his body responded before his mind could even access English. His voice had one of command, not fear and it shot adrenaline straight into Slim's legs. That sound coming out of Jess' being came all the way up from his slippered feet and was enough to suspend an opponent in a gunfight, by fear. Somehow, it had a different affect inside Slim and that's a good thing.

Simultaneously several things happened all in the same 2 seconds. First a huge grizzly bear standing on his hind legs stepped out from behind the corral side of the barn right behind Slim and walked through the fence breaking it down like it had been toothpicks. This was a monster sized over 8 foot tall, 850 pound bear moving in a hurry because with a blizzard fixin' to cut loose he'd just seen his appetizer audaciously walking in front of him and around a building conveniently full of his future pre-captured dinners and desserts. Second, the bear took a swing at Slim just barely raking Slim's back enough to rip his coat and reach bare (sorry) flesh. Slim had no angle or time for a shot and a handgun would have only irritated the bear worse. Third, Slim dived forward toward Jess and around the corner of the barn, body now in full adrenaline push as he heard the bear growl behind him and he fell into the wood stack. He felt the ax and grabbed it eyes wide as the shadow of the bear covered him. In the next second having turned to see Slim but not yet braced to fire a rifle, Jess raised it to his shoulder by rote and began unloading the rifle into the center of the bear's chest. Even at seven feet apart, the bear was towering over Jess. The only problem was that the kick of the rifle went straight into the front of Jess' right shoulder and the force of the gun's recoil against his unsteady strength and wobbly legs drove him back into the corner of the building on the back side of the same right shoulder jamming the broken bone directly into the building. It was like a heavy person had tackled him from the front and drove his shoulder into the building and it took everything Jess had to keep breathing through the pain. Not even aware of himself, Jess was gasping out loud in pain with each impact from the first shot. Barely able to keep his eyes open from the pain shooting through his lungs off the shoulder he ended up shooting the last 3 shells braced from his hip where he had to drop and hold the rifle or literally lose it from his hands. It was pure instinct. The bear fell dead but the impact of the bear hitting the ground shook it. Slim jumped forward just barely catching Jess as he ricocheted forward off the building and his knees buckled tilting him toward the bear and the empty rifle hit the ground falling from Jess' numb right hand. It was literally a race as to the bear or Jess hitting the same patch of ground first simply because the bear was that tall and close.

"You're better'n any daggum hound I've ever known, Jess." Slim softly complimented as he rushed past the falling bear and gently caught and maneuvered Jess' body onto his bum back against the house and away from the fallen bear. He angled Jess' body to a dry patch of ground next to the house. In the full moonlight and as close as he was Slim could see both the pain and the deadly intent set and firing from Jess' blue eyes that glowed in the moonbeams and it continued the adrenaline flow through his body. He'd seen that deadly fire once or twice when Jess was behind a gun in a gunfight and vowed to never get on the opposite side of Jess on anything. During the war he'd seen soldiers with glazed eyes before but there was something even deeper in Jess' eyes – it wasn't a killer's eyes, one who enjoyed it. No this was about the opposite, one who hated the killing, had seen too much of it and had to turn himself off inside to do it.

Jess shuffled slightly rotating the lean against the building more weighted to his left shoulder which curled his back slightly into Slim's chest. Jess was breathing challenged and getting chilled in a hurry in his underwear and robe.

"No hired hands….. to depend on. Is he….?"

One eye peering at the fallen corpse Jess stammered taking a deep swallow as his head was leaning back on the building his voice was wobbly in pain. He lost track of how many rounds he'd fired. He was trying to get his lungs back into some sort of rhythm breathing air from the disruption of the repeating rounds and being pummeled against the building. Sometime while his eyes were closed the fire in Jess' eyes retreated into discipline.

"Ya, Slingshot…..huge male grizzly and he's not going anywhere, no how. Never seen one that big either."

"Doggone mountain!" Jess wheezed letting Slim hold him sitting up next to the building, the bear not 12" inches away with the empty rifle half under the bear.

In the moonlight Slim now could clearly see only the pain in Jess' blue eyes as he tried to keep them open and still one eye on the bear at his feet in case the bear came back from the dead. Jess' right arm was laying at his side unmoving and slowly his breathing eased some yet the pain didn't stop. The repeated jarring into the corner of the house woke every injured nerve back up and the pain from the shoulder was reverberating the lung.

"Is it sick?" Jess was asking wondering why a bear would be out of hibernation.

"Don't look it. Too bad I just filled up the cellar with a steer and that buck. Lotta meat on that carcass. Eight feet, maybe 8-900 pounds, a male…good thing not a pregnant female."

Daisy and Josie peeked out the kitchen door, saw both men at their feet and then the bear spread eagle face down at the guy's feet. They both squealed and hugged each other pushing themselves back into the house with Mike in front of them. Dawn was beginning to lighten the sky.

"You can tell them it's all clear now." Jess spoke softly, his eyes closed and he coughed softly.

"Don't suppose you broke your shoulder back into line?" Slim asked and wiggled feeling something wet on his back.

Jess rolled his head along the house he was leaning on looking toward Slim, opened his eyes and gave Slim a particular look and Slim dropped his gaze and muttered, "I didn't think so." Jess had noticed Slim's wiggle and with his left hand pulled Slim's coat trying to see his back. He saw blood on the coat and tugged harder.

"What?" Slim noticed Jess' hand and tried to look around at his own back but yelled out to the ladies, "You can come out ladies, it's all clear now." He hollered at the door. Slowly they came peeking out.

"That monster get your back, Slim? You're bleeding." Jess was tugging on Slim's jacket.

"Can't be much, don't feel …." Slim was wiggling, the adrenaline was hiding the pain. Some parts of Slim's anatomy were still gathered in nerves along with the hair on his neck…..and he wasn't sure if it was the bear or having heard the odd, deep order that came from Jess' toes….'er slippers.

Daisy and Josie both saw Slim's back and Daisy tip toed around the dead bear trying to get to him and check it out.

"Slim! You're bleeding." Daisy admonished as Josie checked out Jess.

"I'd be dinner for that thing had Jess not covered me." Slim nodded toward Jess. "You'd make a half way decent officer with that booming voice of yours, Slingshot."

"Ya, well, had enough of them aimed at me in my time." Jess murmured closing his eyes again.

"Jess!" Josie started to get blubbery worried over Jess and needing to get to Slim. Jess took her hands loose from his robe and gestured toward Slim.

"Just knocked my wind, Josie. Check on Slim. Bear took a swipe at him, need to get it clean."

"I'm ok, ladies, it was a glancing blow." Slim was beginning to become spacey as shock was getting through the adrenaline and his eyes were glazing over. He squirmed feeling the burn beginning on his back… "ow!"

Daisy was inspecting his back and gently lifting the shredded material from the bleeding.

"It's not too bad, Slim. Looks like you have about 4 cuts across the middle of your back about half inch deep, but they're 7 inches long. Jess is right, we need to get them cleaned up before they can infect. Animal wounds can be the hardest." Daisy diagnosed. "Let's get you boys back inside. What do you want done with that!" She pointed in disgust at the bear.

"He can stay there for now. It's cold enough out here. We need to get Jess out of the cold, Daisy. He hit his shoulder again, so watch out." Slim advised as he sat forward beginning the process of getting everyone up.

It was another group assist, everyone helping the two men to their feet. Jess was fighting pain spasms and a hung shoulder, stiff thighs and groaning under his breath with every effort of moving and beginning to shiver in the cold morning air. Slim got to his feet but immediately wobbled from the dizziness and shock and reached for the side of the house with a "Whew!" and arched his back as the nerves discovered something wrong. Getting vertical the adrenaline was running out of his feet about as fast as it had been injected into his whole body. The cuts in his back were not life threatening, but by placement straight across the major muscles were going to be a huge nuisance squawking every time he moved. Slim couldn't help noticing again how beautiful Josie was in the morning dawn light in her robe and with her hair all down and messed up and he ushered her in the doorway ahead of his self…was a great distraction from the sear he began feeling across his back. Jess refused to crawl back into bed until he got a firsthand view of Slim's bared back and the gashes and then Daisy was going to re-wrap his sling once she finished working on Slim's open bleeding. Josie started water for Daisy, set the coffee pot going and began breakfast. While waiting his turn Jess sat with a blanket wrapped around himself sitting at the table sometimes with his head down resting on his left forearm but mostly sneaking bites of food as Josie began setting the table. She learned to not bring the cooked bacon to the table until serving the whole meal because Jess reported there was a bacon "varmint" that kept sneaking from the fireplace to the table. By the time Daisy was ready to work on Jess' sling he had his head down and had dozed off far enough he startled when she touched him as though he'd been hit in the bum with a cattle prod.

It was fully daylight, but quickly clouded over threatening to begin storming another blizzard while they were eating breakfast and Jess was hunkered over and groaning the whole time. No sooner than they were finished and Jess was looking in the direction of his bed to go "cave" away from the barometer when there was a knock at the kitchen door. Slim was eating while bare chested but with Daisy's poultice packed in his gashes and a large towel wrapped around his upper half. He volunteered to handle it due to the bear laying just outside that door. Jess was pulling the blankets up when Slim came over suspending his retreat. Behind Slim and standing in the kitchen were several Arapaho braves, one of whom was recognized as Wynonna's now-husband.

"Hey, Jess. Wait a second." Slim slid into the chair closest Jess' bunk and leaned over.

"Fast, Hard Rock, everything's screaming." Jess grumbled still arranging small pillows under the sheets supporting sore muscle locations and bruises.

"It's a group from the Arapaho village. Wynonna's husband, you know the Arapaho who was a gift?"

"Ya, ya. I remember." He grumped having to pull a pillow and re-set it better….short fuse burning.

"Him and 5 other braves are in the kitchen. They say they been tracking this bear for 4 days since they accidently rousted him from a cave they dived into when the last blizzard started. Want to know what we're going to do with it and would we trade something. I told them he was your kill I'd ask you."

"I dunno! I don't want …you said we don't need any meat. Take five people to dress that daggone mountain anyway. Give it to them. Sure they could use the food. No sense hogging resources, we all need to eat." Jess settled into the pillows as he was getting them where he wanted.

"You sure?" Slim offered. "They want to trade something."

"How about having them dress it and then bring back some of the meat and you trade some deer meat for it. Everyone wins." Jess offered pulling the blankets to his nose. "Don't want the hide, neither. Daggone thing stinks."

Mike was standing at Slim's elbow. "Aw…..I wanted to watch you and Slim dress it. Never seen a bear done before."

"Maybe they will take Mike with them for a few days, let him sleep in a real teepee and help process the bear." Slim was thinking out loud. "Be great education for him and a nice good will gesture."

"YA! I'll go.! I'll go! Please!" Mike was jumping up and down and tugging Slim's sleeve.

"I'll take care of it, Jess." Slim tapped Jess on the side of his hip and stood up.

"Good." Jess wimped and snuggled down.

Josie followed in behind Slim and pulled the blankets back off Jess' shoulder and he immediately snagged her wrist suspending the attempt at first angered by the disruption to his perfect nest until he recognized her face.

"Jo!..sie…." He started to complain.

"Shhh….shhh, Babe, you're ok, this will only take one second." She cooed and continued to pull the blankets off his back.

Jess saw the hot water bag in her hand with a towel about the same time he felt the heat as she raised it over his shoulder to reach his back. She chose the shoulder over the thigh and just eased it across his shoulder, tied it off on the side rail and covered it with the towel and rearranged the blankets over him. The second the heat touched the renewed pain in his shoulder Jess groaned hard. It grabbed him so deeply it brought a spasm up causing his entire body to arch through his back as it ran the whole length of his body soothing every jangled nerve. He smothered a choking cry like a child's only one of deep pain into the head pillow and then melted into the bed in blissful agony with another groan. The heat was the only thing that could have reached the deep pain, and hurt better than the agony of the pain the shoulder corner of his body had been feeling for weeks, plus it suspended the pressure of the brooding atmosphere. The heat of the temperature was perfect, enough to hurt without pain and soothe without touching. She waited for his spasm to sink loose and then tucked the blankets next to his body gently tucking under his edges and fluffed everything else arranging them evenly with the extra larger pillows to fill in his "cave." When her hands were leaving the last blanket he reached out and re-grabbed her wrist and brought it under his chin hugging it tightly and kissed her hand repeatedly. Josie leaned over and kissed his temple but she was fighting tears so much she was finding it difficult to talk. She had been feeling the pain in empathy and knew exactly where to put the heat and it was confirmed by his response. As she waited for him to relax out she finished rearranging some of the pillows above the quilt better spacing them for more even distribution.

"You're so different than anyone I've ever known, Jess. Just a week ago you risked life and limb saving an animal and try to rescue a human and this week risk life and limb to rescue 4 humans and have to take the life of an animal. I will never in this lifetime be able to comprehend what that must take from the human soul to experience things like that. I've seen you repeatedly fight to preserve life never giving up against the hard things in life. It's no wonder how you've been able to survive this long with the life you landed in. I do know one thing, I respect it and am so proud to have you as my brother." Her voice was soft, even a coo in her own version.

His eyes were closed peacefully and his hand holding her wrist had so completely relaxed she wasn't sure he'd heard what she said. She slipped it easily from under his chin and stroked the hair back along his temple and with her fingertips soothed the ruffled sideburns back down. Handicapped to one arm with a bandaged hand Jess had a good scruff going including the lengthening sideburns, his hair was uncombed and needing a cut, but she didn't care. He actually looked cute and somewhat vulnerable that way and not so polished per normal which to her meant he needed her. After testing his cheek with the back of her fingers checking for a temperature she brought the covers up to his ears, kissed his temple again whispering, "I love you so much, Jesse!" and then gently stood up away from the bed so not to disturb him and went back to the kitchen.

Slim worked out the deal. Mike was eagerly and openly welcomed by the braves to be put in Wynonna's care happy to teach him about their ways. She was expecting their first child in the spring and Mike could help her for a few days. The braves decided they would take the bear back to their encampment on a travois they quickly built from poles they had tethered to their horses and Mike ran and put on his coat and boots. They'd tend and treat the carcass and bring back some bear for trade of deer meat. They noticed Slim's back had cuts with a towel flipped over his shoulders yet to be bandaged as Daisy was still packing the cuts with a poultice and following him around dabbing the oozing blood and gunk. And they questioned about Jess being in bed during the day. Slim told them Jess was mending from a broken shoulder saving horses in a barn fire a week earlier. The second blizzard began in full earnest by noon which was just enough time for the Indians to get the carcass back to their village and Slim to gather eggs, feed, water the stock and batten down the hinges and Josie milked the cow. It wasn't too soon for Jess who had drifted into a deep sleep buried snuggled in his cave.

When the Arapaho returned at the next weather interval several days later the Chief came with them and they brought plenty of dressed out trade meat. Mike was with them all decked out in Indian ornaments and a complete little boy Indian outfit, and they brought back the inner chamois hide nicely sanitized, trimmed and treated. It was given as a gift to Jess as a hunter's prize. They said anyone who could bring down a bear that size with a puncture wound only 4" in diameter that had indeed penetrated the heart and do it with a broken shoulder, was a hunter with special gifts and favored by the gods. So he should be honored. They reported that because of the whole condition of the bear not chewed up by weapons they were able to part out the meat to its fullest and would be enough to feed their entire tribe a good month through this harshest part of the year, plus the fat and sallow. Jess was speechless and thrilled with his chamois skin blanket hide because he found out quickly that it was very warm yet despite being thick it was not heavy and helped temper the barometer better than 5 blankets. You couldn't hardly get it away from him. He slept with it and had it wrapped around himself when he was vertical. The braves showed him how to clip it on when wearing it. When he did put it down it was hung reverently on the bunk bed next to the holster. Somebody, they assumed was Wynonna, had put male ornamental beading on the corners which with some leather strapping made the hook and loop latch when being worn. The skin was also longer than Jess was tall and he could wrap it around himself at least 1 and ½ times, indicating how huge the bear had been and it smelled of nicely tanned leather.

They also brought a gourd with homemade ointment for Slim's bear cuts that helped heal them quicker with less scarring. Mike was flying so high and was chocked full of stories about how the Indians do this and that, sleeping in a real teepee, helping Wynonna get around in the frigid weather, they could hardly get in a word edge wise. He'd even made a good friend with another 10 ten old little Indian boy. Daisy was thrilled at Mike's opportunity for education.

Slim accepted the bear meat on the condition that whenever the tribe needed food to come to him and trade for a steer. They happily agreed. While Slim took the braves to the cellar to exchange the meats, he covertly rotated back a lot of the bear meat in the loading/unloading process and still managed to give them deer and some beef, too, as he kept a good amount of the bear meat. As they were busy shuffling meat Slim talked with the chief about the idea of trading the Indians for a small herd and he'd teach them to raise their own beef by planning on herd growth per capita of mouths to feed in a year, help them fence them in and brand them as owned and raised by their tribe. Slim figured if he couldn't get the Indian's ownership of beef authorized then he'd work a private deal and sublet the ownership under his ranch's name, much like Chuck was doing for them. The chief was at first stunned because it was a new idea, then he was thrilled and agreed they'd meet in the spring. When Slim shared his idea with the family Daisy jumped in with the idea of a combined school for the Indian kids, too, co-taught by an Indian about Indian ways even if the school was done on Sherman land. Josie wanted to start regular feast days alternating locations and menus. Of course, by the time Mike and the meat came back, the Sherman teepee had been removed from the living room although they left Jess and the bunk. The Arapaho had looked at it warily but were polite enough to not make any comments.

Not any surprise, from the furthest distance Sarabeth's letter to Jess was the first correspondence to actually make the connection at the end of the second week. Jess didn't share it because she'd written it on the ride back east and was apparently quite emotional from the evidence on Jess' face as after the first paragraph he went off to another room to read it by himself. Daisy found it later under his pillow when she changed his bedding during his trips to test out Slim's newest room addition. Unknown to anybody, the hair lock was put in the secret compartment with his other gun in the fireplace mantle. Chuck's was the second arrival 4 days after that in a packet from Maggie containing, …no she didn't read it….. one letter from Maggie, a used bone from Sasha and a packet from Chuck marked "Oil Production." Sasha was having the same withdrawal as the first 2 visits and on the first stage that went back, without any letter Jess sent a package back to her of his tee-shirt shirt he'd worn the last xx days and he stole his pillow case. He thoroughly read Chuck's "Oil package" when Slim and Josie were outside tending one of the first stages returning to regular programming and while Daisy was trying to catch up doing more laundry which she had still hanging up to dry neatly along the indoor wall perimeters all over the house. She could pull down the laundry lines within reach with a hooked pole and when filled with laundry rehook it high up where it would hang over the windows cutting any breezes and butted up next to the wall about 6" so nobody was bothered walking through the rooms. Josie had reported doing that in Denver as she grew up in order to add humidity into the house through the winter and it seemed to help Mike breathe better through the nights and Slim's snoring quieted down much to Jess' relief.

In between a re-wrap of his shoulder Jess did manage to make a list noting the design ideas for the barn, with diagrams and Josie's drawing. He signed the "oil" documents, kept one set and sent the other set right back on the next outbound stage sealing the sale of the ranch to Jess and then Jess deeding it to Slim and Josie, mostly as Josie's dowry. Jess put Chuck as everyone's temporary executor of running the ranch business and expenses until Slim took over so he could get the barn and other repairs done and Chuck confirmed the delivery of Elroy's cattle contract. He wore his chamois blanket whilst reading and signing all the documents, making some of his own drawings about the barn and writing out the suggestions and some actual real oil business took him a good portion of the day and it wiped him out for another two days with his shoulder screaming again.

Over some initial protest Jess finally prevailed upon Josie to let him read some of the letters from Sarabeth and she would write some to his dictation back to Sarabeth and Maggie while his shoulder was useless and tied down. His letters were not long, basically reporting his shoulder was preventing his hand from writing and winter snow at their elevation was keeping things and stages suspended and very boring, she wasn't missing anything. As Maggie had reported, Jess' letters were short but newsy and several times he dictated one and asked Josie to copy it and send one to Sarabeth and one to Maggie.

In return for her dictation services, she asked him as he felt up to it, to oil and polish her saddle for Scout and they set it up in the other corner of the front room by the fireplace and front window. What started as a favor seemed to act as tremendous therapy for Jess to rub the leather even left handed and polish parts doing sections at a time. It was an outlet for his fidgets being "confined to solitary confinement" inside the house and the activity worked wonderful therapy for his sleeping cycles and attitude. His nightmares even began letting up and he'd make it through an entire night without waking. In the process of working the saddle he found the cinch strap had a tear that would have broken on a hard stop and likely injured her being dumped off the horse, and naturally he replaced it. His "polish" recipe had a cleaning agent in it that took off several layers of dirt and once it dried actually lightened the color of the saddle to its original light brown because of the amount of dirt it cleaned off. Plus it removed some gunk that had filled up some carving. He scraped what he called "the demented padding" off the underside and replaced it with new sheepskin Slim had forgotten was hanging in the barn. The deeper Jess cleaned the more he investigated deeper discovering it had originally been hand carved by a famous Vaquero leather saddlery down near Mexico that Jess recognized once he found the artist's signature and would be worth quite a bit of money. When he was done with it, everyone was stunned how much it looked like a brand spanking new saddle worth more than what she'd paid and it matched Scout's coat even better. So she wrangled another letter in return for him doing the bridle and martingale to match.

On a warmer day he inspected Scout's mouth finding his wolf teeth needed filing down. He was also not happy with the bit because he'd noticed when watching her ride earlier it was too harsh for Scout's mouth and found the bit had a sharp nick in it. Slim did the teeth. Jess pulled out a hackamore he sometimes used on Traveler and put it on Scout and had her take Scout around the corral on a sun filled afternoon and all three liked the improvement in handling Scout so they decided to change her first bridle over to a hackamore not even needing a bit. That was good because they discovered the hole in the original headstall securing the ears was also so worn it was ready to break. So she had been riding gear that was a lit fuse for severe accidents and she teased him about finding and fixing all that one handed. Everyone was so bored that day they had been watching Josie follow Jess around Scout checking out the bridle and teeth. She was like a puppy at his elbow and he was in teacher mode which was quickly becoming endearing sessions between twins much as if watching them play inside a womb, only now was with words. She'd dodge in and around him often getting between him and what they were working over obstructing his view. She'd lean back into his chest looking up into his face asking questions and they'd end up in another twin-hug of closeness mostly hugging her from behind.

Feeling slightly left out Slim made a few futile attempts at humorously remarking regarding how a cowboy takes just one spill with broken gear in the middle of cattle, they learn the gear is just as vital as the horse's training and the rider's skill. Josie admitted her horsemanship came out of a fancy horse boarding adventure and they apparently didn't deem those points as part of the course work her then-parents had paid for. She said it was typical of those parents to buy her things sometimes she didn't even want, mostly didn't need, and then never did anything with her or the things they bought her. So she grew up lonely. She advised them she was ready to advance her driving skills from a surrey and buggy to a stage coach and Jess instantly faced her with an emphatic "NO". She took in a breath to begin argument and he cut her off with another "OVER MY DEAD BODY." That stunned her and Jess waved at Slim advising what happened after marriage was between her and Slim. She pouted giving Slim a sweet 'come hither' look but Slim didn't even breathe in and repeated just as stern "NO." She started to tear up at their harshness and Jess softly jumped back in stating his list in argument that among other things "stages are heavy, ride too high centered, have 4 to 6 horses which throws the steering way off, she's too delicate to control such weight and power and it carries other human lives she'd be responsible for their death or injury, they don't pay enough for that cost inside yourself when something goes wrong…. it's just not righteous for a lady to end up with carrying that all her days." Slim and Daisy grinned softly at each other watching Jess handle her and true enough, she melted and started to blubber up unable to defeat his logic and truth. Jess reached quickly and pulled her best he could one handed into a twin-hug and she folded in under his chin, then he enwrapped her body tighter pressing heart to heart the same way as when she'd first re-arrived back at the ranch (The Inheritance) and he'd nearly walked through her body corporally. Giving it just long enough to register inside her, gentlemanly done but tight to her um…natural wonders where his deep resonant voice would vibrate into her and speaking gently in her ear he nailed it down,

"In a more perfect world, Jose, you are perfectly capable of driving a stage. Be clear I don't doubt your ability by head knowledge. Don't even go down that trail. Being capable does not equal making the wiser decision. So it's not you, Baby Girl, it's the other variables, the mechanics, the weight and power multiplied by 5 more horses, under an emergency where there is no time to think, most of all there's a mental toughness to ignore the emotion of the instant in order to do out of instinct. Accidents on stages kills men drivers, experienced, tough, beefy men. Women's just not built inside their heart or outside for that task….they have special privileges like making babies and patching us men back together, fixing food knowing what flavors do what. So it's not you, Baby Girl, it's the task. I've driven several wrecks, rode others. That experience doesn't need to be planted inside you, you're just too…." She pulled back looking through light tears at his face and he held her elbow.

"Pretty" Daisy added trying to help.

"Fun" Mike added.

"Special. Jess' is right, Josie, wrecks um….. leave their mark." Slim added. Slim and Jess looked at each other not needing words knowing Slim was dealing with his own memory and self imposed guilt having driven the buckboard over that embankment nearly killing Jess. She followed each one's face as they spoke but she hesitated instantly zeroing in watching Slim and Jess looking at each other sensing their silent communication. Jess continued before she could fully grasp what was going on. Jess was leaving it up to Slim to share that area of his soul with her if he deemed it, but Slim looked away.

"I was going to say…..even when it's not your fault." Jess continued looking at Slim but Slim wouldn't look back.

"Besides, you're too pure, Jose. You live long enough, life makes more than its share of marks. No reason to volunteer for more." Jess explained finishing his thought easing the pressure off Slim to produce any further explanation, still looking to catch Slim's eye contact. To no avail and Jess frowned shaking his head and drawing his chin up.

"That's "the unseen pain that hurts worse" you keep referring to, right?" She asked…her mind quickly rehabilitating the inner rebuke she'd thought was coming on her, but realizing once more Jess was simply protecting her….again. "I've never met anyone like you, Jesse." They re-took their hug holding each other closely and she decided Jess' body was too cool and initiated a return to the house before Jess could re-chill.

After he got through with clearing away the turpentine part of his cleaning brew from the saddle rebuild the house took on a new aroma of fresh, clean leather and nobody minded that. Jess was pretty proud of it his self when he was done especially since he was repulsed by her saddle in its original condition, not so much grimy, but just sad looking like nobody cared. When he finally decided he was finished, it was a light tan with darker carving, light glossy finish and very supple. He prevailed on Daisy to soak the saddle blanket in Daisy's "special cleaning brew" which had to be left outside in a tub sitting in the sun because it stank. The cleaning solution stank. The blanket's color also lightened and the laundry water and first 2 rinse waters were black when done and had to be dumped somewhere Slim had to haul off in the wagon. The blanket hung over the fireplace like a hung picture for 4 days before it completely dried but once clean and dried, it was a beautiful Indian pattern woven blanket and Daisy made new tassels for each corner.

Naturally in the thick of several deep snows while Jess was laid up the oil well Jess named "Lizard 1" after his mother's code word gushed the third week they got home. But the production company Chuck had found and hired even in the snow easily set in the waiting pump and set up the deliveries to the refinery to make the by-product kerosene. It was a good thing Chuck had all the pre-prep done because Jess wasn't feeling up to cowboy and the entire shebang was set up without Jess needing to be there including the bank deposits. Within weeks deposits became regular to Jess' named account and he'd get a refinery receipt in the stage mail advising of the deliveries and payments. It became a steady supply of funds that was at a minimum 2 times the monthly income the stage business ever produced. It wasn't a gusher, but it was a strong, steady well with readings of a deep core. Further core samples were ordered for the "high 20" in the spring after the ground thawed but the oil people thought they could "smell more oil nearby," it was just a matter of time. They were all abuzz about the northwest corner of Wyoming having a discovery of geothermal activity and believed it was causing underground movement of oil pools along faults and fissures to the lower elevations of central and south central Wyoming. That was good news for the budding oil business because the refining process produced kerosene which was found to be a great replacement for coal oil used in lamps. It burned brighter and left less residue to clean and could be used in the same containers.

CHAPTER 11: Dueling Affidavits

It was just past 3 weeks and just after finishing the saddle when Jess began to feel somewhat human again. He quit chilling if a snowflake looked his direction and actually put back on a few pounds. A few. He barely got the belt to the original hole after a full oversized meal. The doctor making regular routine house call visits every few days still wouldn't release the arm and Jess didn't fight it because every time he moved it, the shoulder would still scream. Jess wasn't the only one who was becoming worried because even confined, the shoulder blade wasn't closing and would give way under palpitations. Suffice it to say, due to the right wing being tied down completely Jess had a nice short beard by the end of the two weeks and he'd begun to whisker Mike into a wiggling ball of laughter almost every night at bedtime. Mike would come after him with a hair brush in play wanting to brush the beard and avoiding Mike's attempts Jess would flip him over and begin whiskering him. They'd be tangled up in Jess' bed, legs and arms going every which way and Mike would be giddy in giggles and it was the happiest sounds of the day, however, often very short ones. It never lasted long, though, because Jess' shoulder and healing legs would commence complaints and Daisy would put an end to it fearing he'd have a set back. Yes, the beard at that length was wavy and no one could hold a straight face looking at him which would fire up the blue in his eyes and he'd put on a glare that shut them down. Jess got tired of being laughed at and one day when the shoulder wrapping came loose he absconded with Daisy's sewing sheers and cut it off while they were all busy and then managed to shave it. When he took the wrapping to Daisy to reapply to his shoulder she was so flustered he was out of the wrap she didn't notice the beard was gone. Nobody noticed it until that evening at supper and by morning there was a new growth of scruff, but at least no one was laughing.

Otherwise things went to routine and uneventful, even Jess' nightmares continued to space apart and he'd sleep all the way through the night. When not working on the saddle Jess slept through most of it and by the half week was getting fidgety cooped up in the house. The weather finally took a winter breather and warmed up, the snow melted and the ground even dried out further adding to Jess' fidgets. So they decided that ahead of the next round of winter blast to head into town for a full restocking of the pantry and some extra grain for the horses. Slim wanted to bring home some 1"x 12' strip wood and plastic sheeting to build storm windows for the house and especially for the barn for winter use. In the process they planned to drop Jess to do his doctor checkup in town. He agreed mostly because of cabin fever, so after a late brunch while he changed into outdoor gear and Daisy made her list, Slim and Josie harnessed up the buckboard and she saddled Scout to give him something else to do besides eat hay and as a first test ride on her "new" saddle. Daisy was reaching for her coat, Mike was helping Jess get his coat on when Josie came in the kitchen door with her shoulder in Slim's back pushing him in front of her. He was protesting, she was panicking and got Slim's wrapped left hand over the sink where it was bleeding profusely through the rag. In the living room Jess and Mike heard the commotion and came to the sink just behind Daisy.

"Stop pushing, Josie! It's just a dadgum cut, I can fix this at the pump. Let go!" Slim was shouting and wiggling but Josie's lower center of gravity and Harper DNA determination had him beat, barely.

"I'm not letting go, you need help, Slim Sherman!" Like an overwhelmed smaller athlete trying to move a mountain sized man she had her shoulder to his back barely able to move him but not to be denied. "Daisy! He's cut his hand off…HELP!"

Jess turned sharply instantly concerned and his move sent Mike flying into the couch still holding Jess' coat.

"I did not!" Slim yelled countering. He was holding his left wrist with his right hand.

"Let me see, Slim." Daisy's ever calm voice in the middle of tragedy always amazed Slim. She took her coat off and laid it on the table then began to gently peel the bloody rag off his hand while blood was dripping steadily into the kitchen sink.

"Whatever did you do, Slim!?" She exclaimed.

Jess and his shadow Mike arrived and went to Slim's left side at the sink. Mike was jumping up and down trying to see and Jess leaned sideways over the sink and watched Daisy peel the rag off. It took some work because who ever put the rag on had wrapped it over and over. Josie was between Jess and Slim and just under Slim's left shoulder while Daisy worked from Slim's right side.

"He was fixing something on the harness and was using this." Josie held her hand out and opened her blood coated fingers revealing the offending tool, a bloody, open certain 3 ½" Japanese stainless steel pocket knife. Both of Slim and Josie's hands were covered in blood.

Jess rolled his eyes and looked at Slim's pale face. Slim pointed his bloody right hand index finger at Jess' nose and warned,

"Not one word, Jess. Or I'll…." He made a fist and his jaw was tight but his face was ash white.

Jess could tell Slim was not only in pain but was extremely embarrassed having cut himself on Jess' partnership gift and just shook his head with a small smile. He took the knife from Josie and ran it under some running water in the sink next to the emergency repair operation, grabbed a towel and dried it then laid it open on the window sill to dry out inside. He figured on fully sanitizing, drying and re-oiling it later.

Daisy peeled the soaked rag completely off Slim's left hand and the blood began gushing into the sink. That was all it took. She could stand the sight of blood, but gushing blood was another story and Josie's eyes rolled up and she let out a gasp and began to faint. Jess wasn't too far behind but it was from his empathy of her faint and he caught her just as her knees buckled. But he was still on one arm so he called for Mike's help managed to get her to a chair at the dining room table.

"What happened, Slim?" Daisy was turning his hand over assessing the damage.

"Was cutting off the line from stitching a broke spot on the harness and the knife slipped. My hands were cold."

Josie started coming awake about the minute she landed on the table and she wanted back up but Jess held her down.

"Oh no you don't. Can't both of us go down. You stay here and I'll go help Daisy. Hear?"

"Ok, Jess but keep talking to me and let me know how bad it is." She negotiated while checking out her bloody hands that were drying out and Jess tossed the towel he'd used on the knife into her lap.

"Tiger, keep her here even if you have to sit on her, ok?" Jess instructed pulling Mike next to her.

"Ok, Jess." Mike stood by nervously and Josie reached over and gave him a hug. He wasn't sure he liked that or not, but she sure smelled nice, and as long as it was a quick release and not followed by a slobbery kiss, he accepted.

Jess got back to the sink and put his hand on Slim's back in support. The gash went very deeply into the palm at the base of the thumb hitting nerves and Slim was beginning to fold over his roots in stinging pain that was calling all nerves inside the body to raise a chorus of complaints of abuse. He bent over to lean on his elbows on the edge of the sink shaking his head trying to squash the now electrified nerves in pain sympathy running up and down the bones of his legs. Jess noticed Slim going into a pretzel in his mid section and began to tease Slim unmercifully. He nodded to Slim's fold over his roots.

"Singing really loud, eh?" Jess elevated his volume to match the pain and smiled hugely.

"Doggone it, screamin', Jess." Slim's teeth were grit.

"Off key, too, I'd bet."

"Whole choir's tone deaf. Not even on the same song." Slim wheezed. "They borrowed from your library."

"Hurts don' it? Should I go get my nurse from the barn?" Jess was still yelling.

Slim glared at Jess, "Very funny, Dr. Jess. I'm not laughing."

"Hey, Daisy. Me and Josie can drop his arm into the well barrel! Close down some circ'elation." Jess was referring to a recent event when he'd been caught between the back end of the buckboard and the barn door and Slim had dunked him into the well water barrel to use the coldness of the water to stop the internal bleeding on his thigh. (See "The Inheritance")

Daisy frowned at Jess and reached for the left over hot water off the stove that had cooled and began to wash the hand trying to isolate the point of gushing blood. It was bleeding so badly she couldn't determine where or how bad.

"Can you move your fingers at all, Slim?"

"Ya, some." Slim's mouth was set firm but he managed a small amount of movement.

"Jess, we'll need to tie off his wrist and slow this down so I can get in there and stitch it closed. Mike go get my nurse bag and the bandages. Josie can you come boil some more water and get the alcohol from the supply room? Quick everyone, let's get moving."

"Need some Jonesy cure?" Jess offered still teasing. His voice was back to normal volume but he was leaning on his left elbow on the sink and holding his right elbow in its tie down, peering up into Slim's face with a smirk.

"Ya, there's a bottle in…." Slim was beginning to dance in place at the pain from the inside nerve endings which were now coming on fire up the inside of his arm.

"I know." Jess pulled Slim's bandana off, rolled it and tied it at Slim's wrist and stuck a table knife in it and twisted down the pressure on the wrist. After Slim rinsed his right hand and between Jess's left hand and Slim's right hand, each one with one hand only they dried it on another towel. Jess jammed the other end of the knife into Slim's right hand to hold. He looked at the overhead clock for a time and hobbled into their bedroom for the stash of whiskey.

Between Jess running the tourniquet in timed intervals that Daisy called and Josie and Mike running supplies, Daisy got Slim's left hand cleaned but she had to stitch closed a two inch gash on the palm side in the base of his thumb. Jess grabbed a dining room chair and shoved the chair back under Slim's bum so he could sit back on it, stool like and that seemed to help the dancing some although Slim's legs were still crossed high up. He was hurting due to the depth of the wound reverberating up the nerve highway on the inner side of his arm and his attitude began to get really short. Remembering Jess' fidgets back in Denver when they'd discussed debriding his wounds, even though they were not anywhere close to Slim's "dignity" Daisy made sure to have Jess help her work on Slim's hand handing her things or holding a stitch with a clamp whilst she gathered another. As she thoroughly cleansed the wound inside and out she ran a running commentary talking Jess through it explaining and showing him what "debridement" was and other terms so he could see what they'd done to his body on the accident. Jess asked questions and was purely riveted watching her and sometimes leaning over to watch his head got in Slim's view and then he and Slim would fuss at each other. Once it was cleansed enough to suit her, Daisy used the same stitching technique she'd watched Maggie use on Jess' flank gun wound stitching from the inside of the wound before closing the outer skin which stemmed the blood gush to the surface and tied off the vessels from the inside out, closing the outer dermis last. Then she wrapped the hand embedding a clean, small jar's lid to immobilize and protect the center of the palm and then cleaned the sink up. Slim and Jess were both amazed at her work and speed plus the ingenuity of the jar lid. She reported learning that from Maggie, too. When Daisy was drying her hands off Jess commented, 'so that's debridement' and she smiled and nodded yes. Jess gave her a kiss on the cheek and thanked her for letting him "help."

It was still early enough to make the round trip to town before dark so they took off not wanting to risk a sudden loss of opportunity due to weather. With Jess' right shoulder still tied down and Slim's left hand bound up and being a little light-headed it was decided that Daisy got to drive the old buckboard needed for hauling supplies with Mike beside her on the bench. Jess and Slim were assigned to riding in the back of the buckboard sporting frowns and Josie was riding Scout cutting circles around the buckboard proudly demonstrating parade skills in complete delight of her new leather. They dropped Jess at the doctor where he also picked up some laudanum for Slim and got more bad news about his shoulder with a recommendation to seek a specialist. Daisy drove the wagon to the grain store and the clerk loaded four large bags of oats for them, they picked up lumber supplies and then she then went to the general store and loaded the rest of the wagon up on pantry items. Jess decided to stop for a haircut and a real shave, then the bank and was supposed to walk to the general store and meet them and they'd head home, but everything was loaded and Jess failed to show. So Daisy loaded the group prepared to drive down to the middle of town to save time waiting on Jess to walk in case his thigh was giving out just as they saw Jess approaching on the sidewalk. Josie was about to kick Scout into a trot to meet Jess when Slim called her back while sitting on the sacks of feed.

"There's Jess!" Josie announced and lifted her reins.

"Stay put, Josie. I don't like this." Slim quietly ordered. Something was pulling the hair up on the back of his neck and he couldn't identify it. His voice contained a tone she'd never heard, it was low and held an alarm and she jerked a look at Slim but reined Scout down and stayed put.

"JESS HARPER!" a young male voice yelled from some shadow and Slim's eyes searched quickly.

"YOU! HARPER! TURN AROUND YOU YELLOW-BELLIED REB! I'M TALKIN' TO YOU!

Slim's hand immediately dropped to his holster and pulled the loop off the trigger and he stepped down off the wagon. With his right arm messed up he knew Jess was wearing only his shoulder holster but Slim knew that Jess reluctantly wore that and not so much for use, but mental comfort.

"Daisy, you and Josie take Mike inside the store and don't come out." Slim quietly ordered.

"Come here, Josie. Mike, do what Slim said." Daisy obeyed. Josie slowly dismounted and tied Scout to the rail. Staring up and down the street she couldn't see anybody but Jess and he'd stopped in his tracks looking their direction.

"Of all days, poor Jess. Can't even get some fresh air." Daisy muttered. She took Josie's elbow to speed up getting her inside and told her, "If ever there's a time for you to lock down your emotions, dear, do so now." She had to tuck Josie past the door because Josie wanted to watch.

Jess heard the voice but didn't recognize it. Didn't matter, it was the tone. His right arm was still in the sling and it was singing loudly in pain due to the refreshed poking and prodding by the doctor who was now strongly pushing the surgery idea. Jess had his back up shoulder holster on his left shoulder with Slim's smaller .22, but it was mostly there to make him feel comfortable leaving the house. It wasn't a gunfight tool nor was he happy with the shoulder set up. He was relieved to see Josie and Mike being escorted into cover relieving his priority, then steeled himself to face the call.

"HARPER!"

Jess had the direction identified now by the third call and he turned slowly to face it, his face frozen of all emotion. He immediately saw the young male as the kid cleared the shadow of the sidewalk in front of the saloon and began walking across the street. Jess didn't recognize him at all, and he frowned because the young male couldn't have been more than 14 years old, 15 at best. Jess stepped off the sidewalk slowly and walked toward the youngster while holding his shoulder clearly in the sun so the kid could see the sling.

"You must have the wrong man, Kid. I don't know you." Jess called as he slowly kept walking to the youngster at a slow measured pace and gaining a closer than drawing distance as the kid kept brandishing his ignorance better than a slip showing under a misfitting dress.

"I know you. You yellow belly, piece of trash. They told me in the saloon you been hiding in this town. Prepare to meet your maker!"

"What'd I ever do to make you so mad?" Jess was buying time to get closer.

"Nothin' man, you're Jess Harper and I'm gunna have your reputation before the sun goes down. People will be walking a wide berth when I come through their town."

Jess and Slim both muttered under their breath without hearing each other, "Fool!"

Slim added in a whisper, "Close enough, Jess. Stop." He was walking quickly down the street in the shadows aiming to arrive at Jess' back.

Jess got within arm's length and stopped. "You don't want my reputation, kid, I'm just a cowboy. You have to work to earn that one. Look, not even carrying a .45."

The kid brashly pointed at the shoulder holster his pubescent voice cracking, "You got a gun, coward, use it!"

"You want the reputation you gunned down Jess Harper in a sling? You must be a very BRAVE man!"

Jess reached up with his left hand and smacked the kid across the jaw with an open fist knocking him back several steps and the kid's eyes widened. He swiped his mouth and nose with the back of his left hand wiping away a dribble of um….mucus from his cheek and then pulled his right arm back to slug Jess back and swung. Jess easily backed out of the amateur miss-gauged attempt and then driving up from his legs hit the kid full in the ribs at his diaphragm with his left fist lifting the kid a good inch up off his boots knocking the wind out of and bending him over. The force of the strike jarred Jess' shoulder and he grimaced but didn't grab it. The kid was bent over sucking at no air for several seconds then coughed hard a couple times. When he got his lungs moving again he straightened up finding Slim standing directly at Jess' back reaching around from behind him and holding the muzzle of his .45 between the kid's eyes touching his forehead. The kid's eyes crossed as he focused on the shaft of the handgun and then straightened back and got very wide eyed now seeing Slim towering above him by a good 12 inches. The silence was so complete an ant crossing the dirt street would have sounded like a full blown parade.

"I have had …a really bad day, kid." Slim's voice was low, slow and smooth as silk. Slowly and very deliberately Slim cocked the handgun with his thumb and its click locking in load could be clearly heard. "And you're dead."

The kid started to visibly quake, a leak of liquid began running down his leg and onto his filthy, scuffed up boot and he dropped his handgun which barely missed landing in the pooling puddle. Stutter stepping tripping over his feet the kid turned and ran down the alley. He looked back one time and fell over his feet, then crawled very fast to his feet and disappeared.

Slim eased the hammer down and his weapon silently dropped of its own weight in one smooth movement into the holster where he eased the loop safety over the hammer. The crowd that had appeared dissipated just as quietly like it was just another normal, boring day in the town of Laramie. Slim brought his bandaged throbbing left hand up and gently rested it on Jess' left shoulder.

"Shall we go home, Pard?" He softly said.

Jess was looking down the street toward the store and the parked buckboard and watched as Josie was wiping her face on the back of her hand, mounted Scout and kicked him hard in the ribs headed the opposite way out of town. Jess dropped his head and his shoulders sagged. He looked down to the ground saw the kid's uncocked handgun noticing it was old, so filthy and beaten up it would have backfired and blown the kid's hand off had it been fired. With the toe of his boot he kicked it across the dirt to underneath the raised wooden sidewalk 3 feet away where it would never been seen again, or used. Slim saw Josie's abrupt departure and gathered himself to run to the buckboard. In his love-laden heart Slim believed a loaded buckboard could catch a single, light weighted rider, but having seen the look of utter betrayal on her face, his logical mind wasn't in charge either. Just before he could spring off on the first step he took a look at Jess' face and instantly saw a deep shadow of sadness, even emptiness in his pard's countenance but his heart was leading his head and at first it didn't register. It tore Slim in half, both twins were distressed at the same time….

"C'mon, Jess!"

"Let her go, Slim. She's got to sort it out." Jess's voice was monotone and he didn't move. It stopped Slim in his tracks and he turned back toward Jess and for a second time something in Jess' face hit Slim and he frowned looking deeper at Jess as his heart went on about Josie.

"But she could run Scout into the ground by the time she reaches the ranch!" He thought for a second "She will go to the ranch, right?"

"Loves Scout, she won't ruin him."

Jess spoke from some auto pilot part of his brain as he didn't seem to want to move, or couldn't and he finally looked up at Slim's face and their eyes made contact. There were those moments where time stood still again for uncounted seconds the two seemed to read inside each other's souls. Jess' eyes were shadowed almost pleading in painful memories, Slim thought, as deep a sadness as he'd ever seen coming from those dark blue eyes under a furrowed set of eyebrows seeking something from Slim. Jess' eyes were normally more of a violet mixed with teal blue except when he was feeling something intensely, then the violet part disappeared into the darker blue which was the color he saw now. Jess seemed to be looking into Slim's inner pockets deep inside wondering where Slim had been in Jess' life when at 15 he so errantly had picked up a gun and headed down the wrong road of anger and striking back at the world in survival only adding to the unhealthy life in which he had been born. Jess was wondering what his life might have been had someone like Slim stepped into his face and whacked the snot out of him and readjusted his heartbeat before he had pulled his first trigger. For Slim, the thoughts went across Jess' face as clearly as the big type of a headline in a newspaper. Slim's baby blues misted up reading him mostly because, for a moment in time, it was a wide open glance into the inner part of Jess' soul he hid from people. It was where the true part of Jess lived….and having been repeatedly injured or betrayed it was what he intensely protected the most from the world. They looked into each other's eyes for several long seconds in silence reading the other then Slim could see Jess begin to pull down the shutters and his body shifted trying to unlock his stiff legs to move. Before he lost eye contact Slim put his injured left hand lightly back on Jess' sore right shoulder and it suspended Jess who looked quickly at Slim's face then down to the ground.

"If I had been back there, Jess, I would have." Slim said softly.

Jess' face squirmed with his chin pulled up like a drawbridge and his eyes misted ever so slightly, but his eye contact continued to break away shutting down that inner access as somehow Slim nailed him again. His voice became deeper.

"I know, Pard, and it would have changed everything." Jess then smiled very light and quick and he tapped Slim's waist above his holster with his left hand, looked at Slim briefly locking eye contact as he spoke in an even quieter tone, "you made it in time, though" and he began walking stiffly toward the waiting wagon.

Slim could tell by Jess having given him the eye contact with that sentence that Jess was speaking the truth and saying thank you all in the same sentence. Slim left his injured hand on Jess' injured shoulder and let it lightly ride while falling in beside him and followed Jess but thinking to himself, 'Ya, made it before a dastardly end, but not before the scar riddled heart had been dragged through all the crap in the world.' That was all and Slim saw the doorway accessing Jess' soul completely pull closed with a soft click. He watched as Jess glanced the direction the kid had disappeared as he stiffly was slowly gimping down the street walking to the buckboard. The expense of the day's efforts was beginning to drag him down as the adrenaline began to seep from his body like sap in the fall. Inside his heart many had been the time Slim wanted to grab Jess and give him a big brother bear hug, but Jess had a larger than normal invisible corral erected around him when it came to touchy feely show of emotion. Honoring the small moments when Jess DID open up and let him inside, Slim never crowded him physically generally with just a light whack on the shoulder or back. Slim's family had been the huggy type, but he could easily see, and had been confirmed by the little snippets of history Jess had shared about his birth home, that was the opposite in Jess' life and overly obvious physical shows of emotion made him uncomfortable. He could tell Jess knew about physical touching, even desired and needed it, but he simply had never been taught how to handle it.

"She will go to the house?" Slim repeated very worried. They reached the buckboard as Daisy drove up to them and Slim dropped his hand.

"Eventually." Jess' voice was soft.

Daisy had loaded Mike and driven to meet them pulling up waiting for the two to climb aboard. Slim was tall enough he could just sit down on the back end of the buckboard, but Jess had to give it a hop and that hurt. He landed on a small package and pulled it out from under him, read it was from Sarabeth and laid it to one side for later after the adrenaline had a chance to fully clear his system. Somehow inadvertently even in fatigue and at their distance, he wanted to protect Sarabeth from contact with his past. Daisy turned the wagon and they headed for home, feet and legs dangling off the back of the buckboard. Once out of town and into the drive home Jess reached in his coat pocket and pulled a wad of cash out and handed it to Slim but his attitude continued languid, even sad.

"What's this?"

"My contribution to the expense money for the month." Jess responded. "Finally able to pull in a steady resource to add."

"Where'd you get this much ….? You didn't have time to get into another poker game."

"Bank, while you guys were shopping."

"I mean where?"

"Lizard 1. After they pull expenses the profits are deposited by the refinery in that account Chuck had me open last fall."

"The well came in?" Slim was flabbergasted.

"Ya, it gushed about 10 days ago, just after we got back. 'At's about half of the first deposit from the first load they took off from the well and they lost some getting the pump set. They expect the profit to go up now that the well is capped and the refin'ry has established my account."

"Jess this is more money in what, 10 days, than a whole month of the stage." Slim was still in shock. "Just from one well?"

Jess looked down as his legs were dangling feeling through the jeans where the hoof groove was healing and running his left index finger along the line testing its sensitivity.

"Apparently they have bigger wells coming in north of here, but ya, finally pulling my weight some actually putting some cash into the ranch. There are reports about some pretty active underground up in northwest Wyoming, affects underground faults or something pushing oil downhill along fault lines. Not like Texas or nothing, but they've got a good turnout of wells coming in just north of here in central Wyoming. Ranch apparently happens to be setting on the downhill side of a fault 'ats what they tell me. They think the hole I landed on was a crack in an overflow fault." He tilted his head and peered over at Slim's face who was flipping through the cash with his fingers counting it. "Is it enough for today's load?"

"Jess! I don't know what to say. More than…." Slim's forehead went up and he paled considerably. "Never even gave a thought. Pa could only see cattle and Ma talked him into taking on the stage business….shh….t….like that…. never really produced a whole lot. Never considered oil or kerosene. Another good thing all off that buckboard accident where you landed…and you're mom's guidance getting you to go back down there."

Still deflecting complements, "Thanks for having my back there, Pard. Kid was a daggone fool." He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the bottle of laudanum and handed it to Slim. "Picked this up at the Doc's for your hand. Supposed to dilute this in fluid, Slim. There's a label."

"Ya, thanks, Jess." Slim didn't bother reading and tucked it into his coat pocket for later.

Being winter's shorter daylight hours they arrived home right at dark but it was still early evening. Daisy and Mike carried in the smaller items and Daisy had Mike put them in the supply room while they were in his hands so no one would have to pick them up again. She started warming up the chicken and broth she was going to add her homemade noodles that had been drying on the table. Jess and Slim doubled up carrying in the heavier items one hand each, putting the grain away and unhitching the team. There was no sign of Josie or Scout anywhere and once things were put away and while Daisy cooked, Jess went into his bedroom and closed the door. He wanted to isolate himself to see if he could pick up on Josie. Slim came in the house several minutes later and missed Jess.

"Where's Jess?"

"In your bedroom, Slim. Took his coat off, went right in and shut the door."

"Why?"

She shrugged. "He's got to be exhausted from the day. How's the hand?"

"Throbbing." He took off his coat and gear, took a swig of whiskey and headed for the bedroom.

Jess was sitting on Slim's bed with his back to the door.

"You pull your shoulder helping me unload?" Slim asked.

"Huh?"

"Your shoulder?"

"um….no."

"What is it, Jess?"

"Listening."

Slim instantly understood. "What can I do to help? Are you picking up on her? It's gunna cool off fast now the sun's set." Slim was just as worried as Jess and sat down next to him.

"I know!" There was slight irritation and Jess skootched over then stood up and started pacing.

"What do you feel?"

"Look, Pard, it's a imperfect system and brand new to me! Hafta try to separate from stuff inside me. 'Sides, she's one of them….you know…a girl." He waved weakly at the air with his left hand.

"I understand. What can I do?"

"Well, ya could leave me be for one thing." Jess barked, his aching body was already working on his short fuse.

"Ok, then!" Slim was miffed and stood up striding to the door, spurs twirling. He got the door partially open.

"Slim…." Jess softly called. Slim stopped and looked back. "I'll let you know." Jess offered, his voice full of fatigue. His "fidgets" fuel had long since ran out about the time they got Slim's hand sewed up. It had been the longest he'd been out of his cave in weeks.

"I know, Jess." Slim returned his look with a small smile recognizing the fatigue. "I'll be right out here let me know what I can do." He pointed with his bundled left hand.

Slim closed the door softly and walked into the kitchen studying his throbbing appendage. Daisy was stirring the food on the stove and looked up with double question marks in her eyes.

"He's trying to isolate the pain in his body to see if he can pick up on Josie." Slim explained and he handed her the drug bottle to do the dosing. "Maybe need to take some of that before supper. Jess says it needs diluting."

"I thought so. It would help you to sit down and raise your hand above your heart, Slim. That was a nasty gouge." She quickly read the bottle and prepared a dose for him.

Slim looked up panicky, "Where's the knife!"

"I just sanitized it in boiling water and it's drying on the window sill over the sink. Quite a dangerous weapon, Slim."

"It was a gift from Jess. Marked the commemoration of our new partnership. Special order from Japan with their best stainless steel metal. It cost him a lot of money and came from his heart, Daisy, next to my gun Pa gave me it's my favorite thing…came from Jess." He mumbled as he walked over to the window. "Only thing dangerous about it is me. Only knife I had before it was a old hand-me -down my pa gave me when he bought a new one. I'm not used to having such a nice tool. It's my fault, I just got in a hurry in the cold and didn't pay attention." As he spoke Slim picked the knife from the window sill and was polishing the dry knife with his shirt tail he pulled out and re-testing it on his arm hair and drank the dose of laudanum Daisy handed him. He grabbed a piece of bread and wolfed it down to keep the whiskey and laudanum from fighting inside his empty stomach.

Jess came hobbling into the kitchen quickly but pulled up the second he saw Slim handling the knife and pointed his finger starting to speak but Slim beat him to the sound.

"Feel anything?"

Jess did a double take, stopping his little speech to Slim about knife safety.

"I know, Jess. It's my fault and I promise to be even more careful." He folded it and put it deep into his pant pocket before a grumping Jess could re-possess it.

"I'll take it away if I have to, Slim!" Jess still had to get his warning out. "You cut something off and I'll never forgive myself." He tried to hold a strong, steady voice, but it wobbled badly as the fatigue of the day was starting up a chorus of pains and aches.

"Yes, Pa." Slim offered in submission to the admonishment with a half-smile of endearment over Jess' obvious forced "daddy face".

Jess did a half circle with his left hand extended like his radar dish and he was in listening mode then waved it over his heart.

"I don't think she's far off 'cause I can feel something. She's cold but all I get is a cross between crying and angry." He looked helplessly at Daisy. "I dunno….petticoats have this whole other set of emotions than us men. The water works thing…..really messes me up.. " he waved his left hand in the air in front of his face…as static in his brain.

"She's probably scared, Jess." Daisy offered.

"Of what? She wasn't on the street facing the gun." He countered from the male literal mind.

"Remember, she came from a high society, very sheltered life. This frontier lifestyle can be pretty daunting." Daisy tried to explain.

"What's "daunting"?" Jess' eyebrows were arched in his frustrated exhaustion.

"Overwhelming. Just imagine yourself walking into a room full of extremely rich, influential men who, let's say, deal with top level governmental affairs. You're in your chaps and they are wearing fancy suits with vests." The educator was at work expanding Jess' horizons but it went right over Jess' head as his eyebrows remained peaked in confusion…. "Huh?".

Slim interrupted offering a more "Jess-type" explanation, "Like facing a gunfight against 15 guns." Jess looked at Slim and his eyebrows immediately dropped as a silent "Oh."

"I think I know where she is." Light bulbs went off in Jess' brain and it wasn't with rich men and Daisy's example. He turned and hobbled to the coat rack and bundled up best he could with one arm free, putting his hat on as he went out the front door and grabbed the lantern.

"Wait a minute, Jess. Where you going?"

"What about supper?" Daisy called after Slim.

They followed him to the door and watched as he hobbled stiffly headed across the valley to the boulder where he and Josie had landed coming out of the stagecoach attack months ago and where they'd later had their conversation on intimate matters. The lantern that lit a circle around his feet got smaller as he went further away.

"Ok, I know." Slim understood nodding his head.

"Where?"

"Their "thinking place" at the boulder they landed at escaping the stage."

It wasn't 5 seconds after they heard a horse's hooves dancing, then Jess hollering "Josie!" and 3 seconds after that, Josie came charging up on Scout who slid to a halt at the front door laying parallel lines rivaling the best Quarter Horse stop. She dismounted in a huff, threw Scout's reins over the rail with a half hitch and stormed past Slim and Daisy in the door striding into her shared room with Daisy. Daisy followed her into the room because Slim wouldn't enter the ladies' bedroom. Josie was throwing her clothes into her luggage bag, tears running down her face and her face frozen without emotion.

"Josie, you can't leave!" Daisy's voice had risen in pitch.

"Just watch me!" was her retort.

Slim looked back into the dark to see the lantern coming back but it was coming back slower and swinging more side to side and he could tell Jess was limping. He had a small smile at their sibling twin-ness knowing Jess had flushed her from her hidey hole. He left the door slightly open to give Jess a target and walked halfway across the living room when Josie marched smack into his mountainous frame and the impact caused the luggage to fall from her hand. She sniffed and started to reach for the dropped luggage when Slim leaned over and took her arms firmly but softly in his long hands. If it wasn't for the seriousness of the matter and the hold on his heart this gorgeous creature had captured, Slim would've smiled recognizing the same tempestuous fight and flightiness of Josie's twin brother that he'd dealt with for the last 5 or so years.

"Jes…Josie." Slim's calm voice was added to his hold on her arms.

She wiggled all over and tried to shake his hands off and stomped her feet but it didn't work. Slim had just enough height advantage and measured strength holding her to be able to keep her from pulling loose. He also didn't have enough whiskey in his system though, to deaden the thrust of her shake and he had to turn loose with his left hand with a grimace. She looked up his body again only this time when their eyes met it was not the sweet creature he saw. This was the very same, identical gunfight dare he'd seen in Jess' eyes too many times for comfort and from which he'd vowed to never see from Jess directly. It flitted through his brain ever so briefly, 'if ever two people were so alike' and momentarily stopped him in his tracks as he tried to shake off the impact of just how identical two different human bodies could be in spirit. He leaned over to look her directly in the face entreatingly, half of him hoping Jess would get back in the door fast enough to help him hold on to her.

"Just tell me why and I'll turn loose." He offered trying to buy time for Jess.

His gentle response offered back to her glare the same soft baby blues he'd looked at Jess with so many times. Slim's strongest character quality was loving with an open hand and it was the only thing that would have worked on Jess and it had proven successful many times… love is stronger than brute force. But this twin had captured his soul as well, and this time his legs were quivering under the jeans. This time a quick jab of adrenaline shot through his roots fighting off the thought how he could live with her not in his life nearly stopping his heart. Inside his innards, THIS twin had become securely anchored and he hadn't even considered maybe if the sun fell from the sky that she might ever leave again. Not this close to actually connecting to his soul's mate….surely she couldn't…..

"I won't force you to do anything you don't want, Josie, but you have captured my heart and you'll take my soul with you if you leave." Slim pleaded with her from the bottom of his boots.

Daisy softly turned and went back to care for the bubbling pot on the stove monitoring her chicken and noodle main course. But watching the scene develop she started weeping, too, while stirring on auto pilot. She could see the determination in Josie and the depth of connection in Slim's soul.

Jess arrived quietly but limping badly barely made it in the door with his cranky thigh and screaming shoulder. He was already exhausted from being out of bed all day, the knife event with Slim's hand and the adrenaline from being called out in town, the double ride in a bouncy wagon thoroughly vibrating his shoulder that had been palpated yet once again by the doctor and the night that had gone cold in a big hurry indicating the barometer should be pestering him soon. He hadn't even gotten to the point of telling them the doctor's bad news. He had to hold onto the door like a crutch to get through it. His face was ashen gray with dark circles under his eyes he looked very crumpled as he pulled the door closed. He slid onto the box and slumped under the hat rack, slowly slid his hat off and it fell to the floor at his feet but the coat stayed on for warmth until the fireplace did its job. He couldn't see Josie past Slim's body, but saw the luggage on the floor and he heard Slim's statement. He sat on the box holding his right elbow with his left hand trying to put a mild tension on the shoulder to shut it up and prevent it seizing up on him. Had the whiskey bottle been in reach, he'd have grabbed a swig. As she began to speak, Josie began to lose her emotional control and ended up trying to speak through what became hard sobs and her fists came up onto Slim's biceps as punctuation, but they were not strong.

"I …. I….just can't do…it, Slim! I just found my twin….from my own blood family …a brother I always felt inside me for YEARS but could never see…who I feel breathing inside me even when we're not in the same room. He's a part of my body, I can't help it….I can't stop it! I love him so much it hurts!" She was slightly bent forward as though feeling cramps but looked up quickly at Slim's misty face then back to his chest. "Aaa..nd I've found the love of my life, someone who touches my spirit, holds me in safety right next to my brother…. You two are ALL the family I have left….. I can't stand…..watching some gutless wonder out there ….trying to kill my twin and my love stands in the path as though they are one and the same man … Doggone it…Slim! My heart stopped beating and I couldn't breathe! I can't go on living ….something were to happen to either of you!" With her mouth finally bursting out what was exploding in her heart she sank head first into his chest sobbing hard and having to suck air in between them, in between inhales, "I can't breathe ….. without you!"

Feeling her emotional despair as tightness in his chest, Jess groaned and grimaced in confirmation what he'd felt from her which had helped him find her and he folded forward over his lap. Subconsciously he grabbed his chest with his right arm with his left hand clamping it tight, closed his eyes in painful empathy, his left leg began wiggling up and down in place as confined energy. It took every ounce of will power to keep from using all he had left in strength to try to crawl across the floor to gather his twin and comfort her and his face was contorted in the pain her heart was feeling. She slowly sank in weakness to her knees, her hands sliding down Slim's body and grabbing his knees sobbing her heart out repeating at the end of a gasp, "I love you so much!" Slim was fighting his own tears and he quickly kneeled down and gathered her in his arms face to face on their knees holding her tightly surrounding her body in his big bear hug letting her release her fear and tears.

Josie got her heart's pressure released and she quieted down some and Slim backed up slightly and gently started wiping her face with a bandana he pulled from his hip pocket. She reached taking the bandana and worked her face over still relaxed in Slim's bear hug. She finished and then put the side of her head on his chest hearing his heart pounding and she fingered his bicep through the shirt, held in his hold and not in any hurry to leave it. Something about touching his solid, well defined muscles through his shirt, and being tucked tightly into his voluminous body always comforted her. Jess was always a "fit" to her body but Slim was a fortress….she needed both of them.

"I can't live without you two." She softly whimpered in utter honesty. "My heart will simply stop pumping."

She finally got her nerve up, pulled back and slowly looked up into Slim's face. His blues were red rimmed and ready to spill over the lower lids like a dam getting ready to overflow. He leaned over and instinctively knowing she was beyond any word he could offer, he gathered her in his arms and gently leaned over and kissed her cherry blushed lips pulling her tightly into his body. She kissed him back lightly at first then stronger and stronger as she responded much like a baby bird instinctively lifting her mouth back to his to receive and took deep drinks, each swallow came with stronger moans. Slim's eyes were closed and in his own zone deep in his soul the inner works were vibrating again wanting to feed her deeply and to gently infuse her with strength and reassurance. Every cell in his body was on fire wishing that they were already married and he could um..…gather her petite bundle of gorgeous spitfire in his arms and take her to the sanctuary of the bedroom and close the door where he could take away all her fears. The more her lips sought from him the harder it was to discipline his need to feed her and his right hand slipped lower down her back where with just his one hand covered her entire bum and pulled her close. It was the only thing he could think to do, accessing the pressure through her body to clamp down on his own before he completely lost control. He hoped she'd understand feeling his body's sensing her need and his needing, yearning to offer and yet hoping she'd not misunderstand. He knew she could feel him.

She did understand completely and it seemed to Slim from her immediate response that her spirit quickly accepted and joined opening as a receptacle seeking his offer even if it had to be in spirit only until propriety was in place allowing them a full and physical fusion. Slim heard her give a soft whimper and it became a deeper communication as she put her arms encircling Slim's muscle defined chest and leaned tightly into the security if his hold. Her hands grabbed the back of his shirt in tight fists and she moaned softly her body arching into his and as the strength poured through his muscles into her pores her lower back curled forward tightly into his body. It took every ounce of discipline and love for him to keep from wrapping her legs around him in response, yet wanting to honor him by waiting for their public vows. They each knew their spirits had already bonded in promise and that was the true source of strength. Had Slim turned away or reproached her for her fears, it would have separated them forever by wounds. Somehow working with her twin over the last several years had taught him about their spirit and he knew what she needed most. Without words, with her he simply tended to her need.

Poor Jess. All he could see was Slim's back and her hands, still he looked away to give them privacy and unconsciously he lightly brushed his lips with his left fingers. His twin empathy's radar was receiving more data in other zones than he realized mostly because he was not a female body so those things were unrecognized. But the all-encompassing and tenderness of the lip communications going both directions could not be denied and didn't need visual confirmation. Jess turned his gaze away and quietly pulled himself to his feet and using the backs of the furniture along the path he gimped toward the kitchen as subconsciously his left hand then rubbed his chest feeling that contact. He had seen and experienced Slim's deep strength from his spirit and open hand many times and it had made a complete change in his life, so he knew Slim could help Josie. It was a little different this time, though, seeing it help Josie and feeling her both seek and receive Slim. But he also knew Slim and this time just as importantly, Slim was receiving something deep in his spirit in return, too. Jess both felt and understood what was going on between them, yet it confused him slightly not sure he should be feeling these deep levels for any human and not sure which was Josie in empathy and which was Slim via their ability to read each other. Josie could reach Slim in ways Jess knew he could never even broach and in ways he could never repay and Slim needed to be needed in those deeper areas and to receive it in a very real physical manner, and Josie could. So it was beautiful to see Slim receiving something back for all the efforts and hard work he'd invested into the Harpers. A man's fulfillment is released when he can feed his soul's mate, and Slim both needed and deserved exactly that kind of fulfillment. Understanding that was happening between his twin and his pard felt really good, Jess thought, but the rest was verging on overloading his empathy twin channel not sure which or who was feeling what between Slim and Josie. As a male and perhaps the closest human to Slim, Jess could perceive what Slim was feeling but at the same time the twin empathy that was seeking and receiving from Slim was overly strong, new to him, undeniably real and something he would personally never feel or even seek from any man. Perhaps it was being in the same room he was just physically too daggone close to such a strong, maybe overload happening in his twin's body verging on moral intrusion and it made him happy for them but extremely uncomfortable inside himself on a personal level. From the overload Jess had to pause at the fireplace holding onto the mantle so hard his knuckles turned white as he bowed his head looking into the fire and nodding to himself deciding he really was too close geographically for what was going on. Both her and Slim deserved their privacy and inside himself he began realizing that for Slim and Josie to truly have each other, and at a level of a marital union, he would have to back away from both of them. Being geographically this close was too close and an overload which meant at least not under the same roof and that part truly saddened him. Nothing could make him happier for them, but he realized the same thing would cost him… twice. He would be losing physical closeness with both of them because as they merged together he would require of himself to become second place in both their hearts. That was the hardest of all thoughts and he rubbed his chest over his heart, maybe feeling a twinge. It was all truly confusing as something so completely new to him feeling such a depth of love for both of them, his two best and closest people. But they more than deserved their happiness and intimate privacy and they completed each other perfectly. And…. well… standing alone was not new to him and besides, their completeness was of more importance than his void of companionship. He'd been alone most of his life, it was no stranger. Facing away from them trying to pry some distance between them and himself, Jess edged on around the fireplace to the stove where he abruptly almost ran into Daisy whom he was not expecting. He smiled softly returning Daisy's gaze and then looked into the pot she'd been stirring and took a sniff trying for a diversion, maybe food would be strong enough to divert his overload, and he was starving anyway from the output of an overly long day. Daisy slipped her arm around his waist and gave him a side hug and he hugged her back softly grateful for her steadying assist. He took the wooden spoon from her hand and dipped out a noodle swimming in broth, blew on it for a second, then put it in his mouth. Unrecognized by his brain, in his twin-ness he was active now feeding himself on what to him was nutritious strength by food to an inner craving starvation and emptiness, but was identical with what was occurring in Josie's spirit receiving Slim's love. Daisy's feminine intuition quickly identified it and she looked softly into Jess' face.

"Do you know what you're doing?" She asked softly.

"I'm eating, Daisy. Starving, trying to feed myself." Jess replied quietly but he was concerned over the obviousness and why she would even need to ask. He'd found a nice sized piece of chicken and ate it, too, finding it more than sumptuous, he could've dived into the pot of warm and ate his way to the rim.

"You're starving because it's been a long time since you ate."

(Well) "Ya."

"Could your empathy still be receiving ….." she nodded toward Josie's intense lip lock on Slim.

"She's hungry?" Jess' male mind asked out loud confused by his literal hunger.

"There are different kinds of hunger, Jess, especially one from her history."

Jess looked at Josie for a few minutes then back at Daisy not sure he understood. Too many things were jamming up his being. He was in overload and way past energy from incoming mixes from Slim and Josie all at the same time as hunger, fatigue and pain was pulling him down. She read his confusion.

"What was her fear and what is Slim feeding her?" She tried to help with a hint.

"Security. Love." Jess reached into his own experience and he raised his head in memory. "A sense of …..belonging."

It came out of his mouth softly and with misty eyes, he reached over and gave Daisy a side hug.

"She grew up with everything handed to her but…?" Daisy tried to help him nail it down.

"…but starved for love, security and a sense of belonging." Jess was flooded with memories of how he felt when he'd arrived at the Sherman Ranch and what kept tugging at him drawing him time and time again off the call of the big open. His spirit had found wholeness on the Sherman Ranch learning a healthy family protocol and what it felt like being wanted, needed, whole. Even in her own life, all the riches of a pampered Denver lifestyle had failed Josie dumping her in isolation into a scary world. She had been drawn back here, too. He dropped his head shaking it slowly side to side at Daisy's perceptivity, then with misty eyes looked at Slim attending to his twin's need just as truly as Slim had helped him with his own personal abysses.

"He's helping her like he did me." Jess murmured was barely audible. "One amazing man, Daisy."

"You both are, Jess."

Slim and Josie's kiss softly faded and Slim reached up with his finger and nudged the fallen hair off her temple and cheek from when she'd leaned her head against him with a tear drenched cheek feeling stronger now locked in the secure strength and confidence of his arms. Slim bathed her puffy face with tender little kisses then they spoke some quiet words to each other and smiled sharing another deep, juicy but somewhat shorter kiss. Then Slim stood up and helped Josie to her feet and with his foot he pushed her luggage bag back toward the bedroom door. Gaining her feet she turned and saw Jess standing in the kitchen and re-taking Slim with her arm around his waist, she walked slowly but determined to Jess. He saw her come and walked one or two steps to meet her but unable to lift her with his bum shoulder, he simply enwrapped her with his own bear hug. Despite the lack of working parts on Jess' body once again there was no space between them as their twin-ness once again merged. Slim pulled back at the last second and smiled at Daisy while waiting for Josie to finish with Jess who had his face at her ear in her messed up hair and her lips were near his ear. She whispered into it.

"Thank you for coming and finding me. I never felt so lost."

"To the end of the earth and back, Baby Girl." Jess cooed.

She sniffed and pulled back leaving her hands on his biceps and looked him in the eyes.

"I know you would. And I will go that far to find you…if I ever have to."

Jess took her right hand in his left and gently wiggled it looking her back in the eyes.

"We don't get a choice of what family we're born into, and the heritage that comes with it."

She nodded, "I realize that." She moved her left hand up from his waist and drew her finger across his forehead trying to sweep the ever present forelock to one side and then tested the side of his temple with the back of her fingers feeling for a temperature. Reading his ashen face, he was, as she thought, cold and exhausted and the tension in the muscles under the skin of his face confirmed the pain he was trying to hide.

"Some families have hard heritages, some not so hard, but everybody's life has risks and challenges mostly because we're learning this as we get older and tend to make bad choices. But you can't let fear and anxiety get a grab on or else it will freeze you up and you will lose the advantage you have from living through all those past challenges. Slim's had my back so many times…"

Slim interrupted adding… "and Jess has had my back more times."

" 'At's what makes a relationship. You never give up, Baby Girl, you keep pushing through the challenge and the fear together, each one adds their strength or ability to the weakness of the other and by working it together you both succeed. Slim knew my gun hand was in a sling and I'm not fast enough on a shoulder holster, so he covered my back for me. That's what you saw this afternoon and it doesn't happen every day."

"Like you helping Daisy stitch Slim's hand back together when he couldn't help his self, or you shooting that big, bad bear trying to swipe Slim off the face of the earth." She offered.

"Exactly. That's how both friendships and marriages grow and become stronger. It fails when one quits and runs away." Jess kept teaching. "We have a rough life out here, Sis, life and death always lurking on the fence post."

"So you're saying I have to learn to get in there if I want to be a part of this relationship, like it or not."

"Most important, Jose, don't let fear freeze you up and don't run from us, run TO us. Worse thing you can do is isolate yourself, think of the predator who always goes for the straggler."

"No family or relationship is safe and perfect, dear, no matter where you live. Everyone has the same story of enduring risks, losing those things you love most, no matter whether you live in Denver's money, or out in Laramie cattle country. It's called 'life' and you'd be facing something or other whether here or in Denver." Daisy offered in her motherly way.

"Ya, well, all the money in Denver didn't save the family I grew up in and they self-destructed of their own brand of risks." Josie was tying it down in her own history. Slim, Jess and Daisy could easily see how Josie's personal environment had disintegrated just as Jess' personal family had only it was years later, so she was running a lap behind him.

"Ya, well having NO money on the other side of your family didn't save them either. Money doesn't cure nothing." Jess added.

"I think today's event was just so brand new to you, Josie, the newness of it scared you. After you live out here a while longer, these fights are never enjoyed but they are no longer so startling. You just have a whole new set of experiences to discover that's all." Daisy concluded.

"You're right, Daisy. I've never seen a dual of affidavits before." She snuck a sheepish grin at Jess and her Harper feisty DNA began to rise up. "I really liked how you got that fool in the whiskers, Jesse. He really deserved a good spanking." She looked up at Slim and giggled, "And I almost peed my pants, too. Golly! You really were awesome fierce there, big guy!" Her index finger shot into the air. "Oh! I need to put my little Scout to bed." She startled but Slim put his hands on her shoulders.

"I'll get Scout, you unpack."

"With one hand?" She pointed at Slim's bandage wrapped mitt. "I'll unpack later. 'Sides I need to apologize to him and tuck him in special. He didn't need my heels in his sides, my sweet little boy."

She reached up offering Slim another kiss and he quickly leaned over to accept. Then she reached back and kissed Jess on the chin….and Jess wondered, somehow her and Maggie both had found where his mother had always planted kisses in his chin dimple.

Before he could respond she quickly turned and marched to the side of the kitchen sink. Hanging in a net cloth were some carrots she had found at the market that was her stash of treats for Scout. Someone, however, had mis-hung the cloth on the top hook in the wall and she couldn't reach it even on her toes and even gave it a hop attempt to no avail.

"Aah…..arh! I reeally need a tall person! A very, very tall…blond ah-type pers….son …..somebody … moved…my uh…" She called with a playfully pout fill voice as she was hopping and half looking over her shoulder. Daisy saw what she was doing and grinned into the pot she was stirring.

Slim had been looking at Jess who was wobbly and was checking out his ashen face. He saw what she was after and walked up behind her trapping her gently against the counter with his body at her back and easily reached over her head and retrieved the hanging treat bag. She looked up sheepishly at him and he smiled looking down at her enjoying his moment of chivalry as a taller person, not to mention contact with her body. She retrieved a carrot and handed the bag back to him and he easily rehung it on the bottom hook. As he rehung it with one hand he reached around her with the other trapping her from behind and leaning over her slightly gave her a hug from behind. She nestled her head into the side of his face and wiggled some snuggling in against his body and put her hands over his encircling arms.

"Thanks for having my back, Babe!" She cooed softly hoping he would catch her drift that she was applying her new lesson.

"Always my pleasure." He cooed back in her ear and gave her a sweet kiss on the side of her neck and immediately saw the goosebumps pop up on her neck and upper decollate…..not a bad view of her wonders of the universe from a higher perspective, either. Well! He is a healthy, male bachelor with a committed heart and after a severe threat of losing her, now safe back into his life he was encouraging his self by holding his future secured in his arms. Being a healthy female, it was a compliment to Josie and she smiled on one side of her mouth realizing her fiancé was enjoying his 'rescue' and the view even though she had on a moderate neckline and was still wearing her coat from earlier. So she wiggled her bum and slightly projected it backwards toward his capture and this time Slim blushed blinking quickly several times, groaning quietly he raised his head and quickly released her. It was a moral necessity because it was taking every ounce of discipline Slim had to control his self. Not wanting to aggravate or embarrass him she wheeled on her heel and toe smartly proud of their secret little communication and headed to the front door, over her shoulder she announced like nothing had happened.

"He sure enjoyed stretching out them legs of his, though. AND that saddle! Wow! Now that's a ride!"

Slim smiled at her adjustment and pliancy accepting their counsel and his way of life with renewed hope in his own heart. Tucking his heart back into his chest in relief he took a deep breath and looked back re-checking Jess.

"That saddle did look awful purdy, Jess. When you gunna start on mine?"

Jess shot a look of disgust at Slim but didn't miss a beat, "About the third time you write a letter for me and make 3 copies."

They both chuckled at each other knowing that was never going to happen.

"Slim why don't you go find Mike while I get the biscuits in the oven? He's supposed to be studying in his bedroom." Daisy suggested as she grabbed the bowl of rising dough to begin forming biscuit shapes.

"I'M gunna sit down." Jess announced as he gimped to the closest chair at the dining table still wearing his jacket. "Make extra biscuits ok, Daisy? Please." He had thoughts on peach preserves for dessert making up for all the extra excitement from the day.

Daisy moved the table settings and a container of cut celery she'd gathered earlier and put them down in front of Jess and went back to the bowl of flour. He eased quickly into a chair, promptly planted a celery stalk in his mouth and passed the dishes to their place settings.

CHAPTER 12: Pre Wedding and Shoulder Surgery Deals, Decisions and Deeds.

Slim and Josie couldn't decide where to have their wedding. Josie didn't want anything big or fussy because she'd been down that road and had gotten exhausted so she didn't want a repeat. Slim wanted something fast and yesterday wouldn't have been too early, but Jess bristled severely and threatened him with bodily harm if they eloped because he wanted to walk his twin down the aisle. Slim reassured Jess that he wanted Jess for his best man so that calmed Jess down and both Josie and Slim began breathing again. The people in Laramie who'd known Slim since he was a pup wanted to celebrate with him but the Wentworths offered their resources and promised to find lodging for all visitors from Laramie and to pay for the entire reception, cake and party and all. Their little country church was bigger than Laramie's, too, and currently had a parson. The Laramie saloon wanted to host his bachelor party. For his loyalty and service to the company The Overland Stage company gave them a free round trip passage to anywhere the line travelled as a honeymoon. Slim didn't want any wedding night shenanigans so he told everyone he wouldn't share where they were going, they were going to just get on the buckboard and head out to where ever it went and switch when they wanted to and then return when they were ready. Sarabeth was thrilled to be asked to be the maid of honor, but that put the wedding out toward spring after she came home from college graduation. She had more or less decided to forego the commencement and leave as soon as classes were done and being asked sealed the deal. It was however frustrating to both Slim and Josie who were having extreme difficulty being so near each other physically and not be married. Having other people living in the house was a blessing in disguise as was the new business arrangements, warming weather, cattle calving and shuffling plus projects for fix up became important because then they didn't have much free time to be alone. Suffice it to say, however, the busy ness of wedding plans were becoming a disaster and spring fever was frustrating.

Making things worse Jess' shoulder wasn't healing fast enough or right and the local doctor was now pushing him to seek a specialist with more knowledge and training in order to have corrective surgery to realign the oval concave broken dent. Irritated and tired of the pain as soon as the next blizzard broke up Jess made an appointment with Dr. Tim in Denver. He planned on using his trip for a consultation to cover up the secret meeting with Chuck on transferring the funds to finalize the sale and transfer of Elroy's ranch to Jess and then deeding it to Slim and Josie. Chuck's "excuse" was to finalize the transfer of the hospital property to Dr. Tim and meeting Jess in Denver for payment transfer on the ranch. So those two plans were working great until Josie and Maggie got wind of a Denver trip and they both instantly latched themselves onto the trip "out of concern for Jess" but they really wanted a pre-wedding shopping and planning trip. Chuck and Jess couldn't say no, so they suggested Josie and Maggie "use the trip to shop for the wedding, dresses, supplies, etc.," which they were already planning anyway, so everyone was happy with their various triangles of stealth plans of surprise. Maggie and Josie were both itching to get to know each other more closely because Josie reminded Maggie of their mother Sarah Harper and Josie wanted to learn more about her natural mother, too. Chuck and Jess conspired with each other to keep Josie away from even looking at Elroy's ranch again because Chuck had that ranch's hands building the new barn according to the notes Jess had sent him, and Maggie agreed to keep Josie so busy she wouldn't even think about the ranch "she couldn't buy." Whew! Anyway, serious overlapping triangles would have written tons of mystery novels…if you had time to sit down and write them….and I'm trying my best to keep the story shorter for those reviewers who complained.

As a special treat Chuck took Jess and his second beard to Chuck's favorite upscale Denver barber for a special "man-sauna treatment" haircut and shave and then set off for the doctor appointment. Jess was so polished and shiny that both Maggie and Josie nearly swooned when they saw him and for several hours his face was not pinched in pain – until they got to the Dr.'s office and he got palpated again. Dr. Tim was just back from his honeymoon and Jess endured another poking and prodding examination including another fireworks display in his head from the palpation of the bone renewing all the pain. The Doc was extremely unhappy with what he saw in Jess' shoulder and that there had been that long of a delay. The ribs underneath and just below the upset shoulder blade were additionally cracked which everybody had been missing except Dr. Tim and he was amazed the lung hadn't been punctured as well either by a rib or by the concussive blow and was only bruised. He said the ribs and lung would have been painful enough and with the cold and wet had the lung punctured, they well could have lost Jess to pneumonia. How Jess put up with the three-fold pain again stunned the doctor and he was extremely unhappy. That is an understatement as in truth, he blew a short circuit… er..his professional demeanor mostly upset with himself having been away so long that Jess had to wait. So he immediately gave Jess some pre-surgery home- made medications for pain mixed with herbs that relax muscles and Echinacea to build his white blood count, then set up a priority surgery for Jess. The earliest they could get him in was the day after the next day at the medical center that had treated and cured Josie. Dr. Tim had set himself up with that group until he could get his emergency hospital up and running. That fast of an appointment made Jess nervous but Josie was happy to see old friends. The Dr. believed Jess' shoulder wasn't healing quickly because the ligament and muscle swelling pressure held the concave dent in the wrong place under tension and by not healing properly would definitely cause Jess problems in his old age, if not failing him sooner. He even believed it would make a return to doing cattle work unwise because it could give way under a stress event causing an even worse disaster. Jess was through with sudden disasters causing him pain and sitting him on the side lines of life and so he surrendered to voluntary surgery. It was expected to be a quick half hour fix with a small incision and along with two days of muscle relaxant medication, when anesthetized they'd be able to hyperextend the shoulder in a controlled manner thus relieve the pressure holding the shoulder broken so it could be assisted back into alignment. He'd realign the shoulder bone and check the lung and the ribs below for alignment and close the incision. After a round of therapy with the new Mrs. Dr. Tim, he'd be sent home with exercises and wearing another newly invented brace that would be easier and faster than wrapping and re-wrapping bandages and slings. So Jess and Chuck scheduled the in-between day for business "finalizing property transfer (funds for both deals)" while the ladies were sent to the other side of Denver for wedding shopping. Then everyone would be together in the surgery waiting room with prayers and fingers crossed when Jess had surgery so if Josie fainted, she'd be amongst medical types. As long as the doctor could assure him the medications were of natural products Jess agreed to take them and began to get woozy from the relaxant herbs. Chuck sensed and Maggie confirmed she also sensed that Jess had experienced some bad events with laudanum and or morphine somewhere in his past, but they didn't pressure him.

CHAPTER 13: Esquires, .45 caliber affidavits, will the real Jess Harper stand up?

The property transfer in the morning with Dr. Tim for the hospital deal went without one hitch and smooth as silk. Dr. Tim had his business affairs in just as sharp order as his medical work including the financial backers and he came loaded with fists full of wire transfers. However, that afternoon when Chuck and Jess worked on the ranch wedding present transfer of funds, things hit a hitch (in the get along). It was fine with all of Chuck's lawyer signing papers but when they went to the bank where Josie's estate money that had been willed t0 Jess had been stored in a safe deposit box, the clerk couldn't find Jess' name so he couldn't match his key. That meant according to the bank Jess didn't have a box, thus all that triple-estate money was missing in action. This was at the same time found Jess standing next to Chuck looking like he'd lied about it since the bank claimed they'd never heard of Jess Harper. Facing surgery the next day with his shoulder still screaming weeks after the injury and now affected by muscle relaxant drugs in pre-surgery AND now trying to make the biggest financial deal of his life buying a huge horse ranch and business AND all alone by his self, as a gift for his twin and his best pard two people meaning the most to him, on THEIR special day, AND he was standing in the presence of an older man whom he'd impressed? Well! Needless to say, Jess was fiddling with his shoulder 'affidavit' ready to blow his short fuse…maybe just forget the fuse and go straight to explosion. If that wasn't enough on top of everything else guess who showed up in the lobby, saw them standing to the side at the desk and approached him? It was not, maybe even the last person Jess ever wanted to see again, but Josie's former attorney Esquire John King his self who, among other issues, was supposed to have secured said estate money in this very bank. Did I mention the word "pressure?" If the pressure holding Jess' shoulder broken wasn't enough, now it was his integrity called into question. For Jess, having that much of "Jess-money" under his sole responsibility disappear without a trace was enough to cause a planetary shift in the universe causing a new orbit of the Earth's path around the Sun, if not a whole new orbit for the entire Universe. It took every fiber of Jess' being to stand still and had Chuck not been standing there and with Slim completely absent, it is likely Jess' entire future would have been completely altered once again and not for the better. Jess looked at Chuck then down at his boots and then walked in a tight circle adjusting his shoulders, the left one now tightening to match the right one and his chin was drawn up like a drawbridge again, this time biting his tongue trying to control it. Jess glanced back at the Esquire and as he got closer Jess noticed a limp and a different countenance coming from the lawyer's face and he frowned. The Esquire also instantly noticed Jess' right arm was in yet another sling, and even though the affidavit was there, and yes, he checked right down to finding it in a shoulder holster, but the sling made him safe enough to approach. However, he didn't offer even a left hand shake.

"Mr. Harper." John's voice was professionally courteous somewhere right of friendly.

Jess had no way out and was trapped in the bank with Chuck's expectations encircling him like a lasso. Jess nodded and gestured to Chuck. "Charles Wentworth, this is Josie's former attorney Esquire John King." Jess voice was deep and as cold as the North Pole in winter.

Chuck and John shook hands formally but all three men were reading the tension that was so dense you could have cut through it with the pree-verbial Japanese stainless steel pocket knife.

"I trust things are well for you and Josie." King offered diplomatically and professionally not aware anything was amiss with the bank.

"We're fine." It was an uncommitted tone as Jess was not interested in drawing out the meeting.

"Looks like you're working with the estate money so I won't keep you." His attitude was quite different from the aloof and almost snide one during their last meeting in the hotel and in front of the judge getting Josie legally alive again.

"Well I would like to work with it but they can't seem to find it, John. You wouldn't know anything about that?" Jess' voice was a poker neutral but his face was as deadly serious as if he were pushing King into a gunfight.

Immediately the hair on the back of Chuck's neck stood to attention and he rolled his head feeling them, yet nothing could have moved him from the spot. Chuck had known Jess' father and two older brothers back in his days in Texas just after marrying Maggie and it had not been a happy experience. Chuck found Jess' father and elder siblings carbon copies as devious devils of worthless character, lazy and full of whiskey and women of ill-repute. It had been why he'd wanted to somehow adopt or kidnap the then 5 year old Jess out of that world but had in his own youth, made the mistake of leaving Jess and trying to not make matters worse for him with the father. He'd long wondered if his leaving Jess behind with the dastardly father had either ruined or infected Jess, too. He quickly took a strong look in Jess' direction confirming the source of the hair curling and his heart beat skipped a few times just feeling and seeing for the first time what had only been inference to a reported reputation of Jess' depth as an edgy and deadly gunfighter giving him shadows of the unfavorable father. He frowned slightly where no one could see him and his forehead wrinkled in distaste as a flick of the memory of Jess' disgusting father whiffed through the room. Because of the deadly vibration oozing from Jess' body, which Chuck could easily read as a "tell" from his poker acumen, it would have been impossible for Chuck to have NOT wondered if he'd really read Jess so far wrong all these years. He was about to find out if Jess had that much of the sordid father deceitfully hidden under wraps of the smooth charismatic cowboy. In Chuck's world, nothing separated truth from lie quite as effectively as money, the larger the amount, the faster it happens. Now, in these moments, Jess was isolated away from the shadow of Slim's influence or constraints and standing on his alone in what was obviously one if not the top business deal Jess had ever been involved with. Chuck could feel and see he was standing right beside a fully loaded keg of high explosive power and it took every ounce of self control within Chuck to not inch his way backing up from nearness to Jess physically. But Chuck decided this time he was NOT going to leave this young man alone in the presence of adversity. He'd stay at his back come hell or high explosion and find some way to pull Jess off these poor business folk.

"Really?" King looked past Jess to the man at the desk with the file drawer whom he apparently knew quite well. "Fred, what's the problem?"

"There's no Jess Harper in the file, John." Fred shrugged lifting his hands in question. It was obvious to the amount of sweating Fred was doing that he was under stress.

"Sure there is, Fred. He's got a large box, opened it myself about a year ago. Number 137 I believe."

"No sir, checked the files twice."

"It's opened with Slim Sherman as co-signer. Try that name."

Fred looked a little surprised and immediately dug into the drawer under the "S" tab.

"Sampson, Selleck, Seally, Sher…..Harper, Jess….! Here it is. Jess Harper. It's even got his name as the owner. I am SO sorry…this is just…obviously misfiled. Jess Harper, co-signer Slim Sherman. Box #137. I saw that box this morning when I was back there reorganizing them numerically." Fred was extremely relieved and drew a huge sigh while he squinted at the bottom corner of the card, "Initials, KBJ….that explains it. Gentlemen, I am deeply embarrassed. This department was being handled by an employee who was fired not 3 months ago. Apparently, this ex-employee didn't understand what alphabetical order meant and we've had several issues come up from his time of employment. How can I make this up to you?"

Jess looked at Chuck who was making a face and tugging on his earlobe not happy with inefficiency and sloppy workmanship and was exactly how Jess felt, yet Jess had compassion on people who are not perfect. Jess' hand slowly filtered away from the holstered gun but continued to fidget at his side.

"How about we go take a look inside 137 and see if anything else has been "miss filed"?" Jess offered and shuffled from one foot to the other.

"Of course, Sir, right this way."

Jess looked at King expecting him to disappear but he acted like he was going to follow them.

"Um, just how many people go into this room?" Jess asked as he followed Fred.

"It's a private room, I use this key and pull the drawer, leave the room and you open it with yours. Whomever is in that room with you is your choice." Fred explained.

Jess looked at King.

"I'm just going to stand outside until you tell me everything is as it should be. It was my responsibility to get it in there and I will wait to see this through." King responded hobbling behind Jess.

Jess nodded collecting Chuck and they were shown into the room with King left outside. Fred pulled the box and left the room and closed the door.

"I don't need to be in here, Jess. This is your property." Chuck offered as Jess' hand started to lift the lid on what should be a very large sum of money. Jess stopped with the lid shut.

"I need a reputable witness, Chuck, if you don't mind."

"Smart idea." Chuck was really beginning to breathe easier about how Jess was handling himself and now impressed by his forethought as having a witness.

"What would you do with this inefficiency, Chuck? Cowboy misses roping a steer and somebody could die. You handle large sums and important documents. How do you judge who to trust?" Jess was sincerely curious. Slim's "bank" was the cookie jar or the flour container and he never seemed to have more than $20 or so at one time and his self never saw this much money either. At least he had a bank account in Laramie but it rarely got over $300.

"You're right, son. Handling your own property is one thing, but being entrusted with someone else's is altogether another. Doesn't matter how much it is, is the principle. Most of us large ranches keep our own fireproof safes hidden on our property and we don't bring valuables out at the time of the deal. We make appointments and bring it later, like you set up here. That way nobody knows we have anything on our property. Elroy's got a safe at his house, has room for this size box, or I have room in mine you can use until Slim moves in and takes over Elroy's. It's your choice. And whatever is in here, you tell no one, just that you're closing the box."

"I agree, Chuck. I would feel better it being in your safe. I trust you more than any bank. With the amount here from the 3 combined estates, Josie's adopted parents, the Bartlette estate and the estate Josie had started….as I said from the documents given to me two of them were very, very old Denver money. We'll count it, and if you'll load it in the satchel, I'll go clear King and tell Fred to close the box. I'd like to get this into your safe next on the list. Don't like carrying this around."

"We can do that, son. I agree with you."

They counted the money only Chuck wisely loaded it as they counted and it was the accurate amount. As Chuck secured the satchel Jess slipped out the door finding King pacing with Fred as his shadow and they looked up as Jess approached.

"It's all there, thank you John for your assistance. Fred we're going to close the box if you need paperwork signed."

"Yes Sir, I'll go get that ready," Fred left.

Jess looked at King who seemed hesitant to leave. Chuck had secured the box and the satchel and slipped out of the room and stood at the doorway behind Jess to listen how Jess handled the matter in retribution or compassion.

"John?" Jess wasn't sure why the attorney was lingering.

"Um….Mr. Harper. I'm…rarely at a loss for words. You've figured that out by now, but I have to get this said."

Jess frowned slightly but turned to face the attorney giving his full attention. "What is it, John?"

"When we met last time, you put your um… affidavit on the table and told me until I've faced death I couldn't understand how the brain functions when faced with no hope and that when I did, I would be a better advocate. Have I remembered that accurately?"

"Yes."

"About eight months ago I had to meet a client in one of Denver's less favorable neighborhoods and it was against my rules, but I couldn't change the meeting. Long story short, it was with my client who I later found out was a friend of a bad person I had sent to prison back when I was a prosecutor fresh out of law school. In retribution they had set up a robbery and his gang held me up at gunpoint, took all my valuables and some money I had on me. They then shot me at point blank range and left me for dead. As I was laying on the cold bricks with rain starting to fall on my face and unable to move, your words came back clearly through my head as I knew I was dying, never to see my family again. I realized that no matter how much education I'd had, all the advantages my parents had given me to get ahead, and how many rich people I had represented, I really hadn't been a good advocate for what was right. I'd started in the business for the right reason but when the money began to come in somehow things got shuffled and was about making money and buying things for my family. The police that found me thought it was rain on my face but I was really crying. After all the successful cases I had, I was empty, and laying there still young with a family who would go on in life living off the money I'd accumulated and forget who I even was." John's face was puckered in the memory and his eyes were overly moist.

"But you lived." Jess' voice was deep and compassionate gesturing at the limping leg.

"I did live, but it was because as I left consciousness I was still hearing your voice telling me what a real advocate was and I determined deep inside me to never give up. I wanted to become that advocate who would fight on in the face of death to work for people who have lost hope, most often themselves facing death like I was. You know, like you and Josie had just been through. THAT is what I got into this business to do but I'd gotten detoured by the money. It's taken months of pain and therapy, but my world has been reorganized and my priorities are now lined up the way they should be. I donate more than half of my time to people who are homeless, or in shelters, or are in hospitals, most of them facing death from their medical problems, you know, like Josie was. I make sure their families will be taken care of after they pass, or find the homeless and match them up to charities I know from the rich and wealthy snobs I used to represent. I faced death, Mr. Harper, and I now understand what you, your affidavit and your twin were going through. I felt the desperation you faced, indeed that SHE faced when Josie was dying and things weren't the way she'd dreamed them. Had I gone through that robbery without having met you and you giving me that challenge, I'm positive I would have died on that cold brick street." John looked down at his boots and then back to Jess' face with his face still puckered. "I don't know how to thank you, Jess, but you changed my life."

Chuck was looking first at the two of them talking, then to the floor and back to the men through his eyebrows slightly shaking his head, not so surprised. This was proving the Jess he'd seen in potential as a 5 year old, a much better man than the shady father. Now Chuck was fully vetting the capability within Jess to have taken after his failed father role model he'd been born to by threatening gun violence moments earlier. But, instead this Jess had controlled his anger and in pushing beyond it gained a reward of a past investment much like the pattern Chuck had learned and devoted his life. Chuck marveled. Somehow without having mentored the young Jess from age 5 under his wing, all on his own Jess was growing in his adulthood into the manner of living Chuck would have devoted his own life teaching the youngster. Jess' voice was steady as was his attention dually focused into even patiently listening to what the questionable attorney had felt was important.

"You just have, John. It takes a man to stand there and face me again to say what you've just told me. Facing death or the end of your dreams changes you…inside where you really live. I'd like you to look up Dr. Tim Bradley. He's setting up an emergency trauma hospital and rehab center just off the downtown train station to help ranchers and cowboys. He'll be finishing in the old Manor Nursing Home into that type of facility and could use a qualified advocate to watch over his legal needs for him so he can concentrate on healing people."

"I'll be more than happy to do that. I read the article the Post did on him about 2 weeks ago and can get ahold of him from that. You know him, too?"

"I know him well. He calls it medicine but he's really a specialist in hope. Give him my name as a reference and send me your bills he can't cover until he's up and running."

Fred approached with a piece of paper needing Jess' signature to close the box. Jess took it and read it then took the pen handed him. John was reading over his shoulder and as Jess signed it,

"Be sure and date it, Jess."

"Right. Thanks for your help today, John. Keep in touch." Jess handed the paper to Fred who disappeared but Jess held onto the pen.

John started to walk away and Jess held out his left hand for a shake and it was met with a solid return. "I'll do that, Jess. My best to Josie. She's still my favorite and you two are quite a pair."

Chuck stepped forward to Jess' side and nodded at King just as he turned to leave. Jess understood.

"Josie and Slim are getting married this spring."

King brightened so perceptively it was like the sun coming out from the clouds.

"They are!? Boy now that's going to be quite a pair, too. My best to them."

"You be interested in attending it? Be out of town for you." Jess offered.

"Would I!?" John hobbled back in a hurry and handed Jess a business card and Jess held his fingers up for 4 which John quickly dug out. "I um… moved to another office. More reasonable rates."

As he talked Jess handed one card to Chuck, tucked two in his pocket one for the Dr., and on the back of the 4th one wrote his address i/c of Chuck's ranch and gave it back to King.

"I'll talk to the bride, see if I can get you an invite….You know it's gotta be her idea." Jess joshed.

"I hear that, Jess. I'd really love to see her truly happy. Gosh, I love that lady….miss her like a heartbeat." John's eyes actually teared up nearly spilling over his eyelids.

John turned to go and his limp seemed to fade some. "Be safe, John." Jess sensed the man was at peace but lonely and called after him putting the pen down on the table he was standing near.

Jess turned to Chuck who was beaming and rocking back and forth on his heels.

"Dadgum! Chuck. Such a change inside him. Sometimes things go right." There was a light in Jess' eyes.

"When you never give up. I've heard from more than one source, Jess, you have a short fuse on a nasty temper. Your pa was like that and it was one of the things I wanted to get you away from when you were 5 and Mother and I lived in Texas. I didn't see that today."

Jess continued to watch King hobble away then turned to Chuck as he spoke but looking down at the floor. "Ya, I do have a short fuse, Chuck. Got me into more trouble than I needed ever since the family was wiped ….. hard thing to work with…the temper. Saw it too many times when my pa would dive into my mother, one thing I despised the most about him. Seein' her hurt, me not big enough to be able to do anything, help her or stop him. Last few years been watching how Slim seems to be able to ….he gets angry and fumes but he somehow, other than a saloon fight mostly defending his self, he handles his anger another way. Been new to me, a lot of what Slim is, but he gets better results than me and doesn't cost so hard. So I've been working on myself. But don't tell anyone ok? For some reason ain't got there yet." Jess looked up quickly at Chuck's face with a tiny smile then back down.

"Been my experience Jess, hurt causes anger and anger that lays untended stokes a nasty fire of bitterness. Really no fault of your own, Son, but your growing up time's been packed full of hurt just trying to survive life. Person carries a load of anger in a life like that and anger is the fuel of a temper. Most sparks are unintentional, but on a load of anger….all it takes is just one to burn down a barn… and all the consequences that go with it." Chuck offered in a fatherly manner trying to look under and gain Jess' eye contact. Jess looked up in Chuck's face and his eyebrows furrowed and for several eternal seconds mistiness surfaced in Jess' eyes and his chin was tucked up. With the recent barn fire experience fresh in both their memories Chuck could see the enlightenment of wisdom attaching to the stock pile of shredded scars and wounds deep inside Jess leaving Jess speechless. He knew the thoughts needed stewing on so Chuck softly pushed forward. With a smile enforcing an echo heard recently he nudged Jess' elbow as a push button to commence walking out of the bank. "You gunna protect me, Jess? I'm not carrying."

"Got my affidavit right here. Better go get the ladies before they buy out Denver." Jess' voice was soft and thought filled but speaking on autopilot his face was still frowned up chewing on the new thought. As the door of the bank closed behind them Chuck added softly,

"Ya know, Jess, with this much capitol you should really consider drawing up a Will, plus the ranch you just bought you technically have a full estate. No will, if you pass, your estate goes up for grabs and good intentions won't hold water in a court. Should have had it done before your surgery tomorrow. My attorney could help you there."

Jess kept walking but looked back at Chuck with a stunned look. "Doggone, Chuck, never even thought about that….never had more than poker change in my hand at one time before. Oil well is producing now, too. Ya, need to do that. Everything I own needs to go to Slim and Josie 'cause they're family, something happens to me, behind them would be you and Maggie. Can we wire him to make that happen?"

Chuck pointed across the street from where they were. It was the telegraph office. After doing the wire where the attorney was asked to have the paperwork ready for signature on a simple Will the next morning on the way to the surgery. They'd do a more detailed one after the surgery. They found Josie and Maggie in the designated coffee shop sitting in a corner next to another bay window jammed packed with rope handled shopping bags and Jess grinned seeing Maggie once again surrounded by her "flower garden of shopping bags". In fact, they identified them by the opacity of the window's view. Maggie was exuberant telling Jess that Josie was so much like their mother it was like having Sarah Harper back in her life all over again only without the heartache of her desperate life. Josie not only looked like her but had the same feistiness, mannerisms and everything but the Texas accent and the horrible scars of a rough life. Josie was flying high learning about her birth mother and her life, sad as it was, still seemed to give her grounding she'd never gotten from the adoptive parents. She even thought it was cute the couple times Maggie had called her Sarah by mistake. Jess suggested that Maggie show Josie the locket when they got home and then give it to Josie when Maggie was done with it.

In anticipation of successful shopping and needed soft comfort for Jess' surgery Chuck had geared up his largest carriage which was a low sitting two horse unit with separate driver's section and a roof that covered a face to face four seat passenger compartment. It was bigger than a stagecoach and had been a prize for one of the Poker Championships he'd won. The roof and back end could be, and ended up loaded with shopping baggage as well as two of the covered seat benches were packed full. Chuck and Jess rode up front in the driver compartment. The thing drove like a limousine on shocks and he kept it stored deep in the back of the barn. It was painted a light sand with gold trimmings with a glossy finish and would have been inappropriate for the funeral. Chuck discussed his wish the buggy was another color but didn't want to ruin the fancy finish and Jess suggested a wood trim to settle it down some. The buggy was loaded with a dream wedding gown and a trousseau, party supplies and the ladies tucked in the backseat with their treasures gabbed all the way to the ranch. Chuck drove and Jess rode shotgun with the satchel containing the estate money and all the signed papers from both deals under their bums in another hidden compartment bench which was the back support for two of the passengers. Jr had built that one, too. Jess was grinning that his twin was riding so close up next to her dream home's ownership papers sitting under the front seat bench and was completely unaware how close she was to her future dream.

Once home the ladies fixed supper while Jess and Chuck parted out the money for the property. They stashed the rest of the estate money in the back of Chuck's safe he kept in a wine cellar under the house with a real secret access through a moving bookshelf and down a staircase. Truthfully, it was a hidden passage through a moving bookcase. Chuck told Jess where to find the combination for the safe should something ever happen to him or Maggie and he needed to get into it. Jess told Chuck to use any of the money needed in fixing up Elroy's property and just leave him some kind of note or receipt.

CHAPTER 14: Get it done Right

Chuck's attorney sent the simple Will to Chuck's ranch via a runner early the next morning having Jess sign and Chuck witness it and upon return the attorney would file it. As Jess wanted or needed to itemize his holdings they would supersede the Will later. Jess was more than grateful and humbled that Chuck would offer him counsel and do so in such a gentle fatherly manner. When Jess tried to thank him Chuck just rubbed Jess' back lightly as they were walking to the buggy to leave and passed it off as simply helping Jess move forward with his life. That had never happened with his birth dad and Jess was nearly speechless. Then began worrying whether or not Slim had ever drawn a will considering he owned property.

Fussing over being robbed of even coffee before the surgery they still got a grumpy Jess to the medical center on time the next morning. He gave King's business card to Dr. Tim and they hauled Jess off to the rooms unknown. Once Jess disappeared, Josie's entire countenance completely changed and she began pacing and wringing her hands, fighting tears. Chuck was at a loss what to do, but Maggie went right to work calming the young twin and reassuring her Jess was a tough cowboy who'd survived a buckboard crash over an embankment, he could handle a 2 inch incision. True enough, Dr. Tim came out to the waiting room 45 minutes later completely relaxed not even sweating and smiling reported Jess came through with no problems or issues. The surgery went as outlined to be a mere incision about 2" long at the top of the bone where they inserted a metal tool shaped somewhat like a spoon and once they then released the pressure on the shoulder it had lifted the concave broken area the shoulder blade had immediately popped back into normal alignment. The Dr. checked his upper ribs and sounded the lung and then they stitched the incision closed and tied his arm down again. Dr. Tim likened it to a dislocated joint that wouldn't reset with the pressure holding it out of place and that when the pressure released, the bones could re-seat. He reported the ribs had only cracked and had already set back fine and were sealing themselves closed due to the immobilization, so he had nothing left to do for those and the lung tested fine. Jess came awake from the anesthesia ready to charge off the table upset because they hadn't gotten it done yet but they caught him before he went overboard light headed onto the floor discovering he'd already been finished. Then he looked like he was going to heave but as soon as he just burped air was fine. In doing so Jess discovered he couldn't feel or move the upper right side of his body and was not feeling pain anywhere due to the medications so he laid back down and dropped off into a snooze like any other normal human. Dr. Tim did confirm they needed to do the surgery as the dent had not been fusing itself because of the tension or torque prevented the edges from mating up and would have kept rubbing on each other because the pieces were floating free and the torque held them on top of each other. As concave as it was it would have taken a massive pull on Jess' shoulder to have released the pressure of that much curvature. Massive, like another impact from the inside or a dislocation of the shoulder joint et al. strong enough it would have torn ligaments to match the weight of the falling piece of timber that had caused the initial injury. Under anesthesia and an added injection and two days of a muscle relaxant, the muscles were relaxed enough they could manipulate the shoulder enough to release the torque. Over the next 24 – 36 hours Mrs. Dr. Tim created a removable brace fitting over his entire shoulder area that limited the shoulder movement to support the healing. The brace was ridged and held the shoulder, bicep motionless pinning the elbow to his side ribs yet it freed the arm from the elbow down to give him some maneuverability with the hand and wrist. Further, it was strapped on and off so he could adjust the tension, lift the weight of gravity and take the binding off and on by himself. The Wentworths and a certain twin were deeply impressed.

Once Dr. Tim had identified Josie as the twin, he was fascinated watching her and then had no resistance when she pleaded with him to go be with Jess as he woke up. He took them back to the room and they sat around watching Jess snooze for the next several hours dropping in and out of focus and mumbling nonsense they finally figured out was crap out of his birth home decades ago. They were advised that Jess' shoulder would be more painful for the next week or so under the realignment having re-disturbed the soft tissue, but that it should heal stronger in the long run. He was not released from the medical center until late the next day with his new brace, his shoulder and arm wrapped down to his body and under orders to not to be sent back to Laramie or any long buggy rides for at least a week. The doctor didn't want the shoulder being jostled and jolted and no one was really fighting the opportunity to stay several more days at the DKBS ranch which was a shorter drive away. Chuck again drove his huge, fancy carriage but at a walk with Maggie and Josie coddling Jess in the back seats covered up in blankets, which of course Jess ate up because he was still woozy from all the medications. Then he hibernated in that one special bed in that one special bedroom and Josie took up residence in Slim's adjoining guest bedroom. She was in hog heaven camped out in an adjoining room with her twin and doing double nurse duty with both Maggie and Sasha. Sasha? She was in doggie heaven back to her nursing duties snuggled into Jess' back, or his tummy, or his hair… it didn't matter to her as long as he was there.

Jess slept the better parts of the first 4 days from the surgery simply from the relief of pressure in his shoulder and it did hurt like….. well, worse than the original. He reported that whole section of his body felt like he'd been rolled repeatedly under a horse fall, or trampled by a stampede in sore, stiff and some pain. But he also described it as being a bow string that had been unhooked or like taking off a dress uniform and hanging out in an undershirt….but either way, it was a relief. He could take in a deeper breath without pain again and he could take sore a whole lot better than not breathing.

Josie offered to sleep on top his sheets in substitution for Sarabeth, but Jess wouldn't even consider having his sister on the same bed with him…no offense, it just wasn't proper…and it was another fascinating conversation to say the least, but was somewhat more amusing. Their argument hinged around something about unintroduced babies in a womb with no concept of sexual differences curling around each other which was Josie's side of the argument. In Jess' opinion that is much different than two adults emotionally tied together and long lost, one being in immense pain and the other one needing to nurture. Jess was near having the heebie-jeebies with the concept of Josie snuggled into his body trying to nurse his aches because she seemed to have no brakes when it came to her eagerness to layer attention to him, or mostly her lack of inhibitions touching his body. He also seemed to becoming her source of truth for 'all things sex' which she was still sorting through from her miss-guided education from society ladies. Deep and tight hugs and tender kisses standing up in public was morally acceptable and was the fence Jess drew the line at realizing Josie was, by her own admission, a healthy woman and had been tapped at least briefly by motherhood hormones and notions, now deeply in hunger for her wedding privileges with Slim. Josie began to become hurt near rejection but Jess drew her in for a (standing) hug and admitted to her also that prior to the discovery of her being his twin he'd found her to be such an enticing woman he'd tried to convince Slim to go retrieve her from the Utah trip. So it wasn't that she was not desirable, even if fact, may be too beautiful and more than anything, by being twins they were extremely vulnerable to each other that made him draw up the fence line. Josie had sniffed some tears in acceptance of his explanations and rules unable to deny the truth of their vulnerability toward each other and his wisdom, although she was certain she could control herself because of that betrothal to Slim.

Maggie was more than amused in a motherly way watching them banter back and forth in equal Harper-DNA stubbornness communicating intensely emotionally charged concepts. She was even more fascinated seeing more evidence how even though Josie looked identical to their mother the same age when she had died and left Jess, and her constant dependence on him emotionally, he never seemed to have difficulty seeing Josie as his younger twin needing his protection and guidance and not yield to her as he would have his mother. She further saw Josie well behind Jess in emotional development for her age and extremely tender. She mentioned it to Jess briefly in a private discussion and he had seen that, too. He responded affirmatively and believed it came from Josie being raised a single child in a wealthy environment given everything she even wished for and being told how to live and respond to everything in her life, including being married off. She had never really experienced any personal freedom. Maggie agreed. She really wanted to bring up her insight about how their mother had such a strong attachment to Jess as a youngster that she'd seen when Josie had arrived, but thought it wasn't the right time for Jess to go into that deep a topic.

Maggie diplomatically intervened in an experienced, very motherly way by convincing Jess to try one hot salt bath for deep relaxation in lieu of a snuggled human. She offered the same set up as she'd put Slim through where he had to inch his body into the tub with very hot water up to the incision with a towel over the top of the shoulder to trap the heat. He wanted the hot shower but Maggie prevailed with the explanation of sitting in a tub relieving the weight on his legs vs standing in a shower and by sitting receive a more full bodied relaxation and the soaking would help the deep cramping near his skeleton fatiguing his legs. So after challenging him to match Slim's bravery in a hot soak and to get away from Josie's offer, he finally relented with Sasha dutifully standing guard, um laying down guard on the floor near the tub. Maggie compensated Josie by having her help prepare the tub and salts but Jess made Josie promise to stay out of the bathroom once it was ready. Once he got his self inched completely into the steeping hot water Jess enjoyed the deep heat he'd never felt before all the way through his body, including relaxing of deep muscle cramps he hadn't realized were at bone level. He slept so solidly that night they had difficulty waking him up, too, the next morning. Trying to awaken him that next morning and a full 12 hours later they had to pull him up and hold him to a sit on the side of the bed with coffee under his nose and it took a good fifteen minutes before his head could hold its own weight and his eyes finally focused. Maggie marked it partially up to the residue of anesthesia still in his pores that the hot water had released. While sandwiched between the two lovelies again holding him up it was Josie who came up with the insight that from watching how far Jess finally relaxed, how he must have never experienced a state of pure peace in his soul for his body to get that far or deep in tranquility. She was shocked when Maggie reported Jess having lived in such a state of childhood disrepair he'd divulged never knowing his birthdate until he found out he was a twin. Josie teared up and hugged him tighter as they sat on the bed holding him up waiting for his consciousness to stabilize. They had needed to wake him for a bladder relief and Maggie wanted to get more food in his system to support his blood sugar and then they put him back to bed. With emptied tanks and a full tummy, it was not any difficulty and his only other "approved bed partner" nurse Sasha promptly took over.

They got him up for breakfasts and lunches and each night he barely managed to make supper at the table and a brief drink afterwards around the fireplace before heading back to bed. But it was deeply embarrassing to him, especially after finally regaining focus the morning after the hot salt bath. He was flabbergasted at being that far gone in sleep finding they'd had to spend 15 minutes waking him up. He didn't realize sleep could even be that deep or refreshing because he'd never in his life experienced anything like it. Maggie affirmed that what he was experiencing was completely normal to a body that had been injured and that in the sleep time the body was free to work on mending itself and not be divided with everything else he would be busy doing. She explained the surgery basically re-broke the shoulder all over again and his system was finally being given what it needed to repair itself and he didn't need to worry about getting whatever he needed. The explanation gave him some information which calmed him tremendously as ringing truthful. True to form, each day out from the shoulder surgery Jess made obvious progress each day, but it took 3 nurses (1 with 4 legs and a tail), pulling everything else off his calendar and isolating him added to a steady supply of as much food as he could eat to accomplish that. By the 6th day from surgery Jess managed to stay awake during the day camped out on the sofa with a fire going in the fireplace watching it snow again. After lunch before he left the table Maggie brought him a pen and some paper at his request and he was finally able to write a letter to Sarabeth. Josie thought that was a good idea and both her and Maggie also wrote her their own letters making a 'care package' out of the effort. After that, back on the sofa in front of the fireplace he also got a modeling preview of wedding gowns and dresses. Josie was picking his brain about whether Slim would like what she had purchased plus history about "all things Slim" that Jess could tell her.

True to her word, whilst Jess was busy sleeping and healing Maggie kept Josie inundated with wedding planning, dress alterations and several more shopping trips to Denver completely filling Slim's guest room with wedding things. Jess was clueless why they had to buy so many things but also admitted he knew nothing about women-attire or weddings so he portioned out some of the estate money they'd brought "home" trying to teach Josie to budget her desires. They did pretty well on Jess' budget and whatever ran over it Maggie eagerly paid for 'on behalf of their mother' out of her own funds and they just didn't tell Jess who was too busy sleeping. They even planned a way to involve Daisy in the planning and execution of the wedding and reception and helping her with the Laramie reception and began setting up local reservations for Laramie attendees such as Sheriff Mort Cory. Maggie was in her element planning events, especially anything dealing with entertaining guests. Josie's adopted mother had ramrodded her first wedding so Josie seemed riveted to learning from Maggie and unless you knew the truth, the two of them hit it off so well it was as if they'd known each other all Josie's life. Both ladies on separate occasions, privately overflowed their joy on Jess with hugs telling him how much they were enjoying each other and the opportunity to get to know each other.

Their only disappointment in the wedding planning was from a wire that came from Slim reporting that Andy couldn't make it home for the wedding. He had already planned and paid for a school sponsored 2 week field trip to Norfolk, VA and West Point Military Academy with that weekend of the wedding right smack in the middle and they wouldn't refund his money. It was an expensive trip he'd worked extra hours to pay for and was worth 1/2 of a semester credit. Since he was trying to work ahead for graduating so he could get back to the ranch, he was pis….. p.o'd…. well, more than upset. Slim made him swear to not enlist at West Point and Andy agreed….he just wanted to see the history of the east coast since history had become his favorite topic of study.

CHAPTER 12: Never Give Up.

On one warmer day after the surgery when Jess could stay awake and the ladies were gone to Denver on another "last minute needs" shopping excursion, in between shorter naps Chuck snuck Jess in his brace into the buggy and over to Elroy's ranch and gave him the full tour of the property he'd just purchased, the house and lastly the barn. The new barn was framed in with logs and they had the walls built half way to the roof, the stalls framed in and everything smelled strongly of new timber and sawdust. Since it was a sunny winter day, after the tour of the log house, just before checking the barn progress they stopped on the back porch and sat down on the porch swing in the sunshine for a break.

"Are you happy with your investment?" Chuck opened the conversation.

"Couldn't be more, Chuck. You both built amazing homes."

"Sorry you didn't keep this one for yourself?"

Jess frowned. "I could be very happy here, quite happy. More than I could have hoped for. But Josie's right. This ranch has Slim and her written all over it. No one deserves it more than Slim."

"But what about you?"

"Never had anything growing up, Chuck. Wore clothes my brothers out grew, dad never worked a real job, so food was scarce. Clueless how my mother even survived. Things never really grabbed hold, I guess. My mother always said it's what you are inside that makes you happy and content. I have plenty to keep me busy. Slim doesn't need things either, but they mean more to him growing up in a whole family on their own land. He needs the next step, married starting a family, putting his skills to better use. I've seen how his mind works, his integrity, natural leadership and more management ability than the stage business could ever properly use or pay in salary. He's got so much more potential inside him and it's just going to waste up there. Never met his pa but from what I've seen and things he's told me of his history a simple cattle business in Laramie was his pa's dream. He's just got so much daggum loyalty he's still working on those past dreams of a man he admired, but who's dead and will never appreciate what Slim accomplishes. He needs to start working on his own dreams, use all of his potential and this ranch will bring him up to date to his own abilities. My opportunity will come later and I'll be ready for it. You have any questions over the barn suggestions?"

"None whatever. Your notes were quite detailed, easy to follow and I appreciate you putting in the details without all the words women folk get lost in. And that drawing was priceless. I thought they were right on target, especially orientating it better weather wise. Surprised Elroy never saw them, but then he was a home body, just lived in the two places. His birth home in Texas which wasn't much and then here he built it piece by piece as the money began to grow so he wasn't exposed to outside creativity, or thoughts on long term flow of production. And he didn't have a son like I have in Jr who can do all the mechanical stuff. Jr and I are going to modify some of our barns to do the same."

"How long until it's finished?"

"We'll be done in time for the wedding, likely mid-May even earlier if the weather warms. He's got good, hard workers here. Not happy unless they're busy. It will be fully stocked, too, feed, tack. The ammunition is being restocked in an underground cellar we built down next to their bunk house. Considering our near remoteness and in light of the fire, we're even adding a water wagon to each ranch. Maggie's kin is shipping two new industrial pumps with tanks out here that will run the water both off the wagons and in-load it onto them out of a trough or lake. My buddy's gunna build custom wagons once the pumps arrive, got the wood all bought and set aside. Maggie's kinfolk," he chuckled, "….they're right up there with the latest and greatest inventions and they send stuff out here all the time. Took Jr some time to figure out that hot water system, but he got it up and running and loved every minute setting it up. She gets tons of spices we never heard of, cookbooks, dress catalogs, her tatting supplies, news on all the latest inventions, and of course you know women stuff. Her family came into money back in France before coming over. Have to keep up with the blue bloods and all. She goes back every five years or so for visits, they're constantly writing back and forth. She's the baby, got a older brother and sister back there, all exactly two years apart…both folks are passed just within the last 5 years. Sarabeth is staying with her sister's family and Jerry was at her brothers before he married. Ready to go look?"

"Ya. It's nice she's got a strong family…separated as they are." Jess pulled himself out of the swing with some effort.

They got back in the buggy and drove the short distance to the barn where the wranglers doing the construction all seemed happy for a break. They quickly surrounded the buggy which made Jess feel good seeing Chuck with as equal and comfortable relationship with Elroy's hands as he had with his own. Bolero was in a pole circle arena just across the drive and with his constant pacing he'd worn a substantial groove in the inside perimeter. As Bolero pranced up to the fence curious to the visitors it was the first time Jess had gotten to see the stud clearly in full daylight and being fascinated by a new human arrival Bolero was alert and a bit of a show off. The hands however captured and warmly helped Jess off the buggy carefully monitoring his braced shoulder. Several of them thanked him for his help during the fire. Then they began giving him and Chuck a tour of the current progress both inside and out of the barn and everything was being built right to the details of Jess' suggested outline. Bolero kept whinnying from his post and that did not go without Jess' notice or that the stud's attitude was belligerent in his antsy ness. Jess was impressed with the workmanship and every time he stopped to look at something closer, he had no improvement to offer. They had a building contractor log specialist overseeing the build but he was off site getting the next load of logs delivered.

"How's it look?" Asked Joe the foreman and unofficial tour guide.

"Great, Joe. Your men do quality work."

"Chuck said you had some input to the new design." It was or could have been leading into questions or a trick to seek anybody who'd give up a hint who the new owners were, but Jess caught it and covered for Chuck.

"Ya, well…I didn't get a chance to look around during the fire so this is really my first look. Most of it came from Slim and Josie from when they got your tour. Slim's got a good head for management, efficiency and always looking for ways to improve his ranch. We were talking about the expansion improvements we're doing to his ranch in Laramie and he bounced some ideas off me for our improvements we're doing there based on what they learned from the fire here. I mentioned some of those ideas to Chuck as some things he might want to do when rebuilding here."

"Fresh set of eyes is always a plus, Joe. Jr's putting a lot of those ideas into our barns over there, too. Great ideas. Was glad to get them." Chuck added.

"Ya, the men and I have been noticing some of the changes. Really like them…will make a huge difference in the work flow. Men were always running into each other before, tack was everywhere and always in the way, feeding was a mess, too." Joe acknowledged. "So Slim's behind all these improvements. We all kinda took to him from the get go…men are still talking about him. Be a great man to work for I bet?"

Jess and Chuck looked at each other in compassion to a really smart foreman who was diplomatically fishing on behalf of his men. And they noticed the hands weren't filtering too far away from ear shot listening.

"Ya, no better. Solid, honest and fair. You're straight with him and he's got your back no matter what. He's had mine more times than I want to admit. Can't ask for more."

Joe dropped his used cigarette and smashed it solidly into the dirt with his boot. "Guys were hoping there'd be a chance he'd become interested with this property coming open but Chuck says another buyer beat him to the offer. Says it's basically done but Chuck's not releasing it until he's got it back up to standards Elroy had it in, knows the new owner and we'll all be quite happy. Chuck doesn't give up names and I'm not asking that, but do you know the new owner?"

Jess went back to his poker face but the foreman was slick. If Chuck doesn't give up names, then how would Jess know either? Yet coming from a hired hand's experience dealing with unknown bosses and owners, he added some compassion to his voice offered some assurance.

"Well, I was there when Chuck was approached by a buyer, so if that's the same guy he made the deal with then I do know the man AND his family quite well and you guys have absolutely nothing to worry about." Jess added his signature charming smile and patted Joe on the back lightly.

Bolero whinnied very loudly, almost a scream and Jess looked that direction but the barn was in the way blocking the view.

"Daggone stud, won't settle down from the fire." Joe said noticing Jess' attention.

"Why's that?" Jess asked.

Bolero screamed again.

"Don't rightly know, Jess. Generally he's a pretty calm stud, but since the fire he's just….antsy, been a tad bit off his feed and charging everyone who gets close."

"So is he missing Elroy and Kenzie?" Jess asked.

"Not likely. Elroy's focus was cattle so never spent much time with him and Kenzie'd been off to school for 3 years. He was fine then while she was gone. Even Slim and Josie walked up to him and he danced around them and snapped at them, you know that stud nip, ears back. He's started charging people, not happy alone but doesn't want anybody near him. Never seen anything like it before. No mares in season yet either, so that's not it."

"He's broke ain't he?"

"Oh ya, well broke. Kenzie handled him from birth and broke him to saddle. Was riding him bareback by time he was one. Bareback and a halter." Joe advised. But then Bolero screamed yet again getting louder each time even becoming screechy.

Jess couldn't handle hearing these pieces of news and the stallion's screams were worse and he began fidgeting and his eyebrows began climbing.

"Why don't you go take a look, Jess. Slim says you have a way with horses." Chuck offered sensing there was something calling to Jess and his heart began to race in excited anticipation of actually finally seeing Jess in action with a horse. "Fresh set of eyes might see something we're missing on the horse, too."

"Had to move him to the pole corral 'cause he's even started charging the fence like he's going to jump it, pawing the bottom rails on wood fences. I'll go get a lead and halter." Joe offered and took off at a trot for some unknown tack room, likely borrowing from the mare barn.

Jess didn't wait and began walking through the barn toward the corral with Chuck beside him. The hands watched someone heading for the noisy stud who'd been chewing up the dirt in the arena with his pacing and they stopped working and stood back to watch. Chuck gradually slowed down out of Jess' side eager to see Jess in actual contact with a horse. As Jess approached the corral Bolero was now running up and down the near side where he'd seen the visitors arrive and he was yelling his silly head off. Jess saw a barrel of oats in the path before crossing the lane and he put his hands in the barrel like he was washing his hands, but he pulled his hands out without taking any oats and put his hat and pulled the brace off putting both on top the oats then stood watching the stud raising a ruckus. Joe came running up with a halter and lead and stuck them in Jess' hands which startled Jess, but he took them. That move drew Bolero's attention and he saw Jess and stopped yelling his stallion scream, but he began circling inside the corral at a strong prance.

For several eternal minutes Jess just studied the 5 year old stud. He was watching his gait for signs of injury he found nothing but free movement and grace, an exquisite athlete of poetry in motion. Bolero was a true black with just a snip of white off center between his nostrils that gave him a silly look like he was screwing his nose up at some aroma. His build looked that he was from a selected line of Thoroughbred, Friesian and Quarter Horse, about the size of Alamo a good 15 hands 1500 pounds of pure muscle just heavier structured in bone and had a full, thick mane and tail, when it wasn't patchy in re-growth from fire haircuts. He had a broad head with well-spaced eyes that were soft and sweet despite looking mean due to his harsh black coloring. In the winter sun his coat was fine haired tattling of his lineage, very shiny and his muscles just rippled like a dancer whenever he moved. The Friesian and Quarter Horse broadened out the Thoroughbred thinness making his withers and back broader but more comfortable to straddle without losing the fleet speed and agility of the Thoroughbred. He had just enough Friesian in him that lifted him into gaits by DNA more than by training. And he was all stud in confidence and knowing what he wanted.

Jess checked the nearby tree tops for wind direction and positioned himself upwind so the stud could smell him approach and began walking slowly toward the corral. By instinct being wary of the stud's freedom to rear and the menacing hooves added to his recent mauling by those hooves, Jess disciplined that fear deep inside. This horse wasn't afraid of defending himself, but the human is supposed to be the wiser and today there was no fire to hurry from. Jess walked to the corral fence, dropped the halter and rope to the ground and put his hands through the middle pole leaning on his elbows and one foot up on the bottom pole still studying the stud and giving Bolero time to look him over as well. Bolero was on the opposite side of the arena and had stopped, stuck his nose in the air catching the whiff of Jess' scent and snorted moisture into his nostrils for added accuracy and then tossed his head. Despite the reports of charging people and fences Jess could not see anger in that tossed head, but it was familiar as though the stallion had identified him and his brain had nodded identification and acceptance but was impatient. He knew Bolero would tell him, he just needed to listen.

In the deep, soft baritone tone Jess cooed to the upset stud. "Whoa…. veger….easy…son." It was barely loud enough the hands looked at each other with question marks on their faces to see if the other guy heard something. Bolero's ears twitched quickly back and forth one time, he snorted again and took another running pass but cutting the circle arena in half took a short circle and returned to his space at the far end and faced Jess snapping his tail. Jess neither flinched nor backed up. It was an impatient snap, not one of anger all the hands were miss-reading. Jess could easily see this stud was intelligent and could learn things quickly, even be annoyed if things weren't fast enough.

Slowly and without fear, Jess eased through the middle poles of the corral and stood inside the arena and began to read the stallion's answer as he furthered their tête-à-tête. At first Bolero flattened then raised his ears but Jess just stood at ease watching him and leaned his back against the pole fence. Then Bolero stomped a front hoof but that was all. Bolero was simply telling Jess that this was his playpen, it was a stallion-thing as a statement not a threat. This big boy was an alpha male who, by nature, should be commanding several sections of wild, open country with a very substantial mare herd at his control. But he was penned from freedom and command and he had been crowded into a very small dimension of a safety net, further for some reason had lost his sleeping nest stall that had been his since he was birthed. He was more annoyed and confused rather than angry. The way Bolero had come to stand, his head was downwind of Jess and if you were at his rear you would have been upwind, it was a light breeze at best. The sun was overhead but would eventually drop to the rear of the stud and the winter sun always had a harsh, low angle. Slowly Jess began walking along the inner edge of the circle arena in the direction that would take him to the side of the head of the stud, as far upwind as Jess could get and not hidden in the glare of the low sunlight. Bolero stood anchored as though bolted to the ground and his eyes never left Jess' body. Jess was not coming straight at Bolero but toward him and his eye contact was not aggressive so Bolero simply watched intrigued. This human was not scared out of his wits at the fire breathing monster that appeared out of nowhere unannounced and was simply asking to join him in his tiny playpen. Bolero desperately wanted company he'd been robbed of….but there could be no tolerance to threaten his life again! His world and safety nest was already a turned over mess and his missing stall, his den of safety and his mistress who'd (nearly) birthed him, all things familiar and comforting had disappeared from his security. For the first time in this 5 year old stud's life HE was isolated and alone and his known world had disappeared into hell further than he could sort out. It was as though being pushed and backed into a small corner to live in a tiny world of forced uncertainty but with constant chaos of activity around the playpen arena with scary unidentified sounds of sawing and hammering.

Just loud enough the hands could hear him, Jess spoke, "nobody smokes or lights a match." It wasn't an order, it was a calm statement and several hands dropped their cigarettes and stomped them out in the dirt. Jess knew this poor stud had been frightened, no terrorized, to an inch of his life by a raging fire and by screaming people full of fear throwing ropes and halters at him. Jess slowly maintained his soft walk toward the stud still cooing to him and half way to him Jess stopped and appearing slouched his weight on his left leg, held out his right hand low. "Come, Bolero." Was again so soft and deep toned the hands were still unsure of any sound. They were also all leaning forward in their boots mesmerized by a stud, finally standing still and quiet and by a smallish figure standing at ease not 3-4 feet in front of this stallion who'd begun charging humans that close. Slowly but with deliberation Bolero took a small step forward dragging that hoof in the dust. "Good boy, Bo. Come." Was another coo, or something sounding close to it. Bolero took a second half step and stopped but his front hooves were lined up toe to toe and touching as though he'd been trained to a show stance. In the sunlight you could barely see a slight quiver on the stud's shoulder only because of the shine on his black coat. Bolero's eyes became fascinated as seeing a human who was quiet and inviting him like his missy had. The slight quiver told Jess the stud had received his invitation and was responding in a pleasant surprise. The stud was smart instantly reading this human was not crowding Bolero, not chasing him, no fear or worry, not throwing ropes at him or screaming…..this was like all the former times of happy with his lady biped who had disappeared from his world leaving him unanchored to the world of the feeders and riders. Nobody but Jess seemed to be breathing. Having come ¼ of the way around the circle and half way to the stud, Jess turned slowly watching the stud over his shoulder and took a step back away from the stallion who brought his head up several inches in concern. Jess took another step away and the stallion quickly stepped forward with a quizzical look of … 'no, no? where are you going quiet biped?' Still watching over his shoulder seeing Bolero follow, Jess took another step. Bolero stepped faster and Jess took another step. Jess was asking Bolero to unleash himself from being rooted in fear to the ground and inviting him to follow to safety by trust and desire…not forcing the stud to move where he was afraid. By the time Jess had reached his start point Bolero was a neck length from Jess' shoulder and his tail was quiet. Jess stopped completely and slowly turned to face the stallion and waited for Bolero to initiate the next move, not pushing the stud and not backing away. He wanted the stud to discover he'd followed a human with peace and lived. With one slight sweep of his tail, Bolero offered his muzzle and Jess slowly raised his hand just off the whiskers and let Bolero sniff the oat friendly aroma. The stud snorted through the back of his mouth lightly seemingly approving the familiar aroma of a happy scent and then brought his muzzle up to Jess' chest and then up to his head sniffing Jess' temple still finding no fear or challenge, no one grabbing on him. When he lowered his muzzle and released his jaw, Jess moved his hand slowly and lightly but firmly touched the near shoulder of the stallion with the back of his fingers and it quivered slightly. Receiving no sense of aggression from the human he stood still seeking more answers from this quiet man. Still nobody but Jess seemed to breathe and Chuck was fighting tears. The hands looked silently at each other and smiled then quickly back to the arena.

In reward for Bolero's exhibited trust Jess slowly worked his hand up the neck taking his time and lightly scratching itchy twitchy places and finally reaching the ears, but Bolero jerked his head up slightly just out of Jess' reach and Jess froze in place allowing the stud to decide. This was the area of the stallion's mane where the fire had dropped a piece of burning debris catching his mane on fire and the hair patch about 6 inches of mane that had been burnt was beginning to grow back in. Bolero's jaw released again because this touch contained no breathing pain and he lowered his head and Jess began to softly rub all around the ears, then slowly back on the poll where the fire had caught the stud's mane and Bolero lightly shook his head but held his ground. Instead of searing pain, the scratching felt good on the new growing hair and the loosening scabs nagging the stud where he couldn't reach himself. Jess knew life had come apart for a somewhat spoiled and definitely pampered stud at the point in the fire where he'd gotten the halter on but the fire had fallen on Bolero's mane catching his hair on fire. At that moment and for the first time in his life this stud had felt pain. Not normal pain. The worst kind of pain, the searing pain of burning. And that close to the stud's ears he would have heard the same monster hissing sound of fire that had so terrorized Sasha from a block away. That's where Bolero had lifted him off his feet and began pawing his thighs and he knew that as close as they were to each other, Bolero would have latched onto his scent. This was the exact place where Jess knew he had to re-enter Bolero's connection with humans and ask this powerful athlete to once again trust the bi-ped's world. Bolero brought his muzzle to Jess' ear and snorted through his teeth lightly and Jess knew the stallion was reading him but not finding fear and panic everyone else had been exhibiting since the fire. Bolero then gave Jess a small stud nip near his ear, testing to see if he could herd Jess. Jess slowly reached up with his other hand and gently caught the other side of the muzzle and held it against the side of his head squashing anymore thoughts that direction of becoming herded by the stud's control. But he did so slowly and gently not in rebuke, just as a 'no thank you, we are equals.' It was also a soft enough nibble to be the 'thank you or an acceptance of reconnection' Jess was looking for, as equals, and he cooed again. Jess' coo was not necessary words, but a deep tonal vibration just before the nicker that mares communicate with their foals. In his childhood Jess had spent hours studying horses communicate with themselves and had learned the deep tone he could produce, much like a growl close to the word "whoa" but soft and soothing, was close to the sound mares use just before they nicker to their foal and is soothing and encouraging. The words didn't matter too much, it was the vibration and deep tone. And it worked. Bolero brought his head down into Jess' chest and pushed his forehead into Jess lightly and Bolero's jaw released again and that's what Jess wanted…Bolero had given his stiff, scared neck into Jess' body as Bolero would have welcomed another trusted horse into Bolero's world. Jess held Bolero's muzzle in his huge hands feeling the soft muzzle skin and tucked his oat flavored hands in the corner of Bolero's mouth. The stud quickly opened his mouth just enough the tongue caught the flavor off of Jess' hands and his tail swished softly receiving the reward of a favored flavor.

After a few more moments Jess turned slowly and began to walk away from Bolero following the arena fence and Bolero instantly stomped a front hoof softly and quickly caught up putting his forehead into Jess' back and began following him like a puppy dog. This biped at his nose had the same quiet peace his missy had and he'd been desperate to find after the fire. Watching over his shoulder Jess quickened his pace bringing Bolero to a soft trot behind him and after making a full circle Jess began to slowly dance around him and cutting into half circles and Bolero's tail arched instantly recognizing this known game of tag his missy had done when he was a baby horse and was still following her closely. After two circles Jess brought him to a stop and began earnestly scratching itchy places in reinforcing reward, back up to the poll then down the neck to the withers where Bolero's muzzle lifted and his upper lip began twitching in pleasured delight, this time without all the fidgeting or hesitations. Jess worked his way in between the front legs, then just in front of the navel behind where the cinch strap lays. Bolero was in heaven, this new human knew all the right spots and a good strength, he brought his muzzle to Jess' bum from behind Jess and began scratching what ended up being on top Jess' waist belt at his spine in return favor. He'd found a human who spoke horse. Jess slowly walked all the way around Bolero touching and rubbing nerve spots along his spine, low on his hind leg testing the stud for trust worthiness. Bolero thought Jess was looking for more itchy spots and followed him because it had been ages since his missy had brushed him to a high gloss shine. Jess eventually worked his way up the off side and Bolero turned and followed Jess that way as Jess was testing for bendability and give on both sides, finding a puppy following instead. They came to stop in the middle of the arena. Jess slowly bent over and with a soft hand asked Bolero for his front hoof. Aware he was still in full freedom yet being asked of his primal fear of hooves becoming trapped, the stud still released it where Jess checked the bottom of his hoof and the shoe finding a soft sand packed hoof easily cleaned with a thumb and the shoe was fit and tight. Bolero sniffed Jess' hair and Jess slowly made the circuit asking for each hoof in turn. Ok, Bolero was familiar with his hooves being checked and cleared…. normal routine, no worries even relief to a familiar event, all shoes on tight and no painful clods of hard muck in the middle. Bolero stood bending at the neck his hind hoof raised unbecomingly and with a humorous look on his face watched when Jess found a chunk in the off rear hoof but was able to dislodge it with the nub end of his pocket knife and fingers then returned to the head of the stud and patted his shoulder. The stud recognized a return to routines of normalcy. The hands and Chuck thought that was tremendous, they started breathing again and thought the show was over. But Jess wasn't done. This stud was still wanting more seeming to dote on human attention and interaction, indeed dependent on the human for his balance. No surprise based on what he'd heard about how Kensie had babied the stud colt. So, slowly gathering the mane at the withers and watching the stallion's face for any stress, Jess took a step back and then lofted his leg softly over the stud's shoulders. He's a taller horse than Traveler so it pulled the sore right shoulder and Jess grimaced holding his head down on the far side behind the withers trying to get the shoulder to relax and not finish the threatened seize. All the afore mentioned humans refroze and gaped at the arena just waiting for the aerobatics to commence.

Under his breath Chuck groaned a prayer, "Oh dear God….. please not the shoulder. Can't get this boy into one piece and he don't seem to know when to quit." Joe was standing next to Chuck and overheard the prayer looked at Chuck then back to Jess.

Jess' loft was a soft landing on Bolero's back as if he was in fully fit condition and with the movement to such a tall horse Jess waited on his shoulder to catch up and it relaxed some settling into the familiar gravitational pull from a lifetime spent sitting a horse. Jess quickly noticed the broader back at the withers not having the shoulder blades of the horse cutting his intersection in half because the broader withers pushed him further back and centered onto his bum. Not that the bum itself had much padding to help, still the gravitational pull was more comfortable further back where a saddle cantle normally catches and holds the bum. On Bolero, it happened without the saddle. Holding the mane Jess was leaning slightly forward into his thighs still reading the stud's face, ready to bail and grab onto the pole fence or try to ride a bronc, or whatever was next…he thought he knew… and he was correct. Bolero couldn't have been happier. His torment had been reprogrammed and some human whose scent was the last thing he remembered and trusted, who was not exuding fear anywhere even was asking for some familiar fun and a ride he'd been missing for 3 years. This human was peaceful inside and the stud could feel it, the 170 pound human was to his 1500 pound size a mere weight enough to feel assurance where he was at on his strong back yet held his ribs secure with his dangling legs held just enough pressure on his sides. The stud knew direction and instructions were soon to commence. Balance was coming back on line and the spirit of this horse was ready for a dance. A light nudge of Jess' heels released him and he stepped forward in a full collected trot, his tail arched, head high and ears forward looking for a breeze in his face. Bolero raised his muzzle and drew a circle in the air, HE was ready for a full day field trip! Jess knew his self was in no condition for even one round on a full dance card and didn't want the stud to get the idea his mount was an invitation for a full romp. After all, there was no bridle or halter attached to this 1500 pound athlete and the only control Jess knew he had was voice command and leg pressure. The gaited trot was smoother than any horse he'd ridden. Only Traveler's collected lope came even close, but it did bounce the shoulder and didn't need to be pushed into a setback. Jess only wanted to open the stud's mind in introduction and to leave things on a positive note of reward and wanting more, so he lightened the leg pressure and using leg pressure turned the stud to stay in the circle of the arena and then quickly pulled him to a stop with a softly cooed, "Whoa, son." Bolero took a few more paces wanting more but obeyed the voice command and came to a smooth halt. Jess could tell instantly how light a touch Kensie had used by how quickly Bolero responded to any movement or signal and confirmed to him Kensie had used voice control….no surprise considering she was a petticoat and their propensity for vocal chatter. A soft pat on the side low on the neck came with a deep, "Good boy, Bo…we will another day." It was answered by a released jaw and light sweep of the tail and Jess would have laid a deep bet Kensie had been the only one who used that special name.

Very lightly Jess raised his voice. "Could whoever feeds him slowly bring a bucket of oats to the fence please."

One of the older hands, a very old bent over cowboy old enough to easily be a grandfather was already standing at the corner of the barn with a filled oat bucket and slowly hobbled bowlegged to the arena. As Bolero noticed the other human Jess slowly slid off patting Bolero on the side of his neck and withers, Bolero released his jaw. Jess had to bend forward slightly and wait a second or two for his thighs to adjust to the weight drop and then holding his weight he straightened and walked to the fence and took the bucket through the fence from the cowboy. Jess noticed the man with the bucket was a very senior cowboy with years of experience wrinkles, the kind of cowboy you could get lost for hours listening to his stories over a campfire.

"Afternoon, sir. I'm Jess." Was almost a whisper.

"Jed."

"Jed, I'll give him about half while you ease through the fence and I'll walk him to you so you can finish. Deal?"

"Yes ssir!" Jed was in 7th heaven because it was obvious Bolero was "his favorite grandchild" of all the horses on the ranch.

Bolero hadn't waited and as Jess turned he nearly collided with Bolero's head as his muzzle eagerly dove into the bucket and dinner commenced. Jess grimaced as he struggled with his right arm to hang onto the bucket that was being buried into his gut pushing his back into the fence. Obviously, the spoiled stud was also ravenous….. and used to being hand fed and Jess cooed with a light chuckle, "Easy, son." Bolero swirled his muzzle in the bucket in response causing Jess to grab the bucket even tighter and when the muzzle came out of the bucket a good handful of oats fell back off into the container. With what oats were still caught in the moist whiskers, Bolero looked like a kid with a food covered face.

Jed decided to talk over Jess's shoulder as he crawled through the fence. "Ssseen a lot of horses and wranglerzz in my day. Never seed nothin' like that 'fore. Don't know how you did that Jezz. When Kezzie wasn't here I'd feed him, but ssince fire I had to pud the bucket down. Nobody could get closse to him. Weren you the one who got em outta his sstall in the fire?"

"Yes, Sir, Jed and Slim brought him out of the barn. His heart's still good, he just needed a refocus. Take care of him." Jess patted Bolero on the chest softly then snuck a kiss on the muzzle when it came up chewing a mouthful. He handed the bucket to Jed as the muzzle went back in for another mouthful. Jed and Jess exchanged eye contact for a moment and what he saw stopped Jess.

"Thank you for getting him outta the sstall for what you did with Kizzie." Jed's old grizzled face was puckered in pure emotion.

Jess' eyebrows furrowed and quivered slightly recognizing the depth of Jed's connection to the horse and to Kenzie.

"Piece of you died that day, didn't it Jed?" Jess' voice was deep and soft. He knew it had to have killed the old cowboy not being fit enough any longer to have gone into the barn to retrieve this strong of a horse that was his lady's favorite and most cherished possession and the very center of hope for the future of the whole ranch. Nor could he have done anything to save her life, now believing he'd doubly failed. It was even likely in the absence of anyone ever mentioning relatives, that this man was also Kensie's adopted grandfather and that this old cowboy, who still in a lifetime didn't own much if anything at all more than the clothes on his back. That meant Jed had lost more in this fire than the others.

Ol' Jed's lip and chin quivered. He was missing at least half of his teeth from age.

"Been there with Kissie since he dropped." It took both of Jed's arms to hold the bucket against Bolero's rambunctious appetite so he nodded toward the stud.

"You did a fine job on both of them, but Jed, she needed you to live on and take care of Bo for her." Jess softly said still in his deep timbre used for the horses.

"I kk ..know…" the very elderly cowboy wheezed as his voice cracked. Jed's once pale blue eyes now almost white with age were leaking tears down the scrubby gray bristled face mostly too wrinkled any more to shave. Jess put his hand on the old cowboy's forearm and then softly squeezed his boney shoulder with his other hand. Then dropping his hand down the old cowboy's arm and while holding the forearm Jess regained the old cowboy's eye contact and nodded lightly offering reassurance. Jed nodded back slowly giving Jess his eye contact but still unable to complete a sentence out loud, accepted the salute. Jess slowly eased beside Jed giving the old grandfather a lingering man shoulder hug from the side and gently rubbed the old man's boney, bent over back while touching the side of Jed's head with his own. He held the old wrangler probably a good 20 seconds until he felt the old gentleman's trembling ease and he sniffed. Then Jess released his hand off the arm not wanting to embarrass the statesman cowboy or draw undue attention. Jess eased stiffly through the fence where Chuck met him and Joe handed him his hat and brace. Jess' 30 second contact with ol' Jed was not missed by anyone within sight as several sniffs were heard coming from the bunched up wranglers. The elderly cowhand was obviously highly regarded as a member of the ranch family and a symbol of respect as much a part of the ranch as any building. Both men were beaming but Jess just lightly looked at their faces. Without stopping and adding a slight pop on Chuck's elbow before either of them could speak Jess put his hat on pulling it low over his eyes quickly diverting view of his own eyes rimming in moisture. Jed had touched Jess deeply inside where there was no grandfather memory at all and it ignited a flicker of wishfulness to a relationship that he would never experience…. had never even considered. It was like a momentary blow of frozen air across an open wound, a gaping hole in Jess' family abyss that he didn't even realize was there… until now.

When Jess walked passed him without stopping Chuck got a closer look at Jess' face and his beaming smile faded. Up close he could see not tired, but exhaustion near collapse in the ashen tone to Jess' face and the depth of an undefined sadness he'd never seen before in the teal blue eyes was like a bottomless lake. The abyss suspended Chuck for a moment, then he also realized never seeing any grandparent anywhere around the then 5 year old who'd stolen his heart in Texas.

"Five days from surgery, Jess, you had me worried." Chuck caught up as Joe started to join but slowly let them go while listening. "Momma'd kill me something happen to you." Joe's head tilted slightly with a smile hearing Chuck's urgent murmur of concern ruffle the elder and Chuck waved to Joe and got a respectful salute in return. Joe had heard that familiarity and tone often between Chuck and his former boss, Elroy in the years he'd known them, but not between anyone else… until now with Jess. He marked it in his head to pay attention to this Jess-feller…. Anyone who could get that response from Bolero, Jed AND Chuck, and possibly designed the new barn to better plans, needed to be watched.

"Thanks, Joe." Jess waved so long to Joe and Joe saluted a wave back.

"Animal's in pain, you don't leave them." Jess was carrying the brace and stuck his right thumb in his pocket because there wasn't time to load it on before reaching the buggy. His voice was low and barely audible in its fatigue. They reached the buggy and Jess groaned under his breath as he pulled himself into the seat. The physical activity with Bolero hadn't been strenuous per se, but the concentration and focus added to being at attention and yet quieted inside – was exhausting. As they started forward they had to pass the barn construction and the hands all waved and smiled and Jess doffed his hat brim but his eyes were watching a calm stud with his nose in the oat bucket and a tail softly swishing. A grandfather's gnarled fingers were scratching the stud's forehead that was only inches from the old feller's bushy eyebrows and whose lips were moving obviously in a one-sided conversation whilst the stud dined. Jess' eyes were still brimming from emotion and tiredness but a half-smile turned up one side of his mouth watching the old man and the stud.

"He looked in fit shape to me. What do you mean pain?" Chuck was very curious interrupting Jess' cogitation.

"It's the unseen pain that hurts the most." Jess' voice was deep but soft.

Chuck looked at Jess with his eyebrows raised inviting a longer response.

"There's pain and then there's pain. There's a scream and then there's a scream. Some screams contain terror. It's a certain tone or sound," Jess paused just a moment, "…. a helplessness added to fear. Never forget it once you've heard it. A stab or a bullet is a quick puncture, fire is different. It's a living, breathing thing that eats the flesh and surrounding skin slowly. You can feel it ravenously feeding on flesh and it doesn't stop until it's smothered. Animals don't understand fire but they can hear it breathing. When it starts eating them they lose their head…happens with humans, too. When that piece of fire dropped on Bolero's poll catching his mane on fire his head quit working and his world was knocked out of plumb. Last thing he had was my scent at his head hanging onto the halter when I brushed the fire out with my hand. Can't physically get any closer than that. If I'd have turned loose when he reared, I'd have lost control of him and he'd have run off outta that barn with his nose to the wind and his mane on fire." Jess stopped for a second and shook his head at the image dropping his voice nailing it down, "Nobody would have ever caught him." Chuck shivered all over and was watching the road but seeing the imagery playing out in sequence in his head. Jess continued.

"Sarabeth said Kenzie was there when he foaled, no doubt she caught him on his way to the ground or she peeled him free. Anyway, the human touch has been his world since before his mare got to him and he got his feet. In the fire his world went from safety at a human hand to lost in darkness and a fire breathing monster eating him alive. THAT is the pain, comes out in screams containing the terror of fear that knows its helpless."

"That's what you heard when he was neighing?" Chuck asked and Jess nodded and continued.

"I heard the terror of his detached isolation from things he'd not known before that completely changed his world suspending him in being lost. His stall had been his womb, was gone. His ma, Kensie was gone. Not displaced as in college or gone for a ride and coming back and being tucked in. He'd been ejected from everything he'd know and then placed in soli….." Jess' voice broke momentarily as it touched his own memories, then continued, "…. Solitary confinement of a pole arena exposed to everything new and uncontrolled. I had to find where his world fell apart and bring his brain back with the comfort of the human touch he'd known since he dropped. With something known to him as peaceful and kind, then his mind could wake up to find out he was still alive and not consumed by the monster that was eating him when his lights went out with Slim's shirt over his head. It's a path back to sanity. I was the only one close enough to him when it happened to figure where he lost it and that was my start point if he would allow me in, and he did."

"Who taught you all this?"

"Just know, 's all." Jess looked down, grimaced and grabbed his right elbow holding the shoulder still against the bouncing of the buggy and stammered as he looked off into the horizon. "Heard the terror like his in my mother's scream…. Kensie in the barn and Josie's nightmare. Never forget …that sound." Jess was looking at the floorboard and his voice faded off.

They'd arrived back at Chuck's and a cowboy took the buggy. Jess went into the house hanging up his coat and hat and Chuck caught up and did also.

"Barry says the girls aren't back yet. You hungry? Or want a shot? Got some good bourbon."

"Thank you, no." Jess looked at Chuck with a light smile. "But I will go um.. lay down…change the gravity on this shoulder. Come get me when they get back." Chuck had met his eye contact so without waiting Jess slowly looked down and then headed down the hall to his room, the brace dragging from his left hand.

"Will do, son." Chuck shook his head side to side lightly as he was watching Jess retreat inside himself as he limped down the hall. Sasha's little toe nails tapped a happy beat on the wood floor as she ran up the hall to meet him half running half dancing up on her hind feet, pawing the air with crossed front paws wanting to be picked up. Two seconds later she fully jumped into Jess' waiting hands him not losing one step in the process as his face was enthusiastically smothered in kisses and he heard a small giggle from Jess. Chuck couldn't help but see in his mind's eye another high value, young stud colt not quite yet in his prime from no fault of his own with the mane and tail caught on fire racing away from his burning barn Texas home in such terror no human could have caught him. Only a bullet could have and who knows how many bullets it would have taken to execute humane mercy on a terrorized animal being burned alive, his entire world as he knew gone up in fire. The wind from the galloping horse would have only fed the fire travelling down the horse's body until it was a lit torch on 4 legs. He wondered in his mind if Jess was in his own past 'that stallion' at some point and that past trauma had given him the key to tell him how to bring Bolero back. Jess had also literally caught on fire when his folks were killed, only there was nobody there to catch hold of him and he'd been running from uncounted bullets since. Only somehow in Jess' world Slim Sherman had been the one to enter Jess' pole arena 5 years ago and re-center him and bring some sanity into his world. Thinking back on it now having watched Slim and Jess operate together, or just being in the same room not doing anything, there was the unmistakable connection between them and most of the time didn't need words just as Jess hadn't with Bolero. It was obvious, at least to Chuck that Slim had been able to reach deep into Jess' soul and haul him in off the path of being eaten alive from a consuming antagonist destroying everything familiar he'd known since birth. Jess'd been trapped since the complete destruction of his birth-home-stall and from that a fire that had sent him into a literal action of self-destruction whilst fighting to survive all alone in an unknown world with no stall of safety and no human to guide him. Slim had found a way to get inside Jess' soul and re-plumb his sanity and establish trust of another human again. Since he'd met the pair he'd even watched Slim be the only one who could pull Jess' temper down with nothing but gentle words and a soft hand on Jess' reins, no easy task and Chuck believed not possible by other people. Jess had the same limited loyalty to the few he'd proven trustworthy same as Bolero with Kensie, Jed and now Jess. In Jess' world, that was Slim. Yes, Jess was correct. Elroy may have constructed that ranch, but it was built for Slim because AS Slim had done that for Jess, then Slim needed this ranch in order to reach his full potential and fulfillment. Jess had rightly divined the truth and from a deep, rare internal quality of loyalty and moral integrity was sacrificing his own future to give Slim….his. Chuck nodded to himself, it was so hard for him to lose Elroy and Kenzie, but now he didn't want to miss one minute of what was right ahead. Chuck was now, more than ever, ecstatic to have Slim and Josie becoming his new neighbor. Leaning on the tree trunk holding up the center of his house musing on these revelations a ton of grief and depression lifted off the elder rancher's shoulders. Elroy had been closer than a brother and Kensie like his own daughter and they were gone, like Slim's pa was gone now and as Jess' correctly asserted, that dream needed to be put away. But there was a purpose to go on now and he had been right about that 5 year old named Jess who'd nabbed his attention so long ago in Texas. A special kid who had some kind of knack for perceiving a perimeter nobody else paid attention to. Deep in thought shaking his head sideways and pulling on his double chin Chuck went to his bar and served himself a shot of his special bourbon, but with one tiny sip put the glass down. It had lost flavor in comparison to his afternoon's discovery and he turned and looked out the huge floor to ceiling glass window into the meadow and tears slowly fell off the corners of his cheeks. He had found the reason to go on.

Jess was extremely stiff and sore for some eh-hem….odd reason the next day and he slept through most of it and nobody minded. Well, that is to say, when he got up late staying in slippers ate a huge breakfast (cleaned up everything left), took a long nap and went to bed early and had very little to no momentum during those breaks when he was not asleep, er…when his eyelids were open. Then after one more long, hot shower, he and Josie headed back to Laramie two mornings later via his loaded new buggy which still left Slim's guest room full of wedding things. By the time Maggie and Josie had finished their time on this visit wedding decisions had been made and much of the planning, even some preparation had been accomplished.

Josie found it very easy to work with Maggie just as easily as Jess had and Maggie found there was no underlying sense of the scarred past in Josie. Maggie found her identical to her mother, Sarah, who'd been Maggie's "pard" in her early married years. Josie was an exact copy of the mother yet had the youth as Jess. Apart from the obvious male difference in Jess, he, Josie, and Sarah the mother all three looked so identical it was unreal. Josie's single attribute Maggie found and enjoyed most was Josie was like a bright, shiny new penny. Not only did she have the youth, but there was very little to no pain or scars from any past nasty in her life. It was a purity Jess and his mother had lost in abuse and poverty. So Josie seemed to be bubbly and exuberant while Jess was solid foundation from survival. Perhaps Josie could be the one to live out her life on behalf of their mother only without the pain and abuse.

They were hilarious to watch at times mirroring each other in mannerisms and at other times in feisty duels of siblinghood neither one had known as a child, yet when they were in their duels, they mirrored each other in likeness. Josie knew what she wanted for her wedding, she just needed nudges here and there fine tuning her exuberance into learning how to chart a plan of action, explainable by having had her entire life pre-determined and directed by adults and very little self-independence. Here was the difference with Jess. Barely at puberty where little boys discover life is not about toads and frogs but was where Jess had been forced into an adult life of self-dependence, ejected from his birth family and home in a trauma that jolted him into a life fighting life itself to survive. But Jess had little positive adult help directing him so he'd been on a path of self-destruction making and learning from mistakes, mostly mistakes. It forced him to make adult level decisions and mistakes even before puberty. Between them they had learned that whatever life hands you, you just never give up.

SELAH - Part Three.

The Sherman Harper Enterprises Saga:

Part One: The Inheritance

Part Two: The Buckboard Incident

Part Three: Never Give Up

Part 4- (being written )– To go forward or stagnate? Slim's new personal life affects his career and changes things with Jess. Will Slim marry Josie or will things fall apart?

Part 5- (in development) ….what will Jess do, facing commitment, the Twin Dream continues – birthing fatherhood and entering their future as leaders of a new Cattleman's Association with the arrival of the railroad.


End file.
